Workaholic Dad’s Emotional Letter After Finding Out His 8-Year-Old Son Died During A Conference Meeting
“Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think.” These lyrics, probably best known from a classic The Specials cover, have a painful resonance for dad J.R Storment after the tragic passing of his son Wiley.
Image credits: J.R. Storment/Linkedin
A self-described “workaholic,” Storment is the co-founder of a company called Cloudability. He spent much of the previous eight years working late, overtime and shunning holidays, as he laid the foundations for a successful business.
However, all that success meant nothing after the realization that he had missed the vast majority of his precious son’s short, yet action-packed life. Full of regret, Storment took to LinkedIn to pen an emotional letter, urging parents to reassess their priorities, put family first and not make the same mistakes that he did.
Image credits: J.R. Storment/Facebook
“A journal of Wiley’s we found the day after he died”
Image credits: J.R. Storment/Linkedin
Image credits: J.R. Storment/Instagram
Image credits: J.R. Storment/Instagram
Image credits: J.R. Storment/Instagram
Image credits: J.R. Storment/Instagram
Image credits: J.R. Storment/Linkedin
Heartbreaking words, that we would be wise to heed. You can also read Jessica’s letter here, also a frank and honest account of the tragedy that urges a better work/life balance for everyone.
No parent should miss out on a single moment of those precious early childhood years unless it is strictly necessary!
Here’s what people had to say about the letter
TELL PARENTS! When SUDEP claimed my sister many years ago, it was not yet named or recognized. She just somehow died of what never killed anyone. We were devastated. Two years later, SUDEP was acknowledged. TELL PARENTS SUDEP CAN HAPPEN and not just to juveniles. My sis was over 25. Thank you, and please be aware of both SUDEP and SEIZURE FIRST AID (patient on side, nothin gin mouth, keep head safe from hitting things, time seizure, note symptoms, and just always call 911 b/c you never know, okay?)... Peace.
Thank you for passing on this vital life saving information I'm just sorry and sad that we only know about it because of families who have had the worst happen to them. To reach out through your own devestating pain to help others in whatever way you can -sharing your story like Wileys parents or passing on information about a very little known but deadly condition as you have, shows the best of humanity is really out there. I hope you, your family and all those who loved your sister have managed to find some kind of peace in your lives x
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So sad for this family. But yeah, it's not a good advice for a struggling single parent. Maybe the lesson is - you can't have it all, so don't forget to enjoy yourself from time to time.
That's the thing, it's easy to have a post be heartbreaking both ways (parents working too much or too little). Parents that don't (or can't) put in the time to amass some wealth will regret that they didn't give their child all the opportunities they could've and the poor kid had to sacrifice so much etc. This kid seemed to want to be just like dad which means dad was doing something right. Finding that happy medium is really tough.
Load More Replies...
to all the parents that *have* to work long hours, to keep their family fed (especially the single parents)... as a kid of such parents, may I please say that the best solution is: FOCUSED time, doing something that the kid wants to do WITH YOU. It may be once a week, for 1-2 hours. But if it is some part of their world that you can enter, and experience, it will mean the world to them. It can be as simple as colouring-in, playing 'tea', watching them climb a tree, having a picnic & reading a book outside, listening to them sing. Whatever it may be: if it's consistent, and constant.... it IS enough. Consistency is more important than duration. I wish you all good things.
Amen, amen, amen. Focus time, and little rituals or routines. On the ride home from daycare, name three great things about your day (kids and grownups). Tell bedtime stories, telling them stories about your childhood, or making up a never ending kiddie soap opera. Have the kids help you pick out your outfit for the next day, or have a joke jar for them to add jokes to during the week. Work on the shopping list together, helping your child with spelling, planning etc. Have your child estimate how much different items will cost. Go shopping together. See how close your kid's guesses were to the actual costs. Practice math skills, such as rounding up, adding in your head, using a calculator to determine which packaging is cheaper by the ounce, etc. My best memories with my parents are doing every day things together.
Load More Replies...
I guess for the single, overworked parked parent, what you can do is simply leave little notes for your child, put special treats in their lunch, cuddle an extra 10 minutes, hug then extra tight, tell them you love them ALOT, send them silly text messages....all of this adds up and tells them that you love them.
Cherie of Numenor Exactly, and whenever you can take time off, do nice things with your kid, it doesn't have to cost money, you can go out in the park and just hangout and play together :)
Load More Replies... 
Nobody is going to remember that you made all of your work deadlines, you had 10 hours of overtime every work week, you finished the report on time, or you were a great worker the day after you retire or end your job. Your family will remember when you didn't show up to your children's soccer matches or you didn't attend the violin recital or spent weekends in the office versus with the family enjoying life. The day after you leave work, the people at your work will barely be able to remember your name. Prioritize where you can make the greatest impact and that's with your family and loved ones; not work.
I feel for this dad and his overworked self. It made me realize how lucky I was to work from home and enjoy my son as he was growing up. I dropped him off at school in the morning and picked him up in the afternoon. As we drove home he would always say, Can we go to the park? And we did. Later the question was, Can we play put put? Mini golk that was near his school, and we always did. I love the fact that I got have a son and to enjoy all those wonderful times. I am sorry for your loss but you are lucky you have another son and a chance to make the most of it and appreciate him. Good luck.
I have lost two of my babies. My first daughter in 2016 only lived about 15 minutes. My son was stillborn just 6 months ago. His twin, my only living child spent 17 days in the NICU and is now growing and thriving. With my husband's full support, I quit my demanding job to stay home. It's so nice to know that on his days off we KNOW 100% that we can all be together and we don't have to work around my work schedule too. Yes, it's made things tight but I cherish every day I wake up with her and no amount of money will change that. This kind of grief is compounded by now having a child that is a twinless twin and every milestone and life event the living twin encounters, the parents will also be thinking about the twin that passed and what they should be sharing with their sibling. Our doctor also told us to watch out for survivors guilt in our daughter as she grows older. He said it's very common with the living twin. Breaks my heart anyone has to suffer this unimaginable loss.
I was in my car and hour ago when I read this, I was crying so bad..... Now I am inside my bathroom reading this all over again, still crying..... My heart breaks over and over for that dad and that mother..... I cannot comprehend why such thing happens soemtimes to parents, to a child... An innocent child full of life....With a promising future.....😢Why? This is just not right for heaven sakes....Is not right..... I almost have the urgency to give that father and mother a hug. Enjoy paradise little angel...
I learned in grief counseling that it’s normal to have unreasonable guilt after a terrible loss. (Not everyone has that reaction and that’s normal too.) You were working: that’s what adults do. You were building a life for yourself and your family. That’s a good thing. I know it’s not my place to have an opinion on this, but I’ll say it anyway: you didn’t do anything wrong. Grief is bad enough; you don’t deserve anguish too. It’s not my place to say this either, but I’ll say it: you gave your son a great life and you were a great father. If some people don’t tell you that, it’s because they don’t think it’s their place and also because it’s so clear that they might not realize you’re doubting yourself.
My heart is broken and I want to sob.... but I'm at work so holding it in. I am going to hug my kids extra tight tonight, but more so my son. He had absence seizures a form of epilepsy. He has outgrown them thankfully but not one doctor or specialist told me about the sudden death with epilepsy. I keep thinking what if it was my son???? I only have one (blood) son. My other two kids are girls and I am blessed with 4 stepsons whom I love dearly as if they are my own, but I only have one. I can't even imagine. My heart goes out to this family.
This brings to mind something my younger son said to me when he was about 6. I was constantly doing housework, it seemed. One day he wanted me to play with him. I said I was "too busy working." He said "But you're always busy working." I walked away from the work and sat down and played with him. To this day, I can't even remember what I was doing when he asked me to spend time with him.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! im crying so bad right now
So very sad.. But is it not odd that LinkedIn was his medium off choice to get his message out?
I got news for this Dad. You may not think Wiley is with you when you do those things he can't now...but he is. Right there. Beside all of you..enjoying every moment. He will always be with you. My sincere condolences on your loss.
Goddamnit this is sad, appreciate life. It can whisked away at an instant.
Sad story. The fact that he worked so hard enabled his kids to have a good life, though, even though one of them had theirs tragically cut short. I commend this man for his hard work and for trying to do the best he can to ensure a good future for his family. Sorry for your loss.
I am sorry I can't finish reading this. This is very unbearably heartbreaking. I have an eight years old and I can't imagine losing him.
I know that this isn’t the point of the post (I can’t even imagine what that would be like, just reading the post made me cry. I feel so sad for this guy.) but there’s something about that Facebook comment from Carolyn Arpoika see ms shady...almost sarcastic? Like obviously she didn’t mean it this way but it’s almost as if she is brushing off the tragedy of it? I can’t quite place it, I feel like she worded it very weirdly.
I think it was all the exclamation points. But I’m not criticizing her because she is one of the few who offered comfort instead of low key criticism. I agree with what she wrote; he was a great dad providing for his family. He doesn’t deserve the anguish of guilt.
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I had a friend die suddenly in his early 20s due to epilepsy. His poor roommate found him the morning after in his bed. It was a shock to our entire friend group. His funeral was beautiful and full of colourful flowers and life, just like he was.
I agree. People should know the risks, however small yet irreversible they may be.
Unforseen tragedy, grief, sorrow... all so part of human experience. Its always easy to judge in a hind sight . We have to trust we do the best and learn to do better next time...thank you for sharing to help us all to learn.
"Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think" that song always gave me chills. So true, so scary, sounds almost happy but there is kinda dark message beneath. Even the first time I heard it on House, I felt chills. We are so waisting our precious lifes, we are not doing things we love, we are not with people we love and who love us, just work, work, obligations, saving everything for some future times that may never come. I am so sad for this child.
I lost my only sibling to suicide 32 years ago, and I suffer PTSD because of it. My parents, feeling guilty, didn't want to talk about it/him because it was too painful, so I had lots of bad feelings bottled inside me. I wrote poetry to express some of my sorrow, but it was too hard on a 14-year-old to deal with, and I fell into a deep depression. (I had almost died in a car wreck 1 year prior, almost to the day, and that didn't help matters) I still deal with depression on a daily basis. I'm glad you are improving your relationship with your parents because I didn't get that luxury. I don't feel close to them at all. They are extremely loving to my son, who is an only child, but they weren't that way with me. I was spoiled at times, but they never say, "I love you," and that hurts. Your surviving son is going to have a lot of hurt feelings to work through, so make sure he talks about it with you. I can only imagine how close the twins were, and he'll always feel it.
SIDS SADS sudden infant / adult death syndrome. This is another version of unexplained death. There is not warning, symptom , it just happens. It leaves the family shattered. SO many refuse to acknowledge it happens. No likes not having an answer, sometimes there just is no answer. We do not know why, just how it works. take the time you need to grieve. There is not set time. There is no wrong way to grieve, you do what is necessary to get yourself through to other side. You will have a different level of happiness. You never again take life for granted.
I was particularly mindful of the single parent who said she had to work 2 jobs to get by. Companies don't pay enough. We live in an oligarchy where economic control is gradually being usurped by the billionaires who are buying Congress. They will determine who gets what and the majority of the work force will get only enough to keep working. The middle class will be just big enough to prevent a rebellion and our standing army can be kept home to maintain law and order, oligarch style. Forget medical care for anything but routine problems - keep the work force working.
Awww, why is it that only when s**t hits the fan we realize that some of the thing we think are important don't actually matter for s**t? And even then, we go back to doing that s**t again, because we believe in a higher calling and s**t?
It's incredible to think what Riley accomplished in his life: he taught a man about priorities, and that man is teaching others.
Oh,very sad indeed. I will say this, reading his story, it does sound like he was a present dad, and the the son was an intelligent young man. Yes try to spend time with loved ones, friends, even those with whom we don't get along, because life is short, and no one belongs to anyone.
As another commenter said, "I have no words". Docs should warn parents about this condition. Something as serious as epilepsy is NEVER "benign". Do they, supposed medical "professionals" really understand what epilepsy is?
I am sending you and your family my special wishes for your continued growth on the journey you are going on; as you take the special memories of your son with you to a new normal. I am so sorry for your loss and pray for your peace of mind as you forgive yourself.
Don’t beat yourself up and know your son is in heaven with no more pain and struggles and loves you and he knows you love him
It is so hard not to overwork. Most jobs require it if you want to be able to pay bills and help pay for your child's education, just so they can go to college and enter into the same cycle all over again. This story is not new. The problem is not new. We prioritize paid labor as our standard of productivity and self-worth. We do not reward any other type of action as a society. How many novels, movies, and songs have said the same thing? The problem is no one has figured out how to revise our current system. We work more hours now than ever. You can say the meetings aren't important and that emails don't matter, but if you don't go to that meeting, if you don't answer that email, then you won't have a job. You can step down and take an "easier" job, but retail workers, food service workers, factory workers, they have that same struggle. This is not something the individual can just decide to do, it is something society must demand as a norm.
I have held the hands of two sets of friends who both lost two year old sons , even helping with the obituaries. My only advice is to follow the leads of the parents - let them talk about their child when they want to, and hold their hand years afterwards when life moves on for everyone. Their children are always the age they died - forever two years old with chubby cheeks and learning about life, and I try to gently remind their parents that I remember them at their most beautiful. Prayers of peace and a new way of life for Wiley's family. Thank you for sharing your son's story.
I cried and cried. As a workaholic and a mother of two young kids, time just flies so quickly. But you can never get that time back. This just broke my heart. May God look after your family and time bring you peace.
Nobody should ever lose a child, and nobody should ever beat themselves because they worked for a living to provide for their family. Yes, we make tough choices every day and you can't always be there for your kids every time you would like. I was very lucky as a single parent that I worked for myself and could be at home and keep a roof over our heads. Appreciate every moment of every day, it's good advice.
We are truly sorry for your loss! We as well loss our son. It becomes a very new life. Our prayers for strength as you continue your next journey. One, a parent should not ever have to take.
The thing that this family has gone through is not fare. It's sad to see that they had to have a child taken from them, no person deserves that let alone family. And then a kid having their brother being taken from them, I could never imagine. I hope that your family is able to spend time together, for the time lost.
A friend and his wife lost their 4 year old several years ago. It was heartbreaking. They started the Danny Did Foundation which has make great strides. Reading this story, I think they need more exposure.
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How do you know he hasn't done the those things? Maybe he has, but didn't inform you! Grief is different in everyone. If he wanted to write this and believed publishing it on social media would help him, help his family or help others who are you to judge! This might not be your way, but that's ok as we are all different. Men have a high rate of suicide, partly because they find it harder to talk about things...maybe this is his way of exploring those feelings. Maybe this is a really good thing for him. We should all be allowed to be true to our own feelings, never more so than when grieving, and this is him doing just that. So don't judge him, or call him out for being different to you, If he wishes to share his sons memory then what is it to you really. You will walk away from the post probably rolling your eyes... he walks away, wherever he goes with part of his heart missing, without his boy.
Load More Replies... TELL PARENTS! When SUDEP claimed my sister many years ago, it was not yet named or recognized. She just somehow died of what never killed anyone. We were devastated. Two years later, SUDEP was acknowledged. TELL PARENTS SUDEP CAN HAPPEN and not just to juveniles. My sis was over 25. Thank you, and please be aware of both SUDEP and SEIZURE FIRST AID (patient on side, nothin gin mouth, keep head safe from hitting things, time seizure, note symptoms, and just always call 911 b/c you never know, okay?)... Peace.
Thank you for passing on this vital life saving information I'm just sorry and sad that we only know about it because of families who have had the worst happen to them. To reach out through your own devestating pain to help others in whatever way you can -sharing your story like Wileys parents or passing on information about a very little known but deadly condition as you have, shows the best of humanity is really out there. I hope you, your family and all those who loved your sister have managed to find some kind of peace in your lives x
Load More Replies... So sad for this family. But yeah, it's not a good advice for a struggling single parent. Maybe the lesson is - you can't have it all, so don't forget to enjoy yourself from time to time.
That's the thing, it's easy to have a post be heartbreaking both ways (parents working too much or too little). Parents that don't (or can't) put in the time to amass some wealth will regret that they didn't give their child all the opportunities they could've and the poor kid had to sacrifice so much etc. This kid seemed to want to be just like dad which means dad was doing something right. Finding that happy medium is really tough.
Load More Replies... to all the parents that *have* to work long hours, to keep their family fed (especially the single parents)... as a kid of such parents, may I please say that the best solution is: FOCUSED time, doing something that the kid wants to do WITH YOU. It may be once a week, for 1-2 hours. But if it is some part of their world that you can enter, and experience, it will mean the world to them. It can be as simple as colouring-in, playing 'tea', watching them climb a tree, having a picnic & reading a book outside, listening to them sing. Whatever it may be: if it's consistent, and constant.... it IS enough. Consistency is more important than duration. I wish you all good things.
Amen, amen, amen. Focus time, and little rituals or routines. On the ride home from daycare, name three great things about your day (kids and grownups). Tell bedtime stories, telling them stories about your childhood, or making up a never ending kiddie soap opera. Have the kids help you pick out your outfit for the next day, or have a joke jar for them to add jokes to during the week. Work on the shopping list together, helping your child with spelling, planning etc. Have your child estimate how much different items will cost. Go shopping together. See how close your kid's guesses were to the actual costs. Practice math skills, such as rounding up, adding in your head, using a calculator to determine which packaging is cheaper by the ounce, etc. My best memories with my parents are doing every day things together.
Load More Replies... I guess for the single, overworked parked parent, what you can do is simply leave little notes for your child, put special treats in their lunch, cuddle an extra 10 minutes, hug then extra tight, tell them you love them ALOT, send them silly text messages....all of this adds up and tells them that you love them.
Cherie of Numenor Exactly, and whenever you can take time off, do nice things with your kid, it doesn't have to cost money, you can go out in the park and just hangout and play together :)
Load More Replies... Nobody is going to remember that you made all of your work deadlines, you had 10 hours of overtime every work week, you finished the report on time, or you were a great worker the day after you retire or end your job. Your family will remember when you didn't show up to your children's soccer matches or you didn't attend the violin recital or spent weekends in the office versus with the family enjoying life. The day after you leave work, the people at your work will barely be able to remember your name. Prioritize where you can make the greatest impact and that's with your family and loved ones; not work.
I feel for this dad and his overworked self. It made me realize how lucky I was to work from home and enjoy my son as he was growing up. I dropped him off at school in the morning and picked him up in the afternoon. As we drove home he would always say, Can we go to the park? And we did. Later the question was, Can we play put put? Mini golk that was near his school, and we always did. I love the fact that I got have a son and to enjoy all those wonderful times. I am sorry for your loss but you are lucky you have another son and a chance to make the most of it and appreciate him. Good luck.
I have lost two of my babies. My first daughter in 2016 only lived about 15 minutes. My son was stillborn just 6 months ago. His twin, my only living child spent 17 days in the NICU and is now growing and thriving. With my husband's full support, I quit my demanding job to stay home. It's so nice to know that on his days off we KNOW 100% that we can all be together and we don't have to work around my work schedule too. Yes, it's made things tight but I cherish every day I wake up with her and no amount of money will change that. This kind of grief is compounded by now having a child that is a twinless twin and every milestone and life event the living twin encounters, the parents will also be thinking about the twin that passed and what they should be sharing with their sibling. Our doctor also told us to watch out for survivors guilt in our daughter as she grows older. He said it's very common with the living twin. Breaks my heart anyone has to suffer this unimaginable loss.
I was in my car and hour ago when I read this, I was crying so bad..... Now I am inside my bathroom reading this all over again, still crying..... My heart breaks over and over for that dad and that mother..... I cannot comprehend why such thing happens soemtimes to parents, to a child... An innocent child full of life....With a promising future.....😢Why? This is just not right for heaven sakes....Is not right..... I almost have the urgency to give that father and mother a hug. Enjoy paradise little angel...
I learned in grief counseling that it’s normal to have unreasonable guilt after a terrible loss. (Not everyone has that reaction and that’s normal too.) You were working: that’s what adults do. You were building a life for yourself and your family. That’s a good thing. I know it’s not my place to have an opinion on this, but I’ll say it anyway: you didn’t do anything wrong. Grief is bad enough; you don’t deserve anguish too. It’s not my place to say this either, but I’ll say it: you gave your son a great life and you were a great father. If some people don’t tell you that, it’s because they don’t think it’s their place and also because it’s so clear that they might not realize you’re doubting yourself.
My heart is broken and I want to sob.... but I'm at work so holding it in. I am going to hug my kids extra tight tonight, but more so my son. He had absence seizures a form of epilepsy. He has outgrown them thankfully but not one doctor or specialist told me about the sudden death with epilepsy. I keep thinking what if it was my son???? I only have one (blood) son. My other two kids are girls and I am blessed with 4 stepsons whom I love dearly as if they are my own, but I only have one. I can't even imagine. My heart goes out to this family.
This brings to mind something my younger son said to me when he was about 6. I was constantly doing housework, it seemed. One day he wanted me to play with him. I said I was "too busy working." He said "But you're always busy working." I walked away from the work and sat down and played with him. To this day, I can't even remember what I was doing when he asked me to spend time with him.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! im crying so bad right now
So very sad.. But is it not odd that LinkedIn was his medium off choice to get his message out?
I got news for this Dad. You may not think Wiley is with you when you do those things he can't now...but he is. Right there. Beside all of you..enjoying every moment. He will always be with you. My sincere condolences on your loss.
Goddamnit this is sad, appreciate life. It can whisked away at an instant.
Sad story. The fact that he worked so hard enabled his kids to have a good life, though, even though one of them had theirs tragically cut short. I commend this man for his hard work and for trying to do the best he can to ensure a good future for his family. Sorry for your loss.
I am sorry I can't finish reading this. This is very unbearably heartbreaking. I have an eight years old and I can't imagine losing him.
I know that this isn’t the point of the post (I can’t even imagine what that would be like, just reading the post made me cry. I feel so sad for this guy.) but there’s something about that Facebook comment from Carolyn Arpoika see ms shady...almost sarcastic? Like obviously she didn’t mean it this way but it’s almost as if she is brushing off the tragedy of it? I can’t quite place it, I feel like she worded it very weirdly.
I think it was all the exclamation points. But I’m not criticizing her because she is one of the few who offered comfort instead of low key criticism. I agree with what she wrote; he was a great dad providing for his family. He doesn’t deserve the anguish of guilt.
Load More Replies... I had a friend die suddenly in his early 20s due to epilepsy. His poor roommate found him the morning after in his bed. It was a shock to our entire friend group. His funeral was beautiful and full of colourful flowers and life, just like he was.
I agree. People should know the risks, however small yet irreversible they may be.
Unforseen tragedy, grief, sorrow... all so part of human experience. Its always easy to judge in a hind sight . We have to trust we do the best and learn to do better next time...thank you for sharing to help us all to learn.
"Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think" that song always gave me chills. So true, so scary, sounds almost happy but there is kinda dark message beneath. Even the first time I heard it on House, I felt chills. We are so waisting our precious lifes, we are not doing things we love, we are not with people we love and who love us, just work, work, obligations, saving everything for some future times that may never come. I am so sad for this child.
I lost my only sibling to suicide 32 years ago, and I suffer PTSD because of it. My parents, feeling guilty, didn't want to talk about it/him because it was too painful, so I had lots of bad feelings bottled inside me. I wrote poetry to express some of my sorrow, but it was too hard on a 14-year-old to deal with, and I fell into a deep depression. (I had almost died in a car wreck 1 year prior, almost to the day, and that didn't help matters) I still deal with depression on a daily basis. I'm glad you are improving your relationship with your parents because I didn't get that luxury. I don't feel close to them at all. They are extremely loving to my son, who is an only child, but they weren't that way with me. I was spoiled at times, but they never say, "I love you," and that hurts. Your surviving son is going to have a lot of hurt feelings to work through, so make sure he talks about it with you. I can only imagine how close the twins were, and he'll always feel it.
SIDS SADS sudden infant / adult death syndrome. This is another version of unexplained death. There is not warning, symptom , it just happens. It leaves the family shattered. SO many refuse to acknowledge it happens. No likes not having an answer, sometimes there just is no answer. We do not know why, just how it works. take the time you need to grieve. There is not set time. There is no wrong way to grieve, you do what is necessary to get yourself through to other side. You will have a different level of happiness. You never again take life for granted.
I was particularly mindful of the single parent who said she had to work 2 jobs to get by. Companies don't pay enough. We live in an oligarchy where economic control is gradually being usurped by the billionaires who are buying Congress. They will determine who gets what and the majority of the work force will get only enough to keep working. The middle class will be just big enough to prevent a rebellion and our standing army can be kept home to maintain law and order, oligarch style. Forget medical care for anything but routine problems - keep the work force working.
Awww, why is it that only when s**t hits the fan we realize that some of the thing we think are important don't actually matter for s**t? And even then, we go back to doing that s**t again, because we believe in a higher calling and s**t?
It's incredible to think what Riley accomplished in his life: he taught a man about priorities, and that man is teaching others.
Oh,very sad indeed. I will say this, reading his story, it does sound like he was a present dad, and the the son was an intelligent young man. Yes try to spend time with loved ones, friends, even those with whom we don't get along, because life is short, and no one belongs to anyone.
As another commenter said, "I have no words". Docs should warn parents about this condition. Something as serious as epilepsy is NEVER "benign". Do they, supposed medical "professionals" really understand what epilepsy is?
I am sending you and your family my special wishes for your continued growth on the journey you are going on; as you take the special memories of your son with you to a new normal. I am so sorry for your loss and pray for your peace of mind as you forgive yourself.
Don’t beat yourself up and know your son is in heaven with no more pain and struggles and loves you and he knows you love him
It is so hard not to overwork. Most jobs require it if you want to be able to pay bills and help pay for your child's education, just so they can go to college and enter into the same cycle all over again. This story is not new. The problem is not new. We prioritize paid labor as our standard of productivity and self-worth. We do not reward any other type of action as a society. How many novels, movies, and songs have said the same thing? The problem is no one has figured out how to revise our current system. We work more hours now than ever. You can say the meetings aren't important and that emails don't matter, but if you don't go to that meeting, if you don't answer that email, then you won't have a job. You can step down and take an "easier" job, but retail workers, food service workers, factory workers, they have that same struggle. This is not something the individual can just decide to do, it is something society must demand as a norm.
I have held the hands of two sets of friends who both lost two year old sons , even helping with the obituaries. My only advice is to follow the leads of the parents - let them talk about their child when they want to, and hold their hand years afterwards when life moves on for everyone. Their children are always the age they died - forever two years old with chubby cheeks and learning about life, and I try to gently remind their parents that I remember them at their most beautiful. Prayers of peace and a new way of life for Wiley's family. Thank you for sharing your son's story.
I cried and cried. As a workaholic and a mother of two young kids, time just flies so quickly. But you can never get that time back. This just broke my heart. May God look after your family and time bring you peace.
Nobody should ever lose a child, and nobody should ever beat themselves because they worked for a living to provide for their family. Yes, we make tough choices every day and you can't always be there for your kids every time you would like. I was very lucky as a single parent that I worked for myself and could be at home and keep a roof over our heads. Appreciate every moment of every day, it's good advice.
We are truly sorry for your loss! We as well loss our son. It becomes a very new life. Our prayers for strength as you continue your next journey. One, a parent should not ever have to take.
The thing that this family has gone through is not fare. It's sad to see that they had to have a child taken from them, no person deserves that let alone family. And then a kid having their brother being taken from them, I could never imagine. I hope that your family is able to spend time together, for the time lost.
A friend and his wife lost their 4 year old several years ago. It was heartbreaking. They started the Danny Did Foundation which has make great strides. Reading this story, I think they need more exposure.
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How do you know he hasn't done the those things? Maybe he has, but didn't inform you! Grief is different in everyone. If he wanted to write this and believed publishing it on social media would help him, help his family or help others who are you to judge! This might not be your way, but that's ok as we are all different. Men have a high rate of suicide, partly because they find it harder to talk about things...maybe this is his way of exploring those feelings. Maybe this is a really good thing for him. We should all be allowed to be true to our own feelings, never more so than when grieving, and this is him doing just that. So don't judge him, or call him out for being different to you, If he wishes to share his sons memory then what is it to you really. You will walk away from the post probably rolling your eyes... he walks away, wherever he goes with part of his heart missing, without his boy.
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