It’s hard to stand in someone else’s shoes. Especially when it comes to the opposite gender. So when someone asked the women of Reddit what they think would be the worst thing about being a man, the answers flooded in. 37.6K comments later, it became obvious that a lot of redditors get it.

The male gender is a tough role to play and you’re constantly expected to act in a certain way. Hence, one woman replied that the stigma around being a guy is already tough. Another said that “not having your emotions taken seriously” would be the hardest part. Let’s dive into some of the most honest responses that will make us rethink the things about gender that we take for granted.

#1

My father was a single parent raising a young girl at a private catholic gradeschool. He went to all my girlscout parent meetings, came to all the mom-daughter and dad-daughter events like dances and breakfasts, and even volunteered every year for the school’s bake-off (usually only moms participated). He did all these stereotypical motherly events so I wouldn’t feel left out. But he got heavily judged and ridiculed by other mothers solely because he wasn’t my mom and therefore shouldn’t be allowed to participate. The community there was so catty and everyone gossiped about him. Yes he was a single dad, but he also admitted he would wanna do that stuff anyway because he wanted to spend time with his daughter. Couldn’t imagine being judged for wanting to hang with your kid at a baking contest and being told it’s wrong.

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ADHORTATOR
Community Member
5 months ago

These moms were "good christians..." Thumbs up for Dad

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#2

“I was raped”

“Haha good one”

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
5 months ago (edited)

Yup, this one irks me a lot. We wonder why men are the biggest risks of suicide when they are made to feel weak, as a joke, unbelieved etc when it comes to abuse, mental illness etc. We need to do more as a society to prevent it and help these men before it’s too late.

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#3

Probably the stigma. I've seen a single father get shouted at for being with his kid when at a park for 'trying to kidnap children'. The dude wanted to make his son happy, not molest him ffs.

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
5 months ago

I have heard a few cases like this. A single father was checking into a hotel with his daughter but the police were called because they suspected him of trafficking kids. A man was moved on an aeroplane because he was sitting next to an unaccompanied minor and had a woman sit there instead. Men are often seen as perpetrators first. Guilty until found innocent.

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Recently, there has been a surge in discussions about so-called traditional gender roles and norms. Last year, the American Psychological Association released 10 guidelines for psychologists working with males. It has addressed a variety of problematic points related to “traditional masculine ideology” like gender role strain, oppression, and gender bias. The experts who worked on the guidelines have concluded that suppressed emotions in men "cause damage that echoes both inwardly and outwardly.”

Fredric Rabinowitz, a professor of psychology at the University of Redlands, believes that these men who feel oppressed by gender roles have their emotional being deteriorate with time. “We see that men have higher suicide rates, men have more cardiovascular disease, and men are lonelier as they get older,” he told The New York Times. Helping to expand their emotional repertoire is key to tackling such psychological problems. “We don’t try to take away the strengths that men have.”

#4

I would not be allowed a moment of weakness. Bad day? You can't cry unless your mother just died. Hurt yourself? Suck it up and go to the hospital. Feeling self conscious about your body? Nobody cares. Feeling ill? SoMOne HaS a MaN COld!!!!!

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Claes Gustavsson
Community Member
5 months ago

What? I cry quite often – most of the time are dogs involved, music or general kindness.

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#5

"Oh, you got stuck taking care of the kids today, huh? Giving Mom a day off, finally?"

Dads know what I'm talking about.

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LOttawa
Community Member
5 months ago

I hated when my boyfriend got told he babysat.... Not baby sitting when he's raising her and taking care of her.

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#6

Being sexually assaulted by a female and people telling me that I'm "lucky".

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Colin L
Community Member
5 months ago

Yeah, the crappy flipside to "what were you wearing?" is "Was she pretty?" A victim is a victim... nobody asks for it, should be told to feel grateful for the attention, or ... ffs, how do people mess up empathy so badly?!?

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Bored Panda contacted Donatas Paulauskas, the senior advisor at the Office of the Equal Opportunities Ombudsperson and asked him about some of the most common male gender stereotypes.

Donatas told us that one of the most unjust, yet very common, stereotypes about men is that they aren’t emotional. “Men tend to exhibit fewer emotions due to their upbringing, and that’s why they can’t identify and express their feelings as well as most women.” Throughout the years, men learn to hide their emotions and keep them all to themselves in order not to appear unmanly.

The term “toxic masculinity” has recently come into the spotlight. “It refers to the radical concept of masculinity.” Donatas explained: “it’s characterized by aggression, anger, disdaining view of fellow men and women, and denial of one’s emotions and vulnerability.” Toxic masculinity is viewed as harmful because it’s toxic to the man and those around him.

#7

As a woman, I will never, ever have any doubt that my children are mine.

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
5 months ago

Well sadly there have been many times where the babies have been switched at birth.

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#8

Hands down always being the villain. a colleague of mine was a bit on the heavier side, but decided to get into shape and started jogging. so he jogs around his block daily until his smart watch tells him his quota for the day is full. that day he was a bit late but went for a jog when the sun was setting. not many people out there, but as he was on his way, some girls saw him jogging their way, got scared and called the cops on him for obviously trying to chase them to rape them or something. now, the guy didn't know about the call, he just sees two girls seeing him coming, turning around and running away and he's like 'what the f**k?' until the cops come for him. you know, for the biggest offence in the whole human history: trying to get fit. i felt really bad for him.

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K.
Community Member
5 months ago

That sucks!! Let’s work towards a society where women, including trans women, don’t feel on edge in the dark or in strange environments.

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#9

Having a higher suicide rate but depression and other mental illnesses being pretty taboo.

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Kaisu
Community Member
5 months ago

Hopefully soon it'll become less of a taboo and men can openly discuss mental health issues with each other and be there for each other

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But Donatas warns that toxic masculinity should not be seen as equal to the traditional view of masculinity. “This one has a lot of positive features like courage, determination, and confidence.” Only when we emphasize these features too much, men are pressured into being supermen. And that, of course, is impossible.

Luckily, more and more modern men are willing to get rid of the stereotypes. “Men are more active in searching for their inner voice, authenticity, and are becoming less afraid of coming across as unmanly.” Donatas believes that there should be an active movement towards changing the old-fashioned standards of masculinity in our societies.

#10

Being expected to be the "breadwinner" generally by society

Being less likely to gain custody of my own kids in a separation

Being "disposable" in times of war

DIY.

And... Having to deal with my own balls. What if I sat on one. Ouch.

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Colin L
Community Member
5 months ago

Why don't we figure out a person's worth as they grow? Every person I know has different strengths and weaknesses. And no person is disposable.

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#11

Being arrested for defending myself against an abusive partner.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
5 months ago

Yes, it's strange how cops (and the total legal system) are prejudiced in cases of domestic violence.

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#12

I think the "gay panic" stuff would be the most annoying. Guys can't make physical contact other than punching each other in the shoulder or high-fiving without it being considered gay. Sometimes I wanna give my friend a platonic hug or touch their hair or something, and if I was a man I'd probably be afraid to do that.

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Kaisu
Community Member
5 months ago (edited)

Physical affection between men has historically been much more common than it is nowadays. Nowadays it's the toxic masculinity born out of the stereotype of the masculine, macho man that has brought with it the notion that guys being affectionate with each other somehow indicates that they're gay.

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#13

People expecting that I could fight.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
5 months ago

People expecting that I would fight.

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#14

Not having your emotions taken seriously, then lashing out because of it and then seen as violent because you just want to be understood. I had that with abusive parents but normally people don't treat me that way because I'm a woman. I can't imagine what an entire life of not having your feelings acknowledged in a healthy way feels like.

"Suck it up and be a man"

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Colin L
Community Member
5 months ago

I have always hated the phrase "man up." Fc*k your artificial purity tests for stoicism and machismo. I hurt, I feel, I cry, and sometimes I need help.

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#15

Being in a crowded urinal. Everyone has the dicks out standing next to each other. Like what the f**k just make stalls why have them in the open.

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Branden Hart
Community Member
5 months ago

Thats why WE don't have queues at events - 4 to a urinal - and remember the rule, dont look, point or aim at anyone else!

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#16

I'd be afraid to be a male teacher. How easy would it be to give a girl student a grade a failing grade they deserve or just pissing them off any kind of way, but it's a crazy one who ends up accusing you of something awful?

While that's specific, it's a general fear. Just the accusation itself will cost you your career.

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Colin L
Community Member
5 months ago

I'm a math professor, and every once in a while a student tries to flirt with me... it gets weird, and I shut it down fast. I'm pretty sure it's just toxic tools from the female camp (not flattering when you recognize it as manipulative).

Prince Maroochy
Community Member
5 months ago

I mean I feel like students would flirt with teachers for better grades regardless of their gender.

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
5 months ago

Sadly this is why more and more men are leaving or not entering the teacher/child care fields. There really needs to be a law that anyone caught making false accusations gets the same punishment as if they were an actual perpetrator. Maybe that will stop the liars.

Natalie Bohrteller
Community Member
5 months ago

I've had the same feeling about this, but there is one major downside to it. A law like that could prevent even more victims from reporting any incidents. I mean, there are already now a huge number of victims who don't dare to tell anybody because they fear nobody might believe them. Just think what that kind of law would do, causing even more fear... I see your point and I also have a feeling there must be done something, but I also guess there is no good solution to it.

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*sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby
Community Member
5 months ago

That kind of happened at my school. My Geometry teacher is a short, skinny Asian man in his 20's, and his classes vary. He has to teach on-level math, Algebra (Pre-AP), and Geometry (Advanced), and his Algebra classes are a mix of 7th and 8th graders. Well, class of 2025 in my school (7th graders) are the cockiest little... anyways. One of the 7th grade girls was doing rEally bad in his class because she didn't pay attention and she talked, plus she was popular and trashed talked most of her teachers and people not in her grade. So he already doesn't like her, but he doesn't give bad grades based on that, he gives grades fairly. So she got an F on something, and had been particularly shitty that week, so she went home and got a band of her minion-friends (all girls) and started spreading rumors that he was a pedo, and creepy, and that you shouldn't trust him. These rumors reached the people in charge of my school, and they brought it up with him. The parents of the girls involved were

*sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby
Community Member
5 months ago

contacted, to provide proof of this or something, and they had to bring the girls to a meeting with everyone involved to see what was going on. They were going to fire him, but before their meeting, to see if it was needed, the people in charge asked the kids in other classes as well as their own if what they were saying was true. Us, loving him cus he's a sweet ball of awesomeness and a cinnamon bun and he doesn't and would never do that, told them a HARD no and that we knew they had made it up, and told him about it. He was too stressed and didn't care enough to put up with their bull shittery then, because of them and they knew it. Then the power people got them in trouble for lying, contacted their parents, and kept the meeting just to discuss the punishments for the girls. They got a 1-day suspension as punishment for lying to their parents, their authority figures, almost costing one of the most beloved and respected teachers his job and ruining his chances for getting another

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DE Ray
Community Member
5 months ago

In college, I was part of a professional fraternity (think fewer keggers and toga parties and more networking conferences and internships). The overwhelming majority went into teaching - of 39, all but me and one other. In the 18 years since then, every single one has been fired from teaching jobs over accusations of sexual misconduct with a female student, including the four I know are homosexual and one who is an actual "lives in a religious community and wears a robe" monk. While I'm not going to say all of these men are pure as the driven snow, it strains credulity that 100% of male teachers molest female students.

Tabitha L
Community Member
5 months ago

What do you think is the solution? Body cams for teachers? All the teachers in my family are female. So they haven't had to deal with this. (All kinds of other threats, but not sexual accusations.)

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Draco Malfoy
Community Member
5 months ago

Can I just say, the only male teachers that I have had were in science, and they were some of my favorite teachers.

Annabeth Chase
Community Member
3 months ago

Was it Severus Snape?

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Markus Holstein
Community Member
5 months ago

Not just teachers. The same is true of male doctors, nurses and other healthcare professionals. In med school we were explicitly instructed to never be alone when doing a physical on a female patient, but to always bring a (if possible, female) witness

Felicia Dale
Community Member
5 months ago

I have a dear friend who gave up teaching grade school when the rules changed and he was no longer allowed to hug or touch any of the students. It broke his heart. He's the gentlest, sweetest, most fatherly guy who adored his students. To not be able to comfort them when they skinned a knee or got bullied was too much.

ChickyChicky
Community Member
5 months ago

Abuse of women is still way, way, way more prevalent than false accusations.

Vincent Philippart
Community Member
5 months ago

This is not a misery contest Chicky. Recognizing one side of the problem does not cancel out the other.

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Jim Kang
Community Member
5 months ago

Not just teachers, but fellow students. There was a kid, with a promising future in professional sports, I believe he was drafted. Women accused him of assault. Long story short. He spent many years in prison, till he was finally exonerated.

Peter Bear
Community Member
5 months ago

Ever wonder why you see so few elementary school male teachers? This is why. I was a teacher's aide for a couple of years, and I can confirm this bias is very real. Any male dealing with children is automatically assumed to be a pedophile, and placed under far harsher restrictions than any of their female counterparts. And people wonder why there's so few good male role models for kids...

Shart
Community Member
5 months ago

This post may seem alarming..yet correct. Your on a yearly contract..all the school systems share info...one accusations as simple as he looked at her...and your not getting hired anywhere

Meyer Weinstock
Community Member
5 months ago

Yes, sometimes I miss my tenure...

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Ahkilah Adams
Community Member
5 months ago

This happened to a friend of mine. Ruined his life. He was an amazing, award winning teacher, and the basketball coach. Lost it all because some girl just wanted to say she "slept with coach."

CbusResident
Community Member
5 months ago

Exactly, which is why the 'believe all women' meme of feminists is really f***ing stupid. Duke Lacrosse? Tawana Brawley? Those women were not believed, b/c they were making false rape accusations.

elfin
Community Member
3 months ago

Of course a boy student could make a similar accusation.

Cori
Community Member
3 months ago

I had a science teacher in middle school who I adored. He was a great teacher, very animated and engaging. BUT he was also touchy feely. I don't think he intended anything by it and it never made ME uncomfortable. He did little things like put his hand on your shoulder when leaned over to help you with a question. It struck me as more fatherly than predatory. All the same though, a few years later someone complained and he got fired. It's possible that I was too naive to notice his true intentions, but it's just as possible that someone over exaggerated and ruined this poor man's life.

Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
5 months ago

My husband used to be a music teacher. He absolutely made sure the door to his room was ALWAYS open, whether the student was male or female. (He did have students hit on him occasionally and they were very quickly dropped).

fainasKeturatis
Community Member
5 months ago

in theory, flirting with teachers/professors seems to be harder to handle by male but in practice, it ends up way easier. Yes, male professors/teachers might be more popular of starting improper relationships of that topic but when it comes down to handling it without breaking a law... Men have a big advantage here.

James
Community Member
3 months ago

How’s that?

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Tiny Dynamine
Community Member
5 months ago

I used to be a primary teacher, basically because I love kids. Most of the time, parents were glad that their kids could have a male teacher as it was so rare and I never picked up any signals that anyone thought I was a paedo. I know who I am and I loved my job and never had to be worried, so I was never going to let that bother me. Nor the idea that it's not a manly thing to teach young kids. I tell you, the choice between teaching little ones or teenagers is no choice at all!

Marty BlackEagle-Carl
Community Member
5 months ago

fear of being accused of something you havent done has grown since 'me too' movement.

Ruth Dyke
Community Member
5 months ago

I think any girl or woman who falsely accuses of boy or man of inappropriate sexual behavior or rape should suffer the consequences the boy or man would or do face.

Pamela Scott
Community Member
5 months ago

My cousin was a cop that was dating a college student his age. They dated for a while but when he wanted to break up she goes to his boss and claims he raped her. He got arrested and it was over or the place made the news in 3 states. Turned out he was the 5th guy she did it to and that she had been diagnosed with a mental health issue and was supposed to be under her parents care back in her home state. She recanted her statements and he eventually got his job back but he has never been given any promotions even though he has been a great cop. There are people here who still think maybe he did do something of course and they are always going to whisper behind his back. He did nothing wrong at all but that does not matter!

Hannah M
Community Member
5 months ago

Yes! That's the problem with #metoo and all that. The moment a female says a male did something, it's snapped up, reputation/career over. It's as if, in this matter, we've somehow been conditioned to automatically believe the female 100%. Like sure, exercise caution until the accusation has been definitely disproved, but... Women lie too!

April Simnel
Community Member
3 months ago

The very nature of sexual assault being private, and usually just two people involved makes it hard to prove. Therein lies the problem. A person looking to sexually assault someone wouldn't do it publicly, and neither would a person looking to set someone else up.

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Nigel Rodgers
Community Member
3 months ago

Worse when you're single and over 30 I'm afraid of being alone with anyone's kids except immediate nephews and nieces and even then I won't do it if I have the least dispute with their parents.

Steve Watts
Community Member
3 months ago

Drill sergeants in mixed basic training companies are terrified of working with women. They fear, with good reason, being accused of sexual assault by female trainees who are washing out, and are trying to pressure the drill into giving them a pass anyway. They make a point of NEVER being in a room alone with a female recruit, and the other drill had better be a female too. Spikewatts

Lucy Hill
Community Member
3 months ago

My girlfriend’s ex husband lost his job as a teacher because he bought a text book for a bright n promising student who couldn’t afford it. He held her back after class to give it to her so as not to embarrass her in front of her peers. Her parents found out n complained. He was just trying to give their daughter a fair chance at a better future.

Living_Shadow
Community Member
3 months ago

One of my sweetest science teachers when I was in 8th grade was rumored to be a pervert just because he gave compliments every now and then, in an attempt to be nice.

Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
5 months ago

My husband used to be a music teacher and kept a strict rule that his door always stayed open when he was with a student. He had a teenage female show up in a halter (no bra) and short shorts. He cancelled the lesson, explained to her exactly why and called her mother to come pick her up. It may seem extreme, but he wasn't about to put himself in a compromising position.

Nothanks L. Walk
Community Member
5 months ago

EXACTLY. False MeToo's do more harm than real ones. The only solution for a man falsely MeToo'd is suicide.

AlanandLeila Hoyt
Community Member
5 months ago (edited)

I hate the #MeToo movement so much and I am female. I have a dad, a brother, a husband, and two sons and I'd be devastated if someone pulled a #MeToo on them and they get convicted with no evidence. Ever read what Potiphar's wife did to Joseph? There are plenty of women like that. They will pretend to be weak and cute, pretend to be victims to get what they want. Exaggerate/fake emotions and throw child-like temper tantrums to control others. I believe every accusation should be investigated, absolutely, but to "believe women" indiscriminately, with zero evidence is stupid and allows the evil Potiphar's wives to destroy lives.

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Lamb Taylor
Community Member
5 months ago

I think nowadays people have to see if the event is a usual occurrence before making accusations. Unless your unlucky enough to live in an ultra conservative environment.

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#17

Being a father of a daughter or even babysitting. The complete mistrust that people give them is astonishing. If she starts throwing a tantrum in public, people always assume the worst. I would want my daughter to give my husband hugs and love him the same as she would love me in public but people just view it differently.

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Ivy
Community Member
5 months ago

Really? Is this a thing? That’s messed up :(

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#18

The constant pressure in society that the man has to pay for meals, drinks, etc. I feel like it all would add up really quickly.

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Colin L
Community Member
5 months ago

Ah, the joy of being a walking wallet. (Yeah, objectification can go both ways)

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#19

Being considered a possible threat by strangers, probably. Like, I get it, you never know, but it would probably suck.

Either that or the dick and balls. Like, they’re just dangling there? Are they in the way? How do you straddle stuff? Will you accidentally squish them? Do you have to like, tuck them into your underwear?

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Colin L
Community Member
5 months ago

Oh yes... they are sensitive, and they change shape during the day. We're not trying to be crass, adjustments are just periodically needed.

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#20

Most women think there's nothing wrong with being abusive and cruel with men. It's so upsetting watching women treat men like absolute s**t. To top it off, men are expected to still act like "a gentleman" and also they're not allowed to feel vulnerable, or to feel sad, angry because some lady was just "a little sassy" when in reality she was being abusive piece of s**t

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K.
Community Member
5 months ago

Abusive women can employ many different methods to hurt. While I don’t agree with it, I have to put my two cents on the table. As a society, we don’t allow women to be assertive and reprimand them for having unpleasant feelings/behavior, so they resort to passive-aggressiveness and actual violence when overwhelmed and usually directed towards their partner. I am aware that in many pockets of developed countries, you see more assertive women. I am aware that men can be passive-aggressive too. I’m just offering an observation for some people’s behavior. Also, they may be expected to act like a gentlemen and a proper lady, but abusers don’t adhere to that and do employ a variety of methods to hurt and diminish their partners. Sometimes it’s not even intentionally insidious, but a relic that has been ingrained by human behavior. Psychology is a relatively new field, and not everyone has access to therapy or ways to modulate their toxic behavior.

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#21

Probably being forced to never... well, feel. There are so many people who make fun of guys for having feelings or even showing them. I would never be able to deal with it, and my heart broke the day my boyfriend told me his exes used to verbally abuse him for crying in front them.

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Helen Haley
Community Member
5 months ago

If someone makes fun of a guy for having feelings, that is the other persons issue, not the guys. Guys are totally allowed and encouraged to have feelings. So much healthier.

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#22

Having to chase after women. I’d give up halfway, honestly.

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Kaisu
Community Member
5 months ago

You shouldn't have to chase after anyone. If someone is clearly not interested in spending time with you, then accept that and move on. It's definitely not fair for you if you have to chase after someone

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See Also on Bored Panda
#23

I would be terrified of my dick getting stuck in a zipper

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ADHORTATOR
Community Member
5 months ago

that' s why we use underwear

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#24

Being expected to be more effective at physical labor, being expected to do more dangerous work, receiving less empathy when struggling with emotional issues.

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Draco Malfoy
Community Member
5 months ago

The amount of times that the lack of being able to share emotion has come up is quite sad. I think these stereotypes need to change

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#25

Having to be the person physically in charge in a threatening situation. Like always being with a man when walking home from a party in a sketchy area at night. Yes there is safety in numbers but the dude is expected to be protective regardless of level of awareness, self defensive, or drunkenness. That’s a lot of pressure.

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Draco Malfoy
Community Member
5 months ago

That sucks. Nobody should ever feel like they are being pressured into something that they don't want to do.

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#26

How is DYING 7 YEARS SOONER not on the list?

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Zachary Goldstein
Community Member
5 months ago

Because we all are human. at the end of the day, we know that we all are going to die and we don't treat it any differently than females do.

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#27

Trans woman here. I guess I have a unique perspective because I've lived life on both sides of the coin in many ways. Things that suck about being a guy: You are always expected to be the initiator/pursuer You are not permitted by society to be expressive in your appearance There's an extreme woman-favoring asymmetry in dating apps, which like it or not, is how many young couples meet nowadays Compliments are few and far between Nobody gives a [crap] how you feel, nor do they want to hear about it If you do not have a requisite level financial success, you are worthless Nobody wants to be affectionate with you unless you're dating them, and even then, your needs for physical affection are misconstrued for needs for sex

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Kaisu
Community Member
5 months ago (edited)

I'm a woman but I've definitely noticed that a lot of men have issues with people not being platonically physically affectionate with them even when they might need it. You can't be physically affectionate with male friends because that's "gay" and female friends might take it as you hitting on them. I'm really sorry for any guy who has to feel like they don't get the platonic physical affection they need and I hope we can change this soon!

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#28

Only 1 orgasm at a time.

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Full Name
Community Member
5 months ago

I know some women never get to, or not till their 30's etc but I'm telling you when faced with a girl who can rattle 'em off rapid fire, it feels so unfair, especially if it's not easy for you to get yours. Plus, we have the pressure of staying hard. Can't fake that.

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#29

Overall, I think it’s more difficult for guys to get dates.

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Full Name
Community Member
5 months ago

You "think"? Go to a dating app. It's full of women complaining about getting too many messages to respond to. There are BUSTED women with profiles who come off as shitheads who complain about too much attention. Men are absolutely societally expected to ask for the girl's number, or ask for the date etc. It's awesome when a girl takes initiative.

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#30

Balding for sure

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Ben Smith
Community Member
5 months ago

Eh big deal. It’s 1000 times worse to be a woman with thinning hair.

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