It’s hard to stand in someone else’s shoes. Especially when it comes to the opposite gender. So when someone asked the women of Reddit what they think would be the worst thing about being a man, the answers flooded in. 37.6K comments later, it became obvious that a lot of redditors get it.

The male gender is a tough role to play and you’re constantly expected to act in a certain way. Hence, one woman replied that the stigma around being a guy is already tough. Another said that “not having your emotions taken seriously” would be the hardest part. Let’s dive into some of the most honest responses that will make us rethink the things about gender that we take for granted.

#1

My father was a single parent raising a young girl at a private catholic gradeschool. He went to all my girlscout parent meetings, came to all the mom-daughter and dad-daughter events like dances and breakfasts, and even volunteered every year for the school’s bake-off (usually only moms participated). He did all these stereotypical motherly events so I wouldn’t feel left out. But he got heavily judged and ridiculed by other mothers solely because he wasn’t my mom and therefore shouldn’t be allowed to participate. The community there was so catty and everyone gossiped about him. Yes he was a single dad, but he also admitted he would wanna do that stuff anyway because he wanted to spend time with his daughter. Couldn’t imagine being judged for wanting to hang with your kid at a baking contest and being told it’s wrong.

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ADHORTATOR
Community Member
6 months ago

These moms were "good christians..." Thumbs up for Dad

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#2

“I was raped”

“Haha good one”

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
6 months ago (edited)

Yup, this one irks me a lot. We wonder why men are the biggest risks of suicide when they are made to feel weak, as a joke, unbelieved etc when it comes to abuse, mental illness etc. We need to do more as a society to prevent it and help these men before it’s too late.

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#3

Probably the stigma. I've seen a single father get shouted at for being with his kid when at a park for 'trying to kidnap children'. The dude wanted to make his son happy, not molest him ffs.

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
6 months ago

I have heard a few cases like this. A single father was checking into a hotel with his daughter but the police were called because they suspected him of trafficking kids. A man was moved on an aeroplane because he was sitting next to an unaccompanied minor and had a woman sit there instead. Men are often seen as perpetrators first. Guilty until found innocent.

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Recently, there has been a surge in discussions about so-called traditional gender roles and norms. Last year, the American Psychological Association released 10 guidelines for psychologists working with males. It has addressed a variety of problematic points related to “traditional masculine ideology” like gender role strain, oppression, and gender bias. The experts who worked on the guidelines have concluded that suppressed emotions in men "cause damage that echoes both inwardly and outwardly.”

Fredric Rabinowitz, a professor of psychology at the University of Redlands, believes that these men who feel oppressed by gender roles have their emotional being deteriorate with time. “We see that men have higher suicide rates, men have more cardiovascular disease, and men are lonelier as they get older,” he told The New York Times. Helping to expand their emotional repertoire is key to tackling such psychological problems. “We don’t try to take away the strengths that men have.”

#4

I would not be allowed a moment of weakness. Bad day? You can't cry unless your mother just died. Hurt yourself? Suck it up and go to the hospital. Feeling self conscious about your body? Nobody cares. Feeling ill? SoMOne HaS a MaN COld!!!!!

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Claes Gustavsson
Community Member
6 months ago

What? I cry quite often – most of the time are dogs involved, music or general kindness.

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#5

"Oh, you got stuck taking care of the kids today, huh? Giving Mom a day off, finally?"

Dads know what I'm talking about.

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LOttawa
Community Member
6 months ago

I hated when my boyfriend got told he babysat.... Not baby sitting when he's raising her and taking care of her.

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#6

Being sexually assaulted by a female and people telling me that I'm "lucky".

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Colin L
Community Member
6 months ago

Yeah, the crappy flipside to "what were you wearing?" is "Was she pretty?" A victim is a victim... nobody asks for it, should be told to feel grateful for the attention, or ... ffs, how do people mess up empathy so badly?!?

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Bored Panda contacted Donatas Paulauskas, the senior advisor at the Office of the Equal Opportunities Ombudsperson and asked him about some of the most common male gender stereotypes.

Donatas told us that one of the most unjust, yet very common, stereotypes about men is that they aren’t emotional. “Men tend to exhibit fewer emotions due to their upbringing, and that’s why they can’t identify and express their feelings as well as most women.” Throughout the years, men learn to hide their emotions and keep them all to themselves in order not to appear unmanly.

The term “toxic masculinity” has recently come into the spotlight. “It refers to the radical concept of masculinity.” Donatas explained: “it’s characterized by aggression, anger, disdaining view of fellow men and women, and denial of one’s emotions and vulnerability.” Toxic masculinity is viewed as harmful because it’s toxic to the man and those around him.

#7

As a woman, I will never, ever have any doubt that my children are mine.

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
6 months ago

Well sadly there have been many times where the babies have been switched at birth.

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#8

Hands down always being the villain. a colleague of mine was a bit on the heavier side, but decided to get into shape and started jogging. so he jogs around his block daily until his smart watch tells him his quota for the day is full. that day he was a bit late but went for a jog when the sun was setting. not many people out there, but as he was on his way, some girls saw him jogging their way, got scared and called the cops on him for obviously trying to chase them to rape them or something. now, the guy didn't know about the call, he just sees two girls seeing him coming, turning around and running away and he's like 'what the f**k?' until the cops come for him. you know, for the biggest offence in the whole human history: trying to get fit. i felt really bad for him.

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K.
Community Member
6 months ago

That sucks!! Let’s work towards a society where women, including trans women, don’t feel on edge in the dark or in strange environments.

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#9

Having a higher suicide rate but depression and other mental illnesses being pretty taboo.

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Kaisu
Community Member
6 months ago

Hopefully soon it'll become less of a taboo and men can openly discuss mental health issues with each other and be there for each other

Vanities
Community Member
6 months ago

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True, Michal. There is hardly anything studied on men's either high suicide and other aberrant behavior such as murder and drug dealing. The only advice from psychology is just be like women. Toxic masculinity is their mantra. If women realized this affected minority men the most and not just evil privileged white males ,they might be more sympathetic.

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Julia Daxenbichler
Community Member
6 months ago

While I totally agree with this, we should keep in mind that *completed* suicide rates are higher in men. Suicide attempts are higher in women. Men just tend to use more effective methods, like gunshot or hanging, while women use "softer" methods like drug overdose. But still, the fact that men are often told to "just suck it up", or that their mental health is not taken seriously, absolutely needs to change.

Colin L
Community Member
6 months ago

Mental health denial is dangerous. I think that the rates of depression are similar, but more men "succeed" in suicide because they typically use more lethal means.

deanna woods
Community Member
6 months ago

For my dad, it's not just about being a man. It's about being a black man. A lot of black people think that you shouldn't be telling others that you are having mental health issues. They think that you should keep that to yourself. Thankfully, with my mom and us, he doesn't have to hide his vulnerability because we stick by him no matter what.

Vanities
Community Member
6 months ago

Black men have it worse than any other demographic in the US. Early death, massive incarceration, lowest graduation rate. Somehow they are failing in extraordinary numbers and no one wants to help. We have plenty of specific groups to help women and especially minority women but little for black men. Conventional answer is "you;re screwed because of racism so you have to wait for the whites to change the system to let you in."

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Full Name
Community Member
6 months ago

I think these are still things women are reluctant to talk about too. Not sure this one is overly gender biased.

Kit Cassidy
Community Member
6 months ago

It's a higher rate of successful suicide. Women attempt it far more often, but because of the ways they usually go with they are more likely to survive/be saved.

Draco Malfoy
Community Member
6 months ago

I think a lot of guys say it as a joke, and most people don't realize that they're being serious

Jaybird3939
Community Member
6 months ago

I am all for men receiving therapy in the wake of the CoronaVirus Pandemic, but I also feel they should be able to see any mental health provider at any time. There are some not so great therapists, so if you're not comfortable, get a weird vibe, or not getting the results you're looking for, there is no right/wrong in getting a new therapist. It happens fairly frequently, and they're not going to call and harass you, show up at your door or e-mail you. Any male or female provider has rules, guidelines and laws to protect patient's rights. Confidentiality is also another highly regulated law that providers follow, and even surpass for their patient's private information (suicide attempt is one of these supremely confidential services). I'm hoping, as time goes by, the people who need therapy will come forward and make an appt.

Maddie Painter
Community Member
4 months ago

Friend was suffering from terrible anxiety and he could not stop worrying when he came to my house- saying stuff like "Lock the door that way Uncle bo can't get it" turns out his uncle bo had been touching him for years when he visited (Twice a week). His mother didn't believe him so it went undiagnosed until he turned sixteen. Mom thought it was so strange saying what reasons does he have to be anxious? But he wasn't just anxious, he was terrified and constantly worrying. Friend (Who came out as bi) confronted his Uncle Bo about it in front of mother. Uncle Bo denied these allegations but then once his mom was gone whispered "Why does it matter you like guys anway, right?" His mom thought the diagnosis was fake didn't let them give him the proper medicine, ahoy he is now suffering from crippling anxiety. Even years after he moved out of his mother's house he still messages me asking me if he can sleep over so he could avoid uncle bo for at least a night.

Jesse Levesque
Community Member
4 months ago

Yep, it sucks. Having clinical depression and anxiety sucks. And it extra sucks because you have to feel guilty about having them and hide them from everyone. It sucks never ever showing weaknesses, it gets exhausting real quick.

Jace
Community Member
4 months ago

Yes, that’s our culture of toxic masculinity. Invulnerability, constant strength, no vulnerability... It’s shit.

Ninja Nonna
Community Member
5 months ago

I lost my brother to suicide, I'm always very aware.

Vanities
Community Member
6 months ago

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Psychology controlled by 80 percent feminists telling men its their own fault, get over it. The field of psychology is going the way of most leftist field such as sociology...irrelevance.

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But Donatas warns that toxic masculinity should not be seen as equal to the traditional view of masculinity. “This one has a lot of positive features like courage, determination, and confidence.” Only when we emphasize these features too much, men are pressured into being supermen. And that, of course, is impossible.

Luckily, more and more modern men are willing to get rid of the stereotypes. “Men are more active in searching for their inner voice, authenticity, and are becoming less afraid of coming across as unmanly.” Donatas believes that there should be an active movement towards changing the old-fashioned standards of masculinity in our societies.

#10

Being expected to be the "breadwinner" generally by society

Being less likely to gain custody of my own kids in a separation

Being "disposable" in times of war

DIY.

And... Having to deal with my own balls. What if I sat on one. Ouch.

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Colin L
Community Member
6 months ago

Why don't we figure out a person's worth as they grow? Every person I know has different strengths and weaknesses. And no person is disposable.

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#11

Being arrested for defending myself against an abusive partner.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
6 months ago

Yes, it's strange how cops (and the total legal system) are prejudiced in cases of domestic violence.

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#12

I think the "gay panic" stuff would be the most annoying. Guys can't make physical contact other than punching each other in the shoulder or high-fiving without it being considered gay. Sometimes I wanna give my friend a platonic hug or touch their hair or something, and if I was a man I'd probably be afraid to do that.

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Kaisu
Community Member
6 months ago (edited)

Physical affection between men has historically been much more common than it is nowadays. Nowadays it's the toxic masculinity born out of the stereotype of the masculine, macho man that has brought with it the notion that guys being affectionate with each other somehow indicates that they're gay.

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#13

People expecting that I could fight.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
6 months ago

People expecting that I would fight.

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#14

Not having your emotions taken seriously, then lashing out because of it and then seen as violent because you just want to be understood. I had that with abusive parents but normally people don't treat me that way because I'm a woman. I can't imagine what an entire life of not having your feelings acknowledged in a healthy way feels like.

"Suck it up and be a man"

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Colin L
Community Member
6 months ago

I have always hated the phrase "man up." Fc*k your artificial purity tests for stoicism and machismo. I hurt, I feel, I cry, and sometimes I need help.

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#15

Being in a crowded urinal. Everyone has the dicks out standing next to each other. Like what the f**k just make stalls why have them in the open.

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Branden Hart
Community Member
6 months ago

Thats why WE don't have queues at events - 4 to a urinal - and remember the rule, dont look, point or aim at anyone else!

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#16

I'd be afraid to be a male teacher. How easy would it be to give a girl student a grade a failing grade they deserve or just pissing them off any kind of way, but it's a crazy one who ends up accusing you of something awful?

While that's specific, it's a general fear. Just the accusation itself will cost you your career.

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Colin L
Community Member
6 months ago

I'm a math professor, and every once in a while a student tries to flirt with me... it gets weird, and I shut it down fast. I'm pretty sure it's just toxic tools from the female camp (not flattering when you recognize it as manipulative).

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#17

Being a father of a daughter or even babysitting. The complete mistrust that people give them is astonishing. If she starts throwing a tantrum in public, people always assume the worst. I would want my daughter to give my husband hugs and love him the same as she would love me in public but people just view it differently.

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Ivy
Community Member
6 months ago

Really? Is this a thing? That’s messed up :(

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#18

The constant pressure in society that the man has to pay for meals, drinks, etc. I feel like it all would add up really quickly.

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Colin L
Community Member
6 months ago

Ah, the joy of being a walking wallet. (Yeah, objectification can go both ways)

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#19

Being considered a possible threat by strangers, probably. Like, I get it, you never know, but it would probably suck.

Either that or the dick and balls. Like, they’re just dangling there? Are they in the way? How do you straddle stuff? Will you accidentally squish them? Do you have to like, tuck them into your underwear?

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Colin L
Community Member
6 months ago

Oh yes... they are sensitive, and they change shape during the day. We're not trying to be crass, adjustments are just periodically needed.

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#20

Most women think there's nothing wrong with being abusive and cruel with men. It's so upsetting watching women treat men like absolute s**t. To top it off, men are expected to still act like "a gentleman" and also they're not allowed to feel vulnerable, or to feel sad, angry because some lady was just "a little sassy" when in reality she was being abusive piece of s**t

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K.
Community Member
6 months ago

Abusive women can employ many different methods to hurt. While I don’t agree with it, I have to put my two cents on the table. As a society, we don’t allow women to be assertive and reprimand them for having unpleasant feelings/behavior, so they resort to passive-aggressiveness and actual violence when overwhelmed and usually directed towards their partner. I am aware that in many pockets of developed countries, you see more assertive women. I am aware that men can be passive-aggressive too. I’m just offering an observation for some people’s behavior. Also, they may be expected to act like a gentlemen and a proper lady, but abusers don’t adhere to that and do employ a variety of methods to hurt and diminish their partners. Sometimes it’s not even intentionally insidious, but a relic that has been ingrained by human behavior. Psychology is a relatively new field, and not everyone has access to therapy or ways to modulate their toxic behavior.

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#21

Probably being forced to never... well, feel. There are so many people who make fun of guys for having feelings or even showing them. I would never be able to deal with it, and my heart broke the day my boyfriend told me his exes used to verbally abuse him for crying in front them.

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Helen Haley
Community Member
6 months ago

If someone makes fun of a guy for having feelings, that is the other persons issue, not the guys. Guys are totally allowed and encouraged to have feelings. So much healthier.

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#22

Having to chase after women. I’d give up halfway, honestly.

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Kaisu
Community Member
6 months ago

You shouldn't have to chase after anyone. If someone is clearly not interested in spending time with you, then accept that and move on. It's definitely not fair for you if you have to chase after someone

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#23

I would be terrified of my dick getting stuck in a zipper

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ADHORTATOR
Community Member
6 months ago

that' s why we use underwear

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#24

Being expected to be more effective at physical labor, being expected to do more dangerous work, receiving less empathy when struggling with emotional issues.

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Draco Malfoy
Community Member
6 months ago

The amount of times that the lack of being able to share emotion has come up is quite sad. I think these stereotypes need to change

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#25

Having to be the person physically in charge in a threatening situation. Like always being with a man when walking home from a party in a sketchy area at night. Yes there is safety in numbers but the dude is expected to be protective regardless of level of awareness, self defensive, or drunkenness. That’s a lot of pressure.

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Draco Malfoy
Community Member
6 months ago

That sucks. Nobody should ever feel like they are being pressured into something that they don't want to do.

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#26

How is DYING 7 YEARS SOONER not on the list?

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Zachary Goldstein
Community Member
6 months ago

Because we all are human. at the end of the day, we know that we all are going to die and we don't treat it any differently than females do.

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#27

Trans woman here. I guess I have a unique perspective because I've lived life on both sides of the coin in many ways. Things that suck about being a guy: You are always expected to be the initiator/pursuer You are not permitted by society to be expressive in your appearance There's an extreme woman-favoring asymmetry in dating apps, which like it or not, is how many young couples meet nowadays Compliments are few and far between Nobody gives a [crap] how you feel, nor do they want to hear about it If you do not have a requisite level financial success, you are worthless Nobody wants to be affectionate with you unless you're dating them, and even then, your needs for physical affection are misconstrued for needs for sex

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Kaisu
Community Member
6 months ago (edited)

I'm a woman but I've definitely noticed that a lot of men have issues with people not being platonically physically affectionate with them even when they might need it. You can't be physically affectionate with male friends because that's "gay" and female friends might take it as you hitting on them. I'm really sorry for any guy who has to feel like they don't get the platonic physical affection they need and I hope we can change this soon!

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#28

Only 1 orgasm at a time.

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Full Name
Community Member
6 months ago

I know some women never get to, or not till their 30's etc but I'm telling you when faced with a girl who can rattle 'em off rapid fire, it feels so unfair, especially if it's not easy for you to get yours. Plus, we have the pressure of staying hard. Can't fake that.

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#29

Overall, I think it’s more difficult for guys to get dates.

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Full Name
Community Member
6 months ago

You "think"? Go to a dating app. It's full of women complaining about getting too many messages to respond to. There are BUSTED women with profiles who come off as shitheads who complain about too much attention. Men are absolutely societally expected to ask for the girl's number, or ask for the date etc. It's awesome when a girl takes initiative.

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#30

Balding for sure

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Ben Smith
Community Member
6 months ago

Eh big deal. It’s 1000 times worse to be a woman with thinning hair.

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#31

When a guy at my work opened up about his ex wife brandishing a gun at him, one of the women asked "so what did you do to her first to piss her off?" she was fully serious, and said that domestic violence is always the man's fault. like what the actual f**k.

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deanna woods
Community Member
6 months ago

That woman sounds like an idiot. No one, regardless of gender, deserves to be the victim of domestic violence.

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#32

Depression.

Men are told to suck it up, they’re taught that emotions make them weak. When things start to go downhill they feel like they can’t talk to anybody. I see it with my partner and it is so sad. When he starts suffering from a bit of depression, he goes downhill quick, because he doesn’t reach out and talk to somebody, because society has told him that he needs to stay strong and not show any signs of ‘weakness’. There’s a reason that the rate of male suicides is so high.

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K.
Community Member
6 months ago

Please, reach out to your friends. Men and women must dismantle this stigma of being weak for having and suffering through mental illness. Males and anyone identifying as men, please allow yourselves to feel and talk about your emotions. Male friendships can be more intimate and physically platonic, don’t be afraid of being perceived negatively. Female and male platonic romance is also very important to our health. Can we not make physical intimacy sexual all the time? A hug or pat could just mean I got you.

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#33

Not being able to take care of children without getting dirty looks.

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Biljana Malesevic
Community Member
6 months ago

I never saw anyone giving dirty looks to fathers taking care of children.

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#34

Having everyone discredit and treat you poorly if you’re not over 5’10”

Like you’re a 5’5” guy and every girl turns you down cause of your height. I know not every girl is heightest but if every single short guy can tell you a couple stories of being turned down cause of their height then I mean come on...

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Claes Gustavsson
Community Member
6 months ago

Yes, the idea of "tall, dark and handsome" lives. But once you get to know each other, it doesn't matter. I'm 1.69. 5'5" doesn't mean anything to me, but it should equal 1.65.

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#35

Harsher prison sentences/conditions.

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K.
Community Member
6 months ago

There are also racial and economic disparities that affect the sentences and conditions. Females get harsher sentences when they fail to protect their child from abusers, even if the avusers are the cause of death.

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#36

The draft. Just being expected to go to war and possibly dying whether you agree with it or not.

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Colin L
Community Member
6 months ago

Yeah. I wasn't thrilled to have to sign up. But in high school I did get a recruiter to hang up on me! (The last thing he said was "When I'm out there defending our country, I'm doing it for one less person!")

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#37

Being abused in public by a women and having people laugh instead of intervening to help you. Also the whole to be a man you have to act a certain way. Brutal.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
6 months ago

And don't you try to defend yourself against a woman beating you up, because you will go to jail.

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#38

The constant insecurity of whether you're 'man enough'.

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Iapetos
Community Member
6 months ago

People not assuming ANY intrinsic worth of you.

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#39

I’m really touchy feely with my friends/family. Well that’s kind of not socially acceptable in many societies as a man. Or at least not in my society.

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K.
Community Member
6 months ago

Let’s fucking end this. Platonic physical intimacy is important to our well being. Also, please practice excellent personal hygiene. This pandemic has taught us that it’s hard to be without your people.

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#40

Emotional unavailability of others.

As a woman, I definitely face a lot of hardships that men don't have to deal with. But when I'm at my point of breaking, sobbing and inconsolable, I know I can message one of my friends (usually one of the girls) and cry and b***h to them about it and they will listen to me and really connect with me. They will tell me how s****y the person who did that is, how difficult it must be to deal with, how strong I am for persevering in the face of adversity.

On the other hand, I've spent my life trying to be a non-judgmental source of venting for my male friends and I've found that basically everyone who I'm like that with ends up either thinking I'm into them romantically, or expressing how grateful they are for something they get so little of. Guys are told to just suck it up and push their emotions down, and I think it is harmful to all of us.

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Full Name
Community Member
6 months ago

Bless you.

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#41

-Having to be the man no matter what

-Paying for dates

-Pressure of being the breadwinner

-Having to be strong and show no weakness

-Pressure of being good in sports

-Peeing

-Getting hit in the balls

-Not being able to be alone with kids

-Not being allowed to have "feminine" hobbies (Baking, sewing, etc)

-Not being able to compliment male friends without being called gay

Guys, my condolences go out to you and have a high-five/hug for making it through this world

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K.
Community Member
6 months ago

That’s why we need feminism.

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#42

Compulsory military service.

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Karin Jansen
Community Member
6 months ago

Wait, there are still countries where men have mandatory military service and women don't? Wow. Just wow. That makes no sense.

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#43

The fact that anytime you talk to a girl by yourself everybody thinks you're trying to flirt with her.

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Full Name
Community Member
6 months ago

Can I upvote this 400 times?

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#44

Honestly, probably people just assuming that you’ll do all of the gross s**t that no one else wants to do.

Fixing up the car? Unclogging the toilet? Cleaning out the spider webs in the attic? Scrubbing the mildew out of the bathtub? Guys are just expected to do it all without complaint because that’s the “manly” thing to do. As a woman, I find it pretty unfair.

(Alongside that are hiding a boner, people assuming that you can’t have mental illnesses/disorders, not being allowed to cry/show emotions/be insecure about your body. All of it is really unfair, I’m sorry guys.)

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Francesca Annoni
Community Member
6 months ago

In my house it's me fixing faucet..broken shelves.. checking the bills and all the small repairs of the house..my husband love to cook and take care of kids each one does what loves more ..but we are an exception..

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#45

My brother was allowed to do a lot of things I wasn't, like explore the train tunnels and go hunting. I once envied that, but now I see it differently: men aren't protected. From abusive women, from sexual assault, from dangerous jobs, from military service, from having custody of children taken from them, etc.

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BusLady
Community Member
6 months ago

My mom raised 4 "Tomboys." My sisters and I climbed trees, etc. But I thought my brother and my boy cousin had way better toys.

#46

You're the ones who have to kill the big hairy spider

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Fish Boden
Community Member
6 months ago

Don't kill the fucking spider! ugg, leave the spider Alone. And I call bullshit anyway, women can kill spiders too (but seriously, don't do that).

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#47

Relationships. Getting a date with a woman, finding a SO, or even just hooking up with a woman. It all seems like bulls**t for men.Men are expected to initiate the conversation most of the time. And yet...I've known women who will accept dates with men they have 0 interest in just to get a free meal out of it. I've known women who want men to approach them, but if the man is unattractive to her she calls them creepy or mocks them for it. Sure, not all women are like this...but you know what happens when I approach a man who isn't interested in me? He says "No, thank you."I could easily get a one night stand if I wanted to. Yeah. If people know about it I might be called demeaning things or people trying to shame me for it. But I just think about a time a man approaches a woman in an elevator, gets turns down, and the next day there are news articles about how men shouldn't make women uncomfortable and that conferences need to make an effort to make "safe spaces" for women.Men are shamed for their sexuality and no one gives a f**k. A man who is unhappy in a relationship because he doesn't get to have sex as often as he would like gets to hear how "NO ONE OWES YOU SEX!" up and down. He's seen as a piece of s**t for even considering leaving the relationship for it. But if I am unhappy in a relationship for any reason? People will happily back me or take my side...including if it is about sex. While there are people who will shame women and their sexuality, there are just as many people who will try to empower women for being sexual. Men? Nah. You're all pigs, potential rapists, creeps, and predators.The Double Standard with Parenthood. This is going into the "SO" route and relates to hook-ups. A woman gets pregnant and doesn't want to have a baby, she can get an abortion, she can give the child up for adoption, and in some states she can do the adoption route or even abandonment without the man's permission! And a woman who gets an abortion or adoption...well, "Her body her choice!" But what about the man? A woman gets pregnant and he doesn't want to have the baby...he's a deadbeat. If she keeps the baby, your money is tied to her and the child for years and you're a deadbeat for even considering anything different. Not only that but, "If a man doesn't want to support a kid then don't have sex!" is often said in discussions about this even though the same f**king line is used against women by pro-lifers! It's a gross double standard and a dangerous one making sex and relationships more tricky for men. It doesn't help that women have a huge variety of contraceptive options available to them and men only have one that isn't permanent.Marriage is tricky for men. With how easy it is for a woman to leave a marriage and claim a bunch of assets, sometimes get alimony, and take the children...why are men risking marriage? Yes, not every marriage is so clear-cut and sometimes the woman is making sacrifices herself which could make it difficult for her to get back onto her feet after a divorce, but come on. Women aren't helpless delicate flowers anymore. Women aren't solely reliant on their husbands and will be devastated after a divorce...at least not in the United States. And I acknowledge this as someone who is married to a man.Lack of support for those who end up in abusive relationships. Abuse can come from either sex. Men can be raped and abused too. But there are so few options out there for men who need help in addition to people often saying or joking about how he probably deserved it or that he's being weak.ETA; Since apparently I need to make it clear: Yes. I am female. I was born female. I'm not a trans woman even though I have commented in trans subreddits. It's weird to me that some of you find it hard to believe that a woman could be behind this response, but hey. Now you know why I use "AssumeImNot." Though...having people assuming I'm a trans woman is a new one for me!

AssumeImNot Report

Helen Haley
Community Member
6 months ago

Women are people, some women are jerks.

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#48

There are a lot of things guys get worse than girls.

- Like, as a woman, i can be a stay at home wife and do whatever i want, and no one will bat an eye or think i'm a loser. Men cant do this. Maybe there are some out there, but i've never heard of a man being a stay at home husband. They would be ridiculed and probably no woman would put up with this.

- Male chauvinism. It affects men too. There are a lot of people who still mock men for crying, wearing pink, or for the way they treat woman, and dont get me started if you, as a men, want to wear some make up to hide some imperfections. Its like its expected for men to be tough and manly always.

- Men are put under soo much more pressure than women. In work, in life, in everything.

- Mental health is also a taboo for men apparently.

- Dating is really hard. We as women want equality in everything, but there are still a lot of women out there unwilling to give the first step and ask a guy out. They are supposed to ask us out, and put themselves out there for humilliation and rejection (i know some people are cruel when rejecting), and women dont endure this as often as men.

- Random boners. I can be horny as f**k and no one would know (except i tend to bite my lips and my eyes get a bit more narrow when i am), but men have boners even when they're not thinking about something sexual.

LadyGrinningLisbeth Report

Colin L
Community Member
6 months ago

This is why we need feminism, not just because the genders need to be considered equal (legally, financially, socially) but so we can *all* get rid of toxic gender stereotypes.

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#49

Double standards

Apple-Core22 Report

Biljana Malesevic
Community Member
6 months ago

There are double standards for both genders.

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#50

No one would bat an eye if you said you were sexual assaulted or harassed.

If you were a male, and you were a victim of sexual harassment or you were a victim of sexual assault and you went to go tell someone what happened to you, chances are that you will be ignored because society stereotypes think you’re just lying and ALL males like being touched.

ShadowJDarkus Report

Colin L
Community Member
6 months ago

"Was she pretty?" What a contemptible double standard.

#51

Expectation from society to get a good job with good salary. A woman can getaway with being a housewife without being looked down, unlike househusband!

BabyonmyBack Report

Liam Walsh
Community Member
6 months ago

People keep saying that but it's not always true - I know a few people (who are NOT friends) who look down on stay at home mothers. I also know a couple of stay at home fathers who aren't mocked at all (the people who look down on the mothers don't know them and I don't care what they think so haven't asked!).

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#52

As a man who gets divorced and files to have custody of children, 99.999% of the time the judge will rule in favor of the mother because it's generally regarded that children "should be with their mother". That's got to be really tough...

treetoptangerine Report

CbusResident
Community Member
6 months ago

And imagine, having to make child support payments to one's baby mama, in the cases where you know the baby mama spends a bunch of money on liquor, drugs and other bs.

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#53

Being falsely accused of sexual assault, yes it happens to woman but is not taken as seriously and more so happens to men.

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Shart
Community Member
6 months ago

I wouldnt say rare..there are women that use this..hell its a common practice in divorce cases

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#54

I’d be expected to be friendly with my coworkers. I work in an industry that is incredibly male-dominated, and “worse,” the majority of the men in it have conventionally “masculine” interests like sports and hunting. I have one male coworker who, like me, is a nerd and has no interest in any of that. He actually gets a hard time for it on occasion, while no one bothers with me.

It’s really easy to make colleagues think you’re a nice, sociable person as a woman. Say good morning, smile when you pass in the hall, say “uh huh” when they talk. Don’t actually have to go out of your way to connect.

The predatory stuff that a lot of people are talking about in this thread is something I already have a partial understanding of; I’m a lesbian and the “predatory lesbian” stereotype is still a thing in the minds of a lot of not-very-open-minded people. I’m not particularly butch, though, so strangers wouldn’t get that impression from me the way they do from men.

So continuing with the theme of LGBT issues, I think gay men are more of a public target than gay women. Gay women obviously do get attacked, like that event on that bus in London, but it feels easier to hide that part of yourself if you feel unsafe as a woman. There’s all these rules men have in order to not appear “too gay,” while if a woman is less than conventionally feminine, the first impression is usually not going to be “lesbian.”

hypo-osmotic Report

#55

Awkward boners in my teens and then squishy willie syndrome as I get older and ED becomes a real threat.

so much revolves around the peen. I would be very insecure about it. As a girl, if you don't like your tits or ass, you can easily fake bigger ones. Guys don't get that option.

Also, not being able to hide behind 3 inches of makeup as some girls like to do... or I should say as teenage me liked to do, lol.

deckpumps_n_deldos Report

Helen Haley
Community Member
6 months ago

I find it sad that men can't use makeup. I think they'd get into it and enjoy it if it weren't taboo.

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#56

Someone lying and claiming rape. Having my whole life f**ked up until/if it's proven false.

Cherryapplefox Report

Shart
Community Member
6 months ago

Yep...and if you cant post bond your ass will sit in jail for like 2 yrs until you can even have a trial...just on an accusation alone

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#57

-can't acceptably use makeup to hide your ugly

-weird expectations from women (tall, ripped, etc)

-having to shave your face.

dangerstar19 Report

Colin L
Community Member
6 months ago

Male beauty standards can be rough... some guys are just hairy. It goes waaaaay beyond face shaving. I couldn't go to a public beach without some insensitive doucheknuckle refereing to me as a gorilla, werewolf, or bear. (And I won't have to tell women how expensive/weird/painful hair removal treatments are).

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#58

Not "manspreading"

Just be comfortable my dudes, I dont mind

alonexandxsarcastic Report

Biljana Malesevic
Community Member
6 months ago

Not when the bus is full. That's just rude. I had men literally claiming three seats with their legs. Not ok.

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#59

Shaving every morning ! I can’t imagine doing that. Honestly I’d prefer having my period every month lmao ! If I mess up the shave my face will be busted and it seems painful and itchy when it grows back too.

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Orillion
Community Member
6 months ago

Why do you think so many men grow beards nowadays?

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