“Why Do Men Do This”: 30 Women Share Their “Insecure Men” Horror Stories
Even though most of us have at least some insecurities, we have to do our best to not let them control us. If we lose that control, we can end up harming not only ourselves but also our loved ones—emotionally and mentally.
Unfortunately, some people let their insecurities spiral and lash out at their romantic partners. Internet users opened up about their ‘insecure men horror stories’ on r/AskWomen, and their tales show just how bad things can get when jealousy and fear run rampant.
When you’re done reading them all, dear Pandas, let us know in the comments if you’ve ever had to deal with a partner who was insecure to this extent. If you’ve got any tips on dealing with toxic relationships, be sure to share them, too.
Bored Panda reached out to dating expert Dan Bacon, the founder of The Modern Man, for a chat about the impact that insecurities have on relationships. "Deep-seated insecurities result in a person behaving in ways they don’t really want to, but can’t seem to stop themselves from doing. For example: Being overly jealous, clingy, and needy due to having an insecurity about being cheated on or dumped," he explained to us.
Dan said that, alternatively, insecurities can manifest in the person being emotionally distant and pushing their partner away. They might also be "afraid to truly fall in love, due to having an insecurity of being cheated on or dumped." He said: "Whether the person clings or pushes away, the result is the same; the relationship eventually ends in a breakup." Scroll down for the full interview about how to control these insecurities.
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Was in the process of divorcing my husband. He happened to be in the room when I got a phone call with a job offer. I told him the salary, which wasn't glamorous but was a good $12K-$17K more than he'd ever made within any year in the marriage, plus Cadillac benefits (none of his jobs had ever carried benefits).
What he should have said: "Congratulations!"
What he actually said: "Well I'm gonna be making TWICE THAT MUCH!"
His bad, commission-only job with no benefits definitely was not about to start paying twice as much as my new salary.
He came to divorce court bragging that he makes twice my salary. So the judge set his child support payments really high based on his fictitious self-proclaimed earnings.
Dan, the founder of The Modern Man project, told Bored Panda that the healthiest relationships are the ones where both partners are "brave enough to fully love and trust the other person." Or, as he put it in a more visual way, "It’s basically like going ‘all in’ in a poker game, jumping in the deep end of a pool, or taking a leap of faith and not looking back." In short, it's giving your partner 100%.
The dating expert noted that the person might still get hurt if the relationship doesn't work out, however, he advises that it's still better to take the risk and love and trust fully. It's a better alternative than getting dumped or having a "miserable relationship" because the individual isn't able to love or trust their partner.
Bored Panda wanted to know whether a relationship where one partner is insecure can flourish or if it's doomed to fail. In Dan's opinion, there's no chance of it flourishing. "It will either last and be an unhappy relationship or end with a breakup or cheating and then a breakup at some point," he said.
My former spouse didn't like me "reading books and getting ideas"
I wasn’t allowed to talk to guys. Ever. Even at work. Even if they were my boss or a coworker. He even had his dad come over to my house, unbeknownst to me, to let me know how unladylike my behavior was... for talking to coworkers...at work...about work...
According to the dating expert, the keys to controlling one's insecurities are having confidence in oneself and not seeing other men as competition.
"A man needs to know how to attract a woman on purpose during interactions, rather than just fumbling his way through interactions with women. When a man knows how to attract a woman during an interaction, does it and sees that it works, he then feels more confident about his attractiveness to her and his ability to attract her in future interactions," he said. "Once a man knows how to attract a woman during interactions, he then needs to stop seeing other men as competition."
Oh my god where do I start? the most insecure, abusive man. To list a (very) small amt of incidents:
Not allowed to see family/friends because there could be “guys” there
Tried to go to my best friends birthday party, little did I know he went upstairs and called his ENTIRE psychotic family to come pull their cars in behind mine and block me there so I couldn’t leave?! Lasted for HOURS before he let me go and made me turn on location services so I could only go home and not to the party.
Bought new shampoo that was I guess very fragrant (I couldn’t smell it myself), told me I’m a wh**e and only did it to “show off for dudes”???
We both lived on the same long dead end rd. So anytime I went anywhere he would se my car. If we weren’t together he was constantly watching the window to make sure I didn’t go anywhere without him
When I finally left him, he tried to bust down my (my parents house) door to get in. It took me and my grandmother to keep the door from busting in and we had to call the police
4 years, 2 babies, and a fiancé later and he STILL tries to contact me via fake social media acts.
YES I know I should’ve gotten out. YES I know I should’ve contacted police sooner. I was young, only 17, and I was scared of him AND his family.
Ugh, this is the sort of story that usually continues with the host saying "...and then, on the 13th of August, Clarissa suddenly went missing. Her family filed a missing persons report, but it wasn't until six weeks later that some duck hunters found her body dumped in a nearby forest."
Dated a guy casually/non-exclusively for about three weeks. One day we were talking out front of my house and I noticed my canoe--lying on its side under some stairs--had gotten blown backwards and rainwater had collected. Not wanting to breed mosquitoes, I stepped over and pushed the canoe back to its proper lean.
He. Came. Unglued.
Stomped over yelling about how I should have asked him to do it, got up under the stairs (just why?) still yelling, then stood up, hitting his head pretty hard. Threw a big toddler tantrum. Was bizarre and frankly scary.
Clearly I'd insulted his manhood by doing something to my own canoe that literally took one hand to push over. Not even talking hefting a 50-pound bag of cement or something (which would have been okay, too).
I stayed calm in the moment. Bid him goodbye (he'd been about to leave, anyway). Broke it off via text that evening, which of course made him furious. Big bullet dodged.
God forbid you actually move on your own, imagine the damage to his masculinity
My Ex hated when I spent time with my family. Threatened to divorce me the day of my fathers funeral because things were not going his way that day. He screamed it at me in front of our two young sons. Dude, I just lost my anchor in life and all you can think about is yourself.? Glad he's my Ex.
Dan, the founder of The Modern Man, suggested that when a man starts worrying about another man being more attractive than he is in his partner's eyes, that is "the moment she feels more attracted to the other guy."
He explained: "This is because women naturally feel attracted to the more confident man. No matter who the other man is, you always need to know that you are attractive and no other guy compares to you. In reality, another guy might be more attractive than you, but that’s not the point. A woman wants to see that you believe in yourself and don’t feel inferior to other men."
Threw a tantrum when I started pondering going to grad school because he couldn't be with a woman with more education. The amount of contempt I developed for him during that despicable display of insecurity cannot be described. But, we're the weak ones, umm k.
I had an ex who was pissed at me at a Bath & Body Works because I wanted to get a musky, cologne scented candle. His stance was that it was basically cheating because it ‘smelled like a man.’ And yes, he was serious.
First time in my life I heard that a man could be threatened by a candle actually being more masculine than him.
He dumped me because he believed I had slept with 2 more people than him (I hadn’t told him my real number in the first place, it’s no one else’s business, but it was actually a lot higher than 2 more). He stewed on it for 3 years before dumping me because he felt like less of a man - he’s the man so his number should have been higher. He asked me back out six months later because he had slept with 3 people, making his number higher than mine and making me acceptable to date again.
What he failed to realise is that I wasn’t celibate for that six months. His additional 3 didn’t even cover my original, true number, never mind cover the additional people I slept with in that six months. Idiot. A man asking me that question now is a huge red flag and I don’t entertain men like that. I back out immediately.
What a loser. It's really none of anybody's business how many people you have slept with. It's not a competition. That bloke is an idiot.
And - just the thought. Wouldn't more be better - more knowlege - more experience - maybe better sex for the new partner.
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I have no idea why people always ask for their "body count", and then feel unhappy when they get told. My partner was a young man growing up in the 80s in the UK; I know he wasn't a monk, and I don't really care how many women he's been with in the past. All I do care about is how many women he's been with since we've been together: Only me.
My D is bigger and Im decent looking as well as tall. I dont need a body count
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I'd rather not know how many people my partner has slept with. Plus quality over quantity right
Number doesn't matter. Only thing that matters is that you get tested for STDs between partners. I've never started new relationship without exchanging papers of test results.
Its really weird - this obsession with how many people you have slept with. My husband and I have never had this conversation. Its irrelevant.
Right?! My late husband and I were married for almost 44 years when he died, and neither one of us were virgins when we married at 22; we never had that conversation either. Why? What purpose does it serve? When people have this conversation, do they give, or demand, details? I'm asking seriously; I'm curious as to how it goes.
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I taste a subtle hint of her bragging about her body count too, all covered in a my-ex-is-a-red-flag-for-asking-flavour. Both losers.
She purposely told him a lower number.
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But also... It IS no one's business so why are you bragging about your "win" publicly?
I remember counting partners when I was very young, which is normal, but eventually, counting is pointless and immature. Why count? Who cares? Let it go, its Irrelevant and doesn't matter. (Unless, of course, STDs enter the picture.)
Sexist double standard right here. It's fine for him to sleep around and possibly father as many unwanted babies as his jealous little heart desires, but s**t forbid that she sleep with anyone else.
If I'm dating someone I don't see any issue with asking about their body count later in the relationship. I honestly think its wierd if you don't wanna say anything...you did it, so no reason to act ashamed. The strange part isn't that he asked, its that he thought it was a competition.
The question is what sane adult will keep score? It doesn't matter. For me, the red flag is someone who cares about other people's numbers, but also someone that keeps count and can give an exact number unless is a very low number, of course.
Load More Replies... I got in an argument with another book club member because the husband in the story found out that his wife had slept with one guy before they even met and he had been a virgin when they got married. My take was she chose the guy who she married - who cares what happened before they got married. The guy that I was arguing with said that I just didn't understand because the husband would always compare himself to the wife's ex. SMH
History is history. If someone wants to be in your future, he shouldn't get so hung up on it.
Or make up a number well into triple digits to ensure full detonation
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I never understood people who ask such question just to get all up in their insecurities and feelings over the answer. Who cares? As a gay man. I've had potentials act like they are in competition with everyone on who slept around the most...I frankly give ZERO funks over who slept witg who and how many, only people with some serious sexual hangups and issues would even ask such nonsense..
If you use condoms always and properly, it doesn't matter the number of partners, one or two tests a year are enough. If you don't use condoms you should get tested more often, even if you have sex with only one person.
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I get the feeling that this is about a younger couple. I remember having these type of conversations when I was younger (and it never ended well). Never had the discussion with my current partner (husband). We joke about tinder-dates etc from time to time and bad sexual experiences but it isn't a touchy subject at all. When you get a bit older it's not so much a surprise that you've slept with other people and it doesn't matter.
Maybe that's why I cannot fathom his major issue with the whole thing; I'm probably older than he is, maybe even his parents, so maybe that's why I just don't get it! And it definitely falls under the category of " don't ask if you can't handle the answer".
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Hahahahahahahaha...... Sorry that's all I got for this. Still laughing actually.
Best to give them the accurate number right upfront because it allows you to separate the wheat from the chaff.
I fail to see how simply asking is a red flag. I mean, obviously complaining and being a huge douche about it is, but not simply asking. And being able to be honest with a potential future spouse is important. Partly for disease, but largely for compatibility. My wife, before we married, said she was a Virgin. After we married, she came clean that she'd had 2 prior lovers. there's what I call the "time to settle down" factor. I only sleep with people I see a serious future with. But she had her young and wild days. Which unfortunately means that while I'm hypersexual, she's far less interested in sex as a whole. Which means that while I could go like a rabbit, due to her lack of interest, we haven't had sex in 2 years. We've been married for 4. And in those first 2 years? 6 times. And sorry if I seem insecure. I'm really not. ADHD makes it hard to control focus. And its actually been linked to hypersexuality.
Huh? Two prior lovers doesnt equal "young and wild days" or that she's had enough sex to last a lifetime. Sex doesnt work like that and thats why its insane to go by how many people you've slept with prior to your current relationship. Every new relationship is a new dynamic and you could want to have more or less sex, much depending on the person/the sex itself. It is completely separate from your past (unless there is some trauma in the picture).
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Next time your asked that question tell the guy your number is higher in women then men,they will either be confused or excited their choice lol
What a ridiculous thing to even have anything more than a lighthearted conversation about! If this is really that important and meaningful to him, I can only imagine how many other issues that could surface later! It's indicative of something, but I'm not quite sure that it's merely immaturity; I'm actually surprised that he doesn't have any other major issues that disqualified him as dating material before now. Very strange guy! Or is this more common than I know?
Good for you! If you had stayed he would have destroyed, or at least heavily damaged you. Less of a man? This guy never made it to manhood in the first place. He is just a large child who happens to have a p-----. He needs a reality check. Real manhood lies in having the courage to shoulder your responsibilities to yourself and others, and being an ADULT. I feel sorry for him. His thinking is so skewed it guarantees that he will never be a real man because he doesn't even know what that is. He will always feel inadequate.
I find your comment correct and insightful; his issue is more than just a small case of insecurity; it's going to affect every relationship he ever has, and I predict a lifetime of over thinking meaningless stuff that will eventually destroy a relationship, unless he meets someone who is terminally childish as well, and maybe they can have a happy but tumultuous time together; some people are actually more comfortable in that atmosphere.
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I am certainly relieved to not be able to understand that guys beliefs.
This is even weirder if you extend the logic. M/F ratio isnt exactly 50/50 but it's close and obviously sticking with heterosexual here...but when the popular perception is that men sleep around a lot more, doesn't basic math suggest one or both sexes may, on average, be fudging those numbers?
I have never asked a woman I was dating how many men she has slept with before me. I really don;'t care.
i slept with approx 5 times more people than my now BF. He doesn't give a s**t, like it should be.
I've been with my husband for 10 years and we have never asked / shared our numbers. It doesn't matter. I crack jokes that my count is a lot, and so does he, and we rib each other over it for a laugh. But we have an unspoken agreement that we don't share the number.
Wow, she gets around. But yeah, none of his business. As long as she doesn't cheat, it doesn't matter how many people she slept with when not in a relationship with him.
Pfffftt...l would have told him the real number and then told him he was THE worst lover of them all!
Men should be grateful that you went through a bunch and chose him out of them all. You are great in bed, know what you're doing and not likely to be surprised or get all freaked out over stuff. Guys are into the numbers game. Even if they have no clue whether anyone but the locker room sexual education of our young men never learns that numbers don't mean crap if you don't learn anything along the way. Good riddance to this insecure guy. These stupid games only get worse. It's a pointless and endless litany of what you did to him.
I had that conversation with a girl not too long ago. Mind, neither one of us asked outright, but it did come up in conversation a month or so after we met. Unsure of the exact details. But the conversation went something like this. Me: How many guys have you been with? Her: Around 90. Me: Well, that beats me by around 20, well done. And then the conversation drifted off to some other topic. Don't forget boys and girls practice makes perfect.
So you say neither one of you asked outright, then follow up by saying you literally asked her how many guys have you been with? Do you not see you just lied?
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People who sleep around: are you trying to catch an std or do you not have enough money for therapy?
Bragging about sleeping with a bunch of guys? Pretty sad. And every man knows women lie about body count
i'm a woman and my body count is zero, which is not a lie. how about you quit being a douche and give women a reason NOT to lie to you?
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Honestly, if my wife had asked me about "the number" we wouldn’t be married right now. I didn't even know this was a thing until I started reading stories like this. If anything, I always tried to stay away from inexperienced partners, but counting people I slept with? On what planet?
So you're grossed out by sex? 3 is the max? I'm really trying to understand what you're saying here. There are ways to make sure the people you sleep with don't have STDs. So what's the reason you find it gross exactly?
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John, put down the bible and stop being an insufferable prick.
Load More Replies...During a previous in-depth interview, Bored Panda spoke about insecurities with British psychotherapist Silva Neves. He said that the goal is for people who are insecure (i.e. they have an ‘I’m not enough’ mentality) to become secure and confident (having an ‘I’m enough’ way of thinking). Self-compassion is a powerful tool in helping this shift happen.
"Insecurity carries the message: 'I'm not enough', 'I'm not good enough,' or even 'I'm worthless.' These are painful beliefs to have about ourselves but many do have those underlying beliefs," the mental health expert shared with us.
Reader's Digest had these monthly quizzes called It Pays To Increase Your Word Power. It was twenty words with 3 or 4 multiple choice options. I got 1 more word correct than my ex-fiance one month and 2 more correct than he on another month. Both times he berated me for beating him and gave these really dumb excuses for why I gotten a better score. One time he refused to speak to me for the rest of the night.
When I found myself deliberately getting one or two words wrong in order to preserve his fragile ego I realised that wasn't healthy for either of us and broke up.
My ex and I met at a summer job, when he was in a transition because he was leaving a college he couldn't afford (I never shamed him for dropping, I was actually kind of jealous because I had a horrible time in college). He did not get a job and sat around gaming and eating all day. Needless to say, he gained weight. He always blamed his weight and unemployment on his environment and lack of family support to go places, so I moved him to be with me.
Instead of getting a job and getting active, he proceeded to break me down over several years, pushing me to eat more and dress in oversized clothes that hid my figure. I couldn't acknowledge that I made all the money or it was a fight, I would transfer what little money was left after bills to a joint account so he could swipe his own debit card when we went out. When a gym opened down the street, he got me to buy us memberships but I had to beg and drag him there, where I was not allowed to work out longer/harder than him.
The stress of the relationship ironically had me loosing weight towards the end, and this dude would stand us next to each other in the mirror and tell me how I needed to do exercises to get my ass bigger, and that my belly poked out. Meanwhile his gigantic gut was just hanging out. I didn't care that he had extra weight, I actually prefer guys who aren't super skinny. But in hindsight, he was convinced that anything that made me look good, made him look bad. But in the times when he actually had the means to change things, he never actually did it. So instead, he broke down my confidence until I felt like the smallest, ugliest person in the world.
I am so glad I left that relationship, I am now with someone who supports me and thinks I'm the greatest most attractive person ever. He works toward his own self-improvement, and celebrates all of my victories with me.
My ex asked me my body count after talking to him online for 2 months. Mind you we didn’t even see each other in person yet since we lived in different countries. He heard the number and immediately got disappointed and said his dream wife wouldn’t have that many bodies. I was like okay go wank off to the idea of your virgin dream wife then.
"Insecurity can manifest either by making themselves invisible (If I'm not seen, nobody will notice my flaws), or the opposite, by what we call 'bragging': shouting at everybody about how wonderful they are. This is usually to try to persuade themselves that they are good enough,” the expert noted that different people have different ways of manifesting their insecurities. Unfortunately, some choose to lash out at others to feel better about themselves.
"Another way to counter the 'I'm not enough' is by pushing others down, sabotaging other people's success, or attacking people as a way to feel powerful so that they can control their inner pain of 'I'm not enough'. All of these strategies don't work because what they do is either internalize or externalize the belief 'I'm not enough' rather than changing it," he said.
While at Walmart once a guy came up to me and asked for my number and I word for word said “I’m sorry I have a boyfriend!” And that was it the guy walked away. I go home to my now exes house and told him about the exchange because I thought it was funny and ended up getting screamed at for hours because I “apologized” and made it seem like i didn’t want a boyfriend and i was sorry for having a boyfriend. Made absolutely not sense. We did not last much longer.
I drew a picture of a flower on a bar napkin and gave it to my then-boyfriend, and he glared at me and said “when you do stuff like this it makes me feel so small”
"But if you keep your last name, my friends will think I'm whipped," he whined, very masculinely.
According to the psychotherapist, self-compassion paves the way to becoming more secure in who we are. Usually, insecurities are learned in childhood. Over time, they become deeply rooted in who we are. However, as we grow and mature, we also become more capable of changing these underlying beliefs.
"Perhaps parents didn't praise children enough, or they paid more attention to the mistakes rather than the successes. As an adult now, people can give themselves a hug once in a while and tell themselves, gently: 'you're doing good,' 'well done,' 'congratulations.' Eventually, the brain will listen and slowly change the message 'I'm not enough' to 'I'm enough,'" he said that, over time, we can all change and be more confident in who we are, as we are now.
"Rather than shouting your praise at other people, it is about speaking to yourself in a loving way. When people are genuinely aware of their successes, they can become genuinely more confident without the need to impose their power onto others."
Lived with some friends temporarily while I was at uni, and two guys lived there. We all got on very well and became fast friends. One night while one of them was telling an emotional story from his childhood, I reached over and held his hand.
What I didn’t know is the other guy had a crush on me, and in the middle of the night when I woke up to get some water, he cornered me in the kitchen, red in the face and trembling with rage and questioned me about my non existent “feelings” towards the other housemate and asked me “to think about what [I’d] done”. All because I held someone’s hand lol
Today is my late mothers birthday so this question is very timely.
I got married very young and my mother died of cancer shortly before our one year anniversary (I was 19 going on 20).
My now ex husband stated that I chose my mother over him since I spent so much time with her while she was dying. He also would get upset with me for grieving and crying in the year after she died.
How about the opposite? My friend’s mother died and her bf called her heartless whore for not being in constant tears throughout the funeral. She literally hadn’t processed it yet, being preoccupied with her gaslighting wanker of a partner. He spent the entire funeral suggesting we have an affair, too. In front of her. And it still took her five years to get rid of him.
I was dating a guy for about a month when this particular incident happened. We worked in similar-ish fields (paramedic and police officer) and that's how we met. It's also important to note that my paramedic partner was a man. We were set to go on a date one Friday but I cancelled due to a nasty migraine. My partner brought me medicine (being a long time paramedic he had a good idea of what would help) and shortly after he left I got a text from the guy asking why another man had come to my apartment. Apparently he had been sitting outside my apartment all day to make sure I didn't go anywhere or see anyone else. He had met my partner before so he knew what he looked like. And my partner was only over long enough to drop off some medicine and feed my dog. We didn't last long after that.
High school boyfriend who got mad that I spent time with my family dog. I adore dogs. Broke up with him. Next boyfriend sent me pictures of himself posing with his family dogs or just of his family dogs, obviously we were much more alike in that regard!
How can you get mad at someone spending time with a DOG? I can see why you could be a little jealous when it's a human friend, but a dog?
I had a guy justify needing my phone password because he was cheated on. I broke up with him that day.
I have nothing hide but I have nothing to show you either. People who engage in this behaviour aren't people I can have in my life. I'm a therapist and that's the biggest red flag I see in client. Now there's exception obviously like if you share a. Disabled child or whatever. But this being the norm isn't healthy.
Why would sharing a disabled child mean that my partner is allowed to know all my phone passwords and snoop around on me?
My ex, I was a freshman in college, got mad at me at a barbecue. He looked very angrily the whole time I was talking to people. I was later informed I was too friendly and grinning in mens faces. Literally screaming at me in the car he almost wrecked it.
I was the host, btw.
My ex broke up with me because my shoes were too bright a color (they were neon orange sneakers) and they would attract too much attention from other men..
If only it was as simple as wearing neon orange sneakers to attract the interest of men.
Dated a guy who would make fun of me for having rolls on my stomach (thanks) and then maybe 1-2 years after we broke up, we had talked to each other as he still owed me like $2000 that he made excuses for why he couldn't pay. He asked me what I do for a living and I proceed to tell him I got a job at a gaming company and he drops "you were just hired because you are a woman" to which I kindly told him to buzz off and that I was selected in the end out of like hundreds of people and it had nothing to do with my gender. Jealous and insecure men always find a way to invalidate your success.
Chatting with my kid today about the post with the woman who was being lectured by a guy about how wrong she was, how 'Zeus only had one son, Hercules'. The woman was a Greek mythology graduate of some kind, and the guy was clearly basing his knowledge of Disney's Hercules (btw I studied Greek mythology so natter about that, amongst other topics, with my kid). Anyway, I said to him "Sometimes that's just the way, there are people who will believe they know better than someone who has studied a subject, or feel intimidated by their knowledge and argue with them". Pause "Although it happens to all groups, there are some that are more targeted than others." Kid: "Women?" Me: "Yep. Other groups too, basically anyone who already has prejudices held against them for things they do not choose" [NB I studied anth too so talk about that a lot with him]
I have a few ! Me and my ex were going to see my gay best friend for some drinks , as I was getting ready I put some red lipstick on and he angrily asked “are you wearing this for .. insert my friends name ! We were only dating for 2 months and as I was getting ready to break up with him after few toxic situations, we went to my friends bday party , I wore a skirt (kinda just to piss him off, he was really controlling and hated me wearing skirts) and after couple of hours of dancing around my friends place he stormed out saying that I am showing my pants to everyone and he is done with me ha! He was crazy!
I once gave a previous boyfriend some crackers and pepper jelly that I made as a snack, he had never had it before and thought I was delicious. Since he seemed to like it a lot, the next time I saw him I brought a jar of the jelly for him to take home....Well he did not like that, started yelling at me "Why would you give this to me??? I could make this by myself if I wanted to" got super angry and smashed it on the ground. It was such irrational behavior that I just wanted to laugh.
Dunno if it's just insecurity or sexism, probably a mix of both. My ex claimed he was deeply traumatized when he learned that his previous partner had a couple of one night stands before dating him, said he could never trust her again after she "confessed" to this.
Wondering if it's insecurity or sexism is like wondering if it's dark or not light.
I got yelled at because me and my friends used "big words" (not English) at a party. He was drunk and worked himself into a rage fit over weird things and this was what surfaced. His lower level of education was never a problem for me, and I didn't know it was for him until then. So bizzare.
From when I was 20 yo or so, I've always used (in Spanish) my "biggest words" with people annoying me. Most they are a nuisance, more refined is my vocabulary... Once, I even managed to recite a 17th century poem from Lope de Vega.
Didn’t like that I made more money than him.
He would get mad if I didn’t text him back in literally 3 minutes. Also saying how I didn’t post him enough on my Instagram… like what?? I’m with you should that not be enough? Lol.
I had a ‘stalker x,’ who was insanely jealous and toxic. He said I was sleeping with anyone and everyone I came in contact with, even women. So I stopped talking about people at work. He was jealous of my kids. He took my kids to school in the mornings. He went the long way to see if my car was at work. He claimed my kids was asking where my car was because they didn’t see it. After a couple of times of him saying this, I asked my kids about it. They looked at me puzzled and said he was saying that. He threatened to leave us in Cherokee, threatened to kill me if I cheated, kick us out, then turned around, seconds later, and asked why we were packing. He threatened to kill himself numerous times. That’s just to name a few things. Such a toxic man and relationship. I am married to an incredible man now. So glad there are still good men out there and I finally have one 💜💜💜
My neighbor had a stalker. It was a nightmare for her, and an ordeal for the rest of us. We tried to help him, but he was stuck. My poor neighbor. He finally moved away. He sent her a postcard from San Diego, saying that he found jesus and was happily married to a christian woman and her two daughters. That guy was bad news.
I once got home after a job interview and my ex wasn't there, a while later he phones me and says he has a puncture. I found out he had followed me to the interview and on his way he got a nail in his Tyre.
He also used to fight with me because I said he couldn't just show up at my work unless he bought something, because otherwise it looks unprofessional.
The best/worst was when he kept texting me while I was working and asking if I ever had blonde hair. Later that evening I got out the shower and saw him watching porn. Turns out he was convinced that the blonde girl giving major head was me. We looked nothing alike.
So glad that psycho is out of my life.
My boyfriend gets irritated when I mention the doctor at my job because he is a young male and doesn’t like that I mention a guy in conversation that is “more successful” than him even if it’s just in passing. Even if I just say he bought everyone at the office lunch or something like that
Note: this post originally had 80 images. It’s been shortened to the top 32 images based on user votes.
Indeed. Now let me stop complaining mines play to much I rather be playing 24/7 then any of what's happening in these post!
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Right! Do you laugh or cry about it? Both? At the same time? 😀😭😂😫😐😶
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I had to stop reading at 31st post. Some of these want me to face palm these men with a sledge hammer. Ladies please do yourself a favor and don't stick around, you deserve better and you will find someone better.
It's not always that easy! Sometimes women are stuck due to financial reasons, or because they are never allowed any opportunity to get out. Sometimes it's the threats of what will be done to them if they escape that keeps them, or the fear that the abuser might kill themselves and that somehow they would be found guilty of their death.... there are so many reasons why someone can't just leave or end an abusive relationship and it feels a little like victim blaming when someone says why did you stay, why didn't you leave, why did you let him do it...
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I hope people can learn from others' experiences. All of these things should be cause for immediately breaking up with that person. And I believe some of them are crimes in some states, like saying "I'll kill myself if you leave me."
One of my ex's would get home from work and ask if I had had visitors during the day. If I said no he would say ' well I have to believe you cos I wasn't here to see'.
Stories like these make you wonder why these women would even give these guys a second date
Insecure people with inferiority complexes are really bad. Also censoring ridicoulous words. I might quit BP (British Petroleum) for treating me as a child and changing so much lately.
I'm so greatful for the man in my life now, who is patient, kind, supportive, wants me to grow, respects my choices and can communicate. Going on 9 years now and happy. I got out of a few toxic relationships with terrible narcissistic sociopaths who pretended to be the ideal partner at first. Jealous, liars, cheaters, involved in terrible things who tried to manipulate me and make me feel guilty or gaslight if I asked questions about things I suspected. I might have made wrong choices by being with these men but, I know my worth and didn't stick around too long because I won't take that abuse nor settle for less. I hope everyone who encounters such situations recognizes those red flags on time and moves on. Life is too short to endure other people's insecurities or dangerous behavior.
Had a friend over for breakfast, my sister cooked for everyone, pancakes with fresh fruit. He was upset because when he got his plate his pancakes were already triangle sliced with warm syrup ready to devour. The issue? He was not a "little boy" or "little kid" he could cut his own food. The offense this man/child had! My sister is a mother of two young children 8 and 2, of course your food was cut, she cut ALL our food!! It wasn't a character assassination it's breakfast, eat the damn pancakes! WTF!!!
My mother dated this guy for a few years, he wasn't physical but he was super controlling and manipulative, really killed her sense of self worth. I told her multiple times to leave him and she wouldn't. I guess once he'd decided he'd gotten her how he wanted her, he tried to manipulate me on top of it. (I lived with my dad and only seen my mom on the weekends, so this guy didn't realize how in over his head he was.) He told me the fact that I didn't fight to see my them more was hurting him and my mom and I was really selfish for it. I told him I could always just stop showing at all and I didn't show for HIM I showed for her. He threatened to kill himself one day if I left and went home with my dad. I wish I'd taken a picture of the look on his face when I said "go for it. At least then I won't have to deal with you anymore." He really thought I was gonna give a s**t if the guy hurting my mom died. I eventually refused to visit her unless she left him. Eventually she did
When I was 15, I dated a guy who had graduated and gone into the military. Where he told everyone we were getting married. He'd send me little trinkets which at 15, I thought was cute. But then when he told me he had set a date for our wedding...wait, what? We had never been that serious before he left, so I was blindsided. And f*****g 15 years old. Cut off contact after that.
I’m grateful for straight women, as I wouldn’t be married to my wonderful wife otherwise, but sometimes I can’t help but wonder what the f**k you all see in guys. And yeah, I’ll include myself in that. I was embarrassingly immature until I was about 40, though never jealous and controlling. I think of my first wife, when we were in our 20s, and I just want to call back through time and say to her, “Oh, you poor thing. You can do so much better!”
ex bf: I know you'll cheat on me b/c you're so much smarter than I am. ex husband: I saw the neighbor say hi to you. Are you fu*king him?!? ex husband: I saw that man we passed in the mall look at you. How do you know him? Are you fu*king him?!? Current husband: you can take my name if you want but no one can spell or pronounce it so it's totally up to you.
My ex was awful. He wanted us to spend every moment together. And when I had made other plans, he walked away from me midsentence and blamed it on his anger. So toxic. He knew I was celibate and forced himself on me multiple times. He lied about being an American citizen. Not that I cared, but then he felt it was my responsibility to sponsor him! Huh?! You lie, r*pe, argue with random ppl, can't keep a job, and you think that I want to carry that responsibility for you for 5 seconds, let alone 5 years?! Moonwalk off of a cliff! Expeditiously!
These stories explain the historical and ongoing efforts to codify control of women's bodies into law.
I'm gettin' on in my years some now. I been on this here internet since 'afore mostuh y'alls was even a thought. And I'll be damned if my here gut ain't tellin' me least half these tall tales ain't a thing more 'an someones idear of a joke. I'd swear if people was half as stupid as the here people in these here stories we'd all be back to wipin' our backsides with sea sponges.
Deleted for personal reasons. Didnt wanna get my amazing moma in trouble with her gross, lazy, weird, tax fraud having, insecurity riddled, forceful, child beating ex. Sorries
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I was with a girl for a few years and when she found that I had a girl who was a friend she ended up throwing my dunkaccino at me and my laptop lol
It was difficult to get through all this. I am so glad I made a conscious decision to be single. The possibility of having to deal with this $**+ at any given time, I just keep to myself.
Finally Happy together again. Yes, our 4 year happy marriage is thanks to Dr.Oluwola saved. Forget expensive couple therapists, because often the behavior of the (ex) partner is literally bewitched. And only magic can help to break the evil spell. Searching the omniscient internet I found the address wonderfulwondercuretemple@gmail.com First I classified the whole thing as a humbug and kept looking. But my desperation led me back and I contacted my future lifesaver. I followed his instructions to the letter and 2 days later I got a call from my husband. He apologized, wanted to see me and explain his behavior to me. That was the day! I haven't been this excited in a long time. We met in our café, my heart pounding when I saw him sitting at the bar. Over a tequila, he explained to me that he'd felt like a different person over the weeks we'd been apart. He doesn't know what drove him away from me. Now we are happy and expecting our first child. Many thanks to Dr. Oluwola fo
What is it about assholes that attracts women? I would never do any of these things, even if I did feel jealous, yet girls/women take one look at me and shove me into the friend zone
1. Because abusive psychos tend to be good at hiding until theyve got far in enough to make it crazy hard to escape 2. The fact that you even think there is a friend zone tells all women that you are the exact sort of person we should be avoiding
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I love that no one knows what that means, sexism is strong in this country
Load More Replies... But... they did? There were posts about and from the men's perspective quite recently and evened out with these ones about women's. If you missed them, maybe you're just not interested and thus not noticing these kinds of contents?
Load More Replies...
Indeed. Now let me stop complaining mines play to much I rather be playing 24/7 then any of what's happening in these post!
Load More Replies... Right! Do you laugh or cry about it? Both? At the same time? 😀😭😂😫😐😶
Load More Replies... I had to stop reading at 31st post. Some of these want me to face palm these men with a sledge hammer. Ladies please do yourself a favor and don't stick around, you deserve better and you will find someone better.
It's not always that easy! Sometimes women are stuck due to financial reasons, or because they are never allowed any opportunity to get out. Sometimes it's the threats of what will be done to them if they escape that keeps them, or the fear that the abuser might kill themselves and that somehow they would be found guilty of their death.... there are so many reasons why someone can't just leave or end an abusive relationship and it feels a little like victim blaming when someone says why did you stay, why didn't you leave, why did you let him do it...
Load More Replies... I hope people can learn from others' experiences. All of these things should be cause for immediately breaking up with that person. And I believe some of them are crimes in some states, like saying "I'll kill myself if you leave me."
One of my ex's would get home from work and ask if I had had visitors during the day. If I said no he would say ' well I have to believe you cos I wasn't here to see'.
Stories like these make you wonder why these women would even give these guys a second date
Insecure people with inferiority complexes are really bad. Also censoring ridicoulous words. I might quit BP (British Petroleum) for treating me as a child and changing so much lately.
I'm so greatful for the man in my life now, who is patient, kind, supportive, wants me to grow, respects my choices and can communicate. Going on 9 years now and happy. I got out of a few toxic relationships with terrible narcissistic sociopaths who pretended to be the ideal partner at first. Jealous, liars, cheaters, involved in terrible things who tried to manipulate me and make me feel guilty or gaslight if I asked questions about things I suspected. I might have made wrong choices by being with these men but, I know my worth and didn't stick around too long because I won't take that abuse nor settle for less. I hope everyone who encounters such situations recognizes those red flags on time and moves on. Life is too short to endure other people's insecurities or dangerous behavior.
Had a friend over for breakfast, my sister cooked for everyone, pancakes with fresh fruit. He was upset because when he got his plate his pancakes were already triangle sliced with warm syrup ready to devour. The issue? He was not a "little boy" or "little kid" he could cut his own food. The offense this man/child had! My sister is a mother of two young children 8 and 2, of course your food was cut, she cut ALL our food!! It wasn't a character assassination it's breakfast, eat the damn pancakes! WTF!!!
My mother dated this guy for a few years, he wasn't physical but he was super controlling and manipulative, really killed her sense of self worth. I told her multiple times to leave him and she wouldn't. I guess once he'd decided he'd gotten her how he wanted her, he tried to manipulate me on top of it. (I lived with my dad and only seen my mom on the weekends, so this guy didn't realize how in over his head he was.) He told me the fact that I didn't fight to see my them more was hurting him and my mom and I was really selfish for it. I told him I could always just stop showing at all and I didn't show for HIM I showed for her. He threatened to kill himself one day if I left and went home with my dad. I wish I'd taken a picture of the look on his face when I said "go for it. At least then I won't have to deal with you anymore." He really thought I was gonna give a s**t if the guy hurting my mom died. I eventually refused to visit her unless she left him. Eventually she did
When I was 15, I dated a guy who had graduated and gone into the military. Where he told everyone we were getting married. He'd send me little trinkets which at 15, I thought was cute. But then when he told me he had set a date for our wedding...wait, what? We had never been that serious before he left, so I was blindsided. And f*****g 15 years old. Cut off contact after that.
I’m grateful for straight women, as I wouldn’t be married to my wonderful wife otherwise, but sometimes I can’t help but wonder what the f**k you all see in guys. And yeah, I’ll include myself in that. I was embarrassingly immature until I was about 40, though never jealous and controlling. I think of my first wife, when we were in our 20s, and I just want to call back through time and say to her, “Oh, you poor thing. You can do so much better!”
ex bf: I know you'll cheat on me b/c you're so much smarter than I am. ex husband: I saw the neighbor say hi to you. Are you fu*king him?!? ex husband: I saw that man we passed in the mall look at you. How do you know him? Are you fu*king him?!? Current husband: you can take my name if you want but no one can spell or pronounce it so it's totally up to you.
My ex was awful. He wanted us to spend every moment together. And when I had made other plans, he walked away from me midsentence and blamed it on his anger. So toxic. He knew I was celibate and forced himself on me multiple times. He lied about being an American citizen. Not that I cared, but then he felt it was my responsibility to sponsor him! Huh?! You lie, r*pe, argue with random ppl, can't keep a job, and you think that I want to carry that responsibility for you for 5 seconds, let alone 5 years?! Moonwalk off of a cliff! Expeditiously!
These stories explain the historical and ongoing efforts to codify control of women's bodies into law.
I'm gettin' on in my years some now. I been on this here internet since 'afore mostuh y'alls was even a thought. And I'll be damned if my here gut ain't tellin' me least half these tall tales ain't a thing more 'an someones idear of a joke. I'd swear if people was half as stupid as the here people in these here stories we'd all be back to wipin' our backsides with sea sponges.
Deleted for personal reasons. Didnt wanna get my amazing moma in trouble with her gross, lazy, weird, tax fraud having, insecurity riddled, forceful, child beating ex. Sorries
Load More Replies... I was with a girl for a few years and when she found that I had a girl who was a friend she ended up throwing my dunkaccino at me and my laptop lol
It was difficult to get through all this. I am so glad I made a conscious decision to be single. The possibility of having to deal with this $**+ at any given time, I just keep to myself.
Finally Happy together again. Yes, our 4 year happy marriage is thanks to Dr.Oluwola saved. Forget expensive couple therapists, because often the behavior of the (ex) partner is literally bewitched. And only magic can help to break the evil spell. Searching the omniscient internet I found the address wonderfulwondercuretemple@gmail.com First I classified the whole thing as a humbug and kept looking. But my desperation led me back and I contacted my future lifesaver. I followed his instructions to the letter and 2 days later I got a call from my husband. He apologized, wanted to see me and explain his behavior to me. That was the day! I haven't been this excited in a long time. We met in our café, my heart pounding when I saw him sitting at the bar. Over a tequila, he explained to me that he'd felt like a different person over the weeks we'd been apart. He doesn't know what drove him away from me. Now we are happy and expecting our first child. Many thanks to Dr. Oluwola fo
What is it about assholes that attracts women? I would never do any of these things, even if I did feel jealous, yet girls/women take one look at me and shove me into the friend zone
1. Because abusive psychos tend to be good at hiding until theyve got far in enough to make it crazy hard to escape 2. The fact that you even think there is a friend zone tells all women that you are the exact sort of person we should be avoiding
Load More Replies... I love that no one knows what that means, sexism is strong in this country
Load More Replies... But... they did? There were posts about and from the men's perspective quite recently and evened out with these ones about women's. If you missed them, maybe you're just not interested and thus not noticing these kinds of contents?
Load More Replies...