Sometimes, the things that you think are completely all right to say and do are far from okay. In fact, they might be so deep in creepy territory, it’s making people feel uncomfortable and even threatened.

A viral thread by redditor SuperElectronicGray inspired women to open up about all the things that men do that they think is perfectly fine but are actually very creepy. Most of these things are a symptom of toxic masculinity where men follow a very narrow, predetermined set of instructions about how males are “supposed to” behave. And it’s not good for anyone.

Have a read through the uncomfortable situations with men that these redditors have been through and be sure to check out Bored Panda’s interview with a psychotherapist about the potential dangers of toxic masculinity to society and to men themselves.

#1

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying Flirting with me in a position where I can't leave, like an Uber or taxi. Once I had an Uber driver flirt with me the entire ride late on a Friday night. I tried to stop responding, but he kept telling me how beautiful I am. Most times, when women aren't interested and you keep pushing it, we get scared we're gonna get assaulted or killed! It's terrifying.

Armacdonald94 , jaғar ѕнaмeeм Report

Marc
Community Member
2 months ago

The problem with such behavior is that it destroys the sense of security in the long run. Such spaces, like an Uber, should ideally be a safe space where women don't have to worry about getting into danger. That's certainly a bit naive, since anyone who has a car and can operate an app can now become a cab driver, but that doesn't change the fact that such behavior by mostly men towards women is extremely destructive.

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#2

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying Taking common politeness as romantic interest

It_Is_Me_The_E , sbk202 Report

Mike Crow
Community Member
2 months ago

Took me a while to understand this. When I was a young man no one talked to me so if a girl did I thought she liked me. Then I went too far the other way and a couple girls actually did like me and were flirting but I thought they were being polite.

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#3

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying That hassling you for a date because you don't have a bf is not okay.

'But you don't have a bf...'

The point is dude, I'd rather be single than date you. Take the bloody hint.

ukhoneybee , Teresa Nobre Report

Abhinc
Community Member
2 months ago

that picture reminds me a funny story !! i was walking with my wife. there was a woman with her dog not so far in front of us walking in the same direction. the dog turned his head and looked at me. so i whistled to call him. i love animals and feel like i have to pet every single one i meet. the woman turned immediately and started insulting me. 10 seconds later when she realized i was on my knees petting the dog she started laughing and apologizing and my wife too ... i was focusing so much on the dog i hadn't even realized what happened. but we had a good laugh and a short but sweet conversation.

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Psychotherapist Silva Neves explained to me in an interview that toxic masculinity poses a whole host of dangers both to men and to the people around them, specifically, to women. This is most commonly expressed through violence or the threat of violence.

“The main danger of toxic masculinity is that those men can be emotionally abusive and/or physically violent and sexually violent to women,” the expert told Bored Panda. However, that's just the tip of the iceberg.

#4

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying I am an elderly woman and it really really pisses me off when men that I don't know call me "Sweetie" or "Honey" or "Sweetheart." Dudes. Just don't. I am not your grandma with a dish of cookies for you.

NoBSforGma , fra93 Report

Kyle D
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

I can't tell you how many times I've been called those names by women. Assuming no salacious motives by the men, it's just as demeaning for women to do it. So bottom line, strangers shouldn't call other strangers pet names.

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#5

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying When they tell me to smile. It used to make me really uncomfortable, but now I just grin manically at them.

Reddit , alisdair Report

qwerty
Community Member
2 months ago

I'm going to try this now.

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#6

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying hi i know my comment will get lost but if you are over 18 and i make it clear to you that i am underage, do not continue to talk to me. please.

langleyx , Pedro Ribeiro Simões Report

Demi Zwaan
Community Member
2 months ago

I supposed they mean flirting? Because just having a normal conversation should be fine.

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“They can also be aggressive to gay people. They perpetuate toxic messages of masculinity so toxic masculinity is usually passed down to their children and peers maintaining the problems,” Silva said that toxic masculinity is a generational issue. Thus, we can’t expect any changes to happen overnight, but the sooner they start, the sooner society can start moving on a different, kinder and more peaceful, trajectory.

Meanwhile, according to psychotherapist Silva, the men who subscribe to the tenets of toxic masculinity can end up hurting themselves as well.

#7

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying Asking if I live alone. If there's already an established friendship, fine. But if you're a stranger or just an acquaintance, that freaks me out.

changingoftheseasons , Jennie Report

River Webb
Community Member
2 months ago

no I live with 8 cats, they scratch.

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#8

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying Restricting my movement in any way. Pinning me in a corner, holding my wrist down, blocking my escape, etc...

Butdoesithavestars , Keira Burton Report

Deborah B
Community Member
2 months ago

The "casual lean against the door frame" preventing you from leaving the room, the "one arm braced against the wall" that means you can't push past without touching him, the "loungeing against your desk" that traps you in your cubical, the "holding the door for you" that blocks the doorway, the "shopping cart angled to block the aisle". Guys do it all the time, maybe without even noticing. It's not always threatening, but if he shows any interest in you as a woman, it imediately becomes uncomfortable, and you need to defuse a potentially dangerous situation. If you are at work, you typically need to do it without offending him, making a scene, or making yourself look bad to managers/colleagues.

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#9

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying DMs

Hey

Hey

Hey

I’m not interested

F**k you, you stupid b****.

Bikinigirlout , Startup Stock Photos Report

JennyLaRue
Community Member
2 months ago

I stopped playing Words with Friends because I used to get this nonsense in the messages. I literally just wanted to play scrabble, the least sexy of games!

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“Toxic masculinity also harms the men themselves because repressing their own emotions so much can lead to mental health issues, depression, and even suicide,” he noted that the dangers are very real when men are unable to be vulnerable, open up to others, and ask for help. “Toxic masculinity harms everybody.”

#10

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying Saying, 'If I was x years younger... I was 15 and manning the cash register at my dad's store when this guy told me I 'brought back memories' of the women he met while he served in Vietnam. And he kept looking me up and down with a slobbery look on his face.

tarantulawarfare , Polina Zimmerman Report

River Webb
Community Member
2 months ago

gross

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#11

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying If you keep going on about how much you respect women, you probably don't respect women.

Lockshala , August de Richelieu Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 months ago

Or only respect the ones you want to sleep with

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#12

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying Talking badly about their ex and their kids. I'm a single middle age woman. I don't know what's going on with some Men but a lot of them regret having kids and are mad about having to give money to their ex to raise them.

I'm not talking about unreasonable amount of money but for exemple 100$ for 2 kids at the beginning of a school year. And of course their ex is crazy for asking for it. "She's the one who wanted kids.." Some have complained about having to spend time with them.

Why are they telling me this? We just met. It makes them seems so mean and cheap. If you don't want kids get a vasectomy.

sonia72quebec , cottonbro Report

PrincessPatton
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

It is bullsh*t when men say "She's the one who wanted kids, not me", but they have unprotected sex and refuse condoms and vasectomy. When you are a man and sure you don't want kids, use condom everytime or get vasectomy.

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#13

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying Gay men who grope you and excuse it by saying, 'It's OK — I'm gay! I'm not attracted to women at all!' Keep your f**king hands to yourself, then!

Ryanadjamila , Polina Zimmerman Report

JennyLaRue
Community Member
2 months ago

I used to have a friend that thought it was funny to pull my top and bra down in public places, on the basis that 'it's funny as he doesn't care about my boobs'. Not a friend anymore

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#14

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying 'Daring' me to kiss my girlfriend in front of them to 'prove' I'm really a lesbian. Disgusting.

ceresdaniela , Jeroen Report

River Webb
Community Member
2 months ago

why do you need to prove anything to them?

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#15

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying It has happened more than once where it came up in casual conversation that i don't wan't kids and some guy tries to change my mind as if it's any of his business

Hunulven , Thirdman Report

MiriPanda
Community Member
2 months ago

That is not restricted to men...

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#16

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying My wife had a boss that would come up behind the women and give them shoulder massages. Not cool, dude.

BuckingFutters78 , joselosada Report

Potatogamers2
Community Member
2 months ago

That's assault.

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#17

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying Saying, 'You're cute when you're angry.'

naughtydismutase , OSPAN ALI Report

River Webb
Community Member
2 months ago

so I bet I'll be downright adorable when I punch you in the face

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#18

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying I have a large tattoo on my shoulder, and I've had several men come up from behind and move my tank top strap and/or bra strap to see it better. In grocery stores and Lowe's of all places!

ookaminaku , InSapphoWeTrust Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 months ago

And many feel the need to say how they don't like women with tattoos or how we have ruined our bodies.

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#19

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying Men in positions of power asking sexual questions or commenting on your body. I had one boss try to tell me if I did a certain work out it would help me lose some fat in my thighs and another casually ask me if I was quiet or a screamer. Yeah, that s**t ain't cool.

AntiRaz , energepic.com Report

Iggy
Community Member
2 months ago

Good grief! Was there no one you could report them to?

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#20

FOLLOWING ME FOR ANY DISTANCE! I was once followed TWENTY BLOCKS by a man trying to basically get me to go home with him. Mind you, I had my HEADPHONES in to make it clear I wasn’t listening (although they were off, I just do it so most creeps don’t approach) but my goodness he didn’t let up. I never even looked at him the whole time he followed me. He didn’t leave till I finally spotted a police officer and started walking in that direction. I even asked to be left alone, had my pepper spray in hand visible.

Just kept calling me gorgeous, and asking if my boyfriend treated me right. Could he give me his number in case my BF did something bad? All ignored.

PSA: it’s not ROMANTIC OR ATTRACTIVE to be STALKED any distance no matter how much tv or movies would lie and have you believe.

Notyourmamashedgehog Report

K Witmer
Community Member
2 months ago

I saw a women scream at a guy for him to pay her bills and take care of her kids and marry her right then and there and to hand over his credit card she needed to buy a diamond ring while he was following her asking her out. It was so funny. He called her crazy and walked away

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#21

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying Following women around continuing to try to talk to them when they've already made two attempts to end the conversation.
A guy next to me on a plane wouldn't stop talking to me, even after I put on headphones! Then, he tried to walk me to my connecting flight after I refused to give him my phone number. He only finally left when I went to the women's restroom.

metky , raoul esmere Report

Potatogamers2
Community Member
2 months ago

I've had one guy do this, he finally went to the other side of the road when I said that I'm married..Like wow, I have to be married for you to leave me alone?!

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#22

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying I've got curly hair, and I'm sick of men thinking they can just come grab a coil of it and pull it like a slinky spring! Don't touch my hair, and don't call me moody when I tell you to stop!

weemuree , Rebecca Partington Report

PrincessPatton
Community Member
2 months ago

YES! I'm curly redhead and people (men in most cases) think it's OK touching my hair.

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#23

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying Stop telling me how 'big' things are for a woman. 'That's a big truck for a little girl,' or even once when I was at Subway, this condescending prick said, 'That's a big sandwich...'

romanticia , dave_7 Report

Charlotte
Community Member
2 months ago

With a straight face: "Yes, same size as my huge d*ck." Works every time.

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#24

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying Putting their hands on your thigh or back casually while talking to you. If I’m being friendly it’s not a signal for you to touch me. Far too many co-workers, creepy uncles, etc. find this ok!

LibraD_Va , makunin Report

Viviane
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

I found a technique that's been effective in the workplace: I tell the person, "Don't touch me", give them a quick second to be startled, then continue the conversation. Since I'm discussing work, they are unlikely to interrupt me to argue why they should touch me. There's always that weird inner sensation when I assert myself, but it's much better than the feelings I get if I let them continue touching me.

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#25

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying Unsolicited d*ck pics.

“Smile!”

“Where’s my hug?”

“You’re too beautiful for all that makeup.”

Yelling anything at me from across the street.

Telling me I’m perfect during our first conversation - back off dude, you don’t know me.

anonymice3 , Free-Photos Report

Ancsuri
Community Member
2 months ago

Once a dude sent me a pic where he was wearing a bra. I was so shocked, that I forgot to block him...in a minute he sent me the d*ck pic too. In that second I blocked him, but why do they do that. Nobody you dont know intimately is interested in such pictures.

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#26

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying Catcalling. Like, WTF. In what world is someone gonna turn around and be appreciative instead of creeped the f**k out?

flyerflew , MichaelFollow Report

Rosidah Yahya
Community Member
2 months ago

make me wish, every teenage boys on this planet take a special education class tht teach them how to respect others esp.ly women so tht when they grow up, they will be mature and understanding man , later they will teach their kids abt gud manners

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#27

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying Grabbing my wrists

It is a huge ultimate f**k no

Pengauno , Anete Lusina Report

TK 421
Community Member
2 months ago

Back home a guy would find himself in the ER for something like this. The ladies are always armed with something capable of changing a predator’s mind

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#28

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying When guys pick me up. I've always been really skinny, so guys think it's OK to just...lift me.

DidntWantSleepAnyway , Alexander Dummer Report

Ellkje0805
Community Member
2 months ago

Huh, who does that?!

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#29

Using my name on my credit card receipt at the gas station to look me up online and try to add me on various social media platforms shudder

reddit Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 months ago

eww

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#30

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying “Why aren’t you married?” Asked randomly. I’m 34. My fiancé passed

Missdanib , Eliott Reyna Report

Marianne
Community Member
2 months ago

Well, tell them that your fiancé died and ask them if they like this answer and if they think it's a cool conversation topic.

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#31

Block an exit while trying to start a conversation. Just.don't do it EVER.

landho54 Report

Iggy
Community Member
2 months ago

Absolutely. That is threatening behavour.

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#32

I had a friend who for a while would always respond to my comments re: being a woman and sexually harassed or ogled at with the story of how he was such a good guy he saved a girl from being raped at a frat party.

I'm not sure if the exact scenario is common but when guys hear women talking about sexual harassment or assault and launch into the reasons why they're not that guy...it just makes me even more uncomfortable because someone who isn't that guy shouldn't have to say it every time you talk about sexual harassment.

PandeanPanic Report

Logic and Reason
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

A lot of men assume they will be construed as “that guy” unless they say otherwise. Not speaking for myself here, and I’m not claiming that it’s a correct assumption.

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#33

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying Since I got pregnant I've had more male friends think it's acceptable to call me a 'MILF,' especially at inappropriate times...like in front of my mom

ey_peetay , Tony Alter Report

K Witmer
Community Member
2 months ago

When I was pregnant I got hit on so much. I thought for sure men would leave me alone. Nope it brought out a whole different kind of aggressive creepiness

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#34

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying Saying anything along the lines of 'you’re perfect' within minutes of meeting.

YourTransJesus Report

Marc
Community Member
2 months ago

No one is perfect. Period.

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#35

When you get messages like "hi hun 💕😘" in a business setting. I draw for a living and regularly get guys messaging me under the guise that they want to commission something, when it's really just an excuse to get closer to me.

This will sound blunt and b*tchy, but I don't want you. I want your money. You commissioning, or not? Alright stop wasting my time, thank you!

reddit Report

Neil Bidle
Community Member
2 months ago

Sounds like a perfectly reasonable response

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#36

Constantly pushing for a date after saying we aren’t interested. Like a high school boy having a crush and the girl saying “I just like you as a friend...” and they keep pushing like she’ll fall in love. Sorry that’s just a fairytale. Please stop after we say we don’t like you. No hard feelings! We just don’t want to date you.

thatboiii2468 Report

Marianne
Community Member
2 months ago

A part of this problem is the movie industry giving men a false impression of how this works.

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#37

Don't ask me for nudes within like...a week of meeting me and going on one date. The level of trust I'd have to have in order to share photos like that is phenomenal! And I may never ever want to anyway.

How does a guy think it's just a casual thing to ask of me? It might be a turn on for you but it's highly risky and it makes me feel like I'm just there as a bit of titillation on his phone and not a real human being who he sees as equal and respected.

CazzaLazarou Report

JennyLaRue
Community Member
2 months ago

Or just don't ask for nudes full stop. You don't know where they'll end up once they've been sent

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#38

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying When I am walking down the sidewalk, follow me slowly in a car while trying to talk to me. I f**king hate this.

terribleverything , Jaroslav A. Polák Report

TK 421
Community Member
2 months ago

Take out your phone, dial 911 (or the appropriate number for emergency services in your area), put it on speakerphone, and have a loud and clear conversation with the authorities while showing the face of the phone to the predator. No one has ever been punished for being afraid.

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#39

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying Messaging me late at night to tell me to 'go to bed.'

niponew , Ivan Radic Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 months ago

I started blocking people who think they can infantilize me. And I know they think it's just being caring but it is super controlling and treating me as less than an equal

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#40

“What Do Men Do That They Think Is Okay But Is Actually Creepy?”: 40 Women Respond And The Answers Are Worrying Asking, 'Where's my hug?'

Scrappy_Larue , Ricardo Moraleida Report

Stephen Nichols
Community Member
2 months ago

I only hug two women that aren't my family. My best friend and a woman in my office whose Christmas jumper says "it's Christmas, give me a hug" and if it's written on a Christmas jumper, it's the law and I have to!

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