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How do we know our love interest really likes us? I mean, how do we know for real. This simple, yet somewhat alarming thought may break into even the tightest relationships. Because there’s always ‘what if’ and ‘what now’...

So when Twitter user @Oloni wrote: “You ever think about the men who said they liked you before and suddenly realized they actually really hated you,” it struck a chord with many. Amassing 29.8K likes, the thread quickly became a safe space to talk about hard things where people shared the exact moment they realized their love did not quite love them.

So let’s get ready to dive into the sea of real-life stories on how crushes suddenly crash, in cases ranging from cheating to those that are much more sinister.

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Nannychachi
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Called my then-husband to take me to the hospital because I started bleeding at 3 months pregnant. His response? "Can't you call my dad to take you? I'm getting ready to go play softball." Divorced that trash and have been married to World's Best Husband for the last 18 years.

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We are all worthy of love, but in reality, most of us have survived rejection in various shapes, forms, and levels of hurt at some point in our lives. Whether it’s your partner saying they don’t love you as much as they used to, or them acting like they couldn’t care less about you, or… Well, the ways to break your heart are endless. And while some withstand the initial shock and cold shower with their head up, others take days, if not months or even years, to heal and find love again.

No wonder scientists have shown now and again that love literally hurts. Known as “stress cardiomyopathy” to the medical community, it’s better known as “broken heart syndrome,” and medical professionals don’t object to the nickname. Neuroimaging studies have shown that brain regions involved in processing physical pain overlap considerably with the areas in charge of social anguish. The connection between the two was found to be so strong that bodily painkillers turned out to successfully relieve our emotional wounds.

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Jo Johannsen
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Normal people don't use condiments? There's an entire industrial sector down the drain.

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So in order to find out how to survive rejection and help a friend or relative who’s going through a heartbreak, we talked to Kate Mansfield, an award-winning dating coach, TV personality, writer and women’s rights activist.“ Rejection can have a profound or a mild effect, depending on the psychological state, the past trauma and the personality of the person,” Kate said and added that “at its worst, it can cause extreme feelings of worthlessness and even depression.”

Therefore, it’s not something to be taken lightly. “It can cause the person to withdraw from relationships and to stay alone. Or, to feel not good enough and low self-esteem,” Kate explained and added that those with healthy self esteem and confidence are not affected as much “because they have a solid sense of self-worth already.”

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deanna woods
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents drove all the way back home after I got in a car accident. They in another city when it happened.

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Since the pain of being rejected has direct ties with our self-esteem, Kate suggests first working on your self-esteem in order to “understand that it is nothing to do with you, it is usually not personal.”

“Try to feel grateful, because the one thing worse than being rejected is to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn’t really love you.” The dating coach added that in such cases when rejection happens on a daily basis, it causes extreme loneliness.

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D S
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ouch!! This is so wrong on so many levels... what a selfish prick.

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denzoren
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm really sorry I laughed..it's something about the wording. I hope you ended it.

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If someone close to you is going through a heartbreak, Kate suggests being supportive and spending time with them. In extreme cases when the problem persists, it’s best to turn to coaching and counselling for help. However, “Be aware that we can only help people so much, sometimes they need to help themselves,” she added.

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Most importantly, Kate concluded that “we are not rejected by others, we reject ourselves by staying in a relationship with someone who isn't really committed, or into us.”

“This self-rejection is the worst part, so have boundaries and standards for yourself. Set your standards high, don't stay for the sake of it. Taking this action will increase your self-esteem and your attraction level too,” the dating coach concluded.

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Kathryn Baylis
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And he gets all douchey like that when 100% of the attention isn’t on him.

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AzKhaleesi
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well at least he was honest...I guess. My ex was such a narcissistic F**K that everything was EVERYONE else's fault. Didn't matter what it was, it was always someone else.

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Kathryn Baylis
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That “damn” was him being selfishly pissed off at the delayed/canceled booty call, because he canceled other plans with his bros for it. Nothing more. Hope you dumped him right then.

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Jon S.
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you've never had anxiety or a panic attack it can seem like childishness to witness someone break down over a simple task, but my god the distress is so real (and we are usually perfectly aware it is also irrational).

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Ninn Kynok
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yet an adult would be supportive and understanding of someone experiencing a panic attack.

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deanna woods
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of my coworkers liked to upset in the hopes that I would have panic attack. He thought it would be funny.

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Raven DeathShade
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have only one enemy: the girl who intentionally attacked me to make me have a breakdown. I warned her, threatened her with dropping her from the group chat, all that. She didn't stop and when I was in the middle of a panic attack I just removed her. I lost nearly half my friend group that day, because of "too much drama". I don't know why she would do that. She has autism for crying out loud, shouldn't she know how hard it is to live with a mental disability?

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Furious George
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nothing helps a panic attack like someone getting judgmental and angry...

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Leo Domitrix
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have PTSD. Please, do tell me I'm not an adult while you're whinging that I am not handing over your dessert "fast enough"....

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Lola
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to date someone years ago when I went through a lot of anxiety/depression/panic attacks. I was very young and confused. He told me I can’t be with you because I don’t think you will be able to handle being a mother and a wife like this. That period for me lasted about 1 year and it’s been 20 years now and haven’t had any of those symptoms. It still hurts me when I think of his words. A part of me thinks he caused all that because I’ve been fine ever since.

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Marlene Pfeiffer
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After 40 plus years of being together, I now have panic attacks in the car after a terrible car accident. I panic, my husband yells like I can control it and I start to cry and panic and he yells some more. Go ahead and call me a fool for staying with him.

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Pamela Blue
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was one of those who couldn't understand a panic attack, until I had one. It wasn't only a mental thing. It was also physical and there wasn't a damned thing I could do to stop it. Horrible experience, and it happened at a very inconvenient time. LOL! Now I would never hassle anyone about anxiety or panic attacks.

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Rocky Mom
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At first, my partner was a little too frustrated with my attacks. He felt it was personal to him. We both had some needed growth in maturing and understanding each other. We stuck it out and man, 7 yrs later... he is so lovingly supportive and knows exactly what to do for me when I am in an attack. It hadn't even taken him all our 7 yrs together to become that man, either. Blessed.

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Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m so sorry to hear that he could not support you but he did not have the capacity and I hope that you’re with somebody who is more understanding and more supportive now

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Getthepopcornout
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah my boyfriend tells me to stop being mardy (moody) whet I'm anxious!!!

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Rocky Mom
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"IT'S NOT YOU WHY I'M YELLING, TALKING LOUD. I JUST CAN'T HELP IT, I'M OVERWHELMED!" - doesn't help as a yelling, loud reply to why the "attitude", either. *sighhh hah hah

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Linda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A funnier joke is to plant a weapon in his luggage and then go to the airport for a vacation with him.

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HammerzToe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never had a panic attack, but I would like to think that I'm human enough to know when someone is in distress, physical or mental. What a shame some people can't see past their own egos.

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Nandina
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He was causing your panic attacks. Crazy men make women crazy.

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Cathy Carey
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know it's mean but don't you wish he would get some serious panic attacks - might enlighten him a little and just maybe he might become a real human.

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Kathryn Baylis
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hope you dumped him, because being with him would ruin your life.

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Kathryn Baylis
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No one makes us do anything, unless they’re physically forcing us to. Otherwise, we CHOOSE our reactions, even if we don’t realize it. He could’ve chosen not to cheat, but instead he gave in to his impulses, then tried to project his guilt on you. You are innocent. He’s the guilty party. Hope you dumped his cheating ass.

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Jon S.
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, if you were in the middle of an argument it might have been the best thing to do. You cannot expect someone to switch from defensive to supportive because of tears. The most you can expect is that with reflection they see how important the issue is to you.

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Trillian
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Shouldn't it be surprising that HE is still alive after that day (assuming he is)?

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Kathryn Baylis
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m 60, and discovered decades ago that some adults are so childish—-rude, impulsive, selfish, and totally lacking in critical thinking skills, empathy, and a filter between their brains and their mouths—-that they DO need to be told to be nice to others. Sometimes they’re so devoid of even the most basic social skills that they actually need to be taught HOW to be nice to others, as well. We need to do a better job raising our children, folks, so this population of sociopaths decreases instead of increases.

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Aunt Messy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Drive away in your new car and don't look back. Let him abuse his new fuckpuppet.

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denzoren
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Guys like this are usually all in for an open relationship but would start crying if the woman was getting more attention.

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Kathryn Baylis
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“Best friend”, my ass. Leave him to her. He’ll soon learn the grass isn’t always greener somewhere else. It happened to me a couple times when I was single. They both came running back pretty quickly, knocking on my door, and begging me to forgive them and to take them back. They both got my door slammed in their faces, and I couldn’t give a s**t just how long they stood there before it dawned on them that they weren’t going to be let in my house, that they pissed on—-and lost—-the affection of a much better person than the ones they left me for, and it was all their own stupid horndog fault.

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