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Dating and relationships are difficult even on a good day. And good days are pretty rare. Unfortunately, that is the reality everyone lives in when navigating the romantic world. Especially women. But at least they have a place to vent.

The subreddit r/FemaleDatingStrategy has 175K members (or as it calls them, queens), constantly discussing their love lives, and that includes all the nonsense that arises too. Continue scrolling and check out what they have to say.

#1

Men Only Bringing The Audacity, Yet Again, To The Table!

Men Only Bringing The Audacity, Yet Again, To The Table!

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BlackestDawn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Took me a sec to realize it, but good going. You have to consider yourself first.

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To help you get a better understanding of these posts, Bored Panda got in touch with dating coach, 2 million view TED speaker, and media personality Hayley Quinn. She believes that "dating is different for men and women. However, you'd be wrong to think that one gender has it easy."

"Instead men and women often face equal and opposite problems to one another," Quinn said. "Guys might struggle to think of how to approach a woman, and women (who traditionally and maybe wrongly) have been told they can't make the first move and so panic over where they can find all the guys that want to approach them."

#2

Say It Louder For The People In The Back!!

Say It Louder For The People In The Back!!

Twohagsover30 , ghvstbvr Report

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denzoren
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never understood this...if you lose control over what a woman wears then you need some serious help. The problem definitely isn't the clothes.

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In the world of online dating, Quinn also sees noticeable disparities. "Guys may feel like they're having to move heaven and earth to get one lousy response from a woman, whilst women can feel overwhelmed and harassed by unsuitable suitors," she explained. "Men could usually learn from women that they need to have higher standards for the women they interact with, and women could take a leaf out of men's dating and learn how they too can be proactive."

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#4

Some Men Need To Learn This

Some Men Need To Learn This

anonymous , taragroves05 Report

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BingeFest1
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This goes for everybody. Treat others the way you want to be treated

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In 2020, the Pew Research Center surveyed Americans to find out more about their love life. While single-and-looking men and women reported equal levels of dissatisfaction with their dating lives and the ease of finding people to date, women were more likely to say they have had some particularly negative experiences.

Most women who were single and looking to date (65%) said they have experienced at least one of six harassing behaviors asked about in the survey from someone they were dating or had been on a date with, such as being touched in a way that made them uncomfortable or rumors being spread about their sexual history.

#6

Oops

Oops

PBJellyNutella Report

"Though men might think women have guys queuing up to date them (which sounds great right?) in reality women face plenty of dating challenges," Quinn said. "They may feel emotionally drained by dating, as they push through dates where they don't feel a connection. If they're seeking a relationship they may struggle to tell which guy's going to be in for the long haul, and who will disappear at the first inkling of commitment. They may even not know how to get offline and actually meet men in real life; and get stuck in the belief that all the 'good men' have run out, and it's impossible to meet someone."

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The dating coach added that women also face significantly more judgement around things like their age, which can be a challenge on dating apps; and more scrutiny for expressing their sexuality. "So don't think that just because she's got a queue of potential suitors that she's not having a hard time dating."

We all can be douches to one another. Let's not.

#8

That Really Puts It In Perspective

That Really Puts It In Perspective

Descendant_of_Innana Report

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Nadine Bamberger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And it's always on us, don't dress that way, don't walk there, don't provoke. When it happens we didn't fight enough, fought too hard, didn't say no, didn't mean it when we said it. If we report it we get blamed, re traumatized by questions and rape kits that are then left untouched, called liars.

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#11

100% True For Me

100% True For Me

cinderella_rising , PatrickStrud Report

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Legen ( wait for it ) dary
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel a drop off interest on men (thanks a lot) when I say my husband is a police officer or a jujitsu master.

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#13

Cracks Me Up Every Time

Cracks Me Up Every Time

Pasdepromesses Report

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StrawberryParfait
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least Asian men know how to properly wash their ass and aren't leaving skidmarks on the sheets.

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Geralt of Rivia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too much generalization. How many western men say that exactly and how many Asian men groom well. You can't fight stereotypes with stereotypes

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Victoria Pitt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a woman in her late 30s who had to navigate the dating apps for the past 10 years, I found the number of unkempt men with little to no personal hygiene or care for their appearance alarming. And yes a lot of them looked way older than they should, although I'm sure many lied about their age. Needless to say my current boyfriend is fit, well groomed AND he will occasionally do a clear pore strip with me. Bonus!

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Marcellus the Third
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess most of the good ones are taken by then? The 'projects' are left on the shelf?

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Daria B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, I did marry my Korean prince charming ♡ This is witty indeed, but let's not generalise. Asia is huge, and I've heard the opposite for the cultural mentality of skin care from some other parts of Asia. Likewise, seen many European and American sleek gentlemen who sometimes overdo it with the parfume.

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Miss Cris
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The post isn't a matter of Asian or Caucasian. The poster is talking about two individuals and it's about taking care of themselves and having the right of being masculine. There are a lot of masculinies and only one is toxic - t his that say you're not enough manly if you are clean and beautiful, and also other more dangerous things. Also, being gay isn't an insult. Also, a gay can be masculine, too. Also, same for Asiatics.

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Holes2Heaven
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow...this is super racist! I'm married to a half Asian guy and even I find you extremely offensive!!

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ChrisZAUR
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean technically I live in the south but yeah skin care is important, I don't wana be looking like a leather suit when I'm older

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Seabeast
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not completely fair. Asians don't age the same way as Caucasians and it has nothing to do with skin care.

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StrawberryParfait
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Correct. They also eat much more healthy than your average male, and that has everything to do with how you age. A diet rich with lean protein and vegetables will always trump a meat-heavy diet, junk food and soda.

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Gerry Higgins
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know any men who think of asian men this way. It's news to me

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Octavia Hansen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, men have the lame idea that women have to "take them as they are" but they choose women who dress, smell and act in an incredibly unnatural way. Hate that double standard!

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Tracy Sellars
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one made me laugh because my partners name is Robert and he wears a three piece suit and tie everywhere. He even has a few cravats for on the rare occasions he wants to change it out. He has been like this his whole life. Thank goodness he is opposite to the Rob in this tale.

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Mark Kelly
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pfft. I am white and 40 and I do outdoor work and I’ve been told I look younger and I don’t use all that fancy skin care stuff And I do shower every day.

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Catlady6000
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just daily cleaning keeps your skin healthy and young looking. Especially if you already have good skin.

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Nikki Owens
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I honestly couldn't care less about this. As long as a guy is clean, that's all that matters. I'm suspicious of any guy who spends more time on his beauty routine than I do. Vanity is a turn-off.

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Robert Robi Z
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Emmm... is it obligatory to smell like s**t if you are a Robert? Why didn't anybody tell me?

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Daria B
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nah.... Robert Smith even wears make up. Don't know how he smells, though, but he seems groomed.

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Jon S.
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find this post very toxic. One of the few triumphs of western masculinity is breaking the beauty standard. It is something that should be celebrated no chastised. One day I hope women will experience the same freedom.

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Michael Sanders
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think guys with neck beards, socks, sandals and cargo shorts founded facebook

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Amy Pattie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love how some men do things that will definitely repel women call a well-groomed man “gay” for being well maintained. It’s like it’s gay for women to be attracted to you.

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Lex
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What does being well groomed gave to do with race, though?

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Traci Barnwell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG In high school it was the Mexican guys who wore pressed slacks and perfectly white t-shirts, hair always combed and always so clean an good smelling! My brothers friends smelled like the hog farm and manure. That was suppose to sexy... Their cars were spotless and comfortable, not full of cigarette butts and chew containers.

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athornedrose
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly! Mocking men for basic hygiene and taking care of themselves is ridiculous.

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PKMN Trainer Link
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! My dad makes fun of some Asian guys because they look so nice. It infuriates me how racist (and in other ways too) he is!

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Yuki Uchiyama
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Still being asked tour ID because you look way younger rocks, I do not care western men think I'm gay just because I take care if myself; I will always keep doing that and indeed respect everyone, especially women around me because I do not need to "prove" myself

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Klas Klättermus
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love a clip I saw on youtube when a korean guy asked a russian woman what she thought of korean men. She said that they are more like russian women haha

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Sunshine Sunshine
Community Member
2 years ago (edited)

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100% agree with this and a lot of the other posts. Thing about this one and a few others is that I wonder if it's Robert's (Chad) fault. It's an upbringing, cultural training and expectations. Poor Bob doesn't even know. Maybe educating the Bob's of this world is a good way of getting things done. I agree with this thread, and i have probably unwittingly been guilty of a few of them (the shame!) But this thread does feel a little bit like unlimited gender bashing

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Lynda Vel
Community Member
2 years ago

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This is why I have a preference for Asian men. Not sorry.

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Softsquatch
Community Member
2 years ago

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kinda stereotyping a little there. my boyfriend is asian and he hasn't washed his hair in years 😂

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BluEyedSeoulite
Community Member
2 years ago

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This totally happened with my sister's baby daddy!! He is balding and looks so old, 'warned' my husband that this is the future. My husband is older and TALLER than him 😂😂 He's also Asian, baby daddy is white

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Beezel Palomar
Community Member
2 years ago

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I don't disagree, yet, fu*king learn to write, godd*mn, run on sentence.

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Dillon Hughes
Community Member
2 years ago

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They call them gay beacuse they have a more feminine routine and stature....

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K Witmer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's a feminine routine? Taking a bath? Brushing your teeth? The bar is literally on the floor for guys when it comes to hygiene. How is not stinking showering clean clothes sunscreen and brushing your teeth feminine?? And Asian men are smaller bc of their geographical location they do not have a feminine stature. They are larger than the women in their countries. Stop trying to make anything considered feminine a bad thing. It's extremely sexist and homophobic. Don't be so insecure and take a goddam shower and yes you can wash your b******e it's not gay to wash your b******e ffs and it's not womanly not look and smell like s**t

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#14

They Will Always Make “Single Mothers” The Villains To Shift Blame From Male Predators Or Male Parental Child Neglect

They Will Always Make “Single Mothers” The Villains To Shift Blame From Male Predators Or Male Parental Child Neglect

TheOGJammies , blackwomensday Report

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#15

Speaks For Itself

Speaks For Itself

yggiwtmiih Report

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Ana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm still thinking about the time women had to use hat pins to defend themselves from handsy men. They were covered in fabric from head to tow. It's never about the way you dress, it's about being decent.

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#16

Perfect Way To Deal With Their “Jokes”

Perfect Way To Deal With Their “Jokes”

copingwithsht Report

#17

Be A Hvm In All Aspects Of Life

Be A Hvm In All Aspects Of Life

OhDionne , OhDionne Report

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Rachel Peterson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always support the allies, reminding them how much I value them.

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#18

How Many Of You “Developed” Issues While In A Relationship? I’ll Go First: Depression And Anxiety. Cured As Soon As We Broke Up

How Many Of You “Developed” Issues While In A Relationship? I’ll Go First: Depression And Anxiety. Cured As Soon As We Broke Up

anonymous , AmySilverberg Report

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K Witmer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom was convinced she was just a miserable person. She eloped w my dad when she was 15 he was 19. She was 25 when she got divorced she then realized she was a very outgoing extrovert that loved to smile and be herself

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#20

Hvm Right There. Take Note Scrotes

Hvm Right There. Take Note Scrotes

Big-Paleontologist13 Report

#22

Nothing But Truth

Nothing But Truth

ScarletFate779 Report

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Dennis Troelsen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i'm just going to assume that most here are Americans, being from denmark myself i have been to parties (in denmark) sitting or standing next to a few women and they end up talking sex good and bad experiances partners and so on and never have i thought anything shaming about them but good for them that they have been curious and learned a few things like one i remember very clearly when trying a**l ALWAYS remember lube and lots of it and take time, most of this shaming comes from bad parenting and trying to be the cool/alpha male, bad boy, and for my part korrect if some guy i knew started to brag about rape i would not shame him he would (maybe) wake up in the hospital at some point.

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#26

This Almost Makes Me Want To Redownload Dating Apps To Do The Same!

This Almost Makes Me Want To Redownload Dating Apps To Do The Same!

jfk31989 Report

#27

Even A 35 Yo Man Has These Same Meltdowns But They're The Logical Sex!!!

Even A 35 Yo Man Has These Same Meltdowns But They're The Logical Sex!!!

_xyoungbellax_ , iamaroadtrip Report

#28

Watch The Way Men Treat Women They're Not Attracted To

Watch The Way Men Treat Women They're Not Attracted To

Lucifers_Treasurer Report

#29

The Message

The Message

Brown_chick45 Report

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Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Choose to empower your kids by considering them now and in the future. Spot on

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#30

Mom Praising Son-In-Law For The Bare Minimum

Mom Praising Son-In-Law For The Bare Minimum

sassyheather Report

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ZooMom
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband stayed with our kids as infants while I worked. Everyone went on and on about how amazing he was (and he was) but then we switched roles this past year and I hear how “lucky I am to GET to stay home” and how bad they feel he works long hours. B****! I pumped breast milk on the floor of a unisex bathroom while still taking phone calls.

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#31

Why Are Males?

Why Are Males?

MarbleWorld , EazyBreezyJay Report

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Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would call him out, get management and then call the cops! Effing dirty slob.

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#32

Leave Him In The Dust

Leave Him In The Dust

cinderella_rising , efowlz Report

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El muerto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

some time it bothers me, some women think they don't have a choice because they are in love.

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#33

This Is Why We Can’t Even Trust The “Good” Guys

This Is Why We Can’t Even Trust The “Good” Guys

elementalvirago , sarahradz_ Report

#34

Keep Your Friends Safe!

Keep Your Friends Safe!

reddit.com , AthenaBozios Report

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#35

Used Or New, We Will Run You Over

Used Or New, We Will Run You Over

reddit.com Report

#36

Thoughts?

Thoughts?

liondale , BIndlovukazi Report

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BingeFest1
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I ever actually find somebody I'd want to marry I would never propose with anybody around. I would want to eliminate any peer pressure and create an intimate environment

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#37

Instead Of Holding Rapists/Harassers Accountable, He Mocks Women For Trying To Protect Themselves. A True Pos

Instead Of Holding Rapists/Harassers Accountable, He Mocks Women For Trying To Protect Themselves. A True Pos

reddit.com Report

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Xottel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not about locating the witness. It's about scaring the bad guy by becoming a potential witness. Some women even resort to making fake calls on their way home. I'd say it stops at least some horrible people so that's an improvement.

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#38

Henry Viii's Wives If They'd Never Met Him

Henry Viii's Wives If They'd Never Met Him

Zayelle Report

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Ana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I still think Anne of Cleves got the best deal. She didn't have to remain married to Henry VIII and even got a sweet castle and money to boot and she never ever had to get married again.

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#39

Thought This Belongs Here. (From Selfawarewolves... Men Are So Close, I Can't Decide If They're Ignorant On Purpose Or Genuinely Can't Grasp Basic Concepts)

Thought This Belongs Here. (From Selfawarewolves... Men Are So Close, I Can't Decide If They're Ignorant On Purpose Or Genuinely Can't Grasp Basic Concepts)

therebellioustiger Report

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like the guy who yells "hey pretty lady" and approaches a woman they don't know, and when she "walks fast" to get away or tells him to stop, she has a "bad attitude"

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#40

Being In You 20’s Should Be About Self Development, Your Eduction And To Lay The Foundation For Financial Independence

Being In You 20’s Should Be About Self Development, Your Eduction And To Lay The Foundation For Financial Independence

Shefthegooddog , iamsedem_ Report

#41

Most Stay-At-Moms Do Not Get The Luxury Of Building A Career, Or Even The Luxury Of A Personal Life This Is How Women End Up In A Financial Trap With No Support

Most Stay-At-Moms Do Not Get The Luxury Of Building A Career, Or Even The Luxury Of A Personal Life This Is How Women End Up In A Financial Trap With No Support

Journalist_Full , BridgieCasey Report

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fire bug
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ummmm... my wife and I support our family. I work long hours. My wife takes care of 90% of the household stuff. I clean the kitchen every night and get home by dinner time every night to have family time with her and our kids. I don't support her and she doesn't support me. We support each other.

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#43

Tea

Tea

Descendant_of_Innana , skatingstoned Report

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QueenMiri
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Women who could tell stories about crazy ex boyfriends rarely make it out alive. That's why you only hear about crazy ex girlfriends.

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#44

Seriously

Seriously

normabelka2 Report

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Guido Pisano
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

helping your wife means that most of the job is on her shoulder. I prefer say that I do my part...

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#45

Reminder

Reminder

tahliaw , brownandbella Report

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J. F.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a misanthrope- I actually enjoy to not have to deal with somebody on a daily basis. I must be a quite rare man according to this article

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#46

We Used To Think We Were Always At Fault

We Used To Think We Were Always At Fault

MysteriousLife7 Report

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Zephyr Anthem
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True if you date a self centered douche who doesn't care about your pleasure...

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#47

Women Protect Women From Harm. Men Protect Other Men's Ability To Lie, Cheat, And Knowingly Harm Women

Women Protect Women From Harm. Men Protect Other Men's Ability To Lie, Cheat, And Knowingly Harm Women

Twohagsover30 Report

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Valisbourne Spiritforge
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know about any 'bro code'. But any friend of mine cheating on his SO (also probably a friend of mine by association) and expecting me to keep it a secret isn't really my friend.

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#50

*internal Screaming, Forever*

*internal Screaming, Forever*

anonymous , NikkiCallowayy Report

Note: this post originally had 79 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.