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50 Women Share The Ways They Were Body-Shamed And It’s Just Too Horrible To Read
Sally Bergensen is the CEO of Oiselle, a Seattle-based athletic apparel company by women, for women. She recently took to Twitter to share a body-shaming story from her childhood that, despite taking place when she was just a twelve-year-old teenage girl, is clearly something she's never forgotten.
"Keep eating like that, and you're going to be a butterball," her father had said to her, and now she's encouraging other women to share their experiences of being body image shamed by using the hashtag #TheySaid. And as you can see below, many women were quick to come forward with their own stories of friends, family, and sometimes total strangers making hurtful comments about their body type, size, or being way off the line of beauty standards. The hashtag has even spawned a sister hashtag called #SheReplied, which people are using to share ways to respond to the next person who says something unpleasant about the female body. Scroll down to see some of the responses to uncalled for public shaming so far.
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I know. I really, REALLY hope this !@#$%^&* got in trouble
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What? This is a doctor? Doesn't he know the physical and psychological damage bulimia does? He is an awful, sick man.
OMG wow, he would no longer be a doctor giving out those types of comments, not to my daughter he wouldn't
“Give me attention on Twitter” #SheSaid As she tweeted a story of something that never actually happened.
I hope you reported this piece of garbage. I am so sorry this happened to you.
You need to report him to the medical board before he tells this to anyone else! That's clear malpractice.
Hur?? should he be concern of food poisoning ?? OMG, i hope he lose his job.
A girl I know (who's natural body weight was too low ~ 100 lbs) went to the doctor to help her GAIN weight. Doctor told her : a lot of girls would be jealous of you.
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Keep it up! People are ridiculous. They should never shame someone for trying to be active and healthy!
I'm so sorry. I am on antidepressants that have caused weight gain and I have experienced such negative feed back. People can be cruel.
Body shaming from a different perspective. After a nasty break-up in December i started suffering from depression and just stopped eating. I was down to 44kg in no time and people kept telling me how awful i looked. I knew that it looked terrible, but no need to keep f*cking telling me that all the time. That really hurts. Now I am getting better each day :)
Since when do boys not want fat girls?!? Maybe not all of them, but still a lot of them. Your mom would be surprised...
Same thing happened to me... I was 15 and it was my aunt. I never wanted to be a model anyway but why say such a mean thing?
I get that nonsense from time to time. Guess what? I'm 54. I plan on doing whatever I want for the rest of my life and I need muscle and bone mass to do it.
It makes no sense: at 13 yo, she's responsible for you and moreover she's supposed to be supporting you and love you no matter what
Honestly, I would kind of expect this from a thoughtless jerk of a teen sibling, it's the parents that make me see red!
Yeah, some doctors should change their job. I really don't get it. Okay, if someone really has an unhealthy body, especially as a doctor you should be honest and help your patient. But this argumentation makes no sense and is just rude. Also if mental issues aren't your field of work, you should be careful with words. (Not only because weight gain could be a side effect of depression)
I knew a girl in college who was a power-lifter. If you didn't know that, an a*****e would assume she was overweight. I think she was about 240lbs of muscle.
OMG sooo sad, reminds me of when I was 13 and my friend told me guys that date fat girls only date them for 1 thing...yes and she was supposed to be my best friend, funny thing was I wasn't even fat at the time as I look back at pics I looked great, sometime a persons motives can be jealousy as well.
That has to be the most horrible thing someone could say to their child :-(
A three year old?? A three year old NEEDS some chub - they're growing very quickly! A skinny toddler is a sick toddler most of the time!
Why would he look at 10 y/o girls' thighs in soccer shorts, huh? But srsly, such a jerk
I could never out on weight before I had my daughter and used to get a lot of comments too which are very hurtful "you are too bony" "Ooo careful you might snap a leg" but it's not your fault
this is so sad, My brother does this to our sister, she has the same problems but diff background as me, our brother lost tons of weight after getting all his med problems fixed, we haven't, our sister has the opposite of me {im under, she's over} and our brother calls her whale, bakery, fat, chub chub, and other words, she's 28 and 200 pounds, he is 24 and weighs 160 pounds with me at 29 at 120 pounds, our brother even got on tv for losing his wight.....{i guess pm or message me if you want that link}
I am sorry, but this is the most idiotic, wrong, mean and simply absurdest thing I ever heard a mother saying to her daughter. Seriously.
So, like someone pointed out so accurately above this post, they are supposed to be taking care of you! So, if they think this, and all those other nasty thoughts, why not say these things instead... let's all take a walk after dinner, it's such a nice night! Hey let's go to the beach and play frisbee before the sunset! You know, daughter, I've put on some weight. I think I need a walk, would you take one with me and keep me company? We could walk the dog together, how about that?
I know this one. The sister of my ex boyfriend told him I looked better when I've been a bit skinnier and with Make up.
Good for you! That's an intense workout and takes stamina and strength!
Foot size? wtf. What a weird thing to insult. "Thanks! I'll work on reducing the size of my feet!"
We had pizza for dinner during holidays. I wanted another piece. "Are you fat pig going to eat another one? I guess you're not" My Dad, I was 12. #TheySaid
My great-grandma (visiting us once in 5 years) to me, 9 years old in a nice-meant voice "Oh, you have quite "ladylike" big thighs!" This was the first time someone commented on my body the way that I thought "I am obviously not right the way I am". It was nice meant, really, but it was like "you are fat and disgusting" and many people continued to say such "nice" stuff to me until I became what they formed me. And now I have to work hard to get rid of this useless ballast (the overweight as well as the bad sentences in my head and my bad self-perception). Why can´t people just be a little bit nicer to each other?
I will share the same thing I shared on the with the other girl who's friend was a b***h. This reminds me of when I was 13 and my friend told me guys that date fat girls only date them for 1 thing...yes and she was supposed to be my best friend, funny thing was I wasn't even fat at the time as I look back at pics I looked great, sometime a persons motives can be jealousy as well.
I had an aunt who used to say this to me when I was a kid, but she called most people fat so I paid her no mind, she was just a bitter lady
How is that body shaming? How could they know you have problems with eating?
My heart goes out to you. I am a fat woman (and just to make this clear, I AM fat and I AM confident in myself and my body and since I defeated anorexia, I actually kinda LIKE being fat), married to a lean, tall, skinny guy. When I met him years ago, he went through terrible depression and he was sickly skinny, starved and malnourished. With help and thanks to his insatiable appetite, I managed to put a few kilos on him, now he's just "normal" skinny, but healthy-looking. He's eating insane amounts, he just has awesome metabolism, unlike me, and it breaks my heart that he now honestly think he's fat and he's trying to restrict himself and lose weight. I spend time every day to tell him that he is beautiful and that even is he did become fat, I'd still find him a total hottie as long as I see him happy and confident in himself, because body-shaming is a terrible thing that has nothing to do with one's gender.
Put gramma in the back of the church, and after the wedding ask her, could you see ok gramma? I know your eyesight is bad!
"So sad to hear about that foot the couldn't remove from your mouth" lol
that is horrible going to a party for fun and ending up being fatshamed it starts with the same letter but still people you can hurt others feelings also why are people judging when the person they judge looks like Aphrodite compared to them?
why didn't you knock him out? A simple uppercut and that b***h learns his lesson
My parents do this all the time. Even when I got a small plate on purpose, and only got about an eighth of a regular serving of dinner... it honestly feels horrible
I have a huge hernia on my belly. I get asked all the time. I'm 48
Intimidating to the person who said this to you!!! I would've told them maybe they should try working out sometimes.... Maybe they wouldn't be so intimidated.
Idk, I think I would have taken this as a compliment, you need strong shoulders in swimming, but then again if running was your fav thing or you were a pro for it, then yeah it sounds a bit hurtful
having big muscles isn't that bad. You should have showed them your power and knocked them out
yeah... my mom says this on almost a daily basis. And she wonders why I prefer to stay in my room then hang around her.
I got a lot of the your face is so beautiful, but you need to lose weight. And I blatantly ignored all their s**t. I got it from all sides. The only problem I had, was that my other three sisters were like sticks as kids and teens, I wasn't. When I was 14, I has a 36 b, and at 18 I was 37 22 38. They were all still sticks. Just starting to get figures that looked girlish. The only reason they thought I was heavy was because of that.. and as I looked at pictures one day, from when we were all younger, I had curves at age 12!! I was just not like the other ones. So, when I did have weight issues, I knew where it came from. My parents even had the why are you eating more talk, and putting on weight? C**p! I was 13!!
Body shaming aside, try it sometime, if you're a decently strong swimmer. One of the swimming challenges I had to do for a badge involved swimming a decent distance in a short time in full clothing, stripping down in the water at the end, and climbing out of the pool in just my swimsuit. The challenge was great and I felt accomplished afterwards.
An acquaintance succesfully studied at London Institute for Performing Arts (sponsored by Paul Mc Cartney) with really good dancing skills and got no job at all after, because her body shape was not "petite"/dainty enough. So noone cared about her skills, only of her appearance. :-(
Says a lot about them and their parents. No home training, and if I had to guess, the parents didn't spend time with this child. No morals, no values, no respect. These traits are learned from our parents, at home.
I can relate to this. I've never been a skinny minny, even at my fittest. At one point I was running 3-5 miles a few days a week and still struggled to get past 175 lbs and I'm only 5'5
"Studying at university, studying at university... you should marry and get children!!" my grandma told 19-year-old-me. I am a big disappointment to her, because I am 39 and still single (AND fat...)
I don´t know how much a size 4 is, but according to google pictures it is a dream body shape! Don´t like your mom!
@oiselle_sally "Don't worry, you are too ugly to be raped", from a guy friend when a group of us were discussing recent rapes and sexual assaults in our city. #theysaid
If find the "family advise" particularly appalling. Failing to teach your children the merits of sports and how to cook healthy, nutritions food, probably even serving them unhealthy food when they were young, but then making comments about the weight is disgusting. Undoubtedly, parents ought to be critical when their children have an unhealthy livestyle. But, as other posters also underlined, being a critical advisor means supporting rather than shaming.
Exactly. How hard can it be to quietly and privately say, "I'm concerned, your weight doesn't seem healthy, how can I help?"
Load More Replies... It's horrible to see that the ones that are supposed to be there for support are the ones tearing them down. This won't motivate anyone to become healthier, quite the opposite. It will make them try to lose weight in unhealthy ways. My mother has never called me fat, even when I was. She would wake up every morning and tell me how beautiful I was and to never let anyone make me feel otherwise. If I wanted to lose weight, she said "OK, I'll help you but know that I think you are beautiful the way you are." I believe my mom will be getting a big hug today. I will continue that tradition with my daughter, she's 4. I tell her how beautiful, smart, and kind she is everyday. It's my job as a parent to be the comfort my child needs in a horrible, judgmental world.
My mom had an untreated mental illness and often said hurtful things, but never once did she body shame me. Passing on body positivity
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The most painful for me is to read such kind of statements from the own parents and relatives. There are so many reasons one can have overweight and instead to bully everybody some people should better turn on the brain and give support if they know the person or at least keep silent.
Been bodyshamed myself a few times. My ex called me fat once... (after we broke up, he started dating a girl that was way bigger than me, that kinda hurt back then but he's a dbag anyway) And one time some guys stopped their car next to me as I was walking down the street, while eating an icecream. Heard the group laughing and 1 said "should you even be eating that, you fatty". Like, how about you mind your own business and lemme me enjoy an icecream on this hot day? Btw, all the females in my family are a bit "bigger", I got the thinnest waist in the family, but can't escape the bigger legs though. We're not really fat though, just chubby I guess? I work out to lose weight, but you can't change your bodyshape so... Atleast my family never made awfull comments like that.
I'm sorry for that. Stay as you are. By the way: Jesus loves you.
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Don't parents have any idea how much they hurt their kids by saying stuff like that. Disgusting!
People rarely listen to what they say before they say it, or even after.
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Sister and brother in law gave me a card with cash in it to buy clothes. They had cut up men's pants, men's shirts, all large men pictures and taped them in the card. I was 24 and had been about a size 14, 5ft 11 in. I was so hurt but then more angry. The next year they bought me a coat, a mans coat because they said they couldn't find a women's coat in my size. I have had to deal with these people for over 40 years.
Sometimes you just have to surgically cut people from your life, if you can. If you do, calmly tell them why and provide instances
Load More Replies... Happens to everyone. At 12 my mate told me I had legs like Mike Tyson and when I was about 16 he used to refer to me as "Jabba" Had the last laugh though (not that I am petty) cause when we got to about 30 it was totally the opposite although I never felt the need to point that out to him.
I'm really sad that there are 22 pages of this. I imagine the longer this stays up, the more pages there will be.
Went to an orthro appointment Woman leads me into the space saying " Ohh your so skinny" look back at mom it waiting room Mom has suprised look on face Next time after I gained weight ( I wasn't healthy and was growing) Woman ( after I'm in the chair): oh, you were so skinny last time.. oh well you still kinda are. As a 14 year old I'm appalled by how this woman thought to comment on my weight. Being 12 and weighing about 75 pounds was gross and now I'm at a healthy 105 pounds. That woman was stupid. ( I'm 14 I can still be a child and call people stupid)
You or your mom need to either say something to this woman or speak t her boss. She's saying things like this to other people
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Body shaming is not the way to make someone loose their weight, while these ppl were d***s to say these things, especially to kids, one needs to keep in mind that there is a reason BMI is divided the way it is. Once you hit the obese range, I can tell you - you're in for a ride... oh boy. Disease doesn't happen immediately it accumulates before it blooms, once it blooms it's too late. Obesity ALWAYS leads to disease. Sorry to tell you, but there is no way to avoid it if you're obese. It doesn't have to be cancer or diabetes, it can be joints, gastroenterological problems, neurological diseases the list goes on and on and on. I say this from experience and I had a close call due to my weight. I waited, never willing to slim down because I was fine with myself, I got people who love me, friends who like me... but none of this matters when you realize the direction your body is taking you.
Good reminder. While a good self image is great, it's small comfort when your on machines due to a stroke.
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I can't BELIEVE how their own family is just being rude to them. That doesn't encourage to get more skinny, it increases resentment between them.
There's nothing wrong with being heavy if you're healthy. But obesity and over-overweight can cause lots of health problems
That still doesn't give anyone the right to comment on it, especially when 99% of those comments will tear down basic self-esteem and encourage dangerous methods.
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"You will never f**k any girls if you dont lose weight" - my dad "You smell as disgusting as you look" - my mom "Specki Mampftonne" - my mom (explanation, im german speck(i) means bacon, mampf means to eat and tonne is something like trash bin) After asking a girl for a date in school: "why don't you ask someone at the schoolyard for gay people, fattie?" Every woman at work always thinks its okay to touch my "breasts" and one slapped my a*s more than one time. Thats just the first few things that came up to my mind when I thought about this but there was so much more during my life and I guess Im not the only one. I wish there would be more boys/men who can find the courage to talk what they've experienced. But this will probably not happen because we always tell boys that its not ok to show "weakness" or to be sad, we tell them that its always a goal when a girl does anything sexual related to you. Im so sick of this s**t.
It breaks my heart to read these... its horrible how the people closest to you would shame you for no good reason. I guess the ones I can really relate to are the cup size ones. I'm an A cup at 16. I would be shoving food down my gullet if my Mother didn't feed me to become a twig. There is no food in the house, and she doesn't trust me with a damn quid so I can't get snacks or anything during the day. I'm always so hungry haha it sucks
babe, I know how you feel, except there was food in my house but if I touched it my stepmother would punish me for stealing. Now I have a job so I can buy my own food
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Once they make body-shaming a hate crime, we'll know that things are starting to go in the right direction.
I have so many... but the first one that popped into my head is about this guy I worked w/ who said, "Hey, I heard you're going out with Dave. ( laughs ) I didn't know he liked fat girls."
This is sad- I'm pretty overweight on the BMI scale, and I'm trying my best to start losing the extra pounds and fat. My family and friends have been nothing but supportive, and it makes my heart ache to know that so many other people aren't as lucky as I am in the ways of positive encouragement.
I had to stop reading. It's all the c**p I've heard all my damn life. And I jumped down the throats of my ex when he said this c**p, too.
I've a beautiful daughter and a beautiful granddaughter and I WILL NOT put up with that c**p said to them. ALL of us are worth better.
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During elementary school all the kids would call me Haleigh walrus instead of Haleigh Wallace. It hurt me so much, to this day I can't hear the word walrus without wanting to cry.
My mother knew exactly how much I ate because she cooked most of it. I was a skinny kid who couldn't gain weight but she was embarrassed by how skinny I was. She was embarrassed because she thought people would think I was anorexic. The stress of trying to gain weight meant I lost more weight. Clothing in those days were very hard to find in my size.
I can relate to them so much. My mom always said to me "don't you feel uncomfortable in your body?" and is still trying to persuade me to do a diet. I'm still having problems loving myself.
Love yourself enough to improve! She's just looking out for your health but in a bad way it seems.
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It's heartbreaking to see so many women who've received such hateful comments from people who should offer unconditional love. Even worse than that, is knowing that so many men out there have been through body shaming of their own. People need to realise that the old 'sticks and stones' rhyme is nonsense, and words can hurt more, and last longer than any broken bone.
I can relate to these. Worst part is, all the bullying just made it to where I hate sports with a soul-searing passion and am just now (in late middle age!!) working on my bully-induced aversion to physical activity and its mental association with being told how fat and worthless I am. If we taught people to love their bodies and just start where they are with any physical activity, we would NOT have an obesity epidemic. There would still be natural variations in size, shape, and athletic ability, but we would not have many extreme problem cases, no one would hear a chorus of nasty voices every time they tried something physical.
First time i meet my dad's New girlfriend (i was 20) she looked at me from feet to head and th
*then said " she's not as fat and ugly as you said". I learned then that my dad said to all his friends that i was very fat(80kg) and very ugly for years... Never talked to my father again.
Load More Replies... I'm so sorry :( how we look is our business and you are a beautiful person regardless of your weight!
When I was thin from a break up and working out I was always told - eat something you'll blow away. I gained weight on zoloft now I've had
a handful of bad dates inform me I'm to fat for them. It's heartbreaking.
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I opened this thinking I'd been told the worst thing that could possibly be said. Nope, these are horrific. Creatively and carefully cruel. Shame on every one of these abusers.
Shades of mom body-shaming me. I was 17, 5'10 and 150lbs. Her 5'6 350lbs. Still called me fat 🤣
My mother - " If I had married my soldier boyfriend, you would be beautiful" to 15 year old me. My mother - " If you don't lose weight, you will never find a husband" to 13 year old me who was super athletic at the time.
My experience: "You could be 110 pounds and still would not be skinny" - my dad, who has been on my case about weight for 2 years. The heaviest I ever was was 140 lb just before my 15th b-day. That was 2 months ago. I'm 135 now. The lightest was 130. Goal: 123 LB by the time I'm 16.
12yo me sitting there not thinking about my weight for once. My aunt- "you're built just like your cousin, don't worry, she lost all her weight when she got older, you will too." 11yo me sitting in the bleachers with my friends, my crush behind me "What do you think about 'm name', I think shed be pretty if she just lost weight." 8-18yo me, walking down the hallways at school switching classes, every other kid there oinking or mooing in my direction. 4-20yo me, my older sister calling me fat every day of my life, telling me how disgusting I was, once telling me my stomach was so big wash cloths weren't big enough and I should use a handtowel. I have so many more.
Grandmother: Why aren't you wearing makeup? 35 year old me: Because my natural face is good enough. Grandmother: No it isn't.
Mom: You have nice hair, but you don't take care of it so it looks like a rat's nest. Me: nothing. I was 12 years old.
The ones from parents and grandparents make me see red. I mean, there are heartless jerks in this world, but they DID make them. They are supposed to love and support you! If they think you are unhealthy, they can just say it politely, like, "[Insert name here], I think you're putting on weight. Maybe you should start working out, or eating healthier. I'll help you, don't worry!" Instead of "Hey, you're getting fat. Work out, or nobody will love you."
Have you been bullied on social media for your post-delivery weight gain? Has a stranger made a rude comment about your body? We tell you how to deal with body shamers. https://www.parentcircle.com/article/6-effective-ways-for-moms-to-deal-with-body-shaming/
I was told my legs were too thick for wearing shorter skirts, by my own father. I finally got the 'hell with you' mentality and we have a pretty good relationship now.
I constantly get asked "Do you ever eat?", "Why is your waist so skinny?", and "Why are your boobs so small when you're 14?" And by the same person over and over again who's 14 to and is already double D while I'm a B and whenever she brings it up people laugh about it. I've told my dad about it but he just says it's a normal thing that happens when he did the same thing to other people when he was younger. I've even been made fun of for how small my feet are because they're smaller than all the girls in my grade. I'm 15 and going into a technical high school glad that she didn't get accepted due to her attitude and grades.
My gut is clenching reading these. And some sound depressingly familiar. :-(
I have SO MANY... but at the top of my head, a guy at work said, "Hey, I hear you're going out with Dave. I didn't know he liked fat girls." A*s. Great post.
Some kids called me "whale" when I was about 12yo. I became anorexic at 15yo for more than 10 years .
Every year I shave my head as part of a fundraiser for childhood cancer research. Every year my grandfather comments that I was so pretty right up until I shaved my head and how no man will disagree that I'm disgusting without hair.
She sent us to Weight Watchers when we were preteens. Thanks Mom! He can eat cherries, you can' they're fattening. Thanks Mom! Scrump scrump scrump scrump (father imitating pig behind shoulder) "What do you think, if nobody sees you eat that it doesn't count? If you don't lose weight I going to buy all your clothes from Rogers (the shame!). Thanks Mom! You'll never have....the husband, the car, the house, the ring I have. Screw you mom. Not coming to your funeral.
It's depressing to read all these stories. You won't forget all the insults, they just hurt - maybe lifelong. I feel sad for all of us.
Trying to put into words the pride and relief I felt when I walked across the stage to get my diploma after four years of college. My mom: "You walked like a farmer."
I had anorexia for a while as a teenager, and when I just started eating again, my grandfathers wife said "Your a*s is so big, a bottle could stand on it, without dropping" Today I couldn't care less about what people have to say - but that one stuck for a while
My sister has been made fun of for being "overweight". She's f*****g 13. She runs like a freaking maniac. She's got muscles. She's not overweight. My step grandma has commented to her saying, "if you keep eating like that, you'll get fat like me." Her friends have commented on her being "overweight" Or commented on how long her hair is, or some other stupid s**t. I'm so freaking done. If one more person comments about her, I'm gonna snap.
People seem to not know muscle can also put on a lot of weight as well. Sounds incredibly stupid from what you've said.
Load More Replies... I remember when my "friends" and my grandma would make fun of me for being really skinny. They would take turns picking me up and shouting about how light I was. My grandma would call me "skinny butt", and then ask me if I was eating. I also was made fun of for looking and sounding younger than I really was. This one a*s in high school, who I had only ever seen in the halls, asked me "How old are you? You look like an 8 year old and you sound like and 8 year old." I was a month from turning 15.
"ew does Nick like THAT" said by my ex about my new bfs opinion of me months after he and i broke up. I was struggling with a drug and got too skinny. I said "no, he ACCEPTS IT."
While being really heavy or really skinny is unhealthy, people should consider what others are going through. (Like, the side-effects from the meds and all). Criticizing them and shaming them is terrible. If you want someone to lose or gain weight, you should be motivating them. Not disheartening them. Also, losing and gaining weight shouldn't be about how appealing and attractive you look. It should be about health. But then again, isn't it better to be unhealthy than to be a judgmental, heartless person?
I find it amazing that the people you love the most will be the first ones to bring you down. Ive had to learn it first hand. You have to keep your chin up and just keep living life for you. If everyone had time to work out every single day and have no life that's exactly what they would do. Fortunately for US there are people who like "heavy" people. So go kick rocks!!!!
I find it utterly disgraceful that the 'one's who are supposed to be supporting these young ladies are in fact their mums/parents!?!?!
How sad it's so often mothers who initially destroy their daughters, even before the world gets a chance.... :( Been there, experienced it, never will do it to my own daughter. She is and will be perfect to me, what ever her body size.
When I was younger, I was super thin. Hell, even the beginning of this year. But, my boyfriend supported the heck out of me to get healthy. Now I'm 124 lbs instead of 112, and while I still have issues sometimes (I'd like to lose like, two pounds right now) - he always supports me and tells me that I'm cute and beautiful. I know damn well that if someone called me ugly, he'd totally be in their face about it. Thanks to my lover, I feel beautiful! Thanks to my lover, I'm healthy and actually enjoy eating now! Thanks to him, my quality of life has gone up considerably. Ladies and gentlemen out there -- don't ever let people close to you tell you or make you think that you're not beautiful, because you are! Everyone close to you should support you; don't take their s**t and accept it. You. Are. Beautiful.
I really hope that family members who commented on your weight issue are actually concern about your health, just that it came out wrong and they are not able to give you the proper advise. So stay strong and move forward, go out and dress what you want, eat and drink what you like. Be active, be health, be happy.
My grandmother left her wedding dress to my aunt/godmother, who married into my family and has since been divorced. As a nice gesture, she called me and said she thought it would be better if I kept her wedding dress instead, but then said that it is "a size 6 and so I wouldn't be able to fit into it, but could probably use the fabric for something else" She's also been giving me all her "fat clothes" every time she's gone on a diet...since I was a teenager.
I would be inclined to eat even MORE if I were insulted this way. This is NOT the way to help!
Mom relentlessly fat-shamed me throughout childhood. Starved myself to a size 4 in college. Came home expecting finally to be loved & accepted. She looks at me with disgust: "You're too thin." #TheySaid
I am so sorry. You are gorgeous and never let your mother or anyone else tell you otherwise.
Load More Replies... It's more than a little sad that a lot of these come from family members.
Ok let's get this straight. Some people are the type to be called skinny, and some are like normal, and some are a bit overweight.
If it was just that, it'd be fine. But it doesn't, and probably never will stop there. There will always be judgement in those descriptors, and like a important part of those tweets show, comments on body size and weight also coincide with life-threatening eating disorders. There is no "normal" in weight, unless you take into consideration an individual's physiological characteristics only, and not what you might assume is an average.
Load More Replies... ...i am gonna blame the media and fantastically fantasy influenced social norms. I am 135lb and still get told I am big and need loose some. everytime a loved one goes at me its when I i finished baking something that is gluten free lactose free and nut free. (allergic to all three) still racking up recipes and loving my loved ones no matter what they say cause they still craze for the food.
....Like to see the people making these comments ...not usually 'the hottest' themselves ...nor the most intelligent ....
Because that's the ONLY reason people are fat right? It has nothing to do with low metabolism or being on medications that make it impossible to lose weight?
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Who the hell are you trying to impress with this s**t?
Load More Replies... If find the "family advise" particularly appalling. Failing to teach your children the merits of sports and how to cook healthy, nutritions food, probably even serving them unhealthy food when they were young, but then making comments about the weight is disgusting. Undoubtedly, parents ought to be critical when their children have an unhealthy livestyle. But, as other posters also underlined, being a critical advisor means supporting rather than shaming.
Exactly. How hard can it be to quietly and privately say, "I'm concerned, your weight doesn't seem healthy, how can I help?"
Load More Replies... It's horrible to see that the ones that are supposed to be there for support are the ones tearing them down. This won't motivate anyone to become healthier, quite the opposite. It will make them try to lose weight in unhealthy ways. My mother has never called me fat, even when I was. She would wake up every morning and tell me how beautiful I was and to never let anyone make me feel otherwise. If I wanted to lose weight, she said "OK, I'll help you but know that I think you are beautiful the way you are." I believe my mom will be getting a big hug today. I will continue that tradition with my daughter, she's 4. I tell her how beautiful, smart, and kind she is everyday. It's my job as a parent to be the comfort my child needs in a horrible, judgmental world.
My mom had an untreated mental illness and often said hurtful things, but never once did she body shame me. Passing on body positivity
Load More Replies... The most painful for me is to read such kind of statements from the own parents and relatives. There are so many reasons one can have overweight and instead to bully everybody some people should better turn on the brain and give support if they know the person or at least keep silent.
Been bodyshamed myself a few times. My ex called me fat once... (after we broke up, he started dating a girl that was way bigger than me, that kinda hurt back then but he's a dbag anyway) And one time some guys stopped their car next to me as I was walking down the street, while eating an icecream. Heard the group laughing and 1 said "should you even be eating that, you fatty". Like, how about you mind your own business and lemme me enjoy an icecream on this hot day? Btw, all the females in my family are a bit "bigger", I got the thinnest waist in the family, but can't escape the bigger legs though. We're not really fat though, just chubby I guess? I work out to lose weight, but you can't change your bodyshape so... Atleast my family never made awfull comments like that.
I'm sorry for that. Stay as you are. By the way: Jesus loves you.
Load More Replies... Don't parents have any idea how much they hurt their kids by saying stuff like that. Disgusting!
People rarely listen to what they say before they say it, or even after.
Load More Replies... Sister and brother in law gave me a card with cash in it to buy clothes. They had cut up men's pants, men's shirts, all large men pictures and taped them in the card. I was 24 and had been about a size 14, 5ft 11 in. I was so hurt but then more angry. The next year they bought me a coat, a mans coat because they said they couldn't find a women's coat in my size. I have had to deal with these people for over 40 years.
Sometimes you just have to surgically cut people from your life, if you can. If you do, calmly tell them why and provide instances
Load More Replies... Happens to everyone. At 12 my mate told me I had legs like Mike Tyson and when I was about 16 he used to refer to me as "Jabba" Had the last laugh though (not that I am petty) cause when we got to about 30 it was totally the opposite although I never felt the need to point that out to him.
I'm really sad that there are 22 pages of this. I imagine the longer this stays up, the more pages there will be.
Went to an orthro appointment Woman leads me into the space saying " Ohh your so skinny" look back at mom it waiting room Mom has suprised look on face Next time after I gained weight ( I wasn't healthy and was growing) Woman ( after I'm in the chair): oh, you were so skinny last time.. oh well you still kinda are. As a 14 year old I'm appalled by how this woman thought to comment on my weight. Being 12 and weighing about 75 pounds was gross and now I'm at a healthy 105 pounds. That woman was stupid. ( I'm 14 I can still be a child and call people stupid)
You or your mom need to either say something to this woman or speak t her boss. She's saying things like this to other people
Load More Replies... Body shaming is not the way to make someone loose their weight, while these ppl were d***s to say these things, especially to kids, one needs to keep in mind that there is a reason BMI is divided the way it is. Once you hit the obese range, I can tell you - you're in for a ride... oh boy. Disease doesn't happen immediately it accumulates before it blooms, once it blooms it's too late. Obesity ALWAYS leads to disease. Sorry to tell you, but there is no way to avoid it if you're obese. It doesn't have to be cancer or diabetes, it can be joints, gastroenterological problems, neurological diseases the list goes on and on and on. I say this from experience and I had a close call due to my weight. I waited, never willing to slim down because I was fine with myself, I got people who love me, friends who like me... but none of this matters when you realize the direction your body is taking you.
Good reminder. While a good self image is great, it's small comfort when your on machines due to a stroke.
Load More Replies... I can't BELIEVE how their own family is just being rude to them. That doesn't encourage to get more skinny, it increases resentment between them.
There's nothing wrong with being heavy if you're healthy. But obesity and over-overweight can cause lots of health problems
That still doesn't give anyone the right to comment on it, especially when 99% of those comments will tear down basic self-esteem and encourage dangerous methods.
Load More Replies... "You will never f**k any girls if you dont lose weight" - my dad "You smell as disgusting as you look" - my mom "Specki Mampftonne" - my mom (explanation, im german speck(i) means bacon, mampf means to eat and tonne is something like trash bin) After asking a girl for a date in school: "why don't you ask someone at the schoolyard for gay people, fattie?" Every woman at work always thinks its okay to touch my "breasts" and one slapped my a*s more than one time. Thats just the first few things that came up to my mind when I thought about this but there was so much more during my life and I guess Im not the only one. I wish there would be more boys/men who can find the courage to talk what they've experienced. But this will probably not happen because we always tell boys that its not ok to show "weakness" or to be sad, we tell them that its always a goal when a girl does anything sexual related to you. Im so sick of this s**t.
It breaks my heart to read these... its horrible how the people closest to you would shame you for no good reason. I guess the ones I can really relate to are the cup size ones. I'm an A cup at 16. I would be shoving food down my gullet if my Mother didn't feed me to become a twig. There is no food in the house, and she doesn't trust me with a damn quid so I can't get snacks or anything during the day. I'm always so hungry haha it sucks
babe, I know how you feel, except there was food in my house but if I touched it my stepmother would punish me for stealing. Now I have a job so I can buy my own food
Load More Replies... Once they make body-shaming a hate crime, we'll know that things are starting to go in the right direction.
I have so many... but the first one that popped into my head is about this guy I worked w/ who said, "Hey, I heard you're going out with Dave. ( laughs ) I didn't know he liked fat girls."
This is sad- I'm pretty overweight on the BMI scale, and I'm trying my best to start losing the extra pounds and fat. My family and friends have been nothing but supportive, and it makes my heart ache to know that so many other people aren't as lucky as I am in the ways of positive encouragement.
I had to stop reading. It's all the c**p I've heard all my damn life. And I jumped down the throats of my ex when he said this c**p, too.
I've a beautiful daughter and a beautiful granddaughter and I WILL NOT put up with that c**p said to them. ALL of us are worth better.
Load More Replies... During elementary school all the kids would call me Haleigh walrus instead of Haleigh Wallace. It hurt me so much, to this day I can't hear the word walrus without wanting to cry.
My mother knew exactly how much I ate because she cooked most of it. I was a skinny kid who couldn't gain weight but she was embarrassed by how skinny I was. She was embarrassed because she thought people would think I was anorexic. The stress of trying to gain weight meant I lost more weight. Clothing in those days were very hard to find in my size.
I can relate to them so much. My mom always said to me "don't you feel uncomfortable in your body?" and is still trying to persuade me to do a diet. I'm still having problems loving myself.
Love yourself enough to improve! She's just looking out for your health but in a bad way it seems.
Load More Replies... It's heartbreaking to see so many women who've received such hateful comments from people who should offer unconditional love. Even worse than that, is knowing that so many men out there have been through body shaming of their own. People need to realise that the old 'sticks and stones' rhyme is nonsense, and words can hurt more, and last longer than any broken bone.
I can relate to these. Worst part is, all the bullying just made it to where I hate sports with a soul-searing passion and am just now (in late middle age!!) working on my bully-induced aversion to physical activity and its mental association with being told how fat and worthless I am. If we taught people to love their bodies and just start where they are with any physical activity, we would NOT have an obesity epidemic. There would still be natural variations in size, shape, and athletic ability, but we would not have many extreme problem cases, no one would hear a chorus of nasty voices every time they tried something physical.
First time i meet my dad's New girlfriend (i was 20) she looked at me from feet to head and th
*then said " she's not as fat and ugly as you said". I learned then that my dad said to all his friends that i was very fat(80kg) and very ugly for years... Never talked to my father again.
Load More Replies... I'm so sorry :( how we look is our business and you are a beautiful person regardless of your weight!
When I was thin from a break up and working out I was always told - eat something you'll blow away. I gained weight on zoloft now I've had
a handful of bad dates inform me I'm to fat for them. It's heartbreaking.
Load More Replies... I opened this thinking I'd been told the worst thing that could possibly be said. Nope, these are horrific. Creatively and carefully cruel. Shame on every one of these abusers.
Shades of mom body-shaming me. I was 17, 5'10 and 150lbs. Her 5'6 350lbs. Still called me fat 🤣
My mother - " If I had married my soldier boyfriend, you would be beautiful" to 15 year old me. My mother - " If you don't lose weight, you will never find a husband" to 13 year old me who was super athletic at the time.
My experience: "You could be 110 pounds and still would not be skinny" - my dad, who has been on my case about weight for 2 years. The heaviest I ever was was 140 lb just before my 15th b-day. That was 2 months ago. I'm 135 now. The lightest was 130. Goal: 123 LB by the time I'm 16.
12yo me sitting there not thinking about my weight for once. My aunt- "you're built just like your cousin, don't worry, she lost all her weight when she got older, you will too." 11yo me sitting in the bleachers with my friends, my crush behind me "What do you think about 'm name', I think shed be pretty if she just lost weight." 8-18yo me, walking down the hallways at school switching classes, every other kid there oinking or mooing in my direction. 4-20yo me, my older sister calling me fat every day of my life, telling me how disgusting I was, once telling me my stomach was so big wash cloths weren't big enough and I should use a handtowel. I have so many more.
Grandmother: Why aren't you wearing makeup? 35 year old me: Because my natural face is good enough. Grandmother: No it isn't.
Mom: You have nice hair, but you don't take care of it so it looks like a rat's nest. Me: nothing. I was 12 years old.
The ones from parents and grandparents make me see red. I mean, there are heartless jerks in this world, but they DID make them. They are supposed to love and support you! If they think you are unhealthy, they can just say it politely, like, "[Insert name here], I think you're putting on weight. Maybe you should start working out, or eating healthier. I'll help you, don't worry!" Instead of "Hey, you're getting fat. Work out, or nobody will love you."
Have you been bullied on social media for your post-delivery weight gain? Has a stranger made a rude comment about your body? We tell you how to deal with body shamers. https://www.parentcircle.com/article/6-effective-ways-for-moms-to-deal-with-body-shaming/
I was told my legs were too thick for wearing shorter skirts, by my own father. I finally got the 'hell with you' mentality and we have a pretty good relationship now.
I constantly get asked "Do you ever eat?", "Why is your waist so skinny?", and "Why are your boobs so small when you're 14?" And by the same person over and over again who's 14 to and is already double D while I'm a B and whenever she brings it up people laugh about it. I've told my dad about it but he just says it's a normal thing that happens when he did the same thing to other people when he was younger. I've even been made fun of for how small my feet are because they're smaller than all the girls in my grade. I'm 15 and going into a technical high school glad that she didn't get accepted due to her attitude and grades.
My gut is clenching reading these. And some sound depressingly familiar. :-(
I have SO MANY... but at the top of my head, a guy at work said, "Hey, I hear you're going out with Dave. I didn't know he liked fat girls." A*s. Great post.
Some kids called me "whale" when I was about 12yo. I became anorexic at 15yo for more than 10 years .
Every year I shave my head as part of a fundraiser for childhood cancer research. Every year my grandfather comments that I was so pretty right up until I shaved my head and how no man will disagree that I'm disgusting without hair.
She sent us to Weight Watchers when we were preteens. Thanks Mom! He can eat cherries, you can' they're fattening. Thanks Mom! Scrump scrump scrump scrump (father imitating pig behind shoulder) "What do you think, if nobody sees you eat that it doesn't count? If you don't lose weight I going to buy all your clothes from Rogers (the shame!). Thanks Mom! You'll never have....the husband, the car, the house, the ring I have. Screw you mom. Not coming to your funeral.
It's depressing to read all these stories. You won't forget all the insults, they just hurt - maybe lifelong. I feel sad for all of us.
Trying to put into words the pride and relief I felt when I walked across the stage to get my diploma after four years of college. My mom: "You walked like a farmer."
I had anorexia for a while as a teenager, and when I just started eating again, my grandfathers wife said "Your a*s is so big, a bottle could stand on it, without dropping" Today I couldn't care less about what people have to say - but that one stuck for a while
My sister has been made fun of for being "overweight". She's f*****g 13. She runs like a freaking maniac. She's got muscles. She's not overweight. My step grandma has commented to her saying, "if you keep eating like that, you'll get fat like me." Her friends have commented on her being "overweight" Or commented on how long her hair is, or some other stupid s**t. I'm so freaking done. If one more person comments about her, I'm gonna snap.
People seem to not know muscle can also put on a lot of weight as well. Sounds incredibly stupid from what you've said.
Load More Replies... I remember when my "friends" and my grandma would make fun of me for being really skinny. They would take turns picking me up and shouting about how light I was. My grandma would call me "skinny butt", and then ask me if I was eating. I also was made fun of for looking and sounding younger than I really was. This one a*s in high school, who I had only ever seen in the halls, asked me "How old are you? You look like an 8 year old and you sound like and 8 year old." I was a month from turning 15.
"ew does Nick like THAT" said by my ex about my new bfs opinion of me months after he and i broke up. I was struggling with a drug and got too skinny. I said "no, he ACCEPTS IT."
While being really heavy or really skinny is unhealthy, people should consider what others are going through. (Like, the side-effects from the meds and all). Criticizing them and shaming them is terrible. If you want someone to lose or gain weight, you should be motivating them. Not disheartening them. Also, losing and gaining weight shouldn't be about how appealing and attractive you look. It should be about health. But then again, isn't it better to be unhealthy than to be a judgmental, heartless person?
I find it amazing that the people you love the most will be the first ones to bring you down. Ive had to learn it first hand. You have to keep your chin up and just keep living life for you. If everyone had time to work out every single day and have no life that's exactly what they would do. Fortunately for US there are people who like "heavy" people. So go kick rocks!!!!
I find it utterly disgraceful that the 'one's who are supposed to be supporting these young ladies are in fact their mums/parents!?!?!
How sad it's so often mothers who initially destroy their daughters, even before the world gets a chance.... :( Been there, experienced it, never will do it to my own daughter. She is and will be perfect to me, what ever her body size.
When I was younger, I was super thin. Hell, even the beginning of this year. But, my boyfriend supported the heck out of me to get healthy. Now I'm 124 lbs instead of 112, and while I still have issues sometimes (I'd like to lose like, two pounds right now) - he always supports me and tells me that I'm cute and beautiful. I know damn well that if someone called me ugly, he'd totally be in their face about it. Thanks to my lover, I feel beautiful! Thanks to my lover, I'm healthy and actually enjoy eating now! Thanks to him, my quality of life has gone up considerably. Ladies and gentlemen out there -- don't ever let people close to you tell you or make you think that you're not beautiful, because you are! Everyone close to you should support you; don't take their s**t and accept it. You. Are. Beautiful.
I really hope that family members who commented on your weight issue are actually concern about your health, just that it came out wrong and they are not able to give you the proper advise. So stay strong and move forward, go out and dress what you want, eat and drink what you like. Be active, be health, be happy.
My grandmother left her wedding dress to my aunt/godmother, who married into my family and has since been divorced. As a nice gesture, she called me and said she thought it would be better if I kept her wedding dress instead, but then said that it is "a size 6 and so I wouldn't be able to fit into it, but could probably use the fabric for something else" She's also been giving me all her "fat clothes" every time she's gone on a diet...since I was a teenager.
I would be inclined to eat even MORE if I were insulted this way. This is NOT the way to help!
Mom relentlessly fat-shamed me throughout childhood. Starved myself to a size 4 in college. Came home expecting finally to be loved & accepted. She looks at me with disgust: "You're too thin." #TheySaid
I am so sorry. You are gorgeous and never let your mother or anyone else tell you otherwise.
Load More Replies... It's more than a little sad that a lot of these come from family members.
Ok let's get this straight. Some people are the type to be called skinny, and some are like normal, and some are a bit overweight.
If it was just that, it'd be fine. But it doesn't, and probably never will stop there. There will always be judgement in those descriptors, and like a important part of those tweets show, comments on body size and weight also coincide with life-threatening eating disorders. There is no "normal" in weight, unless you take into consideration an individual's physiological characteristics only, and not what you might assume is an average.
Load More Replies... ...i am gonna blame the media and fantastically fantasy influenced social norms. I am 135lb and still get told I am big and need loose some. everytime a loved one goes at me its when I i finished baking something that is gluten free lactose free and nut free. (allergic to all three) still racking up recipes and loving my loved ones no matter what they say cause they still craze for the food.
....Like to see the people making these comments ...not usually 'the hottest' themselves ...nor the most intelligent ....
Because that's the ONLY reason people are fat right? It has nothing to do with low metabolism or being on medications that make it impossible to lose weight?
Load More Replies... Who the hell are you trying to impress with this s**t?
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