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“Am I A Jerk For Throwing My Siblings In Foster Care So I Can Have A Better Life?”
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People1 month ago

“Am I A Jerk For Throwing My Siblings In Foster Care So I Can Have A Better Life?”

Recently, a heart-wrenching story from a 19-year-old woman went viral on the AITA subreddit. The story came from a Redditor nicknamed Maybeenobaby whose family of eight siblings, all younger than her, “hit the rock bottom.”

“My mother and stepfather are going to be going away for a long time, and everyone is in a rush to get all these kids into homes,” the author explained. And because Maybeenobaby is the only one who’s over 18, everyone expects her to do it.

But now the author feels like there’s finally an opportunity “to have a better life,” so she decided to take the 6-year-old sister and move to another state. Meanwhile, the seven other siblings will have to go to foster care. Quite likely feeling rather guilty, Maybeenobaby wonders if she really made the right decision.

The 19-year-old woman has recently shared how she left her 7 siblings in foster care after her family hit rock bottom in hopes to build a better future

Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo)

 Image credits: BBC Creative (not the actual photo)

Image credits: maybeenobaby

National data (from The Children’s Bureau at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Administration for Children and Families (ACF) published the FY 2020 Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System (AFCARS), which showed that the number of children in foster care had decreased for the third consecutive year in the U.S. As of 2020, there was an estimated 407,000 children in foster care nationwide.

On average, children and teens stay in the foster care system for 12 to 20 months. The majority of foster youth stay with their foster family for 1 to 5 months. At an average age of 7 years old, many children enter the foster care system as a result of living in an unstable home environment, mistreatment, or neglect. Foster care provides children a stable environment for development and growth.

When a child reaches 18-21 years old, which is the post-high school age, they are no longer qualified for foster care placement. It leaves them to find ways to support themselves as part of the general population. However, when children age out, unfortunately, nearly 20% of these young people will end up homeless.

And this is what people commented about this whole situation

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Lee
Community Member
1 month ago

The people getting mad at OP are living in a Disney movie where something spectacular happens and suddenly 8 kids are no burden at all. There are very few adults who are mentally and financially prepared to support all of them and it is unreasonable to ask a teenager to do that.

Honu
Community Member
1 month ago

I'm amazed that social services would even consider placing 8 kids under the care of a 19 year old. That's too much for one person, and at her young age, how can she even start to handle that? It would end up with the two teens sacrificing themselves along with her taking care of the younger ones. Plus, none of them are at an age where they can reasonably be expected to be fully competent parents.

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Biofish23
Community Member
1 month ago

This is being framed entirely the wrong way. EIGHT children have been completely failed by their parents, and a whole lot of adults. One grandmother is willing to step in and take care of her two biological grandchildren. The oldest child should not be made to feel guilty for accepting this help. She is legally an adult, but barely. And there is no way she could reasonably be expected to raise 7 younger siblings. Even if she somehow managed to scrape by financially, there us no way she is emotionally equipped to care for 7 kids all dealing with their own trauma, because clearly this was not a stable home and family already. Hopefully someone will be able to provide these kids with the stable homes they need.

Alice Teasdale
Community Member
1 month ago

I agree; the foster care system may be deeply flawed but there's a chance it will provide more stability for these kids than OP could - even simply by increasing the child:adult ratio

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Casey McAlister
Community Member
1 month ago

I'm 30 and the idea of taking care of 6 kids sends shivers down my spine. They can't possibly expect a 19yo. who is basically a child themself, to take this responsibility.

tl gmc
Community Member
1 month ago

I'm 31 and 1 sends shivers down mine. No 19 year old should go through this.

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Lee
Community Member
1 month ago

The people getting mad at OP are living in a Disney movie where something spectacular happens and suddenly 8 kids are no burden at all. There are very few adults who are mentally and financially prepared to support all of them and it is unreasonable to ask a teenager to do that.

Honu
Community Member
1 month ago

I'm amazed that social services would even consider placing 8 kids under the care of a 19 year old. That's too much for one person, and at her young age, how can she even start to handle that? It would end up with the two teens sacrificing themselves along with her taking care of the younger ones. Plus, none of them are at an age where they can reasonably be expected to be fully competent parents.

Load More Replies...
Biofish23
Community Member
1 month ago

This is being framed entirely the wrong way. EIGHT children have been completely failed by their parents, and a whole lot of adults. One grandmother is willing to step in and take care of her two biological grandchildren. The oldest child should not be made to feel guilty for accepting this help. She is legally an adult, but barely. And there is no way she could reasonably be expected to raise 7 younger siblings. Even if she somehow managed to scrape by financially, there us no way she is emotionally equipped to care for 7 kids all dealing with their own trauma, because clearly this was not a stable home and family already. Hopefully someone will be able to provide these kids with the stable homes they need.

Alice Teasdale
Community Member
1 month ago

I agree; the foster care system may be deeply flawed but there's a chance it will provide more stability for these kids than OP could - even simply by increasing the child:adult ratio

Load More Replies...
Casey McAlister
Community Member
1 month ago

I'm 30 and the idea of taking care of 6 kids sends shivers down my spine. They can't possibly expect a 19yo. who is basically a child themself, to take this responsibility.

tl gmc
Community Member
1 month ago

I'm 31 and 1 sends shivers down mine. No 19 year old should go through this.

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