Woman Graduates From Community College But Her Family Thinks It’s Nothing Compared To Her Cousins’ University Degrees, Drama Ensues
Everyone’s journey is different. So are their milestones. And while you can reflect on the events that have taken place in your life, the people you have crossed paths with, and the lessons you have learned along the way to keep yourself motivated to grow, there’s no point in comparing them to that of someone else’s. Especially if that makes you feel less of a person.
Reddit user SmallEmoChick knows this. Unfortunately, her family does not. Recently, she graduated from a community college. Given all the hurdles she’s had, the woman was over the moon about her achievement. But the people closest to her didn’t share the enthusiasm. They even downplayed it because her cousins went to real schools and got proper degrees.
The woman tried telling her mom about it but even she refused to acknowledge her feelings. Confused if her thoughts and emotions were valid, the graduate told her story to the “Am I the [Jerk]?” community, asking its members to share their honest take on what happened.
Image credits: Brett Jordan (not the actual photo)
Image credits: English106 (not the actual photo)
It’s easy to understand why SmallEmoChick feels devastated. Feeling valued, especially by our closest kin, is one of our core needs. Licensed mental health counselor Sara Schapiro-Halberstam said that approval is vital to us because we associate it with survival.
“In the beginning stages of life, the primal brain helps us develop skills to request our needs. As we develop, it makes a non-discriminatory connection: if we want our needs met, we must ensure that our caregivers approve of us and never reject us … Since the primal brain is unable to make distinctions and operates on broad themes, anytime it senses rejection, it panics, concluding that survival is being threatened. Therefore, we begin developing excellent radar that recognizes how we can gain approval,” Sara Schapiro-Halberstam explained.
As children grow, they gather information about what their parent approves of and what they do not. When a parent disapproves of a particular behavior, the child suppresses the behavior. They fear that this negative behavior will deter parental love and approval, which is a threat to survival. This often happens under the radar, too.
“If a parent overtly says, ‘You are laughing too much’ or covertly disapproves of humor, the child suppresses that trait, leaving seriousness in its place,” Schapiro-Halberstam said. “If a parent seems uncomfortable by the child’s adventurous nature, the child quickly learns that being stable will achieve the goal of acceptance. The child chisels and shapes his/her personality and choices according to what s/he believes will impress his/her parents, encouraging them to continue providing survival necessities.”
Parents know that a child doesn’t need to earn our approval in order to be provided for. If your daughter approached you and asked, ‘Mom, what should I do to earn your love?’ you would be baffled. But even if you expressed to your child that she doesn’t need to earn your love, her primal brain wouldn’t believe you. Our subconscious primal instinct demands that we gain favor in our caregiver’s eyes so they will willingly tend to our needs.
The important thing to understand is that the struggle continues even when the child becomes a young adult, gains independence, and no longer needs parental permission. “He makes his own decisions and waits with bated breath for his parent’s approval. Why? Because approval means having our needs met, and having our needs met means survival,” Schapiro-Halberstam repeated. “Though he is an adult and is able to get what he desires on his own, our primal brain never grows up. As we know, it has no sense of time and is irrational. Forever, the adult child keeps waiting, his primal brain convinced that survival is dependent on parental love and approval. If his parents don’t meet him with approval, he continues to live with fear of death in his shadows.”
When parents try to combat this tug-of-war with logic, that doesn’t help either. “[Moms and dads] expect to see a conscious effort to warrant our approval. We wonder why our child doesn’t make a behavioral change in order to impress us. We are confused as to why he cares so deeply about how we perceive him. Just as parents are confused, so are their children. The primal brain’s messages are instinctual and subconscious.”
So no matter if SmallEmoChick’s mother is thinking that she is being overly dramatic, no matter if the woman herself believes that to be the case, she still needs at least a warm hug and a “Good job” for graduating from community college.
Yeah, I got my Masters in education but since my brother is a neurosurgeon with a PhD., some of the family members were like 'meh, everybody can be a teacher but look at your brother'. Not trying to compare his studies/job and mine but man, that hurt a little.
Dealing well with others and reading people can come with its own brilliance. I just finished reading "A Long Way Home" about Saroo Brierley's odyssey from a five-year-old on the streets to his life as an adoptee in Australia, and I came away thinking that his brilliance is in his ability to read people. One of my in-laws was nicknamed "Lie Detector" in her teens. She's now a prosecutor with a high success rate prosecuting sex offenders. This is someone with a sheltered upper-middle-class childhood. She's also a terrific stepmother who's helped her stepdaughter get past body image issues.
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NTA. The family, horrible. They didn't even take the time to acknowledge that you graduated even with mental health issues and ADHD. I am super proud and you worked so hard! You are not being dramatic. I hope you achieve your dreams and get loving partner.
That. And I believe that every achievement that had honest work put in should be acknowledged and celebrated. We are quick to criticise but painfully slow to praise jobs well done. A 'good job' should come as naturally to say as a 'thank you'.
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I did my basics at community college and it was wonderful, highly suggest that to anyone who is looking for a cheaper way to get higher education (book prices still suck though). The degree she got is different than her cousin's, but I think it sucks we don't congratulate people when they accomplish things they are personally proud of more.
I'm a PhD in academia and I strongly support community colleges.
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For crying out loud, is it really too much to ask of parents to congratulate a child on finsihing something difficult??? Any college degree is work, especially with people who are more burdened than others. NTA
It all starts with the narrative of this article, this is a part of the reason society doesn't recognize community colleges as anything substantial. The author of this article writes "They even downplayed it because her cousins went to real schools and got proper degrees." ....yeah ok....thanks dude. Consider that community colleges are real schools and the degrees they provide are literally proper degrees. Change the narrative.
I taught at a Community College and I am so very proud of you. 2 of my children did Community College for 2 years (same classes as a 4 year school) and now both have their masters. Everyone's path is different in this world, you have succeeded and will continue. I applaud you for your success. From a caring Father
Community College rules! Gives people like me in their late 30s with a GED and a traumatic past a damn chance at some kind of future! Thanks Professor and dad 😊 I am currently attending the Community College of Allegheny County for my associates in computer engineering(auto CAD). 9 CREDITS LEFT! I'll finally be able to walk and graduate like my mom always wanted for me! Without people like you, I wouldn't have a chance. Thank you for the amazing work you do! 👏
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I had a somewhat similar experience, except I graduated at 53 with an advanced diploma in fine art and then at 56 years old with a bachelor's degree in fine art. I was diagnosed with ASD shortly after the beginning of my school journey. My son, daughter and a close friend (none lived close to me) were the only ones who made a point of congratulating me. Not a word of congratulations from any of my siblings. Nobody came to either of my grad art shows. To be fair, the last one was thousands of miles away but the internet doesn't let distance get in the way. I get that people are busy with their lives and can appreciate that, but what I think people don't realize is that one word can make a huge difference in how you remember this achievement. Congratulations!
How exactly is wanting equal acknowledgment "wanting all the attention"?
We’ve never met, and are unlikely to, but, I am SO PROUD of you. You worked through and against odds where most would give up. You, dear heart, are worth so much more than you were led to believe. When you are sold short? Keep the receipt, return the c**p, and exchange it for something that fits! A suit of HONOR, shoes of ACCOMPLISHMENT, and a hand bag large enough to fill with enough with PRIDE. As for you biological family? Let them eat dust, while you cruise through life. This might not mean much. But I wanted to send support.
Let's just be blunt you completed college.(no matter what type) you rock and your family f*****g sucks
All who complete an educational milestone should be congratulated...high school, GED, community college, university...they all need to be proud of their academic work!
Community College is "real" school. Good for you. Enjoy your accomplishments,!
Listen if you were my child, I would celebrate any kind of graduation because it takes a lot to graduate from anything. Just know that you're worthy and that I'm so proud of you. Nice work!
Yeah, I had the same problem. I graduated 9th grade, which is like the first High School here but my Mother said that's nothing, because she was used to a system where elementary school has 7 grades. She did not come to my graduation. I was very disappointed and sad. And it did not help that my Dad came, who I hated at the time. For my next school, which was like a better High School degree, I basically forced her to come. The next after that (best High School and must have to go to collage) I invited my Sister and Aunts instead and at UNI I did not even tell her. It's a life long mental and emotional battle.
An Associates degree and community colleges are nothing to sneer at. The Associates Degree I earned at a 2 year art school is what got me started in graphic arts and saw me (self-taught) through the digital revolution in a career that eventually ended up with me having my own 20 year publishing business. It isn't the degree, but what you learned when working for it and how you apply it in your career/life. Let's see where the Bachelor Degree relatives are in 20-30 years. If they don't go for a Masters, probably in the same middle of the road jobs as most Bachelor Degree holders. No offense intended to those with Bachelors.
College prof here with an Oxbridge PhD. I started at a community college. Anyone who looks down on community college education and the people who access it are losers, idiots, and morons. Community colleges are some of the best local resources. Please don't let some a*****e who claims it's not a "real" education keep you from accessing knowledge, because everything you learn and study is real education.
Remind them that Lauren Boebert (sp?) is an elected official in our government and that didn't even have her GED until a few months before being elected to the House of Representatives. There are also something like 15 other members of the house that don't have a degree beyond a high school diploma. No matter how much c**p they can throw about your "just an associates" degree - you will forever be more well educated than they are.
I'm proud of you. I never wanted to celebrate my achievements since I thought it was nothing. And when I reached something I cared about I had already developed a lifestyle of doing everything alone. So accept that your current first circle of people around you is not as supportive as you want. Think about that and try to figure out how that makes you feel and what would make you feel beter.
Definitely NTA ,,, I don't know you but I want to say congratulations to you. It would have been hard for you with mental health issues but you pushed through and achieved your graduation. Well done sweetheart. Keep your head up and be proud. Your family should be ashamed for making the difference between you and your cousins. Don't let it bother you. Walk tall and keep smiling. You have a great life in front of you. All of us on BP are super proud of you xxx
I had to wait to start at community college (Go Vikings!) until I was 38 due to mental health issues. When I got into Phi Theta Kappa, my mom told me it was no big deal. When I finally graduated, 3 years later, no one came for me at my graduation, my family never even called me. I feel your pain. We are here for you. We support you. We are proud of you. Congratulations! You did it!!!
Definitely NTA!! I'm very proud of you for not giving up on yourself and fighting for your degree. Yes, it's an associates, but YOU ARE A COLLEGE GRADUATE!!! Celebrate you!!!
Our First Lady, Jill Biden is currently a full time professor of English at a community college. I'm sure she would congratulate you heartily. Congrats on your success and all you do!
it doesn't matter where you graduated from - you did it! it is something that many people don't accomplish. i also attended a community college and it was the best thing for me because a 4 yr university would have stressed me out if i had gone there right out of high school. as it was, when i decided to go back to school i figured i would start at the community level to adjust and have my insecurity put in check before going on. you have the chance to continue on to a 4 yr uni or, if the associates fits your needs, move on from there. there is nothing that says you didn't work just as hard as those other people and probably didn't spend as much as well. you do what is good for you. besides, i have met people that attended ivy league universities and some of them still couldn't find their butts with two hands and a flashlight. but, they wave that diploma like a badge of honor, not realizing it makes them look like fools.
Same.... I graduated with a bachelor's but my cousin went to West Point, sooo yup. Always in a shadow. But you know what? My life taught me something important, and hopefully it'll help you too. "Mind over matter, you don't mind because they don't matter" at the end of the day you accomplished your goal and that is a very big thing. Proud of you!!! Congratulations.
NTA, with the emotional problems and ADHD that you mentioned I would be proud, at least some people don't realize this but having emotional issues is really hard to deal with, it's not just a "keep your chin up and continue to smile" thing in fact it feels impossible whenever you are told to do that, and that makes the fact that your family basically ignored you all the worse, especially if they knew 'bout these issues.
That's unfortunate; sorry you didn't get the acknowledgement deserved. It seems disrespectful and insensitive coming from your parents. If they're ashamed of the struggles you had to deal with on your educational journey that's on them. Don't internalize their issues. An associates degree is not 'bottom of the barrel' ; that piece of paper is a symbol of what you put into getting it. Your own family should be ashamed of themselves.
It's terrible when your immediate family, worse a parent can't celebrate individual accomplishments. We all know life is a competition, kids can see that but everyone can still get a word of congratulations. Simple. No one is asking for gifts here. Parents suck, they do. The first ppl who should be in kids corners to help support through life's difficulties and they can't be supportive. Also to note, many good tertiary textbooks are written by professors who also teach at community colleges. Doesn't matter the brand, can we all add 1+1? Then that's great. Be proud of yourself and congratulate yourself first. Celebrate you. Don't wait on others to do it, you will forever be disappointed. A huge congratulations 🎉🎉🎉🎉 to you and cheers to your future steps.
Way to go... education and community college...wow ... taken out to dinner... flowers...leis....gifts...the sky is the limit... what's wrong with celebrating the heck out of it... sorry I don't get these people...life is too short to be so ??? WTH is their problem???
Why do so many people make everything a competition? It's like some folks thrive on making life for everyone difficult and constantly, intentionally going out of their way to bring another person down. Do people not realize how awful they are? Seriously!?!? I don't understand it and it's like people feed of being horrible to their own kind. There's never a moment of understanding or being reasonable towards one another. I honestly don't know how people don't realize how terrible they are. What's sadder is I truly believe they do know and are self aware. They just don't care and anything and everything bad is justified or excused.
You're the smarter one. I can't think of one good reason to shell out the kind of money it takes to get the first 2 years under your belt just to say it was a University education. Many a successful person went to Community or State College. Plus you've taken the high road by congratulating them. And, that they didn't Congratulate you tells you all you need to know about them.
Congrats to this person! Many people just can't handle the college life, understandably, and to get through it is a triumph especially with them having a mental health issue🤙
I had to give up pursuing my bachelors because if I didn't work, my mom and I would become homeless. My brother recently married and his new wife is an NYU student. My mom immediately started comparing us and trying to urge me to go back to school even though we can't afford it. She also doesn't think me pursuing academic theater is a specialized career like my brother's new wife's major is.
How much debt did they incur vs the income they receive? Can they pay it off? Or are they added to all the idiots that didn't think that through? My son went to a vocational school and now makes $2k a week. Income easily paid off the debt.
Nothing to worry about, do what you want, and in the Long run, you laugh last.
A similar situation happened to me in 1987. I went to community college also for many reasons, one it was 5 minutes from my home, cheaper and my Mom saying you will not be able to get in an university so you need to go to community college. So my graduation was in June of 1987, and like you I was very excited & wanted to celebrate but my Mom told me don't expect anyone at the ceremony because it doesn't mean anything. My self-esteem and confidence was shattered and I did not go my graduation. I did end up going to an university but did not receive an degree. My Mom's words and others changed my life to having no self-esteem or confidence. I want to say I am proud of your accomplishment and go celebrate. Do not let anyone stop you for what you want to do or what you achieve.
Ehh, it's old school mentality. My parent all but cut me out after I dropped out of 4 yr university and went to work. My ultimate success in the work field just didn't matter to them. Went back and finished at 37, didn't matter, the damage was already done. Old school parents just do what their parents did to them, you're supposed to follow in line. God help you if you go it alone, because that's exactly what happens. Good luck.
Wow, you graduated! That's huge! The same people who don't support you now are the same people who will be asking you for "help" down the line, when you're doing well for yourself. I wish I send you a little gift or something and I would have loved to be there to watch you turn your tassel. I'm so sorry, I know how you feel. My mother and I, we can't talk bc she's abusive & honestly, if this is what you're dealing with now, I'd recommend going very low contact bc the stuff they say and do (or just don't do) can absolutely cut you deep. One amazing thing about being human, is that you can actually pick your family, if you'd like to. The world is yours, graduate! Never settle for the small minds, dream while you're awake & create a life you're proud of! I'm so very proud of you!
First, Congratulations my dear and May you successfully accomplish all the things You WANT, YOU WANT, I will say it a little louder for the people in your family, You Want, Sweet Love these people are doing their job, Haters Will Hate. If you had successfully completed your doctorate, they will still fell the same. You’re happy, and I am happy for you. And pray these words every day, Lord please remove anybody lying to me, using me for their own entertainment, speaking foul on me behind my back but pretending to love me by wishing me well AMEN. You are going to be happy in what ever you do., I don’t know you but, I am sure of it. Congratulations and be happy
My sister and her husband, and my cousin and his wife were the only ones in my family to recognize when I graduated from law school. My father and my brother denied I even went. We treasure those who show up for us. Those of us on here are now showing up for you. A million congrats, dear!
DEAR GRADUATE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU SO OVERJOYED AS THOUGH YOU WERE MY DAUGHTER I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES THANKING GOD FOR SUCH A STRONG MOTIVATED SUCCESS YOU ARE I LOVE YOUR STORY I LOVE YOUR SHARING WITH EVERYONE THAT NEEDS THAT EXTRA PUSH IN LIFE THAT HOPE AND ENCOURAGEMENT TO NEVER GIVE UP DONT LET ANYONE STAND IN THE WAY OF YOUR DREAM SO PROUD OF YOU IF YOU WERE MY DAUGHTER WE WOULD CELEBRATE I WOULD BE TELLING EVERYONE WHAT A INSPIRATION MY DAUGHTER IS THROUGH IT SHE DID IT SHE IS A GRADUATE ALREADY HELPING DO MANY THAT NEEDED TO HEAR HER STORY OF INSPIRATION THANKYOU GODBLESS YOU YOUR FUTURE YOUR LIFE LOVELIFEFREE
I super proud of you. Don't worry about what your family thinks. You be proud of you!
CONGRATULATIONS !!! people should appreciate their individual achievements whenever possible ! You know how hard you worked , I say let them eat cake !
NTA!!! CONGRATULATIONS!! YOU MADE IT!! YOUR MOTHER IS ABUSIVE. AS FOR DEGREES, my sister, bless her heart, has many Ph.D's and yet I am the one who has to help her find her way out of the paper bags in life DESPITE BOTH ENDS ARE WIDE OPEN!!! (BTW, where did your mother get HER Post Docs?). To say the least, YOU are NOT the drama queen here. You should be proud of your accomplishments and DON'T let anyone rain on your parade!!! I started at a Comm. College and enjiyed taking some time to assess what I wanted to do, deal with a serious physical health problem, and learn that my degree would NOT define me OR who I am. It is ONLY the direction of you pursuits in life, and where your interests take you. It does NOT DEFINE YOU. But. I doubt you can say that to your cousins or your mother. They,d need degrees in Philosophy to see the picture.They have accomplished ALOT, very clearly. But, as a person, you meet your own very high standards. And THAT is what HIGHER education is REALLY about.
I went to my graduation ceremony for my degree in community college. I didn't even go to the graduation ceremony when I received my Masters in Digital Forensics. I remember being proud of my first achievement better than any of my others.
Congratulations I understand completely it's not about wanting attention it about feeling a sense of someone besides you being proud of you. The one commenting about hiw she would feel if no one said happy birthday shut the hell up you should like a complete imbecile. Your so ignorant to the situation . It's ridiculous !!! Your probably a old hag with cats anyway! But we are proud of you college is hard none the less whether it's community College or a university. I'm proud of you know continue to do well by yourself and Forget anyone that doesn't have the same standards. If they not happy for you in your greatness they don't need to be around you. Keep them at a distance. Find people that understands you
The minimalist accomplishment your family feels you achieved speaks volumes about their own sadness...and that they place the accomplishments of your cousins as being so much more vaulted and commendable is pathetic at the very least. Be proud...hell, be ECSTATIC...at your achievement, especially that you achieved it ON YOUR OWN! We may be strangers, but we're VERY proud of you!!!
Just the fact that she continued school with ADHD is a huge achievement. People think that just because people with ADHD don't look different or necessarily act too different that they're just like them. No, life's way more difficult. Yk a person can literally die from an information overload?
My daughter has 4 degrees from a prestigious university and my wife is a school principal with advanced degrees. I’m the “dummy” in the family who also went to a community college and it took me ten years working full time before I got my bachelors. On the plus side I also started and run a multimillion dollar business so don’t knock community college! There are many Ivy League grads that have told me they wished they could trade places with me. Keep going and continue to believe in yourself and CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Community colleges are just as good, if not better, than 4-year schools, and a whole lot cheaper. I attended one that required an minimum of a Masters Degree to even be able to think about teaching, but then you only taught a class as a substitute. A full professorship required a Doctorate or equivalent in your field.
Many people become big people and do their own business etc and do better than some with all that book knowledge . Life will teach them a thing or two. Congratulations u made it how and how much YOU want to or maybe could afford. U r somebody. Keep your head up. Prove them wrong
Congtatulations! I went to Community college while married and raising my 2 girls at free college close to home with excellent teachers at 30.My professors encouraged and praised me.I changed major to Political Science after my first PS class inspired me to become peace activist. You have every reason to be proud. I got my BA 2 years later.My daughter also got associate degree.We all attended her graduation.She worked hard for her degree too!
NTA...your family on the other hand, major assholes...you have worked hard and earned a degree, despite your struggles, and I am so proud of you!! You're not being dramatic for wanting your family, your own parents, to acknowledge your achievement and be proud of you...your dedication to earning your degree should be celebrated...hard NTA...many hugs 🤗🤗
NTA. I went through a family issue over something else. You should not trust your family to see your worth as an individual. They showed their true colors so be closed off to them. They shouldn't see you as less than just bc your path is different. You're doing awesome! Congratulations!
Awesome job! I'm a guidance counsellor and teacher. And I'm betting you land a job first! To me there is no heirarchy for education. My son wants to go into trades and I'm super happy about that. I have a few friends with University degrees and are not "using them". You had to study, you had to write tests. You deserve every bit of praise as the others. Length of time is irrelevant too. Great work, be proud. Get your College shirt and wear it proudly to the next get together.
When I read this I was amazed at your story, and how can to make some changes with my children but I always congratulate them on their success whether it be svool grades or sports, I'm big on that because I myself never experienced that ft my parents growing up . Congratulations on your success keep striving for the best! You have a friend in me! 🥰❤️
Our First Lady, Jill Biden is a full time professor at a community college- she would send congrats from her heart! Good luck on your success and all you do!
Congratulations on your major life accomplishment! Community College is really the best! It was my lifeline back into education (I'm now a PhD student at age 64) and rekindled my deep love of learning. At CC I studied with professors from the surrounding top tier universities and made important friends and connections. I was able to return to school after taking decades off, and it was all possible due to my Community College experience. May you enjoy every moment on your journey, whatever path YOU choose 💜 You worked hard and you've done well!
NTA. Graduation deserves celebration. It does not matter what the degree is. Your associates degree is just as important as your cousin's bachelor's degree.
NTA Congratulations It does not matter what degree you've accomplished some of the most successful people I know do not even have high school diplomas they are millionaires and billionaires and very sick airs and billionaires and very successful at their business practices I own my own business for many years with no degree And have been quite blessed So focus on your future not on those around you and beside you And you will be just fine don't ever let that negativity invade your Positivity congratulations again and best of luck do everything in your life without fear you and you will be just fine
Of course NTA, they definitely should have congratulated you. As someone who also has ADHD, I know how much harder it is, and I’m super proud of you :)
My dear young buddy ! If you happen to live anywhere near NYC, please find a way to contact me! I want to celebrate your outstanding achievement at the Lincoln Center SMITH restaurant ( best sticky toffee pudding you’ll ever taste !) my treat! My family were also like this about my milestones. I’m pretty up there in age now😝, so I’ve had time ( and therapy😠) to learn, it wasn’t me, it was THEM… it was also their family of origin! They don’t matter in YOUR destiny ! We do ! Hahaha! We know what you did was fantastic ! Choose carefully ! Be proud, kind and nurtured ! I’m so happy for you !
YOU DID IT !!!! Against the odds! Super proud of you ! No only that but God allowed me to come across your post and find an unexpected blessing ! My 6yo is newly diagnosed and I struggle AND.see h struggle to meet the demands on a primary level ! I You took on this challenge and saw it through ! You shared unfair treatment and really it's a testimony of victory ! CONGRATULATIONS and God bless you and what ever you dream to do !
I started my educational career with Community College. Now I have a Masters in Professional Counseling. Everything started with my Community College! She's better off celebrating with people who truly care, not those ignorant enough to think she didn't work to earn a degree. They just don't give them away!
It's really tough and disappointing, but the good thing to take out of it is that YOU know what you've achieved and what it took, and you now know who your real friends are if you didn't before. Sounds silly, but that's much, much better than the other way round, and that in itself to me shows what a long way you've come and how you're overcoming the MH problems. You're doing much better than I did (took me 10 years to give myself permission to go against my family and do a degree, and when I got a first and a couple of awards they told me it didn't count because I was older - and I let them make me believe it). You're still so young with your life ahead of you: you'll do another degree when the time's right if you want to.
NTA. Your family sux. I'm only doing a 6 month course at TAFE and have already received a fair bit of praise for my efforts. Be proud of your achievement no matter what anyone else says or doesn't say. Good on you.
You are accomplished and amazing! You did it!!! You got your degree!!! I am extremely excited for you and hope for you all the best to happen. I understand the importance of education and that degree. I am from a family of "Masters" and I lack about a dozen hours from having a bachelor's, yet I don't have my associates -algebra kills my mind and soul plus a bipolar mind that blocks some things- I PROMISE YOU HAVE EARNED EVERY CONGRATULATIONS YOU'VE GOTTEN TO READ AND MORE!!! I am so happy for you and proud of you!!! Best part- NO ONE CAN EVER TAKE THAT DEGREE AWAY!!! IT IS ALL YOURS AND ONLY YOURS!!!
I am 37 and in community College obtaining my associates in computer aided drafting. I started college for the first time at 35. I too had some set backs that delayed my graduation til next summer. I will still get it and be proud. My younger brother went to a university and got his batchelors years ago. I went when I was ready, I wasn't for years. My brother went right out of high school and hasn't used his degree at all. He has massive student loans I do not. Community College is affordable that's one positive. Second I can transfer to big university if I want. My parents are proud of both of us as the individuals we are. Everyone has their ups and downs and OP, you should never feel shame of what you earned. Your years ahead of me! You should be so proud of yourself and your family should too! You are not the a-hole at all. I too have ADD and I see it as a advantage as I learn differently and quicker than most. There are lots of us out there!
Congratulations on finishing plus you got a degree! Depending on what you want to do will determine if you can go right out in the workforce or if you want to continue on in your studies. Don't be fooled by the Bachelors Degrees, they aren't all that grand! You studied hard and overcame a big obstacle to get your degree! You should be very proud of yourself! I'm proud of you for doing what a lot can't. Put your shoulders back and walk with your head held high. You are worthy of accolades!!
Nta I had a similar situation. I was graduating from the local tech college. My sister got engaged and I respectfully asked her to not set her wedding on my graduation date. Of course she did. Then I was the a**hole for being upset about it and ruining her joy. I was her maid of honor but felt like I meant nothing to anyone. You won’t change how others’ think, be proud of yourself. You earned it.
NTA. CONGRATULATIONS. You can't choose your family but you can choose who to surround yourself with. You got your degree, I know of people that went to university & never graduated. You accomplished more than a lot of people
I'm sorry that you feel this way, it doesn't seem like your family agrees with you that it's a real achievement. I completely understand how you feel, I have a family member who doesn't feel that me not having a degree means that I haven't done anything with my life. You can do your schooling at your own pace.
My family feels the same way about 2 of my nieces who both graduated high school in 2014. One niece headed off to pursue her 4 year bachelor of nursing at state school, she had graduated top 10% and in the honors program. The other had taken a pre-LVN course her senior year at the tech school associated with her HS. She graduated in the top third of 100 person senior class. She passed the boards, just before heading to basic training for the Army reserves. She used that money to get her ASN. She was immediately hired as an RN by the hospital she had been working as an LVN. Seven years after graduating HS state school cousin finally has her BSN partly because of the pandemic, but mostly because her school had too few class slots and she often was on a waiting list. The family were extremely proud of this, even the parents of ASN. The family was PISSED when BSN got hired at the same hospital and found out her boss was ASN. Family asked ASN to quit for BSN's bruised ego.
NTA! ANY attempt to better yourself is worthy of praise. AS, BS, MS, PH.D, ALL are praiseworthy. It's doubly momentous when the person has physical, mental or emotional challenges. I have an associates and a bachelor's. Your family is diminishing your achievement.
My mom went back to college in her 40's. She took one or two classes a semester. She graduated with her Assoc degree at the same time as I did with my BS from the same college. At first, I didn't want her to graduate with me. I know, very selfish. It turned out to be the best experience. Her family didn't even know about. She didn't tell anybody. SMH PS My college and attached CC had the highest ratio of older/returning students in the nation. University of Alaska Fairbanks Go Nanooks!!
I went to both and the CC is harder. You need at least C grade to pass a class. 4 year, you can pass with a D. Congratulations for all the hard work you did to graduate. Your cousins could have skated through with the minimum.
i went to a two-year community college for almost ten years, ended up graduating with two associates degrees because i changed majors partway through. those were some of the best years of my life, so many amazing, excellent teachers and experiences, and i did it all on scholarships and financial aid. i'd go back and do more if i thought i could physically and mentally handle it (i have multiple chronic conditions; a desk and chair setup more than two days a week would leave me in significant pain, and my brain fog is quite bad most days). i had a part-time job working in the campus library, i did work study a couple of semesters in the environmental science lab, it was all fantastic. and the school i went to is the #1 community college in the state, several years in a row! never let anyone tell you that community college is somehow inferior, because most of the time, that's not going to be the case.
First good for u for getring through collage. But what really ticks me off is how people treat others oh look they got something better which makes them better but fail to see that first it cost money and with a failing dying economy its near impossible to also its that kinda c**p that is ending this country in the end all the masters and PhD wont matter when the u.s goes into a civil war in 2 years or when the economy finally goes down in a few years people need to wake up stop trying to act better then others and just enjoy eachother beacuse I can tell you all right now times ticking so just enjoy life its not like all the money you could get or all the fame will matter in the end it does not carry over in the afterlife and it wont matter when the u.s and the economy die. Also I know people will say that wont happen heres what I say to this when your a gifted social analysis and have a unique understanding of goverments and groups then you to would see the signs.
I feel for you. Not about graduation, anyway i always wish my cousins birthday, all the best, congrats for their achievements. But I never receive a similar treatment from father's side cousins, they pretty much ignore me which made me feel sucks tbh... Luckily my nuclear family and mom's side relatives are always supportive...
It took me a long time to get my bachelor's degree, but I finally did it in 2015. At the time, I was doing home health for my dad's sister and I told her that I needed to take a day off for the graduation ceremony and she was not happy. Later, I told my uncle on my mom's side about the ceremony and he chose to attend customer appreciation day at our local pharmacy rather than watch me graduate. It all worked out though because the people that wanted to be there were there and that's all that mattered.
Holy c**p. Nearly the same thing happened to me back in 2006. My younger brother, his now wife, one cousin and one more of us graduated in the same month. From universities. I graduated too. From community college. Huge graduation party. For the university grads. They all got gifts and the acknowledgment. I was told I was embarrassing people when they asked when I was graduating and I told them I had also graduated. I had no idea what to think. (Also, all of those graduates lived in one area and I had to take a train ride 12 hours to get there.). Holy hell. You’re not the a*****e. Apparently we’re just large embarrassments.
If the family dont At least congratulate you something is Wrong, you should have at least been congratulated for the time you put in the energy you put in and mental strain you endured trying to get there and if you are not worth a congratulations then they are not worth your time...
You deserve a lot of credit! I got my undergrad late in life at 38. I paid for it myself. My mother’s comment was ‘Thank God your partner kept her foot on the back of your neck and made you study.’ She did not attend my graduation. I was the first person in our family to get a degree. I can’t imagine working toward a degree and struggling with ADHD. Keep going. You have a lot of support here with us! Obviously, you can do anything!!!
I'm sorry this happened. But, how did it make top news? Because I have. An insane family that makes shameless seem normal lol.
She should have replied with "Hey Congratulations! Guess what? I just graduated too!! Hey we should all get together and celebrate our achievements." It's possible the cousins and aunts and uncles didn't realize that she wanted to be acknowledged as well. Just got caught up in their own achievements. Her mother though... What IS her Fking problem? I wouldn't say she wanted ALL of the attention, just a little bit of it.
All college is college. All higher education is higher. Community College is not the bottom of the barrel. It is the first step of the long journey.
NTA!! You managed to graduate from community college while dealing with ADHD, and that's a huge achievement in itself!! Meanwhile, your cousins graduated from four-year universities and everyone including your own mom congratulated them while ignoring your achievements ("Well you graduated from community college, big deal, but THEY graduated from REAL SCHOOLS!!")!! I'm gonna bet that those cousins will congratulate YOU personally and force the other family members to acknowledge you (hey, I can dream)!
NTA. Bet your education cost one f**k of a lot less than your "traditional 4 year" cousins. Good for you for saving money and doing what's right for YOU.
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Further education not necessary for everyone. Why would the important people who collect our garbage need a degree? Why does the friendly lady scanning my groceries need to spend money she does not have for a piece of paper? The godsend who helps me clean my house once a week was needed at home when she left high school to look after here terminally ill mother.
2 things can be true. 1) That was pretty rude and hurtful of her mother; education should always be lauded and would it be such an issue to grab her some flowers and a cupcake? Her immediate family could have celebrated a little.... AND 2) an Associate's just is not a big deal. I've never known anyone to make a big deal out of a 2 yr degree at a community college. She wanted the same recognition as her cousins for less than half the work. Congratulations, great job and also get over yourself.
As soon as I read the 'look at what defect I have so everything I accomplish is so much more difficult for me than anyone else' I quit reading.
Personally... The cousin's got better grades, got into a better school, worked harder while there (away from home), and got a better degree. First place gets a trophy. Last place has to be happy with a pay on the back. Otherwise... Why bust your a*s at the major university if the end result is the same. She got overshadowed. Tough s**t. My brother had 4 kids by 4 different women. I preferred love and marriage first, and thus, had none. He's now the favorite and I haven't heard from my mother since, she's too busy with the grandkids. I got overshadowed. That's how life works
Am I the only one who thinks this person is being overly thirsty? I went to both types of schools, and yes there is a difference between community college and a 4 year. There is also a difference in private vs. public. Pretending they are the same is delusional. Yes, you can transfer to a 4 year university, but an Associates degree from a community college means little.
Yeah it sucks but graduating from university is a big deal and let's face it, you're feeling jealous and inadequate. Instead of throwing yourself a pity party use that energy to keep furthering your education and career. They deserve all the congrats they worked very hard
Sounds like she also worked very hard. It's not unreasonable to expect a small amount of support from her family for her achievement.
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Many people, including young adults, live with the hope that their family of origin will support them. Also, a disability (learning and mental health) can make it harder to read people. For many perceptive people, this impaired ability is a very hard concept to understand. Accepting it and explaining things to the person can be very helpful.
Load More Replies... Yeah, I got my Masters in education but since my brother is a neurosurgeon with a PhD., some of the family members were like 'meh, everybody can be a teacher but look at your brother'. Not trying to compare his studies/job and mine but man, that hurt a little.
Dealing well with others and reading people can come with its own brilliance. I just finished reading "A Long Way Home" about Saroo Brierley's odyssey from a five-year-old on the streets to his life as an adoptee in Australia, and I came away thinking that his brilliance is in his ability to read people. One of my in-laws was nicknamed "Lie Detector" in her teens. She's now a prosecutor with a high success rate prosecuting sex offenders. This is someone with a sheltered upper-middle-class childhood. She's also a terrific stepmother who's helped her stepdaughter get past body image issues.
Load More Replies... NTA. The family, horrible. They didn't even take the time to acknowledge that you graduated even with mental health issues and ADHD. I am super proud and you worked so hard! You are not being dramatic. I hope you achieve your dreams and get loving partner.
That. And I believe that every achievement that had honest work put in should be acknowledged and celebrated. We are quick to criticise but painfully slow to praise jobs well done. A 'good job' should come as naturally to say as a 'thank you'.
Load More Replies... I did my basics at community college and it was wonderful, highly suggest that to anyone who is looking for a cheaper way to get higher education (book prices still suck though). The degree she got is different than her cousin's, but I think it sucks we don't congratulate people when they accomplish things they are personally proud of more.
I'm a PhD in academia and I strongly support community colleges.
Load More Replies... For crying out loud, is it really too much to ask of parents to congratulate a child on finsihing something difficult??? Any college degree is work, especially with people who are more burdened than others. NTA
It all starts with the narrative of this article, this is a part of the reason society doesn't recognize community colleges as anything substantial. The author of this article writes "They even downplayed it because her cousins went to real schools and got proper degrees." ....yeah ok....thanks dude. Consider that community colleges are real schools and the degrees they provide are literally proper degrees. Change the narrative.
I taught at a Community College and I am so very proud of you. 2 of my children did Community College for 2 years (same classes as a 4 year school) and now both have their masters. Everyone's path is different in this world, you have succeeded and will continue. I applaud you for your success. From a caring Father
Community College rules! Gives people like me in their late 30s with a GED and a traumatic past a damn chance at some kind of future! Thanks Professor and dad 😊 I am currently attending the Community College of Allegheny County for my associates in computer engineering(auto CAD). 9 CREDITS LEFT! I'll finally be able to walk and graduate like my mom always wanted for me! Without people like you, I wouldn't have a chance. Thank you for the amazing work you do! 👏
Load More Replies... I had a somewhat similar experience, except I graduated at 53 with an advanced diploma in fine art and then at 56 years old with a bachelor's degree in fine art. I was diagnosed with ASD shortly after the beginning of my school journey. My son, daughter and a close friend (none lived close to me) were the only ones who made a point of congratulating me. Not a word of congratulations from any of my siblings. Nobody came to either of my grad art shows. To be fair, the last one was thousands of miles away but the internet doesn't let distance get in the way. I get that people are busy with their lives and can appreciate that, but what I think people don't realize is that one word can make a huge difference in how you remember this achievement. Congratulations!
How exactly is wanting equal acknowledgment "wanting all the attention"?
We’ve never met, and are unlikely to, but, I am SO PROUD of you. You worked through and against odds where most would give up. You, dear heart, are worth so much more than you were led to believe. When you are sold short? Keep the receipt, return the c**p, and exchange it for something that fits! A suit of HONOR, shoes of ACCOMPLISHMENT, and a hand bag large enough to fill with enough with PRIDE. As for you biological family? Let them eat dust, while you cruise through life. This might not mean much. But I wanted to send support.
Let's just be blunt you completed college.(no matter what type) you rock and your family f*****g sucks
All who complete an educational milestone should be congratulated...high school, GED, community college, university...they all need to be proud of their academic work!
Community College is "real" school. Good for you. Enjoy your accomplishments,!
Listen if you were my child, I would celebrate any kind of graduation because it takes a lot to graduate from anything. Just know that you're worthy and that I'm so proud of you. Nice work!
Yeah, I had the same problem. I graduated 9th grade, which is like the first High School here but my Mother said that's nothing, because she was used to a system where elementary school has 7 grades. She did not come to my graduation. I was very disappointed and sad. And it did not help that my Dad came, who I hated at the time. For my next school, which was like a better High School degree, I basically forced her to come. The next after that (best High School and must have to go to collage) I invited my Sister and Aunts instead and at UNI I did not even tell her. It's a life long mental and emotional battle.
An Associates degree and community colleges are nothing to sneer at. The Associates Degree I earned at a 2 year art school is what got me started in graphic arts and saw me (self-taught) through the digital revolution in a career that eventually ended up with me having my own 20 year publishing business. It isn't the degree, but what you learned when working for it and how you apply it in your career/life. Let's see where the Bachelor Degree relatives are in 20-30 years. If they don't go for a Masters, probably in the same middle of the road jobs as most Bachelor Degree holders. No offense intended to those with Bachelors.
College prof here with an Oxbridge PhD. I started at a community college. Anyone who looks down on community college education and the people who access it are losers, idiots, and morons. Community colleges are some of the best local resources. Please don't let some a*****e who claims it's not a "real" education keep you from accessing knowledge, because everything you learn and study is real education.
Remind them that Lauren Boebert (sp?) is an elected official in our government and that didn't even have her GED until a few months before being elected to the House of Representatives. There are also something like 15 other members of the house that don't have a degree beyond a high school diploma. No matter how much c**p they can throw about your "just an associates" degree - you will forever be more well educated than they are.
I'm proud of you. I never wanted to celebrate my achievements since I thought it was nothing. And when I reached something I cared about I had already developed a lifestyle of doing everything alone. So accept that your current first circle of people around you is not as supportive as you want. Think about that and try to figure out how that makes you feel and what would make you feel beter.
Definitely NTA ,,, I don't know you but I want to say congratulations to you. It would have been hard for you with mental health issues but you pushed through and achieved your graduation. Well done sweetheart. Keep your head up and be proud. Your family should be ashamed for making the difference between you and your cousins. Don't let it bother you. Walk tall and keep smiling. You have a great life in front of you. All of us on BP are super proud of you xxx
I had to wait to start at community college (Go Vikings!) until I was 38 due to mental health issues. When I got into Phi Theta Kappa, my mom told me it was no big deal. When I finally graduated, 3 years later, no one came for me at my graduation, my family never even called me. I feel your pain. We are here for you. We support you. We are proud of you. Congratulations! You did it!!!
Definitely NTA!! I'm very proud of you for not giving up on yourself and fighting for your degree. Yes, it's an associates, but YOU ARE A COLLEGE GRADUATE!!! Celebrate you!!!
Our First Lady, Jill Biden is currently a full time professor of English at a community college. I'm sure she would congratulate you heartily. Congrats on your success and all you do!
it doesn't matter where you graduated from - you did it! it is something that many people don't accomplish. i also attended a community college and it was the best thing for me because a 4 yr university would have stressed me out if i had gone there right out of high school. as it was, when i decided to go back to school i figured i would start at the community level to adjust and have my insecurity put in check before going on. you have the chance to continue on to a 4 yr uni or, if the associates fits your needs, move on from there. there is nothing that says you didn't work just as hard as those other people and probably didn't spend as much as well. you do what is good for you. besides, i have met people that attended ivy league universities and some of them still couldn't find their butts with two hands and a flashlight. but, they wave that diploma like a badge of honor, not realizing it makes them look like fools.
Same.... I graduated with a bachelor's but my cousin went to West Point, sooo yup. Always in a shadow. But you know what? My life taught me something important, and hopefully it'll help you too. "Mind over matter, you don't mind because they don't matter" at the end of the day you accomplished your goal and that is a very big thing. Proud of you!!! Congratulations.
NTA, with the emotional problems and ADHD that you mentioned I would be proud, at least some people don't realize this but having emotional issues is really hard to deal with, it's not just a "keep your chin up and continue to smile" thing in fact it feels impossible whenever you are told to do that, and that makes the fact that your family basically ignored you all the worse, especially if they knew 'bout these issues.
That's unfortunate; sorry you didn't get the acknowledgement deserved. It seems disrespectful and insensitive coming from your parents. If they're ashamed of the struggles you had to deal with on your educational journey that's on them. Don't internalize their issues. An associates degree is not 'bottom of the barrel' ; that piece of paper is a symbol of what you put into getting it. Your own family should be ashamed of themselves.
It's terrible when your immediate family, worse a parent can't celebrate individual accomplishments. We all know life is a competition, kids can see that but everyone can still get a word of congratulations. Simple. No one is asking for gifts here. Parents suck, they do. The first ppl who should be in kids corners to help support through life's difficulties and they can't be supportive. Also to note, many good tertiary textbooks are written by professors who also teach at community colleges. Doesn't matter the brand, can we all add 1+1? Then that's great. Be proud of yourself and congratulate yourself first. Celebrate you. Don't wait on others to do it, you will forever be disappointed. A huge congratulations 🎉🎉🎉🎉 to you and cheers to your future steps.
Way to go... education and community college...wow ... taken out to dinner... flowers...leis....gifts...the sky is the limit... what's wrong with celebrating the heck out of it... sorry I don't get these people...life is too short to be so ??? WTH is their problem???
Why do so many people make everything a competition? It's like some folks thrive on making life for everyone difficult and constantly, intentionally going out of their way to bring another person down. Do people not realize how awful they are? Seriously!?!? I don't understand it and it's like people feed of being horrible to their own kind. There's never a moment of understanding or being reasonable towards one another. I honestly don't know how people don't realize how terrible they are. What's sadder is I truly believe they do know and are self aware. They just don't care and anything and everything bad is justified or excused.
You're the smarter one. I can't think of one good reason to shell out the kind of money it takes to get the first 2 years under your belt just to say it was a University education. Many a successful person went to Community or State College. Plus you've taken the high road by congratulating them. And, that they didn't Congratulate you tells you all you need to know about them.
Congrats to this person! Many people just can't handle the college life, understandably, and to get through it is a triumph especially with them having a mental health issue🤙
I had to give up pursuing my bachelors because if I didn't work, my mom and I would become homeless. My brother recently married and his new wife is an NYU student. My mom immediately started comparing us and trying to urge me to go back to school even though we can't afford it. She also doesn't think me pursuing academic theater is a specialized career like my brother's new wife's major is.
How much debt did they incur vs the income they receive? Can they pay it off? Or are they added to all the idiots that didn't think that through? My son went to a vocational school and now makes $2k a week. Income easily paid off the debt.
Nothing to worry about, do what you want, and in the Long run, you laugh last.
A similar situation happened to me in 1987. I went to community college also for many reasons, one it was 5 minutes from my home, cheaper and my Mom saying you will not be able to get in an university so you need to go to community college. So my graduation was in June of 1987, and like you I was very excited & wanted to celebrate but my Mom told me don't expect anyone at the ceremony because it doesn't mean anything. My self-esteem and confidence was shattered and I did not go my graduation. I did end up going to an university but did not receive an degree. My Mom's words and others changed my life to having no self-esteem or confidence. I want to say I am proud of your accomplishment and go celebrate. Do not let anyone stop you for what you want to do or what you achieve.
Ehh, it's old school mentality. My parent all but cut me out after I dropped out of 4 yr university and went to work. My ultimate success in the work field just didn't matter to them. Went back and finished at 37, didn't matter, the damage was already done. Old school parents just do what their parents did to them, you're supposed to follow in line. God help you if you go it alone, because that's exactly what happens. Good luck.
Wow, you graduated! That's huge! The same people who don't support you now are the same people who will be asking you for "help" down the line, when you're doing well for yourself. I wish I send you a little gift or something and I would have loved to be there to watch you turn your tassel. I'm so sorry, I know how you feel. My mother and I, we can't talk bc she's abusive & honestly, if this is what you're dealing with now, I'd recommend going very low contact bc the stuff they say and do (or just don't do) can absolutely cut you deep. One amazing thing about being human, is that you can actually pick your family, if you'd like to. The world is yours, graduate! Never settle for the small minds, dream while you're awake & create a life you're proud of! I'm so very proud of you!
First, Congratulations my dear and May you successfully accomplish all the things You WANT, YOU WANT, I will say it a little louder for the people in your family, You Want, Sweet Love these people are doing their job, Haters Will Hate. If you had successfully completed your doctorate, they will still fell the same. You’re happy, and I am happy for you. And pray these words every day, Lord please remove anybody lying to me, using me for their own entertainment, speaking foul on me behind my back but pretending to love me by wishing me well AMEN. You are going to be happy in what ever you do., I don’t know you but, I am sure of it. Congratulations and be happy
My sister and her husband, and my cousin and his wife were the only ones in my family to recognize when I graduated from law school. My father and my brother denied I even went. We treasure those who show up for us. Those of us on here are now showing up for you. A million congrats, dear!
DEAR GRADUATE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU SO OVERJOYED AS THOUGH YOU WERE MY DAUGHTER I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES THANKING GOD FOR SUCH A STRONG MOTIVATED SUCCESS YOU ARE I LOVE YOUR STORY I LOVE YOUR SHARING WITH EVERYONE THAT NEEDS THAT EXTRA PUSH IN LIFE THAT HOPE AND ENCOURAGEMENT TO NEVER GIVE UP DONT LET ANYONE STAND IN THE WAY OF YOUR DREAM SO PROUD OF YOU IF YOU WERE MY DAUGHTER WE WOULD CELEBRATE I WOULD BE TELLING EVERYONE WHAT A INSPIRATION MY DAUGHTER IS THROUGH IT SHE DID IT SHE IS A GRADUATE ALREADY HELPING DO MANY THAT NEEDED TO HEAR HER STORY OF INSPIRATION THANKYOU GODBLESS YOU YOUR FUTURE YOUR LIFE LOVELIFEFREE
I super proud of you. Don't worry about what your family thinks. You be proud of you!
CONGRATULATIONS !!! people should appreciate their individual achievements whenever possible ! You know how hard you worked , I say let them eat cake !
NTA!!! CONGRATULATIONS!! YOU MADE IT!! YOUR MOTHER IS ABUSIVE. AS FOR DEGREES, my sister, bless her heart, has many Ph.D's and yet I am the one who has to help her find her way out of the paper bags in life DESPITE BOTH ENDS ARE WIDE OPEN!!! (BTW, where did your mother get HER Post Docs?). To say the least, YOU are NOT the drama queen here. You should be proud of your accomplishments and DON'T let anyone rain on your parade!!! I started at a Comm. College and enjiyed taking some time to assess what I wanted to do, deal with a serious physical health problem, and learn that my degree would NOT define me OR who I am. It is ONLY the direction of you pursuits in life, and where your interests take you. It does NOT DEFINE YOU. But. I doubt you can say that to your cousins or your mother. They,d need degrees in Philosophy to see the picture.They have accomplished ALOT, very clearly. But, as a person, you meet your own very high standards. And THAT is what HIGHER education is REALLY about.
I went to my graduation ceremony for my degree in community college. I didn't even go to the graduation ceremony when I received my Masters in Digital Forensics. I remember being proud of my first achievement better than any of my others.
Congratulations I understand completely it's not about wanting attention it about feeling a sense of someone besides you being proud of you. The one commenting about hiw she would feel if no one said happy birthday shut the hell up you should like a complete imbecile. Your so ignorant to the situation . It's ridiculous !!! Your probably a old hag with cats anyway! But we are proud of you college is hard none the less whether it's community College or a university. I'm proud of you know continue to do well by yourself and Forget anyone that doesn't have the same standards. If they not happy for you in your greatness they don't need to be around you. Keep them at a distance. Find people that understands you
The minimalist accomplishment your family feels you achieved speaks volumes about their own sadness...and that they place the accomplishments of your cousins as being so much more vaulted and commendable is pathetic at the very least. Be proud...hell, be ECSTATIC...at your achievement, especially that you achieved it ON YOUR OWN! We may be strangers, but we're VERY proud of you!!!
Just the fact that she continued school with ADHD is a huge achievement. People think that just because people with ADHD don't look different or necessarily act too different that they're just like them. No, life's way more difficult. Yk a person can literally die from an information overload?
My daughter has 4 degrees from a prestigious university and my wife is a school principal with advanced degrees. I’m the “dummy” in the family who also went to a community college and it took me ten years working full time before I got my bachelors. On the plus side I also started and run a multimillion dollar business so don’t knock community college! There are many Ivy League grads that have told me they wished they could trade places with me. Keep going and continue to believe in yourself and CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Community colleges are just as good, if not better, than 4-year schools, and a whole lot cheaper. I attended one that required an minimum of a Masters Degree to even be able to think about teaching, but then you only taught a class as a substitute. A full professorship required a Doctorate or equivalent in your field.
Many people become big people and do their own business etc and do better than some with all that book knowledge . Life will teach them a thing or two. Congratulations u made it how and how much YOU want to or maybe could afford. U r somebody. Keep your head up. Prove them wrong
Congtatulations! I went to Community college while married and raising my 2 girls at free college close to home with excellent teachers at 30.My professors encouraged and praised me.I changed major to Political Science after my first PS class inspired me to become peace activist. You have every reason to be proud. I got my BA 2 years later.My daughter also got associate degree.We all attended her graduation.She worked hard for her degree too!
NTA...your family on the other hand, major assholes...you have worked hard and earned a degree, despite your struggles, and I am so proud of you!! You're not being dramatic for wanting your family, your own parents, to acknowledge your achievement and be proud of you...your dedication to earning your degree should be celebrated...hard NTA...many hugs 🤗🤗
NTA. I went through a family issue over something else. You should not trust your family to see your worth as an individual. They showed their true colors so be closed off to them. They shouldn't see you as less than just bc your path is different. You're doing awesome! Congratulations!
Awesome job! I'm a guidance counsellor and teacher. And I'm betting you land a job first! To me there is no heirarchy for education. My son wants to go into trades and I'm super happy about that. I have a few friends with University degrees and are not "using them". You had to study, you had to write tests. You deserve every bit of praise as the others. Length of time is irrelevant too. Great work, be proud. Get your College shirt and wear it proudly to the next get together.
When I read this I was amazed at your story, and how can to make some changes with my children but I always congratulate them on their success whether it be svool grades or sports, I'm big on that because I myself never experienced that ft my parents growing up . Congratulations on your success keep striving for the best! You have a friend in me! 🥰❤️
Our First Lady, Jill Biden is a full time professor at a community college- she would send congrats from her heart! Good luck on your success and all you do!
Congratulations on your major life accomplishment! Community College is really the best! It was my lifeline back into education (I'm now a PhD student at age 64) and rekindled my deep love of learning. At CC I studied with professors from the surrounding top tier universities and made important friends and connections. I was able to return to school after taking decades off, and it was all possible due to my Community College experience. May you enjoy every moment on your journey, whatever path YOU choose 💜 You worked hard and you've done well!
NTA. Graduation deserves celebration. It does not matter what the degree is. Your associates degree is just as important as your cousin's bachelor's degree.
NTA Congratulations It does not matter what degree you've accomplished some of the most successful people I know do not even have high school diplomas they are millionaires and billionaires and very sick airs and billionaires and very successful at their business practices I own my own business for many years with no degree And have been quite blessed So focus on your future not on those around you and beside you And you will be just fine don't ever let that negativity invade your Positivity congratulations again and best of luck do everything in your life without fear you and you will be just fine
Of course NTA, they definitely should have congratulated you. As someone who also has ADHD, I know how much harder it is, and I’m super proud of you :)
My dear young buddy ! If you happen to live anywhere near NYC, please find a way to contact me! I want to celebrate your outstanding achievement at the Lincoln Center SMITH restaurant ( best sticky toffee pudding you’ll ever taste !) my treat! My family were also like this about my milestones. I’m pretty up there in age now😝, so I’ve had time ( and therapy😠) to learn, it wasn’t me, it was THEM… it was also their family of origin! They don’t matter in YOUR destiny ! We do ! Hahaha! We know what you did was fantastic ! Choose carefully ! Be proud, kind and nurtured ! I’m so happy for you !
YOU DID IT !!!! Against the odds! Super proud of you ! No only that but God allowed me to come across your post and find an unexpected blessing ! My 6yo is newly diagnosed and I struggle AND.see h struggle to meet the demands on a primary level ! I You took on this challenge and saw it through ! You shared unfair treatment and really it's a testimony of victory ! CONGRATULATIONS and God bless you and what ever you dream to do !
I started my educational career with Community College. Now I have a Masters in Professional Counseling. Everything started with my Community College! She's better off celebrating with people who truly care, not those ignorant enough to think she didn't work to earn a degree. They just don't give them away!
It's really tough and disappointing, but the good thing to take out of it is that YOU know what you've achieved and what it took, and you now know who your real friends are if you didn't before. Sounds silly, but that's much, much better than the other way round, and that in itself to me shows what a long way you've come and how you're overcoming the MH problems. You're doing much better than I did (took me 10 years to give myself permission to go against my family and do a degree, and when I got a first and a couple of awards they told me it didn't count because I was older - and I let them make me believe it). You're still so young with your life ahead of you: you'll do another degree when the time's right if you want to.
NTA. Your family sux. I'm only doing a 6 month course at TAFE and have already received a fair bit of praise for my efforts. Be proud of your achievement no matter what anyone else says or doesn't say. Good on you.
You are accomplished and amazing! You did it!!! You got your degree!!! I am extremely excited for you and hope for you all the best to happen. I understand the importance of education and that degree. I am from a family of "Masters" and I lack about a dozen hours from having a bachelor's, yet I don't have my associates -algebra kills my mind and soul plus a bipolar mind that blocks some things- I PROMISE YOU HAVE EARNED EVERY CONGRATULATIONS YOU'VE GOTTEN TO READ AND MORE!!! I am so happy for you and proud of you!!! Best part- NO ONE CAN EVER TAKE THAT DEGREE AWAY!!! IT IS ALL YOURS AND ONLY YOURS!!!
I am 37 and in community College obtaining my associates in computer aided drafting. I started college for the first time at 35. I too had some set backs that delayed my graduation til next summer. I will still get it and be proud. My younger brother went to a university and got his batchelors years ago. I went when I was ready, I wasn't for years. My brother went right out of high school and hasn't used his degree at all. He has massive student loans I do not. Community College is affordable that's one positive. Second I can transfer to big university if I want. My parents are proud of both of us as the individuals we are. Everyone has their ups and downs and OP, you should never feel shame of what you earned. Your years ahead of me! You should be so proud of yourself and your family should too! You are not the a-hole at all. I too have ADD and I see it as a advantage as I learn differently and quicker than most. There are lots of us out there!
Congratulations on finishing plus you got a degree! Depending on what you want to do will determine if you can go right out in the workforce or if you want to continue on in your studies. Don't be fooled by the Bachelors Degrees, they aren't all that grand! You studied hard and overcame a big obstacle to get your degree! You should be very proud of yourself! I'm proud of you for doing what a lot can't. Put your shoulders back and walk with your head held high. You are worthy of accolades!!
Nta I had a similar situation. I was graduating from the local tech college. My sister got engaged and I respectfully asked her to not set her wedding on my graduation date. Of course she did. Then I was the a**hole for being upset about it and ruining her joy. I was her maid of honor but felt like I meant nothing to anyone. You won’t change how others’ think, be proud of yourself. You earned it.
NTA. CONGRATULATIONS. You can't choose your family but you can choose who to surround yourself with. You got your degree, I know of people that went to university & never graduated. You accomplished more than a lot of people
I'm sorry that you feel this way, it doesn't seem like your family agrees with you that it's a real achievement. I completely understand how you feel, I have a family member who doesn't feel that me not having a degree means that I haven't done anything with my life. You can do your schooling at your own pace.
My family feels the same way about 2 of my nieces who both graduated high school in 2014. One niece headed off to pursue her 4 year bachelor of nursing at state school, she had graduated top 10% and in the honors program. The other had taken a pre-LVN course her senior year at the tech school associated with her HS. She graduated in the top third of 100 person senior class. She passed the boards, just before heading to basic training for the Army reserves. She used that money to get her ASN. She was immediately hired as an RN by the hospital she had been working as an LVN. Seven years after graduating HS state school cousin finally has her BSN partly because of the pandemic, but mostly because her school had too few class slots and she often was on a waiting list. The family were extremely proud of this, even the parents of ASN. The family was PISSED when BSN got hired at the same hospital and found out her boss was ASN. Family asked ASN to quit for BSN's bruised ego.
NTA! ANY attempt to better yourself is worthy of praise. AS, BS, MS, PH.D, ALL are praiseworthy. It's doubly momentous when the person has physical, mental or emotional challenges. I have an associates and a bachelor's. Your family is diminishing your achievement.
My mom went back to college in her 40's. She took one or two classes a semester. She graduated with her Assoc degree at the same time as I did with my BS from the same college. At first, I didn't want her to graduate with me. I know, very selfish. It turned out to be the best experience. Her family didn't even know about. She didn't tell anybody. SMH PS My college and attached CC had the highest ratio of older/returning students in the nation. University of Alaska Fairbanks Go Nanooks!!
I went to both and the CC is harder. You need at least C grade to pass a class. 4 year, you can pass with a D. Congratulations for all the hard work you did to graduate. Your cousins could have skated through with the minimum.
i went to a two-year community college for almost ten years, ended up graduating with two associates degrees because i changed majors partway through. those were some of the best years of my life, so many amazing, excellent teachers and experiences, and i did it all on scholarships and financial aid. i'd go back and do more if i thought i could physically and mentally handle it (i have multiple chronic conditions; a desk and chair setup more than two days a week would leave me in significant pain, and my brain fog is quite bad most days). i had a part-time job working in the campus library, i did work study a couple of semesters in the environmental science lab, it was all fantastic. and the school i went to is the #1 community college in the state, several years in a row! never let anyone tell you that community college is somehow inferior, because most of the time, that's not going to be the case.
First good for u for getring through collage. But what really ticks me off is how people treat others oh look they got something better which makes them better but fail to see that first it cost money and with a failing dying economy its near impossible to also its that kinda c**p that is ending this country in the end all the masters and PhD wont matter when the u.s goes into a civil war in 2 years or when the economy finally goes down in a few years people need to wake up stop trying to act better then others and just enjoy eachother beacuse I can tell you all right now times ticking so just enjoy life its not like all the money you could get or all the fame will matter in the end it does not carry over in the afterlife and it wont matter when the u.s and the economy die. Also I know people will say that wont happen heres what I say to this when your a gifted social analysis and have a unique understanding of goverments and groups then you to would see the signs.
I feel for you. Not about graduation, anyway i always wish my cousins birthday, all the best, congrats for their achievements. But I never receive a similar treatment from father's side cousins, they pretty much ignore me which made me feel sucks tbh... Luckily my nuclear family and mom's side relatives are always supportive...
It took me a long time to get my bachelor's degree, but I finally did it in 2015. At the time, I was doing home health for my dad's sister and I told her that I needed to take a day off for the graduation ceremony and she was not happy. Later, I told my uncle on my mom's side about the ceremony and he chose to attend customer appreciation day at our local pharmacy rather than watch me graduate. It all worked out though because the people that wanted to be there were there and that's all that mattered.
Holy c**p. Nearly the same thing happened to me back in 2006. My younger brother, his now wife, one cousin and one more of us graduated in the same month. From universities. I graduated too. From community college. Huge graduation party. For the university grads. They all got gifts and the acknowledgment. I was told I was embarrassing people when they asked when I was graduating and I told them I had also graduated. I had no idea what to think. (Also, all of those graduates lived in one area and I had to take a train ride 12 hours to get there.). Holy hell. You’re not the a*****e. Apparently we’re just large embarrassments.
If the family dont At least congratulate you something is Wrong, you should have at least been congratulated for the time you put in the energy you put in and mental strain you endured trying to get there and if you are not worth a congratulations then they are not worth your time...
You deserve a lot of credit! I got my undergrad late in life at 38. I paid for it myself. My mother’s comment was ‘Thank God your partner kept her foot on the back of your neck and made you study.’ She did not attend my graduation. I was the first person in our family to get a degree. I can’t imagine working toward a degree and struggling with ADHD. Keep going. You have a lot of support here with us! Obviously, you can do anything!!!
I'm sorry this happened. But, how did it make top news? Because I have. An insane family that makes shameless seem normal lol.
She should have replied with "Hey Congratulations! Guess what? I just graduated too!! Hey we should all get together and celebrate our achievements." It's possible the cousins and aunts and uncles didn't realize that she wanted to be acknowledged as well. Just got caught up in their own achievements. Her mother though... What IS her Fking problem? I wouldn't say she wanted ALL of the attention, just a little bit of it.
All college is college. All higher education is higher. Community College is not the bottom of the barrel. It is the first step of the long journey.
NTA!! You managed to graduate from community college while dealing with ADHD, and that's a huge achievement in itself!! Meanwhile, your cousins graduated from four-year universities and everyone including your own mom congratulated them while ignoring your achievements ("Well you graduated from community college, big deal, but THEY graduated from REAL SCHOOLS!!")!! I'm gonna bet that those cousins will congratulate YOU personally and force the other family members to acknowledge you (hey, I can dream)!
NTA. Bet your education cost one f**k of a lot less than your "traditional 4 year" cousins. Good for you for saving money and doing what's right for YOU.
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Further education not necessary for everyone. Why would the important people who collect our garbage need a degree? Why does the friendly lady scanning my groceries need to spend money she does not have for a piece of paper? The godsend who helps me clean my house once a week was needed at home when she left high school to look after here terminally ill mother.
2 things can be true. 1) That was pretty rude and hurtful of her mother; education should always be lauded and would it be such an issue to grab her some flowers and a cupcake? Her immediate family could have celebrated a little.... AND 2) an Associate's just is not a big deal. I've never known anyone to make a big deal out of a 2 yr degree at a community college. She wanted the same recognition as her cousins for less than half the work. Congratulations, great job and also get over yourself.
As soon as I read the 'look at what defect I have so everything I accomplish is so much more difficult for me than anyone else' I quit reading.
Personally... The cousin's got better grades, got into a better school, worked harder while there (away from home), and got a better degree. First place gets a trophy. Last place has to be happy with a pay on the back. Otherwise... Why bust your a*s at the major university if the end result is the same. She got overshadowed. Tough s**t. My brother had 4 kids by 4 different women. I preferred love and marriage first, and thus, had none. He's now the favorite and I haven't heard from my mother since, she's too busy with the grandkids. I got overshadowed. That's how life works
Am I the only one who thinks this person is being overly thirsty? I went to both types of schools, and yes there is a difference between community college and a 4 year. There is also a difference in private vs. public. Pretending they are the same is delusional. Yes, you can transfer to a 4 year university, but an Associates degree from a community college means little.
Yeah it sucks but graduating from university is a big deal and let's face it, you're feeling jealous and inadequate. Instead of throwing yourself a pity party use that energy to keep furthering your education and career. They deserve all the congrats they worked very hard
Sounds like she also worked very hard. It's not unreasonable to expect a small amount of support from her family for her achievement.
Load More Replies... Many people, including young adults, live with the hope that their family of origin will support them. Also, a disability (learning and mental health) can make it harder to read people. For many perceptive people, this impaired ability is a very hard concept to understand. Accepting it and explaining things to the person can be very helpful.
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