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Woman Who Lost A Lot Of Weight Can’t Believe How Differently Everyone Treats Her Now, Calls Out Relatives
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Woman Who Lost A Lot Of Weight Can’t Believe How Differently Everyone Treats Her Now, Calls Out Relatives

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Weight loss is always a struggle. Venturing into this arduous endeavor requires tremendous willpower, discipline, strength, and a genuine dedication to your health. It’s frustrating and exhausting. But you try to commit to yourself every single day, come rain or shine. Because whether you like it or not, the unfortunate truth is that looks have an influence on your life, particularly how the rest of society, your friends, and your loved ones perceive and treat you.

But it seems that the challenge becomes even more magnified once you achieve your desired target. Something that Redditor euisalk knows from personal experience. As she detailed in her recent AITA confession, the world started treating her differently as soon as she slimmed down.

“People are nicer to me,” she wrote. “I’m the same person I’ve always been, but the way I move in the world has improved because my body is smaller.” While this change may seem heartening from the outside, it is also startling. While the woman felt disgusted by such behavior, she tried to keep her cool. Until she snapped. Read on to find out how her story escalated, and be sure to weigh in on the discussion in the comments!

After losing a significant amount of weight, this woman experienced how the world suddenly started treating her differently

Image credits: Huha Inc. (not the actual photo)

Feeling appalled by such behavior, she finally snapped at a family gathering and found herself in a heated drama


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Image credits: Towfiqu barbhuiya (not the actual photo)


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Image credits: cottonbro (not the actual photo)




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Later on, the user added an update and shared her opinions on the matter





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Image credits: euisalk

After reading the story, Redditors offered overwhelming support for the woman and shared some insightful thoughts on the whole situation. After all, body image and weight loss are huge issues for millions of people around the world, so the post resonated with many readers. As much as we believe that beauty comes from the inside out, the harsh reality is that the size and shape of your body matters for the majority of society.

In this age when unrealistic beauty standards and diet culture are still a thing, navigating the twists and turns of your own health can be overwhelming. But once you achieve your desired target after weeks, months, or even years of grueling effort and immense courage, all is well, right? Well, as this story proves, not entirely.

Losing a drastic amount of weight is an incredibly demanding process that can take a toll on your physical and psychological health. According to Rachel Goldman, a psychologist in New York City and a clinical assistant professor in the Department of Psychiatry at NYU School of Medicine, navigating the social shifts that come with this change can be difficult.

Her patients often reveal getting more attention, being approached by strangers, and feeling seen in a way they had never before — all because they lost weight. “There is this weight bias and negative attitudes towards individuals in a larger body,” Goldman said. “And after people lose a significant amount of weight, they really do start experiencing this. People are kinder and nicer. And it’s like they’re no longer invisible.”

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While the compliments may seem genuine at first, they can ignite a series of doubts and make people lose their self-esteem. “It really affects their mental health, their self-image, and self-confidence, trying to understand, ‘How did somebody see them so differently before?'” Goldman added.

“It’s very disappointing and very frustrating, you know, for me as well, being in the mental health field and hearing about these experiences. It’s very sad. And this is really why we want to educate the public as much as we can in terms of how harmful weight bias can be.”

Thankfully, the body positivity movement has been growing stronger. It has made tremendous strides in increasing acceptance of different body types that would otherwise fall outside unrealistic beauty standards. It has inspired people to make their bodies seen and their voices heard. But while we celebrate these accomplishments, it’s important to remember that fatphobia is still alive and well. Standing up to it takes strength and courage, something the author of the story demonstrated so well.

While there’s a long way to go in dismantling fatphobia, the woman’s story brings attention to the issue, and we hope that she will find a way to open her family members’ minds and help them unlearn harmful beauty expectations. We’d love to hear your thoughts about the matter in the comments below. What do you think about the story? Was the woman right to call out her relatives? Feel free to share your opinions, personal experiences, and any tips for people experiencing similar situations in the comments below.

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Redditors jumped to the comments to express their support and chime in with their personal experiences













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sergiobicerra avatar
Sergio Bicerra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once i heard about someone congratulating another one about their weight loss, and asking about their secret, and the other one answering 'cancer', so damn i'm not going to say nothing about your weight before you talk about your miracle diet.

nataliechupil avatar
NatalieC
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This article is right on. All my life my weight has fluctuated and the difference in how I was treated is horrific. No, that is not too strong a word. HORRIFIC.

helenwaight avatar
Helen Waight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It truly is utterly terrifying how badly others treat you because you weigh more than them. It’s dehumanising. Reduces you down to ‘a lazy thing who’s too stupid to lose weight’. And it’s socially acceptable to do so.

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ange_marsden avatar
Ange Marsden
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I recently gained a lot of weight and changed jobs and I'm blown away by how differently I get treated. The unsolicited dieting advice is humiliating.

helenwaight avatar
Helen Waight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m with you mate. I’m fat and visibly disabled so I’ve got tired of the ‘just try X diet it’ll fix you!’ Stuff. I just fix them with a cold glare and a ‘my weight or disability is absolutely none of your business’

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deborahbrett avatar
Deborah B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was fat most of my life. I lost half my body weight, and the way people change towards you is huge. I'm also a wheelchair user, and the difference between how you are treated as a skinny disabled person (sick, clearly, so couragous! good on you, look how well you manage! Do you need any help? Just let me know if i can reach something for you) vs a fat disabled person (lazy, probrably it's your weight, really you make things harder for yourself by not losing weight, you're inconveniencing everyone, just don't try and come in the shop, your wheelchair doesn't fit). There is this bias in society that we have an obligation to be attractive. There is an unspoken attitude that if you aren't attractive, society isn't obligated to make room for you, or treat you with dignity.

glowingsun2002 avatar
BadCat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it's so rude to comment on someone's appearance, even if it's supposed to be a compliment. It comes across like someone changed themselves to please other people when it's not the case at all, or changed themselves to get attention, when that is not true, either. Just because someone's appearance changes doesn't mean they want to become a spectacle. Not everyone is comfortable being center of attention, and have their bodies scrutinized and analyzed.

linden avatar
Linden
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to get complimented and praised for weight loss a LOT when the reality was I had an eating disorder. It is horrifying to look back on. Those compliments sometimes came from medical professionals too. My policy is to simply never, ever comment on another person's body. It is unnecessary.

helenwaight avatar
Helen Waight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Love and support. I’ve had relapses of anorexia for over 30 years and oh god no please don’t compliment me when my weight goes down - it means I’m literally not eating anything.

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church266 avatar
M Waite
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. You warned them and they were lying about. Health. Too often people couch.their critisims as "worrying about your health." Some might be fooling themselves, but I think most want to tell you look bad and just want to find an acceptable way to say it. I lost 175 pounds. Everyone thought I should be excited and want to discuss the details. I didn't want to because I wad afraid it would come back. And it just felt intrusive. I had the added issue that I had weight loss surgery. People think ir's the easy way out; it's not. I still had the same brain and urges. Something that is never talked about is that for awhile you don't belong to either group. I lost my fat sisterhood but was.not yet average sized. I was shocked to get treated rudely and I could practically hear them saying what are you doing here. At that time I was too big to fit in the regular departments. That was unexpected and really hurt me. Like the poster, I found people were nicer to me, particularly strangers. I was treated with more common courtesy. It really p l ayed with my mind and I found that I would get angry about it unexpectedly. What made it worse, I knew there were people I was interested in dating who were not interested but now were. I was angry because I'm still the same person but now they would be interested. I understand the part about physical attraction, but it's hard to go from unworthy to worthy. I know much of this is off topic, but I rarely get the opportunity to share my experience. Please ignore and spelling, grammer, formatting problems with.this post. It's my first post on Panda and I haven't figuered out yet how to review and format.

helenwaight avatar
Helen Waight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read your comment and it’s true. There really is a shock, and not a pleasant one, when you realise that your worth is tied to your weight by this society. To the guys who were ‘I’d date you if you lost weight’ I would also reply ‘I’d date you only if you lost your attitude problem. And gained some intelligence. And stopped being a recrum’

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mandabragg avatar
Amanda Panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had the same thing after being bullied by family for years, I lost almost 4 stone. Then the" you're too skinny, you need to eat a burger" comments started. It was never my weight that was the problem, is was nasty family members

giustizia avatar
Jus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I experienced that. All the guys who suddenly found me interesting are sshht to me. No, baby, you knew me before and apparently I wasn't interesting to you. Now f.o. There's no guarantee I will stay slimmer or gain weight again. I hate people sometimes. Your comments about my body are not welcome.

rhodabike6 avatar
Seabeast
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The two skinniest people I ever knew were chain smoking alcoholics. But hey, they were thin, so they most be healthy, right. 🙄

zselyke_szekely avatar
UpupaEpops
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to be super skinny. Then I hit a rough patch exacerbated by Covid and booooy did I put on the weight. My overweight family went ape. Like, I couldn't get a carrot stick in my mouth without them commenting. I worked really hard on myself to get back to my normal weight safely and healthily, as I have IBD so I can't eat whatever and whenever. The nutritionist cost me an arm and a leg but it worked. Initially, they were happy for me. Right until I got visibly thinner than them. Then it suddenly became imperative that we have McDonald's, cake, beignets, fries etc. and they start throwing tantrum after tantrum that I'm refusing to eat their food and cook for myself. But yeah. The treatment from strangers is astonishing compared to how I was simply invisible when fat.

richardthompson avatar
Dog Mom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And this is how you end up with your entire self worth wrapped up in how you look. I lost a bunch of weight when I was younger and it was amazing how different I was treated. It's like that's the only way people have any respect for you. Now that I'm getting older I've put some weight back on and I have serious issues with self esteem because of it.

helenwaight avatar
Helen Waight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most of my adult life I’ve been fat. And these days I’m disabled and fat and the amount of sheer cruelty people think they can give you ‘in concern for your health’ is not understood by those who’ve never had it happen to them. But a few years back I went through a very dark time and my old bout with anorexia came back. I dropped weight very fast. People were congratulating me, being nicer, doctors(!) were telling me to ‘keep it up’. Never mind that I was trying to end it all. I’ve put back that weight (and got on some better brain meds) and yep, people treat me badly again. It’s really revolting.

misterghostfoot avatar
Glass Ghost
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And that my friend is the crappy social and looks standard that today's society holds high. Glad she stood up for herself. The key for me would to just not care what anyone says or thinks. Be proud of your accomplishments and don't worry about anyone else. The world is heartless.

tinasmith1 avatar
Smitin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have been overweight for 45 years - and I don't think it is a coincidence that I got the two biggest promotions of my life came after I lost more than 50 pounds, and that I ultimately lost both jobs when I gained the weight back. Sure, it's possible that as I lost weight, I gained enough confidence and self respect to believe that I deserved the promotions, and when I started gaining the weight back, my mental health suffered, leading to underwhelming performance (but not incompetence) at work - but I really don't believe that. When you're fat, you're invisible at best, or you're subhuman.

maxwatson1991 avatar
Max
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, it turns out that when people constantly sh*t on someone's appearance, it causes major mental health issues and feelings of shame around food and exercise - causing behaviours like binging, starving, and shut-in tendencies. A person who eats good food with lots of nutrients, and does regular exercise, is generally healthier than a person who doesn't, regardless of their weight.

avantikacholleti avatar
Pumpkin Spice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I went from 120 pounds (54 kilos, slightly chubby but still healthy) to 110 lbs (50.2 kilos, healthy but flirting with underweight), and people KEPT ASKING ME ABOUT MY 'SECRET'. What secret? My disordered eating? My Adderall side effects? I was so close to slapping them. I wish OP good luck and a better family.

hermom504 avatar
WonderWoman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Movies, books, television, media, politicians, comedians, but worst of all health care professionals etc ALL vilify the heavy person as lazy, unintelligent, evil and much less deserving of respect and to be treated with dignity. So much so that the average person sees someone above a certain body weight as being less than them. No one knows why another person is heavier. There are genetics, medications, etc - what the reason is is NONE OF ANYONEs BUSINESS.

lesleyannechristie246 avatar
Lesley Christie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've started losing weight recently due to being diagnosed with a medical condition. Some people treat me better but some people take it like personal insult, like I've done it in order to be better than them. I've lost a friend who it turns out was my friend because it made her feel better to have a fat friend. Its really not about health for most people who comment, but it was all about health for me. I'm still the same person. Hopefully I'll make some new friends.

circular-motion avatar
Mer☕️🧭☕️
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a lumbering hippopotamus, I can say that IN GENERAL fat people don't...exist. We don't count. Doctors are required to blame EVERYTHING from ear infections to ingrown toenails on BeINg fAT!!1. I think it must be a law... Apparently fat people suffer less pain, too, according to fatphobic drs. If you're fat, your opinion doesn't matter. If you're fat, you are useless. BUT DON'T GET ME WRONG - YOU HAVE A PRETTY FACE/SMILE/EYES!!111!! Loss of IckyNastyLoathsome body fat = gaining of identity. Nah, I'm not bitter...

sillydragonfly4 avatar
SillyDragonfly4
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I lost a lot of weight and I was treated differently. All the sudden I had value, and I hated it because I realized I was not different, their opinion of me was different. Not in contact with any of them. Take care of you and distance from those who judge your value accordingly to your weight.

elmforms avatar
Elaine Morinelli
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow the EXACT thing happened to me when I lost weight! I weighed 325 and it didn't take long for people to start treating me differently. I never got lower than a size 14/16 but people treat me like a "normal" person now. I would walk down the street and people would catch my eye and smile. I was shocked!

jo_frye avatar
Jo Frye
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can be kind or you can be nasty. She was nasty. Maybe some Anger Management is in order. You can enjoy today or waste it all on yesterday. YOUR choice.

petergargano avatar
Pg130
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well said and handled. They deserved to be put in their places.

vs222ak avatar
Ladytron
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes. I always lose weight when I'm depressed or stressed. It's so damn irritating to hear that you look your best when you feel your worst. Just because you weigh more does not mean you are unhealthy. I don't really have the time to work out like I did before and therefore weigh less - does not mean I'm healthier now, lol. I've never lived in an overweight body though so I realize that my struggles are not near as bad as if you live or have lived in a marginalized body. Sounds nothing but terrible. It should be common sense to not comment on peoples bodies no matter what.

leah_purdy avatar
LPurdy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My assessment, given my very similar experience: I've come to see that 1) Often people who comment about another person's weight are expressing their own deep-seated fears. They are afraid of their own shortcomings, and so, choose an easy target to deflect general scrutiny onto. 2) People who say they want what's best for you may also just be shallow arseholes who seem to think that your appearance is some kind of poor reflection on them.

madelinetanseybryson avatar
madeline tansey bryson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am totally in your side. I have had, still do, the same problems. People are a##hats

marigenbeltran_2 avatar
Windtree
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand what business is of anyone what a person weights. I lost weight last year and someone asked me how I did it I answered that I have been sick, which is true.

juliechute avatar
Hoodoo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am & always have been rail thin- it's genetic. M' family are smaller people. All m' life people have commented how skinny I am- do you work out? Are you vegan? Are you ill? Anorexic? I eat smaller portions bcuz I'm a smaller person...Actually I eat m' fair share of junk & drink m' fair share o' booze. I'm fond of greasy, salty meat & like most desserts. People tell me they hate me..IT'S METABOLIC. I stopped explaining m'self long ago. Those on the larger size of this bs don't owe explanations either. I totally get why OP & others who carry more weight are sick of the scrutiny. NTA

asdomar avatar
Asdomar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not just about body size: society (at least shallow people) will exclude you if you differ from the imposed standards. Give them a chance if you feel they were blinded by social standards but try to keep away if they only see how you fit on society and not who you are; sometimes people have friends just because society tells them to do so and I would rather be alone than in that shallow dream.

kimayal20535 avatar
Komikat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate this so much. Once, I was visiting my relatives after having lost quite a bit of weight and guess what? Suddenly, all everyone would say was 'you look so much better now' or 'omg you're so thin!!!' Shut up. God how I hated it.

tinyd avatar
Tiny Dancer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was a lifetime ago now, but I hear ya, OP! My Mum and I needed help way back when (late '70s, early '80s) so we spent the summer hitting the latest craze with a vengeance (the Scarsdale Diet, the one with lots of grapefruit, the doc was murdered by his mistress). Between us, we lost 100 pounds, it was pretty glorious. Best part (and the most annoying) took place in the mall parking lot just before school restarted. I said hello to a guy from my classes, one I had been seated in front of or just behind for the past three fat years of my life (he asked me for help all the time, he knew me). He said hey back, then I heard his friends ask him who I was and he said, "I don't know, but I wish I did!" Made me smile and wince at the same time. My brain's still the same size, Charlie! So frustrating.

himorythedreamer avatar
Himory TheDreamer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone: "eat salad" Me: "I don't eat horse food". I wish it was that what they said tbh, people often tell me to stop eating at all. I eat way healthier than my very thin boyfriend, eat less c**p than anyone I know because I don't like anything (autism sensorial stuff) and eating in general make me sick and still I can't seem to loose weight due to lack of movement. I'm currently trying to improve my undiagnosed chronic illness so I can maybe exercise.

moyamcbride avatar
MoMcB
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've put on weight, mainly due to a back injury, that has improved, but will never get fully well. People tell me if I just do whatever diet is in vogue and move more I'll lose it. One, I didn't ask you. Two, I don't advertise my heath issues, so you don't know why.

staceyrae avatar
genevieveb_1 avatar
Genevieve
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if the person wants be be congratulated because they lost weight, then that’s fine. but she has set boundaries and her family is stepping over the line. that’s never okay.

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bigeddogg47 avatar
Conan Maschingon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah she is the a*****e just take the compliments and stfu everything else is your own personal insecurities of your looks maybe you did look disgusting fat it does happen I use to be really big myself about 360 and drop down to 220 and yeah people do treat you different so what you don't have to cry about it just love the ones that have always treated you the same.

simmsrn avatar
Angela Allen Simms
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm stealing Christ on a bike!!! Luv'd that and you for shutting those haters down!! Thank you for being aware of who you are a how you move i. the world!!! This crew...we got you!!!

katmin avatar
Kat Min
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Great post that really resonates with my experiences, too.. The world is just crazy shallow.

kesti-nielsen avatar
TheElderNom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have to say that I have thankfully experienced an enormous improvement in how healthcare personnel treats me now compared to 15-20 years ago, weight comes up but it is a legitimate concern and nothing is dismissed because of my weight anymore. When I was 14 I had a healthy bmi but my ear infection was blamed on me being fat. When I was 20 I was depressed after quitting University and not knowing what to do with my life, the psychiatrist I met "listened" to me and proceeded to tell me I was a wonderful and pretty girl and that I'd soon get plenty of friends. Even after I said I had plenty of friends and that really wasn't the problem he just kept insisting I was wonderful and pretty and I'd soon have friends.

storm_and_baby avatar
Lisa T
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never shame people about their weight…BUT…losing weight deserves congratulations because you are prioritising your health. Losing excess weight can get rid of things like diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems etc. It’s your own business if you want to be obese or overweight, but of course your friends and loved ones want you to live your best and healthiest life.

glowingsun2002 avatar
BadCat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think, in this case, it was necessarily the praise the OP was getting. It was how different she noticed people were treating her as a result. Like, family being nicer towards her than before, and being more supportive. If it was about health, why didn't they offer more support and encouragement rather than criticisms, insults, comparisons and negative nagging, or just ignore her weight all together? Plus, she had made some lifestyle changes, not specifically for health, but because she enjoyed it. It doesn't seem like it was a "secret" to everyone else she knows, but since they asked that cliche question "What's your secret?" it seems the OP's lifestyle changes have been ignored or overlooked by everyone else, or they didn't believe it until they saw results, and by that time forgot. Plus, if someone doesn't want something about themselves remarked on, positive or negative, then people should respect them and not mention it.

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wordswork avatar
RoseAnne Hutchence
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry, kids, but fat is ugly. Not sexy. And our entire society seems to revolve around appearances being of utmost importance. That starts in grade school. Where were you that you didn't get the message? Being fat is also a huge signpost yelling "I have no self respect" or self discipline.

sandrabollox avatar
Sandra Bollox
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Um being healthy and fat are not possible. I think she was trying to say that fat is one of the characteristics of health. But I will die on this hill, being fat is not good for health in any way, shape or form. Fat meaning excessive fat for your body. It leads to cardiac and vascular problems, hepatic and renal problems, skeletal, nerve, lung, skin, and even psych. It is not up for debate. It is scientific fact. This is coming from someone who is definitely over their ideal body weight. Notice how I didn't say that it's the same for everyone to keep fat off. Notice how I didn't say that it isn't okay to be fat. Notice how regular weight, and below weight are not included in my comment but their omission does not imply "health". But for the love of all that is holy, please stop saying fat is healthy. Your article is about the treatment from other people due to looks. Great. I'm with you all the way. But DO NOT say that fat is healthy.

cocottelabroue avatar
Brigitte Labrie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get it, I’m fat too. Yes, some people are fatphobic, some people don’t mind their damn business, and some fat people hate themselves, and project that hate onto others. Losing weight doesn’t automatically heal you or make you love yourself. The odds are her family did love her and worry about her health, but she was too angry to see it for what it was.

lyuben-petko avatar
Lyuben Petkov
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

those are the rules of the game in the western society, it is not fair, but this is also how the law of attraction works

staphgirl79 avatar
Mistiekim
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We aren’t talking about the law of attraction. We are talking about a person having a door held open for them when they are thinner vs. not being held open when they are heavier. You suddenly exist in the world when you are thinner, even though you’ve been here all along.

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jandad_brant avatar
John Brant
Community Member
1 year ago

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So the point is as I understand it...fat-shaming is bad (like duh), being supportive of weight loss (and finding attractiveness in that) is also bad...do I have that right?

staphgirl79 avatar
Mistiekim
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No - the point is that a person should be treated the same in both “forms”. The OP was not - her family treated her differently when she was heavier than when she was thinner (like society does). As far as being supportive of weight loss, not all instances are due to someone’s choice. It’s best to compliment people in a way that has nothing to do with the weight loss. Like “you look very pretty/good today” or “That’s a nice outfit”. Not “Wow! You lost so much weight! You look awesome!”

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deth17 avatar
Jayson Barlow
Community Member
1 year ago

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lmao this article. What a fat pig, you deserve to be shamed every last one of you.

acey-ace16 avatar
Ace
Community Member
1 year ago

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I don't get it. Of course they're going to be treated differently, surely that's part of the point of losing weight, isn't it?

othornhill6792 avatar
Bisces
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What? Why would they be treated differently? Why SHOULD they? No, that's not part of the point of losing weight.

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sergiobicerra avatar
Sergio Bicerra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once i heard about someone congratulating another one about their weight loss, and asking about their secret, and the other one answering 'cancer', so damn i'm not going to say nothing about your weight before you talk about your miracle diet.

nataliechupil avatar
NatalieC
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This article is right on. All my life my weight has fluctuated and the difference in how I was treated is horrific. No, that is not too strong a word. HORRIFIC.

helenwaight avatar
Helen Waight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It truly is utterly terrifying how badly others treat you because you weigh more than them. It’s dehumanising. Reduces you down to ‘a lazy thing who’s too stupid to lose weight’. And it’s socially acceptable to do so.

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Ange Marsden
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I recently gained a lot of weight and changed jobs and I'm blown away by how differently I get treated. The unsolicited dieting advice is humiliating.

helenwaight avatar
Helen Waight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m with you mate. I’m fat and visibly disabled so I’ve got tired of the ‘just try X diet it’ll fix you!’ Stuff. I just fix them with a cold glare and a ‘my weight or disability is absolutely none of your business’

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Deborah B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was fat most of my life. I lost half my body weight, and the way people change towards you is huge. I'm also a wheelchair user, and the difference between how you are treated as a skinny disabled person (sick, clearly, so couragous! good on you, look how well you manage! Do you need any help? Just let me know if i can reach something for you) vs a fat disabled person (lazy, probrably it's your weight, really you make things harder for yourself by not losing weight, you're inconveniencing everyone, just don't try and come in the shop, your wheelchair doesn't fit). There is this bias in society that we have an obligation to be attractive. There is an unspoken attitude that if you aren't attractive, society isn't obligated to make room for you, or treat you with dignity.

glowingsun2002 avatar
BadCat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it's so rude to comment on someone's appearance, even if it's supposed to be a compliment. It comes across like someone changed themselves to please other people when it's not the case at all, or changed themselves to get attention, when that is not true, either. Just because someone's appearance changes doesn't mean they want to become a spectacle. Not everyone is comfortable being center of attention, and have their bodies scrutinized and analyzed.

linden avatar
Linden
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to get complimented and praised for weight loss a LOT when the reality was I had an eating disorder. It is horrifying to look back on. Those compliments sometimes came from medical professionals too. My policy is to simply never, ever comment on another person's body. It is unnecessary.

helenwaight avatar
Helen Waight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Love and support. I’ve had relapses of anorexia for over 30 years and oh god no please don’t compliment me when my weight goes down - it means I’m literally not eating anything.

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church266 avatar
M Waite
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. You warned them and they were lying about. Health. Too often people couch.their critisims as "worrying about your health." Some might be fooling themselves, but I think most want to tell you look bad and just want to find an acceptable way to say it. I lost 175 pounds. Everyone thought I should be excited and want to discuss the details. I didn't want to because I wad afraid it would come back. And it just felt intrusive. I had the added issue that I had weight loss surgery. People think ir's the easy way out; it's not. I still had the same brain and urges. Something that is never talked about is that for awhile you don't belong to either group. I lost my fat sisterhood but was.not yet average sized. I was shocked to get treated rudely and I could practically hear them saying what are you doing here. At that time I was too big to fit in the regular departments. That was unexpected and really hurt me. Like the poster, I found people were nicer to me, particularly strangers. I was treated with more common courtesy. It really p l ayed with my mind and I found that I would get angry about it unexpectedly. What made it worse, I knew there were people I was interested in dating who were not interested but now were. I was angry because I'm still the same person but now they would be interested. I understand the part about physical attraction, but it's hard to go from unworthy to worthy. I know much of this is off topic, but I rarely get the opportunity to share my experience. Please ignore and spelling, grammer, formatting problems with.this post. It's my first post on Panda and I haven't figuered out yet how to review and format.

helenwaight avatar
Helen Waight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read your comment and it’s true. There really is a shock, and not a pleasant one, when you realise that your worth is tied to your weight by this society. To the guys who were ‘I’d date you if you lost weight’ I would also reply ‘I’d date you only if you lost your attitude problem. And gained some intelligence. And stopped being a recrum’

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mandabragg avatar
Amanda Panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had the same thing after being bullied by family for years, I lost almost 4 stone. Then the" you're too skinny, you need to eat a burger" comments started. It was never my weight that was the problem, is was nasty family members

giustizia avatar
Jus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I experienced that. All the guys who suddenly found me interesting are sshht to me. No, baby, you knew me before and apparently I wasn't interesting to you. Now f.o. There's no guarantee I will stay slimmer or gain weight again. I hate people sometimes. Your comments about my body are not welcome.

rhodabike6 avatar
Seabeast
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The two skinniest people I ever knew were chain smoking alcoholics. But hey, they were thin, so they most be healthy, right. 🙄

zselyke_szekely avatar
UpupaEpops
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to be super skinny. Then I hit a rough patch exacerbated by Covid and booooy did I put on the weight. My overweight family went ape. Like, I couldn't get a carrot stick in my mouth without them commenting. I worked really hard on myself to get back to my normal weight safely and healthily, as I have IBD so I can't eat whatever and whenever. The nutritionist cost me an arm and a leg but it worked. Initially, they were happy for me. Right until I got visibly thinner than them. Then it suddenly became imperative that we have McDonald's, cake, beignets, fries etc. and they start throwing tantrum after tantrum that I'm refusing to eat their food and cook for myself. But yeah. The treatment from strangers is astonishing compared to how I was simply invisible when fat.

richardthompson avatar
Dog Mom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And this is how you end up with your entire self worth wrapped up in how you look. I lost a bunch of weight when I was younger and it was amazing how different I was treated. It's like that's the only way people have any respect for you. Now that I'm getting older I've put some weight back on and I have serious issues with self esteem because of it.

helenwaight avatar
Helen Waight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most of my adult life I’ve been fat. And these days I’m disabled and fat and the amount of sheer cruelty people think they can give you ‘in concern for your health’ is not understood by those who’ve never had it happen to them. But a few years back I went through a very dark time and my old bout with anorexia came back. I dropped weight very fast. People were congratulating me, being nicer, doctors(!) were telling me to ‘keep it up’. Never mind that I was trying to end it all. I’ve put back that weight (and got on some better brain meds) and yep, people treat me badly again. It’s really revolting.

misterghostfoot avatar
Glass Ghost
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And that my friend is the crappy social and looks standard that today's society holds high. Glad she stood up for herself. The key for me would to just not care what anyone says or thinks. Be proud of your accomplishments and don't worry about anyone else. The world is heartless.

tinasmith1 avatar
Smitin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have been overweight for 45 years - and I don't think it is a coincidence that I got the two biggest promotions of my life came after I lost more than 50 pounds, and that I ultimately lost both jobs when I gained the weight back. Sure, it's possible that as I lost weight, I gained enough confidence and self respect to believe that I deserved the promotions, and when I started gaining the weight back, my mental health suffered, leading to underwhelming performance (but not incompetence) at work - but I really don't believe that. When you're fat, you're invisible at best, or you're subhuman.

maxwatson1991 avatar
Max
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, it turns out that when people constantly sh*t on someone's appearance, it causes major mental health issues and feelings of shame around food and exercise - causing behaviours like binging, starving, and shut-in tendencies. A person who eats good food with lots of nutrients, and does regular exercise, is generally healthier than a person who doesn't, regardless of their weight.

avantikacholleti avatar
Pumpkin Spice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I went from 120 pounds (54 kilos, slightly chubby but still healthy) to 110 lbs (50.2 kilos, healthy but flirting with underweight), and people KEPT ASKING ME ABOUT MY 'SECRET'. What secret? My disordered eating? My Adderall side effects? I was so close to slapping them. I wish OP good luck and a better family.

hermom504 avatar
WonderWoman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Movies, books, television, media, politicians, comedians, but worst of all health care professionals etc ALL vilify the heavy person as lazy, unintelligent, evil and much less deserving of respect and to be treated with dignity. So much so that the average person sees someone above a certain body weight as being less than them. No one knows why another person is heavier. There are genetics, medications, etc - what the reason is is NONE OF ANYONEs BUSINESS.

lesleyannechristie246 avatar
Lesley Christie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've started losing weight recently due to being diagnosed with a medical condition. Some people treat me better but some people take it like personal insult, like I've done it in order to be better than them. I've lost a friend who it turns out was my friend because it made her feel better to have a fat friend. Its really not about health for most people who comment, but it was all about health for me. I'm still the same person. Hopefully I'll make some new friends.

circular-motion avatar
Mer☕️🧭☕️
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a lumbering hippopotamus, I can say that IN GENERAL fat people don't...exist. We don't count. Doctors are required to blame EVERYTHING from ear infections to ingrown toenails on BeINg fAT!!1. I think it must be a law... Apparently fat people suffer less pain, too, according to fatphobic drs. If you're fat, your opinion doesn't matter. If you're fat, you are useless. BUT DON'T GET ME WRONG - YOU HAVE A PRETTY FACE/SMILE/EYES!!111!! Loss of IckyNastyLoathsome body fat = gaining of identity. Nah, I'm not bitter...

sillydragonfly4 avatar
SillyDragonfly4
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I lost a lot of weight and I was treated differently. All the sudden I had value, and I hated it because I realized I was not different, their opinion of me was different. Not in contact with any of them. Take care of you and distance from those who judge your value accordingly to your weight.

elmforms avatar
Elaine Morinelli
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow the EXACT thing happened to me when I lost weight! I weighed 325 and it didn't take long for people to start treating me differently. I never got lower than a size 14/16 but people treat me like a "normal" person now. I would walk down the street and people would catch my eye and smile. I was shocked!

jo_frye avatar
Jo Frye
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can be kind or you can be nasty. She was nasty. Maybe some Anger Management is in order. You can enjoy today or waste it all on yesterday. YOUR choice.

petergargano avatar
Pg130
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well said and handled. They deserved to be put in their places.

vs222ak avatar
Ladytron
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes. I always lose weight when I'm depressed or stressed. It's so damn irritating to hear that you look your best when you feel your worst. Just because you weigh more does not mean you are unhealthy. I don't really have the time to work out like I did before and therefore weigh less - does not mean I'm healthier now, lol. I've never lived in an overweight body though so I realize that my struggles are not near as bad as if you live or have lived in a marginalized body. Sounds nothing but terrible. It should be common sense to not comment on peoples bodies no matter what.

leah_purdy avatar
LPurdy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My assessment, given my very similar experience: I've come to see that 1) Often people who comment about another person's weight are expressing their own deep-seated fears. They are afraid of their own shortcomings, and so, choose an easy target to deflect general scrutiny onto. 2) People who say they want what's best for you may also just be shallow arseholes who seem to think that your appearance is some kind of poor reflection on them.

madelinetanseybryson avatar
madeline tansey bryson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am totally in your side. I have had, still do, the same problems. People are a##hats

marigenbeltran_2 avatar
Windtree
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand what business is of anyone what a person weights. I lost weight last year and someone asked me how I did it I answered that I have been sick, which is true.

juliechute avatar
Hoodoo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am & always have been rail thin- it's genetic. M' family are smaller people. All m' life people have commented how skinny I am- do you work out? Are you vegan? Are you ill? Anorexic? I eat smaller portions bcuz I'm a smaller person...Actually I eat m' fair share of junk & drink m' fair share o' booze. I'm fond of greasy, salty meat & like most desserts. People tell me they hate me..IT'S METABOLIC. I stopped explaining m'self long ago. Those on the larger size of this bs don't owe explanations either. I totally get why OP & others who carry more weight are sick of the scrutiny. NTA

asdomar avatar
Asdomar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not just about body size: society (at least shallow people) will exclude you if you differ from the imposed standards. Give them a chance if you feel they were blinded by social standards but try to keep away if they only see how you fit on society and not who you are; sometimes people have friends just because society tells them to do so and I would rather be alone than in that shallow dream.

kimayal20535 avatar
Komikat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate this so much. Once, I was visiting my relatives after having lost quite a bit of weight and guess what? Suddenly, all everyone would say was 'you look so much better now' or 'omg you're so thin!!!' Shut up. God how I hated it.

tinyd avatar
Tiny Dancer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was a lifetime ago now, but I hear ya, OP! My Mum and I needed help way back when (late '70s, early '80s) so we spent the summer hitting the latest craze with a vengeance (the Scarsdale Diet, the one with lots of grapefruit, the doc was murdered by his mistress). Between us, we lost 100 pounds, it was pretty glorious. Best part (and the most annoying) took place in the mall parking lot just before school restarted. I said hello to a guy from my classes, one I had been seated in front of or just behind for the past three fat years of my life (he asked me for help all the time, he knew me). He said hey back, then I heard his friends ask him who I was and he said, "I don't know, but I wish I did!" Made me smile and wince at the same time. My brain's still the same size, Charlie! So frustrating.

himorythedreamer avatar
Himory TheDreamer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone: "eat salad" Me: "I don't eat horse food". I wish it was that what they said tbh, people often tell me to stop eating at all. I eat way healthier than my very thin boyfriend, eat less c**p than anyone I know because I don't like anything (autism sensorial stuff) and eating in general make me sick and still I can't seem to loose weight due to lack of movement. I'm currently trying to improve my undiagnosed chronic illness so I can maybe exercise.

moyamcbride avatar
MoMcB
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've put on weight, mainly due to a back injury, that has improved, but will never get fully well. People tell me if I just do whatever diet is in vogue and move more I'll lose it. One, I didn't ask you. Two, I don't advertise my heath issues, so you don't know why.

staceyrae avatar
genevieveb_1 avatar
Genevieve
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if the person wants be be congratulated because they lost weight, then that’s fine. but she has set boundaries and her family is stepping over the line. that’s never okay.

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bigeddogg47 avatar
Conan Maschingon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah she is the a*****e just take the compliments and stfu everything else is your own personal insecurities of your looks maybe you did look disgusting fat it does happen I use to be really big myself about 360 and drop down to 220 and yeah people do treat you different so what you don't have to cry about it just love the ones that have always treated you the same.

simmsrn avatar
Angela Allen Simms
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm stealing Christ on a bike!!! Luv'd that and you for shutting those haters down!! Thank you for being aware of who you are a how you move i. the world!!! This crew...we got you!!!

katmin avatar
Kat Min
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Great post that really resonates with my experiences, too.. The world is just crazy shallow.

kesti-nielsen avatar
TheElderNom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have to say that I have thankfully experienced an enormous improvement in how healthcare personnel treats me now compared to 15-20 years ago, weight comes up but it is a legitimate concern and nothing is dismissed because of my weight anymore. When I was 14 I had a healthy bmi but my ear infection was blamed on me being fat. When I was 20 I was depressed after quitting University and not knowing what to do with my life, the psychiatrist I met "listened" to me and proceeded to tell me I was a wonderful and pretty girl and that I'd soon get plenty of friends. Even after I said I had plenty of friends and that really wasn't the problem he just kept insisting I was wonderful and pretty and I'd soon have friends.

storm_and_baby avatar
Lisa T
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never shame people about their weight…BUT…losing weight deserves congratulations because you are prioritising your health. Losing excess weight can get rid of things like diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems etc. It’s your own business if you want to be obese or overweight, but of course your friends and loved ones want you to live your best and healthiest life.

glowingsun2002 avatar
BadCat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think, in this case, it was necessarily the praise the OP was getting. It was how different she noticed people were treating her as a result. Like, family being nicer towards her than before, and being more supportive. If it was about health, why didn't they offer more support and encouragement rather than criticisms, insults, comparisons and negative nagging, or just ignore her weight all together? Plus, she had made some lifestyle changes, not specifically for health, but because she enjoyed it. It doesn't seem like it was a "secret" to everyone else she knows, but since they asked that cliche question "What's your secret?" it seems the OP's lifestyle changes have been ignored or overlooked by everyone else, or they didn't believe it until they saw results, and by that time forgot. Plus, if someone doesn't want something about themselves remarked on, positive or negative, then people should respect them and not mention it.

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wordswork avatar
RoseAnne Hutchence
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry, kids, but fat is ugly. Not sexy. And our entire society seems to revolve around appearances being of utmost importance. That starts in grade school. Where were you that you didn't get the message? Being fat is also a huge signpost yelling "I have no self respect" or self discipline.

sandrabollox avatar
Sandra Bollox
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Um being healthy and fat are not possible. I think she was trying to say that fat is one of the characteristics of health. But I will die on this hill, being fat is not good for health in any way, shape or form. Fat meaning excessive fat for your body. It leads to cardiac and vascular problems, hepatic and renal problems, skeletal, nerve, lung, skin, and even psych. It is not up for debate. It is scientific fact. This is coming from someone who is definitely over their ideal body weight. Notice how I didn't say that it's the same for everyone to keep fat off. Notice how I didn't say that it isn't okay to be fat. Notice how regular weight, and below weight are not included in my comment but their omission does not imply "health". But for the love of all that is holy, please stop saying fat is healthy. Your article is about the treatment from other people due to looks. Great. I'm with you all the way. But DO NOT say that fat is healthy.

cocottelabroue avatar
Brigitte Labrie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get it, I’m fat too. Yes, some people are fatphobic, some people don’t mind their damn business, and some fat people hate themselves, and project that hate onto others. Losing weight doesn’t automatically heal you or make you love yourself. The odds are her family did love her and worry about her health, but she was too angry to see it for what it was.

lyuben-petko avatar
Lyuben Petkov
Community Member
1 year ago

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those are the rules of the game in the western society, it is not fair, but this is also how the law of attraction works

staphgirl79 avatar
Mistiekim
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We aren’t talking about the law of attraction. We are talking about a person having a door held open for them when they are thinner vs. not being held open when they are heavier. You suddenly exist in the world when you are thinner, even though you’ve been here all along.

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John Brant
Community Member
1 year ago

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So the point is as I understand it...fat-shaming is bad (like duh), being supportive of weight loss (and finding attractiveness in that) is also bad...do I have that right?

staphgirl79 avatar
Mistiekim
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No - the point is that a person should be treated the same in both “forms”. The OP was not - her family treated her differently when she was heavier than when she was thinner (like society does). As far as being supportive of weight loss, not all instances are due to someone’s choice. It’s best to compliment people in a way that has nothing to do with the weight loss. Like “you look very pretty/good today” or “That’s a nice outfit”. Not “Wow! You lost so much weight! You look awesome!”

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deth17 avatar
Jayson Barlow
Community Member
1 year ago

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lmao this article. What a fat pig, you deserve to be shamed every last one of you.

acey-ace16 avatar
Ace
Community Member
1 year ago

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I don't get it. Of course they're going to be treated differently, surely that's part of the point of losing weight, isn't it?

othornhill6792 avatar
Bisces
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What? Why would they be treated differently? Why SHOULD they? No, that's not part of the point of losing weight.

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