This Tale Of A Naked Woman Lost In A German Sauna Is “A Palate Cleanser” During Stressful Times
Many of us feel stuck in a sense of impending corona doom where the unknown is just making matters worse. But luckily, there’s one volunteer who has stepped in to provide a unique public service.
And that’s a well-needed shot of laughter from a woman named Anbara Salam. The British-Arab writer shared an episode from the most embarrassing moment of her life with a few unlikely variables—a German sauna, a lobster, a fire escape, and the naked protagonist herself.
158K likes later, Salam’s Twitter post is viral. It now serves as an unprecedented “palate cleanser” to remove that stressful residue left by yet another hard-to-swallow batch of corona news. But a funny story is a gift that keeps on giving, so let’s share some gems in the comments below!
The Oxford-based writer offered her story as a public service during hard times
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The woman recounted an episode from a decade ago which spiraled out of control real fast
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People were quick to comment on Anbara’s story
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Share on FacebookWhat kind of total douche would make someone walk naked through a public place. For Christ's sake. She writes really humorously, but that is so traumatizing and humiliating. Give her your jacket or something, dude. I'm glad she's able to be funny about it. I would have had a complete mental breakdown.
From my experience, German people really don't give a s**t about modesty. Actually, it seems like it's par for the course in most of mainland Europe and Scandinavia. There's probably some "No Public Nudity" laws for the majority of places, but I was using shared bathrooms in France more than 20 years ago, going swimming in Germany where bathing suits/bikinis were optional (and no, I wasn't at a nudist resort, it was a typical outdoor pool), and I've been told Swedish people let it all out in the saunas, just like this woman had to, albeit she was in Germany. Most likely, the frustration from the staff was due to having to rescue a tourist who should have asked for directions, and the looks from those in the queue were probably of confusion as to why she was naked BEFORE going in, instead of undressing inside. The German people I met were no-nonsense, logical, and very smart. In fact, if it wasn't for their cuisine disagreeing with me, I'd be living there right now.
Load More Replies...I am extremely confused why the man didn't give her anything to cover herself with and made her walk naked to the reception. He could have gone there himself and brought back someone who could help her. Did he just want to watch her suffer?
And not one person the whole time had a coat or sweater they could offer her? What a hostile place.
Load More Replies...26 years ago I was 7 mos pregnant with my 2nd daughter. On a business trip to New Jersey staying at the Hyatt or something. One morning I'm getting out of the shower and hear the thunk of the daily newspaper being dropped at the door. I rushed to grab it before it was nabbed, as had happened a couple of times already. As I reached down to grab the paper my foot slipped from between the door which then slammed shut, nabbing the corner of my towel in the door jamb and stripping me of any modesty. I had to march my pregnant naked self down to the reception area with nothing but USAToday strategically placed over my boobs and - well you know. Thank God it was 5:00 am and not 5:00 pm...
Frankly, I doubt this happened the way it was described and I'd like to hear the spa's version of events. Maybe my opinion of my countrymen is too high, but I don't know a single person that would lead a lost, distraught naked woman around a building and through a lobby without giving her something to cover herself. Seriously, I would've given her my shirt and walked her back inside the spa in my bra, so why the guy who got her out didn't lend her his shirt is beyond me. Another thing I don't understand is the frantic switching around of the washcloth. When both your arms are free, you can use one to cover your groin with the washcloth and the other to cover your nipples. I just don't buy it.
Y'know, you don't know every citizen of Germany personally, right, love?
Load More Replies...I think I've been to this place. It's called Therme Erding. It's huge. Has indoor water park. But who the hell opens door and continues while noticing its is obviously the wrong way especially while naked??!?!?! How about holding the door open????
My sympathies. To me the worst part would be is that this is one of those incidents. The ones your mind drags up out of nowhere and beats you with.
Tinder profile: "I will never travel to Germany for any reason".
OMG! I haven't laughed that much in a while! 🤣 Wait... It an hour for her to get back into the spa? 😲
I mean could the employee have not opened the top door for her?
How about a sign on that door to the left at the end of the corridor? Or a less forceful door shutting mechanism so one would have time to realize "this is not the sauna" before the door shuts...
Well, at the end you explained in perfect detail, why the BF is an ex. What a jerk. I cannot believe no one got you a robe or SOMETHING! But maybe you look very nice naked and they wanted to keep looking at you that way. You are now a SUPERHERO! Nothing can embarrass you now, or ever!!
Oh, that's nothing. I was at a sauna at a hotel in Greece, I was drunk and leaned against the wall. It was the emergency exit. I stumbled out and my towel was caught in the door. I yanked and ripped it into strips. I had to go around the building and beg one of the bellhops to get me something to cover with. He brought out a jacket from lost and found -- thanks dude. Then I had to convince reception that my stuff was in a locker in the fitness area.
I suspect an employee of the spa would know some basic english like "bathrobe please". Perhaps she just blanked with panic but I'm farily certain my instinct the moment I realize I have to go through reception would be to just NOPE and stop and try everything in means of communication before doing that. I wonder what kind of jobsworth designed that ventilation room. It has a service lift, which obviously serves some kind of maintenance purpose as lifts are not used in case of a fire, but the only two way door to this ventilation room is the fire exit out of the building. Imagine showing up to this place to fix the vents, you go into this room and check the fans and then you have to go out, around the whole building, in through the reception to get to the saunas they are attached to. I get the one way exit for plain fire exits, but for a mechanical room, what.
This story makes me too angry for me to find it humorous. Everyone in this story except the author is devoid of a shred of empathy. Garbage humans.
I would absolutely sue the C**P out of that "spa" How absolutely shameful his behaviour!
What are you talking about? Nobody in Germany just roams around naked, let alone in parks. There are designated areas on the beaches where you do FKK. It's really not that common.
Load More Replies...Sorry but I'm confused - there was nothing and no-one to do with America involved. Besides the fact that most people would feel extremely vulnerable in this situation! The proportions - she was in a country where a) she didn't know the language b) didn't know where she was and how to get back to safety and c) was a**e-naked in front of scads of people just staring at her. Poor flipping woman!
Load More Replies...What kind of total douche would make someone walk naked through a public place. For Christ's sake. She writes really humorously, but that is so traumatizing and humiliating. Give her your jacket or something, dude. I'm glad she's able to be funny about it. I would have had a complete mental breakdown.
From my experience, German people really don't give a s**t about modesty. Actually, it seems like it's par for the course in most of mainland Europe and Scandinavia. There's probably some "No Public Nudity" laws for the majority of places, but I was using shared bathrooms in France more than 20 years ago, going swimming in Germany where bathing suits/bikinis were optional (and no, I wasn't at a nudist resort, it was a typical outdoor pool), and I've been told Swedish people let it all out in the saunas, just like this woman had to, albeit she was in Germany. Most likely, the frustration from the staff was due to having to rescue a tourist who should have asked for directions, and the looks from those in the queue were probably of confusion as to why she was naked BEFORE going in, instead of undressing inside. The German people I met were no-nonsense, logical, and very smart. In fact, if it wasn't for their cuisine disagreeing with me, I'd be living there right now.
Load More Replies...I am extremely confused why the man didn't give her anything to cover herself with and made her walk naked to the reception. He could have gone there himself and brought back someone who could help her. Did he just want to watch her suffer?
And not one person the whole time had a coat or sweater they could offer her? What a hostile place.
Load More Replies...26 years ago I was 7 mos pregnant with my 2nd daughter. On a business trip to New Jersey staying at the Hyatt or something. One morning I'm getting out of the shower and hear the thunk of the daily newspaper being dropped at the door. I rushed to grab it before it was nabbed, as had happened a couple of times already. As I reached down to grab the paper my foot slipped from between the door which then slammed shut, nabbing the corner of my towel in the door jamb and stripping me of any modesty. I had to march my pregnant naked self down to the reception area with nothing but USAToday strategically placed over my boobs and - well you know. Thank God it was 5:00 am and not 5:00 pm...
Frankly, I doubt this happened the way it was described and I'd like to hear the spa's version of events. Maybe my opinion of my countrymen is too high, but I don't know a single person that would lead a lost, distraught naked woman around a building and through a lobby without giving her something to cover herself. Seriously, I would've given her my shirt and walked her back inside the spa in my bra, so why the guy who got her out didn't lend her his shirt is beyond me. Another thing I don't understand is the frantic switching around of the washcloth. When both your arms are free, you can use one to cover your groin with the washcloth and the other to cover your nipples. I just don't buy it.
Y'know, you don't know every citizen of Germany personally, right, love?
Load More Replies...I think I've been to this place. It's called Therme Erding. It's huge. Has indoor water park. But who the hell opens door and continues while noticing its is obviously the wrong way especially while naked??!?!?! How about holding the door open????
My sympathies. To me the worst part would be is that this is one of those incidents. The ones your mind drags up out of nowhere and beats you with.
Tinder profile: "I will never travel to Germany for any reason".
OMG! I haven't laughed that much in a while! 🤣 Wait... It an hour for her to get back into the spa? 😲
I mean could the employee have not opened the top door for her?
How about a sign on that door to the left at the end of the corridor? Or a less forceful door shutting mechanism so one would have time to realize "this is not the sauna" before the door shuts...
Well, at the end you explained in perfect detail, why the BF is an ex. What a jerk. I cannot believe no one got you a robe or SOMETHING! But maybe you look very nice naked and they wanted to keep looking at you that way. You are now a SUPERHERO! Nothing can embarrass you now, or ever!!
Oh, that's nothing. I was at a sauna at a hotel in Greece, I was drunk and leaned against the wall. It was the emergency exit. I stumbled out and my towel was caught in the door. I yanked and ripped it into strips. I had to go around the building and beg one of the bellhops to get me something to cover with. He brought out a jacket from lost and found -- thanks dude. Then I had to convince reception that my stuff was in a locker in the fitness area.
I suspect an employee of the spa would know some basic english like "bathrobe please". Perhaps she just blanked with panic but I'm farily certain my instinct the moment I realize I have to go through reception would be to just NOPE and stop and try everything in means of communication before doing that. I wonder what kind of jobsworth designed that ventilation room. It has a service lift, which obviously serves some kind of maintenance purpose as lifts are not used in case of a fire, but the only two way door to this ventilation room is the fire exit out of the building. Imagine showing up to this place to fix the vents, you go into this room and check the fans and then you have to go out, around the whole building, in through the reception to get to the saunas they are attached to. I get the one way exit for plain fire exits, but for a mechanical room, what.
This story makes me too angry for me to find it humorous. Everyone in this story except the author is devoid of a shred of empathy. Garbage humans.
I would absolutely sue the C**P out of that "spa" How absolutely shameful his behaviour!
What are you talking about? Nobody in Germany just roams around naked, let alone in parks. There are designated areas on the beaches where you do FKK. It's really not that common.
Load More Replies...Sorry but I'm confused - there was nothing and no-one to do with America involved. Besides the fact that most people would feel extremely vulnerable in this situation! The proportions - she was in a country where a) she didn't know the language b) didn't know where she was and how to get back to safety and c) was a**e-naked in front of scads of people just staring at her. Poor flipping woman!
Load More Replies...
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