Mom Shares How A Neighbor Rushed To Her 13-Year-Old Daughter’s Rescue When She Was Being Stalked By A Strange Man
A Canadian radio news anchor working at CBC Montreal shared a harrowing tale on Twitter about how a strange man stalked her teenage daughter and made her burst into tears from fright. It’s every parent’s nightmare. Thankfully, Kristy Snell’s 13-year-old daughter was fine, as an everyday superhero neighbor stepped in to help, but what happened is not ok. In fact, it’s far from ok, but it’s an everyday occurrence for many women.
The man called out to the teenager, invaded her space, and scared her very much. Have a read through the story in Kristy’s own words below, Pandas, and let us know if you’ve ever been in a similar situation.
Emily May, the Co-Founder and Executive Director at ‘Hollaback!‘, told Bored Panda that parents need to find the time to speak with their children about harassment, even though it’s a very difficult topic to approach. “Most parents know they need to talk to their kids about puberty before it happens, but few take the time to talk to their kids about harassment, even though almost half will be harassed by older men by the time they turn 12. We need to equip young people with resources including: what harassment is, what it looks like, how prevalent it is, why it isn’t ok—and most importantly, that it’s never their fault,” she said.
A teenager got harassed by a stranger in her own neighborhood…
Image credits: Mary Taylor (not the actual photo)
…and her mom explained how a neighbor rushed to her rescue
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Image credits: Snellk
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Image credits: Snellk
Image credits: Snellk
Image credits: Snellk
Image credits: Snellk
May, from ‘Hollaback!’, noted that most young women who are victims of harassment blame themselves for the experience. This, in turn, makes them hesitant to talk about what happened with their parents because they’re afraid that their parents will blame them, too. The expert told Bored Panda that they’re afraid that their family will ask them questions like, “Why were you wearing that?” or, “Why did you take that route?”
“In the same way we tell our teenage kids that if they get drunk and don’t feel safe driving home we will pick them up from wherever they are, no questions asked—we also need to tell our kids that if someone harasses them we will never, ever blame them for it or punish them for it. This is important for creating a safe space so that they have a trusted adult they can process these experiences with,” May said.
Bored Panda wanted to know how victims of harassment can regain the sense of security they used to have in certain areas like their neighborhoods. According to May, this is challenging. And, unfortunately, some people never end up regaining that sense of security.
“One thing that can help you build a sense of safety, however, is community. Take the time to get to know the good folks in your neighborhood and build positive relationships with not just your neighbors, but the people who deliver the mail, the trash folks, the guy that mows your neighbor’s lawn, etc. The more people you know, the more people will have your back if something happens again. Knowing this can increase your sense of safety and belonging in your community,” May explained how the local community is the backbone of safety.
Here’s how some Twitter users reacted to the story. Many opened up about their own experiences of being harassed
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Some Twitter users used the “not all men” argument
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Earlier, Bored Panda also spoke about ending street harassment with May, the Co-Founder and Executive Director at ‘Hollaback!’. “Street harassment is sexual, gender-based, and bias-motivated harassment that takes place in public spaces like the street, the supermarket, and the social media we use every day. At its core is a power dynamic that constantly reminds historically subordinated groups of our vulnerability to assault in public spaces,” she said.
“Street harassment can happen to anyone, but disproportionately punishes women, girls, LGBTQ+ people, and other marginalized groups for being themselves in the world,” May explained which groups of people are most at-risk.
According to her, there is an entire spectrum of gender-based violence, with stalking, following, and comments about your appearance on one side and more severe forms of street harassment like groping on the other end of the spectrum.
Street harassment is all about power, according to May. “If street harassment were about getting dates, it would be what author Marty Langelan calls a ‘spectacularly unsuccessful strategy.’ Instead, street harassment is about ‘putting people in their place,” she explained that harassers want to project their power onto their victims and make them feel weak.
“Remember that it’s not your fault. And because it’s not your fault, it’s also not your responsibility to have the perfect response to street harassment. It’s their responsibility not to harass you.”
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Also I am so sick of the "not all men" idiots. Do they really think we don't know not all men are creeps? It comes off as patronizing, mansplaining and belittling a serious issue.
Exactly. How do they not realise that we know it's 'not all men'; the problem is that women don't know WHICH men.
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When I worked in downtown Seattle, walking to my car was dangerous late at night. My father made me take his portable boat horn with me. I had befriended a lot of the homeless people on the route by giving them the breads and pastries that were going to be tossed out from the bakery where I worked. One day, some creepy guy started following me to my car. I turned and saw him and he stopped for a second, then smirked and kept following me. I pulled out the boat horn and hit it. Two homeless guys emerged from doorways, saw the guy and chased him off. They got an extra helping of cookies the next night!!
I'm sorry, I know it wasn't necessary funny but still made me laugh. I think it reminded me of an old cartoon or something
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She lost her innocence that day. F*****g men who think they can do whatever they want terrorizing girls and women.
Some of them have zero idea that women perceive this sort of thing way differently than a man. Some men have a puerile sense of humor, and think following someone, or jumping out from behind something, will be seen as just a funny “jump scare” prank—-just like their male friends would. But we’re NOT their male friends. There’s way more at stake for us, when this is done by a stranger—-or even by a friend who’s suddenly acting creepy—-and we don’t see it as just a funny joke. Even when we explain the situation to them, it still doesn’t completely sink in for the majority of them. However, seeing the realization dawn on the few who do finally get it is incredibly satisfying, though still incredibly rare.
Load More Replies... I’m 60, and still remember the first time I was nearly a victim of one of these creeps. I was 11, which would make it 1972. I was walking home from a friend’s house when a total stranger pulls up next to me, in a seventies muscle car (burgundy colored—-yeah, I remember it and him), opens his passenger side door and starts saying “Get in! Get in!” like there’s some emergency and he’s been sent to bring me home. I had never seen him before, and he didn’t look like any of my older brothers’ friends. Luckily the sidewalk was about three feet higher than the road, so I was out of reach. He kept hollering at me to get into the car. I just yelled back, loud enough for people in their yards to hear, that I didn’t know him and I am NOT getting in his car!! People did hear me, and one neighbor started coming down his driveway toward the car. The creep peeled off, passenger side door still open, and was never seen in the area again. Told my parents when I got home, and reported him to the police.
The kind of story unfortunately seems to be happening all too often. However, I find the selection of comments posted along with it really strange. All kind of people seem to try to instrument the original Tweets for their purpose, telling the mother what she should have done, telling the daughter what she should have done, or opening a general debate on men and society. I believe that what we all should do is to create environments in which our children can walk down the streets without the need to worry – and this takes more than any Tweet-length suggestion could convey.
That's what happens to women when anything like this (or worse) happens. MOST of the people we tell about it tell us that it's our fault.
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The problem is the man. A grown man that is sexually attracted by a child. A grown man that attempts to follow a child who is just walking by & engage her in conversation by asking where she’s going. A grown man whose plan could be to kidnap her & rape her. This happened to a 11 year old, her mother was in the house & the little girl went on ahead to wait at the bus stop just outside. A car drives by & a sick sick 30 year old man suddenly stops. He runs over & grabs her. She managed to fight him off & he immediately runs away back to his car. They say 1 in 30 men are paedophiles, a lot of the time I think so they walk past kids, calculate in their head if this is the one, if anyone else around & decide to hell with it, i’m gonna try & do something, these men should be executed
ughh "not all men" if you are saying that then you most likely are one of the men why can't they understand that they are terrifying to little girls especially stalking them down the street how can you possibly be that blind to what is happening this makes me so angry but because I am "just a girl" we have to wait until men catch on and get a taste of reality
A lot of them wouldn't assault someone, but would totally joke and talk with someone no matter how uncomfortable she obviously is. Then when politely informed of the issue, they would get offended and double down while claiming they are not "that" kind of guy
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I was eleven. I was in the countryside, of course, being a farm kid, walking along the road to school. (Yes, we walked.) He wouldn't stop driving alongside me asking me to get in, so I did what my mom taught me to do. Jump the ditch, run into the woods, the *First* time the guy didn't take my "No, go away" as an answer. Showed up to school a total mess. So, yeah, he MIGHT have been okay. Or he might NOT. Want to roll the dice on that? Hell no. Not me. Evne people who were/are known can be dangers.
This is why we have raised (and are raising our sons) to take the no even trying to be helpful. You don't know what is triggering in her brain. You don't know how she is feeling. You may have been 100% polite and aboveboard, doesn't mean experience hasn't made it scary for her. Accept the no sand PROVE you're not the kind of man/guy. Show you can be trusted by respecting her and BEING trustworthy
Load More Replies...
😔 everywhere in the world, every girl and woman... all have to be aware of this happening and the worst part is just because the girl gets away doesn’t mean that she’s okay.
Story from yesterday (Silesia,Poland) at Saturday afternoon 11 y.o boy was with his friends at the playground in very small neighborhood where everyone knows each other. A 41 y.o man lured the boy to his car because he was convinced he was a girl (the boy had shoulder length hair) the boy texted his mom at 7 p.m. "if he can be at home half hour later" and disappear. The man kept him for hours in car because he didn't know what to do with him bc "he wanted a girl", he eventually decided to let him go but kid said " anyways I need to tell my mom where I was because it's late night already" after that perv killed him... bc "he was afraid that kid will recognise him" ;( The Police catched the perv in 40 mins but they found boy on the next day when the man told them. Tragic loss. We need to educate our children and warn them how they can protect themselves when we're not around... My daughter has a GPS watch and whistle, she's 13.
Instead of all these mini hidden cameras designed to aid creeps with their voyeurism, can someone design a livestream emergency body cam women can wear on their coats?
You mean like a police body cam? The technology exists.
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I advocate all women and girls carrying mace. We should all mace in the face every man who gets too close and won't back off when asked. Then kick him in the nuts and run.
I would advocate against it, and there is scientific backup for this: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0169814120306491 Proper use of pepper spray requires regular practice; otherwise, self-harming is likely or, even worse, an attacker migth use it against the victim. The cited study also underlines that pepper spray tends to not be at hand when needed. Thus, raising awareness and taking self-defense lessons seem to be much better than the merely seeming safety of carrying a weapon.
Load More Replies...
Those of us who are rightfully appalled we have to have a talk with our daughters about being safe at such a young age and shattering their child-like impressions of life... I hope we can also be sympathetic to all black parents of boys who have to have the same discussions. None of these kids asked for society to be so stupid and dangerous because of a gender or race. Be kind.
Step 1 is "always record these pedophiles as you approach them and intervene on the child's behalf." They may get away, but once they go viral, someone is bound to recognize them.
Maybe we should insist that the men who would creep on anyone get large, bright permanent facial tattoos proclaiming them predators? Then we would know which men. Not all men are the problem, only the ones who think little girls should know the difference.
When I was younger I was the puniest girl, with a squeaky voice. My friend and I went out to karaoke but the place seemed sketchy. A man kept bothering us and we tried to be polite, but then he started to reach across the table toward my friend. I may have been five foot nothing, but I slammed my hand down on the table, and told him to back off. I scared him enough that he did back off. But as we quickly left, he followed us. No one else stood up for us or bothered to help. Instead I led us into a brightly lit grocery store, and we sat there, until he lost patience and went away.
The threat of abduction/abuse of my beautiful son had me seek out personal safety/martial arts classes... he learned strategies for self defense and self awareness- and earned his black belt by the age of 12. He can kick serious butt, however you'd never know it. We love our Dojo
I walked my daughters to school and back our school was 10 minutes away and then they closed it and the new school was a 12 stop public bus away so I took my youngest to school on the bus she was 5 and my other daughter had started senior school and there was about 8 of them and I don't remember any one having to put up with this behaviour we must educate our sons on how to behave towards girls/women
This isn't really a thing where I'm from but I did experience this once I moved to London at 19.
Well, given the fact that the vast majority of men are addicted to online p*rnography with teenaged themes, and are thus conditioning themselves to be attracted to younger and younger women, are we really surprised that they are turning into pedophilic creeps who are harassing young girls? It's only going to get worse. Arm your young teenaged daughters with pepper spray. If she has to use it on creeps like this and gets charged (because the criminal justice system hates women) , as a young offender she will likely only get probation and community service if she has no priors. Worth it, as opposed to her getting grabbed and assaulted by p*rnsick dudes.
The girl was 13, not 5. And how is the mom being neglectful and careless? My parents let me and my siblings walk to the bus stop.
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I'm from the UK and this is bullsh*t. It may be safer and less common in rural areas, but it still happens a lot. Not sure how you have been lucky enough not to experience it directly or know someone who has had a similar experience.
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Also I am so sick of the "not all men" idiots. Do they really think we don't know not all men are creeps? It comes off as patronizing, mansplaining and belittling a serious issue.
Exactly. How do they not realise that we know it's 'not all men'; the problem is that women don't know WHICH men.
Load More Replies... When I worked in downtown Seattle, walking to my car was dangerous late at night. My father made me take his portable boat horn with me. I had befriended a lot of the homeless people on the route by giving them the breads and pastries that were going to be tossed out from the bakery where I worked. One day, some creepy guy started following me to my car. I turned and saw him and he stopped for a second, then smirked and kept following me. I pulled out the boat horn and hit it. Two homeless guys emerged from doorways, saw the guy and chased him off. They got an extra helping of cookies the next night!!
I'm sorry, I know it wasn't necessary funny but still made me laugh. I think it reminded me of an old cartoon or something
Load More Replies... She lost her innocence that day. F*****g men who think they can do whatever they want terrorizing girls and women.
Some of them have zero idea that women perceive this sort of thing way differently than a man. Some men have a puerile sense of humor, and think following someone, or jumping out from behind something, will be seen as just a funny “jump scare” prank—-just like their male friends would. But we’re NOT their male friends. There’s way more at stake for us, when this is done by a stranger—-or even by a friend who’s suddenly acting creepy—-and we don’t see it as just a funny joke. Even when we explain the situation to them, it still doesn’t completely sink in for the majority of them. However, seeing the realization dawn on the few who do finally get it is incredibly satisfying, though still incredibly rare.
Load More Replies... I’m 60, and still remember the first time I was nearly a victim of one of these creeps. I was 11, which would make it 1972. I was walking home from a friend’s house when a total stranger pulls up next to me, in a seventies muscle car (burgundy colored—-yeah, I remember it and him), opens his passenger side door and starts saying “Get in! Get in!” like there’s some emergency and he’s been sent to bring me home. I had never seen him before, and he didn’t look like any of my older brothers’ friends. Luckily the sidewalk was about three feet higher than the road, so I was out of reach. He kept hollering at me to get into the car. I just yelled back, loud enough for people in their yards to hear, that I didn’t know him and I am NOT getting in his car!! People did hear me, and one neighbor started coming down his driveway toward the car. The creep peeled off, passenger side door still open, and was never seen in the area again. Told my parents when I got home, and reported him to the police.
The kind of story unfortunately seems to be happening all too often. However, I find the selection of comments posted along with it really strange. All kind of people seem to try to instrument the original Tweets for their purpose, telling the mother what she should have done, telling the daughter what she should have done, or opening a general debate on men and society. I believe that what we all should do is to create environments in which our children can walk down the streets without the need to worry – and this takes more than any Tweet-length suggestion could convey.
That's what happens to women when anything like this (or worse) happens. MOST of the people we tell about it tell us that it's our fault.
Load More Replies... The problem is the man. A grown man that is sexually attracted by a child. A grown man that attempts to follow a child who is just walking by & engage her in conversation by asking where she’s going. A grown man whose plan could be to kidnap her & rape her. This happened to a 11 year old, her mother was in the house & the little girl went on ahead to wait at the bus stop just outside. A car drives by & a sick sick 30 year old man suddenly stops. He runs over & grabs her. She managed to fight him off & he immediately runs away back to his car. They say 1 in 30 men are paedophiles, a lot of the time I think so they walk past kids, calculate in their head if this is the one, if anyone else around & decide to hell with it, i’m gonna try & do something, these men should be executed
ughh "not all men" if you are saying that then you most likely are one of the men why can't they understand that they are terrifying to little girls especially stalking them down the street how can you possibly be that blind to what is happening this makes me so angry but because I am "just a girl" we have to wait until men catch on and get a taste of reality
A lot of them wouldn't assault someone, but would totally joke and talk with someone no matter how uncomfortable she obviously is. Then when politely informed of the issue, they would get offended and double down while claiming they are not "that" kind of guy
Load More Replies... I was eleven. I was in the countryside, of course, being a farm kid, walking along the road to school. (Yes, we walked.) He wouldn't stop driving alongside me asking me to get in, so I did what my mom taught me to do. Jump the ditch, run into the woods, the *First* time the guy didn't take my "No, go away" as an answer. Showed up to school a total mess. So, yeah, he MIGHT have been okay. Or he might NOT. Want to roll the dice on that? Hell no. Not me. Evne people who were/are known can be dangers.
This is why we have raised (and are raising our sons) to take the no even trying to be helpful. You don't know what is triggering in her brain. You don't know how she is feeling. You may have been 100% polite and aboveboard, doesn't mean experience hasn't made it scary for her. Accept the no sand PROVE you're not the kind of man/guy. Show you can be trusted by respecting her and BEING trustworthy
Load More Replies... 😔 everywhere in the world, every girl and woman... all have to be aware of this happening and the worst part is just because the girl gets away doesn’t mean that she’s okay.
Story from yesterday (Silesia,Poland) at Saturday afternoon 11 y.o boy was with his friends at the playground in very small neighborhood where everyone knows each other. A 41 y.o man lured the boy to his car because he was convinced he was a girl (the boy had shoulder length hair) the boy texted his mom at 7 p.m. "if he can be at home half hour later" and disappear. The man kept him for hours in car because he didn't know what to do with him bc "he wanted a girl", he eventually decided to let him go but kid said " anyways I need to tell my mom where I was because it's late night already" after that perv killed him... bc "he was afraid that kid will recognise him" ;( The Police catched the perv in 40 mins but they found boy on the next day when the man told them. Tragic loss. We need to educate our children and warn them how they can protect themselves when we're not around... My daughter has a GPS watch and whistle, she's 13.
Instead of all these mini hidden cameras designed to aid creeps with their voyeurism, can someone design a livestream emergency body cam women can wear on their coats?
You mean like a police body cam? The technology exists.
Load More Replies... I advocate all women and girls carrying mace. We should all mace in the face every man who gets too close and won't back off when asked. Then kick him in the nuts and run.
I would advocate against it, and there is scientific backup for this: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0169814120306491 Proper use of pepper spray requires regular practice; otherwise, self-harming is likely or, even worse, an attacker migth use it against the victim. The cited study also underlines that pepper spray tends to not be at hand when needed. Thus, raising awareness and taking self-defense lessons seem to be much better than the merely seeming safety of carrying a weapon.
Load More Replies... Those of us who are rightfully appalled we have to have a talk with our daughters about being safe at such a young age and shattering their child-like impressions of life... I hope we can also be sympathetic to all black parents of boys who have to have the same discussions. None of these kids asked for society to be so stupid and dangerous because of a gender or race. Be kind.
Step 1 is "always record these pedophiles as you approach them and intervene on the child's behalf." They may get away, but once they go viral, someone is bound to recognize them.
Maybe we should insist that the men who would creep on anyone get large, bright permanent facial tattoos proclaiming them predators? Then we would know which men. Not all men are the problem, only the ones who think little girls should know the difference.
When I was younger I was the puniest girl, with a squeaky voice. My friend and I went out to karaoke but the place seemed sketchy. A man kept bothering us and we tried to be polite, but then he started to reach across the table toward my friend. I may have been five foot nothing, but I slammed my hand down on the table, and told him to back off. I scared him enough that he did back off. But as we quickly left, he followed us. No one else stood up for us or bothered to help. Instead I led us into a brightly lit grocery store, and we sat there, until he lost patience and went away.
The threat of abduction/abuse of my beautiful son had me seek out personal safety/martial arts classes... he learned strategies for self defense and self awareness- and earned his black belt by the age of 12. He can kick serious butt, however you'd never know it. We love our Dojo
I walked my daughters to school and back our school was 10 minutes away and then they closed it and the new school was a 12 stop public bus away so I took my youngest to school on the bus she was 5 and my other daughter had started senior school and there was about 8 of them and I don't remember any one having to put up with this behaviour we must educate our sons on how to behave towards girls/women
This isn't really a thing where I'm from but I did experience this once I moved to London at 19.
Well, given the fact that the vast majority of men are addicted to online p*rnography with teenaged themes, and are thus conditioning themselves to be attracted to younger and younger women, are we really surprised that they are turning into pedophilic creeps who are harassing young girls? It's only going to get worse. Arm your young teenaged daughters with pepper spray. If she has to use it on creeps like this and gets charged (because the criminal justice system hates women) , as a young offender she will likely only get probation and community service if she has no priors. Worth it, as opposed to her getting grabbed and assaulted by p*rnsick dudes.
The girl was 13, not 5. And how is the mom being neglectful and careless? My parents let me and my siblings walk to the bus stop.
Load More Replies... I'm from the UK and this is bullsh*t. It may be safer and less common in rural areas, but it still happens a lot. Not sure how you have been lucky enough not to experience it directly or know someone who has had a similar experience.
Load More Replies...
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