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Moving in together with your partner is said to be one of the greatest joys in life. Not only do you get to start each day with your soulmate by your side, but you also get to learn all their quirks — however annoying they may be.

In Michaela‘s and Alex‘s case, the couple quickly noticed that besides some occasional snoring or contrasting spending habits, their upbringing in different economic classes made the pair appreciate and do things quite differently.

To celebrate these differences, the couple shared their contradicting habits on TikTok in a three-part series that has been viewed almost 9 million times.

After noticing the differences in their habits, this couple released a series of TikToks that captures what it’s like to live with someone who comes from a different social class

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@cuddleswpuddles All I could fit in 60s. #poverty #upperclass #lowerclass #middleclass #millennial #foodinsecurity #couple #marriage #ROMWEGetGraphic #fyp #foryou ♬ original sound - cuddles
#1

Woman Grew Up Poor While Her Husband Grew Up In Upper Class, Here Are 10 Of Their Differences When grocery shopping, Alex would always get the name brand. I had to teach him that store brand is just as good with a few notable exceptions.

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In the paper titled 'Is America coming apart?' the authors argue that income inequality and the gap between the rich and poor are at their "all-time high." Hence the increasing segregation between different socioeconomic classes.

In order to find out if class differences affect intimate relationships — as highlighted in Michaela's and Alex's case — Jessi Streib, Duke University's sociology professor and the author of 'The Power of the Past: Understanding Cross-Class Marriages', has dedicated his entire research to this. "So often we think about how class differences keep us apart," Streib explained to Bored Panda. "I wanted to know if and how they draw us together."

After studying and extensively interviewing 32 couples in which one partner comes from a well-to-do family and the other from a "blue-collar" one —as well as 10 couples in which both partners grew up in the same economic class— Jessi was able to discover that "strangers who grew up in the same social class had more in common with each other than they did with spouses with whom they shared their lives."

#2

Woman Grew Up Poor While Her Husband Grew Up In Upper Class, Here Are 10 Of Their Differences Alex grew up with only purebred poodles as his dogs. My childhood dog was a mutt from the pound. But together we adopted this pitbull mix from the county shelter in Atlanta.

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Jessi thinks that the 'opposites attract' law, which not only applies to people's personalities but apparently their upbringing in different socioeconomic backgrounds too, partly comes from problem-solving. "People in each class face a distinct set of problems, and sometimes those who grow up in other classes have the solutions," she said.

"For example, people who grew up with white-collar parents often felt that their parents pushed them to have academic and extracurricular achievements." Which, as most of us are aware, means being away from your beloved family — something that folks from the lower-class get to experience less often due to lack of funds or opportunities.

As Jessi explains, this is all connected because "people from white-collar backgrounds are then often drawn to people from blue-collar backgrounds because they see them as able to help them have the close family relationships they always wanted."

#3

Woman Grew Up Poor While Her Husband Grew Up In Upper Class, Here Are 10 Of Their Differences Michaela keeps everything from every takeout restaurant we've ever ordered from. There's a whole drawer full of this stuff. She also keeps all of our gift bags which is great for holidays, birthdays, gift-giving, making it a lot easier.

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Jihana
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, the gift bag one is just logical. Most of the times they are as good as new. Had a tradition with a friend where we kept gifting each other the same bag back and forth for several years.

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#4

Woman Grew Up Poor While Her Husband Grew Up In Upper Class, Here Are 10 Of Their Differences I like to finish all of our leftovers. Michaela will not finish the last of anything in the fridge. This is a byproduct of her growing up with food insecurity and not necessarily knowing where her next meal will come from.

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LAWLAWLAW
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never realised I had this until I read this, thank you for helping me understand myself

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The biggest hurdle that mixed-class couples faced, according to Jessi's study, was the difference in planning and preparation. "The big difference that couples faced was whether to manage everything or to take it as it comes."

To our own surprise, partners from wealthy families would usually take the lead. "They grew up with financial security and parents in positions of authority. This allowed them to be able to predict the future and want to try to control their surroundings," Streib reasoned.

"People who grew up in blue-collar families often have less financial security and authority. So other people and events throw things at them, and they become very good at reacting. Seeing the future as unpredictable, they want to take things as they come."

Or, to borrow a golden phrase from John Lennon: "Life happens when you're busy making other plans." As long as you're making those plans together, despite the differences in habits and upbringing, that's what matters in the end.

#5

Woman Grew Up Poor While Her Husband Grew Up In Upper Class, Here Are 10 Of Their Differences We are 26 and Alex has never bought a car, laptop, or cellphone himself. And I have purchased every car, laptop, and cellphone that I've ever owned.

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fuggnuggins
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I refuse to drive, unless required for work, or on very rare occasions, such as that I used to travel to pick my sons up in a rented car when they were younger. I think it's nonsensical that people detest war and such force and violence, yet make a conscious choice purchase products that require them to fund those wars. I walk, or use public transport. Since where I live there is still a mandate to wear face masks on public transport, and almost no other setting, I refuse to use public transport. So I purchased a bike. I'm not an invalid. I don't require a glorified mobility scooter.

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Himory TheDreamer
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry, but being able to buy a car makes you rich. I'm struggling with whether or nor accepting my dad offer of paying my driver license which would cost 4 months of his salary (he offered to buy/pay something for me to start working, I'm still evaluating what would give best chances to get a job).

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Klaatu Verrata (Cough)
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This reminds me of my partner and me. He was born with several silver spoons in his mouth (and maids to polish them), whereas I lived in 12 different homes and essentially raised myself and my siblings. When we were first dating, he was driving a 750Li, and I was driving my 3rd Sentra. All he ever had was $100k cars. So when his BMW started breaking down a lot and requiring $4k in repairs every few weeks, I suggested he look at the new Altimas. After he was done scoffing a bit, he agreed to go test drive one. He drove his new Altima off the showroom floor that same day, and has only owned Altimas since. Not only that, two colleagues of his (each of whom are worth many millions of dollars) who only drove fancy, uber-expensive cars bought Altimas, as well, once they drove his. So...luxury isn't all it's cracked up to be.

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covi16
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Alex has never bought a car, laptop, or cellphone himself" this hits hard cuz I remember other kids at school having everything they want and I was going home to an empty fridge :')

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Gypsy Lee
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I even had to pay for my own birthday present. Still do. Just like at Christmas he believes presents buy themselves. It’s a thing.

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Cheryl Fontaine
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I too have purchased every car and tech with my own money my entire life.

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Everyone Is Lying
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At 26 he hasn't been on his own that long. I'm sure that has changed since you two are married now. It's not unusual for college students to be gifted these things, especially if they're focuses on academics.

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PumpernickelsBum
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I grew up poor, always food in fridge and fruit on the table but thats where it stops. I was never gifted these things. The people that i knew in similar lives that were gifted these things, those people worked extra hours and saved to buy them.

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago

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I also never bought a laptop or cellphone. I got them for free from my employer.

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NsG
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I assume his reason is because his parents bought them for him.

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Thomas Sweda
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2 years ago

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Is it a sign of poverty to have a bent nail in one’s nose?

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#6

Woman Grew Up Poor While Her Husband Grew Up In Upper Class, Here Are 10 Of Their Differences I keep all of my receipts in case there's something wrong with something that I bought and have to return it. Alex doesn't keep receipts because if there's something wrong with what he bought, he'll just buy another one.

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Other people have to be told by their parents to keep their receipts so they can always prove that they weren't shoplifting.

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#7

Woman Grew Up Poor While Her Husband Grew Up In Upper Class, Here Are 10 Of Their Differences Every time I leave a room and leave the light switch on, she will turn it off. Even if I'm going right back into that room a minute later.

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Viktor
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This seems to be outdated advice/habit. It made sense when light bulbs were using 60W a piece but modern LED bulbs use 1/10th of that. It's around 5 USD per year to keep a light bulb on 24/7 (using the US average price of 10.5 cents per kWh). If you have 10 lights on for 5 hours per day every day, then it costs you 12 USD per year. There is virtually no saving potential in this.

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#8

Woman Grew Up Poor While Her Husband Grew Up In Upper Class, Here Are 10 Of Their Differences When eating a meal, I always finished my plate because I was not allowed to leave the table until I finished my plate and was told I was wasteful, if I didn't. My husband will eat until he's full like a regular human.

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Rissie
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok, but that one is crazy thinking. Just put a smaller portion on your plate. Wasteful cooking comes from cooking more than necessary or not saving scraps.

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#9

Woman Grew Up Poor While Her Husband Grew Up In Upper Class, Here Are 10 Of Their Differences I have a collection of jars in case I can reuse them. I was taught to never throw anything away. And Alex will throw away or recycle stuff when he's done with it.

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Rissie
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's fine to save some, the risk of not having money goes to keeping everything even if you don't need it. Creating a mess you have to carry around with you. Because do you really ever need a jar so bad it's worth keeping for 10 years? It's the behavior that, in its extremes, has people end up hoarding unnecessary things.

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#10

Woman Grew Up Poor While Her Husband Grew Up In Upper Class, Here Are 10 Of Their Differences Alex is good at picking up but he's not as good at cleaning because he always had to pick up for the cleaning service that he had his whole life. I'm better at cleaning because if I wanted something to be clean, I had to do it myself, but I am just naturally messier than he is.

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No you can't have my name
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Remembering working two months in a camp housekeeping department and hearing stories about the 18 year olds who had never swept because of the nanny. -.-

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A lot of viewers could relate to Michaela's hardships and observations highlighted in their TikToks