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“Am I The Jerk For Putting My Fiancé’s Food In A Child’s Bowl?”
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“Am I The Jerk For Putting My Fiancé’s Food In A Child’s Bowl?”

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When love and sickness collide, it can often lead to a delicate balancing act. While one partner finds themselves taking on the role of caretaker, the other tries to get as much rest as possible without becoming too much of a burden.

In the case of Reddit user Piggymills, that didn’t go too well. The woman’s fiancé, who she values very much in life, turns into a “pathetic baby” whenever he’s ill. This got particularly annoying at the height of the pandemic when the man contracted a simple cold but acted as if it was a terrible life-threatening disease.

The last straw was him asking for his food to be cut up. Piggymills couldn’t take it anymore and decided to respond by highlighting how ridiculous that request really was. Later, though, she started having doubts if she overreacted, so she told what happened to the ‘Am I the [Jerk]?‘ community, inviting them to share their two cents on the conflict.

This woman was so annoyed by her fiancé “acting like a baby” whenever he’s sick, she decided to teach him a lesson

Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

And started treating him like a child

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Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)

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Credits: piggymills

All of this sounds like a prime example of man flu. The term is so ubiquitous that it has been included in the Oxford and Cambridge dictionaries. The prior defines it as “a cold or similar minor ailment as experienced by a man who is regarded as exaggerating the severity of the symptoms.”

It’s a popular theory, but the scientific evidence for it is far from conclusive. Some research, however, has shown that male and female immune cells react differently to invading viruses.

One study in mice added a lot of fuel to the fire, suggesting that the male sex really does get hit harder by certain illnesses—and that physiology, not psychology, may be at least partially to blame.

Published in the journal Brain, Behavior, and Immunity, it found that adult male mice displayed more symptoms of sickness than females when they were exposed to bacteria that cause an illness with symptoms similar to the flu. The males also had more fluctuations in body temperature, fever, and signs of inflammation, and took longer to recover.

Of course, studies done in lab animals do not necessarily apply to humans, so this research should be taken with a grain of salt. But experts who research gender and immunity say that it raises an intriguing scientific question for people, as well.

According to Sabra Klein, associate professor of molecular microbiology and immunology at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, tests with human cells do, in fact, show that male immune cells have more active receptors for certain pathogens.

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“It isn’t always the presence of the microbe or the presence of the virus that makes us sick,” Klein told TIME. “It’s our immune response, and the research shows that males have a heightened response that summons cells to the site of infection, which contributes to the overall feeling of sickness.”

The reason why isn’t yet understood, but one hypothesis holds that testosterone and estrogen affect these immune receptors in different ways. Klein’s own 2015 study on human cells, for instance, discovered that estrogen-based compounds made it harder for a flu virus to infect the samples.

So while men probably shouldn’t ask their partner to baby-feed them when they have a runny nose, their groans might be valid.

People had a lot to say on the issue, and the original poster (OP) shared more information on the fight she’s had with her fiancé

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 235 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Author, BoredPanda staff

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 235 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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Austėja Akavickaitė

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Austėja Akavickaitė

Austėja Akavickaitė

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Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography.

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michaelpiscopo avatar
michael piscopo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That reminds me of the time I was at a friends house to watch a Sunday football game. He was visibly upset that his wife had washed but not folded/hung his clothes for the week (salesman). I couldn't stop laughing at him for being so helpless. My mom raised three boys and what we didn't learn from her we did at military boot camp. /she famously announced to our new wives during our separate wedding receptions that we were "fully trained for household duties, don't let him slack". You can bet there's not been any cutup food in our lives, quite the opposite, we're a fearless bunch - thanks mom.

gwensandau avatar
Gwen Sandau
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How much would we have loved hangers in boot camp instead of seabag shake outs and perfectly folded underwear?

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god_2 avatar
Vix Spiderthrust
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Personally I think there's a solid evolutionary reason for manflu. Picture the scene: it's 50,000 years ago. You're hunting a woolly mammoth through the frozen tundra of Doggerland. With you is Thag, who has a bit of a head cold but has manfully agreed to hunt regardless. You sneak up close to the mammoth. You're winding up for the fatal spear throw. This much meat could feed the tribe for a week! Suddenly, Thag sneezes. The mammoth's ears prick up. Before you can react, Thag's got a tusk through his eye and the mammoth has stepped on your pelvis so hard that your kidneys have come out your nose. Meanwhile Ug, who is pleading hay fever even though the world is frozen solid, is tucked up safe in bed with some leopard broth. Easy win for the whiner.

tamrastiffler avatar
Tamra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Five days in bed for a cold? Holy s**t. I mean, if it's the flu, I could understand that level of bed rest, but a cold? Nah hon, get your a*s out of bed, do your own damn googling, make yourself some soup, and stop being a damn baby.

carolyngerbrands avatar
nitka711 avatar
Nitka Tsar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It‘s funny. Even normal men, who are capable, help, are grown adults etc pp can act like Babys when they are sick. As a wife and Mother with a capable husband who acts as if he will die when he has a cold, I can tell you that it is not about not wanting to help him or being annoyed that he is sick at all. It‘s more about the fact, that most of the time, when a Mother is sick, she still gets up, makes food for the kids, plays with them, gets them to and from school / kindergarden / preschool etc pp. (Because she has no other choice if hubby is working full time). And mostly she does not even complain. But when dear husband is sick, stays in bed for x days without doing nothing, while complaining and wanting attention, then pardon me, but I WILL get mad at him after a while!

ceciliamatthews avatar
Cecilia Matthews
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he wants her to treat him like her baby when he is ill, what makes him think she will want to have sex with her ‘baby’ when he gets well?

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lismarie avatar
Undercover
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the man-flu has a lot to do with motherly behaviour. My theory is that daughters are often perceived as tougher and more able to fight for themselves by mothers. On the other hand moms tend to worry much more about the survival of their poor sons. At least that's what I witnessed. I had a male friend where mom drove 2 hours just to occasionally clean his tiny dorm room (and drove 2 hours back afterwards). At university a lot of male friends went home every weekend and returned with precooked meals, snacks and cleaned laundry that would cover all their needs during the whole week. Never saw that kind of babycare with girls / women. To be clear, these are just my personal observations coming from a rural area.

morganville41 avatar
Marie Craig
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"his mom has literally tried to cut his food up for him in a restaurant before" what.the.f*****g.f**k!!!! I wish mother's like his would realize the unattractive wet dish rag of a human being they are foisting on their future daughter in law and the world in general once their "little prince" is a grown a*s man.grrrrr.

johng_3 avatar
John G
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are helicopter parents and then there is his mom. When I'm sick I just want to be left alone.

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micheldurinx avatar
Marcellus II
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you have the energy to get angry, you had the energy to slice your toast. Why would anybody put up with that? Just ask to repeat to be sure what was asked, and say "no" with an optional shrug.

hornedape avatar
Yargarble
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ANY grown man under ANY circumstances short of recently losing a hand that wants his food cut up for him clearly has serious Mommy issues.

perdyr2167 avatar
Somebodys grandmother
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can understand the need for help when you have a migraine. It splits your head. The pain screams and moving is as painful that headbanging against the wall is better... you need help there! Otherwise... you can do it yourself man!

georgiebrowngrrl avatar
Georgina Brown
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the OPs hubby is well enough to actually eat, he's not that ill. A really intense migraine usually means the thought of food is too much, nevermind having something noisy adding to the pain in your head. This guy's all about seeing how much he can sucker his wife into doing so she can time & again "prove" how much she live him. How parhe

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cordeliamoss avatar
ThreeAngryLlamas
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am chronically ill, physically disabled, in chronic pain, and I have chronic migraines to the degree that I vomit regularly from the pain. If I need something over the top, I order it. I don't make my girlfriend cut up my food for me. And we don't even have kids. This is pathetic. So many men turn into such obnoxious partners when they are sick. Lesbianism for the win.

georgiebrowngrrl avatar
Georgina Brown
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LOL Thanks for your dark humor! Feel for you as a fellow chronic migraine sufferer. But good for you being a reasonable adult. Sad to see others using their illnesses as challenges to their partners patience!

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arabiataarabiata avatar
Arabiata Arabiata
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Our fathers fought in wars, survived death camps and this oversized infant throws a tantrum when he gets cold. This is a shame, he's not an adult.

alixpitcher avatar
Powerful Katrinka
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My father flew B-17s (the Flying Fortress) on bomber missions over Germany. Many of his buddies didn't make it. He was also a professional rodeo rider who often competed with broken bones. He was also the BIGGEST baby when he caught a cold. All he could do is lie in bed, scattering Kleenex everywhere, and demanding a special "invalid's diet." My mother must have had the patience of a saint.

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confetti_gal avatar
Ellen Midgley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had COVID so bad I should've been in hospital (hospitals were full so they wouldn't admit me 🙃). I literally got short of breath walking to the toilet that was next to my room. I still went downstairs to the kitchen to make food (when I could actually eat). I was on an insane amount of meds, still in pain and out of breath, and I STILL made my own bloody food. Dude's a baby; he deserves to be treated like one.

laatikkonorsu avatar
Temoni
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Setting aside migraines (because thode can render you totally helpless beyond pain and discomfort), what a whiner. I suffer from constant pain and other difficulties and even a common cold makes my joints and muscles aching so bad sometimes that doing even the most basic taskas are beyond me. It just hurts so much. But getting your food cut up? No way. And his mom (at least tied to?) does that? He is f****d badly in his head. I came here basically waiting for a basic b***h ranting about "manflu", but you are 100% right with the baby-cutlery and plate. Maybe he got the hint. Every one feels sympyoms differently, some can run marathons while being extremely sick and some are totally bedridden from a little cold. We sre individuals. But asking to cut your food up? Googling for you? What a useless d******d.

lisaelliott_3 avatar
Parriah
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay seriously, what would this guy do if you WEREN'T there? He would do s**t for himself (or maybe call him mom to stay over) but most men who act like this didn't when they were single or had male roommates. We all had a flu and I was literally vomiting into the sink while holding a sick toddler upright on the toilet and had a 3 month old baby on my breast while heaving. My partner (now ex) was calling me pathetically to come back with gatorade from the bed he hadn't left in like 24 hours except to pee,wouldn't even get up to vomit but had me hold bowl for him because he was "just too weak" When I was doing better a couple days later and trying to car for two still unwell babies he would fuss and snivel that I didn't stay in room with him for company and I didn't understand how HARD it was on him being stuck upstairs so long because obviously I wasn't anywhere near as ill as poor unloved him...even after the split he won't take kids if they are sick and he won't take them if he's sic

sharongersowsky avatar
Sharon Gersowsky
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Glad to hear he's an ex. I would probably have thrown his useless self out of the house and changed the locks

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hamletstwin avatar
Hamlets twin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To the period comment. I mean yeah, you get stabbing pains in your gut and then you basically start peeing blood. What are you supposed to think if you don't know better? I feel bad for all those girls without sex education on their 1st period. How could you not think you're dying? This guy is an a*s. Ever since I was 12 no one has taken care of me when I was sick. I'll even make my own soup as all those canned ones are horrible. If I can't do that, then to the hospital I go.

kinsey avatar
BeepBeepBoopBoop
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

lol I started my period a little bit earlier than most people. 4th grade. Dude I was still in elementary school! But I had no idea what was going on. At first my period was really light so just a little bit of blood in my underwear, so I hid it. Thought I was dying and my best option was to not stress out my mom with more doctors appointments. Little did I know that I forgot she did my laundry lol

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rhiacorvalis avatar
Abbelius
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How sick was he, exactly, to complain about the kind of bowl/utensils he was using to eat? Imagine being hungry for a few hours, but complaining when someone that's been starving for days gives you their only piece of food, because it's not your favorite thing to eat. Unless you're allergic to the food, or whatever the bowl or utensils are made out of, then what's the issue?

jamieevans avatar
Jamie Evans
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Def NTA... How we "behave" or who we "become" while we're sick should be a topic of discussion before a couple gets that far into a relationship... JMO

stayoffmylawn_1 avatar
Stay Off My Lawn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I’m more independent while recovering from surgery than a man with the sniffles. MaN fLu 🙄

sunnyday0801 avatar
Sunny Day
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm still trying to figure out why he's been in bed for 5 days for a cold? Even when miserable with the flu, I get up, shower, change clothes, and settle in on the couch. And maybe that's what OP's husband needs to do? Get up and get moving.

rhiacorvalis avatar
Abbelius
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband doesn't let me get out of bed when I'm sick, bless his heart. But I think you have a point, if one opts to stew in their sick, it could just kind of emphasize whatever symptoms you're already feeling.

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fayealroy avatar
Faye Alroy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. If he does it again, call his bluff and tell him you're taking him to the hospital. The frequent sicknesses he has also makes me think he is jealous of the babies, and misses the attention she gave him before the kids arrived.

heatherruiz_1 avatar
Heather Ruiz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank the gods I thought I was the only one who goes through this c**p !! My hubby is exactly the same way whenever he's sick even if it's just a bad allergy attack he has many seasonal and pet allergies he takes daily medicine for but when it's a bad attack or he's sick in any way he becomes a baby instantly he has to stay in bed and sleep all day be waited on and babied when we already have 3 kids one only 1 yrs old ..I call him my 4th child when he's sick ... I also rarely get sick but after having emergency c section and tubal legation with my last pregnancy I still didn't stay in bed asking to be taken care of. Men are just weaker.period

ingamingpc avatar
InGaming pc
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sure and then you realize they do all the physical work Men are physically stronger deal with it women are emotionally stronger and better equipped to deal with stressful situations than men are

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sharongersowsky avatar
Sharon Gersowsky
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely NTA. And kudos for using the baby dish. Way to go girl! Lol

marilynrussell avatar
Marilyn Russell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband is a big baby when he gets sick and doesn’t often return the “favours” either when I’m sick. But that guy takes it to a new level. Why’s he in bed for a cold? Maybe it was the flu.

ladymortdujoie avatar
N D
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I can't understand is why she hasn't taken the kids and left. Behavior like this can be forgiven but she needs to cut ties.

achaiadust avatar
Liam Lowenthal
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a man child lol I don't know if it's because women go through pain their entire lives or what but yeah, men do act like big babies sometimes. Don't be mad guys, all jokes/memes are based on some truth. And men being babies when they're sick is a joke/meme. A very old one. Lol

hopetirendi avatar
Hope Tirendi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would put on my plastic Crock shoe and plant it firmly in his a*s!

tabithapaquette98 avatar
tabithapaquette98
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's because this is how his mom treated him when he lived with her. She babied him. It's time for him to grow up.

cancel avatar
Ken Sell
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, but it wasn't received as humorous. It was more passive-aggressive and petty. It would have been so much more "adult" of you to simply tell him No. Tell HIM how much you think he's the perfect fiance, and that you love him, but there are babies in the house you are caring for, and he will not be one of them.

batphace avatar
BatPhace
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"just wanted some extra special effort" ffs 🙄🙄🙄

dodsonmichelle avatar
Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is one of the nicest things about being married to an actual grown-up. My husband wouldn't dream of pulling this c**p on me. He's like me, in that when I don't feel well, please just leave me alone. We don't need pillows fluffed, etc. I'll stick my head in the door every few hours, "Need anything?" He usually says no - and he wouldn't dream of eating in bed, even on a tray. He showers and puts on clean sweats and lays ON TOP of the bed. You know - LIKE A GROWN A$$ MAN?

dawnieangel76 avatar
Dawnieangel76
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand every person reacts to physical illness differently, but I really get pissed at my sister...we live together, long story...takes days off for her period. I had 2 periods a month for almost 20 years (no gyne was ever able to figure out why), heavy & painful, and still went to work!

ericahollowell_1 avatar
Erica Hollowell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Im sorry but you said "he texted you he needed help" but cudnt google his own sympthoms??? That don't add up. Seems to me like he just want all the attention..or he's faking it

tiffanysparks avatar
Tiffany R
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a kidney infection, fever spiking to 105, didn't want to go back to the Dr or ER, so I regularly ice packed myself and went in to do my overnight shift(it was Easter and didn't want anyone to be bothered. COVID was a secondary headache, but stayed home and took it rest time. Hip surgery,left side, where the bone was sawed... Made sure I could drive and my husband left a week after having surgery(work trip) for me to take myself to and from school and sit on my reconstructed hip on hard seats for like 6 hours a day. Like... I wouldn't put up with a man-flu baby.

luccawenner avatar
Lucca Wenner
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am the biggest baby when sick, but unless we are having steak and I am about to pass out so exhausted, I am not going to ask this! I did ask this when recovering from a stomach bug that left me malnutritious.We went out to eat to get the food the doc ordered me to eat (one of the few times I ever ordered steak). I could barely set upright in the chair until after I ate. I thanked hubby profusely for cutting it up. He tells me no when I am just being whiney and we laugh about it.

arandomanvil avatar
A Random Anvil
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My stepfather like that. Viking Warrior until he gets sick, then BAM! Scared little kitten mode activated. Mom and I joke about it all the time. When his mom was alive, she'd call mom and tell her what she needed to do. Overstepping, but absolutely hilarious. Not sure if YTA, NTA or ESH. Some people can't handle being ill.

bluegenes avatar
blue genes
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just had an emergency c-section and, within a *few hours*, i was taking care of a newborn. Now, my bf and i are aware that that was less than ideal, but we didn't choose the hospital, and the hospital doesn't (!) have a nursery. We were three days without sleep before we all but snapped and demanded the nurses take the baby so we could rest for an uninterrupted hour each. My bf didn't help matters by opining on my apparent resemblance to our newborn when i cried during every fundal massage. But that's okay. I'll have my revenge when i figure out what part of his anatomy corresponds most closely; i'll probably then squeeze it in a vice while asking him how bad it can possibly hurt. Oh, and fellas? Don't follow up such a sterling observation by wondering how your lady handled her previous "nAtuRaL" delivery. Her aim is probably just fine and you'll be wearing the caferteria rice pudding she would've otherwise shared in a much more friendly fashion.

jamesferrell avatar
JAMES FERRELL
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really, you have to ask? Like you've never heard "If the shoe fits"?

bonny04346 avatar
Bonny Saxon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband wants me to bring him medicine. Then a few crackers. Then fix the blankets. Then fill his water glass. Not all at once, mind you. You do one thing, he thinks of something else to be done. But you ask him? He just wants to be left alone. I had pneumonia and my baby daughter had double ear infections and he still left us to go camping with his buddies.

jsmith_6 avatar
J Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

lol, I thought I (38m) I was a wimp when I have a cold. I have nothing on this guy.

jomallj avatar
j omallj
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You gotcha self a big baby man for a fiance! Don't bother having any kids with this jerk - because you already have one!! Hire him an in home care-giver and charge it to his credit card - also - buy him a box of man sized depends!!

mindyhaun6 avatar
Mindy Haun
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not the a*****e. Petty, definitely but in a funny way. I do get wanting to be cared for when he's sick but he's being ridiculous and taking it too far. Way too far. Especially when she still takes care of the household and the kids when she's sick, like her bout with sepsis.

matthewwalton avatar
Matthew Walton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think her response was more than a tad passive aggressive, but not unjustified. I'm a bachelor and recently had Covid and all I asked anyone to do for me was get my groceries because obviously I couldn't go out.

moss66ron avatar
Ron
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I am truly sick...I have no desire for food. Soup at best, hunger is the first sign I am getting better .I think everyone can understand the desire for coddling when sick and I think natural however not logical for grown adults. You mentioned discussing this more than once and the response was valid. I would have the conversation again once he is better and stipulate any extra effort requests will be ignored when he is sick again. In fact if he continues yet again the only response will be a trip to the doctor. Extra effort is not determined by anyone other than that person who decides. Its ok he wants it, not ok to try to force it or coerce it. It might be helpful to him to talk about it to, as to why he continues it. If he can figure out what drives him to continue he might be able to do better the next time. Neither are AH.

pauljellema avatar
Poeha
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Annoying. I do think it's cute to cut my elderly dad's food in kids pieces. He's so grateful when you do that. Else he can't eat it.

fffab74 avatar
fffab74
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You have to take my problems seriously, it might not look like much to you, but it's a problem for me"...... oh wait, that's only when YOU have an issue.

danielsmomsheila avatar
MurderMittens
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people like to be babied when they are sick. Some like to be left alone. She's TA for being mean to a sick man. What if she's the kind who likes to be left alone when she's sick, but he tried to baby her. She'd still be pissed. Remember the golden rule. Do unto others as you would want others to do unto you. If you treat someone the way you yourself would want to be treated, but your spouse has a different need, then there can be friction. We need to figure out what they want/need and provide it, even if it means we aren't doing what we want.

charleswilliams_3 avatar
Charles Williams
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait a minute. Do you enjoy spending his paycheck? If yes, then deal with it. Remember, you chose him and stay with him. You know good and well that this isn't something new. It was fine during the honeymoon phase of the relationship but it's not fine now. But, I bet you're still spending his money, just like during the honeymoon phase. I bet you have quirks that he puts up with too. The difference is that, as a man, he doesn't call you out for them or try to embarrass you.

ritarose avatar
Rita Rose
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really!? You came on BP to post about how you gave your husband dinner in a kids dish!!!!! Someone call the cops!!!!

larat avatar
Lara T Rex
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A jerk move that was. You don’t know how bad someone else is actually feeling, for example a headache and muscle pain can be bad even if it’s just a cold. I was in the hospital for an operation. After the operation I had a (very unexpected) sepsis and I had barely any pain at all. I did feel tired, but after I got my treatment I was pretty fine. For me, migraines feel much worse than the sepsis did (even tho the sepsis if of course dangerous while migraines are not).

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Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I say a little bit of both. NTA because of reasons mentioned by others. YTA because OP said that he promises to be better about it the next time he's sick, but he continues to have the same behavior. If she's catering to him each time, I feel like she's enabling him. That's just my take on the matter.

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Abbelius
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fair take. My grandmother raised me when I was little but babied my father, her firstborn, well into adulthood (and still defends his childish behavior to this day, on her "good days"). I love grandma to bits, but it's a tad infuriating. I speak from personal experience, but I hope OP doesn't enable him. Enabling that kind of entitled behavior can lead to some toxic, or potentially abusive behavior. Or just an adult, cringey whiny brat...

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Mariko Fujita
Community Member
1 year ago

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Fiction is fun but sometimes people want to make the craziest story they can and it gets so out of touch that it reads like a 3 year old's day at school... "We got on the bus, and then we saw a rocket and we went to the moon! Then we-" that's how this feels.

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Just some random chick
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think this sounds embellished at all. I have 3 younger brothers (ages 32, 38 & 42) and every single one of them acts like a little bit**h when they get sick. I've heard of plenty of grown men acting like babies and wanting to be mommied because *they don't feel good* 😭

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Superninjatiger
Community Member
1 year ago

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While cutting someones food and having someone else google your symptoms is a bit extreme, many studies actually suggest and proves that men do in fact get sicker and is sick longer than women. People should start read about these studies that shows difference between men and women and not just brush it off as "men are whiny babies" - some might over exaggerate their symptoms but far from everyone.

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michael piscopo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That reminds me of the time I was at a friends house to watch a Sunday football game. He was visibly upset that his wife had washed but not folded/hung his clothes for the week (salesman). I couldn't stop laughing at him for being so helpless. My mom raised three boys and what we didn't learn from her we did at military boot camp. /she famously announced to our new wives during our separate wedding receptions that we were "fully trained for household duties, don't let him slack". You can bet there's not been any cutup food in our lives, quite the opposite, we're a fearless bunch - thanks mom.

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Gwen Sandau
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How much would we have loved hangers in boot camp instead of seabag shake outs and perfectly folded underwear?

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Vix Spiderthrust
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Personally I think there's a solid evolutionary reason for manflu. Picture the scene: it's 50,000 years ago. You're hunting a woolly mammoth through the frozen tundra of Doggerland. With you is Thag, who has a bit of a head cold but has manfully agreed to hunt regardless. You sneak up close to the mammoth. You're winding up for the fatal spear throw. This much meat could feed the tribe for a week! Suddenly, Thag sneezes. The mammoth's ears prick up. Before you can react, Thag's got a tusk through his eye and the mammoth has stepped on your pelvis so hard that your kidneys have come out your nose. Meanwhile Ug, who is pleading hay fever even though the world is frozen solid, is tucked up safe in bed with some leopard broth. Easy win for the whiner.

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Tamra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Five days in bed for a cold? Holy s**t. I mean, if it's the flu, I could understand that level of bed rest, but a cold? Nah hon, get your a*s out of bed, do your own damn googling, make yourself some soup, and stop being a damn baby.

carolyngerbrands avatar
nitka711 avatar
Nitka Tsar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It‘s funny. Even normal men, who are capable, help, are grown adults etc pp can act like Babys when they are sick. As a wife and Mother with a capable husband who acts as if he will die when he has a cold, I can tell you that it is not about not wanting to help him or being annoyed that he is sick at all. It‘s more about the fact, that most of the time, when a Mother is sick, she still gets up, makes food for the kids, plays with them, gets them to and from school / kindergarden / preschool etc pp. (Because she has no other choice if hubby is working full time). And mostly she does not even complain. But when dear husband is sick, stays in bed for x days without doing nothing, while complaining and wanting attention, then pardon me, but I WILL get mad at him after a while!

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Cecilia Matthews
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he wants her to treat him like her baby when he is ill, what makes him think she will want to have sex with her ‘baby’ when he gets well?

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Undercover
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the man-flu has a lot to do with motherly behaviour. My theory is that daughters are often perceived as tougher and more able to fight for themselves by mothers. On the other hand moms tend to worry much more about the survival of their poor sons. At least that's what I witnessed. I had a male friend where mom drove 2 hours just to occasionally clean his tiny dorm room (and drove 2 hours back afterwards). At university a lot of male friends went home every weekend and returned with precooked meals, snacks and cleaned laundry that would cover all their needs during the whole week. Never saw that kind of babycare with girls / women. To be clear, these are just my personal observations coming from a rural area.

morganville41 avatar
Marie Craig
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"his mom has literally tried to cut his food up for him in a restaurant before" what.the.f*****g.f**k!!!! I wish mother's like his would realize the unattractive wet dish rag of a human being they are foisting on their future daughter in law and the world in general once their "little prince" is a grown a*s man.grrrrr.

johng_3 avatar
John G
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are helicopter parents and then there is his mom. When I'm sick I just want to be left alone.

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Marcellus II
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you have the energy to get angry, you had the energy to slice your toast. Why would anybody put up with that? Just ask to repeat to be sure what was asked, and say "no" with an optional shrug.

hornedape avatar
Yargarble
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ANY grown man under ANY circumstances short of recently losing a hand that wants his food cut up for him clearly has serious Mommy issues.

perdyr2167 avatar
Somebodys grandmother
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can understand the need for help when you have a migraine. It splits your head. The pain screams and moving is as painful that headbanging against the wall is better... you need help there! Otherwise... you can do it yourself man!

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Georgina Brown
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the OPs hubby is well enough to actually eat, he's not that ill. A really intense migraine usually means the thought of food is too much, nevermind having something noisy adding to the pain in your head. This guy's all about seeing how much he can sucker his wife into doing so she can time & again "prove" how much she live him. How parhe

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ThreeAngryLlamas
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am chronically ill, physically disabled, in chronic pain, and I have chronic migraines to the degree that I vomit regularly from the pain. If I need something over the top, I order it. I don't make my girlfriend cut up my food for me. And we don't even have kids. This is pathetic. So many men turn into such obnoxious partners when they are sick. Lesbianism for the win.

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Georgina Brown
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LOL Thanks for your dark humor! Feel for you as a fellow chronic migraine sufferer. But good for you being a reasonable adult. Sad to see others using their illnesses as challenges to their partners patience!

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Arabiata Arabiata
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Our fathers fought in wars, survived death camps and this oversized infant throws a tantrum when he gets cold. This is a shame, he's not an adult.

alixpitcher avatar
Powerful Katrinka
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My father flew B-17s (the Flying Fortress) on bomber missions over Germany. Many of his buddies didn't make it. He was also a professional rodeo rider who often competed with broken bones. He was also the BIGGEST baby when he caught a cold. All he could do is lie in bed, scattering Kleenex everywhere, and demanding a special "invalid's diet." My mother must have had the patience of a saint.

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Ellen Midgley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had COVID so bad I should've been in hospital (hospitals were full so they wouldn't admit me 🙃). I literally got short of breath walking to the toilet that was next to my room. I still went downstairs to the kitchen to make food (when I could actually eat). I was on an insane amount of meds, still in pain and out of breath, and I STILL made my own bloody food. Dude's a baby; he deserves to be treated like one.

laatikkonorsu avatar
Temoni
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Setting aside migraines (because thode can render you totally helpless beyond pain and discomfort), what a whiner. I suffer from constant pain and other difficulties and even a common cold makes my joints and muscles aching so bad sometimes that doing even the most basic taskas are beyond me. It just hurts so much. But getting your food cut up? No way. And his mom (at least tied to?) does that? He is f****d badly in his head. I came here basically waiting for a basic b***h ranting about "manflu", but you are 100% right with the baby-cutlery and plate. Maybe he got the hint. Every one feels sympyoms differently, some can run marathons while being extremely sick and some are totally bedridden from a little cold. We sre individuals. But asking to cut your food up? Googling for you? What a useless d******d.

lisaelliott_3 avatar
Parriah
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay seriously, what would this guy do if you WEREN'T there? He would do s**t for himself (or maybe call him mom to stay over) but most men who act like this didn't when they were single or had male roommates. We all had a flu and I was literally vomiting into the sink while holding a sick toddler upright on the toilet and had a 3 month old baby on my breast while heaving. My partner (now ex) was calling me pathetically to come back with gatorade from the bed he hadn't left in like 24 hours except to pee,wouldn't even get up to vomit but had me hold bowl for him because he was "just too weak" When I was doing better a couple days later and trying to car for two still unwell babies he would fuss and snivel that I didn't stay in room with him for company and I didn't understand how HARD it was on him being stuck upstairs so long because obviously I wasn't anywhere near as ill as poor unloved him...even after the split he won't take kids if they are sick and he won't take them if he's sic

sharongersowsky avatar
Sharon Gersowsky
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Glad to hear he's an ex. I would probably have thrown his useless self out of the house and changed the locks

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Hamlets twin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To the period comment. I mean yeah, you get stabbing pains in your gut and then you basically start peeing blood. What are you supposed to think if you don't know better? I feel bad for all those girls without sex education on their 1st period. How could you not think you're dying? This guy is an a*s. Ever since I was 12 no one has taken care of me when I was sick. I'll even make my own soup as all those canned ones are horrible. If I can't do that, then to the hospital I go.

kinsey avatar
BeepBeepBoopBoop
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

lol I started my period a little bit earlier than most people. 4th grade. Dude I was still in elementary school! But I had no idea what was going on. At first my period was really light so just a little bit of blood in my underwear, so I hid it. Thought I was dying and my best option was to not stress out my mom with more doctors appointments. Little did I know that I forgot she did my laundry lol

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Abbelius
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How sick was he, exactly, to complain about the kind of bowl/utensils he was using to eat? Imagine being hungry for a few hours, but complaining when someone that's been starving for days gives you their only piece of food, because it's not your favorite thing to eat. Unless you're allergic to the food, or whatever the bowl or utensils are made out of, then what's the issue?

jamieevans avatar
Jamie Evans
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Def NTA... How we "behave" or who we "become" while we're sick should be a topic of discussion before a couple gets that far into a relationship... JMO

stayoffmylawn_1 avatar
Stay Off My Lawn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I’m more independent while recovering from surgery than a man with the sniffles. MaN fLu 🙄

sunnyday0801 avatar
Sunny Day
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm still trying to figure out why he's been in bed for 5 days for a cold? Even when miserable with the flu, I get up, shower, change clothes, and settle in on the couch. And maybe that's what OP's husband needs to do? Get up and get moving.

rhiacorvalis avatar
Abbelius
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband doesn't let me get out of bed when I'm sick, bless his heart. But I think you have a point, if one opts to stew in their sick, it could just kind of emphasize whatever symptoms you're already feeling.

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Faye Alroy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. If he does it again, call his bluff and tell him you're taking him to the hospital. The frequent sicknesses he has also makes me think he is jealous of the babies, and misses the attention she gave him before the kids arrived.

heatherruiz_1 avatar
Heather Ruiz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank the gods I thought I was the only one who goes through this c**p !! My hubby is exactly the same way whenever he's sick even if it's just a bad allergy attack he has many seasonal and pet allergies he takes daily medicine for but when it's a bad attack or he's sick in any way he becomes a baby instantly he has to stay in bed and sleep all day be waited on and babied when we already have 3 kids one only 1 yrs old ..I call him my 4th child when he's sick ... I also rarely get sick but after having emergency c section and tubal legation with my last pregnancy I still didn't stay in bed asking to be taken care of. Men are just weaker.period

ingamingpc avatar
InGaming pc
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sure and then you realize they do all the physical work Men are physically stronger deal with it women are emotionally stronger and better equipped to deal with stressful situations than men are

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Sharon Gersowsky
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely NTA. And kudos for using the baby dish. Way to go girl! Lol

marilynrussell avatar
Marilyn Russell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband is a big baby when he gets sick and doesn’t often return the “favours” either when I’m sick. But that guy takes it to a new level. Why’s he in bed for a cold? Maybe it was the flu.

ladymortdujoie avatar
N D
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I can't understand is why she hasn't taken the kids and left. Behavior like this can be forgiven but she needs to cut ties.

achaiadust avatar
Liam Lowenthal
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a man child lol I don't know if it's because women go through pain their entire lives or what but yeah, men do act like big babies sometimes. Don't be mad guys, all jokes/memes are based on some truth. And men being babies when they're sick is a joke/meme. A very old one. Lol

hopetirendi avatar
Hope Tirendi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would put on my plastic Crock shoe and plant it firmly in his a*s!

tabithapaquette98 avatar
tabithapaquette98
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's because this is how his mom treated him when he lived with her. She babied him. It's time for him to grow up.

cancel avatar
Ken Sell
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, but it wasn't received as humorous. It was more passive-aggressive and petty. It would have been so much more "adult" of you to simply tell him No. Tell HIM how much you think he's the perfect fiance, and that you love him, but there are babies in the house you are caring for, and he will not be one of them.

batphace avatar
BatPhace
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"just wanted some extra special effort" ffs 🙄🙄🙄

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Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is one of the nicest things about being married to an actual grown-up. My husband wouldn't dream of pulling this c**p on me. He's like me, in that when I don't feel well, please just leave me alone. We don't need pillows fluffed, etc. I'll stick my head in the door every few hours, "Need anything?" He usually says no - and he wouldn't dream of eating in bed, even on a tray. He showers and puts on clean sweats and lays ON TOP of the bed. You know - LIKE A GROWN A$$ MAN?

dawnieangel76 avatar
Dawnieangel76
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand every person reacts to physical illness differently, but I really get pissed at my sister...we live together, long story...takes days off for her period. I had 2 periods a month for almost 20 years (no gyne was ever able to figure out why), heavy & painful, and still went to work!

ericahollowell_1 avatar
Erica Hollowell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Im sorry but you said "he texted you he needed help" but cudnt google his own sympthoms??? That don't add up. Seems to me like he just want all the attention..or he's faking it

tiffanysparks avatar
Tiffany R
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a kidney infection, fever spiking to 105, didn't want to go back to the Dr or ER, so I regularly ice packed myself and went in to do my overnight shift(it was Easter and didn't want anyone to be bothered. COVID was a secondary headache, but stayed home and took it rest time. Hip surgery,left side, where the bone was sawed... Made sure I could drive and my husband left a week after having surgery(work trip) for me to take myself to and from school and sit on my reconstructed hip on hard seats for like 6 hours a day. Like... I wouldn't put up with a man-flu baby.

luccawenner avatar
Lucca Wenner
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am the biggest baby when sick, but unless we are having steak and I am about to pass out so exhausted, I am not going to ask this! I did ask this when recovering from a stomach bug that left me malnutritious.We went out to eat to get the food the doc ordered me to eat (one of the few times I ever ordered steak). I could barely set upright in the chair until after I ate. I thanked hubby profusely for cutting it up. He tells me no when I am just being whiney and we laugh about it.

arandomanvil avatar
A Random Anvil
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My stepfather like that. Viking Warrior until he gets sick, then BAM! Scared little kitten mode activated. Mom and I joke about it all the time. When his mom was alive, she'd call mom and tell her what she needed to do. Overstepping, but absolutely hilarious. Not sure if YTA, NTA or ESH. Some people can't handle being ill.

bluegenes avatar
blue genes
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just had an emergency c-section and, within a *few hours*, i was taking care of a newborn. Now, my bf and i are aware that that was less than ideal, but we didn't choose the hospital, and the hospital doesn't (!) have a nursery. We were three days without sleep before we all but snapped and demanded the nurses take the baby so we could rest for an uninterrupted hour each. My bf didn't help matters by opining on my apparent resemblance to our newborn when i cried during every fundal massage. But that's okay. I'll have my revenge when i figure out what part of his anatomy corresponds most closely; i'll probably then squeeze it in a vice while asking him how bad it can possibly hurt. Oh, and fellas? Don't follow up such a sterling observation by wondering how your lady handled her previous "nAtuRaL" delivery. Her aim is probably just fine and you'll be wearing the caferteria rice pudding she would've otherwise shared in a much more friendly fashion.

jamesferrell avatar
JAMES FERRELL
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really, you have to ask? Like you've never heard "If the shoe fits"?

bonny04346 avatar
Bonny Saxon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband wants me to bring him medicine. Then a few crackers. Then fix the blankets. Then fill his water glass. Not all at once, mind you. You do one thing, he thinks of something else to be done. But you ask him? He just wants to be left alone. I had pneumonia and my baby daughter had double ear infections and he still left us to go camping with his buddies.

jsmith_6 avatar
J Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

lol, I thought I (38m) I was a wimp when I have a cold. I have nothing on this guy.

jomallj avatar
j omallj
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You gotcha self a big baby man for a fiance! Don't bother having any kids with this jerk - because you already have one!! Hire him an in home care-giver and charge it to his credit card - also - buy him a box of man sized depends!!

mindyhaun6 avatar
Mindy Haun
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not the a*****e. Petty, definitely but in a funny way. I do get wanting to be cared for when he's sick but he's being ridiculous and taking it too far. Way too far. Especially when she still takes care of the household and the kids when she's sick, like her bout with sepsis.

matthewwalton avatar
Matthew Walton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think her response was more than a tad passive aggressive, but not unjustified. I'm a bachelor and recently had Covid and all I asked anyone to do for me was get my groceries because obviously I couldn't go out.

moss66ron avatar
Ron
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I am truly sick...I have no desire for food. Soup at best, hunger is the first sign I am getting better .I think everyone can understand the desire for coddling when sick and I think natural however not logical for grown adults. You mentioned discussing this more than once and the response was valid. I would have the conversation again once he is better and stipulate any extra effort requests will be ignored when he is sick again. In fact if he continues yet again the only response will be a trip to the doctor. Extra effort is not determined by anyone other than that person who decides. Its ok he wants it, not ok to try to force it or coerce it. It might be helpful to him to talk about it to, as to why he continues it. If he can figure out what drives him to continue he might be able to do better the next time. Neither are AH.

pauljellema avatar
Poeha
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Annoying. I do think it's cute to cut my elderly dad's food in kids pieces. He's so grateful when you do that. Else he can't eat it.

fffab74 avatar
fffab74
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You have to take my problems seriously, it might not look like much to you, but it's a problem for me"...... oh wait, that's only when YOU have an issue.

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MurderMittens
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people like to be babied when they are sick. Some like to be left alone. She's TA for being mean to a sick man. What if she's the kind who likes to be left alone when she's sick, but he tried to baby her. She'd still be pissed. Remember the golden rule. Do unto others as you would want others to do unto you. If you treat someone the way you yourself would want to be treated, but your spouse has a different need, then there can be friction. We need to figure out what they want/need and provide it, even if it means we aren't doing what we want.

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Charles Williams
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait a minute. Do you enjoy spending his paycheck? If yes, then deal with it. Remember, you chose him and stay with him. You know good and well that this isn't something new. It was fine during the honeymoon phase of the relationship but it's not fine now. But, I bet you're still spending his money, just like during the honeymoon phase. I bet you have quirks that he puts up with too. The difference is that, as a man, he doesn't call you out for them or try to embarrass you.

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Rita Rose
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really!? You came on BP to post about how you gave your husband dinner in a kids dish!!!!! Someone call the cops!!!!

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Lara T Rex
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A jerk move that was. You don’t know how bad someone else is actually feeling, for example a headache and muscle pain can be bad even if it’s just a cold. I was in the hospital for an operation. After the operation I had a (very unexpected) sepsis and I had barely any pain at all. I did feel tired, but after I got my treatment I was pretty fine. For me, migraines feel much worse than the sepsis did (even tho the sepsis if of course dangerous while migraines are not).

eileenkeller94 avatar
Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I say a little bit of both. NTA because of reasons mentioned by others. YTA because OP said that he promises to be better about it the next time he's sick, but he continues to have the same behavior. If she's catering to him each time, I feel like she's enabling him. That's just my take on the matter.

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Abbelius
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fair take. My grandmother raised me when I was little but babied my father, her firstborn, well into adulthood (and still defends his childish behavior to this day, on her "good days"). I love grandma to bits, but it's a tad infuriating. I speak from personal experience, but I hope OP doesn't enable him. Enabling that kind of entitled behavior can lead to some toxic, or potentially abusive behavior. Or just an adult, cringey whiny brat...

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Mariko Fujita
Community Member
1 year ago

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Fiction is fun but sometimes people want to make the craziest story they can and it gets so out of touch that it reads like a 3 year old's day at school... "We got on the bus, and then we saw a rocket and we went to the moon! Then we-" that's how this feels.

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Just some random chick
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think this sounds embellished at all. I have 3 younger brothers (ages 32, 38 & 42) and every single one of them acts like a little bit**h when they get sick. I've heard of plenty of grown men acting like babies and wanting to be mommied because *they don't feel good* 😭

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Superninjatiger
Community Member
1 year ago

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While cutting someones food and having someone else google your symptoms is a bit extreme, many studies actually suggest and proves that men do in fact get sicker and is sick longer than women. People should start read about these studies that shows difference between men and women and not just brush it off as "men are whiny babies" - some might over exaggerate their symptoms but far from everyone.

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