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“I Can’t Imagine Being So Entitled”: Morning Coffee Drives A Wedge Between MIL And DIL
Layered morning coffee in a glass mug with foam and cocoa powder, next to a newspaper on a wooden table.

Woman Orders Coffee At MIL’s Like She’s In Starbucks, Gets A Reality Check

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If seasonal depression has your eyelids feeling heavier with each day, coffee is probably your best friend. And you’re not in bad company: two-thirds (66%) of Americans drink coffee every day, with one person consuming three cups on average per day.

Everyone has a personal coffee order, but should we demand that our family members make us fancy concoctions? This daughter-in-law might’ve just made that mistake when she misunderstood her MIL’s offer to make her coffee in the mornings and demanded a barista-level drink with foamed milk, syrups, and fancy coffee beans.

RELATED:

    An MIL got into a fight with her daughter-in-law over coffee

    Glass of morning coffee with foam and chocolate sprinkles on a wooden table next to a newspaper and spoon

    Image credits: Getty Images / unpslash (not the actual photo)

    The MIL offered to make her a cup, but received a Starbucks-level order

    Text post about MIL offering to make morning coffee for DIL but ignoring instructions after fancy recipe demand.

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    Text excerpt describing a mother-in-law offering to make morning coffee for daughter-in-law despite ignored instructions and demands for a fancy recipe.

    Mother-in-law offering to make morning coffee for daughter-in-law, ignoring her fancy recipe instructions.

    Text excerpt about MIL offering to make morning coffee for DIL, ignoring specific coffee instructions after a fancy recipe demand.

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    MIL offers to make morning coffee for DIL but ignores detailed instructions after demand for fancy recipe.

    Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law arguing in kitchen over morning coffee preparation and recipe instructions.

    Image credits: macniak / envato (not the actual photo)

    MIL offers to make morning coffee for DIL but ignores instructions after she demands a fancy coffee recipe, causing tension.

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    Text conversation about making morning coffee and feeling conflicted about hospitality and instructions from daughter-in-law.

    Image credits: DiamondOwn8686

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    Most Americans go for lattes with two add-ons on average

    Making a cup of joe seems like it’s one of the easiest things to do in the world. After all, more than half of Americans do it every morning. However, as probably any barista would tell you, gone are the days when instant or steeped coffee was the rage.

    Coffee orders are getting more complex as orders like a Frappuccino with cold foam and 10 modifiers come in more and more. Yet, when we look at the most popular types of coffee that Americans like to drink, we might get a surprise.

    Data from millions of coffee purchases in the U.S. by the Specialty Coffee Association and Square showed that the most popular drink in America is the latte. What’s more, the average American adds two additional ingredients to their coffee order. It seems pretty simple, right?

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    People in other parts of the world like the latte as well, with it being the most popular coffee beverage in the UK, for example. Italians love espresso, Germans go for an Americano, and Australians prefer a flat white.

    Recently, in an effort to determine the most popular coffees by region, Coffeeness analyzed Google search data to find out which beverages people Google most often. They found that cappuccino is the most popular drink in the world, topping the list in 24 countries, including Spain, Kenya, France, Romania, Saudi Arabia, and the Netherlands.

    Perhaps surprisingly, espresso is the most searched drink in the U.S. Cappuccino and latte take second and third place, respectively, yet drinks like iced coffee, affogato, mocha, or macchiato aren’t in the popular ranks.

    Complicated coffee orders are a reflection of our times

    Image credits: Pramod Tiwari / unsplash (not the actual photo)

    So, the ultimate question is: are people’s coffee orders getting too complicated? Why can’t folks just drink a cup of good ol’ pour-over, especially when they’re at home? You might think of people whose coffee looks more like a milkshake as pretentious, but Starbucks and other coffee shops are only doing what they need to stay relevant.

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    As editor at Inc. and business editor at Time magazine Bill Saporito writes in an op-ed for The New York Times, almost all big food and beverage franchises do the opposite of less is more. Fast-food chains have almost infinite menus, with Pizza Hut, for example, offering flatbreads, brownies, mini rolls, and cookies. “Because you always want a Cinnabon after you’ve consumed three slices of pepperoni pizza,” Saporito quips.

    Starbucks boasts that it has more than 170,000 possible drink combinations. While outside reports estimate it to be more like 300 million, that’s still a heck of a lot. These numbers don’t help the employees, too: in 2021, workers complained to The Guardian that they felt like “coffee-making robots.”

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    “These orders are driving us insane because they’re so long, so specific and it requires you to do much more work than you should be doing for one single drink,” a shift supervisor at a New York Starbucks told The Guardian.

    Wait times are getting longer, employees report staff shortages, and customers often take out their frustrations by verbally attacking workers. Complex orders are a contributing factor, with people getting inspiration from TikTok trends and sharing “secret menu” drinks of their own recipes.

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    Making yourself a fancy coffee with five add-ons is no crime and can be a good form of self-care or a part of a coffee enthusiast’s hobby. But maybe let’s not make our poor mothers-in-law whip out three different syrups and a frother at 6 AM after she just came home from her night shift, shall we?

    “You’re hosts, not staff,” people in the comments sided with the MIL

    Comment on a social media post, discussing a mother-in-law offering to make morning coffee for daughter-in-law but ignoring her fancy recipe instructions.

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing MIL offering to make morning coffee for DIL but ignoring fancy recipe requests.

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    Screenshot of a Reddit comment about MIL offering to make morning coffee for DIL and ignoring fancy recipe instructions.

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    Commenter explaining the social contract for making coffee and criticizing the daughter-in-law's fancy recipe demand.

    Reddit comment discussing MIL offering to make morning coffee for DIL, ignoring instructions after fancy recipe demand.

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    Screenshot of a comment discussing making coffee, advising to keep routine and give coffee instructions to son for his wife.

    Comment on MIL offering to make morning coffee for DIL, ignoring instructions after fancy recipe demand shared in online forum.

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    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a mother-in-law offering to make morning coffee and ignoring recipe instructions.

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    Comment from user Expensive_Excuse_597 advising not to make morning coffee for MIL or DIL after ignoring instructions.

    Comment discussing MIL offering to make morning coffee for DIL but ignoring fancy recipe instructions and causing conflict.

    Comment from Reddit user discussing MIL offering to make morning coffee for DIL but ignoring instructions after fancy recipe demand.

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    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a MIL offering to make morning coffee for DIL and ignoring her recipe demands.

    Comment about MIL offering to make morning coffee for DIL but ignoring requests for a fancy coffee recipe.

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a mother-in-law offering to make morning coffee for daughter-in-law but ignoring her fancy recipe demand.

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    Screenshot of an online comment reacting to a MIL offering to make morning coffee for DIL and ignoring recipe instructions.

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    Reddit comment discussing MIL making morning coffee for DIL and ignoring fancy recipe instructions after demand.

    Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing MIL making morning coffee for DIL and ignoring fancy recipe instructions.

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    Comment about MIL offering to make morning coffee despite DIL demanding a fancy coffee recipe, highlighting family respect issues.

    Comment about MIL offering to make morning coffee for DIL but ignoring instructions after she demands fancy recipe.

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    Comment about MIL offering morning coffee for DIL but ignoring instructions after demand for fancy recipe.

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    Comment text about MIL offering to make morning coffee for DIL but ignoring instructions after demand for fancy recipe.

    Others thought both women were being unreasonable

    Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a mother-in-law making morning coffee for daughter-in-law despite recipe demands.

    Reddit comment discussing MIL offering to make morning coffee for DIL despite fancy recipe demands and ignoring instructions.

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    Comment discussing MIL offering to make morning coffee for DIL but ignoring instructions after fancy recipe demand.

    Comment discussing MIL offering to make morning coffee for DIL but ignoring instructions after fancy recipe demand.

    Comment on MIL offering to make morning coffee for DIL, ignoring instructions after fancy recipe demand, discussing family tension issues.

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    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

    Read less »
    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

    What do you think ?
    sturmwesen
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As someone who does her own fancy coffee: expecting more than milk and a common sweetener of choice is wacked. Even if they offered .edit: maybe stronger/weaker is another valid option

    Ace
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wasn't disappointed, the normal deranged YTAs are out in force. Insane, they are.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As well as 18% of Pandas who voted for anything other than “The DiL is out of her d****d mind for expecting ANYTHING other than a generic coffee, ESPECIALLY seeing MiL has just a coffee pot!” “Well, you ASKED what I wanted!” The ONLY proper response to that is “Gargle my balls!” If someone is providing you with free housing, you graciously accept the spaghetti she makes for dinner; you DON’T sneer and say you want salmon don buri and broiled hamachi kama! Jesus, the AUDACITY of houseguests these days!

    Load More Replies...
    Mari
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just make a can of coffee. If DIL wants a fancier coffee, she can make it herself. People are so spoiled these days.

    InfiniteZeek
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The YTA comments are wild. The number of unhinged people in this world is scary.

    Sue User
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What i am tired of is the " lets present both side as a testament to journalistic integrity" bs.

    UnclePanda
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate that. "Here are 10 Nobel Laureates and to present the counterview, Steve from the dumpster behind Dunkin donuts."

    Load More Replies...
    Tabitha
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When OP made her offer, her expectations were the normal, reasonable ones; milk or half & half, big cup or little cup, sugar or no sugar, etc. NOT some complicated and expensive order like MIL is a professional barista, ffs. TBH, Son and DIL should be the ones getting up and making everyone else their breakfasts—-or getting up and going out to pick it up, their treat—-at least on weekends or something. They aren’t children anymore, even though they’re living at his parents’ house (temporarily), and should be contributing more effort of their own as a way to pay his parents back for their hospitality. Treating his parents to dinner out, paying for the groceries—-and shopping for them too (with a strict list from them)—-plus a load of other kindnesses to pay them back for taking the two of them in. NOT become entitled “guests” who treat the owners of the house as servants. If my grown children acted like that after I helped them out in a pinch, their bags would be on the porch and they would be going to a hotel so fast their heads would spin.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Right 🤦‍♀️,I mean my daughter 24 likes her coffee frothy m Starbucks style, but she makes it herself have her own coffee machine , buys all the stuff herself , she,d never dream if asking me to make it like I was a sodding barista 😂 that said one she’s 24 n two she also makes fancy coffees inc Irish coffees at work in the busy village pub n has done for 8 yrs ,n she like my son live at home . I blame the dill bloody parents for not teaching her manners n respect ,

    Load More Replies...
    Christos Arvanitis
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not disappointed by all the delusional YTAs and ESHs. Sheesh.

    Rika
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of the comments voiced my thoughts: OP should print the directions to the nearest Starbucks and tell the entitled DIL she can ask her husband to wake up extra early to go and fetch her a coffee every morning. He'll probably tell her to eff off quickly.

    MagicalUnicorn
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    make them pay rent and extra if they want fancy B&B

    Ray Bolen
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I drink instant. Leave the jar on the counter. Just a kettle for hot water. "There. Coffee is made for you, I added extra water to the kettle"

    Load More Comments
    sturmwesen
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As someone who does her own fancy coffee: expecting more than milk and a common sweetener of choice is wacked. Even if they offered .edit: maybe stronger/weaker is another valid option

    Ace
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wasn't disappointed, the normal deranged YTAs are out in force. Insane, they are.

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As well as 18% of Pandas who voted for anything other than “The DiL is out of her d****d mind for expecting ANYTHING other than a generic coffee, ESPECIALLY seeing MiL has just a coffee pot!” “Well, you ASKED what I wanted!” The ONLY proper response to that is “Gargle my balls!” If someone is providing you with free housing, you graciously accept the spaghetti she makes for dinner; you DON’T sneer and say you want salmon don buri and broiled hamachi kama! Jesus, the AUDACITY of houseguests these days!

    Load More Replies...
    Mari
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just make a can of coffee. If DIL wants a fancier coffee, she can make it herself. People are so spoiled these days.

    InfiniteZeek
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The YTA comments are wild. The number of unhinged people in this world is scary.

    Sue User
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What i am tired of is the " lets present both side as a testament to journalistic integrity" bs.

    UnclePanda
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate that. "Here are 10 Nobel Laureates and to present the counterview, Steve from the dumpster behind Dunkin donuts."

    Load More Replies...
    Tabitha
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When OP made her offer, her expectations were the normal, reasonable ones; milk or half & half, big cup or little cup, sugar or no sugar, etc. NOT some complicated and expensive order like MIL is a professional barista, ffs. TBH, Son and DIL should be the ones getting up and making everyone else their breakfasts—-or getting up and going out to pick it up, their treat—-at least on weekends or something. They aren’t children anymore, even though they’re living at his parents’ house (temporarily), and should be contributing more effort of their own as a way to pay his parents back for their hospitality. Treating his parents to dinner out, paying for the groceries—-and shopping for them too (with a strict list from them)—-plus a load of other kindnesses to pay them back for taking the two of them in. NOT become entitled “guests” who treat the owners of the house as servants. If my grown children acted like that after I helped them out in a pinch, their bags would be on the porch and they would be going to a hotel so fast their heads would spin.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Right 🤦‍♀️,I mean my daughter 24 likes her coffee frothy m Starbucks style, but she makes it herself have her own coffee machine , buys all the stuff herself , she,d never dream if asking me to make it like I was a sodding barista 😂 that said one she’s 24 n two she also makes fancy coffees inc Irish coffees at work in the busy village pub n has done for 8 yrs ,n she like my son live at home . I blame the dill bloody parents for not teaching her manners n respect ,

    Load More Replies...
    Christos Arvanitis
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not disappointed by all the delusional YTAs and ESHs. Sheesh.

    Rika
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of the comments voiced my thoughts: OP should print the directions to the nearest Starbucks and tell the entitled DIL she can ask her husband to wake up extra early to go and fetch her a coffee every morning. He'll probably tell her to eff off quickly.

    MagicalUnicorn
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    make them pay rent and extra if they want fancy B&B

    Ray Bolen
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I drink instant. Leave the jar on the counter. Just a kettle for hot water. "There. Coffee is made for you, I added extra water to the kettle"

    Load More Comments
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