Woman Gets Accused Of ‘Publicly Humiliating’ The Mother Of Her Daughter’s Bully, Asks People Online If She Was Wrong
Bullying is one of those problems that we often hear about. It is especially common during the school years when kids tend to make fun of each other for various reasons, and one of them is a lack of attention from parents who should teach their kids manners and explain why they shouldn’t push other kids around. However, not every parent is capable of making sure that their kid behaves nicely with adults as well as other kids.
One Reddit user who is a 26-year-old mom to her 8-year-old daughter shared the situation that started in her daughter’s school, asking people for their opinion on whether what she did was wrong. The situation involved another girl and her mom who wouldn’t agree on taking some measures after being told that her kid is being a bully.
More Info: Reddit
Going to school is a joyous as well as stressful occasion for both kids and their parents
Image credits: frankjuarez (not the actual photo)
The woman started her story by telling that her daughter B has a classmate H who bullies the little girl. The woman revealed that H calls her classmate various insulting names and makes fun of her choices and things that she takes interest in. Every day the little girl would come home crying, so the mom decided to do something about it. At first, she contacted the teacher who agreed to do something from her side. That was talking with her class and reading them a story that would teach them that bullying is a bad thing. This did not help to stop H from making fun of B. Things did not get better even after the teacher talked with H. After this, the teacher tried to contact H’s parents and make sure that the kids’ parents would have an opportunity to talk things out. This all ended in H’s parents disagreeing to have the talk.
One mom decided to share a situation she encountered when she found out that her daughter was continuously bullied at school by another girl
Image credits: [deleted]
After this, the narrator decided to take matters into her own hands. She contacted H’s mom asking her to interfere and talk to her kid, but the woman replied that “This is normal kid behavior and you’ll see it when you have more parenting experience.” Even after this message, B’s mom didn’t stop and tried all possible ways to have a conversation with the bully’s mom.
The mom talked with the teacher about this and wanted to try all of the possible solutions to end this bullying
Image credits: [deleted]
When nothing seemed to work, the narrator tried to talk to the bully’s mom, but the woman wasn’t very interested in sorting this thing out
Image credits: [deleted]
Things took a more serious turn when despite all of her efforts, the user couldn’t get a hold of H’s mom, so she decided to write about this situation in a parents’ group chat where H’s mom was also present. The group was created for various logistic purposes, but the woman decided to share her concerns. After this, a lot of parents were expressing their support and asked to say if it was their kid who bullied her daughter. In the story, the woman added that she hadn’t written the name of the kid who bullied her daughter, as well as didn’t indicate the parent who was ignoring this problem.
Image credits: [deleted]
The mom then decided to share this situation in a group chat for the class’ parents and the situation escalated to a point where everyone found out who the bully and her mom was
Image credits: [deleted]
H’s mom wrote to B’s mom saying that they’d already talked about this, while at the same time replying in the parents’ group chat that “Bullying is never okay.” This is what made the narrator lose it, so she wrote a message that allowed others to understand who was the bully’s parent. After this, H’s mom blamed the woman for “publicly humiliating” her and making it hard for her daughter to continue going to this school.
The bully’s mom got angry at the woman because she humiliated her and ruined her and her daughter’s reputation
Image credits: [deleted]
Now the woman felt guilty for allowing this to go as far as everyone knowing who the bully and her parents were. The opinions in the comments varied from stating that it wasn’t the woman’s fault because H’s mom was the one who brought his upon herself to people who thought that this situation was mishandled. Some users gave advice on how such things should be handled, stating that the school could’ve done more about this. What do you think about this situation? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
Image credits: [deleted]
Some people online were quick to notice where this bully’s behavior was coming from
Others also gave some advice on how this situation should be dealt with
Some people found the narrator’s behavior to be out of line as well as the other parent
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Sometimes being an a**hole on your child's behalf is the only way to protect and help them. Don't let niceties get in the way of advocating for your kid!
I agree, and just because YTA in a situation doesn't mean you were wrong
Load More Replies... The bully's mother left herself open to what happened. OP indicated that the parent was part of the group chat by saying "you know who you are" but didn't say who the bully was. OP only took that step after the bully's mom publicly offered hypocritical sympathy. I would say that at that point, she deserved it.
My child was bullied at school, in every way possible. It got so bad that at age 8 she stopped eating because her mental health deteriorated so badly. I had spoken to the school frequently and nothing was ever done. I went to the headmistress and was told that the bully didn't have the best home life as her parents were poor and had a lot of children. I was told it would be unfair to penalise the child further. I wasn't having it and told the head that if she wouldn't do anything then I would speak to the child's mother myself and involve the school governors. It's amazing how quickly things got sorted out after that.
I have a lot a lot a lot of sympathy for a child with a poor home life. But that can’t been the end of it. The poor kid is never going to learn alternative ways of coping and managing their behaviour if they aren’t guided and if they aren’t being guided at home this is where school can step in.
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I cannot stand bullies. I was bullied a lot in my youth and teen years. I am 50 now. Back in those days, it was “character building” if you got bullied. Well, it certainly built my character - into someone living with depression and anxiety and difficulty making friends because I don’t believe the person actually likes me. So I was on top of any bullying for my three kids when they were young. It didn’t happen much and was always resolved, but I wouldn’t care one iota if it made me the “a$$hole” by outing parents or whatever, as long as it got the bullying to stop. My kids and their mental health is the most important thing to me
Can't upvote this enough. We were in the same boat on being bullied. Teachers were no help. They would sit there and watch it happen, and say it was part of growing up. Parents didn't believe me or just didn't want the hassle of it. It was harder for me to ignore the bruises on my face and body though.
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NTA. She played her card, so you played yours. Protect your child from toxic pricks like these until she's old enough to do it herself. She should be able to enjoy going to school, not dealing with another family's narcissistic bullying. Stand your ground, involve the headteacher, escalate it to the school board, hit the bit*h with a lawsuit. Whatever you have to do to protect your loved ones.
NTA You do not negotiate with terrorists. Take a teacher and go straight to principle. Explain dead end of situation and let them know that it is what going on on the premises of the school (after all) and they need to address the issue asap and put a stop to it. All the best to you and you daughter
As someone who was on the receiving end of constant bullying, name calling and belittling through most of school I can say just because it is not physical does not make it minor. My mother moved me to another primary school after bullying got particularly bad and she felt she got little support from the school. Long term bullying has an even longer term effect, it changes who you are. If you can't get that parent to help name and shame away, she made a choice to ignore you, it was the only thing you had left to do.
Yes, I agree. In grade 9, a friend of mine and I had to change classes because I was getting bullied every day. Fortunately, they left us alone after that.
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this mother is 100% nta and anyone who says she is is a giant ah and probably a bully themselves. do better
Bullying on daily base for weeks is definitely harmful for child who's target but also one doing it, because apparently she gets away with that behavior. Stupid parent ignoring it and you did good taking it to group chat after everything else failed and you tried a lot. Try to talk with her again maybe now she will be more open about discussing it with teacher. And try to give it a clean start when that happens. To resolve it is the most important for children and also whole class.
I think any parent should hear out another person if there is a concern about their child’s behavior. A short conversation where a parent lets their kid know that there is a problem if a great starting place to begin adjusting expectations.
The other mother really should have been willing to talk it out, because for all anyone knows, the situation could have been more complex than the OP realized. Perhaps the OP's child had said something unkind to the other child and hurt her feelings, and the "bully" child saw herself as standing up to someone who had attacked her, and the OP's child didn't fully understand what caused the conflict. This sort of thing could all be talked out, and possibly settled, IF the second mother had been willing to discuss the situation.
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Bullies hate exposure. I once filmed my ex-wife while she spewed a tirade of abuse at me, and she demanded my phone and she deleted it. I should have put it on Facebook.
Bullying is so difficult to manage and honestly most of the bullies I have encountered have learnt it from their parent(s). That's one of the reasons the usual channels just don't work. The parents get away with it because there are no consequences. I dont think the OP is the arsehole here. I think she is a mother who is determined to protect her child and, after doing all the right things, has come up against another bully.
As a teacher of 8 year olds, I have seen both sides of this story many times. I have had parents come to me and say that their kid told them they were being bullied, when in reality it was just minor things like 'she rolled her eyes at me' or 'she stuck out her tongue at me'. I know it hurts, and 8 year olds are very sensitive, but it is also part of the normal struggle of learning social skills. Of course, as teachers, we want to model and guide students to treat others with kindness as much as possible but children are still learning and they make mistakes. ALSO. In 99 percent of cases I have seen, the unkind words go in both directions but only get reported to parents as one-way. I think the best thing for this parent to do is to forget the other mom and discuss with her daughter how to respond to rude people with grace and dignity. That in itself is a life skill she will need as she gets older.
NTA. Teach your kid how to fight. Learning a martial art (for example) will give your child more confidence and it will be useful when the bullying escalates. Which it will.
Sadly, teaching a kid martial arts doesn't help with a steady stream of unkind comments, if the recipient of the comments uses her skills she will get suspended for physically attacking another kid. There are other and worse kinds of bullying where learning martial arts is appropriate, but not here.
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Normal child behavior? Only if you don't take the time to actually parent your child properly.
The worst part about this was the teacher saying she couldn't do anything about it. She's the adult in charge. The children are in her care. Either she's not doing her job or there is a really bad rule preventing her from doing her job. And people think this is natural, but if there were no schools, there would be a lot less bullying, as kids could largely pick and choose who they hung out with (as is the natural way).
She tried with a lesson about bullying and she offered a meeting with the other parents to discuss the situation. Both failed, not on her part. She did what she was able to do.
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To be completely honest, I'm a bit torn on this one. I hate when people shame others online, the reason not withstanding. Once it's out there it's there to stay, no matter if the person shamed changes or not. BUT bullying can really mess with a person's head, especially children. The thing is, there will always be a bully. When one stops another may start. Teaching a child to have enough self respect to not let that get to them and to report an incident to a teacher (in a private way) shortly after it happens will help them more in the long run than confronting the parent of a bully. Schools absolutely need to do more but there is truly only so much they actually CAN do about bullying.
no. no. no. no. being called out on poor behavior is NOT being shamed. choices in behavior have consequences. play stupid games win stupid prizes.
Load More Replies... I’m not understanding why the mom of the bullied kid would be an a**hole?! She tried to handle it like an adult and the other mom couldn’t be bothered to take a look at her perfect little princess real behavior. Just because you refuse to see it doesn’t mean it’s not there!
Sorry but there is no sympathies from me for the bully's mom or the bully for that matter. You neglected to teach your kid human decency, then someone else will and you along with them. That victim's mother is looking out for her child and I think she did all she could to be civilized about it. This is but a small price to pay for being an absolute crappy human being lest that child grows up and mess with the wrong people and had to pay for it worse.
IMHO, Op did do everything 'by the book' until she hit the brick wall of the bully's parent. How ironic that when the bully's mom was faced with the same type of situation that her kid puts OP's kid into, she cries about it. I would ask the school to move my child to a different class ASAP. If there is only one class, I would ask to be a classroom Helper. If that fails, I would transfer my kid to a different school or home school.
The word bullying is so overused I think people have forgotten how serious bullying is. An 8 year old bullying is probably not that criminal but the persistnce is. Almost every day? That's crazy for such a small child
if a school knows about the bullying as isnt doing anything/enough to stop it wouldnt that be classed as a form of child abuse/neglect?
Small children are the cruellest creatures on the planet, no question.
Well, I've been bullied for 9 years in elementary school which caused me problems till these days (28 now)... If I would ever have kid, and it will be bullied, I would literally sued the school and the parents... I don't care about my reputation, they destroyed me back then, I would fight for my potential kid with all a could use
first, let me say my son is now 42 so this happened decades ago. he was getting bullied by a group w/a leader, C. the group followed C's directions & actions. it escalated from little to physical w/my son coming home w/a bruise on his chest of someone's foot. i arranged a group call w/principal & district super. told them that if they did not take action as my son's safety was their responsibility while in school that i would file suit collectively & individually based on stalking laws which was permissible where i live. i think they may have stumbled over themselves in rearranging classes & breaking up that group. i do not play when it comes to kids - mine or others.
No one handled this well. The teacher should have talked to both kids. There is usually more than one side to stories like this. Then the teacher should have gotten administration involved. OP should have as well. The other parents don't need to know what's going on. What is the "bully" improves her behavior but now every parent thinks of her as that "bad kid?" It is absolutely inappropriate to talk about another child's behavior issues in a public setting like that. She is only 8.
Didn't the school have a social worker or counselor? That's their job. It would have been professionally handled and documented for reference too. Then at least the school could have said for privacy reasons it is being addressed and if other resources are needed, the family would receive the help. As this suggested it was a bigger issue beyond the classroom.
In my state/area school counselors and social workers are extremely part time and reserved for very extreme cases. This year has seen a temporary reprieve due to adjusting back to in person learning and federal money to pay for full time mental health support. They don't even have a school nurse full time. It's unfortunate.
Load More Replies... I was bullied 55 years ago. I still remember what it was like to go to school being an outcast, endlessly feeling alone & friendless. I spent almost every night thinking about killing myself. Every day was hell. Even now something will happen & I'll be overwhelmed by the memories of that time. Being bullied in school has affected my whole life, every relationship I have ever had, every decision I have ever made. Everytime I hear about a school shooting I wonder what happened to that child. Was he bullied. I turned my pain, suffering, & anger inward. Did the shooter turn his outward instead. As horrible as my life was then imagining it today with cell phones & the internet is unbearable. Support & protect your child even if it means you need to move out of a school system.
i think H's mom was trying to bully OP (belittled her on parenting experience? how much experience do you need to know that 'normal behavior' isn't always acceptable behavior) good for OP - she tried at every turn to be mature about this and H's mom wouldn't let her.
NTA. She drove that bus herself when she acted one way in the group chat and another in a private message at nearly the same time. Mom Karen is raising a mini Karen and it won't end well for either. Do you know what I never see? I never see the adult victims of childhood bullying say it is "normal" behaviour. It is only those that were themselves the bullies that say that. Firstly, it's not normal behaviour! It is learned and/or enabled. Secondly, almost every instance of school shootings and suicides are by victims of bullies that reached their breaking point. Some of you want to claim bullying is normal behavior? Well then, you should also accept that a possible violent and deadly retaliation is a "normal" response for some victims. No one knows the limits of another...
I would say being an asshole with reason here, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see H’s mother bullying her daughter as well.
I had a friend whose daughter was the same age as mine, but she already had grown children (last one was a surprise). I was always amazed at how chilled and laid back she was about everything, including kids misbehaving and naughtiness and problems at school. To me, doing it for the first time, everything seemed like a REALLY big deal. Once I got much older, I could look back and say that not everything was a big deal and that it really was a good idea sometimes to either let things go, or to teach your kid how to respond differently, or stick up for themselves, or just tell THEM to let it go and not worry about it. So I can honestly see both sides of this story, the young mom really worried about getting it right and the older mom who knows what she's doing but also isn't getting wound up about every little thing her kid does. At the end of the day, your best bet is to teach YOUR child coping skills and response strategies, rather than trying to change everybody else in the scenario.
About the story: The mother exhausted the options of teacher and mom. She needs to address the school principal with this problem and tell her/him how other venues have been unsuccessful
Sort your kid out, bullies are Aholes. The parents are the ones rearing the child sort yourself out . Bullying ruins lives.
Why can't the teacher do anything? There's no punishments for bullying at the school?
Oft times, the victim is punished along with the bully.
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So the teacher can do nothing about a child's behavior at school? Nothing? WTF are they there for then? It's certainly not for their expertise in teaching 8 year old to stick macaroni and glitter to cards.
its not the teachers job to teach YOUR child not to be a POS human being.
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YTA, but she didn't give you much of a choice. When nice doesn't work, be an a**hole if it gets the point across. Next step would have been to get the principle and the superintendent involved. You tried to handle it in a way that would have kept things private between you and the offending child/parent/ But if she'd rather have the admin get involved in putting it on her permanent record through detention or suspension....by all means..she can continue to ignore a parent that has a valid complaint about the child's behavior.
How are we supposed to read these stories? Have you noticed three don't sizes and the paragraphs are either repeated or with a slightly different version? Why do Panda editors do that?
she literally tried everything. she stood up for her daughter. and in no way is she the bully now. there are consequences to your actions and choices. the ah mom didn't give a crap and she apparently cares more about her daughters rep than what kind of person her daughter actually is.
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Sometimes being an a**hole on your child's behalf is the only way to protect and help them. Don't let niceties get in the way of advocating for your kid!
I agree, and just because YTA in a situation doesn't mean you were wrong
Load More Replies... The bully's mother left herself open to what happened. OP indicated that the parent was part of the group chat by saying "you know who you are" but didn't say who the bully was. OP only took that step after the bully's mom publicly offered hypocritical sympathy. I would say that at that point, she deserved it.
My child was bullied at school, in every way possible. It got so bad that at age 8 she stopped eating because her mental health deteriorated so badly. I had spoken to the school frequently and nothing was ever done. I went to the headmistress and was told that the bully didn't have the best home life as her parents were poor and had a lot of children. I was told it would be unfair to penalise the child further. I wasn't having it and told the head that if she wouldn't do anything then I would speak to the child's mother myself and involve the school governors. It's amazing how quickly things got sorted out after that.
I have a lot a lot a lot of sympathy for a child with a poor home life. But that can’t been the end of it. The poor kid is never going to learn alternative ways of coping and managing their behaviour if they aren’t guided and if they aren’t being guided at home this is where school can step in.
Load More Replies... I cannot stand bullies. I was bullied a lot in my youth and teen years. I am 50 now. Back in those days, it was “character building” if you got bullied. Well, it certainly built my character - into someone living with depression and anxiety and difficulty making friends because I don’t believe the person actually likes me. So I was on top of any bullying for my three kids when they were young. It didn’t happen much and was always resolved, but I wouldn’t care one iota if it made me the “a$$hole” by outing parents or whatever, as long as it got the bullying to stop. My kids and their mental health is the most important thing to me
Can't upvote this enough. We were in the same boat on being bullied. Teachers were no help. They would sit there and watch it happen, and say it was part of growing up. Parents didn't believe me or just didn't want the hassle of it. It was harder for me to ignore the bruises on my face and body though.
Load More Replies... NTA. She played her card, so you played yours. Protect your child from toxic pricks like these until she's old enough to do it herself. She should be able to enjoy going to school, not dealing with another family's narcissistic bullying. Stand your ground, involve the headteacher, escalate it to the school board, hit the bit*h with a lawsuit. Whatever you have to do to protect your loved ones.
NTA You do not negotiate with terrorists. Take a teacher and go straight to principle. Explain dead end of situation and let them know that it is what going on on the premises of the school (after all) and they need to address the issue asap and put a stop to it. All the best to you and you daughter
As someone who was on the receiving end of constant bullying, name calling and belittling through most of school I can say just because it is not physical does not make it minor. My mother moved me to another primary school after bullying got particularly bad and she felt she got little support from the school. Long term bullying has an even longer term effect, it changes who you are. If you can't get that parent to help name and shame away, she made a choice to ignore you, it was the only thing you had left to do.
Yes, I agree. In grade 9, a friend of mine and I had to change classes because I was getting bullied every day. Fortunately, they left us alone after that.
Load More Replies... this mother is 100% nta and anyone who says she is is a giant ah and probably a bully themselves. do better
Bullying on daily base for weeks is definitely harmful for child who's target but also one doing it, because apparently she gets away with that behavior. Stupid parent ignoring it and you did good taking it to group chat after everything else failed and you tried a lot. Try to talk with her again maybe now she will be more open about discussing it with teacher. And try to give it a clean start when that happens. To resolve it is the most important for children and also whole class.
I think any parent should hear out another person if there is a concern about their child’s behavior. A short conversation where a parent lets their kid know that there is a problem if a great starting place to begin adjusting expectations.
The other mother really should have been willing to talk it out, because for all anyone knows, the situation could have been more complex than the OP realized. Perhaps the OP's child had said something unkind to the other child and hurt her feelings, and the "bully" child saw herself as standing up to someone who had attacked her, and the OP's child didn't fully understand what caused the conflict. This sort of thing could all be talked out, and possibly settled, IF the second mother had been willing to discuss the situation.
Load More Replies... Bullies hate exposure. I once filmed my ex-wife while she spewed a tirade of abuse at me, and she demanded my phone and she deleted it. I should have put it on Facebook.
Bullying is so difficult to manage and honestly most of the bullies I have encountered have learnt it from their parent(s). That's one of the reasons the usual channels just don't work. The parents get away with it because there are no consequences. I dont think the OP is the arsehole here. I think she is a mother who is determined to protect her child and, after doing all the right things, has come up against another bully.
As a teacher of 8 year olds, I have seen both sides of this story many times. I have had parents come to me and say that their kid told them they were being bullied, when in reality it was just minor things like 'she rolled her eyes at me' or 'she stuck out her tongue at me'. I know it hurts, and 8 year olds are very sensitive, but it is also part of the normal struggle of learning social skills. Of course, as teachers, we want to model and guide students to treat others with kindness as much as possible but children are still learning and they make mistakes. ALSO. In 99 percent of cases I have seen, the unkind words go in both directions but only get reported to parents as one-way. I think the best thing for this parent to do is to forget the other mom and discuss with her daughter how to respond to rude people with grace and dignity. That in itself is a life skill she will need as she gets older.
NTA. Teach your kid how to fight. Learning a martial art (for example) will give your child more confidence and it will be useful when the bullying escalates. Which it will.
Sadly, teaching a kid martial arts doesn't help with a steady stream of unkind comments, if the recipient of the comments uses her skills she will get suspended for physically attacking another kid. There are other and worse kinds of bullying where learning martial arts is appropriate, but not here.
Load More Replies... Normal child behavior? Only if you don't take the time to actually parent your child properly.
The worst part about this was the teacher saying she couldn't do anything about it. She's the adult in charge. The children are in her care. Either she's not doing her job or there is a really bad rule preventing her from doing her job. And people think this is natural, but if there were no schools, there would be a lot less bullying, as kids could largely pick and choose who they hung out with (as is the natural way).
She tried with a lesson about bullying and she offered a meeting with the other parents to discuss the situation. Both failed, not on her part. She did what she was able to do.
Load More Replies... To be completely honest, I'm a bit torn on this one. I hate when people shame others online, the reason not withstanding. Once it's out there it's there to stay, no matter if the person shamed changes or not. BUT bullying can really mess with a person's head, especially children. The thing is, there will always be a bully. When one stops another may start. Teaching a child to have enough self respect to not let that get to them and to report an incident to a teacher (in a private way) shortly after it happens will help them more in the long run than confronting the parent of a bully. Schools absolutely need to do more but there is truly only so much they actually CAN do about bullying.
no. no. no. no. being called out on poor behavior is NOT being shamed. choices in behavior have consequences. play stupid games win stupid prizes.
Load More Replies... I’m not understanding why the mom of the bullied kid would be an a**hole?! She tried to handle it like an adult and the other mom couldn’t be bothered to take a look at her perfect little princess real behavior. Just because you refuse to see it doesn’t mean it’s not there!
Sorry but there is no sympathies from me for the bully's mom or the bully for that matter. You neglected to teach your kid human decency, then someone else will and you along with them. That victim's mother is looking out for her child and I think she did all she could to be civilized about it. This is but a small price to pay for being an absolute crappy human being lest that child grows up and mess with the wrong people and had to pay for it worse.
IMHO, Op did do everything 'by the book' until she hit the brick wall of the bully's parent. How ironic that when the bully's mom was faced with the same type of situation that her kid puts OP's kid into, she cries about it. I would ask the school to move my child to a different class ASAP. If there is only one class, I would ask to be a classroom Helper. If that fails, I would transfer my kid to a different school or home school.
The word bullying is so overused I think people have forgotten how serious bullying is. An 8 year old bullying is probably not that criminal but the persistnce is. Almost every day? That's crazy for such a small child
if a school knows about the bullying as isnt doing anything/enough to stop it wouldnt that be classed as a form of child abuse/neglect?
Small children are the cruellest creatures on the planet, no question.
Well, I've been bullied for 9 years in elementary school which caused me problems till these days (28 now)... If I would ever have kid, and it will be bullied, I would literally sued the school and the parents... I don't care about my reputation, they destroyed me back then, I would fight for my potential kid with all a could use
first, let me say my son is now 42 so this happened decades ago. he was getting bullied by a group w/a leader, C. the group followed C's directions & actions. it escalated from little to physical w/my son coming home w/a bruise on his chest of someone's foot. i arranged a group call w/principal & district super. told them that if they did not take action as my son's safety was their responsibility while in school that i would file suit collectively & individually based on stalking laws which was permissible where i live. i think they may have stumbled over themselves in rearranging classes & breaking up that group. i do not play when it comes to kids - mine or others.
No one handled this well. The teacher should have talked to both kids. There is usually more than one side to stories like this. Then the teacher should have gotten administration involved. OP should have as well. The other parents don't need to know what's going on. What is the "bully" improves her behavior but now every parent thinks of her as that "bad kid?" It is absolutely inappropriate to talk about another child's behavior issues in a public setting like that. She is only 8.
Didn't the school have a social worker or counselor? That's their job. It would have been professionally handled and documented for reference too. Then at least the school could have said for privacy reasons it is being addressed and if other resources are needed, the family would receive the help. As this suggested it was a bigger issue beyond the classroom.
In my state/area school counselors and social workers are extremely part time and reserved for very extreme cases. This year has seen a temporary reprieve due to adjusting back to in person learning and federal money to pay for full time mental health support. They don't even have a school nurse full time. It's unfortunate.
Load More Replies... I was bullied 55 years ago. I still remember what it was like to go to school being an outcast, endlessly feeling alone & friendless. I spent almost every night thinking about killing myself. Every day was hell. Even now something will happen & I'll be overwhelmed by the memories of that time. Being bullied in school has affected my whole life, every relationship I have ever had, every decision I have ever made. Everytime I hear about a school shooting I wonder what happened to that child. Was he bullied. I turned my pain, suffering, & anger inward. Did the shooter turn his outward instead. As horrible as my life was then imagining it today with cell phones & the internet is unbearable. Support & protect your child even if it means you need to move out of a school system.
i think H's mom was trying to bully OP (belittled her on parenting experience? how much experience do you need to know that 'normal behavior' isn't always acceptable behavior) good for OP - she tried at every turn to be mature about this and H's mom wouldn't let her.
NTA. She drove that bus herself when she acted one way in the group chat and another in a private message at nearly the same time. Mom Karen is raising a mini Karen and it won't end well for either. Do you know what I never see? I never see the adult victims of childhood bullying say it is "normal" behaviour. It is only those that were themselves the bullies that say that. Firstly, it's not normal behaviour! It is learned and/or enabled. Secondly, almost every instance of school shootings and suicides are by victims of bullies that reached their breaking point. Some of you want to claim bullying is normal behavior? Well then, you should also accept that a possible violent and deadly retaliation is a "normal" response for some victims. No one knows the limits of another...
I would say being an asshole with reason here, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see H’s mother bullying her daughter as well.
I had a friend whose daughter was the same age as mine, but she already had grown children (last one was a surprise). I was always amazed at how chilled and laid back she was about everything, including kids misbehaving and naughtiness and problems at school. To me, doing it for the first time, everything seemed like a REALLY big deal. Once I got much older, I could look back and say that not everything was a big deal and that it really was a good idea sometimes to either let things go, or to teach your kid how to respond differently, or stick up for themselves, or just tell THEM to let it go and not worry about it. So I can honestly see both sides of this story, the young mom really worried about getting it right and the older mom who knows what she's doing but also isn't getting wound up about every little thing her kid does. At the end of the day, your best bet is to teach YOUR child coping skills and response strategies, rather than trying to change everybody else in the scenario.
About the story: The mother exhausted the options of teacher and mom. She needs to address the school principal with this problem and tell her/him how other venues have been unsuccessful
Sort your kid out, bullies are Aholes. The parents are the ones rearing the child sort yourself out . Bullying ruins lives.
Why can't the teacher do anything? There's no punishments for bullying at the school?
Oft times, the victim is punished along with the bully.
Load More Replies... So the teacher can do nothing about a child's behavior at school? Nothing? WTF are they there for then? It's certainly not for their expertise in teaching 8 year old to stick macaroni and glitter to cards.
its not the teachers job to teach YOUR child not to be a POS human being.
Load More Replies... YTA, but she didn't give you much of a choice. When nice doesn't work, be an a**hole if it gets the point across. Next step would have been to get the principle and the superintendent involved. You tried to handle it in a way that would have kept things private between you and the offending child/parent/ But if she'd rather have the admin get involved in putting it on her permanent record through detention or suspension....by all means..she can continue to ignore a parent that has a valid complaint about the child's behavior.
How are we supposed to read these stories? Have you noticed three don't sizes and the paragraphs are either repeated or with a slightly different version? Why do Panda editors do that?
she literally tried everything. she stood up for her daughter. and in no way is she the bully now. there are consequences to your actions and choices. the ah mom didn't give a crap and she apparently cares more about her daughters rep than what kind of person her daughter actually is.
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