Recently, content creator and podcast author Phoebe Parsons divided the internet by asking her TikTok followers one seemingly simple question: “Do you agree that this is a fair gift for a first birthday?”
The gift she referred to was a bottle of champagne, which was meant not for the baby (of course!) but for the parents. In a video that has been viewed 14.3k times, Parsons explained her reasoning behind this untraditional gift.
She also added that she would really love to know other peoples’ thoughts on this, so be sure to share what you think of it in the comments below!
Content creator Phoebe Parsons asked her TikTok followers if they, like her, thought that bringing a bottle of champagne to a 1-year-old’s birthday is a fair gift
Image credits: phoebeacp
Image credits: phoebeacp
Here is the full video Parsons shared on her TikTok channel, making everyone wonder whether champagne is indeed a fair gift
@phoebeacp Do you agree that this is a fair gift for a first birthday? #firstbirthday #champagne ♬ original sound – Phoebe Parsons
Bored Panda reached out to Phoebe Parsons, who had no idea that it would blow up the way that it did. “To be honest, I still don’t really understand. I’m just at the age now where I’m constantly going to baby showers and first birthdays and noticed how many presents kids actually get, which often times is just a cheap noisy plastic toy that will be thrown out in no time and offers no sentimental value,” she explained.
When it comes to the heated discussion Parsons’ video ignited, she believes it comes down to the fact that people love to have an opinion, particularly on social media. “I think people assume that because I chose to give a gift to the parents, it means that I don’t care about the child, which is not the case at all.”
Parsons explained that she’d just rather a gift be appreciated. “That’s the purpose of a gift, after all – it should never be an unthoughtful token and I know they love champagne and it meant a lot to them.” For any critics out there, Parsons says: “if you give any parents a gift – at any time – I guarantee they’ll be grateful for it.”
Parenting coach says it’s wonderful that the baby’s parents were thought of, calls it “a thoughtful act”
“How wonderful that the parents were thought of and a gift given, whether it be champagne or not, it is such a thoughtful act,” Anisa Lewis, a positive parenting and life coach, commented for Bored Panda in regards to the story.
According to the parenting coach, the art of gift-giving is to think of the receiver and what they need. “It was a first birthday party, so the attention is on the child, but think what the parent has been through to get them to their first birthday.” Moreover, “Parenting in that first year is tough, there are highs, lows, and a whole lot in between. The gift is to acknowledge the journey of the parent and to say, you know what, I understand this has been an incredible year for you,” Lewis added.
When asked whether it’s okay to give presents to the baby’s parents and not the baby, Lewis said that everyone has an opinion and whether you take offense or have an issue with the parents getting a gift and not the child depends on each of their own. “It is down to your own values system and perhaps your own experience,” she explained.
“A first birthday is a milestone, and one that the child will not remember but the parents will. Personally, I would have given a small gift to the child and something for the parents but this is because one of my love languages is gifts and I am a giver!” Lewis concluded.
Many people saluted the author for her bubbly gift
Others thought that since it is the baby’s birthday, it should receive something too
At that age i think it's fair. One of my friends did say her son's 3rd birthday party was mostly for her... After 2 years of isolation due to Covid, she wanted to see adults again 😄. Don't get me wrong, the kid had fun, but he would have been just as happy with his grandparents and aunt there.
One of my friends who has 3 kids says she gives the parents a gift card to something that will help them with their family (grocery, amazon gift card). Because yea, majority of the gifts are for the child and they won't remember their gift.
I always get the parents and the child a gift till the kid get a little older. The child's gift is always a throwaway because they won't remember it anyway. The parents get better stuff. Also, I always gift the mother and father at the baby shower and buy something the baby once it is born and the parents tell me what they need.
It is sad how spoiled kids are nowadays. Can’t even called treats “treats” anymore because they aren’t treats, they are daily occurrences. In lunch boxes, after school, dessert after dinner. Every day. Geez, when I was a kid in the 70’s, I knew every gift I got and can probably remember them all now, since we didn’t get a lot of stuff for stuff’s sake.
Load More Replies... I think it's a great idea, I would probably laugh and happily accept the gift. a 1 year old needs very few toys, it'd be better to get food, diapers, or other baby related items, or something to support the parents, champagne included
I agree. 1 year olds don't need presents, nor do they care. They'll have more fun with the paper bag you brought it in anyway.
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Assuming you know the parents drink, this is a wonderful idea! I kept first birthday cards (but it was like 20 people, not 50), so I'd probably buy a card and send the little one best wishes in it for the future.
Chocolates work pretty well too, equally if mom is still nursing!
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The last comment of a bottle would be more appropriate after the birth. So it can sit around in thr house for another year?? And no, I'm not getting the baby a gift as well. I already got the baby gifts.
That was my thought. Most mothers nurse, and the baby is nursing frequently for months. At a year, some folks are still nursing but a lot are not and that kid is eating food now. Time to enjoy that champagne.
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Although champagne is killer on my stomach, I would've loved wine or something to treat me and my boyfriend at the time. We had baby clothes, cloths, blankets, and more toys than necessary given to us all throughout the pregnancy and the first year, and the next year, and the next year. It just made more clutter, things to clean and store. At the same time, I felt like I'd be seen as a bad mom and think of being judged if I had drank any alcohol. Like that one nosy biddy who wouldn't stop frowning at us drinking beer at a restaurant with our meals. Sorry, I'm getting off topic. But, yeah, the baby isn't going to care. I do remember small bits of my first birthday, like being held by my parents and trying to touch the balloons, listening to Yellow Submarine.
1-3 is pretty pointless no child ever remembers those years as far as physical objects are concerned. it is however the age when traumatic events can later on cause phobias. Either way those ages should be focused on providing emotional support for the child. the ideal gift would be something you give to the parents to help bond with their kids.
Some children actually have memories from when they were babies. I actually recall the sensation of crawling up several flights of stairs in an apartment stairwell in Toronto when my parents were moving to a house in 1969, and not watching me very well I guess so I took off at 6 months of age. My uncle who was helping them, actually found me. Guess I didn’t want to move. And I recall my first birthday party.
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Obviously 1st birthday parties are more for the parents, as a one year old isn't going to remember it or the gifts. If the celebration is about the milestone of completing their first year on the planet then a cake and singing happy birthday should be enough. Why does every celebration have to be about consumerism and stuff?
My kids were more happy with a special bday cake just for them than any other gift they had gotten for their 1st bday. If I remember right, me and my girls dad had got a jar of moonshine with cherries in it on our 14yr olds 1st bday....(even though her older sister wanted some but she got a bike instead from us. My kids shared bdays when they were little since their bdays are 2 weeks apart). 1yr olds doesn't remember their bday come years later. The only thing my kids remembers were their own cake(I have pics of them taking their 1st bite from their cakes at 1. My kids are 14 and 19 now)
The best first birthday gift we received was a spa gift certificate. Only one toy survived to my son's second birthday because it wasn't age appropriate yet. Plus, all the keepsake items were given at the baby shower or when my son was born.
Okay so this is funny now, but when I was a kid back in the 70’s, I was mad at my parents because once I learned to read, as kids do, I saw all the things that had been given to me when I was born, written in my baby book, and I wanted to know what happened to the box of chocolates that was listed. I’m not joking. I was a very literal child. I expected that they should have saved the candy until I was old enough because it clearly said in the book, my baby book, which I still have, that these were gifts for baby. And a dozen yellow roses. I would have like to have seen them. Oh and apparently a $5 bill which was a fortune back then. Parents spent my money! Plus I actually remember my first birthday party - sitting in the high chair and the beautiful pink cake with one large candle in the middle being presented to me. But yeah, as a 53 year-old adult I’d say, sure, give the parents champagne and maybe a gift card for the child’s continuing needs. No kid these days needs any toys.
I'm just trying to wrap my head around "no kid these days needs any toys"
Load More Replies... Not without bring a large cardboard box for the kid to play with too. Maybe paint it pretty. What kind of picture will a kid with a liquor bottle make?
The baby probably just learned how to keep its giant head up straight on his body. You don't need to give the child anything. The parents are the one suffering. Should have gotten them two bottles.
I live in France and nobody would question this! /s
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Because 1 out of 50 people got something for the parents on the child's FIRST birthday, you talk as though this will traumatize the child who really doesn't know what's going on. Really??
Load More Replies... At that age i think it's fair. One of my friends did say her son's 3rd birthday party was mostly for her... After 2 years of isolation due to Covid, she wanted to see adults again 😄. Don't get me wrong, the kid had fun, but he would have been just as happy with his grandparents and aunt there.
One of my friends who has 3 kids says she gives the parents a gift card to something that will help them with their family (grocery, amazon gift card). Because yea, majority of the gifts are for the child and they won't remember their gift.
I always get the parents and the child a gift till the kid get a little older. The child's gift is always a throwaway because they won't remember it anyway. The parents get better stuff. Also, I always gift the mother and father at the baby shower and buy something the baby once it is born and the parents tell me what they need.
It is sad how spoiled kids are nowadays. Can’t even called treats “treats” anymore because they aren’t treats, they are daily occurrences. In lunch boxes, after school, dessert after dinner. Every day. Geez, when I was a kid in the 70’s, I knew every gift I got and can probably remember them all now, since we didn’t get a lot of stuff for stuff’s sake.
Load More Replies... I think it's a great idea, I would probably laugh and happily accept the gift. a 1 year old needs very few toys, it'd be better to get food, diapers, or other baby related items, or something to support the parents, champagne included
I agree. 1 year olds don't need presents, nor do they care. They'll have more fun with the paper bag you brought it in anyway.
Load More Replies... Assuming you know the parents drink, this is a wonderful idea! I kept first birthday cards (but it was like 20 people, not 50), so I'd probably buy a card and send the little one best wishes in it for the future.
Chocolates work pretty well too, equally if mom is still nursing!
Load More Replies... The last comment of a bottle would be more appropriate after the birth. So it can sit around in thr house for another year?? And no, I'm not getting the baby a gift as well. I already got the baby gifts.
That was my thought. Most mothers nurse, and the baby is nursing frequently for months. At a year, some folks are still nursing but a lot are not and that kid is eating food now. Time to enjoy that champagne.
Load More Replies... Although champagne is killer on my stomach, I would've loved wine or something to treat me and my boyfriend at the time. We had baby clothes, cloths, blankets, and more toys than necessary given to us all throughout the pregnancy and the first year, and the next year, and the next year. It just made more clutter, things to clean and store. At the same time, I felt like I'd be seen as a bad mom and think of being judged if I had drank any alcohol. Like that one nosy biddy who wouldn't stop frowning at us drinking beer at a restaurant with our meals. Sorry, I'm getting off topic. But, yeah, the baby isn't going to care. I do remember small bits of my first birthday, like being held by my parents and trying to touch the balloons, listening to Yellow Submarine.
1-3 is pretty pointless no child ever remembers those years as far as physical objects are concerned. it is however the age when traumatic events can later on cause phobias. Either way those ages should be focused on providing emotional support for the child. the ideal gift would be something you give to the parents to help bond with their kids.
Some children actually have memories from when they were babies. I actually recall the sensation of crawling up several flights of stairs in an apartment stairwell in Toronto when my parents were moving to a house in 1969, and not watching me very well I guess so I took off at 6 months of age. My uncle who was helping them, actually found me. Guess I didn’t want to move. And I recall my first birthday party.
Load More Replies... Obviously 1st birthday parties are more for the parents, as a one year old isn't going to remember it or the gifts. If the celebration is about the milestone of completing their first year on the planet then a cake and singing happy birthday should be enough. Why does every celebration have to be about consumerism and stuff?
My kids were more happy with a special bday cake just for them than any other gift they had gotten for their 1st bday. If I remember right, me and my girls dad had got a jar of moonshine with cherries in it on our 14yr olds 1st bday....(even though her older sister wanted some but she got a bike instead from us. My kids shared bdays when they were little since their bdays are 2 weeks apart). 1yr olds doesn't remember their bday come years later. The only thing my kids remembers were their own cake(I have pics of them taking their 1st bite from their cakes at 1. My kids are 14 and 19 now)
The best first birthday gift we received was a spa gift certificate. Only one toy survived to my son's second birthday because it wasn't age appropriate yet. Plus, all the keepsake items were given at the baby shower or when my son was born.
Okay so this is funny now, but when I was a kid back in the 70’s, I was mad at my parents because once I learned to read, as kids do, I saw all the things that had been given to me when I was born, written in my baby book, and I wanted to know what happened to the box of chocolates that was listed. I’m not joking. I was a very literal child. I expected that they should have saved the candy until I was old enough because it clearly said in the book, my baby book, which I still have, that these were gifts for baby. And a dozen yellow roses. I would have like to have seen them. Oh and apparently a $5 bill which was a fortune back then. Parents spent my money! Plus I actually remember my first birthday party - sitting in the high chair and the beautiful pink cake with one large candle in the middle being presented to me. But yeah, as a 53 year-old adult I’d say, sure, give the parents champagne and maybe a gift card for the child’s continuing needs. No kid these days needs any toys.
I'm just trying to wrap my head around "no kid these days needs any toys"
Load More Replies... Not without bring a large cardboard box for the kid to play with too. Maybe paint it pretty. What kind of picture will a kid with a liquor bottle make?
The baby probably just learned how to keep its giant head up straight on his body. You don't need to give the child anything. The parents are the one suffering. Should have gotten them two bottles.
I live in France and nobody would question this! /s
Load More Replies... Because 1 out of 50 people got something for the parents on the child's FIRST birthday, you talk as though this will traumatize the child who really doesn't know what's going on. Really??
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