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One Man Tries To Challenge An Expert Woman On Her Field By ‘Mansplaining’, Gets A Perfect Shut Down From Her Friend
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One Man Tries To Challenge An Expert Woman On Her Field By ‘Mansplaining’, Gets A Perfect Shut Down From Her Friend

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We all know people who think that having an opinion on something automatically turns them into experts. The worst part, their inflated egos encourage them to challenge the actual knowledge of the experts. However many people noticed an interesting tendency – men do this to women way much often and gave this phenomenon a name – mansplaining. The term is guilty of many many heated debates, with opponents saying that this sort of ‘Iknow better than you’ behavior has nothing to do with gender. However, the women who have experienced it kindly disagree. There are just so many men who assume that if a woman doesn’t agree with their opinion she must know nothing about the topic and proceeds to explain it to her, completely ignoring her education on the subject. Last year, a woman named Hilary Scarsella shared a situation which highlights this ridiculous mindset some men have and gave good advice on how it can be solved.

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Scarsella has two masters degrees and is completing a Ph.D. in Theological Studies. Her field of focus is religion, psychological trauma, and sexual and gender-based violence. Last year, she was an invited speaker in a conference, where she got the chance to talk about these issues. After the conference was over, she was sitting in the airport with a friend she made there, when a guy sat next to them and engaged in a discussion about Scarsella’s work. Well, to be fair, it didn’t seem like a discussion, this person, who has no knowledge in the field, tried to convince Scarsella of his point of view. While there’s nothing wrong with stating your opinion, Scarsella friend noticing something important the guy in questions failed to see it himself. Here’s how the situation unfolded.

“Story time. I’m at the airport, working on my laptop, sitting near a guy I just met at a conference this weekend. He and I were both invited speakers, and he was waiting for his flight home too. Another guy comes and sits across from us. He starts talking. He is talking a lot. He finds out we were speakers at a conference about trauma, theology, sexual abuse, and the church. He thinks this is really interesting. He’s into theology and trauma. He asks what my degrees are in. He launches into explaining his belief that everything happens for a reason, that the universe is filled with forces that even out all wrongdoing, that everyone is where they are supposed to be at all times, that something good comes from each thing that is bad, and so on. I listen and ask him questions and let him know kindly that I disagree. Did slavery happen for a reason? Has the Native American genocide been evened out? Was that woman really supposed to be in the room where she was raped? We argue. He works hard to show me that he is right. I look at my laptop. My work is not getting done. I say “I understand your perspective and I disagree.” He reiterates his points and then says, “It was great talking to you, I’m gonna go catch my flight!”

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Then this brilliant thing happened. My new friend leaned forward as airport guy was about to walk away, and he said, “Dude, you missed an opportunity. You had an expert in theology and trauma sitting in front of you. You say you’re interested in these things but you didn’t ask her a single question. You didn’t try to learn anything at all from her. You know she has advanced degrees and is published but you just tried to show her that you know more about her work than she does. You missed out. Big fail, man.”

I’m sure I didn’t remember that verbatim, but I think the quote is pretty close.

The guy got uncomfortable and tried to defend himself, but my new friend and I smiled and shook our heads. Nope, we weren’t having it. Then, the guy sat back down and asked me to “teach him” for 5 minutes before he went to board his plane. He was trying to make it right. I smiled and said no thank you, I didn’t want to be put on the spot or responsible for him missing his flight (which had been boarding for 15 minutes). My new friend added, “No, man, you gotta live with the consequences of your mistake. Time’s up.”

We each said a pleasant goodbye, waved, and the guy went off to his gate.

This was (for me, in this particular situation) an awesome experience of a man (my new friend) using his male privilege to call bs on another man’s (airport guy) entitlement and sexism in a way that redirected power and dignity, and honestly, needed emotional energy back to me. When he spoke up, my body relaxed. My new friend wasn’t the least bit concerned about hurting airport guy’s feelings or making him uncomfortable. He was concerned about interrupting men’s patterns of lowkey dominating women. I found his priorities startling and refreshing. They made the physical space I was in change. It went from hostile space to safe(er) space in the time it took to speak a sentence. The ease with which my new friend expressed his priorities signaled a long term, practiced commitment to not only holding them in his mind but to embodying them as well. I wish I encountered this more often. My new friend shouldn’t get accolades. I’m not writing this to praise him or put him in some kind of weird male savior position. His priorities should be normal and interrupting sexism should be mundane. But they’re not, so. Here we are.

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Menfolk, will you please make this happen more often? I could get by on half the energy it currently takes me to exist in the world if y’all would each take on one or two airport guys a month.

In earnest, though. I hope this might be a helpful example for those looking to build habits of supporting women and challenging sexism. This isn’t the only way to do it but it’s one way that worked today.”

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wynandcoetzee avatar
Withnail
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for you, New Friend for calling out Airport Guy on his sexism. I can't stand the "everything happens for a reason" thing. Sometimes s****y things happen to good people, for no rhyme or reason.

bpbperic avatar
Night Owl
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This. And sometimes good things happen to bad people. Some get away with far more than they should or deserve while others suffer though no fault of their own. Basically, life is full of coincidences (starting with the cards you've been dealt before you were even born); but it's only natural for a person to want to find some sense and some reason in things even when there is none, and also to want to find some simple reason they can comprehend when sometimes the reason is far too complex or there are several, often complicated, reasons

Load More Replies...
ssolopenkova avatar
Lomion
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once I was working at the conference with my colleague. He is more talkative and better with clients whilst I'm better in understanding and explayning our software features and advantages (I'm involved in work with development department though stationed in sales). So we work perfectly as a team. The client came to me and asked about whether he can speak with a manager about our software and I said yes, he is lucky to speak with the manager right now. He made a grimase and asked for "a real manager". My colleague step up, listened for his question then said "And now I'm going to ask an expert", he turned to me, repeated the question and paicienlty listened to the answer. This client gone literally redfaced and wanished quikly after that. I was so grateful for my collegue's help. It's not simple for women to work in the IT sphere.

c_price avatar
CP1986
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Airport guy comes across as an thoughtlessly arrogant person, but for me the anecdote didn't show any explicit signs of sexism and or entitlement. Just because he's behaving like a self-absorbed idiot, doesn't mean he was necessarily motivated by entitlement or sexism. How do we know he wasn't just the type of personality that would do exactly the same to any man from a similar background as his own? Don't forget those sort of people also exist.

lynnnoyes avatar
elfin
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Possible, but note that there was another expert, a man, sitting next to the woman and he did get explained to.

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mark-mckenzie_1 avatar
anarkzie
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not getting how this is sexist, maybe it's just the way I'm reading it and picturing it in my head but it reads like she was simply debating with some guy, whose views were based on his spiritual beliefs, now I don't agree with any of his batshit theories about energy but people who hold spiritual beliefs don't tend to drop them because they meet an expert in that field, someone that studies Physical Cosmology likely will still find him/herself debating theologists about the world being made in 7 days.

bpbperic avatar
Night Owl
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To me it looks it was more of a monologue than a debate (since he never even asked her anything except what her degrees are in so he didn't really care about her opinion or her reasoning) with her chiming in from time to time trying to challenge his opinion

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reneegauthier avatar
stuffedbear avatar
jamesbuchanan avatar
James Buchanan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really hate this "everything happens for a reason" rhetoric. although i don't believe in god ,if i did and god was really doing all of this then i would be questioning god's mental state and probably rethinking worshipping him

miriamemendelson avatar
Mimi M
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think that there is one truth when it comes to things like bad experiences and trauma. If she had something to say, she could have spoken up. It doesn't sound like he was mansplaining (which I actually really don't like), but rather that he was sharing his point of view and beliefs. She could have responded by acknowledging what he said, and then sharing her own point of view, and perhaps research, if it was relevant (though in this case it sounded more like they were talking about things that were subjective, like why bad things happen...). Might have made for a very stimulating discussion. Everyone has their communication style. Some people share and then want to hear the other person's response. Her travel companion speaking up for her and then shutting him down when he wanted to listen seemed needlessly negative. Sorry, I just don't relate to this. And I'm someone who will call someone out for 'mansplaining', but I just don't think this was a good example of that.

si-michelson avatar
Si
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely “mansplaining” is a social phenomenon. Some men have a nurtured sense of their own right to pontificate and pronounce and they find fertile ground with women. It’s no coincidence that most people in the talking & teaching professions like pastors, lawyers, journalists, commentators, pundits, critics, politicians, lecturers, psychiatrists, non-fiction writers are men. Nor that men invented male all-knowing Gods. Nor that in many places men prevent women from equally competing with them for powerful positions. And the man in the story suffers from the tendency too. However, its my observation that people who believe bad things happen for a reason are people who’ve had bad things happen to them, and it sounds to me that he was unwilling to debate it because it would upset his hard-won equilibrium. Not everyone you talk to in an airport is looking for a debate or to have their ideas corrected.

joanxxx_1 avatar
JoanXXX
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mansplaining is a horrible word that doesn't even exist, assigning a gender to a negative action. She didn't experience "Mansplaining" she experienced ignorance. If you use the term mansplaining unironically you are just as sexist as that man, the word is called ignorance, and it seems like you have a lot of it.

lukewest avatar
Luke West
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude a women womensplained to me the other day! By that, I mean she nagged at me. . . Just kidding, but seriously each gender does it, and I'm not saying, "boys will be boys", because that's STUPID. BUT we need to not focus on the the aspect of gender and more on the fact that some women can be like that, so can men. Certain features or actions are carried out by men, yes, but this doesn't make them worse. Women also have problems, so why are we focusing on one gender? Equality? Doesn't sound like that's the goal.

sophiawatson_1 avatar
Sophia Watson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mainly focusing on one gender, while not the best we can do, is still better than men getting much more than women. At least now, we are a little bit closer to full gender equality. If we focused on both genders after only focusing on men, and forcing women to the near bottom of the chain, men would continue to overpower women. Focusing on women gives women more of a chance at true equality. I know that I'll probably get a sh*t ton of downvotes for this but it's my opinion.

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josefin_1 avatar
Josefin Sigfalk
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do not understand what this has to do with gender... Maybe the goals of feminism, equality and tolerance, would be reached a little faster if we stopped focusing on gender so much. This person was being rude and missed an opportunity, why does it matter what his private parts look like? Maybe we should focus more on our words and actions, our empathy and love instead of what gender the person had that did something wrong.

reneegauthier avatar
swetaagrawal avatar
Sassy Feminist
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex used to think (very strongly) that all women who get raped secretly have rape fantasy and universe fulfills them. 🙄

pretatva avatar
pret atva
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this post needlessly turned a debate or rather one sided rant into a gender war. It really wasn't. The genders could have been swapped, same scenario would have happened. It has something to do with belief systems and not gender really.

caponee avatar
capone e
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, voicing your opinion is now "sexism". Personally, as someone with an MBA in the sciences, I have been around plenty of people in life with advanced degrees...who are as dimwitted as Steve Harvey at a beauty pageant. In other words, if the women didn't want to engage in a conversation, then fine. But if she did, then it was up to her to state her case clearly and concisely (that's how it works in academics) and support her points. It sounds like she simply wasn't able to do that during the conversation (and she admits it was a conversation). So, because she wasn't able to articulate herself, she cries "mansplaining" and "male privilege". How about taking responsibility for your own actions?

jonathanthornton avatar
Jonathan Thornton
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So essentially, man disagrees with you and doesn't automatically agree with an appeal to authority so he is therefore mansplaining. Makes sense...... I don't agree with his perspective, at all. But that doesn't mean I think he should have changed his mind just because an authority on "theology" which is an absurd thing to claim to be an authority on (knowing history of something doesn't mean you understand it, theological acumen can't really be measured as far as I'm concerned.), said she didn't agree. This is a prime example of a total non-story.

npope avatar
Nat Pope
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, I am sure glad that a woman would never ever simply tell you what she is thinking instead of asking what her partner in a conversation is thinking (where is that "roll the eyes" emoji when you need it?). No doubt the airport guy wasn't a good conversation partner, but to chalk this up to "mansplaining" is blatant sexism. The author of the article would do well to look at her own perception of the world before casting stones.

dannykrinkle avatar
Danny Krinkle
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good story, and good for the male friend for sticking up for the female, but this whole "mansplaning" thing is becoming a farce. This has absolutely nothing to do with gender. Plenty of women act like they know what the hell they are talking about, too. I've witnessed it firsthand. Can't we just applaud the positive of the story without resorting to using terms like "sexism" and "male privilege" when it it irrelevant?

kestern255 avatar
Kevin Stern
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This isn't mansplaining. I went to school for Religious Studies and history and I constantly run into situations like this, both with religious and non-religious people. Atheists are the biggest offenders. Even tho I'm a non-believer, I am constantly told I don't know what I'm talking about or that I am biased because I studied religion. Actually, the discussion is about religion, which makes me the qualified one to talk about it in this discussion. People rarely like what I have to say...those that do are generally academics from the same areas. Why do you think that is? Whether it is creationism, climate change deniers, or anti-vaxxers, uneducated people, both men and women, think they know more than experts because they read some book or watched a YouTube video. Sorry, but not every time a man explains something to a woman is sexist.

lynnnoyes avatar
elfin
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But he wasn't explaining anything to her. She already knew a lot more than him. He knew she was an expert in the field, but he didn't discuss anything with her. He just tried to impose his views over hers.

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justinrodriguez avatar
Justin Rodriguez
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F**k sexism, let's prioritize giving women their safer space for them

lornegreen1986 avatar
Whatevers not taken
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Missing the part where this is sexism like she stated. I agree guy was kind of a douche but was very nice in the whole story and this was coming from the author who wrote it. But no sexism from what I read.

brianberrodin avatar
Anthony Sarcone
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You must not have had a lot of experience with actual sexism and entitlement should in your life of you felt the need to post all that. It honestly sounds like you are the entitled and sexist one for putting this, albeit, moron in a box that he doesn’t necessarily belong in soley based on this exchange. People suck and men are people, but this is hardly a matter of male “domination”. If you are going to shame this simple person (see: “everything happens for a reason”) for being a sexist, then I’m gonna go ahead and compare you to Jussie Smolett. There are serious issues in our society where men oppress, abuse and assault women. Although “mansplaining” is rude and can certainly (and usually is) be motivated by sexism, this story does nothing to prove that it’s “mansplaining” and because of that, you are doing nothing for the feminist movement for waving this false flag. Honeslty, this is a nothing story. Please don’t rely with calling me a mansplainer - respond with logic/actual words.

leahhelbig avatar
Leah Helbig
Community Member
4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Please no sexism here just his beliefs and those shouldn't even be real degrees its all your opinion don't think to highly of yourself sweetheart your dont know the secret to the mysteries of thw universe no matter how many PhDs and degrees you have. PEOPLE CAN HAVE THEIR OWN OPINIONS AND IT DOESNT AUTOMATICALLY MAKE THEM WRONG AND YOU RIGHT WHEN THEY DON'T LINE UP WITH YOURS.

jovasrifa avatar
jovas rifa
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I agree with everything happens for a reason. Some reason are our choises that makes us get into traps, and the second is that our choises getting us out of other traps. We all here come to learn, the easy way or the hard way. The same as women have the coise to get drunk in a party and to be raped, the same choise has a man to talk to a drunk girl and being file for a raping case. The same choise a woman has to walk in a mine field freely as a man has, and not because he or she has the freedom to do it it meams that she or he should. Is our own reposability to learn, to survive and to heal. We are being brainwashed to leave everytging to the experts where the experts have their own lives to live, while beimg our responsability to learn the basics to be independent, and so be free, and so be reponsable for our choises

beejayw avatar
Ben Smith
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I’ll say it slowly so everyone can understand: mansplaining does not exist. It’s not based on gender. Some people suck, men and women, suckiness doesn’t discriminate. The term mansplaining, like flat earth and space is fake was invented on 4chan as a joke. Look it up.

sophiawatson_1 avatar
Sophia Watson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oi, mansplaining IS a thing. This article isn't a STRONG example of it but it is still there. Mansplain: (of a man) explain (something) to someone, typically a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing. To mansplain is for a man to explain something in a condescending or patronizing way. The guy that was arguing with the expert, chose to defend himself and try to prove he was better at her job that she herself was, without stopping to listen to her own side.

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gerard_vanderleun avatar
Gerard Van der Leun
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

It's always something when it comes to dealing with ditzy bitches.

sophiawatson_1 avatar
Sophia Watson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is a very inappropriate and sexist comment. Some people don't want to listen to your absolute b******t. So go spew at the f*****g mirror.

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wynandcoetzee avatar
Withnail
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for you, New Friend for calling out Airport Guy on his sexism. I can't stand the "everything happens for a reason" thing. Sometimes s****y things happen to good people, for no rhyme or reason.

bpbperic avatar
Night Owl
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This. And sometimes good things happen to bad people. Some get away with far more than they should or deserve while others suffer though no fault of their own. Basically, life is full of coincidences (starting with the cards you've been dealt before you were even born); but it's only natural for a person to want to find some sense and some reason in things even when there is none, and also to want to find some simple reason they can comprehend when sometimes the reason is far too complex or there are several, often complicated, reasons

Load More Replies...
ssolopenkova avatar
Lomion
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once I was working at the conference with my colleague. He is more talkative and better with clients whilst I'm better in understanding and explayning our software features and advantages (I'm involved in work with development department though stationed in sales). So we work perfectly as a team. The client came to me and asked about whether he can speak with a manager about our software and I said yes, he is lucky to speak with the manager right now. He made a grimase and asked for "a real manager". My colleague step up, listened for his question then said "And now I'm going to ask an expert", he turned to me, repeated the question and paicienlty listened to the answer. This client gone literally redfaced and wanished quikly after that. I was so grateful for my collegue's help. It's not simple for women to work in the IT sphere.

c_price avatar
CP1986
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Airport guy comes across as an thoughtlessly arrogant person, but for me the anecdote didn't show any explicit signs of sexism and or entitlement. Just because he's behaving like a self-absorbed idiot, doesn't mean he was necessarily motivated by entitlement or sexism. How do we know he wasn't just the type of personality that would do exactly the same to any man from a similar background as his own? Don't forget those sort of people also exist.

lynnnoyes avatar
elfin
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Possible, but note that there was another expert, a man, sitting next to the woman and he did get explained to.

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mark-mckenzie_1 avatar
anarkzie
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not getting how this is sexist, maybe it's just the way I'm reading it and picturing it in my head but it reads like she was simply debating with some guy, whose views were based on his spiritual beliefs, now I don't agree with any of his batshit theories about energy but people who hold spiritual beliefs don't tend to drop them because they meet an expert in that field, someone that studies Physical Cosmology likely will still find him/herself debating theologists about the world being made in 7 days.

bpbperic avatar
Night Owl
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To me it looks it was more of a monologue than a debate (since he never even asked her anything except what her degrees are in so he didn't really care about her opinion or her reasoning) with her chiming in from time to time trying to challenge his opinion

Load More Replies...
reneegauthier avatar
stuffedbear avatar
jamesbuchanan avatar
James Buchanan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really hate this "everything happens for a reason" rhetoric. although i don't believe in god ,if i did and god was really doing all of this then i would be questioning god's mental state and probably rethinking worshipping him

miriamemendelson avatar
Mimi M
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think that there is one truth when it comes to things like bad experiences and trauma. If she had something to say, she could have spoken up. It doesn't sound like he was mansplaining (which I actually really don't like), but rather that he was sharing his point of view and beliefs. She could have responded by acknowledging what he said, and then sharing her own point of view, and perhaps research, if it was relevant (though in this case it sounded more like they were talking about things that were subjective, like why bad things happen...). Might have made for a very stimulating discussion. Everyone has their communication style. Some people share and then want to hear the other person's response. Her travel companion speaking up for her and then shutting him down when he wanted to listen seemed needlessly negative. Sorry, I just don't relate to this. And I'm someone who will call someone out for 'mansplaining', but I just don't think this was a good example of that.

si-michelson avatar
Si
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely “mansplaining” is a social phenomenon. Some men have a nurtured sense of their own right to pontificate and pronounce and they find fertile ground with women. It’s no coincidence that most people in the talking & teaching professions like pastors, lawyers, journalists, commentators, pundits, critics, politicians, lecturers, psychiatrists, non-fiction writers are men. Nor that men invented male all-knowing Gods. Nor that in many places men prevent women from equally competing with them for powerful positions. And the man in the story suffers from the tendency too. However, its my observation that people who believe bad things happen for a reason are people who’ve had bad things happen to them, and it sounds to me that he was unwilling to debate it because it would upset his hard-won equilibrium. Not everyone you talk to in an airport is looking for a debate or to have their ideas corrected.

joanxxx_1 avatar
JoanXXX
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mansplaining is a horrible word that doesn't even exist, assigning a gender to a negative action. She didn't experience "Mansplaining" she experienced ignorance. If you use the term mansplaining unironically you are just as sexist as that man, the word is called ignorance, and it seems like you have a lot of it.

lukewest avatar
Luke West
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude a women womensplained to me the other day! By that, I mean she nagged at me. . . Just kidding, but seriously each gender does it, and I'm not saying, "boys will be boys", because that's STUPID. BUT we need to not focus on the the aspect of gender and more on the fact that some women can be like that, so can men. Certain features or actions are carried out by men, yes, but this doesn't make them worse. Women also have problems, so why are we focusing on one gender? Equality? Doesn't sound like that's the goal.

sophiawatson_1 avatar
Sophia Watson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mainly focusing on one gender, while not the best we can do, is still better than men getting much more than women. At least now, we are a little bit closer to full gender equality. If we focused on both genders after only focusing on men, and forcing women to the near bottom of the chain, men would continue to overpower women. Focusing on women gives women more of a chance at true equality. I know that I'll probably get a sh*t ton of downvotes for this but it's my opinion.

Load More Replies...
josefin_1 avatar
Josefin Sigfalk
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do not understand what this has to do with gender... Maybe the goals of feminism, equality and tolerance, would be reached a little faster if we stopped focusing on gender so much. This person was being rude and missed an opportunity, why does it matter what his private parts look like? Maybe we should focus more on our words and actions, our empathy and love instead of what gender the person had that did something wrong.

reneegauthier avatar
swetaagrawal avatar
Sassy Feminist
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex used to think (very strongly) that all women who get raped secretly have rape fantasy and universe fulfills them. 🙄

pretatva avatar
pret atva
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this post needlessly turned a debate or rather one sided rant into a gender war. It really wasn't. The genders could have been swapped, same scenario would have happened. It has something to do with belief systems and not gender really.

caponee avatar
capone e
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, voicing your opinion is now "sexism". Personally, as someone with an MBA in the sciences, I have been around plenty of people in life with advanced degrees...who are as dimwitted as Steve Harvey at a beauty pageant. In other words, if the women didn't want to engage in a conversation, then fine. But if she did, then it was up to her to state her case clearly and concisely (that's how it works in academics) and support her points. It sounds like she simply wasn't able to do that during the conversation (and she admits it was a conversation). So, because she wasn't able to articulate herself, she cries "mansplaining" and "male privilege". How about taking responsibility for your own actions?

jonathanthornton avatar
Jonathan Thornton
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So essentially, man disagrees with you and doesn't automatically agree with an appeal to authority so he is therefore mansplaining. Makes sense...... I don't agree with his perspective, at all. But that doesn't mean I think he should have changed his mind just because an authority on "theology" which is an absurd thing to claim to be an authority on (knowing history of something doesn't mean you understand it, theological acumen can't really be measured as far as I'm concerned.), said she didn't agree. This is a prime example of a total non-story.

npope avatar
Nat Pope
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, I am sure glad that a woman would never ever simply tell you what she is thinking instead of asking what her partner in a conversation is thinking (where is that "roll the eyes" emoji when you need it?). No doubt the airport guy wasn't a good conversation partner, but to chalk this up to "mansplaining" is blatant sexism. The author of the article would do well to look at her own perception of the world before casting stones.

dannykrinkle avatar
Danny Krinkle
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good story, and good for the male friend for sticking up for the female, but this whole "mansplaning" thing is becoming a farce. This has absolutely nothing to do with gender. Plenty of women act like they know what the hell they are talking about, too. I've witnessed it firsthand. Can't we just applaud the positive of the story without resorting to using terms like "sexism" and "male privilege" when it it irrelevant?

kestern255 avatar
Kevin Stern
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This isn't mansplaining. I went to school for Religious Studies and history and I constantly run into situations like this, both with religious and non-religious people. Atheists are the biggest offenders. Even tho I'm a non-believer, I am constantly told I don't know what I'm talking about or that I am biased because I studied religion. Actually, the discussion is about religion, which makes me the qualified one to talk about it in this discussion. People rarely like what I have to say...those that do are generally academics from the same areas. Why do you think that is? Whether it is creationism, climate change deniers, or anti-vaxxers, uneducated people, both men and women, think they know more than experts because they read some book or watched a YouTube video. Sorry, but not every time a man explains something to a woman is sexist.

lynnnoyes avatar
elfin
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But he wasn't explaining anything to her. She already knew a lot more than him. He knew she was an expert in the field, but he didn't discuss anything with her. He just tried to impose his views over hers.

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justinrodriguez avatar
Justin Rodriguez
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F**k sexism, let's prioritize giving women their safer space for them

lornegreen1986 avatar
Whatevers not taken
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Missing the part where this is sexism like she stated. I agree guy was kind of a douche but was very nice in the whole story and this was coming from the author who wrote it. But no sexism from what I read.

brianberrodin avatar
Anthony Sarcone
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You must not have had a lot of experience with actual sexism and entitlement should in your life of you felt the need to post all that. It honestly sounds like you are the entitled and sexist one for putting this, albeit, moron in a box that he doesn’t necessarily belong in soley based on this exchange. People suck and men are people, but this is hardly a matter of male “domination”. If you are going to shame this simple person (see: “everything happens for a reason”) for being a sexist, then I’m gonna go ahead and compare you to Jussie Smolett. There are serious issues in our society where men oppress, abuse and assault women. Although “mansplaining” is rude and can certainly (and usually is) be motivated by sexism, this story does nothing to prove that it’s “mansplaining” and because of that, you are doing nothing for the feminist movement for waving this false flag. Honeslty, this is a nothing story. Please don’t rely with calling me a mansplainer - respond with logic/actual words.

leahhelbig avatar
Leah Helbig
Community Member
4 years ago

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Please no sexism here just his beliefs and those shouldn't even be real degrees its all your opinion don't think to highly of yourself sweetheart your dont know the secret to the mysteries of thw universe no matter how many PhDs and degrees you have. PEOPLE CAN HAVE THEIR OWN OPINIONS AND IT DOESNT AUTOMATICALLY MAKE THEM WRONG AND YOU RIGHT WHEN THEY DON'T LINE UP WITH YOURS.

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jovas rifa
Community Member
5 years ago

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I agree with everything happens for a reason. Some reason are our choises that makes us get into traps, and the second is that our choises getting us out of other traps. We all here come to learn, the easy way or the hard way. The same as women have the coise to get drunk in a party and to be raped, the same choise has a man to talk to a drunk girl and being file for a raping case. The same choise a woman has to walk in a mine field freely as a man has, and not because he or she has the freedom to do it it meams that she or he should. Is our own reposability to learn, to survive and to heal. We are being brainwashed to leave everytging to the experts where the experts have their own lives to live, while beimg our responsability to learn the basics to be independent, and so be free, and so be reponsable for our choises

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Ben Smith
Community Member
5 years ago

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I’ll say it slowly so everyone can understand: mansplaining does not exist. It’s not based on gender. Some people suck, men and women, suckiness doesn’t discriminate. The term mansplaining, like flat earth and space is fake was invented on 4chan as a joke. Look it up.

sophiawatson_1 avatar
Sophia Watson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oi, mansplaining IS a thing. This article isn't a STRONG example of it but it is still there. Mansplain: (of a man) explain (something) to someone, typically a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing. To mansplain is for a man to explain something in a condescending or patronizing way. The guy that was arguing with the expert, chose to defend himself and try to prove he was better at her job that she herself was, without stopping to listen to her own side.

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Gerard Van der Leun
Community Member
5 years ago

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It's always something when it comes to dealing with ditzy bitches.

sophiawatson_1 avatar
Sophia Watson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is a very inappropriate and sexist comment. Some people don't want to listen to your absolute b******t. So go spew at the f*****g mirror.

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