“I’m Feeling A Lot Of Pressure”: Woman Doesn’t Know How To Handle Christmas After BF’s Entitled Request

People have many different Christmas traditions. Some go to church on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. Others take a holiday to somewhere sunny and warm. Yet Christmas dinners remain a staple for most. In fact, 94% of Brits say they will have a traditional Christmas meal on December 25th.

This man wanted a Christmas that reflected his culture, but expected his partner to do all the hosting and cooking. Feeling like this was an unreasonable request, the woman asked for advice online: would she be the jerk in this situation if she refused, especially since she would be three months pregnant?

A man invited his family members for a culturally traditional Christmas dinner

Woman in a yellow apron hesitant to cook a foreign traditional Christmas spread in a modern kitchen setting.

Image credits: avistock / freepik (not the actual photo)

However, he expected his pregnant partner to prepare all the food when she didn’t even know the recipes

Woman reluctant to cook foreign traditional Christmas spread for distant family she barely knows in a new country.

Woman with a foreign traditional Christmas spread, reluctant to cook or participate in meal preparation.

Text on a screen describing a woman who doesn’t want to cook a foreign traditional Christmas spread for a cozy day.

Text excerpt showing a woman expressing reluctance to cook a foreign traditional Christmas spread with no English recipes available.

Woman with weary expression avoids cooking foreign traditional Christmas spread, feeling overwhelmed by holiday kitchen demands.

Woman looking stressed and frustrated, expressing she doesn’t want to cook a foreign traditional Christmas spread.

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Pregnant woman overwhelmed by cooking a foreign traditional Christmas spread with multiple dishes expected.

Text on white background about Christmas cooking, expressing frustration that woman doesn't want to cook traditional foreign Christmas spread.

Text on a white background reads a woman feeling pressure as others expect her to cook a foreign traditional Christmas spread.

Text excerpt about a woman who doesn’t want to cook a foreign traditional Christmas spread despite support for cultural meals.

Traditional Christmas spread with roasted chicken, vegetables, stuffing, and gravy, highlighting foreign holiday cuisine elements.

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Woman looks frustrated in kitchen, reluctant to cook foreign traditional Christmas spread with festive dishes around.

Text expressing frustration about having to cook a foreign traditional Christmas spread and feeling incompetent doing it.

Woman looking frustrated in kitchen, avoiding cooking a foreign traditional Christmas spread meal.

Woman looking frustrated in a kitchen, avoiding cooking a foreign traditional Christmas spread holiday meal.

Frustrated woman expressing she doesn’t want to cook foreign traditional Christmas spread while sitting in car with man.

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Woman feeling anxious about cooking foreign traditional Christmas spread, facing pressure to prepare a special holiday meal.

Woman expressing frustration about cooking foreign traditional Christmas spread, preferring to stick with familiar dishes.

Woman reluctant to cook foreign traditional Christmas spread with multiple dishes including meats, stew, and desserts.

Woman feeling overwhelmed and reluctant to cook a foreign traditional Christmas spread, causing tension during the holiday.

Woman looking frustrated in kitchen, hesitating to cook a foreign traditional Christmas spread for holiday guests.

Woman looking upset and reluctant to cook a foreign traditional Christmas spread, sitting back to back with a man indoors.

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Woman looks frustrated in a kitchen, avoiding cooking a foreign traditional Christmas spread meal.

Text showing a woman explains she hates cooking and doesn’t want to prepare a foreign traditional Christmas spread.

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Women usually do more preparation and cooking during the holiday season than men

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When you’re a kid, Christmas is a magical time. But you often don’t know the effort and time that go into planning it all. Presents, decorations, cookies, and the perfect Christmas dinner don’t just appear out of thin air. That’s all done by grown-ups, and there’s even some inequality among them.

In the UK, most of the festive work is done by women. A 2013 YouGov poll showed that married women and those who live with a partner are responsible for the majority of Christmas tasks in the household. Only one task was said to be done by men more often: washing the dishes. 51% of women said they do the Christmas cooking, while only 17% of men said the same.

Mothers usually find the entire holiday season difficult. Last year’s YouGov poll shows that the majority (62%) of moms say Christmas time is stressful. In comparison, only 44% of dads and 45% of women who do not have children also find the period stressful.

At this point, it seems that the words “Christmas” and “stress” always go together. According to a survey by the UK kitchen and bedroom retailer Betta Living, women spend an average of three hours in the kitchen preparing the meal. “Despite a joint effort in cleaning up and setting the table, [it] is still traditional for women to cook the Christmas dinner, and for the men to dish out,” Barry Rourke of Betta Living commented.

So, gender roles persist even where Christmas tasks are concerned. There’s nothing wrong with asking your partner to cook a Christmas spread if they’re better at it, but it’s better to discuss it first and not make arrangements behind their back.

Couples from different cultural backgrounds can create their own new family traditions

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In different cultures, Christmas time means different things. Some celebrate it, others don’t, and some may celebrate it slightly differently than in the Western world. In this day and age, multicultural couples aren’t a novelty. But when it comes to navigating the holidays, it can be hard to decide which partner gets the honors this year.

According to the 2021 Census, 5.7% of couples in the UK are in an inter-ethnic relationship. While that may present a headache once the holidays roll around, it’s also a great opportunity to honor both cultures. Couples therapist Brandon Liu suggests these three strategies for making compromises:

• Create a list of negotiables and non-negotiables. Some traditions might be more important than others, so let your partner know which ones are essential and which ones are not.
• Be open and curious. Respecting a partner’s culture is essential, and couples can show it by agreeing to incorporate the traditions that are foreign to them but native to their partners.
• Focus on the values and similarities. For example, honor both cultures by making a dish that represents both.

Couples can treat their cultural differences as the chance to create new traditions, too. Marriage and family therapist Daniel Dashnaw writes that, according to research, couples who co-create new holiday traditions report better relationship satisfaction.

“Blending traditions isn’t just about compromise; it’s about co-creating new rituals that reflect your shared life as a couple,” Dashnaw reiterates.

Commenters urged the woman to seriously rethink her relationship: “You might have made a mistake with this man”

User frustrated about cooking foreign traditional Christmas spread for guests wanting home country dishes.

Woman looking displeased while surrounded by a foreign traditional Christmas spread she doesn’t want to cook.

Woman looking frustrated in a kitchen, avoiding cooking a traditional foreign Christmas spread meal.

Woman doesn’t want to cook foreign traditional Christmas spread, expressing frustration while others discuss holiday meal plans.

Text message on phone screen with conversation about setting boundaries before buying a house together, woman doesn’t want cook.

Text excerpt about a woman who doesn’t want to cook a foreign traditional Christmas spread, discussing fairness in holiday cooking roles.

Woman avoids cooking foreign traditional Christmas spread, standing with crossed arms in a modern kitchen setting.

Woman refuses to cook traditional Christmas spread, expressing frustration over holiday hosting and teamwork responsibilities.

Text post with user cannynotsay expressing support for a woman who doesn’t want to cook a foreign traditional Christmas spread.

Text message discussing a woman who doesn’t want to cook a foreign traditional Christmas spread due to controlling behavior.

Woman refuses to cook unfamiliar foreign traditional Christmas spread, preferring familiar holiday dishes instead.

Woman looking frustrated and reluctant to cook a foreign traditional Christmas spread in a festive kitchen setting.

Commenter advising pregnant woman to insist partner cooks, highlighting challenges of expecting woman to cook during pregnancy or with newborn.

Woman looks uninterested while preparing a foreign traditional Christmas spread with festive dishes on the table.

Woman cooking in a kitchen, tasting food from a pan, showing reluctance toward foreign traditional Christmas spread.

Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / freepik (not the actual photo)

In the end, the couple reached a compromise

Text update about woman who doesn’t want to cook a foreign traditional Christmas spread, choosing curry instead for comfort.

Image credits: KatieBenoiteee

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