Baby Vomits On A £1,800 Top, Mom Refuses To Pay For It, People Are Divided Over Who’s Right
You can’t blame babies for being babies. First of all, they’re babies and really don’t know what they’re doing yet. Second of all, they’re the epitome of cuteness, and you shouldn’t get mad at anyone so cute that it restores your faith in humanity. And lastly, any adults who blame babies for something they should have seen coming should really look at themselves in the mirror: maybe, just maybe, it’s not the baby’s fault something bad happened.
Case in point, one new mom shared how her cousin had an incredibly strange reaction after interacting with her newborn. The mom explained how, 4 weeks after giving birth, she’d invited her nearest and dearest to her ‘baby ceremony,’ hoping to introduce her daughter to everyone.
However, her baby threw up all over her cousin’s expensive blouse, completely ruining it. The mature thing to do would have been to have a good laugh about it and chuckle about how, yup, stuff like that happens, and this will make for a great story to tell. Instead, the woman later demanded to be reimbursed for the cost of her clothing. The cost? A jaw-dropping £1,800 (~$2,038). Scroll down for the full story and how the internet reacted after reading it. What are your own thoughts, dear Pandas? Let us know what you think about the entire situation.
Babies do what babies do: sometimes, they spit up and throw up
Image credits: Kristina Paukshtite (not the actual photo)
A new mom shared how her cousin reacted after the newborn threw up all over her designer clothes
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
Image credits: isaoas
Naturally, the mom said ‘no,’ like most people probably would have. She wasn’t going to pay a huge amount of money to make up for something completely natural that her baby did. What’s more, this was in no way the family’s fault, either. The cousin chose to dress up all fancy in order to meet the baby.
“At the end of the day, we all know what babies can be like. She took a risk wearing something so expensive knowing a baby was nearby and unfortunately it backfired. I feel bad for her but it was not my fault,” the author of the post, redditor u/isaoas, shared.
However, she still had some doubts about whether what she did was, in fact, right or wrong. So she turned to the always-helpful AITA online community to hear their verdict and opinions. Like you probably could have expected, the AITA crowd was in all-out support of the new mom.
One redditor put it very well that the mom shouldn’t have been expected to act as the protector of her cousin’s wardrobe. That’d just be silly. If you dress up nicely and hold the baby of your own free will, you can’t blame anyone but yourself if it does what babies do. It could have happened to anyone. And it’s not like the baby can tell designer clothes from regular ones (though the Universe, always a fan of irony, seems to know the difference very well).
Healthy babies spit up very often. During the first three months of their lives, around half of all babies do this. The difference between spitting up and vomiting is the force with which this happens. Spitting is sometimes accompanied by a burp. Vomiting, meanwhile, is forceful and shoots out rather than dribbles from the baby’s mouth.
Mayo Clinic notes that most babies stop spitting up by the time they’re 12 months old. There are some things that parents and loved ones can do to help reduce the amount of spitting up the baby does. For one, you should feed the baby in a more upright position and avoid actively playing with them or swinging them for the next half an hour.
What’s more, you should avoid overfeeding them. Take the time to burp your baby. Meanwhile, put your baby to sleep on its back: avoid placing your baby to sleep on its tummy. Do all of this and the choices of your newborn throwing up its lunch over your relative’s designer clothing decreases drastically! Of course, they could also, you know, wear something less fancy and focus on the baby and mom, not on showing off how utterly stylish and rich they are.
While most internet users were firmly in the OP’s corner, others had a very different opinion about the events
I find the YTAs amusing - "It's been a whole month, you should have taught your kid to recognize name brands and suppress bodily functions by now, clearly you are a negligent parent!" 🙄😂
“OH MY GOD. Your INFANT still does normal baby things? You’re such an ENTITLED BEYOTCH. #Cancelled #MommyMonday #Entitlement #SlayyyQueen!!!! Lmao sorry I couldn’t help myself xD
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A one month old baby eats breastmilk or formula, they not so much vomit as they spit up curdled milk. It’s not the same at all as adult vomit. How did that ruin a blouse beyond repair?
Right? I am calling BS on this too. Their vomit is not that acidic to ruin a shirt and since at a month old they only eat milk, it does not colour either... source: my two kids, several nieces and nephew. Aaaaall barfed on me, even on nice clothes, I got every stain out...
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I find it more unsettling that an adult is crying because her top got dirty!!!!
Her salty tears probably stained the shirt even more
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I don’t get the people talking about ‘the kid’s actions”; it’s a newborn, the kid didn’t do any actions, she got picked up and spit up involuntarily, she didn’t decide to throw up on the blouse, she didn’t jump up into the woman’s arms, the mother did not hold the baby over her like a vomit pistol... If I pick up or accept to hold a baby and it kicks me, pees on me or throws up on me, that’s my problem to deal with, *I* decided to hold the baby.
People who are saying YTA clearly don’t have kids and have no clue what they are talking about. That much is obvious cause no logical person would come to that conclusion if they did.
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This is astonishing and makes me lose faith in the whole aita thing! $1800 for a shirt? And holding a baby in it without a spill cloth? Then blaming the mother? She spends that much on shirts, she's responsible for looking after them. Kids trashing stuff is a different ball game to newborns spilling. Ffs
You mean to say you HAD faith in the AITA thing? It's all just attention grabbing nonsense, all all just the one side of the story.
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Going out and crying all night in the car signals more than just a blouse in this issue. Unless the baby had acid vomit that ate the blouse away, someone out there knows how to clean a blouse. That cleaning will be less than the amount paid for the blouse.
Babies are prone to sudden unpredictable eruptions from all orifices, much like volcanoes. I mean to say there is always risk if you decide to get close and personal with either and you know that beforehand.
It s been this way litteraly s8nxe the dawn of time. If an adult doesnt know that a baby can puke they have lived a sheltered life. Baby did her a favor. Lol
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To those who feel OP’s the TA, I can kind of understand the perspective as the parent should own up if the child damages any property but in this case, the child is a literal baby. Babies don’t know anything so until the baby grows up a little, some sacrifices unfortunately have to be made
And people should know already that they take a risk when they hold a baby. And honestly, I don't understand why it is necessary to wear designer clothing for a family gathering. It doesn't sound like the rest of the family dresses like that so it just comes off as pretentious.
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You hold a baby, you’re accepting the fact that you may be thrown up on at any moment. Period. And if you afford an £1800 top, then you can afford to lose an £1800 top.
With the way she reacted I'm thinking she really can't afford a £1800 top. Freaking out like that and asking for recompense makes me think her finances are very tight, if not over drawn, because she's spending an outrageous amount of money on her clothes. I mean, £1800? What is that top made out and who made it? Maybe she got it for a specific reasons and had just purchased it recently so she was overly excited to wear it and it that impaired her judgement in deciding to hold the baby. I know people have a tough time turning down their chance to hold the baby when the baby is getting passed around. I imagine it's worse for women in that regard.
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Wow I can't believe the amount of people who are comparing it to a kid breaking something the baby is a new born it wasn't on purpose babies just donut . And seriously running away and crying in the car obviously the cousin has issues if she's having a tantrum as a grown up .
Apart from owning a blouse for 1800 bucks and being unaware of babies sometimes leaking on both ends - isn't anybody a bit worried about the "spent the rest of the evening crying in her car" part? What is wrong with her, apart from a soiled blouse?
We are talking about mess from a four-week-old baby here, not an older child mishandling or putting mucky hands on something when they wouldn't have known better. (Even if it was an older child, if a kid is sick they can't always make to a bathroom or suitable container before they vomit, some mess can be an unavoidable accident.) The parents can't be responsible for their baby's natural bodily reaction - though if the baby had just been fed or was otherwise regularly spitting up a verbal warning and offer of baby muslin/towels should have been given to the guests. Given Alice's reaction and feelings of humiliation, it's a good thing the mess didn't come from the other end.
Omg I'm dying from the YTA commenters who don't recognize the difference between an 8 year old throwing a ball and breaking a vase and a newborn who spit up on an obscenely expensive blouse. Let me say it loud and clear so everyone in the back can hear - SHE IS NOT THE AH! Y'all are so delusional it's hysterical.
NTA. If Alice wears all these expensive clothes she claims she can afford she should know there's going to be a chance they may get dirty. If she spilled a drink on her clothing at a restaurant would she demand the restaurant pay for the price of the clothes? All this getting upset, crying, staying in the car, making a big scene, refusing the offer of dry cleaning is just shows she took an opportunistic time to try to swindle money off of her cousin. Her cousin just had a baby and likely can't afford to spend 1800 towards her cousin. Since Alice is a banker she should understand this.
An $1800 blouse? Think of how many nice blouses that would buy. I'd have puked on her, too. For adults who aren't sponging off of their parent that would be a month's rent.
NTA: Someone knows they gonna hold a newborn and expects Not to be vomited on? The YTA people are out of mind.
There is nothing more entitled than wearing something other people can't afford to wear themselves, taking stupid risks while wearing it, and then expecting the other to be responsible. And frankly, I suspect what a couple other people have suggested: that the blouse isn't ruined at all, but no longer "pure" in the cousin's mind.
Well, babies are gross like that. so before handling one, make sure you wear something you wouldn't be too sad to lose. If you don't have such clothes -opt out of holding a baby. Also, I don't really believe the blouse could be completely ruined after the baby throwing up on it once.
How can someone think the mother is wrong? My baby almost never vomited, but her cousin did. Everyone did put something over their shoulder when holding him. But that was a learning curve. In the first few weeks we forgot that all the time. And it was never an issue. 4 week old babys cannot smile, they cannot see clearly, they are not capable of doing anything on purpose.
How can anyone buy the part where the blouse is ruined? When she was 3months old my daughter vomit on my silk blouse at a wedding. Got it to a professionnal cleaner and it was perfect after their magic trick. Someone feels humiliate and wants revenge.
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A: "Baby ceremonies" seems kind of silly. B: If invited to one, wear proper clothing. Anyone who's made it to being a banker should have the brains to know you don't hold babies wearing designer blouses. It's just common sense. C: Dr cleaning certainly will remove baby milk stains.
As for A, I kind of understand it. With a big family/friend circle your first few weeks would be a revolving door, every five minutes someone popping by to see the new baby, taking up your time while you have a lot to do as a new parent, especially a first timer. But if you give one day to get it over with at once, you might have some peace for a while.
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If you're wearing a $1800 top in a regular middle class enviro you better warn everybody around you whenever there are drinks/ kids/ babies around (Maybe you can leva the price tag : p ). If you don't, and it gets ruined, don't loose face asking for your money; you should very well afford it, since you use it so casually.
She chose to hold the baby in designer clothes so it's on her. The one comment said that some people may not know what babies are like but then thats a lack of general knowledge on her part and she cant hold others accountable for experiences she has never had.
NTA obviously. Let your cousin simmer in her own ridiculousness and learn some common sense. Im still in disbelief that she thought it was cool to ask for 1800$ from a new mom for a shirt. It’s like, Sure Alice here’s 1800$ go buy yourself something designer. /s 🙄
NTA OP. How could someone sit in a car for hours covered in baby vomit? At least stop in the bathroom and wash off first!
Someone loaned her a blouse, but apparently it didn't fit right. So I don't think she sat in the car for hours covered in vomit. But I guess she was also upset because she didn't like the blouse that was loaned to her.
Load More Replies... I can't imagine a $1,800 blouse, someone had to sex this story up with an extra 0. But pretending the story factual, who spends $180 on a shirt let alone $1,800? And then who wears said shirt to a baby "shower" and why? To upstage the baby? To me there seems to be a whole lotta mental going on.
It’s an infant, Id say YTA if the kid was old enough to know better. You can tell a toddler not to mess with something and it’s the owners responsibility to put it away. The kid is a baby, it doesn’t know better
So banker babe still lives with her parents? Between that and expensive clothes, that woman has no sense of reality. Mom is not the problem. Yes, she should offer to clean the shirt . . . maybe banker babe should only play with kids her own age.
Anyone who wears an £1800 top to hold a baby, and doesn't use a spit cloth is an a*****e. Offer to pay for the top to be drycleaned, and leave it at that.
why would alice have a spit cloth if she's not a mother? it's the mom's responsibility to offer one & she didn't. if alice doesn't have any experience with babies, she probably didn't think to ask for one if nobody else was using one; she couldn't have known it would've been necessary in exactly two seconds if nobody else had any issues without one. the mom already knew alice always wears expensive clothes, so in my opinion it's on her to take preventative measures & offer a spit cloth to alice. the mom & all the nta people keep acting like it was a given that the baby was gonna puke & that alice should've known better, but if the mom *already* knew better as she had experience, why didn't *she* offer a spit cloth?? sorry, the logic doesn't follow. ESH, alice for expecting a new mom to pay that much over a minor mishap, & the mom for not doing anything if she knows alice always wears expensive clothes but wants to hold a baby.
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ESH-OP should at the least offer to get it dry cleaned not just refuse to do anything.As Alice really should've known better than to wear something super expensive to hold a baby which do things like that.
I agree that offering to dry clean it would be the nice thing to do. As someone that has difficulty with absolutes not really being absolute, though, I probably wouldn't have thought that the "completely ruined" blouse could be saved by dry cleaning and wouldn't bring it up.
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Anyone who spends 1800 pounds (about $2000 American) on a blouse deserves to be vomited on, whether a baby's around or not.
Well... NTA. All my clothes are designer also and I spend on my wardrobe, it's a high priority. So after something has been debuted, reworn, pulled out of the bottom of my luggage, then layered for a dinner out, then it's ready for babies, glamping, and a nicer night at home. The friend may as well ask the sun to pay for bleaching the softtop of her convertible. Her choice, to me, and nothing at all is expected except intervention and an offer of a clean top to wear.
Wow... NTA. It's a newborn. She chose to wear what she did and hold the baby... and attend! Those were her choices. I would offer dry cleaning perhaps, but she needs a reality check. Everyone saying YTA needs a reality check as well... just don't go! Babies spit up and poop and cry! That's 100% different than allowing a child to damage property or not supervising them!!!
YTA for forcing your cousin to come to your party, YTA for forcing your cousin to pickup your kid and you're definitely TA for forcing your cousin to wear expensive clothes while picking up your baby. FFS ... warm water, soap, done. Or dry cleaning.
When my son was a baby and let other people hold him, we have them a muslin cloth to put over their shoulder in case he puked.
I imagined the baby immediately projectile vomitting while being handed over - right in the face and down the front of the blouse. Ask me how I know this scenario...
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ESH. Alice shouldn’t have worn such an expensive shirt to meet a baby and OP should have offered to get it dry cleaned.
It seems OP did at least enquire about the possibility of dry-cleaning.
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NTA. I was wearing a brand new dress I bought at a boutique to a wedding reception where my cousin brought her 6mos old briefly to meet everyone. I was holding heron my hip and she was fine until she wasn't. All down the front of the skirt part of my dress. Luckily I was able to hold her away and most went on the ground. We laughed. It's a baby. We went to the bathroom and cleaned us both up. I wouldn't have even dreamed of asking the mom to pay the dry cleaning. I took the risk and it's still a funny story.
Love how this AITA post is THREE YEARS old btw. Is that normal here or-
There's no fucken way baby puke ruined her shirt unless it was made out of like... cotton candy & just dissolved from moisture. Like.... cmon. Have it cleaned professionally. How is that any different than spilling milk or coffee on yourself! What happens if you spill a drink or salad dressing on your blouse? You throw it out? ESH.
How was her top completelly ruined? Surely it cannot be that bad, if you soak it in water before stain dries up, it could be cleaned. I don't think that some spit up baby formula can make stains that bad. NTA, as OP said, best thing she coud do is to pay for dry cleaning. Her cousin should think twice before wearing overpriced clothes around babies.
Offer to pay for it to be drycleaned. If she says it can't be then she's lying, how else would she wash it for the next wear. Baby vomit is extremely unlikely to "ruin" anything and is easily removable.
Kid goes into your bag and throws your phone across the room breaking it, yes parent replaces it. Baby vomits over excessively expensive top * that was deemed suitable to hold newborn... Out of luck. *by that i mean obviously too expensive to easily be replaced by the owner*
If the cousin cries because her top got ruined and is embarrassed because she had to wear something other than expensive designer shirts, then she has a seriously bad identity issue. She puts too much stock in her appearance and not enough in her experiences. I would say the mother should pay to have the shirt dry cleaned, but the cousin also needs to learn a lesson in that there are certain situations in which going grunge or refraining from wearing expensive clothes may be appropriate.
I keep seeing people saying “the action of the kid” in saying poster is TA… but this is a BABY, who has no control over bodily functions. It’s not like the kid is older and willfully destroying things while the mum does nothing…
Even the ones suggesting she pay for dry cleaning...like what? No one (seemingly) forced her to hold a baby. Whatever you bring to someone's home, knowing they have children under about 4 (when they can more reliably expected to respect people's belongings), is your problem. Same goes if you know they have a puppy or kitten.
Babies cry, pee, poop, and spit up. Why tf would you wear such expensive clothing to visit a newborn? Was the blouse disposable? Because there's no way it was "ruined." It could have been dry cleaned, which OP should pay for. But asking the parents of a newborn to fork out for a replacement designer blouse that the cousin can easily afford to replace—since her parents cover all her living expenses—is ridiculous.
B******t. No way is it "completely ruined" WHY wear something so expensive going to meet a newborn if not to show off, tell her to go whistle. She sounds like a complete twat
I mean dry-cleaning isn't a magical solve it all. I have a perfectly normal Tom Tailor jeans coat that has a strictly no dry-cleaning label on it. Brushed by a car, I had a massive oil stain on it. Took it to have it professionally cleaned and the chemicals have completely faded the colour. 😭 Strictly speaking, it's not unwearable but after just one dry-cleaning cycle, it looks like I've had it for at least two years. It was brand new when the mishap happened, so I was a bit sad.
So how do clean it then? Clothes that cant be washed......🤔....
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Wow BP are really digging through the past for posts. This AITA is from 3 years ago!!
And that's reason #487 why I don't go anywhere near babies, much less holding them. Gimme a kitty/puppy/baby crocodile any day!
Not sure about baby crocodiles, but kittens and puppies do plenty of vomiting. And they don't stop when they grow up!
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I would have used my or the babys insurance, both covers things kids can cause by accident.
What kind of insurance? I have never heard of this sort of thing?
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I used to work in a dry cleaners. If there were bodily fluids of any kind, we refused it.
Why would you refuse it? I get some stuff could be super gross...
Load More Replies... I googled what 1800 pounds is in America and it’s about $2286.72. This girl whom is an adult is living with her parents wearing shirts over $2000?! Here in America, it’s not uncommon for people to help their adult children out but not so they can walk around wearing thousands of dollars worth of clothes. And she’s insane wanting to hold a baby, whom can vomit/poop/pee etc at any moment while wearing very nice clothes. The parents should have told her what could happen. You just had a baby. You’re exhausted. NTA
I'm not a fan of babies, so if I'm at a party where there's a baby, I make sure to keep a glass of water in my hand. I don't offer to hold the kid, but I smile and tell the parents it's such a cute baby. Why anyone would wear a ridiculously expensive item to this gathering is mind boggling.
I learnt to not wear my nicer stuff around my friends kids coz babies and toddlers are going to cover you in well everything. I can't tell you how many times I've been vomited on I just learnt to laugh about it
If you do not want baby chuck on you, never ask to hold it, or even hold it IF you are asked
I figured this is one of 2 things: 1) she was planning on returning the blouse because she really can't afford it but wanted to show off to everyone because she's super insecure! 2) seeing how happy OP was with her baby made her realise that none of her superficial possessions will ever bring her that kind of joy and she wonders if she will feel that way kind of happiness herself because she's super insecure Moral of the story: she's super insecure
The comments that say the mother is totally wrong or partially wrong are ridiculous. Especially the comments who say that the mother would be responsible if the baby broke something. This incident happened in the parent's home, NOT in a store! Anyway, it's the cousin's fault for wearing such an expensive blouse. She should have known better.
NTA. Cousin Alice needs to grow up and realize that the whole world doesn't revolve around her...
I want to take a new perspective on this. Why are we having a baby ceremony and letting everyone hold her? Especially at a time like this. When I had all my babies, I told people they could come when I was settled at home. Never as a group Too many people at once will overwhelm the poor child. I'd throw up too if a bunch of strangers passed me around like a football.
Someone spent £1800 to find out babies vomit all the time. How can someone so foolish have such a clothing budget? How can you spend an amount of money that's worth getting upset over for a blouse?
So if cousin in story was walking down the street in her overpriced fancy clothes and a car splashes dirty water/slush on her does she sue the driver? Suddenly starts raining and she gets water spots on her expensive leather/silk does she sue the weather forecaster? Or God? ..If you can afford expensive clothes and an Accident happens that's on you. If someone threw red wine at her then sue. Intentional vs Accidental. Also says she lives with parents but what if she had her own place and had people over and oops an accident happened that's the risk you take. Otherwise wrap yourself in a bubble and never go out. And Yes the Crying In the Car all night...Immature much? Everyone who's down on the mom with the baby, maybe you should be down on the cousins parents for enabling their daughter by letting her still live at home so she can afford to buy this stuff and they didn't educate her about how to behave in public and what to expect from a newborn? Flip the script.
i think offering to pay for cleaning would be correct. i don't see how it was "ruined" by some newborn spit up. maybe that was the cheapest blouse the lady owned. and OP should have offered a burp cloth to everyone who held the baby.
What is it made of, tissue paper? If I'm spending £1800 on a top, it better be made of carbon nano tubes.
This weekend just gone, my in-laws asked if I can have a look at their oven in the near future. It needed a good clean anyway but apparently the door seal had come off. I normally give their oven a good clean for them twice a year because they are not mobile enough to do it. I looked at the seal, it needed to be replaced. I said 'Might as well get it dealt with now'. Nipped down to the DIY store, got a new seal, cleaned the oven and replaced the seal. I was wearing one of my better (White) T-shirts and it got ruined. My point is, I agreed to do something that I knew carried a risk of getting grubby, I could hardly complain to them that my top was ruined due to my lack of preparation. It was 100% my fault.
Some of these AITAs read more like people looking to just tell a story, maybe humblebrag a bit at how virtuous they actually are. Of course the other other person is wrong. Obviously wrong. Then you read a few of the responses where someone is showing empathy towards the "wronged" party. "I don't know, you knew this person was a complete narcissist when you were compelled to invite her, so you are kinda TA..."
Wait a minute, a single puke so easily ruins a blouse that costs 1800 £? That doesn't sound like high quality to me... Poor Alice was ripped off!
If you pick up a baby, there is a risk they will throw up on you. If you don't want that to happen, don't pick up the baby. It's not the same as the baby throwing up in an Uber. An Uber driver is providing a service and the baby is being brought into that environment. Coming into the babies environment and holding them is entirely at your own peril.
Good have liability insurance. Also my blouses cost 20€ and I don't like to hold babies. One problem less.
Could she help out a little bit? Sure. But asking for $1800 for something that either person could have prevented is ridiculous. If it was a $50 shirt I doubt she would have said no if the question was asked nicely enough.
I thought everyone has a spit up cloth on their shoulder at all times when holding a baby...or was that just our family? My sister had a pretty pukey kid second time around but we already did that with her 1st. Not sure if it was something my mom did and showed my sister or just her own idea. It saved a multitude of blouses. I also do not at all but that a month old baby spit up ruined an 1800 pound blouse. It's curdled milk at that age and nothing else b/c they don't eat any food at all yet, just (breast)milk or formula. That will come out of a silk blouse. Cousin is filled with drama and I just don't believe it. WTF spends that much on clothes and then wears it holding a baby? I became an aunt at 17 and had no experience with kids but I knew babies were messy AF.
The mother shouldn't have offered to pay to have it dry cleaned. Babies throw up - don't go near one if you don't want vomit on you.
This reddit post is over 3 years old the kids a toddler now, such a waste of time and energy even reading this ....
As someone who is childless and siblingfree, I will say that I had NO idea how much babies throw up and didn't know about the infamous "Diaper Blowouts" until I had to babysit my younger cousins, so it's NOT common knowledge, but I also feel like people generally know better than to wear expensive clothes around children younger than like 10 or 11. I still feel like the mom should have warned her cousin, though, just in case.
I'd would think that if Mum REFUSED to allow the woman to hold the baby, she'd be the ah. No one is entitled to hold a baby at an event and at 1 month old, as a parent, I would limit how many people hold the child. I would tell the Aunt that when you point your finger at someone, there are 3 pointing back at you. So she was negligent in 'raising' or warning the daughter in regards to what to expect while holding the baby. Prior to leaving their home, 'shoulda woulda coulda' told the clueless wit to either wear a different shirt or not hold the baby. If she was going to hold the baby, to do so with the understanding that she's on the 'hook' for the mishap as the baby (or mother) is not.
I most likely will be downvoted, but here we go. We all know how these baby meet and greet goes. In some families (it was in mine), no one asked IF you wanted to hold the baby. They just shoves the baby into your arms and that's all. Go practice for being a future mom (or some bitter jokes in these lines). That have happened to me several times. I never wanted to hold a baby, but here we go, someone just pass him/her to your arms and backs off. If that was the case and the baby ruins my blouse, I would be furious to say the least.
Thankfully the people in the comments here understand babies, with is wrong with reddit, it's a baby op is nta. 1800 blouse to a baby shower, that's insane, I have wealthy women in my family as well they either do not hold the baby or put a barrier between them and the baby...they also have money and class so don't expect reimbursement, that would be more embarrassing then a messed shirt...thought she could afford her lifestyle....guess nit and wants you to buy her a new shirt that could be cleaned...it's only baby vomit, I have 3 kids, they do bit stain or ruin clothes, not with vomit, poop or peep...I did get pink eye once from baby drool though...my fault babies mouth was above my head and I looked up. Easy nta.
That this person went through SO many people would be cause for a giant single finger salute! Be an adult and call the person, have an adult conversation and try to find a resolution. I wouldn't be paying anything beyond a nominal dry cleaning bill, because the rest is on owner for wearing something that can't be cleaned while intending on holding an infant.
I believe the responsibility comes with knowledge. Thus whoever was more informed about the high probability of the incident to happen, and didn’t inform/warn others (maybe assuming they should know by default) should be hold accountable. With that said, I hope both parties of the argument will find enough empathy and respect towards each other to put aside their judgements and resolve the issue on the common sense grounds. P.s. One has babies, other career, third buys expensive guitars and so on… it’s not up to anyone to decide or judge what should make others happy and fulfilled. Isn’t the entire modern philosophy about this? :)
Sue her parents. They have neglected her. She thinks a baby burp can be compensated, and never warned her to use a burp cloth. They set her up to be a fool in a commonplace setting. Then sue her. She robbed your child of nutrients and she holds the proof on her shirt. AKA as LOL, This can’t be real. Or, buy her a regular shirt, invite her over and let her hold your leaky kettle. Let her see what a shirt is really worth, using the old cost- benefit analysis.
Well just call the insurance and send them the bill … 🤷🏼♀️ That’s what insurances are for and every parent should have one because this kind s**t happens very often …
All of the comments abt how she should have known that babies puke all of the time confuse me. I'm in my 40s and admittedly don't have my own children. However, w/ friends, siblings, and cousins having kids over the years, I've held MANY babies w/o ever being puked on (I should actually say that outside of work I've never been puked on bc if I'm holding them at work that generally means they're sick. If I judged adults by the same standards, I'd have to assume most adults vomit and sh!t themselves all of the time too lol) OP should've warned their cousin and given her a towel or baby blanket to cover herself w/ before she held the baby. The blouse was ridiculously expensive and I feel the price mentioned has to be an exaggeration. Either way, OP should have at least offered to pay for it BUT if I were the cousin I'd decline. That's family and you don't do that stuff to family bc manners and being a decent person and the like. IMHO the whole situation is weird and falls btwn ESH and YTA
The mom is a total AH because she admits to knowing her cousin ONLY buys expensive designer clothes. She is then trying to gaslight by saying "everyone knows what babies are like". Then she gaslights again by saying "she took a risk wearing expensive clothes knowing what babies are like and it backfired". Oh, Hades no on that nonsense. It almost seems like she was happy about what happened. The cousin is not an AH but she is ridiculously expecting full reimbursement as she is 50% at fault for wearing something so expensive AND willingly holding the baby.
Except that you're wrong. If it's not common knowledge that babies puke, then it should be common knowledge that babies can be messy and drool. Why would you wear expensive clothing around a baby? She should've kniwn what she was getting into but she didn't which is unfortunate for her. Too bad, so sad🤷🏽♀️
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Shaming the cousin for not knowing what babies are like is really shitty behaviour. The OP set the story up by shaming her lifestyle too; the way she describes her definitely suggests animosity be that a bit of jealousy for her having money and designer clothes or shame for being single and living with her parents. OP knows her baby, and knows if she's likely to be sick or not. Why didn't she offer a burb cloth or equivalent. If you know she wears expensive clothes why didn't you warn her? I get that it's a lot of money, more money that the OP thinks is reasonable, but OP could have prevented it happening but did nothing. That makes her culpable for me.
Definitely the a*****e!!! Don’t pay party pass around patty with your baby and maybe it wouldn’t be getting sick.
What? You obviously have no experience with babies. Vomiting just happens. It doesn't necessarily mean that the baby has an infection. It's just how a newborn digestive system works.
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I disagree. She should have worn the type of clothing appropriate for the occasion if she wanted to hold the baby. Or else she should have worn what she wanted and declined to hold the baby. This isn't on OP at all. EDIT: And yes she has the right to wear whatever she wants but then she also gets to accept the consequences for that choice. Can someone wear nice clothing to clean out a barn? Sure. But don't complain when your clothes are ruined!
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It's common knowledge that babies throw up. It isn't the baby's fault or the mother's fault. Period
Load More Replies... I find the YTAs amusing - "It's been a whole month, you should have taught your kid to recognize name brands and suppress bodily functions by now, clearly you are a negligent parent!" 🙄😂
“OH MY GOD. Your INFANT still does normal baby things? You’re such an ENTITLED BEYOTCH. #Cancelled #MommyMonday #Entitlement #SlayyyQueen!!!! Lmao sorry I couldn’t help myself xD
Load More Replies... A one month old baby eats breastmilk or formula, they not so much vomit as they spit up curdled milk. It’s not the same at all as adult vomit. How did that ruin a blouse beyond repair?
Right? I am calling BS on this too. Their vomit is not that acidic to ruin a shirt and since at a month old they only eat milk, it does not colour either... source: my two kids, several nieces and nephew. Aaaaall barfed on me, even on nice clothes, I got every stain out...
Load More Replies... I find it more unsettling that an adult is crying because her top got dirty!!!!
Her salty tears probably stained the shirt even more
Load More Replies... I don’t get the people talking about ‘the kid’s actions”; it’s a newborn, the kid didn’t do any actions, she got picked up and spit up involuntarily, she didn’t decide to throw up on the blouse, she didn’t jump up into the woman’s arms, the mother did not hold the baby over her like a vomit pistol... If I pick up or accept to hold a baby and it kicks me, pees on me or throws up on me, that’s my problem to deal with, *I* decided to hold the baby.
People who are saying YTA clearly don’t have kids and have no clue what they are talking about. That much is obvious cause no logical person would come to that conclusion if they did.
Load More Replies... This is astonishing and makes me lose faith in the whole aita thing! $1800 for a shirt? And holding a baby in it without a spill cloth? Then blaming the mother? She spends that much on shirts, she's responsible for looking after them. Kids trashing stuff is a different ball game to newborns spilling. Ffs
You mean to say you HAD faith in the AITA thing? It's all just attention grabbing nonsense, all all just the one side of the story.
Load More Replies... Going out and crying all night in the car signals more than just a blouse in this issue. Unless the baby had acid vomit that ate the blouse away, someone out there knows how to clean a blouse. That cleaning will be less than the amount paid for the blouse.
Babies are prone to sudden unpredictable eruptions from all orifices, much like volcanoes. I mean to say there is always risk if you decide to get close and personal with either and you know that beforehand.
It s been this way litteraly s8nxe the dawn of time. If an adult doesnt know that a baby can puke they have lived a sheltered life. Baby did her a favor. Lol
Load More Replies... To those who feel OP’s the TA, I can kind of understand the perspective as the parent should own up if the child damages any property but in this case, the child is a literal baby. Babies don’t know anything so until the baby grows up a little, some sacrifices unfortunately have to be made
And people should know already that they take a risk when they hold a baby. And honestly, I don't understand why it is necessary to wear designer clothing for a family gathering. It doesn't sound like the rest of the family dresses like that so it just comes off as pretentious.
Load More Replies... You hold a baby, you’re accepting the fact that you may be thrown up on at any moment. Period. And if you afford an £1800 top, then you can afford to lose an £1800 top.
With the way she reacted I'm thinking she really can't afford a £1800 top. Freaking out like that and asking for recompense makes me think her finances are very tight, if not over drawn, because she's spending an outrageous amount of money on her clothes. I mean, £1800? What is that top made out and who made it? Maybe she got it for a specific reasons and had just purchased it recently so she was overly excited to wear it and it that impaired her judgement in deciding to hold the baby. I know people have a tough time turning down their chance to hold the baby when the baby is getting passed around. I imagine it's worse for women in that regard.
Load More Replies... Wow I can't believe the amount of people who are comparing it to a kid breaking something the baby is a new born it wasn't on purpose babies just donut . And seriously running away and crying in the car obviously the cousin has issues if she's having a tantrum as a grown up .
Apart from owning a blouse for 1800 bucks and being unaware of babies sometimes leaking on both ends - isn't anybody a bit worried about the "spent the rest of the evening crying in her car" part? What is wrong with her, apart from a soiled blouse?
We are talking about mess from a four-week-old baby here, not an older child mishandling or putting mucky hands on something when they wouldn't have known better. (Even if it was an older child, if a kid is sick they can't always make to a bathroom or suitable container before they vomit, some mess can be an unavoidable accident.) The parents can't be responsible for their baby's natural bodily reaction - though if the baby had just been fed or was otherwise regularly spitting up a verbal warning and offer of baby muslin/towels should have been given to the guests. Given Alice's reaction and feelings of humiliation, it's a good thing the mess didn't come from the other end.
Omg I'm dying from the YTA commenters who don't recognize the difference between an 8 year old throwing a ball and breaking a vase and a newborn who spit up on an obscenely expensive blouse. Let me say it loud and clear so everyone in the back can hear - SHE IS NOT THE AH! Y'all are so delusional it's hysterical.
NTA. If Alice wears all these expensive clothes she claims she can afford she should know there's going to be a chance they may get dirty. If she spilled a drink on her clothing at a restaurant would she demand the restaurant pay for the price of the clothes? All this getting upset, crying, staying in the car, making a big scene, refusing the offer of dry cleaning is just shows she took an opportunistic time to try to swindle money off of her cousin. Her cousin just had a baby and likely can't afford to spend 1800 towards her cousin. Since Alice is a banker she should understand this.
An $1800 blouse? Think of how many nice blouses that would buy. I'd have puked on her, too. For adults who aren't sponging off of their parent that would be a month's rent.
NTA: Someone knows they gonna hold a newborn and expects Not to be vomited on? The YTA people are out of mind.
There is nothing more entitled than wearing something other people can't afford to wear themselves, taking stupid risks while wearing it, and then expecting the other to be responsible. And frankly, I suspect what a couple other people have suggested: that the blouse isn't ruined at all, but no longer "pure" in the cousin's mind.
Well, babies are gross like that. so before handling one, make sure you wear something you wouldn't be too sad to lose. If you don't have such clothes -opt out of holding a baby. Also, I don't really believe the blouse could be completely ruined after the baby throwing up on it once.
How can someone think the mother is wrong? My baby almost never vomited, but her cousin did. Everyone did put something over their shoulder when holding him. But that was a learning curve. In the first few weeks we forgot that all the time. And it was never an issue. 4 week old babys cannot smile, they cannot see clearly, they are not capable of doing anything on purpose.
How can anyone buy the part where the blouse is ruined? When she was 3months old my daughter vomit on my silk blouse at a wedding. Got it to a professionnal cleaner and it was perfect after their magic trick. Someone feels humiliate and wants revenge.
Load More Replies... A: "Baby ceremonies" seems kind of silly. B: If invited to one, wear proper clothing. Anyone who's made it to being a banker should have the brains to know you don't hold babies wearing designer blouses. It's just common sense. C: Dr cleaning certainly will remove baby milk stains.
As for A, I kind of understand it. With a big family/friend circle your first few weeks would be a revolving door, every five minutes someone popping by to see the new baby, taking up your time while you have a lot to do as a new parent, especially a first timer. But if you give one day to get it over with at once, you might have some peace for a while.
Load More Replies... If you're wearing a $1800 top in a regular middle class enviro you better warn everybody around you whenever there are drinks/ kids/ babies around (Maybe you can leva the price tag : p ). If you don't, and it gets ruined, don't loose face asking for your money; you should very well afford it, since you use it so casually.
She chose to hold the baby in designer clothes so it's on her. The one comment said that some people may not know what babies are like but then thats a lack of general knowledge on her part and she cant hold others accountable for experiences she has never had.
NTA obviously. Let your cousin simmer in her own ridiculousness and learn some common sense. Im still in disbelief that she thought it was cool to ask for 1800$ from a new mom for a shirt. It’s like, Sure Alice here’s 1800$ go buy yourself something designer. /s 🙄
NTA OP. How could someone sit in a car for hours covered in baby vomit? At least stop in the bathroom and wash off first!
Someone loaned her a blouse, but apparently it didn't fit right. So I don't think she sat in the car for hours covered in vomit. But I guess she was also upset because she didn't like the blouse that was loaned to her.
Load More Replies... I can't imagine a $1,800 blouse, someone had to sex this story up with an extra 0. But pretending the story factual, who spends $180 on a shirt let alone $1,800? And then who wears said shirt to a baby "shower" and why? To upstage the baby? To me there seems to be a whole lotta mental going on.
It’s an infant, Id say YTA if the kid was old enough to know better. You can tell a toddler not to mess with something and it’s the owners responsibility to put it away. The kid is a baby, it doesn’t know better
So banker babe still lives with her parents? Between that and expensive clothes, that woman has no sense of reality. Mom is not the problem. Yes, she should offer to clean the shirt . . . maybe banker babe should only play with kids her own age.
Anyone who wears an £1800 top to hold a baby, and doesn't use a spit cloth is an a*****e. Offer to pay for the top to be drycleaned, and leave it at that.
why would alice have a spit cloth if she's not a mother? it's the mom's responsibility to offer one & she didn't. if alice doesn't have any experience with babies, she probably didn't think to ask for one if nobody else was using one; she couldn't have known it would've been necessary in exactly two seconds if nobody else had any issues without one. the mom already knew alice always wears expensive clothes, so in my opinion it's on her to take preventative measures & offer a spit cloth to alice. the mom & all the nta people keep acting like it was a given that the baby was gonna puke & that alice should've known better, but if the mom *already* knew better as she had experience, why didn't *she* offer a spit cloth?? sorry, the logic doesn't follow. ESH, alice for expecting a new mom to pay that much over a minor mishap, & the mom for not doing anything if she knows alice always wears expensive clothes but wants to hold a baby.
Load More Replies... ESH-OP should at the least offer to get it dry cleaned not just refuse to do anything.As Alice really should've known better than to wear something super expensive to hold a baby which do things like that.
I agree that offering to dry clean it would be the nice thing to do. As someone that has difficulty with absolutes not really being absolute, though, I probably wouldn't have thought that the "completely ruined" blouse could be saved by dry cleaning and wouldn't bring it up.
Load More Replies... Anyone who spends 1800 pounds (about $2000 American) on a blouse deserves to be vomited on, whether a baby's around or not.
Well... NTA. All my clothes are designer also and I spend on my wardrobe, it's a high priority. So after something has been debuted, reworn, pulled out of the bottom of my luggage, then layered for a dinner out, then it's ready for babies, glamping, and a nicer night at home. The friend may as well ask the sun to pay for bleaching the softtop of her convertible. Her choice, to me, and nothing at all is expected except intervention and an offer of a clean top to wear.
Wow... NTA. It's a newborn. She chose to wear what she did and hold the baby... and attend! Those were her choices. I would offer dry cleaning perhaps, but she needs a reality check. Everyone saying YTA needs a reality check as well... just don't go! Babies spit up and poop and cry! That's 100% different than allowing a child to damage property or not supervising them!!!
YTA for forcing your cousin to come to your party, YTA for forcing your cousin to pickup your kid and you're definitely TA for forcing your cousin to wear expensive clothes while picking up your baby. FFS ... warm water, soap, done. Or dry cleaning.
When my son was a baby and let other people hold him, we have them a muslin cloth to put over their shoulder in case he puked.
I imagined the baby immediately projectile vomitting while being handed over - right in the face and down the front of the blouse. Ask me how I know this scenario...
Load More Replies... ESH. Alice shouldn’t have worn such an expensive shirt to meet a baby and OP should have offered to get it dry cleaned.
It seems OP did at least enquire about the possibility of dry-cleaning.
Load More Replies... NTA. I was wearing a brand new dress I bought at a boutique to a wedding reception where my cousin brought her 6mos old briefly to meet everyone. I was holding heron my hip and she was fine until she wasn't. All down the front of the skirt part of my dress. Luckily I was able to hold her away and most went on the ground. We laughed. It's a baby. We went to the bathroom and cleaned us both up. I wouldn't have even dreamed of asking the mom to pay the dry cleaning. I took the risk and it's still a funny story.
Love how this AITA post is THREE YEARS old btw. Is that normal here or-
There's no fucken way baby puke ruined her shirt unless it was made out of like... cotton candy & just dissolved from moisture. Like.... cmon. Have it cleaned professionally. How is that any different than spilling milk or coffee on yourself! What happens if you spill a drink or salad dressing on your blouse? You throw it out? ESH.
How was her top completelly ruined? Surely it cannot be that bad, if you soak it in water before stain dries up, it could be cleaned. I don't think that some spit up baby formula can make stains that bad. NTA, as OP said, best thing she coud do is to pay for dry cleaning. Her cousin should think twice before wearing overpriced clothes around babies.
Offer to pay for it to be drycleaned. If she says it can't be then she's lying, how else would she wash it for the next wear. Baby vomit is extremely unlikely to "ruin" anything and is easily removable.
Kid goes into your bag and throws your phone across the room breaking it, yes parent replaces it. Baby vomits over excessively expensive top * that was deemed suitable to hold newborn... Out of luck. *by that i mean obviously too expensive to easily be replaced by the owner*
If the cousin cries because her top got ruined and is embarrassed because she had to wear something other than expensive designer shirts, then she has a seriously bad identity issue. She puts too much stock in her appearance and not enough in her experiences. I would say the mother should pay to have the shirt dry cleaned, but the cousin also needs to learn a lesson in that there are certain situations in which going grunge or refraining from wearing expensive clothes may be appropriate.
I keep seeing people saying “the action of the kid” in saying poster is TA… but this is a BABY, who has no control over bodily functions. It’s not like the kid is older and willfully destroying things while the mum does nothing…
Even the ones suggesting she pay for dry cleaning...like what? No one (seemingly) forced her to hold a baby. Whatever you bring to someone's home, knowing they have children under about 4 (when they can more reliably expected to respect people's belongings), is your problem. Same goes if you know they have a puppy or kitten.
Babies cry, pee, poop, and spit up. Why tf would you wear such expensive clothing to visit a newborn? Was the blouse disposable? Because there's no way it was "ruined." It could have been dry cleaned, which OP should pay for. But asking the parents of a newborn to fork out for a replacement designer blouse that the cousin can easily afford to replace—since her parents cover all her living expenses—is ridiculous.
B******t. No way is it "completely ruined" WHY wear something so expensive going to meet a newborn if not to show off, tell her to go whistle. She sounds like a complete twat
I mean dry-cleaning isn't a magical solve it all. I have a perfectly normal Tom Tailor jeans coat that has a strictly no dry-cleaning label on it. Brushed by a car, I had a massive oil stain on it. Took it to have it professionally cleaned and the chemicals have completely faded the colour. 😭 Strictly speaking, it's not unwearable but after just one dry-cleaning cycle, it looks like I've had it for at least two years. It was brand new when the mishap happened, so I was a bit sad.
So how do clean it then? Clothes that cant be washed......🤔....
Load More Replies... Wow BP are really digging through the past for posts. This AITA is from 3 years ago!!
And that's reason #487 why I don't go anywhere near babies, much less holding them. Gimme a kitty/puppy/baby crocodile any day!
Not sure about baby crocodiles, but kittens and puppies do plenty of vomiting. And they don't stop when they grow up!
Load More Replies... I would have used my or the babys insurance, both covers things kids can cause by accident.
What kind of insurance? I have never heard of this sort of thing?
Load More Replies... I used to work in a dry cleaners. If there were bodily fluids of any kind, we refused it.
Why would you refuse it? I get some stuff could be super gross...
Load More Replies... I googled what 1800 pounds is in America and it’s about $2286.72. This girl whom is an adult is living with her parents wearing shirts over $2000?! Here in America, it’s not uncommon for people to help their adult children out but not so they can walk around wearing thousands of dollars worth of clothes. And she’s insane wanting to hold a baby, whom can vomit/poop/pee etc at any moment while wearing very nice clothes. The parents should have told her what could happen. You just had a baby. You’re exhausted. NTA
I'm not a fan of babies, so if I'm at a party where there's a baby, I make sure to keep a glass of water in my hand. I don't offer to hold the kid, but I smile and tell the parents it's such a cute baby. Why anyone would wear a ridiculously expensive item to this gathering is mind boggling.
I learnt to not wear my nicer stuff around my friends kids coz babies and toddlers are going to cover you in well everything. I can't tell you how many times I've been vomited on I just learnt to laugh about it
If you do not want baby chuck on you, never ask to hold it, or even hold it IF you are asked
I figured this is one of 2 things: 1) she was planning on returning the blouse because she really can't afford it but wanted to show off to everyone because she's super insecure! 2) seeing how happy OP was with her baby made her realise that none of her superficial possessions will ever bring her that kind of joy and she wonders if she will feel that way kind of happiness herself because she's super insecure Moral of the story: she's super insecure
The comments that say the mother is totally wrong or partially wrong are ridiculous. Especially the comments who say that the mother would be responsible if the baby broke something. This incident happened in the parent's home, NOT in a store! Anyway, it's the cousin's fault for wearing such an expensive blouse. She should have known better.
NTA. Cousin Alice needs to grow up and realize that the whole world doesn't revolve around her...
I want to take a new perspective on this. Why are we having a baby ceremony and letting everyone hold her? Especially at a time like this. When I had all my babies, I told people they could come when I was settled at home. Never as a group Too many people at once will overwhelm the poor child. I'd throw up too if a bunch of strangers passed me around like a football.
Someone spent £1800 to find out babies vomit all the time. How can someone so foolish have such a clothing budget? How can you spend an amount of money that's worth getting upset over for a blouse?
So if cousin in story was walking down the street in her overpriced fancy clothes and a car splashes dirty water/slush on her does she sue the driver? Suddenly starts raining and she gets water spots on her expensive leather/silk does she sue the weather forecaster? Or God? ..If you can afford expensive clothes and an Accident happens that's on you. If someone threw red wine at her then sue. Intentional vs Accidental. Also says she lives with parents but what if she had her own place and had people over and oops an accident happened that's the risk you take. Otherwise wrap yourself in a bubble and never go out. And Yes the Crying In the Car all night...Immature much? Everyone who's down on the mom with the baby, maybe you should be down on the cousins parents for enabling their daughter by letting her still live at home so she can afford to buy this stuff and they didn't educate her about how to behave in public and what to expect from a newborn? Flip the script.
i think offering to pay for cleaning would be correct. i don't see how it was "ruined" by some newborn spit up. maybe that was the cheapest blouse the lady owned. and OP should have offered a burp cloth to everyone who held the baby.
What is it made of, tissue paper? If I'm spending £1800 on a top, it better be made of carbon nano tubes.
This weekend just gone, my in-laws asked if I can have a look at their oven in the near future. It needed a good clean anyway but apparently the door seal had come off. I normally give their oven a good clean for them twice a year because they are not mobile enough to do it. I looked at the seal, it needed to be replaced. I said 'Might as well get it dealt with now'. Nipped down to the DIY store, got a new seal, cleaned the oven and replaced the seal. I was wearing one of my better (White) T-shirts and it got ruined. My point is, I agreed to do something that I knew carried a risk of getting grubby, I could hardly complain to them that my top was ruined due to my lack of preparation. It was 100% my fault.
Some of these AITAs read more like people looking to just tell a story, maybe humblebrag a bit at how virtuous they actually are. Of course the other other person is wrong. Obviously wrong. Then you read a few of the responses where someone is showing empathy towards the "wronged" party. "I don't know, you knew this person was a complete narcissist when you were compelled to invite her, so you are kinda TA..."
Wait a minute, a single puke so easily ruins a blouse that costs 1800 £? That doesn't sound like high quality to me... Poor Alice was ripped off!
If you pick up a baby, there is a risk they will throw up on you. If you don't want that to happen, don't pick up the baby. It's not the same as the baby throwing up in an Uber. An Uber driver is providing a service and the baby is being brought into that environment. Coming into the babies environment and holding them is entirely at your own peril.
Good have liability insurance. Also my blouses cost 20€ and I don't like to hold babies. One problem less.
Could she help out a little bit? Sure. But asking for $1800 for something that either person could have prevented is ridiculous. If it was a $50 shirt I doubt she would have said no if the question was asked nicely enough.
I thought everyone has a spit up cloth on their shoulder at all times when holding a baby...or was that just our family? My sister had a pretty pukey kid second time around but we already did that with her 1st. Not sure if it was something my mom did and showed my sister or just her own idea. It saved a multitude of blouses. I also do not at all but that a month old baby spit up ruined an 1800 pound blouse. It's curdled milk at that age and nothing else b/c they don't eat any food at all yet, just (breast)milk or formula. That will come out of a silk blouse. Cousin is filled with drama and I just don't believe it. WTF spends that much on clothes and then wears it holding a baby? I became an aunt at 17 and had no experience with kids but I knew babies were messy AF.
The mother shouldn't have offered to pay to have it dry cleaned. Babies throw up - don't go near one if you don't want vomit on you.
This reddit post is over 3 years old the kids a toddler now, such a waste of time and energy even reading this ....
As someone who is childless and siblingfree, I will say that I had NO idea how much babies throw up and didn't know about the infamous "Diaper Blowouts" until I had to babysit my younger cousins, so it's NOT common knowledge, but I also feel like people generally know better than to wear expensive clothes around children younger than like 10 or 11. I still feel like the mom should have warned her cousin, though, just in case.
I'd would think that if Mum REFUSED to allow the woman to hold the baby, she'd be the ah. No one is entitled to hold a baby at an event and at 1 month old, as a parent, I would limit how many people hold the child. I would tell the Aunt that when you point your finger at someone, there are 3 pointing back at you. So she was negligent in 'raising' or warning the daughter in regards to what to expect while holding the baby. Prior to leaving their home, 'shoulda woulda coulda' told the clueless wit to either wear a different shirt or not hold the baby. If she was going to hold the baby, to do so with the understanding that she's on the 'hook' for the mishap as the baby (or mother) is not.
I most likely will be downvoted, but here we go. We all know how these baby meet and greet goes. In some families (it was in mine), no one asked IF you wanted to hold the baby. They just shoves the baby into your arms and that's all. Go practice for being a future mom (or some bitter jokes in these lines). That have happened to me several times. I never wanted to hold a baby, but here we go, someone just pass him/her to your arms and backs off. If that was the case and the baby ruins my blouse, I would be furious to say the least.
Thankfully the people in the comments here understand babies, with is wrong with reddit, it's a baby op is nta. 1800 blouse to a baby shower, that's insane, I have wealthy women in my family as well they either do not hold the baby or put a barrier between them and the baby...they also have money and class so don't expect reimbursement, that would be more embarrassing then a messed shirt...thought she could afford her lifestyle....guess nit and wants you to buy her a new shirt that could be cleaned...it's only baby vomit, I have 3 kids, they do bit stain or ruin clothes, not with vomit, poop or peep...I did get pink eye once from baby drool though...my fault babies mouth was above my head and I looked up. Easy nta.
That this person went through SO many people would be cause for a giant single finger salute! Be an adult and call the person, have an adult conversation and try to find a resolution. I wouldn't be paying anything beyond a nominal dry cleaning bill, because the rest is on owner for wearing something that can't be cleaned while intending on holding an infant.
I believe the responsibility comes with knowledge. Thus whoever was more informed about the high probability of the incident to happen, and didn’t inform/warn others (maybe assuming they should know by default) should be hold accountable. With that said, I hope both parties of the argument will find enough empathy and respect towards each other to put aside their judgements and resolve the issue on the common sense grounds. P.s. One has babies, other career, third buys expensive guitars and so on… it’s not up to anyone to decide or judge what should make others happy and fulfilled. Isn’t the entire modern philosophy about this? :)
Sue her parents. They have neglected her. She thinks a baby burp can be compensated, and never warned her to use a burp cloth. They set her up to be a fool in a commonplace setting. Then sue her. She robbed your child of nutrients and she holds the proof on her shirt. AKA as LOL, This can’t be real. Or, buy her a regular shirt, invite her over and let her hold your leaky kettle. Let her see what a shirt is really worth, using the old cost- benefit analysis.
Well just call the insurance and send them the bill … 🤷🏼♀️ That’s what insurances are for and every parent should have one because this kind s**t happens very often …
All of the comments abt how she should have known that babies puke all of the time confuse me. I'm in my 40s and admittedly don't have my own children. However, w/ friends, siblings, and cousins having kids over the years, I've held MANY babies w/o ever being puked on (I should actually say that outside of work I've never been puked on bc if I'm holding them at work that generally means they're sick. If I judged adults by the same standards, I'd have to assume most adults vomit and sh!t themselves all of the time too lol) OP should've warned their cousin and given her a towel or baby blanket to cover herself w/ before she held the baby. The blouse was ridiculously expensive and I feel the price mentioned has to be an exaggeration. Either way, OP should have at least offered to pay for it BUT if I were the cousin I'd decline. That's family and you don't do that stuff to family bc manners and being a decent person and the like. IMHO the whole situation is weird and falls btwn ESH and YTA
The mom is a total AH because she admits to knowing her cousin ONLY buys expensive designer clothes. She is then trying to gaslight by saying "everyone knows what babies are like". Then she gaslights again by saying "she took a risk wearing expensive clothes knowing what babies are like and it backfired". Oh, Hades no on that nonsense. It almost seems like she was happy about what happened. The cousin is not an AH but she is ridiculously expecting full reimbursement as she is 50% at fault for wearing something so expensive AND willingly holding the baby.
Except that you're wrong. If it's not common knowledge that babies puke, then it should be common knowledge that babies can be messy and drool. Why would you wear expensive clothing around a baby? She should've kniwn what she was getting into but she didn't which is unfortunate for her. Too bad, so sad🤷🏽♀️
Load More Replies... Shaming the cousin for not knowing what babies are like is really shitty behaviour. The OP set the story up by shaming her lifestyle too; the way she describes her definitely suggests animosity be that a bit of jealousy for her having money and designer clothes or shame for being single and living with her parents. OP knows her baby, and knows if she's likely to be sick or not. Why didn't she offer a burb cloth or equivalent. If you know she wears expensive clothes why didn't you warn her? I get that it's a lot of money, more money that the OP thinks is reasonable, but OP could have prevented it happening but did nothing. That makes her culpable for me.
Definitely the a*****e!!! Don’t pay party pass around patty with your baby and maybe it wouldn’t be getting sick.
What? You obviously have no experience with babies. Vomiting just happens. It doesn't necessarily mean that the baby has an infection. It's just how a newborn digestive system works.
Load More Replies... I disagree. She should have worn the type of clothing appropriate for the occasion if she wanted to hold the baby. Or else she should have worn what she wanted and declined to hold the baby. This isn't on OP at all. EDIT: And yes she has the right to wear whatever she wants but then she also gets to accept the consequences for that choice. Can someone wear nice clothing to clean out a barn? Sure. But don't complain when your clothes are ruined!
Load More Replies... It's common knowledge that babies throw up. It isn't the baby's fault or the mother's fault. Period
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