“This Doesn’t Add Up”: Woman Claps Back At Haters Who Don’t Get How She Can Have A “Handsome” And “Physically Fit” Husband
TikTok is home to a host of different trends at any given time. New dances, mouth-watering viral recipes, intense challenges and cute couples videos flood the app daily. These are usually harmless trends featuring creators having fun and exercising a bit of their creativity, but sometimes, what ruins a perfectly normal video is the slew of hateful comments it receives. Recently, one TikToker was reminded of just how bitter people on the internet can be when they see something they don’t understand.
3 days ago, TikToker Alicia Mccarvell called out viewers for showing their fatphobia after a cute video of her and her husband went viral for all the wrong reasons. Below, you can see the original video that sparked this discussion, hear what Alicia had to say in response, and read some of the comments her video received, and join Alicia in her frustration with society’s oppressive obsession with our bodies. Then if you’re looking for another Bored Panda piece calling out the world’s rampant fatphobia, check out this article next.
Recently, TikToker Alicia Mccarvell posted a cute video with her husband showing their “transformation” as they got ready to attend a wedding
Image credits: aliciamccarvell
@aliciamccarvell My forever wedding date ♥️ @scottymc4 ♬ original sound – cam
After the original video went viral, Alicia made a follow-up calling out viewers for perpetuating toxic beauty standards in the comments section
She shared examples of ignorant comments people left speculating about how her and her husband became an item
Alicia went on to explain that we all have a responsibility to unlearn toxic ideas we’ve been taught, like valuing the size of our bodies above all else
Image credits: aliciamccarvell
You can watch the full response video right here
@aliciamccarvelllet’s address the trash beauty standards in the room ||••♬ original sound – Alicia Mccarvell
Alicia currently has 5 million followers on TikTok and has gained a loyal audience through posting uplifting self-love content, participating in funny trends, and sharing adorable videos with her husband. So even though she receives thousands of supportive comments from fans every day, she notes in the video that hearing rude remarks about her marriage is nothing new. But that doesn’t make it acceptable. Inserting our opinions on anyone else’s body or relationship is uncalled for, and the fact that people take issue with Alicia’s marriage in the first place is so disappointing.
While TikTok is an app where content creators can post almost anything they like, from religious content to conspiracy theories, it is still notorious for promoting unrealistic beauty standards. With an algorithm that seems to endlessly push young, thin, white users’ content and mysteriously censors many plus-size creators for posting almost identical videos, the app is often the subject of controversy. In fact, the TikTok’s original policies instructed moderators to “censor content from people it believed to be ugly, overweight, disabled, or poor”. By pushing videos from users that fit into narrow beauty standards, fatphobic viewers are able to hold fast to their prejudices knowing they’ll rarely ever see anything that challenges their beliefs.
Alicia’s original video was meant to be a fun post featuring her loving husband, but it turned into a bold statement about body positivity. While the hateful commenters might have a long way to go in dismantling their fatphobia, I hope that Alicia bringing attention to the issue will help some of them open up their minds. We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below if you have ever experienced anything similar to Alicia or if you have any tips for helping others unlearn toxic beauty expectations. And remember, if you don’t have anything nice to say, maybe you don’t need to say anything at all.
Thankfully, Alicia has received countless comments of support from followers who understand how insignificant our bodies are
And the apps owned by China, so all the information downloaded to the app then China knows about it.
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Some people are trash, and insanely jealous. They're so vapid and their only asset is their half plastic body!
It amazes me that people have the audacity to be so incredibly rude about someone else's looks.
Something that's kind of getting overlooked in this article is his perspective. There are more reasons to get fit than just 'to pick up women.' Maybe it's something he enjoys doing, maybe he's been inspired to accomplish something, maybe he has been working hard to overcome his past unfit self, or maybe he just wants to look good for himself. We see a lot of stories like this from women when strangers assume that if they dress up or wear makeup, it's only because they want to get hit on.
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I have experienced the same except for us it's because I am disabled by chronic illness and am a wheelchair user. People don't get that my partner loves me; I've had people say he must be with me because he feels sorry for me, as well as cruel comments asking about our sex lives insinuating that he must "have a fetish" or worse that he must be cheating because everyone knows a disabled person can't have sex (sorry that's sarcasm do those who might miss the point). It can be really hurtful but he always challenges people on their attitude when he witnesses it. People just can't seem to see past my disability or my wheelchair, as if that's all I am. He would tell you a list of the reasons he loves me, and the only reason my health would be mentioned would be that he admires how I deal with all the pain and complications I have to deal with. I'm lucky but he would say he is too.
I totally understand. My disability is an invisible one (epilepsy), but I've had comments about why would my husband want to have a burden. I am dependent on him for just about everything (transportation, income, and depending what they are and what kind of day I'm having, simple house chores. I take up a lot of his free time, so people want to know why he wants to be with me. He's a very caring person and helping me doesn't bother me. We were friends long before we were married.
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So because she's bigger than him, she's not worthy of his love?! What are all these skinny people doing that makes them better than her, except for being skinny? They know nothing about her. Good for her for not letting the bullies stay anonymous, and calling them out. I wouldn't have the mental strength or patience to deal with all that hate. And she even tries to educate them....Seems like all they have are their thin bodies...What happens when they gain weight, and god forbid become fat..
Over my 45 years I have been as small as 105 lbs, and as big as 170 (without being pregnant), and I'm 5'5", so pretty short. Currently, I weigh about 115ish, and it HURTS. 😱 Who tf wants to sit on BONES?! They're HARD! As are most seats! Even a soft se sa t is uncomfortable after awhile if you have a couple broomsticks under your a**e! 😳🤣🤣 So, yeah, skinny people being skinny is NOT a special ability, nor something people should aspire to. 😊
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I'm overweight and my boyfriend absolutely LOVES how I look. He's a scrawny little thing that bikes and plays ice hockey. I'm a hippo that makes a mean chili when he's done training. He washes my hair in the shower and feeds me chocolate. I massage his shoulders and send him lame memes. We spend so much time in bed, it's not even funny. Screw ancient beauty nonsense.
I have never been accepted and loved like this, as myself. But your description of what a relationship can be just gave me a little bit of hope. Maybe I could be this lucky one day. 😊
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I can't tell you the amount of times I have heard a woman say," How is SHE married and I'm not?" My answer?? Probably because they have a decent personality instead of being a vapid salty cow.
Sounds like a bunch of jealous, catty women who have men that aren't as attractive or don't have one at all.
I guess that explains why dating apps, and casual sex took off. People got used to living for beauty, but after 10-20min of bed rocking there was nothing else... I was short chubby girl, he is 196cm tall and slim built, we spent together 5-6hours walking in the middle of the night, and then he moved to another country to be with me, we didn't get to sex till after 5months of living together and sharing a bed. Beauty won't last, but humour and ability to talk and listen, and support will outweigh any physical appearance.People who have criticized us since the beginning are the ones still jumping from person to person, like ticks never satisfied. You're beautiful, and couples that are connected on deeper level are better looking than two models on a photo. (wonder how many takes it took to get that photo). A whole generation has grown up comparing themselves to others and if you're below or above then you get hit by their insecurities. Wish you all the happiness and success!
Dating apps are useless. You are disregarded because people don’t think you are “hot”. They can make you feel even crappier about yourself. I think if you read a description about someone and you have something in common, you can at least communicate since it’s so hard to meet new people once you pass a certain age.
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I hear ya. Fortunately I've never had any comments but I have had stares when I have been out with my hubby. He is fit and good looking whilst I am obese and extremely unattractive, especially by societies beauty standards. We started dating when I was very slim and after 20 years and excess weight gain, he still finds me attractive.
“Extremely unattractive…” Well let me tell you, a lot of people write comments on BoredPanda. With three people I know before reading it, their comments are always going to be pleasant, thoughtful, insightful, sometimes witty and generally nice comments. And you are one of those three. So your physical appearance may be “extremely unattractive” (I'm gonna take your word on that), but to me your comments on BoredPanda are always “extremely attractive”! Now I suddenly feel the urge to go watch the movie ‘Shallow Hal’ again…
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One of the many reasons I deleted TikTok. It's a whole new level of toxic out there...
I've said it before and I'll say it again, when you love someone the sight of them makes your heart sing. Inside the packaging is the person you love, so that packaging fills your heart up.
I relate to this on a deep level. My husband is gorgeous, could be a model, and is 6 years younger than me. I almost turned him down because of the age difference. We have been together for 11 years, married for 8. I am very overweight and look my age. Yet he moved countries for me. Gave up everything he knew, (home, family, car, house) to move to a new country. I have had people say he just wanted to come to America (seriously? this country is a joke, he gave up free health care), that I must be rich (teachers are just hiding their wealth), and that they don't get it.
This is SO true. It shows up so much less when it's the other way round though as women are SUPPOSED to value men for who they are. This points out that society thinks men are SUPPOSED to value women's looks only. She IS beautiful but we should encourage our young children to date the person they like as beauty is fleeting. If you date when you're older this becomes more apparent to everyone. It takes a brave woman to point it out though, well done to her!!
This is why I don’t want to download tiktok. All of these stories only prove that it is a toxic environment
Gonna share this with my fellow incels so we can berate all the Instagram models who won't date us nice guys.
As we all know, people suck. As apparently very few know, she is a stunningly beautiful person. Her skin is so flawless, her hair is gorgeous, and that smile is outright contagious. Ngl, I wish I had that. I'm skinnier than her, but so what? She's beautiful and I know her husband sees what I see and so much more. Screw these vapid, jealous a$$holes. They found love with each other and the skinny trolls can't stand it. She's handling it with such an astounding amount of grace that it's no wonder Scott fell for her. She's gorgeous both inside and out.
If you go by marketing/Hollywood beauty standards my wife would score lower than me. I've had women message me like this guy gets (although he's pretty hunky so I bet he gets it way more than me). The first time I saw the woman who would be my wife I couldn't take my eyes off her. I thought there were more attractive people in the room, but she stood out. I spent the whole night trying to work up the courage to talk to her and she ends up handing me her number on a napkin as she's getting ready to leave. Turns out we were both doing the same thing. And she is the most shy person I know. We just chalk it up to fate
The list of couples where the woman is a perfect beauty stand doll and the guy isn't is infinit, huge! ohhh, the double standards
She doesn't worry about girls hitting on him because she trusts him implicitly. If she didn't I doubt they'd be together as trust is vital to a healthy relationship.
People who think looks are the only thing that attracts others, really have no assets that a partner would want.
"This aint adding up." "Then get a better math tutor." SLAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!
As a fat positive person I think that these people judging this couple are cringe tbh. Imagine being so insecure you have to throw someone shade to feel good about yourself. That said, I understand why the hateful comments happen; (though I don't agree with it) the overwhelming majority of humans are shallow and even the most ardent believer in health at any size probably is slightly lookist. I mean, people do it to guys too, (she's only with him because he's rich bla bla) or whatever. It's second nature to judge people aesthetically... it doesn't make it right. But we are judgmental as a species even when stuff doesn't involve us or we don't know the whole story. It's sad though and we should be better. People who concern troll for health reasons is BS-- there are so many things we do that are destructive that body policing is frankly ridiculous. Whether or not she's healthy or not is a none of our business and we can't judge as we are not her doctor. Also TikTok is just a scourge.
I'm a Gay man and this has happened to me in the past. I'm fat, bald and plain and the pretty boys could never understand why the hot guys would date me. Maybe because I would actually listen to them, I wasn't judgmental or superficial and I wasn't all about me. It was actually an ego booster being with these studs and having the queens who would rag on me be jealous.
Those comments make me feel sick. How dare people say that to any other human being? And I suspect they have a relationship that will stay the course as it's based on real things - love and character, rather than looks. I suspect lots of the couples that feature on the endless AITA articles here were attracted by looks and then married without really knowing each other.
I... I don't even know what to say honestly. She's beautiful, in my honest opinion, and her husband is very handsome. It's sad that people have to put other people down to feel good about themselves.
The comments were largely by women, so far as I could tell. How incredibly awful.
My husband has an athlete's body; always has been in shape since a child though he was never a jock really. But if he does just two workouts, his body tones and muscles get huge while my face will go a little slim from two months of dieting and working out. A girl in public actually looked between the two of us and when he said he drove across country to see me, she brazenly said, "all that way for HER?" I was so taken aback I couldn't even respond but my husband put his arm around me and said "of course." We don't make sense apart but people see us together and always say we are the most loving and in-love couple they know and how we just fit together because of HOW WE TREAT EACH OTHER NOT HOW WE LOOK.
Yeah, that's the reason why it is better to find partner based on personality. Body can change over time, people grow old, it is easier to be with right person.
Beautiful couple, his love for her and her for him is obvious, I don’t see anything else! Humans can be utter soulless nothings, pay them no notice
"Do you get jealous when people hit on your husband?" Wtf type of question is that? Why would you be jealous of another person's actions that your husband has nothing do with. People are strange.
just started following her for exactly this reason. the world needs people to be as matter-of-fact about weight/size/beauty as she is. she's in love. and that's awesome.
My husband is gorgeous, think Chow Yun Fat! Me. I'm really nothing to look at. Plain Jane with glasses. But we have been married for 35 years and our love continues to grow. Many years ago my husband thanked me for loving him for who he is and not what he looked like. I was blown away by that. Society would have me thanking him! Not the other way around. A persons soul, personality, heart is what makes them beautiful not what they look like. I've seen some people who are absolutely stunning but also absolutely ugly in their hearts.
It is interesting how none of the people leaving mean comments are taking her husband into consideration. He chose her. He fell in love with her. He married her. I think her husband is a personal trainer. If he is, he spends a good part of his day with shallow people focused only on physical beauty. He knows true beauty is deeper and lasts longer.
Not to mention undervaluing HIM as a human being. Thinking someone that.looks like that MUST be shallow
In the US, there used to be a rom/com TV show called Mike and Molly, about a fat couple who were in love. The show was very successful. At one point, the female lead told the producers that she wanted to try to lose weight and get healthy--she wanted to give them a heads-up for things like costume size changes, etc. The producers were horrified. "If you do that, we'll have to cancel the show!" "What?! Why?!" "Because a fat guy with a skinny girlfriend is just too unrealistic! Nobody would ever believe it! Either stay the size you are, or we're canceling the show!" She went public with what the producers had said, and yes, they canceled the show.
I loved that show. Melissa is beautiful and talented. Full Stop !
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Same for myself and my SO. We have been together more than 19 years. She is 13 years older than me. People look at us and wonder wtf. I fell for her looks as well as her personality and viewpoints on many things. Even after all of this time I would not change a thing and we are going as strong as ever.
Some people fall in love with the person, not their looks. Have I seen Pierce Broanon's wife or Hugh Jackman's?
Blah. It's so sad we have this culture. I spent most of my 20's thinking my only value was how "attractive" I was. And that being pretty was the rent of being alive and allowed in this world. I missed out on a lot! I ditched diet culture a couple years ago, gained 2kgs (all that for 2kgs.....) and finally had energy, no brain fog and was able to laugh again (I was able to push myself much harder while working out too, much more fun). People who want you for your body will always make you feel inferior. Believe it or not, not everyone buy into the whole "thin = beauty" - thankfully!
I think fat people have a problem. Wait, that came out worse than I meant. What I mean is if your fat it's ok as long as you're trying to get better and more healthy, but all these fat people who say "respect my body for what it is" and are all pro being plus sized that just makes me sick.
Asking others to respect our body for what it is means to actually respect us no matter what size. We are seen as invisible or not worthy of respect. That's what body positivity is actually about. It's not about encouraging others to be overweight/obese it's about feeling good about yourself. Feeling good about yourself is the first step in making positive changes. Having low self worth from being treated like s**t doesn't help. In saying all that, whether someone is trying to get better or not is none of your damn business. It is between them and their dr. You have absolutely no idea what that person is/has been going through.
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Your husband is awesome and is so much deeper than the skinny wench gives him credit for. Does he have any enlightened brothers? lol
Do I wish I had a boyfriend who looked like Scott? Yes. Do I think they're obviously in love and very cute and happy together? Even more yes. Being a bit jealous is fine, but stuff like those TT comments are horrible and just cruel. I'm a large woman myself and honestly dont like my picture taken because of it and if I saw comments like that I'd be devastated. She's a an amazingly strong person and an inspiration! I'm very happy for them.
These people are just plain rude and/or jealous. Everyone expects that people value them for who they are instead of their looks. But at the same time these exact same people write hateful comments like this. So maybe her husband loves here for who she is. Plus, he might not care about looks or she‘s fully his type. Who cares as long as they are happy together :).
What in the actual f**k is wrong with tik tok? I mean, I know shitty ppl are everywhere. But tik tok is a whole other world. I would never have thought that had I seen the original post. I think she's beautiful period. Some of the most attractive people I've dated are some of the most boring, shitty ever. Some of the "not so attractive" ppl have also been shitty... but for the most part the ppl I've been with who aren't conventionally attractive have been the most successful relationships I've had. I'm just saying that looks aren't s**t. Being with someone attractive because you're attractive is so stupid dude. Date the person who makes you feel good about yourself.. who loves you for who you are. Who listens. Who cares. Who doesn't have a wandering eye. Someone who appreciates you "flaws" & all... dating someone because they're attractive & that's it is so fucken shallow. Like... at that point you're saying to show off. Not because you care about them.
F*****G PREACH!!!!!! she took that like a champ. and you know what? BY SOCIETYS STANDARDS she has an a*s. and boobs for that matter. she just because shes not a size 0 makes him out of her league? shut the f**k up because you know damn well you can't get anyone like that. so keep your damn negative opinions off her page, you negative nancy.
Awww but they're so cute and look so happy together.. why would anyone say this stuff?
how terrible of the people who replied to her videos! they are an absolutely beautiful couple, and they look so tremendously happy. as she said, he is interested in her personality, not her body (which is beautiful in any case) . this is what is wrong with society! we base love off of beauty standards. we should base love off of who we love and why we love them, their personalities and their uniqueness. love is love, not beauty standards. we need to stop judging people and couples by what they look like! ❤️
The stupid courage people get when they’re behind a keyboard and a screen… the commenters are very obviously just jealous and insecure, but it still makes me mad. Such a loving, fashionable couple, and the first thing people say are insults to make themselves feel better about themselves.
Awww, great story. Happiest wishes to Alicia and Scott for a wonderful and long life together!
Love is love. Looks don’t matter a damn when love is lasting. We’re all going to grow old, so should really fall in love with a person’s intrinsic qualities not their surface appearance. She’s a gorgeous curvy woman and they love each other. Who’s business is it to criticize? No one else’s but theirs.
Love is love. I don't explain to people romantic love, as it's something I don't relate to, but it's not about numbers or things or money or anything quantifiable. If it were, I'd have figured it out. It's literally outside reason. Just be happy it happens at all.
Wait, toktok actually tells its moderators to cencor content from wpeople who are disable, poor and poc?? Ok, WHY are people using this trash app?
I can see that you and your hubby are a beautiful couple that love and respect each other. We unfortunately live in a world where people are so narrow minded that they forget the fundamental reasons for our existence on this earth. Stay blessed in love and light 🤍
There is no fundamental reason for our existence on this earth. We're just the more successful creatures since the last extinction event. Throughout Earth's multi billion year existence there is estimated to have been 5 extinction events, that each wiped out an overwhelming majority of the species at the time.
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To heck with those bullies. Youre pretty,smart and confident. You found a man who loves you for you. Those other people jealous they dont have a relationship that isnt just looks
My first girlfriend came to meet me after school I was doing grade 13 (the last year it existed). I told my buddy that she was meeting me after school. She was a pretty girl and I'm overweight, so as he and I walked out of school, she was walking up to the sidewalk we met at and as she got closer and closer and she was looking in his direction but at me, he started smiling as if she was there for him. He didn't think I could pull a hotty... oh well!
She loves him and he loves her! It’s lovely. My husband is really fit as well whereas I’ve been always chubby and hate excersise. Love happens in the heart ❤️
People always question Hugh Jackman and his adoration for his wife Deborra, who is somewhat chubby & 15 years older. A marriage/relationship that is based on physical looks is never going to last - what lasts is love, understanding, support, companionship and a shared sense of humor. Kudos to you for not listening to the haters.
Most nice men I meet say they like a woman depending on her attitude towards herself. If she loves her body, acts naturally, doesn't make it a problem, so do they. That said I was mostly criticized by other women, who thought a chubby woman can't be attractive to men. Which is not true.
Jealous! When people have that many questions and opinions about your life, they are SEVERELY lacking something in themselves. Just empty. I feel bad for them. Ya'll keep on being fabulous!!
I used to date a big girl and I was fit kinda like this dude. Never really been social media, and this was kinda before it all took off so, but I’m sure we got looks all the time, just like she gets these comments. Humans are just assholes, s**t, we see it even in the animal world..
I have nephews in a similar situation. One's not overly fit physically, but he does like to run, and we aren't a family that tends to be overweight. His wife is, by anyone's measures, heavy. She is also absolutely perfect for him and is an amazing, funny, smart, talented woman. We adore her. His younger brother is quite handsome. He just moved in with (and might just marry) a woman who isn't model pretty. My sister and niece met her at the older nephew's wedding and thought she was wonderful. My brother, SIL, and the youngest of their three sons have given their whole hearted endorsement of that relationship, as has her father. I can tell that both couples are happily, madly in love, and have found the best people for them. That is all that matters to me Looks fade. Character is forever. Screw those idiots that don't get it.
It's not about us Ladies, it's just some low end skags that has to come after our good looking husbands. The poor things are so deprived/depraved they can't know what makes a good marriage; stuff like putting up with the low end skags that come for him...
I commend you for the strength and self love you have radiating from your soul! I advocate for depression and suicide awareness and prevention, and you are so right about people being conditioned to believe that beauty only exists on the condition of your shell. I am disabled and spend my time chatting with many people that let that kind of poison into their minds and it festers there, until they learn to understand that those people that have those comments are more troubled than anyone they point their bullying to, or; unfortunately the internal fight against negativity, ultimately takes over and they decide that it is too much and they can not fight anymore. You are a beacon for others, and you keep that up! Thank you for giving us your story to share with all who need to learn that ugly only comes from the inside, and if someone is ugly inside, all the "beauty" they think they have.. is meaningless.
As someone who is still pretty fit after having 2 children, we always hear what a ‘beautiful family’ we are. However, my husband and I have had a very difficult marriage and, while physical attraction is great, we would both rather be married to people we had more in common with.
If I were a dude that had to choose between a pretty face and a winning personality, I’d go for the one I could stand having conversations with in the nursing home. And if I were a lady with a winning personality, you BET I could score almost any guy I want. Muscles are only one bonus, and they mean absolutely nothing without a great heart. Honestly, if this is a loving couple, they’re better than most power couples out there. (And besides, she’s not ugly, just heavy. It goes without saying that our beauty standards are meant to exclude people and scapegoat them.)
Some people are shallow and weird. My ex was a very good looking guy - by that I mean he seemed to be considered really attractive by everyone and got a lot of comments/attention. He once came to meet me at a work event. A female colleague, who was around 15 years older than me, made some comment when he walked in and kept staring at him. Later she approached me and said “Wow. You have done really well for yourself getting him.” I found it really offensive and kind of… lecherous. I wish I’d said something but I didn’t at the time.
That last statement was very powerful: it’s the way we think because it’s what we are taught, but it’s our responsibility to unlearn it - or something along those lines.
When I first started dating my husband, people said "He doesn't look like your type." Or what do you see in him? How can you date someone who doesn't like to go out like you? I fell in love because he made me feel special, beautiful and loved. I never cared about looks etc. He's funny, caring, loved kids, just wanted to make me happy. 25 years later (July 19th) he still does. People need to look past the outside and see what's inside
I *most likely* have pcos and I am fat due to too many wrong hormones so I'll probably never be thin unless I get into menopause and hope for the best. I've always had beauty issues due to this sh!t society focused on weight. This article made me cry, now I know there is hope for me to find love. I know for sure my future husband is walking somewhere, we both just don't know it yet.
She is beautiful! People need to stop hating on people just because they can not see the beauty with in themselves. 🙄
Me, divorced with 4 kids, 240lbs. Him, divorced with 2 kids, 180lbs, successful electrician with money in the bank. Married 18.5 years and still in love. He saw my humor, craftiness, cooking skills, work ethic. He also saw my loyalty to him. He says the clincher was my homemade biscuits, though. Lol
I'm 40 lbs overweight and my ex-professional soccer player husband is the same size at 58 that he was at 18. He looks like he's in his 40s, as well. I don't even dye my hair. I was pretty hot when we met but was chunky, just like I am chunky now. He's 3 years younger than me but looks much younger than that. People probably think we don't fit either but here we are. Oddly enough, my 1st husband was also an ex-professional soccer player. I like athletic men. I have never been even slightly athletic.
This is so sad. How hard it is to beleive that some people out there really do just value who someone is, genuinely. I'm a woman and my entire life, whoever I'm dating, people bully the person I'm with about how they got lucky and I am way out of their league. It is so rude. I've always valued personality and it's the only thing I care about. So if I'm dating someone "overweight" "poor" and "unattractive" people just make a such a big deal about it. I like what I like. I like someone who treats me great and makes me laugh. Period.
When we go to Denny's my husband always takes a milkshake. Twice now the same waitress said to him that he can "afford" it. And she said it like it's a compliment. My husband does have a belly (not much) but it's mostly hidden when he sits down. I'm much bigger. He took it as a side-trash to me so he was insulted but didn't say anything - yet. If beauty was calculated in pounds, we wouldn't be together anymore. We met I was 80 lb. and he was 128 lb. TG it's not just about weight; we've been together 30+ years.
It's similar with my husband and I. He was taken off a medication several months ago and lost a noticeable amount of weight. I, on the other hand, have gained a bit since we got married, though I'm still wearing the same size. My mom commented on how I should lose weight too, since he's slimmed down. As if someone's gonna swoop down and steal my husband lol. My husband confessed to me that on our first date, he can't take his eyes off my full hips and thick thighs in skinny jeans. If I told my conservative Catholic mom this, she will clutch her pearls and faint 😂 Sometimes I feel like my body is a contentious piece of land up for an open argument. Everytime, my husband would remind me how he loves me for me, outside and inside.
Envy. That's all. People trying soo hard to be a 10/10 and olny gets a guy - 8/-9 who cheats and robs them. So all that negativity is just envy
I think this is negative people projecting their insecurities, not that it’s even remotely justifiable to say such horrid things to someone who is obviously happy in her own skin and in her relationship. People are jealous and society has made overweight people fair game. Good for her for making a stand. And I think they’re well matched! Don’t even see where the comments are coming from
Alicia is physically fit. You should see her workouts!!! She is so amazing. That vapid "10" needs a reality check
All the commenters at the bottom are all full of so much s**t, commenting how it's not fair that ppl question it, knowing full well they'd be the first to see them and be like, "WTH, why did this dude come with her". Also, a lot of ppl, look wise, fits to mirror this lady (overweight) so of course they're going to want to contribute to screaming no far, but I want to read what the attractive ppl - like in his league - say about it. Attractive ppls lives are just easier, everyone like looking at attractive ppl & they're more catered to when applying for jobs, etc., it's ingrained into our DNA to look for what they perceive as the most attractive counterparts - this isn't a learned behavior, it's been in our DNA since the beginning so, OF COURSE, seeing this couple is confusing as if he settled regardless as to whether that's actually true in their relationship.
I don't consider myself extremely attractive, but I've had people tell me I "can do better" or "ew" when I tell them who I'm attracted to. For me, people's personality merges with their face. If they're kind and funny, they become better looking in my eyes. If they're jerks, they become physically uglier to me. Like they could be a 10 by society's standards, but the moment they insult a puppy they instantly look like a 1.
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That as might be but it isn't at all the point. He values her for far more than her mere outward appearance.
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Although people shouldn’t make unkind comments you can understand why people question their relationship. Couples are not usually that disproportionately different looks wise. Let’s see where this couple is in a years time…
They've been together like 15 years already, I'm sure they'll still be together in a year.
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What a load of c**p. Everyone has different tastes, doesn't mean money or self esteem have anything to do with it. Your no better than all the other assholes thinking she is not worthy and that there must be another reason as to why he loves her besides the fact that he just does.
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You really don't know anything about her current diet or health, though.
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I like my privacy, but I don't mind learning from others who are less timid. Someone's public-facing presence doesn't really prompt me to put them down. If I disagree with someone, I'd rather ask questions or state my arguments in a civil manner. That said, there are the odd exceptions where I get a bit caustic, but a fat person with a fit person would not be one of them. So I do agree that being public leaves one more vulnerable to negative comments, but I don't condone backlash for something that harms no one.
Load More Replies... And the apps owned by China, so all the information downloaded to the app then China knows about it.
Load More Replies... Some people are trash, and insanely jealous. They're so vapid and their only asset is their half plastic body!
It amazes me that people have the audacity to be so incredibly rude about someone else's looks.
Something that's kind of getting overlooked in this article is his perspective. There are more reasons to get fit than just 'to pick up women.' Maybe it's something he enjoys doing, maybe he's been inspired to accomplish something, maybe he has been working hard to overcome his past unfit self, or maybe he just wants to look good for himself. We see a lot of stories like this from women when strangers assume that if they dress up or wear makeup, it's only because they want to get hit on.
Load More Replies... I have experienced the same except for us it's because I am disabled by chronic illness and am a wheelchair user. People don't get that my partner loves me; I've had people say he must be with me because he feels sorry for me, as well as cruel comments asking about our sex lives insinuating that he must "have a fetish" or worse that he must be cheating because everyone knows a disabled person can't have sex (sorry that's sarcasm do those who might miss the point). It can be really hurtful but he always challenges people on their attitude when he witnesses it. People just can't seem to see past my disability or my wheelchair, as if that's all I am. He would tell you a list of the reasons he loves me, and the only reason my health would be mentioned would be that he admires how I deal with all the pain and complications I have to deal with. I'm lucky but he would say he is too.
I totally understand. My disability is an invisible one (epilepsy), but I've had comments about why would my husband want to have a burden. I am dependent on him for just about everything (transportation, income, and depending what they are and what kind of day I'm having, simple house chores. I take up a lot of his free time, so people want to know why he wants to be with me. He's a very caring person and helping me doesn't bother me. We were friends long before we were married.
Load More Replies... So because she's bigger than him, she's not worthy of his love?! What are all these skinny people doing that makes them better than her, except for being skinny? They know nothing about her. Good for her for not letting the bullies stay anonymous, and calling them out. I wouldn't have the mental strength or patience to deal with all that hate. And she even tries to educate them....Seems like all they have are their thin bodies...What happens when they gain weight, and god forbid become fat..
Over my 45 years I have been as small as 105 lbs, and as big as 170 (without being pregnant), and I'm 5'5", so pretty short. Currently, I weigh about 115ish, and it HURTS. 😱 Who tf wants to sit on BONES?! They're HARD! As are most seats! Even a soft se sa t is uncomfortable after awhile if you have a couple broomsticks under your a**e! 😳🤣🤣 So, yeah, skinny people being skinny is NOT a special ability, nor something people should aspire to. 😊
Load More Replies... I'm overweight and my boyfriend absolutely LOVES how I look. He's a scrawny little thing that bikes and plays ice hockey. I'm a hippo that makes a mean chili when he's done training. He washes my hair in the shower and feeds me chocolate. I massage his shoulders and send him lame memes. We spend so much time in bed, it's not even funny. Screw ancient beauty nonsense.
I have never been accepted and loved like this, as myself. But your description of what a relationship can be just gave me a little bit of hope. Maybe I could be this lucky one day. 😊
Load More Replies... I can't tell you the amount of times I have heard a woman say," How is SHE married and I'm not?" My answer?? Probably because they have a decent personality instead of being a vapid salty cow.
Sounds like a bunch of jealous, catty women who have men that aren't as attractive or don't have one at all.
I guess that explains why dating apps, and casual sex took off. People got used to living for beauty, but after 10-20min of bed rocking there was nothing else... I was short chubby girl, he is 196cm tall and slim built, we spent together 5-6hours walking in the middle of the night, and then he moved to another country to be with me, we didn't get to sex till after 5months of living together and sharing a bed. Beauty won't last, but humour and ability to talk and listen, and support will outweigh any physical appearance.People who have criticized us since the beginning are the ones still jumping from person to person, like ticks never satisfied. You're beautiful, and couples that are connected on deeper level are better looking than two models on a photo. (wonder how many takes it took to get that photo). A whole generation has grown up comparing themselves to others and if you're below or above then you get hit by their insecurities. Wish you all the happiness and success!
Dating apps are useless. You are disregarded because people don’t think you are “hot”. They can make you feel even crappier about yourself. I think if you read a description about someone and you have something in common, you can at least communicate since it’s so hard to meet new people once you pass a certain age.
Load More Replies... I hear ya. Fortunately I've never had any comments but I have had stares when I have been out with my hubby. He is fit and good looking whilst I am obese and extremely unattractive, especially by societies beauty standards. We started dating when I was very slim and after 20 years and excess weight gain, he still finds me attractive.
“Extremely unattractive…” Well let me tell you, a lot of people write comments on BoredPanda. With three people I know before reading it, their comments are always going to be pleasant, thoughtful, insightful, sometimes witty and generally nice comments. And you are one of those three. So your physical appearance may be “extremely unattractive” (I'm gonna take your word on that), but to me your comments on BoredPanda are always “extremely attractive”! Now I suddenly feel the urge to go watch the movie ‘Shallow Hal’ again…
Load More Replies... One of the many reasons I deleted TikTok. It's a whole new level of toxic out there...
I've said it before and I'll say it again, when you love someone the sight of them makes your heart sing. Inside the packaging is the person you love, so that packaging fills your heart up.
I relate to this on a deep level. My husband is gorgeous, could be a model, and is 6 years younger than me. I almost turned him down because of the age difference. We have been together for 11 years, married for 8. I am very overweight and look my age. Yet he moved countries for me. Gave up everything he knew, (home, family, car, house) to move to a new country. I have had people say he just wanted to come to America (seriously? this country is a joke, he gave up free health care), that I must be rich (teachers are just hiding their wealth), and that they don't get it.
This is SO true. It shows up so much less when it's the other way round though as women are SUPPOSED to value men for who they are. This points out that society thinks men are SUPPOSED to value women's looks only. She IS beautiful but we should encourage our young children to date the person they like as beauty is fleeting. If you date when you're older this becomes more apparent to everyone. It takes a brave woman to point it out though, well done to her!!
This is why I don’t want to download tiktok. All of these stories only prove that it is a toxic environment
Gonna share this with my fellow incels so we can berate all the Instagram models who won't date us nice guys.
As we all know, people suck. As apparently very few know, she is a stunningly beautiful person. Her skin is so flawless, her hair is gorgeous, and that smile is outright contagious. Ngl, I wish I had that. I'm skinnier than her, but so what? She's beautiful and I know her husband sees what I see and so much more. Screw these vapid, jealous a$$holes. They found love with each other and the skinny trolls can't stand it. She's handling it with such an astounding amount of grace that it's no wonder Scott fell for her. She's gorgeous both inside and out.
If you go by marketing/Hollywood beauty standards my wife would score lower than me. I've had women message me like this guy gets (although he's pretty hunky so I bet he gets it way more than me). The first time I saw the woman who would be my wife I couldn't take my eyes off her. I thought there were more attractive people in the room, but she stood out. I spent the whole night trying to work up the courage to talk to her and she ends up handing me her number on a napkin as she's getting ready to leave. Turns out we were both doing the same thing. And she is the most shy person I know. We just chalk it up to fate
The list of couples where the woman is a perfect beauty stand doll and the guy isn't is infinit, huge! ohhh, the double standards
She doesn't worry about girls hitting on him because she trusts him implicitly. If she didn't I doubt they'd be together as trust is vital to a healthy relationship.
People who think looks are the only thing that attracts others, really have no assets that a partner would want.
"This aint adding up." "Then get a better math tutor." SLAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!
As a fat positive person I think that these people judging this couple are cringe tbh. Imagine being so insecure you have to throw someone shade to feel good about yourself. That said, I understand why the hateful comments happen; (though I don't agree with it) the overwhelming majority of humans are shallow and even the most ardent believer in health at any size probably is slightly lookist. I mean, people do it to guys too, (she's only with him because he's rich bla bla) or whatever. It's second nature to judge people aesthetically... it doesn't make it right. But we are judgmental as a species even when stuff doesn't involve us or we don't know the whole story. It's sad though and we should be better. People who concern troll for health reasons is BS-- there are so many things we do that are destructive that body policing is frankly ridiculous. Whether or not she's healthy or not is a none of our business and we can't judge as we are not her doctor. Also TikTok is just a scourge.
I'm a Gay man and this has happened to me in the past. I'm fat, bald and plain and the pretty boys could never understand why the hot guys would date me. Maybe because I would actually listen to them, I wasn't judgmental or superficial and I wasn't all about me. It was actually an ego booster being with these studs and having the queens who would rag on me be jealous.
Those comments make me feel sick. How dare people say that to any other human being? And I suspect they have a relationship that will stay the course as it's based on real things - love and character, rather than looks. I suspect lots of the couples that feature on the endless AITA articles here were attracted by looks and then married without really knowing each other.
I... I don't even know what to say honestly. She's beautiful, in my honest opinion, and her husband is very handsome. It's sad that people have to put other people down to feel good about themselves.
The comments were largely by women, so far as I could tell. How incredibly awful.
My husband has an athlete's body; always has been in shape since a child though he was never a jock really. But if he does just two workouts, his body tones and muscles get huge while my face will go a little slim from two months of dieting and working out. A girl in public actually looked between the two of us and when he said he drove across country to see me, she brazenly said, "all that way for HER?" I was so taken aback I couldn't even respond but my husband put his arm around me and said "of course." We don't make sense apart but people see us together and always say we are the most loving and in-love couple they know and how we just fit together because of HOW WE TREAT EACH OTHER NOT HOW WE LOOK.
Yeah, that's the reason why it is better to find partner based on personality. Body can change over time, people grow old, it is easier to be with right person.
Beautiful couple, his love for her and her for him is obvious, I don’t see anything else! Humans can be utter soulless nothings, pay them no notice
"Do you get jealous when people hit on your husband?" Wtf type of question is that? Why would you be jealous of another person's actions that your husband has nothing do with. People are strange.
just started following her for exactly this reason. the world needs people to be as matter-of-fact about weight/size/beauty as she is. she's in love. and that's awesome.
My husband is gorgeous, think Chow Yun Fat! Me. I'm really nothing to look at. Plain Jane with glasses. But we have been married for 35 years and our love continues to grow. Many years ago my husband thanked me for loving him for who he is and not what he looked like. I was blown away by that. Society would have me thanking him! Not the other way around. A persons soul, personality, heart is what makes them beautiful not what they look like. I've seen some people who are absolutely stunning but also absolutely ugly in their hearts.
It is interesting how none of the people leaving mean comments are taking her husband into consideration. He chose her. He fell in love with her. He married her. I think her husband is a personal trainer. If he is, he spends a good part of his day with shallow people focused only on physical beauty. He knows true beauty is deeper and lasts longer.
Not to mention undervaluing HIM as a human being. Thinking someone that.looks like that MUST be shallow
In the US, there used to be a rom/com TV show called Mike and Molly, about a fat couple who were in love. The show was very successful. At one point, the female lead told the producers that she wanted to try to lose weight and get healthy--she wanted to give them a heads-up for things like costume size changes, etc. The producers were horrified. "If you do that, we'll have to cancel the show!" "What?! Why?!" "Because a fat guy with a skinny girlfriend is just too unrealistic! Nobody would ever believe it! Either stay the size you are, or we're canceling the show!" She went public with what the producers had said, and yes, they canceled the show.
I loved that show. Melissa is beautiful and talented. Full Stop !
Load More Replies... Same for myself and my SO. We have been together more than 19 years. She is 13 years older than me. People look at us and wonder wtf. I fell for her looks as well as her personality and viewpoints on many things. Even after all of this time I would not change a thing and we are going as strong as ever.
Some people fall in love with the person, not their looks. Have I seen Pierce Broanon's wife or Hugh Jackman's?
Blah. It's so sad we have this culture. I spent most of my 20's thinking my only value was how "attractive" I was. And that being pretty was the rent of being alive and allowed in this world. I missed out on a lot! I ditched diet culture a couple years ago, gained 2kgs (all that for 2kgs.....) and finally had energy, no brain fog and was able to laugh again (I was able to push myself much harder while working out too, much more fun). People who want you for your body will always make you feel inferior. Believe it or not, not everyone buy into the whole "thin = beauty" - thankfully!
I think fat people have a problem. Wait, that came out worse than I meant. What I mean is if your fat it's ok as long as you're trying to get better and more healthy, but all these fat people who say "respect my body for what it is" and are all pro being plus sized that just makes me sick.
Asking others to respect our body for what it is means to actually respect us no matter what size. We are seen as invisible or not worthy of respect. That's what body positivity is actually about. It's not about encouraging others to be overweight/obese it's about feeling good about yourself. Feeling good about yourself is the first step in making positive changes. Having low self worth from being treated like s**t doesn't help. In saying all that, whether someone is trying to get better or not is none of your damn business. It is between them and their dr. You have absolutely no idea what that person is/has been going through.
Load More Replies... Your husband is awesome and is so much deeper than the skinny wench gives him credit for. Does he have any enlightened brothers? lol
Do I wish I had a boyfriend who looked like Scott? Yes. Do I think they're obviously in love and very cute and happy together? Even more yes. Being a bit jealous is fine, but stuff like those TT comments are horrible and just cruel. I'm a large woman myself and honestly dont like my picture taken because of it and if I saw comments like that I'd be devastated. She's a an amazingly strong person and an inspiration! I'm very happy for them.
These people are just plain rude and/or jealous. Everyone expects that people value them for who they are instead of their looks. But at the same time these exact same people write hateful comments like this. So maybe her husband loves here for who she is. Plus, he might not care about looks or she‘s fully his type. Who cares as long as they are happy together :).
What in the actual f**k is wrong with tik tok? I mean, I know shitty ppl are everywhere. But tik tok is a whole other world. I would never have thought that had I seen the original post. I think she's beautiful period. Some of the most attractive people I've dated are some of the most boring, shitty ever. Some of the "not so attractive" ppl have also been shitty... but for the most part the ppl I've been with who aren't conventionally attractive have been the most successful relationships I've had. I'm just saying that looks aren't s**t. Being with someone attractive because you're attractive is so stupid dude. Date the person who makes you feel good about yourself.. who loves you for who you are. Who listens. Who cares. Who doesn't have a wandering eye. Someone who appreciates you "flaws" & all... dating someone because they're attractive & that's it is so fucken shallow. Like... at that point you're saying to show off. Not because you care about them.
F*****G PREACH!!!!!! she took that like a champ. and you know what? BY SOCIETYS STANDARDS she has an a*s. and boobs for that matter. she just because shes not a size 0 makes him out of her league? shut the f**k up because you know damn well you can't get anyone like that. so keep your damn negative opinions off her page, you negative nancy.
Awww but they're so cute and look so happy together.. why would anyone say this stuff?
how terrible of the people who replied to her videos! they are an absolutely beautiful couple, and they look so tremendously happy. as she said, he is interested in her personality, not her body (which is beautiful in any case) . this is what is wrong with society! we base love off of beauty standards. we should base love off of who we love and why we love them, their personalities and their uniqueness. love is love, not beauty standards. we need to stop judging people and couples by what they look like! ❤️
The stupid courage people get when they’re behind a keyboard and a screen… the commenters are very obviously just jealous and insecure, but it still makes me mad. Such a loving, fashionable couple, and the first thing people say are insults to make themselves feel better about themselves.
Awww, great story. Happiest wishes to Alicia and Scott for a wonderful and long life together!
Love is love. Looks don’t matter a damn when love is lasting. We’re all going to grow old, so should really fall in love with a person’s intrinsic qualities not their surface appearance. She’s a gorgeous curvy woman and they love each other. Who’s business is it to criticize? No one else’s but theirs.
Love is love. I don't explain to people romantic love, as it's something I don't relate to, but it's not about numbers or things or money or anything quantifiable. If it were, I'd have figured it out. It's literally outside reason. Just be happy it happens at all.
Wait, toktok actually tells its moderators to cencor content from wpeople who are disable, poor and poc?? Ok, WHY are people using this trash app?
I can see that you and your hubby are a beautiful couple that love and respect each other. We unfortunately live in a world where people are so narrow minded that they forget the fundamental reasons for our existence on this earth. Stay blessed in love and light 🤍
There is no fundamental reason for our existence on this earth. We're just the more successful creatures since the last extinction event. Throughout Earth's multi billion year existence there is estimated to have been 5 extinction events, that each wiped out an overwhelming majority of the species at the time.
Load More Replies... To heck with those bullies. Youre pretty,smart and confident. You found a man who loves you for you. Those other people jealous they dont have a relationship that isnt just looks
My first girlfriend came to meet me after school I was doing grade 13 (the last year it existed). I told my buddy that she was meeting me after school. She was a pretty girl and I'm overweight, so as he and I walked out of school, she was walking up to the sidewalk we met at and as she got closer and closer and she was looking in his direction but at me, he started smiling as if she was there for him. He didn't think I could pull a hotty... oh well!
She loves him and he loves her! It’s lovely. My husband is really fit as well whereas I’ve been always chubby and hate excersise. Love happens in the heart ❤️
People always question Hugh Jackman and his adoration for his wife Deborra, who is somewhat chubby & 15 years older. A marriage/relationship that is based on physical looks is never going to last - what lasts is love, understanding, support, companionship and a shared sense of humor. Kudos to you for not listening to the haters.
Most nice men I meet say they like a woman depending on her attitude towards herself. If she loves her body, acts naturally, doesn't make it a problem, so do they. That said I was mostly criticized by other women, who thought a chubby woman can't be attractive to men. Which is not true.
Jealous! When people have that many questions and opinions about your life, they are SEVERELY lacking something in themselves. Just empty. I feel bad for them. Ya'll keep on being fabulous!!
I used to date a big girl and I was fit kinda like this dude. Never really been social media, and this was kinda before it all took off so, but I’m sure we got looks all the time, just like she gets these comments. Humans are just assholes, s**t, we see it even in the animal world..
I have nephews in a similar situation. One's not overly fit physically, but he does like to run, and we aren't a family that tends to be overweight. His wife is, by anyone's measures, heavy. She is also absolutely perfect for him and is an amazing, funny, smart, talented woman. We adore her. His younger brother is quite handsome. He just moved in with (and might just marry) a woman who isn't model pretty. My sister and niece met her at the older nephew's wedding and thought she was wonderful. My brother, SIL, and the youngest of their three sons have given their whole hearted endorsement of that relationship, as has her father. I can tell that both couples are happily, madly in love, and have found the best people for them. That is all that matters to me Looks fade. Character is forever. Screw those idiots that don't get it.
It's not about us Ladies, it's just some low end skags that has to come after our good looking husbands. The poor things are so deprived/depraved they can't know what makes a good marriage; stuff like putting up with the low end skags that come for him...
I commend you for the strength and self love you have radiating from your soul! I advocate for depression and suicide awareness and prevention, and you are so right about people being conditioned to believe that beauty only exists on the condition of your shell. I am disabled and spend my time chatting with many people that let that kind of poison into their minds and it festers there, until they learn to understand that those people that have those comments are more troubled than anyone they point their bullying to, or; unfortunately the internal fight against negativity, ultimately takes over and they decide that it is too much and they can not fight anymore. You are a beacon for others, and you keep that up! Thank you for giving us your story to share with all who need to learn that ugly only comes from the inside, and if someone is ugly inside, all the "beauty" they think they have.. is meaningless.
As someone who is still pretty fit after having 2 children, we always hear what a ‘beautiful family’ we are. However, my husband and I have had a very difficult marriage and, while physical attraction is great, we would both rather be married to people we had more in common with.
If I were a dude that had to choose between a pretty face and a winning personality, I’d go for the one I could stand having conversations with in the nursing home. And if I were a lady with a winning personality, you BET I could score almost any guy I want. Muscles are only one bonus, and they mean absolutely nothing without a great heart. Honestly, if this is a loving couple, they’re better than most power couples out there. (And besides, she’s not ugly, just heavy. It goes without saying that our beauty standards are meant to exclude people and scapegoat them.)
Some people are shallow and weird. My ex was a very good looking guy - by that I mean he seemed to be considered really attractive by everyone and got a lot of comments/attention. He once came to meet me at a work event. A female colleague, who was around 15 years older than me, made some comment when he walked in and kept staring at him. Later she approached me and said “Wow. You have done really well for yourself getting him.” I found it really offensive and kind of… lecherous. I wish I’d said something but I didn’t at the time.
That last statement was very powerful: it’s the way we think because it’s what we are taught, but it’s our responsibility to unlearn it - or something along those lines.
When I first started dating my husband, people said "He doesn't look like your type." Or what do you see in him? How can you date someone who doesn't like to go out like you? I fell in love because he made me feel special, beautiful and loved. I never cared about looks etc. He's funny, caring, loved kids, just wanted to make me happy. 25 years later (July 19th) he still does. People need to look past the outside and see what's inside
I *most likely* have pcos and I am fat due to too many wrong hormones so I'll probably never be thin unless I get into menopause and hope for the best. I've always had beauty issues due to this sh!t society focused on weight. This article made me cry, now I know there is hope for me to find love. I know for sure my future husband is walking somewhere, we both just don't know it yet.
She is beautiful! People need to stop hating on people just because they can not see the beauty with in themselves. 🙄
Me, divorced with 4 kids, 240lbs. Him, divorced with 2 kids, 180lbs, successful electrician with money in the bank. Married 18.5 years and still in love. He saw my humor, craftiness, cooking skills, work ethic. He also saw my loyalty to him. He says the clincher was my homemade biscuits, though. Lol
I'm 40 lbs overweight and my ex-professional soccer player husband is the same size at 58 that he was at 18. He looks like he's in his 40s, as well. I don't even dye my hair. I was pretty hot when we met but was chunky, just like I am chunky now. He's 3 years younger than me but looks much younger than that. People probably think we don't fit either but here we are. Oddly enough, my 1st husband was also an ex-professional soccer player. I like athletic men. I have never been even slightly athletic.
This is so sad. How hard it is to beleive that some people out there really do just value who someone is, genuinely. I'm a woman and my entire life, whoever I'm dating, people bully the person I'm with about how they got lucky and I am way out of their league. It is so rude. I've always valued personality and it's the only thing I care about. So if I'm dating someone "overweight" "poor" and "unattractive" people just make a such a big deal about it. I like what I like. I like someone who treats me great and makes me laugh. Period.
When we go to Denny's my husband always takes a milkshake. Twice now the same waitress said to him that he can "afford" it. And she said it like it's a compliment. My husband does have a belly (not much) but it's mostly hidden when he sits down. I'm much bigger. He took it as a side-trash to me so he was insulted but didn't say anything - yet. If beauty was calculated in pounds, we wouldn't be together anymore. We met I was 80 lb. and he was 128 lb. TG it's not just about weight; we've been together 30+ years.
It's similar with my husband and I. He was taken off a medication several months ago and lost a noticeable amount of weight. I, on the other hand, have gained a bit since we got married, though I'm still wearing the same size. My mom commented on how I should lose weight too, since he's slimmed down. As if someone's gonna swoop down and steal my husband lol. My husband confessed to me that on our first date, he can't take his eyes off my full hips and thick thighs in skinny jeans. If I told my conservative Catholic mom this, she will clutch her pearls and faint 😂 Sometimes I feel like my body is a contentious piece of land up for an open argument. Everytime, my husband would remind me how he loves me for me, outside and inside.
Envy. That's all. People trying soo hard to be a 10/10 and olny gets a guy - 8/-9 who cheats and robs them. So all that negativity is just envy
I think this is negative people projecting their insecurities, not that it’s even remotely justifiable to say such horrid things to someone who is obviously happy in her own skin and in her relationship. People are jealous and society has made overweight people fair game. Good for her for making a stand. And I think they’re well matched! Don’t even see where the comments are coming from
Alicia is physically fit. You should see her workouts!!! She is so amazing. That vapid "10" needs a reality check
All the commenters at the bottom are all full of so much s**t, commenting how it's not fair that ppl question it, knowing full well they'd be the first to see them and be like, "WTH, why did this dude come with her". Also, a lot of ppl, look wise, fits to mirror this lady (overweight) so of course they're going to want to contribute to screaming no far, but I want to read what the attractive ppl - like in his league - say about it. Attractive ppls lives are just easier, everyone like looking at attractive ppl & they're more catered to when applying for jobs, etc., it's ingrained into our DNA to look for what they perceive as the most attractive counterparts - this isn't a learned behavior, it's been in our DNA since the beginning so, OF COURSE, seeing this couple is confusing as if he settled regardless as to whether that's actually true in their relationship.
I don't consider myself extremely attractive, but I've had people tell me I "can do better" or "ew" when I tell them who I'm attracted to. For me, people's personality merges with their face. If they're kind and funny, they become better looking in my eyes. If they're jerks, they become physically uglier to me. Like they could be a 10 by society's standards, but the moment they insult a puppy they instantly look like a 1.
Load More Replies... That as might be but it isn't at all the point. He values her for far more than her mere outward appearance.
Load More Replies... Although people shouldn’t make unkind comments you can understand why people question their relationship. Couples are not usually that disproportionately different looks wise. Let’s see where this couple is in a years time…
They've been together like 15 years already, I'm sure they'll still be together in a year.
Load More Replies... What a load of c**p. Everyone has different tastes, doesn't mean money or self esteem have anything to do with it. Your no better than all the other assholes thinking she is not worthy and that there must be another reason as to why he loves her besides the fact that he just does.
Load More Replies... You really don't know anything about her current diet or health, though.
Load More Replies... I like my privacy, but I don't mind learning from others who are less timid. Someone's public-facing presence doesn't really prompt me to put them down. If I disagree with someone, I'd rather ask questions or state my arguments in a civil manner. That said, there are the odd exceptions where I get a bit caustic, but a fat person with a fit person would not be one of them. So I do agree that being public leaves one more vulnerable to negative comments, but I don't condone backlash for something that harms no one.
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