Woman Ruins Her Engagement With A Silly Inside Joke She Won’t Stop Making, Is Surprised When Girlfriend Takes Back The Ring
Recently, a story from a 25-year-old woman caught everyone’s attention on the AITA subreddit. The author wrote how her girlfriend Molly picked up a joke a while back that she didn’t like.
“I’ve already made clear that I don’t like. It consists of her saying ‘No’ quickly to anything I ask,” the Redditor who goes by the handle TAGFNo wrote. This may sound silly, the author added, but it really got on her nerves and she demanded that Molly never make it again.
It soon turned out the promise didn’t last long. Worse, Molly saw no problem in pulling her joke in front of TAGFNo’s whole family during a very special moment that everyone was meticulously planning. Read on to find out what happened below.
Recently, a woman shared how she cancelled her proposal to her girlfriend after she pulled an annoying joke in front of the whole family
Image credits: Gustavo Fring (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)
Although it’s considered one of the most important and beautiful moments, a proposal goes hand in hand with both excitement and anxiety. The pressure to have the most memorable ‘I Do’ moment is through the roof, so it’s easier to make a mistake.
According to the survey commissioned by The Knot, “proposing with no ring” was ranked number one as the biggest engagement faux pas. The same survey also showed that most women deemed “proposing in public” and “proposing in front of friends or family” the biggest blunders an aspiring fiance could make.
Speaking of public, 58 percent of respondents also noted that the site of their first date is the best place to propose. So it’s quite likely to be a public space, but with no relatives in the picture.
Many people expressed their support for the author and said her girlfriend was wrong to act like this in that situation
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Why even consider proposing to someone like that? She sounds like an insufferable child.
This person took what should have been the greatest moment in your life (until that point, anyhow) and turned it into a lame joke that she explicitly knows you don't like. This person knew the joke would ruin the moment for you, but she demonstrated that she values her own passing amusement over your happiness. Dump her, she's immature and selfish.
She doesn’t respect your wishes and y’all aren’t even married yet. She’ll do it at the alter most likely and imagine when children are involved. I would take it as a sign that she isn’t the one. If she can respect a simply request it’s only the tip of the iceburg for what’s to come
I hate it when people do that! There is absolutely nothing funny at all about it, in any way.
I used to do it, but only to someone who was bossy and thought he could order me around. It would be better if she didnt joke and just said no. Can you get me this, that, do this, do that. Lol reminds me of a guy who said he stayed single, because women were like ambulances, same sound. Do-this do-that
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Not ah. She is not mature enough. Move on. Also occasionally I'll do the "no" to my husband and he laughs. But it's not all the time. He knows it's a joke. He does it back. We don't do it all the time. Sometimes it's nawwww too. She's a kid. She does that when u propose? No. Not worth it. And won't change. That was the no from her you needed. The last one.
We have a similar inside joke with my partner. On things that are not serious and doesn't inflict humiliation or is about serious household decisions, life plans. I think this is disproportionate relationship, she takes enjoyment making you uncomfortable, but gets upset when things are reversed. I would take time off to seriously consider what life would be like with her in future? Maybe she will also grow with the time, but habits die hard, and since she is unable.to control herself and her mouth then I wouldn't be running back anytime soon. How can you marry her? During wedding vows wil she jokingly day No? Because in some.cases that could be seen as forced wedding and any officiate must take this seriously. That would be even bigger issue. There is so many potential bad consequences to this No game. I cannot see as this being funny in any situation. If it be a man joking on woman we would be seeing red. Domestic violence has many forms, and victim is blamed for not taking the jo
I wonder if the GF is autistic? Maybe she really can't distinguish between an Ok and not Ok situation to make this joke. I think it might also explain why she's so stuck with this particular joke (it's her way of mastering an "ironic" remark, which she might find difficult in general...) Can someone with autism confirm/dismiss my theory?
I’ll dismiss it. Being autistic can make it very hard to understand if your behaviour is annoying but if someone tells you clearly that behaviour X is not acceptable then you stop doing it. The GF had been told, multiple times, to stop this - did so for a while then went right back to it. That’s far more entitlement than autism.
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It's interesting that the OP's family supported her in this and the GF's family didn't and started up with the critisism and shaming already. What kind of hell would this marriage be? Proposing is SO personal and special. Not the time for jokes. My step dad used to do something like this all the time. If we said , "Can I......go to Sue's, go to the store, call Grandmom...." he'd get his antagonistic AH face on and say, "I don't know, CAN you?" The idea being you were supposed to say, "May I..." Every. time. It was a kind of abusive control BS. I hope the OP rethinks all this. I bet there's a few things going on that are unkind red flags.
I do this with my big sister, but I would never do it in a serious situation. The girlfriend sounds to immature to be getting married anyway. I don't understand why people get humiliated and want to blame everyone else for their embarrassment.
Ask yourself, do you want to live with her making this joke the rest of your life? Do you want to live with a person who keeps on doing it, even after being repeatedly asked to stop? Do you want to live with someone who will do this at what you are trying to make a beautiful romatic moment? This is not the time to get engaged; this is the time for the two of you to go to relationship counselling and work out why she's doing this. Maybe also get her to have a brain scan in case she has a brain tumor.
She was humiliated by OP wtaf sorry but she jokingly said no and humiliated OP it takes courage to propose I would of done same I’m sorry but no one jokes like this especially as she clarified time and time she didn’t like this joke
Hard pass. OP, save yourself the cost of a marriage and divorce by leaving. She sounds like a bratty child. It's bad enough to make the same "joke" over and over again in non-serious situations but doing it at the marriage proposal is pretty bad. Hey she said "no" so take her seriously. I couldn't imagine being in a relationship like that, let alone marrying someone.
Hope he shows her the responses given above. She needs to grow up.
You made the right choice. She is clearly not matured yet and has no respect for your feelings or boundaries. People who really care about you do not continue to do things that hurt, bother, upset, or harm you in anyway. People who don't respect and care about you do exactly what she's doing. Her behavior is the red flag and you've made a wise decision. Not only should you call it off, you should probably breakup all together. You deserve better and there's no excuse for her continuing to upset you. It was intentional and that tells you all you need to know.
Okay, I admittedly do this joke where I'll get asked to do something and I'll say no. But I typically say no while I'm doing said thing. Plus I do it for little things. Not a damn proposal!! Hot damn girl I get the joke but don't over do it. And that's beyond over done. You gotta use a joke like seasoning, you sprinkle it around, too much and it's unpalatable
She’s not even doing the joke right, you’re supposed to say “no” as you’re obviously getting up to do/doing the thing they asked… waiting for the person to get up to do it themselves before saying you were “just joking” is just you purposefully trying to inconvenience and irritate them, especially after they’ve already told you that they don’t like it
She is an abuser that doesn't give a sh#t about you and your feelings. Drop her like a hot potato and get a life you can truly be happy in.
It takes TWO people to enjoy a joke. Not just one and another hurt person.
I feel for these two because as a Venn diagram there doesn't seemed to be a whole lot in common. From the OPs words it's right outcome. It doesn't appear to be a balanced, healthy, partnership. I hear a lot of 'her behaviour is unacceptable'. What I read is I ask for a lot but I don't get instant satisfaction. What probably started as a joke for the GF may have turned into resentment. I suspect it's not funny for either of them. I've also never understood the whole let's make it a very public affair. I recently went to an engagement surprise party for my niece. If that's what they both want then fair enough, but I'm not sure you can confidently say that unless you've had the conversation. We pick our battles and for the OP the not so funny no, hurts. For the GF she doesn't care enough to stop, These guys would know by now if they could compromise.
It sounds like it's become a compulsion for her. I doubt it's intentional at this point. Or perhaps you ask her to do too much. Sounds like the water example you were both capable etc. maybe this was her way of trying to create boundaries without directly confronting you because she didn't know how to tell you that you ask for too much. Maybe she has a diversity. Maybe many things. It sounds like in the moment you have said you didn't like it. It doesn't sound like you sat with her out of the moment to calmly express how upsetting it is to you. But also to determine what your role may be. You should not marry her or anyone if you cannot communicate your needs and boundaries clearly and non judgmentally. While also seeking to understand your partner Partners will do many things that are not your favourite throughout a marriage, because they are human, and humans do not change just to please others. Maybe you could work out if you went to counselling to learn effective communication
Sadly it sounds like she's too immature to 'adult' I have an 8 year old Nephew who says things like this. If they do get back together then maybe the shock of the so called 'humiliation' for being so insensitive will stop her from.acting like a child again
Yes. It is normal. SO heads to the kitchen "Hey, can you get me a glass of water?", you walk by SO relaxing on the sofa "Hey, can you hand me my phone?" SO forgets the hamper exists "Please pick up your dirty underwear.". SO keeps leaving the cabinet doors open, "Can you shut the door when you are done? I hit my head again." All quite normal in relationships.
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Why even consider proposing to someone like that? She sounds like an insufferable child.
This person took what should have been the greatest moment in your life (until that point, anyhow) and turned it into a lame joke that she explicitly knows you don't like. This person knew the joke would ruin the moment for you, but she demonstrated that she values her own passing amusement over your happiness. Dump her, she's immature and selfish.
She doesn’t respect your wishes and y’all aren’t even married yet. She’ll do it at the alter most likely and imagine when children are involved. I would take it as a sign that she isn’t the one. If she can respect a simply request it’s only the tip of the iceburg for what’s to come
I hate it when people do that! There is absolutely nothing funny at all about it, in any way.
I used to do it, but only to someone who was bossy and thought he could order me around. It would be better if she didnt joke and just said no. Can you get me this, that, do this, do that. Lol reminds me of a guy who said he stayed single, because women were like ambulances, same sound. Do-this do-that
Load More Replies... Not ah. She is not mature enough. Move on. Also occasionally I'll do the "no" to my husband and he laughs. But it's not all the time. He knows it's a joke. He does it back. We don't do it all the time. Sometimes it's nawwww too. She's a kid. She does that when u propose? No. Not worth it. And won't change. That was the no from her you needed. The last one.
We have a similar inside joke with my partner. On things that are not serious and doesn't inflict humiliation or is about serious household decisions, life plans. I think this is disproportionate relationship, she takes enjoyment making you uncomfortable, but gets upset when things are reversed. I would take time off to seriously consider what life would be like with her in future? Maybe she will also grow with the time, but habits die hard, and since she is unable.to control herself and her mouth then I wouldn't be running back anytime soon. How can you marry her? During wedding vows wil she jokingly day No? Because in some.cases that could be seen as forced wedding and any officiate must take this seriously. That would be even bigger issue. There is so many potential bad consequences to this No game. I cannot see as this being funny in any situation. If it be a man joking on woman we would be seeing red. Domestic violence has many forms, and victim is blamed for not taking the jo
I wonder if the GF is autistic? Maybe she really can't distinguish between an Ok and not Ok situation to make this joke. I think it might also explain why she's so stuck with this particular joke (it's her way of mastering an "ironic" remark, which she might find difficult in general...) Can someone with autism confirm/dismiss my theory?
I’ll dismiss it. Being autistic can make it very hard to understand if your behaviour is annoying but if someone tells you clearly that behaviour X is not acceptable then you stop doing it. The GF had been told, multiple times, to stop this - did so for a while then went right back to it. That’s far more entitlement than autism.
Load More Replies... It's interesting that the OP's family supported her in this and the GF's family didn't and started up with the critisism and shaming already. What kind of hell would this marriage be? Proposing is SO personal and special. Not the time for jokes. My step dad used to do something like this all the time. If we said , "Can I......go to Sue's, go to the store, call Grandmom...." he'd get his antagonistic AH face on and say, "I don't know, CAN you?" The idea being you were supposed to say, "May I..." Every. time. It was a kind of abusive control BS. I hope the OP rethinks all this. I bet there's a few things going on that are unkind red flags.
I do this with my big sister, but I would never do it in a serious situation. The girlfriend sounds to immature to be getting married anyway. I don't understand why people get humiliated and want to blame everyone else for their embarrassment.
Ask yourself, do you want to live with her making this joke the rest of your life? Do you want to live with a person who keeps on doing it, even after being repeatedly asked to stop? Do you want to live with someone who will do this at what you are trying to make a beautiful romatic moment? This is not the time to get engaged; this is the time for the two of you to go to relationship counselling and work out why she's doing this. Maybe also get her to have a brain scan in case she has a brain tumor.
She was humiliated by OP wtaf sorry but she jokingly said no and humiliated OP it takes courage to propose I would of done same I’m sorry but no one jokes like this especially as she clarified time and time she didn’t like this joke
Hard pass. OP, save yourself the cost of a marriage and divorce by leaving. She sounds like a bratty child. It's bad enough to make the same "joke" over and over again in non-serious situations but doing it at the marriage proposal is pretty bad. Hey she said "no" so take her seriously. I couldn't imagine being in a relationship like that, let alone marrying someone.
Hope he shows her the responses given above. She needs to grow up.
You made the right choice. She is clearly not matured yet and has no respect for your feelings or boundaries. People who really care about you do not continue to do things that hurt, bother, upset, or harm you in anyway. People who don't respect and care about you do exactly what she's doing. Her behavior is the red flag and you've made a wise decision. Not only should you call it off, you should probably breakup all together. You deserve better and there's no excuse for her continuing to upset you. It was intentional and that tells you all you need to know.
Okay, I admittedly do this joke where I'll get asked to do something and I'll say no. But I typically say no while I'm doing said thing. Plus I do it for little things. Not a damn proposal!! Hot damn girl I get the joke but don't over do it. And that's beyond over done. You gotta use a joke like seasoning, you sprinkle it around, too much and it's unpalatable
She’s not even doing the joke right, you’re supposed to say “no” as you’re obviously getting up to do/doing the thing they asked… waiting for the person to get up to do it themselves before saying you were “just joking” is just you purposefully trying to inconvenience and irritate them, especially after they’ve already told you that they don’t like it
She is an abuser that doesn't give a sh#t about you and your feelings. Drop her like a hot potato and get a life you can truly be happy in.
It takes TWO people to enjoy a joke. Not just one and another hurt person.
I feel for these two because as a Venn diagram there doesn't seemed to be a whole lot in common. From the OPs words it's right outcome. It doesn't appear to be a balanced, healthy, partnership. I hear a lot of 'her behaviour is unacceptable'. What I read is I ask for a lot but I don't get instant satisfaction. What probably started as a joke for the GF may have turned into resentment. I suspect it's not funny for either of them. I've also never understood the whole let's make it a very public affair. I recently went to an engagement surprise party for my niece. If that's what they both want then fair enough, but I'm not sure you can confidently say that unless you've had the conversation. We pick our battles and for the OP the not so funny no, hurts. For the GF she doesn't care enough to stop, These guys would know by now if they could compromise.
It sounds like it's become a compulsion for her. I doubt it's intentional at this point. Or perhaps you ask her to do too much. Sounds like the water example you were both capable etc. maybe this was her way of trying to create boundaries without directly confronting you because she didn't know how to tell you that you ask for too much. Maybe she has a diversity. Maybe many things. It sounds like in the moment you have said you didn't like it. It doesn't sound like you sat with her out of the moment to calmly express how upsetting it is to you. But also to determine what your role may be. You should not marry her or anyone if you cannot communicate your needs and boundaries clearly and non judgmentally. While also seeking to understand your partner Partners will do many things that are not your favourite throughout a marriage, because they are human, and humans do not change just to please others. Maybe you could work out if you went to counselling to learn effective communication
Sadly it sounds like she's too immature to 'adult' I have an 8 year old Nephew who says things like this. If they do get back together then maybe the shock of the so called 'humiliation' for being so insensitive will stop her from.acting like a child again
Yes. It is normal. SO heads to the kitchen "Hey, can you get me a glass of water?", you walk by SO relaxing on the sofa "Hey, can you hand me my phone?" SO forgets the hamper exists "Please pick up your dirty underwear.". SO keeps leaving the cabinet doors open, "Can you shut the door when you are done? I hit my head again." All quite normal in relationships.
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