Woman Storms Out From A Dinner With Boyfriend After He Claims His Dog Thinks She’s Ugly
Relationships are a tricky game to play. Even when you venture into the dating arena, look for the perfect match, and find that dreamy soulmate-level connection, that’s not to say you’re meant to spend the rest of your lives together. Because eventually, the rose-tinted glasses come off, and you’re off to encounter your partner’s flaws you had no idea they had in the first place.
A 25-year-old woman has recently found herself in precisely this situation that led to a heated argument and a canceled date. As Reddit user LauraJade2013 detailed in her AITA confession, her relationship with Michael was pretty smooth-sailing until things took a bizarre turn. See, after Michael invited her to his house to meet his dog, she couldn’t believe her ears when the pet allegedly criticized her appearance.
“This shocked me completely,” the woman wrote. “I looked at Michael and asked if he was serious.” Turns out, he was. Scroll down to read the story in full, as well as the reactions from the AITA community. Keep reading to also find our interview with relationship coach Marta, the founder of MyCoachMarta. Then let us know what you think of the whole relationship drama in the comments!
This woman thought she was going to have a pleasant evening by going to her boyfriend’s house to cook dinner
Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo)
But things took a bizarre turn when his dog allegedly criticized her appearance
Image credits: Shawn Ho (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LauraJade2013
After reading the story, the AITA community expressed overwhelming support for the woman and deemed the boyfriend to be in the wrong for using his dog to insult her. Many sounded the alarm on the relationship dynamics, and some even urged her to break up with him.
The story seems to have deeply resonated with many. After all, we all know that only a few things can make you as thrilled to bits as those early weeks of a new relationship. The idea of love makes you feel like walking in a fog of bliss, hoping your partnership will become a solid entity. But an apparent match made in heaven can potentially cloud your judgment and make you miss the common pitfalls and red flags waving straight at your face.
According to Marta, founder of MyCoachMarta, relationships may crumble when masks come off by the four-month mark. “Few people can maintain a façade in the name of dating for much longer,” she told Bored Panda.
When asked about the tendency to turn a blind eye to red flags at the start of the relationship, Marta told us, “What’s obviously toxic behavior to one person can feel like home to another.”
“Red flag sensitivity will therefore vary from person to person, depending on their personal history. For example, someone used to having their feelings invalidated or emotional needs neglected won’t notice gaslighting as readily as someone brought up around emotional safety and attunement,” she explained.
When partners cannot accept the consequences of their actions and blame us instead, it implies that they are not relationally healthy or emotionally mature. “Whether the partner is correct in being upset or not, the outcome of any communication is in the response of the receiver.”
“In a healthy relationship, the initial response to the partner being hurt by our words is validation and an apology. Passing the blame is immature at best and a marker for denying the reality of the other partner’s experience, which is a type of crazy-making emotional abuse,” Marta warned.
Situations like this one can cause emotional havoc. They lead to unnecessary tension and unhealthy challenges and can grow into more serious issues with time. “Despite the fact that psychological or emotional manipulation doesn’t produce obvious bruises, it nonetheless always leaves a mark since abuse is abuse regardless of whether it is visible or not,” Marta mentioned the impact toxic relationships have on us.
“For the benefit of our future relationships, we must take some time to reflect and heal after ending any unhealthy relationship.”
The biggest problem with dysfunctional relationships is that we repeat them compulsively with different partners, Marta argued. “We run the risk of repeatedly encountering the same situations if we don’t face the fact that something about these dynamics matches our internal relational blueprint.”
“This is difficult to face, but relationally healthy people choose relationally healthy people. We all have built-in unconscious radars for our romantic preferences, so if we find ourselves in toxic relationships, we need to address the aspects of ourselves that attract us to them.”
To anyone finding themselves in perplexing situations with their partners, Marta was kind enough to share her insights on looking for a way out. “All relationships occasionally experience weird situations and misunderstandings. You should always feel comfortable telling your partner when something doesn’t sit right with you or when their behavior upsets you.”
“Be cautious if expressing your concerns is treated with defensiveness or contempt. If a pattern persists, changing it could need more introspective, extensive work.”
Relationship coach Marta suggested reflecting on three particular areas:
- Which of your needs are consistently not met across your relationships?
- In what ways do you not honor your values, standards, or boundaries?
- What poor behaviors do you tend to tolerate?
Once you answer these questions truthfully, you can move on to establishing clear boundaries and expectations in your relationships, both with yourself and your partner.
We’re curious to hear your thoughts about this story. Do you think the woman overreacted? Or were her actions completely justified? Feel free to share your opinions with us in the comments down below, we’d love to hear them!
Readers overwhelmingly sided with the woman and sounded the alarm about the relationship, here’s what they had to say
The one person who asked, "Why are you questioning yourself?" Because of the sister. 90% of these are always like, something happened, I reacted, thought it was a normal, but then somebody else who I thought cared about me told me I acted out of turn. Because, when someone close to you tells you yta, of course you start to second guess yourself. So people turn to the internet for a wider opinion. Forget the guy, he's just some jerk. It's the sister I don't get, here. I rarely understand that role in these posts.
The OP says she has problems with self esteem. It may be that comes with how they were both treated when growing up, and the sister thinks she should be grateful for attention. Not defending it, because if that's the case, she needs some therapy!
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The dog was saying 'run girl, run' Its a common mistake when you translate puppy>hooman
Absolutely, poor baby was trying to warn her
Load More Replies... It’s a f*****g dog. It doesn’t have a sense of people‘s attarctiveness. That guy is an idiot and maybe a bit crazy too
Yeah when he wouldn't let her meet his dog for four months because he is "protective of her" umm what???
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I was thinking that. I’d be like well he’s all yours sis, good luck. I’ll remember to tell you you’re being stupid when he treats you like c**p. Ye gods this man is a tool
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My cat says this guy is a walking red flag, and your sister is a jerk. Ask your self if you really want to be in a relationship with a guy who is going to call you ugly, blame his dog for it, and gaslight you. This is how he's treating you at month 4, when you have come over to cook him dinner. It's not going to get better. He's going to peck away at your self-esteem and make you miserable. Dump his a*s and get a cat.
Why would you shrug off someone calling you ugly?! Why do these stories always include some family member wanting you to have no standards or boundaries?!
There are unfortunately a lot of abusive families with no boundaries.
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My dog has told me she's not sure if she likes this strange person yet, but she's never told me that someone is ugly.
Seriously, OP needs to believe all the people telling her that dogs don't think like that. HE is the AH for anthropomorphising his dog so he could insult you. Bin him asap is my advice.
Regardless of what he said about insecurity and the rest - THE MAN THINKS HIS DOG TALKS TO HIM. Isn't that enough of a reason to ditch him?
Dogs don't even care about your face, though. They mostly recognize your scent.
The dog could have though she smelled bad, though.
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"Run like the wind?" Should be 'run like a Category 5 hurricane.'
4 months is a long time not to go to huis house. He sounds weird. I am curious what this "moving funny" is. This was so vague and ambiguous.
Animals weren't given any sense of beauty or ugliness. They don't judge any human in that manner, and only recognize kindness or meanness. It sounds as if your "boyfriend," if you want to call it that, is the one who is truly ugly with that kind of mindset and attitude. Your sister is right there with him, and you need to go NC with both of them, and any others who tell you you're "being "too sensitive"." Sounds like you're in with a bunch of losers, frankly.
Well, great, now I'm going to be self-conscious wondering if my cat thinks I'm ugly...
Oh lord I don't even know where to start lol this boyfriend clearly needs a mental health evaluation if he really believes his dog is telling him specific things like that...the talking about future things like marriage when you haven't even lived together also seems a bit off to me as well...this is not a healthy relationship and since it's only been 4 months run girl run!
Your boyfriend is an idiot. If he was smart, he would say that his dog fell in love with you.
Michael's dog needs to get a new doggo to jerk translation device. Clearly it is either completely on the fritz and mistranslating, or it was cutting out words when doggy was trying to warn OP to flee before the relationship turned ugly.
The dog did absolutely nothing. The bf is a manipulative pos. No idea what the beef of the sister is but since I barely speak to mine, I can safely say, that it's often not a good idea to ask the opinion of a sibling on matters that are close to our hearts. Asvice on how to repair a heater or what caterer to use for a party? Totally. Advice on life joices? God no!
it says that later he still claimed it was "something the dog did", and started saying OP needs to get over her insecurities for their eventual marriage. to me, it kinda sounds like he didn't mean it as a joke
Load More Replies... The one person who asked, "Why are you questioning yourself?" Because of the sister. 90% of these are always like, something happened, I reacted, thought it was a normal, but then somebody else who I thought cared about me told me I acted out of turn. Because, when someone close to you tells you yta, of course you start to second guess yourself. So people turn to the internet for a wider opinion. Forget the guy, he's just some jerk. It's the sister I don't get, here. I rarely understand that role in these posts.
The OP says she has problems with self esteem. It may be that comes with how they were both treated when growing up, and the sister thinks she should be grateful for attention. Not defending it, because if that's the case, she needs some therapy!
Load More Replies... The dog was saying 'run girl, run' Its a common mistake when you translate puppy>hooman
Absolutely, poor baby was trying to warn her
Load More Replies... It’s a f*****g dog. It doesn’t have a sense of people‘s attarctiveness. That guy is an idiot and maybe a bit crazy too
Yeah when he wouldn't let her meet his dog for four months because he is "protective of her" umm what???
Load More Replies... I was thinking that. I’d be like well he’s all yours sis, good luck. I’ll remember to tell you you’re being stupid when he treats you like c**p. Ye gods this man is a tool
Load More Replies... My cat says this guy is a walking red flag, and your sister is a jerk. Ask your self if you really want to be in a relationship with a guy who is going to call you ugly, blame his dog for it, and gaslight you. This is how he's treating you at month 4, when you have come over to cook him dinner. It's not going to get better. He's going to peck away at your self-esteem and make you miserable. Dump his a*s and get a cat.
Why would you shrug off someone calling you ugly?! Why do these stories always include some family member wanting you to have no standards or boundaries?!
There are unfortunately a lot of abusive families with no boundaries.
Load More Replies... My dog has told me she's not sure if she likes this strange person yet, but she's never told me that someone is ugly.
Seriously, OP needs to believe all the people telling her that dogs don't think like that. HE is the AH for anthropomorphising his dog so he could insult you. Bin him asap is my advice.
Regardless of what he said about insecurity and the rest - THE MAN THINKS HIS DOG TALKS TO HIM. Isn't that enough of a reason to ditch him?
Dogs don't even care about your face, though. They mostly recognize your scent.
The dog could have though she smelled bad, though.
Load More Replies... "Run like the wind?" Should be 'run like a Category 5 hurricane.'
4 months is a long time not to go to huis house. He sounds weird. I am curious what this "moving funny" is. This was so vague and ambiguous.
Animals weren't given any sense of beauty or ugliness. They don't judge any human in that manner, and only recognize kindness or meanness. It sounds as if your "boyfriend," if you want to call it that, is the one who is truly ugly with that kind of mindset and attitude. Your sister is right there with him, and you need to go NC with both of them, and any others who tell you you're "being "too sensitive"." Sounds like you're in with a bunch of losers, frankly.
Well, great, now I'm going to be self-conscious wondering if my cat thinks I'm ugly...
Oh lord I don't even know where to start lol this boyfriend clearly needs a mental health evaluation if he really believes his dog is telling him specific things like that...the talking about future things like marriage when you haven't even lived together also seems a bit off to me as well...this is not a healthy relationship and since it's only been 4 months run girl run!
Your boyfriend is an idiot. If he was smart, he would say that his dog fell in love with you.
Michael's dog needs to get a new doggo to jerk translation device. Clearly it is either completely on the fritz and mistranslating, or it was cutting out words when doggy was trying to warn OP to flee before the relationship turned ugly.
The dog did absolutely nothing. The bf is a manipulative pos. No idea what the beef of the sister is but since I barely speak to mine, I can safely say, that it's often not a good idea to ask the opinion of a sibling on matters that are close to our hearts. Asvice on how to repair a heater or what caterer to use for a party? Totally. Advice on life joices? God no!
it says that later he still claimed it was "something the dog did", and started saying OP needs to get over her insecurities for their eventual marriage. to me, it kinda sounds like he didn't mean it as a joke
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