Woman Pregnant With Twins Has To Find A Lawyer Because Her Ex’s New GF With Fertility Issues Treats Her Like A Surrogate
When Reddit goes all serious and tells you to immediately get a lawyer, you know that something’s up and things can go really bad. It’s like Instagram telling you to take a break from scrolling, Facebook not showing any ads, or Twitter suddenly being respectful of different points of view in a discussion. In other words, when that happens, things are about to go down.
Redditor Throwaway-twinmama, who lives on the East Coast, shared a very personal and frightening story with the AITA community, asking for advice on whether she was doing the right thing. The woman is pregnant with twins and the father, Joe, had gone back to his ex-girlfriend, Kim, already. However, both Joe and Kim want to be involved in the pregnancy, the birth process, and raising the kids.
Only one problem—Kim is way too invested in the process. So much so that she wants one of the twins and it’s really scaring Throwaway-twinmama. The redditor called her out on it, but after she turned to Reddit for advice, things took an even darker turn. Check the full story out below, dear Pandas. It’s a wild one today.
A woman who’s pregnant with twins shared the bizarre and frightening way that her ex’s girlfriend has been acting
Image credits: distelAPPArath (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Throwaway-twinmama
Other internet users convinced the mother-to-be to seek legal help
Later on, the woman posted an update: her ex’s gf went berserk after she saw the story on Reddit
Image credits: Throwaway-twinmama
Throwaway-twinmama’s story would have made pretty much anyone uneasy with how little Kim and Joe cared about her boundaries, treating the redditor as though she were a surrogate.
The family situation was complicated as it was, but Kim made things even more difficult by constantly barraging the redditor with advice about her body, throwing a gender reveal party without inviting the mom-to-be, and implying that she wants one of the children.
We try not to judge people too much, but Kim scares the bejesus outta me and I can’t help but offer the same advice that the AITA community gave: get a lawyer. And that’s exactly what Throwaway-twinmama did. She also spoke about what’s happening to the police. So far, there’s nothing much that they can do.
The redditor’s even considering moving to a different state to make sure that a separate set of laws applies to her children and the kooky couple have less of a claim to them. But if you thought that Kim would sit quietly and wait for things to happen naturally, you were wrong. She actually went full-on rage mode, destroying the mom-to-be’s belongings.
After somebody sent Kim the link to the redditor’s post on the AITA subreddit, she went to the twin mom’s job. She then proceeded to damage her car, broke a lot of office windows, and scared the kids that the redditor works with.
Here’s what the members of the AITA community on Reddit have been saying
And here’s what people elsewhere on the internet said after reading the mind-boggling story
Image credits: handsfullmama
Image credits: Broadwaybandit5
Image credits: LaurenBrown64
Image credits: asstr0n0my
Image credits: JuicyFruit0403
What did you think of the story, dear Pandas? What would you do in Throwaway-twinmama’s complicated situation? Do you have any advice for people who might be in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and tips in the comment section below.
I wouldn't let Kim have custody of a crayon! The suggestions above that the couple could have deliberately broken up to get someone else pregnant might not be far off the mark. It's certainly possible given Kim's craziness. Lawyers and a move to another state are definitely in order.
This whole situation sounds like a movie that’s waiting to be written. It seems insane, but would definitely make a good movie
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If Kim's behaviour escalates it will lead to her trying to kidnap your babies (this may sound extreme but it seems to be heading that way). You have a lawyer so get far away.
Given what we just read, I wouldn't be surprised if Kim did try kidnapping. I'd be horrified but not surprised.
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When I read that about the home birth, the first thing I thought was, "They are going to kill OP the minute she has those babies."
How truly terrifying for the OP, and really sad that she's not able to enjoy this time as she gets ready for the twins arrival. I hope she is able to protect her new family
On the bright side, now that Kim went mental at her work and got arrested, you have grounds for an order of protection against her for you and your unborn kids.
Also, audio and video is king in a lot of custody cases in the US. Not only record date and time of interactions...video them too. It's going to be hard for them to argue against a video of them doing the stuff they may deny later in court. Also, do not let them know you are moving to another state as they may be able to get an injunction to stop you.
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I hope her lawyer fully explains that she does NOT have to put the father's name on the birth cert at birth. Make sure, wherever she goes and whatever hospital she chooses to give girth at knows this unequivocal request. The downside is lack of child support, but I think, in this situation, this would be best. If he, later, decides to leave the GF and has shown to the OP that she is completely out of his life and is willing to be in his children's lives, then they might start to discuss adding him to the BC - which can be done at any time after birth.
My mom doesn’t have my sister’s (we have different dads) father name in her birth certificate and he still has to pay child support. I’d look it up myself and see.
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This could have been great. This woman is happy, his ex / dad-to-be is happy and even ex's girlfriend is happy. The kids could have loving mom, dad and stepmom. Why does people need to be batsh*t crazy? (And by crazy I'm referring to ex's girlfriend, her mother and probably ex himself too. )
This is absolutely terrifying and I also feel for the mom having to deal with this stress. Stay safe mom ❤
Oh boy, that is scary. I'm sure you don't want to move away from Your family and friends, but please move to a State that gives you the most protection from this very sick lady. Good luck for good health and happiness for the babies and yourself.
This is super creepy snd frightening. Women like this have been known to kill the mother and take the baby(ies) by cesarean.
I’m glad I’m not the only person who had that horrible thought cross their mind.
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That's definitely an understatement. She is batsh*t crazy
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I worry this will lead to a murder senario...cut out the baby thing. This woman is seriously crazy...move out of state as quickly as possible...
And if she has an uncommon name, change it to something very common. Think of just how many millions of Mary Smiths there are in the world.
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Holy mother of god what the hell did I just read? That lady(Kim) is insane!
whose the more crazy... the crazy lady or the guy whose dating her? Like... Joe's just as bad in this. Those are his kids, too, and he needs to step up and protect them from the nutter. or be cut out of their lives.
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My little brother was dating a woman and had a kid with her. He was cheating on her, and while she was at work he took everything from their house and her child and moved in with the other woman. Now the other woman has his ex-gf's child calling the mother "Mama first name" and the cheater (now wife) is mommy. It makes me so sick!!
You need to kick your little brother’s ass into next week for the way he’s behaving! Then help his ex get HER children back!
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Request for a restraining order against these two for harrassment, stalking, emotional distress. Rather than home birth, it is safer for you to go to a hospital as there will be a lot of people and security around. Given the circumstances you may request for them not to disclose your identity and to just let in to visit authorized people by you. These people are not even mentally stable to be parents.
When I first heard about this I was instantly afraid of what Kim could do. Maybe it's because I watch too much true crime, but I started thinking about those cases where a mum to be had been killed and had her baby removed in a botched C-section. Kim could be at the beginning of a psychological breakdown due to her fertility problems.
Like that woman who killed a woman while she was 8 months pregnant and stole the kids for herself. Uh oh.
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Wow, yeah, find a state that allows you to be the ONLY listed parent, no visitation or parental rights if possible. Move in the middle of the night, and DO NOT LOOK BACK! Don't let ANYONE know where you are, I mean it, not even your own family! Those kids don't "need their dad", they need sanity and stability!
And also make sure the kid's names are common, too, like Matt and Kate, or Jim and Thomas, or something like that. And make sure the house isn't too fancy either, like, you don't want a giant mansion next to Disney World, and if you shared pictures of yourself outside your house and they somehow got back to Kim, she would know that "Hey, that's the big fancy mansion just outside Disney World!" Make sure it's something boring, like your average pale-white and brown two-story house.
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They probably knew they weren’t the asshole but just wanted advice. And my advice is this is probably way huger than OP realizes. I get she’s been charged, but with her family I’d probably be extra protective of my babies and look up restraining order information in OP’s state.
Pretty sure that Kim would likely eventually kidnap one or both children or do some other sort of abduction. She sounds extremely mentally disturbed. It’s sad when you hear of women who have infertility issues when they really want children, but sometimes like in this case you have to thank nature because clearly they were making the right choice here.
Thing is, I had fertility issues too. I could get pregnant, but not stay pregnant (multiple miscarriages). FFS, there’s fostering and there’s adoption (which can be the end result of the fostering, if the child’s parents are willing to give up custody). There are SO many great kids out there who need secure homes. Doesn’t matter if you don’t share DNA. The person who does all the heavy lifting of raising a child is the real parent. Now wouldn’t THAT be a healthier way to deal with infertility, rather than going batshit cray-cray and acting like your boyfriend’s ex is your surrogate? Hell, surrogates get all expenses paid, plus a surrogacy fee of tens of thousands of dollars for all they go through. Maybe TwinMama could—-through her lawyer, and with actual legal paperwork already drawn up—-call their bluff and say “tell you what, you can have the babies for $500,000—EACH!!!” Yeah, watch Joe and Kim literally run out of the room at the idea of parting with a cool million. Problem solved.
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In my country the father (when there's no marital bond) has to legally acknowledge the unborn child/children. If he doesn't, he has no rights whatsoever.
Same in my country. And the best thing about this is: Dad AND Mom have to be present, give their birth certificates AND sign!
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FYI, I don't know about other states but in California the father doesn't need to be on the birth certificate. As long as he is not present at the time of signing the birth certificate he won't be included in it as is it illegal to add a parent that doesn't sign for him/herself. Also, you are not required to provide updates on your pregnancy nor birth plan/place.
This is some ad-hoc "Handmaid's Tale" stuff right here. Yeah, no, the OP is NTA.
Can we be updated as to how this ends? this sounds scary as hell.. I really am getting worried over here.
This won’t actually end. The drama here is with the dominant person (not the poster or the ex boyfriend) which ensure a lengthy court battle.
Load More Replies... First of all laws vary from state to state. Since she will be the parent she will have complete custody. Girlfriend is a non-factor in all of this, she is not even the step mom. Mother should secure herself a good lawyer and follow his advice and of course move to another state. And make that move and don't tell anyone where you are until the time is right, no one whatsoever. No announcements, no Facebook, no nothing because anything can happen at any time, I'm just saying!
Unless it's changed, some states don't automatically give complete custody to a parent when both are not married to each other. I was not married and had a child in NC. I had to go to court to get sole custody of my child. They told me me that if the father came to visit, and took my child to the store, without me, he legally did not have to bring my child back. Because he was the father. Even if he'd never seen the child. It's stupid, and I consider it kidnapping, but a lawyer and judge both said this is how it is. All he needed was his name on the birth certificate or have paternity established in court. I felt silly going to court to get sole custody of my own child, but we do what we have to for their protection.
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What. The. Hell. It's not her baby, why is she treating it like it will be? Gender reveals, baby showers, without the real mom? That makes absolutely no sense.
Kim is probably the "cut the babies out of their mom and run" type of person. OP needs to be far away from her. Why do so many women with fertility issues think it's ok to act crazy? I've known since I was in my early 20's that I'd probably never be able to have kids. Yeah, having the option taken from me sucks but ffs, it's not a viable reason to act like a jackass and treat other women like it's their fault and they somehow owe me.
On the point of them treating OP like a surrogate. No. Surrogates are treated much better than this. This is straight up crazy and scary.
So, Kim is 30. Let's say two years down the line she does get pregnant (it does happen). What happens to your two 2 1/2 year old's? How will she and ex loverboy treat them now that The Prince or Princess the True Heir to the Throne is here? (((insert here several recent news stories of stepmothers abusing, torturing, killing children))) Another state isn't far enough. Think this through.
I fear for this woman' safety as much as the children. An excellent high end lawyer might like to step in to make sure the crazies don't do something crazier. It would help his name too and pro bono would help. The police should obviously know what's going on. Everything should be documented. I don't know if she lives in a small town or NY but it all has to be done immediately. A a tattoo on the underside of their feet might also be a good idea for identity if they might leave during a visit. All her stories should help her get all rights on her own children. Police should be more than aware about this. I wish we could follow the poor babies first year. I have adult twins and it's hard enough with "normal" parents. I wish her the best!
A high end lawyer wouldn’t touch this. There’s no money in it. Besides, a simple, civil/family law lawyer could take this to the court and have it done. But the drama here is the new girlfriend who is basically calling the shots.
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Except for the twins aspect and some other particulars, this story sounds like what happen to my sister when she was younger. Guy enters picture; sister gets pregnant; he leaves long before child is born; he reconnects with ex (GF or spouse not recalled by me) who 1) had reproductive issues and 2) resembled my sister; sister gives up or was "convinced" to give up custody. As is mentioned by several replies in the article about Throwaway-twinmama possibly being set up, hindsight has lead everyone who knew all parties in my sister's situation to conclude my sister was set up to produce a child for the couple.
Plain and simple: This woman should stay away from crazy and move out of the state while keeping her new address secret. Preferably to a state where the law is able to protect women from psychopathic morons.
Do not accept child support payment. You accept payment, he gets say so.
This woman is dangerous. Make sure that the "father" has NO rights to the children. Get a lawyer, that is the first thing, make sure, as everyone has noted, to GET A LAWYER. Make sure that the Dad does NOT get to visit the children with his "girlfriend" AND NEVER BE ALONE WITH HER. Don't visit her, don't meet with her, don't take any gifts from her. She is dangerous. Don't even talk to her on the phone.
She needs to move to a non-neighboring state and then make sure she is not able to see anything in her medical records to anyone other than her mom. Set up a password protect any info from medicals.
Lol. I am not gonna post my opinion. But no sweetheart. Nta. Nta. AT ALL. miss kim needs a lobotomy.
Ok, so let me get this straight: You boyfriend impregnated you, then he left for Kim, then you notified Joe and Kim of your pregnancy and how you're having twins, Kim gets angry because she supposedly can't have a natural pregnancy, so she now treats you like a surrogate and expects that you'll be giving her your children so she can raise them with Joe. So after throwing a gender reveal party, planning a baby shower, and saying all this junk on social media about how she's gonna be a "mother" (not to mention not even inviting you to the gender reveal party), she decides that she's gonna get mad at you for being infuriated by her terribly behavior and goes to your work, breaking a ton of stuff (your car included) and screaming that your children and life were all supposed to be hers??? I HAVE NO HOPE FOR HUMANITY.
OP has full right to keep her kids. Just because Kim has infertility issues doesn't mean the OP has to give her, her kds.
"Just give her one baby". So crazy doesn't fall far from the tree in her family.
Seriously, write this story out and copywrite it. Lifetime will.pay a fortune for this. When you get a lawyer, as everyone has suggested, ask about this. This situation is sketchy as hell.
My advice, and yes, it sucks—move far, far away from them and don't leave a forwarding address. This is Joe and Kim at their best and it only goes downhill from here. I'd be very, very concerned for your safety. And they will absolutely make your life miserable until the very end.
What. The. Actual. F**k. I really hope this woman gets a good lawyer, documents EVERYTHING, and moved away so she doesn't become a f*****g Dateline episode.
Is anyone else suspicious because "someone sent Kim a link to this post?" Really? Someone who knows Kim well enough to know the situation is also active on Reddit and figured out it was the twin's mom and sent the link over? And Kim came and broke stuff at her place of work? Hmmmmmmmm
there's a LOT of people on reddit, and most are on NTA. it could have gone through several levels of friends to get to Kim
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Kim is 100% unstable and should be nowhere near a pet let alone a child. OP needs to file a protective order against Kim and needs to do everything she can to keep this crazy woman away from her babies. I agree with what some other people have said that it is weird that they broke up, he was with OP for three months, and then they got back together after the OP got pregnant. They are treating her like a surrogate, which she is not, and need to back off. She is NTA, but Joe and Kim sure are.
What I don't understand is why the wider family is going along with this. Almost sounds like this was a deliberate act. I would leave town like yesterday. Serious folks I can see this lady being murdered over those babies
I would definitely ghost myself away. Seen too many crazies attack pregnant moms and cut the babies out. Kim is kray kray and so is the BF... Don't trust them - get protection and hide far away like your life, and your childrens depend on it.
Do NOT marry the father. In some states an unmarried mother has total say so. Do not put his name on the birth certificate. Moving to another state is a very smart move. Leave no forwarding address.
When I was having my child, there was this rash of kidnapping babies out of hospitals and a couple murders of near term pregnant women where the crazy "couldnt have a baby" killer took the baby by performing a c-section on them. I would move, install a serious security system, and get a gun. Eff that crazy fool.
I've read this before, it's as irritating as the first time I read it.
If they all live in Florida, it is time for mom to pull up stakes and move to Seattle.
Kim trashed her car at her place of work. This isn't enough for a protective order??
Honey, get out of town, go where they can't find you. Kim's a nut job from hell and her mother's just as bad.
This is sooooooooooo horrible! OP should find a trustworthy friend to have with her at all times for protection. Maybe we should place Kim in Antarctica. Or is that still to close?
Still too close imo. Outer space, in another galaxy, with no oxygen would be the appropriate distance.
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This almost sounds like aspect from the show The Handmaids Tale. At least evenly disturbing.
Kim is sick. She needs help. Mom needs to go far and get good lawyer asap. That's a scary story!
I'm just going to leave this here... https://abcnews.go.com/US/shocking-details-alleged-heidi-broussard-baby-margot-kidnapping/story?id=67926902
It's all planned I think they want ur babies so bad they won't stop at anything. The boyfriend must be the mastermind here as he is watching all these from backstage counting days.
Ex-gf is a lunatic, and dangerous since she's already resorted to violence, who knows how far she will go, and him, and his family. Lord have mercy, there's danger ahead. Even after the child is born, they'd probably kidnap her and disappear if they had visitation rights. I'd also consider talking to people at domestic abuse centers, they may be able to help. Or help to leave the state and get a new identity. Hells bells. But do not put his name on the birth certificate, no matter what - it is not illegal to not put the father's name on the bc. You don't have to include his name, so don't.
Get a good friend of yours and get married before the babies come. That way if your partner is listed as the father or partner on the birth certificate, Joe and her bat crap crazy gf will never have any rights to your babies.
Why are we not hearing from Joe that he thinks this is totally insane and he's getting as far away from Krazy Kim as possible. Sounds like a setup for sure. I would want 24 hour security paid for by Joe. See if Lisa Bloom (Gloria Allred's daughter) does pro bono work.
Since she vandalized your belongings, smashed your car and endangered children at your office, this should be grounds for a restraining order. Do this ASAP. Get some personal protection device like pepper spray or something because you just might find yourself cut open (and dead) by this lunatic and having her steal your babies. I would also think about suing her for psychological trauma and it's affect on your children because there is evidence that the cortisol released by your body, caused by stress and fear, affects the in utero development of your children. https://psychscenehub.com/psychinsights/maternal-stress-and-the-fetal-brain/
I would be very concerned that if Kim ever had even one of the kids she would kidnap the kid.
Kim needs to leave the state if it's possible. And there is no way she should put his name on the birth certificate. It sounds like the ex and his gf were planning this all alone. OP and her babies are in danger. I hope she finds a way to protect herself.
It's actually quite a common occurrence. It's just that when we read it from a common person's point of view it sounds incredibly made up. So, cases like this happen a lot. It might be made up based on it already having happened several times before but ... still.
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Story aside, which I read, why is Bored Panda raiding Reddit for posts? Have they run out of things to post?
You don't have to be an asshole to be the problem in this story. The problem is actually that too much emotion is going on here. First things first, this situation escalated way too quickly. Second, this is going to cost quite a bit of money because the alpha in the story isn't even the main character. I don't know what state this takes place in but a custody battle will ensue and it's not going to be pretty.
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Even if it were not too late, why should she even have to consider aborting if that's not something she wants to do? I'm all in favour of maximum abortion access, but that's not the way to 'solve the issue'.
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I wouldn't let Kim have custody of a crayon! The suggestions above that the couple could have deliberately broken up to get someone else pregnant might not be far off the mark. It's certainly possible given Kim's craziness. Lawyers and a move to another state are definitely in order.
This whole situation sounds like a movie that’s waiting to be written. It seems insane, but would definitely make a good movie
Load More Replies... If Kim's behaviour escalates it will lead to her trying to kidnap your babies (this may sound extreme but it seems to be heading that way). You have a lawyer so get far away.
Given what we just read, I wouldn't be surprised if Kim did try kidnapping. I'd be horrified but not surprised.
Load More Replies... When I read that about the home birth, the first thing I thought was, "They are going to kill OP the minute she has those babies."
How truly terrifying for the OP, and really sad that she's not able to enjoy this time as she gets ready for the twins arrival. I hope she is able to protect her new family
On the bright side, now that Kim went mental at her work and got arrested, you have grounds for an order of protection against her for you and your unborn kids.
Also, audio and video is king in a lot of custody cases in the US. Not only record date and time of interactions...video them too. It's going to be hard for them to argue against a video of them doing the stuff they may deny later in court. Also, do not let them know you are moving to another state as they may be able to get an injunction to stop you.
Load More Replies... I hope her lawyer fully explains that she does NOT have to put the father's name on the birth cert at birth. Make sure, wherever she goes and whatever hospital she chooses to give girth at knows this unequivocal request. The downside is lack of child support, but I think, in this situation, this would be best. If he, later, decides to leave the GF and has shown to the OP that she is completely out of his life and is willing to be in his children's lives, then they might start to discuss adding him to the BC - which can be done at any time after birth.
My mom doesn’t have my sister’s (we have different dads) father name in her birth certificate and he still has to pay child support. I’d look it up myself and see.
Load More Replies... This could have been great. This woman is happy, his ex / dad-to-be is happy and even ex's girlfriend is happy. The kids could have loving mom, dad and stepmom. Why does people need to be batsh*t crazy? (And by crazy I'm referring to ex's girlfriend, her mother and probably ex himself too. )
This is absolutely terrifying and I also feel for the mom having to deal with this stress. Stay safe mom ❤
Oh boy, that is scary. I'm sure you don't want to move away from Your family and friends, but please move to a State that gives you the most protection from this very sick lady. Good luck for good health and happiness for the babies and yourself.
This is super creepy snd frightening. Women like this have been known to kill the mother and take the baby(ies) by cesarean.
I’m glad I’m not the only person who had that horrible thought cross their mind.
Load More Replies... That's definitely an understatement. She is batsh*t crazy
Load More Replies... I worry this will lead to a murder senario...cut out the baby thing. This woman is seriously crazy...move out of state as quickly as possible...
And if she has an uncommon name, change it to something very common. Think of just how many millions of Mary Smiths there are in the world.
Load More Replies... Holy mother of god what the hell did I just read? That lady(Kim) is insane!
whose the more crazy... the crazy lady or the guy whose dating her? Like... Joe's just as bad in this. Those are his kids, too, and he needs to step up and protect them from the nutter. or be cut out of their lives.
Load More Replies... My little brother was dating a woman and had a kid with her. He was cheating on her, and while she was at work he took everything from their house and her child and moved in with the other woman. Now the other woman has his ex-gf's child calling the mother "Mama first name" and the cheater (now wife) is mommy. It makes me so sick!!
You need to kick your little brother’s ass into next week for the way he’s behaving! Then help his ex get HER children back!
Load More Replies... Request for a restraining order against these two for harrassment, stalking, emotional distress. Rather than home birth, it is safer for you to go to a hospital as there will be a lot of people and security around. Given the circumstances you may request for them not to disclose your identity and to just let in to visit authorized people by you. These people are not even mentally stable to be parents.
When I first heard about this I was instantly afraid of what Kim could do. Maybe it's because I watch too much true crime, but I started thinking about those cases where a mum to be had been killed and had her baby removed in a botched C-section. Kim could be at the beginning of a psychological breakdown due to her fertility problems.
Like that woman who killed a woman while she was 8 months pregnant and stole the kids for herself. Uh oh.
Load More Replies... Wow, yeah, find a state that allows you to be the ONLY listed parent, no visitation or parental rights if possible. Move in the middle of the night, and DO NOT LOOK BACK! Don't let ANYONE know where you are, I mean it, not even your own family! Those kids don't "need their dad", they need sanity and stability!
And also make sure the kid's names are common, too, like Matt and Kate, or Jim and Thomas, or something like that. And make sure the house isn't too fancy either, like, you don't want a giant mansion next to Disney World, and if you shared pictures of yourself outside your house and they somehow got back to Kim, she would know that "Hey, that's the big fancy mansion just outside Disney World!" Make sure it's something boring, like your average pale-white and brown two-story house.
Load More Replies... They probably knew they weren’t the asshole but just wanted advice. And my advice is this is probably way huger than OP realizes. I get she’s been charged, but with her family I’d probably be extra protective of my babies and look up restraining order information in OP’s state.
Pretty sure that Kim would likely eventually kidnap one or both children or do some other sort of abduction. She sounds extremely mentally disturbed. It’s sad when you hear of women who have infertility issues when they really want children, but sometimes like in this case you have to thank nature because clearly they were making the right choice here.
Thing is, I had fertility issues too. I could get pregnant, but not stay pregnant (multiple miscarriages). FFS, there’s fostering and there’s adoption (which can be the end result of the fostering, if the child’s parents are willing to give up custody). There are SO many great kids out there who need secure homes. Doesn’t matter if you don’t share DNA. The person who does all the heavy lifting of raising a child is the real parent. Now wouldn’t THAT be a healthier way to deal with infertility, rather than going batshit cray-cray and acting like your boyfriend’s ex is your surrogate? Hell, surrogates get all expenses paid, plus a surrogacy fee of tens of thousands of dollars for all they go through. Maybe TwinMama could—-through her lawyer, and with actual legal paperwork already drawn up—-call their bluff and say “tell you what, you can have the babies for $500,000—EACH!!!” Yeah, watch Joe and Kim literally run out of the room at the idea of parting with a cool million. Problem solved.
Load More Replies... In my country the father (when there's no marital bond) has to legally acknowledge the unborn child/children. If he doesn't, he has no rights whatsoever.
Same in my country. And the best thing about this is: Dad AND Mom have to be present, give their birth certificates AND sign!
Load More Replies... FYI, I don't know about other states but in California the father doesn't need to be on the birth certificate. As long as he is not present at the time of signing the birth certificate he won't be included in it as is it illegal to add a parent that doesn't sign for him/herself. Also, you are not required to provide updates on your pregnancy nor birth plan/place.
This is some ad-hoc "Handmaid's Tale" stuff right here. Yeah, no, the OP is NTA.
Can we be updated as to how this ends? this sounds scary as hell.. I really am getting worried over here.
This won’t actually end. The drama here is with the dominant person (not the poster or the ex boyfriend) which ensure a lengthy court battle.
Load More Replies... First of all laws vary from state to state. Since she will be the parent she will have complete custody. Girlfriend is a non-factor in all of this, she is not even the step mom. Mother should secure herself a good lawyer and follow his advice and of course move to another state. And make that move and don't tell anyone where you are until the time is right, no one whatsoever. No announcements, no Facebook, no nothing because anything can happen at any time, I'm just saying!
Unless it's changed, some states don't automatically give complete custody to a parent when both are not married to each other. I was not married and had a child in NC. I had to go to court to get sole custody of my child. They told me me that if the father came to visit, and took my child to the store, without me, he legally did not have to bring my child back. Because he was the father. Even if he'd never seen the child. It's stupid, and I consider it kidnapping, but a lawyer and judge both said this is how it is. All he needed was his name on the birth certificate or have paternity established in court. I felt silly going to court to get sole custody of my own child, but we do what we have to for their protection.
Load More Replies... What. The. Hell. It's not her baby, why is she treating it like it will be? Gender reveals, baby showers, without the real mom? That makes absolutely no sense.
Kim is probably the "cut the babies out of their mom and run" type of person. OP needs to be far away from her. Why do so many women with fertility issues think it's ok to act crazy? I've known since I was in my early 20's that I'd probably never be able to have kids. Yeah, having the option taken from me sucks but ffs, it's not a viable reason to act like a jackass and treat other women like it's their fault and they somehow owe me.
On the point of them treating OP like a surrogate. No. Surrogates are treated much better than this. This is straight up crazy and scary.
So, Kim is 30. Let's say two years down the line she does get pregnant (it does happen). What happens to your two 2 1/2 year old's? How will she and ex loverboy treat them now that The Prince or Princess the True Heir to the Throne is here? (((insert here several recent news stories of stepmothers abusing, torturing, killing children))) Another state isn't far enough. Think this through.
I fear for this woman' safety as much as the children. An excellent high end lawyer might like to step in to make sure the crazies don't do something crazier. It would help his name too and pro bono would help. The police should obviously know what's going on. Everything should be documented. I don't know if she lives in a small town or NY but it all has to be done immediately. A a tattoo on the underside of their feet might also be a good idea for identity if they might leave during a visit. All her stories should help her get all rights on her own children. Police should be more than aware about this. I wish we could follow the poor babies first year. I have adult twins and it's hard enough with "normal" parents. I wish her the best!
A high end lawyer wouldn’t touch this. There’s no money in it. Besides, a simple, civil/family law lawyer could take this to the court and have it done. But the drama here is the new girlfriend who is basically calling the shots.
Load More Replies... Except for the twins aspect and some other particulars, this story sounds like what happen to my sister when she was younger. Guy enters picture; sister gets pregnant; he leaves long before child is born; he reconnects with ex (GF or spouse not recalled by me) who 1) had reproductive issues and 2) resembled my sister; sister gives up or was "convinced" to give up custody. As is mentioned by several replies in the article about Throwaway-twinmama possibly being set up, hindsight has lead everyone who knew all parties in my sister's situation to conclude my sister was set up to produce a child for the couple.
Plain and simple: This woman should stay away from crazy and move out of the state while keeping her new address secret. Preferably to a state where the law is able to protect women from psychopathic morons.
Do not accept child support payment. You accept payment, he gets say so.
This woman is dangerous. Make sure that the "father" has NO rights to the children. Get a lawyer, that is the first thing, make sure, as everyone has noted, to GET A LAWYER. Make sure that the Dad does NOT get to visit the children with his "girlfriend" AND NEVER BE ALONE WITH HER. Don't visit her, don't meet with her, don't take any gifts from her. She is dangerous. Don't even talk to her on the phone.
She needs to move to a non-neighboring state and then make sure she is not able to see anything in her medical records to anyone other than her mom. Set up a password protect any info from medicals.
Lol. I am not gonna post my opinion. But no sweetheart. Nta. Nta. AT ALL. miss kim needs a lobotomy.
Ok, so let me get this straight: You boyfriend impregnated you, then he left for Kim, then you notified Joe and Kim of your pregnancy and how you're having twins, Kim gets angry because she supposedly can't have a natural pregnancy, so she now treats you like a surrogate and expects that you'll be giving her your children so she can raise them with Joe. So after throwing a gender reveal party, planning a baby shower, and saying all this junk on social media about how she's gonna be a "mother" (not to mention not even inviting you to the gender reveal party), she decides that she's gonna get mad at you for being infuriated by her terribly behavior and goes to your work, breaking a ton of stuff (your car included) and screaming that your children and life were all supposed to be hers??? I HAVE NO HOPE FOR HUMANITY.
OP has full right to keep her kids. Just because Kim has infertility issues doesn't mean the OP has to give her, her kds.
"Just give her one baby". So crazy doesn't fall far from the tree in her family.
Seriously, write this story out and copywrite it. Lifetime will.pay a fortune for this. When you get a lawyer, as everyone has suggested, ask about this. This situation is sketchy as hell.
My advice, and yes, it sucks—move far, far away from them and don't leave a forwarding address. This is Joe and Kim at their best and it only goes downhill from here. I'd be very, very concerned for your safety. And they will absolutely make your life miserable until the very end.
What. The. Actual. F**k. I really hope this woman gets a good lawyer, documents EVERYTHING, and moved away so she doesn't become a f*****g Dateline episode.
Is anyone else suspicious because "someone sent Kim a link to this post?" Really? Someone who knows Kim well enough to know the situation is also active on Reddit and figured out it was the twin's mom and sent the link over? And Kim came and broke stuff at her place of work? Hmmmmmmmm
there's a LOT of people on reddit, and most are on NTA. it could have gone through several levels of friends to get to Kim
Load More Replies... Kim is 100% unstable and should be nowhere near a pet let alone a child. OP needs to file a protective order against Kim and needs to do everything she can to keep this crazy woman away from her babies. I agree with what some other people have said that it is weird that they broke up, he was with OP for three months, and then they got back together after the OP got pregnant. They are treating her like a surrogate, which she is not, and need to back off. She is NTA, but Joe and Kim sure are.
What I don't understand is why the wider family is going along with this. Almost sounds like this was a deliberate act. I would leave town like yesterday. Serious folks I can see this lady being murdered over those babies
I would definitely ghost myself away. Seen too many crazies attack pregnant moms and cut the babies out. Kim is kray kray and so is the BF... Don't trust them - get protection and hide far away like your life, and your childrens depend on it.
Do NOT marry the father. In some states an unmarried mother has total say so. Do not put his name on the birth certificate. Moving to another state is a very smart move. Leave no forwarding address.
When I was having my child, there was this rash of kidnapping babies out of hospitals and a couple murders of near term pregnant women where the crazy "couldnt have a baby" killer took the baby by performing a c-section on them. I would move, install a serious security system, and get a gun. Eff that crazy fool.
I've read this before, it's as irritating as the first time I read it.
If they all live in Florida, it is time for mom to pull up stakes and move to Seattle.
Kim trashed her car at her place of work. This isn't enough for a protective order??
Honey, get out of town, go where they can't find you. Kim's a nut job from hell and her mother's just as bad.
This is sooooooooooo horrible! OP should find a trustworthy friend to have with her at all times for protection. Maybe we should place Kim in Antarctica. Or is that still to close?
Still too close imo. Outer space, in another galaxy, with no oxygen would be the appropriate distance.
Load More Replies... This almost sounds like aspect from the show The Handmaids Tale. At least evenly disturbing.
Kim is sick. She needs help. Mom needs to go far and get good lawyer asap. That's a scary story!
I'm just going to leave this here... https://abcnews.go.com/US/shocking-details-alleged-heidi-broussard-baby-margot-kidnapping/story?id=67926902
It's all planned I think they want ur babies so bad they won't stop at anything. The boyfriend must be the mastermind here as he is watching all these from backstage counting days.
Ex-gf is a lunatic, and dangerous since she's already resorted to violence, who knows how far she will go, and him, and his family. Lord have mercy, there's danger ahead. Even after the child is born, they'd probably kidnap her and disappear if they had visitation rights. I'd also consider talking to people at domestic abuse centers, they may be able to help. Or help to leave the state and get a new identity. Hells bells. But do not put his name on the birth certificate, no matter what - it is not illegal to not put the father's name on the bc. You don't have to include his name, so don't.
Get a good friend of yours and get married before the babies come. That way if your partner is listed as the father or partner on the birth certificate, Joe and her bat crap crazy gf will never have any rights to your babies.
Why are we not hearing from Joe that he thinks this is totally insane and he's getting as far away from Krazy Kim as possible. Sounds like a setup for sure. I would want 24 hour security paid for by Joe. See if Lisa Bloom (Gloria Allred's daughter) does pro bono work.
Since she vandalized your belongings, smashed your car and endangered children at your office, this should be grounds for a restraining order. Do this ASAP. Get some personal protection device like pepper spray or something because you just might find yourself cut open (and dead) by this lunatic and having her steal your babies. I would also think about suing her for psychological trauma and it's affect on your children because there is evidence that the cortisol released by your body, caused by stress and fear, affects the in utero development of your children. https://psychscenehub.com/psychinsights/maternal-stress-and-the-fetal-brain/
I would be very concerned that if Kim ever had even one of the kids she would kidnap the kid.
Kim needs to leave the state if it's possible. And there is no way she should put his name on the birth certificate. It sounds like the ex and his gf were planning this all alone. OP and her babies are in danger. I hope she finds a way to protect herself.
It's actually quite a common occurrence. It's just that when we read it from a common person's point of view it sounds incredibly made up. So, cases like this happen a lot. It might be made up based on it already having happened several times before but ... still.
Load More Replies... Story aside, which I read, why is Bored Panda raiding Reddit for posts? Have they run out of things to post?
You don't have to be an asshole to be the problem in this story. The problem is actually that too much emotion is going on here. First things first, this situation escalated way too quickly. Second, this is going to cost quite a bit of money because the alpha in the story isn't even the main character. I don't know what state this takes place in but a custody battle will ensue and it's not going to be pretty.
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Even if it were not too late, why should she even have to consider aborting if that's not something she wants to do? I'm all in favour of maximum abortion access, but that's not the way to 'solve the issue'.
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