Woman Brings Her Own Food To A Vegan Wedding Because The Couple Didn’t Want To Cater To Her Specific Diet, Drama Ensues
Living with a food allergy can be incredibly difficult. You always have to be on the lookout for potential danger and weigh the odds of cross-contamination. And it becomes hard to relax if you get the munchies at a public event or a fun celebration like a wedding. After all, even if a chef caters to you specifically, you can never be 100% sure that there haven’t been nuts or what you’re allergic to in the vicinity of the kitchen. And a guest eating a piece of candy and accidentally touching your glass or plate might even make you go into anaphylactic shock.
So when it comes to catering to others, you’d expect that vegans—of all people—would have a bit more sympathy for people who are extremely picky about what they eat due to health reasons. You also probably wouldn’t think that someone would bring some eggs to a vegan wedding (or that they’d cause massive drama at a celebration of love). And yet, here we are: a redditor, who has major food allergies, turned to the AITA community to share what happened when she brought egg salad to her brother’s vegan wedding.
Scroll down to read about the vegan wedding egg drama in the redditor’s own words. The story isn’t as clear-cut as you’d think, and the AITA community had a whole bunch of different reactions to it. When you’ve read the OP’s post in full, let us know what you think in the comments, dear Pandas.
A couple of eggs recently ended up creating some major drama
Image credits: Summerinstantcrush
The guest, who has some severe food allergies, explained what happened at her brother’s vegan wedding when she packed a homemade meal
Image credits: WeTV
The OP was very clear from the get-go that she’s aware of how nuanced the situation is, and she wanted the internet to hear their side of the story. As it turns out, two eggs are the line between an amazing wedding and a celebration that ends up being ruined, for some vegan brides.
Respect for one’s food preferences is a two-way street. The bride felt like she and her values were being disrespected by her sister-in-law. Meanwhile, the SIL who wrote the Reddit post, felt like she didn’t really have a choice but to bring her own food to the wedding, seeing as the people behind the food catering weren’t ‘professionals’ and there was no way to guarantee that there wouldn’t be any allergens in the dishes.
At the core of everything lies the question about if the OP should have just brought a simple vegan salad from her home, instead of one with eggs. She feels like she cleared the issue with her brother, the groom, beforehand. Meanwhile, on the day of the actual wedding, both the bride and groom were disappointed in the guest’s behavior. The bride even went as far as to call her SIL ‘selfish’ and accused her of ‘ruining’ the entire day.
A while back, Bored Panda spoke about food allergies and what to do when dining out, with pie artist and food expert Jessica Leigh Clark-Bojin. She made it very clear that if you have life-threatening food allergies, there’s never a 0% risk when you’re dining out. The burden of responsibility, in the expert’s opinion, can’t fall just on the restaurant’s shoulders, even if there’s crystal-clear communication between them and the allergic customer. Cross-contamination is a very real possibility even if everyone involved is a seasoned chef.
“Most restaurants will do their best to accommodate guests with specific dietary requests, but for certain life-threatening allergies, it’s not always possible due to the possibility of cross-contamination,” the pie artist told Bored Panda during an earlier interview. She stressed that there are differences between food allergies that make one uncomfortable and ones that pose an actual threat to one’s life.
“If you are lactose-intolerant and would like the restaurant to hold the cream sauce on your pasta, that’s likely no problem. If on the other hand, you have a deadly peanut allergy and would like the restaurant to hold the peanut sauce on your chicken satay, well, that’s another story,” the expert said.
“The kitchen can’t guarantee that trace amounts of the allergen will not make its way to your plate, and they (understandably) don’t want to be responsible for your anaphylaxis!” Jessica told us.
“If your allergies are so severe that they will cause you to have a spectacularly bad time should you come in contact with your triggers, it’s best if you stick to restaurants that have kitchens and menus which already exclude those items,” she said. People with allergies have to take the time to do their research about the restaurants they plan on visiting. They should also consider calling the restaurant or even going there in person to have a chat with the staff if they’re very worried about their food allergies.
The OP explained that she didn’t get any guidelines for what food she could bring
Some people thought that the woman did absolutely nothing wrong
However, others believe she should have packed something vegan to go match the happy couple’s food
And then there were those who thought that nobody was blameless. Here’s what they had to say
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She could have left the eggs off but at the same time the bride massively overreacted. If her eating eggs ruined her appetite and her wedding how does she even manage to function in the real world where people are eating meat products all the time? Does she scold everyone around her in other situations as well? I know many vegans are perfectly nice people but there is a certain breed that treats their dietary choices like a religion that they feel they have to force on others and it really feels like this woman may be in that category.
I can only imagine her being one of those typical self righteous pretentious vegan jerks you know the ones who remind you of the animal that died while you eat your bacon and how you’re supporting murder. I imagine she’s that type and I can’t see their marriage lasting. I guess I’m not particularly partial to vegans though considering all my experiences with them are not good
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the bride *CHOSE* to be offended. She was on the lookout for something that might "ruin" her day. The bride chose her own reaction.
I agree. What particularly struck me was the bride staring at her during the whole meal. If she accidentally saw it (I don't think it was accidental) and was disgusted, she should have looked away, concentrate on her own meal or on her new husband (or on anybody or anything else there) and not on his sister and her meal. And saying a wedding is all about veganism is crazy, it's about two people coming together and celebrating their love with friends and families...or at least it should be
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I think the vegan bride is going to have a lot of drama in her life if that's how she reacts to things not going perfectly her way. Sure, be a little annoyed but also get over yourself.
I can only imagine how many holidays and family gatherings shes going to ruin with her veganism.
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I am multiallegic... I can't eat vegan and be full... I would go cold... Without Soy, peanuts fx it is very hard to be full on vegan diet. OP and only OP knows what is good for her. And the risk of dying vs a couple of eggs... Come on thats not acceptable... It is really hard to be allegic... soy is in SO much food and unless you have tried to be really sick, don't junge...
She could eat before or after the wedding and be fine, she wouldn't die if hunger or any allergy. I think both are assholee, the bride overreacted, the brother should've told her not to bring anything non vegan, and she should've thought that its best to remove the eggs and just eat the salad.
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I'm going to assume no leather belts were allowed either, or leather shoes.
Definitely. No wool, either. That was probably specified, but it's a detail that isn't relevant to OP's story.
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Bride's a f*****g lunatic. She LET it ruin her day. She wouldn't have even noticed if she wasn't blatantly staring at her meal. If you want to let stupid s**t ruin your day, by all means, but don't let it be everyone else's problem. Good luck to the groom.
Right, imagine an alcohol free wedding because the groom or bride is a recovering AA. Even if they didn't see that someone brought alcohol would still be disrespectful. I'm not vegan but I get that is almost religious. Now the couple, that made a lot of effort to make their wedding according to their beliefs, can't say that their wedding was vegan anymore, in other words that only vegan food was consumed, that no animals were affected for that occasion. Because of two eggs. It's almost like the sister did it on purpose, how couldnt she let out the eggs for one meal, one single meal? For one of the most important day in her brother's life? What the sister did was disrespectful, but mostly because she is family, you don't expect that kind of disrespect from your family. I think that if some other guest did it the bride would be sad, but not that sad.
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NTA. The bride is, though, for making a guest feel shamed and miserable. A courteous host would never do such a thing.
I agree. It cannot be undone, presumably this is their only wedding, let it go.
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Would it have been so hard to provide a suitable vegan meal for a family member with such serious food allergies? Sorry, just the fact that a guest had to bring their own food to such an important occasion seems rude.
Actually it can be really hard to provide a meal for a person with allergies this severe. It's not as simple as skipping peanuts in your pad thai, the whole kitchen needs to be very thoroughly cleaned, separate cutting boards might need to be used and so on. If they were using a small local catering company it is definitely best to have the guest bring their own food. Better safe than sorry. Or they could have ordered a separate meal from a more serious establishment but that still wouldn't remove the risk of cross-contamination.
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Did the bride and groom ask their guests if they are all vegan too? Or did they just force everyone to be vegan for their wedding? I'm not vegan so I would either choose not to attend, or I'd also bring something to eat so that I get my proper diet. You cannot force people to change their dietary requirements because you think you're entitled to control their food. OP was absolutely within her right as a human to ensure she got the nutrition she needs regardless of the bride's petty rules. What an entitled twatwaffle!
At an event that someone else is planning and paying for, they absolutely decide what people will eat. It's how these things work. If you don't like the menu, don't go or just don't eat. Showing up to someone's event with your own food because you don't like their menu is rude (if you can't go a few hours without your "proper diet" 🙄, then stay home). The sister has allergies, which they accommodated by allowing her to bring a meal. She knew they were both vegan, all the other guests were clearly fine eating vegan on this one day, she should have left the eggs off. If she couldn't go a few hours without eating 2 boiled eggs then she should have not attended. The bride's reaction was over the top and rude, but bringing animal products to eat at a vegan event was also rude.
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I have multiple food intolerances due to IBS (legumes including soya, lentils, chickpeas; cruciferous vegetables like cauliflower broccoli and kale; mushrooms including Quorn, nightshade family which includes tomatoes, aubergine, and potatoes; coconut flour, anything heavily processed) and some allergies (bananas) and there's no way I would feel safe eating a vegan meal at a wedding - I am not willing to risk a the agony of a digestive system reacting to any of the foods I know cause problems. I would definitely need to bring my own food; maybe I wouldn't go the wedding at all. Veganism is a choice which does not suit my diet and lifestyle. I wouldn't bring a meal with eggs in it though because boiled eggs really do stink!
Yep. I would have went to the wedding and skipped the reception. Too dangerous.
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Nta no one told you you had to bring vegan food, your family should know your allergies and being your brother he should have thought of those close to him and arranged for them to have meals they can eat. Weddings are also about joining 2 people not about the food or the party..and it is not a big special Dat that allows them to be assholes. Their meal choice is willfully exclusive, and a force of their ways...they can save that for home not a party of multiple people of different tastes. They are extremely tacky and someone taught them wrong about what a wedding is if they think they get special treatment for housing to bone each other until they divorce.
Yeah, all the people saying she was wrong for brining the eggs aren't thinking that nobody told her to bring a vegan meal. I, personally, wouldn't have even thought about it and would have just brought a meal for myself.
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Unpopular opinion and I'll likely be down voted through the floor but considering the effort the couple went to in planning their day, yes I think YTA as it wouldn't have been difficult to leave off the eggs for one meal, I understand the choice to take your own food due to allergies but you had a choice not to attend the event if you didn't want to follow the very specific and obviously important vegan theme, would you take alcohol to an alcohol free event organised by a recovering alcoholic? Much the same concept really
The whole "it's one meal" argument can go both ways. Now the sister is getting married, she's having an all carnivorous wedding. Is she then allowed to b***h that the sister in law brought something vegan? It's just one meal, why couldn't she just eat meat so the sister could have a good wedding?
Load More Replies... So do the bride and groom only go to vegan restaurants for the fear of seeing .... an egg!! Oh the shock! Oh the horror!!!
what you, & so many others, are failing to understand is that it was their WEDDING; a day for them to be happy, a day for them to celebrate how they wish. a public restaurant is not theirs, so they wouldn't be surprised or upset. the wedding is theirs & they are completely justified in wanting a day that aligns with their morals. op disrespected their wishes & their morals on a day that was supposed to be about them. if it was a backyard barbecue & op brought eggs, i'm sure there wouldn't be an issue. but because it was their special day, it was extremely crass of op to go against what they knew the couple wanted.
Load More Replies... I'm a chef, dealing with vegetarian (easy) and vegan (not-so-easy) guests. Especially not easy, when you have a vegan guest in a 30-40 tourist group, who paid for a buffet-dish, which as far away from being vegan in an average hotel, as the chances of US, being a real 1st world country. But even so, we always prepare special dishes for our vegan guests. I can say, that 100% of the cases they are grateful for having a full-dish, and not just french-fries or plain rice. Not to speak about special vegan-desserts, what we also make for them. They are paying the same price as the vegetarian or omnivorous guests, they deserve full dishes and desserts. With all of these said, the bride and brother were in this situation huge AH!
Your comment warmed my heart. I have been Vegan for 12 years. I never expect anyone to cater to my choices nor do I judge anyone for how they eat as I am fully aware that food is so much more than just how we nourish our body's cells. It's culture, memory, identity, lots of things. I totally get that. Being Vegan is my choice, and I cannot even tell you how many times I have eaten just french fries or nothing at all because I wanted to participate socially with family or friends, but there was nothing I could eat. That is so incredibly awesome of you to make vegan options available to a guest who had nothing else but french fries to eat. I would so proudly eat in your restaurant. We humans are complex and come from so many different backgrounds and experiences, but your efforts to try to bring people together and to be gracious just really warmed my heart. Bless you for being such a kind and empathetic human being.
Load More Replies... Did she have bring the eggs? No. But, as someone with a soy plus many others allergy, it is extremely difficult to feed yourself. Soy is in EVERYTHING. So you eat what you can eat because there isn't a ton you can eat. I only eat at 2 restaurants because they specifically cater to people with food issues. Also, I wouldn't have gone to the reception anyway. Too dangerous.
I don't disagree with her skipping the catered meal because that was the safest thing for her to do. However, she doesn't seem to understand why bringing eggs to a completely vegan event was offensive. She clearly can eat salad. If I was in her position, I would have brought the salad (maybe a really big one), and eaten the eggs at home before I went. Her safety is obviously paramount, but unless she can only eat eggs and nothing else, she screwed up here. I think I would have apologized to the bride, not in a way that excuses the bride's meltdown, which was not good but more along the lines of "I'm sorry about the eggs at your wedding. I accept that veganism is important to you and I should have been more aware of what I was bringing." If it mends the relationship a bit, then it's worth it. I'm having a hard time believing that the sister really doesn't get why the eggs were offensive or that she innocently tossed them in to begin with. She knew their lifestyle, knew the menu.
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Oh, jesus...how is the sister the a*****e if she brought her own food? As someone with food allergies myself, I often bring my own food if I have too many questions about what's being served. Like Mary Rogers pointed out, how does this woman function in the real world if seeing people eat non vegan ruins her appetite?
Everyone is overly focused on the food allergies thing. The only thing you need to know is she brought her own food to an event with the permission of her host, and then the host got b**chy when she saw what she made for herself to eat. Its a salad. It's not offensive unless you choose to be offended. Bridezilla ITA.
She should not have brought eggs, but once the damage was done there was no point mentioning it. Its one day. Bride is a tacky b***h, berating her for "ruining" her wedding. This is why comedians always make fun of vegans, their humorless intolerance for others.
I really sympathize because a family member that I live with has severe food allergies so sometimes we have to leave restaurants to accommodate, that’s how bad it is so I understand the struggle. But still, did you need the eggs?
I always downvote any "am I the jerk" posts here. What happened to the posts about creative people doing awesome things? I'm really tired of s**t-people posts. Really. I downvote them all.
I'm tired of people complaining about a websites content rather than finding a new site with content they prefer.
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I'm gonna have to go with YTA, OP knew how important veganism was to the bride and she knew it was the theme of the wedding. You have to be a complete idiot to think bringing food with obvious animal products in it would not be seen as disrespectful. It would have been incredibly easy to just not put eggs in her salad. I'm not vegan myself and I do agree the bride overreacted, but I think OP is in the wrong too.
It's an ESH verdict if you think both parties were a-holes.
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I'm vegan too, but I would have been fine if someone brought their own food, especially if they had allergies and it was hard to tell if there was any cross contamination, etc. I'm used to bringing my own food to events anyway like family get togethers because none of the food anyone makes is vegan and only my sister makes a vegan dish.
Those vegans and they believe that they must be honoured and respected as gods. Makes me think that all their entirely personality is based on veganism olny and there's nothing more behind
It's their wedding. They get to pick the menu because they are paying for it. If this was a vegan sister in law demanding that every family meal be vegan that would be a very different issue. But when you plan and pay for an event, you decide what's going to be offered. People can decline if they don't like it.
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And for all those calling out the SIL for being the a$$***e, saying it was "clearly a vegan wedding", well then, I guess it should've been "clear" to all guests that leather shoes, belts, purses should not have been worn AND that all makeup worn must be vegan & not tested on animals! Again, if you're going to call out one person, be ready to call out ALL persons!
Everyone that said she's the a**hole, are clearly a**holes themselves. The entire situation sounds like a control freak, not being able to control everyone around her. I bet she used the love of her fiance to convert him to vegan. Like "You don't convert and I'll leave you or we can't be together." Knowing darn well he wasn't vegan when they met. I can guarantee they went on dates and he ate non vegan food before her and she didn't "lose her appetite" or "ruin her day". She's full of s**t and a b***h. I would hate for that to be my new SNL. 😭
OK, you could have left the eggs off, but your brother told you to bring your own food. You don't tell me that I have to supply my own food and then tell me what I can eat. You are not the a*****e in this scenario. And your sister-in-law just goes to show exactly why vegans don't get respect. There are so many of them who are good people and don't care what you eat, they would rather you not eat animal stuff but they get it. Those are quiet people and they mind their own business. People like your sister-in-law, the big mouth who thinks that what everybody eats is her business, that cause other people to disrespect vegans.
did they also demand every single guest to get new shoes if they only owned leather ones?
It's stories like this, I feel, that cause Vegan's to get a bad rap. There are scores of similar stories floating around and it gives the impression that Vegan's are absolute crack pots 😜
In my experience every vegan tries to get you to change your diet. You're eating in the lunch room at work and the vegan is there and has to give you s**t about what you eat.
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I'm getting sick and tired of all the veganazis who make the decent vegans look bad. "Do the same as me, or you're BAD!" Some of them act like it's a cult, when it's just food.
This is my problem with vegans. I have seemingly only met one type, the ones that try to convert everyone. And usually the ones who try converting everyone are the one who look sick and like their eating a very awful diet.
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Unless I just CAN'T get out of it, I decline most all wedding invitations. I send a nice gift and well wishes but avoid the "wedding day drama" if at all possible. I do understand the groom is the OP's brother so she really couldn't opt out but I also suspect if she hadn't "ruined" the bride's day, someone else would have.
I also avoid weddings at all costs. The food is never worth the aggravation, and I can get cake anywhere. My issue with this is that they agreed to her bringing her own food and she threw eggs in. Unless she truly didn't realize that eggs aren't vegan, it was a jerk move. Everyone else who attended seems to have been fine with vegan for a few hours. I'm on the fence as to whether this was intentional in a very passive aggressive way.
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I'm not vegan, but my sister is. I like to cook, therefore I have learned plenty of recipes that are vegan and delicious, not all of them contain the listed allergens, and plenty of them simple to make. If OP had bothered to do just a little research she could have realised that, and prepared something that was vegan. Op KNEW that the wedding was vegan. So she's been quite disrespectful to bring a non-vegan meal with her. Yes, bride overreacted, but like I said, disrespect. Everyone kinda sucks here, but mostly OP.
OP really should have thought this through better. She knew the couple were vegans, and she knew they'd gone to a lot of effort to have a vegan and ecologically thoughtful wedding. I'm sure there was some sort of protein option she could have added to her salad that wasn't so clearly an animal product. Hard boiled eggs are pretty distinctive in shape, color, and odor.
Oh my gosh I didn't think of that the odor, even at first she or the guests hadn't seen the eggs they would have smelled them.
Load More Replies... It would have been so easy to not bring the eggs, just to be kind. Now there's the problem of tension. I hope they see the bigger picture and apologize to the couple, not focus on who's right/wrong but on having a nice relation from now on.
I am going with YSA. It would have been entirely reasonable to not add eggs to the salad for one meal, when attending a wedding that is clearly vegan and trying to be as eco friendly as possible. To say "but I didn't receive specific instructions" is stupid, read the room. Sounds passive aggressive to me.
Why should she read the room when the hosts couldn't be bothered to accommodate her life and death allergy?
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Well if YTA, then I suspect you're not the only one because I'm SURE they're were guests there wearing leather shoes, leather belts and/or leather purses. So, if the bride feels it necessary to call out 1 offender, then she should've called out ALL offenders!
I'm vegan and even I think the bride is carrying on a bit, my partner and our 21 year old son are not vegan and never once have I tried to force or guilt them into it, it's MY choice, if my partner and I were to get married I wouldn't expect everyone at the wedding to eat vegan just because I am, it's great to have principles just don't force them on others, life is too short to be cracking the shits and arguing with people over everything
There seems to a thing vegans don't understand eighter.all tamed chickens lay eggs.it Dosent mather if you ever plan to eat em or how they live. it's just a waste not to eat them (and even if you don't Wana eat) let people who want to.like for real
Vegans don't believe that people should own chickens or other domesticated animals, period. What they ignore is that many domesticated animals would not survive in the wild anymore. Not sure about chickens but sheep have been bred to produce massive amounts of wool and would not survive in the wild because they need to be sheared. But according to vegans, that is "exploitation."
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Overreaction from the bride, I can't stand snowflakes like her, just grow up, the world isn't going to accommodate to your desires or your views, learn to deal with it as a damn adult.
Snowflake, huh? Cute... I think maybe you need to take your own advice.
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There was no reason to cause a family rift over something like this. Wife could have asked the husband to speak privately to the sister. Situation could have been handled at 2 not a 10. No reason to call people names over a simple correction. Also, how does this person get by in the real world? Does she react this way normally? Or did she decide to freak out on the sister because she felt entitled to as the bride? I can't stand it when people use life events, like a wedding, to treat family like c**p. Especially since she was trying so hard to make life easier for them by bringing her own food.
oh lookie a karen how fitting for the statement made
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ESH. Brother sucks for not providing you with a safe meal to eat at his wedding reception. You suck for bringing eggs to a vegan wedding (and because hard boiled eggs stink). Bride sucks for dramatic overreaction. You all suck for not talking to one another like human beings who care about one another.
Everybody sucks here. Bring a power bar. Accept that someone around you will do something contrary to your morals. Communicate like adults. Have perspective.
Imagine being told to eat a power bar while everyone else has a large catered meal full of things you're deathly allergic to. She got permission and wasnt told she absolutely had to bring a vegan meal.
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Why couldn't you have just left the eggs out? Or like chopped them up into the salad to make it so it wasn't big pieces of egg on the top? It kind of sounds like you did this on purpose. NGL.
YTA It's not ok to bring steak to a Hindu wedding or bacon to a Jewish one. You can fulfill your dietary restrictions without violating the basic beliefs of the people who invited you.
But she couldn't fulfill, because her brother and wife, don't give a flying f.uck about her special diet.
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As a national advocate for food allergies it hurts my heart to see this. Many times people think we can just eat vegan and the truth is many vegans get protein from nuts whereas many with food allergies can not and have to rely on other sources. In my humble opinion the couple should have made the entire thing inclusive so she did not have to bring food. Since they did not, if the vegan theme was so important they should have worked with her to find a meal she could bring. Having life threatening food allergies can be stressful and scary EVERY DAY of your life. The pressure e to be part of a wedding is a lot and then add on the pressure of being sure to bring your own healthy foods is even tougher. She has a medical condition. This over reaction made things worse than what they were. If this is how she reacted when someone was accommodating her at their own expense imagine how life with her will be for the brother . Good luck dude
Vegs need to stop whining. They demand their own food everywhere, even make people go to extra expense and work to get/make something just for them, but gods forbid you have food issues. I have some serious medical issues that require a special diet. As my dr. told me when he brought it up, “it’s a b***h of a diet.” No whole grains. No raw vegetables, which the way I really like them. (Oh for a crisp green salad!). No cruciferous veg, (broccoli, etc.). No onions, leeks, scallions. No tomatoes or other acid fruit/veg. No garlic, no hot spices. No beans, lentils, chickpeas, nuts, or seeds. (Can’t even eat peanut butter, it makes me ill ). No citrus. Low-fat dairy only. No-to-low sugar only, unless I’m passing out from low blood sugar. Which I do, and I can never sense it coming. So, honestly, there’s not much I could eat at a vegan meal. Should I watch the vegs eating as I pass out from low sugar? Am I expected to leave before the reception?
So many vegans think they can impose their ways on others because they perceive themselves as being morally superior. I don't get offended if I see someone eating vegan so they don't get to be offended if they see me eat something that isn't vegan. It's such a ridiculous way of thinking. They were unwilling to accommodate her OP's food allergies so why should she accommodate them? The focus of a wedding should be the people getting married, not "veganism". Sounds like the bride cared more about people patting her on the back for how much she cares about the planet rather than the actual purpose of the event. I'm glad she got mad. Good for OP and I hope she enjoyed those eggs.
Holy s**t, what a bunch of pussies everyone is. I honestly am starting to believe we are going to go extinct because of how much of a pussy being ,humans have become. Grow the f**k up and start to care about the real problems in life, not the imaginary one you create so you feel special.
The bride is the ahole and why no one likes vegan they are not religious zealots than the catholics and Muslims in the 11century. I get it the bride whatever but no one else noticed. Not like u wore a white dress on her day or anything
It was the brides wedding day..... It was selfish to bring in food that wasn't vegan. The bride overreacted BUT they change their way of life because of this... yet she couldn't go one meal without eating animal? I'm with the bride on this one. At first I was with the op but if you really think about it ..... It was rude AF. The smell of eggs pulls someone in that doesn't eat them. I feel like sister was the one looking for the fight ...hince the posting of a family altercation. That's just me tho.
Screw vegans always trying to push that s**t on other people. Also aren't soy, sesame and basically all of your allergies the main ingredients in a vegan diet? The only people who would call OP the AH are vegans, the ones that force it in people with terms like "zombie" etc. just having an all vegan meal at a wedding seems wrong to me. I get it, it's their day but their day can still be great without basically saying "f**k my guests, who cares if they go hungry".
You have some serious rage toward vegans, dude.
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She could have left the eggs but but she seems to have issues with a lot of non meat proteins and may have needed the protein to get through the day. What I wonder is if the bride and groom made it very clear that there were no leather belts, shoes, purses, or watch bands allowed and if they also policed that and shamed people over it. Cut flowers can also deprive pollinators of food, so how she square that? Did she arrive in a car that ran on petroleum based products that hurt the environment? What about the guests who did? Did she ask no one wear red clothing or lipstick in case beetles were crushed to make the dye. Was everyone checked for cruelty free makeup/deoderant/ perfume? (Or were from China - or companies that also sell in China- where animal testing is usually requred). Was everyone's jewelry sustainably sourced? No one had plastic sheathed tampons or a plastic Tylenol bottle? Was it just the OP the bride was policing?
i don’t think most people have considered this, but 99% of vegan alternatives in my experience use either soy or peanut/tree nut products, neither of which OP can have. sure, OP could’ve just left it out, but zero protein in the meal wouldn’t have been enough and OP probably would’ve felt very hungry and sluggish, thus affecting their enjoyment. i understand the bride’s whole “we’re having a vegan wedding” argument but she and the groom are basically asking OP to not have a satisfying/filling meal. maybe there are vegan products made without soy or peanut/tree nut ingredients, but i’ve never heard of them. OP is NTA, but could’ve checked with their brother to see if eggs were okay since vegan alternatives contain things they’re extremely allergic to and it’s unrealistic to expect someone to not have a filling meal because they can’t have what you’re offering and you won’t/can’t provide a safe alternative
Honestly? I don't think it's relevant. Anybody who isn't actively starving themselves should be able to miss a meal entirely, let alone munch on something that is less than a perfectly balanced meal. Japanese rice balls, tempura veggies with dip, etc. She chose a salad and frankly, i refuse to believe that adding an egg to the salad did anything to boost her energy levels or stave off imminent starvation. That being said, I agree with the last bit. Since she's bringing her own food anyway, she's entitled to bring anything she wants (within reason, which hard boiled eggs are.) She's entitled to a nice meal, just like everyone else. I can't even imagine getting mad at someone else for bringing food that THEY like after I invited them and failed to accomidate their needs. Bride is gross.
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OP was damned if she did and damned if she didn't...I can appreciate the bride and groom wanting their event to be a certain way but given the situation, which involves a life and death component, one, or both, should take the extra time to be explicit to avoid any misunderstanding, if it was that important. Yes, OP could have left off the eggs but bride and groom could have also gone the extra few yards and have a single meal prepared for their sister/SIL. Both sides made assumptions and came up short. However, blowing your top over two eggs? I mean, trust and believe that there will be much more serious issues to deal with, going forward, and two eggs will seem like child's play. Life is way too short to be yolked with c**p. Yes, pun intended.
I'd have just not gone. How you eat is your decision but you don't get to decide mine no matter who you are or what the occasion is.
YTA. It is pretty challenging to throw an eco friendly vegan wedding. All that extra work, consideration and cost....for it not to end up vegan? And then to bring EGGS?! The stinkiest option possible . She wanted attention. OP is a selfish b for that.
The brother and SIL are delusional. They can try all they want to make the wedding."cruelty free" or vegan, but good luck policing that. Did they forbid leather garments/shoes/belts? I'm willing to bet there was leather there. Did everyone in attendance walk to and from? Or did they use cars and planes that burn fossil fuels and pollute? Did they have a moment of silence for all the animals killed (moles, mice, snakes, ground nesting birds) or displaced plowing the soybean fields? What about the fish and aquatic life destroyed by the irrigation if these crops? Or is it ok for cruelty towards those species, but not cows, chickens, and pigs? These people need to get a grip. Even IF they had a legitimate gripe for the OP to herself how she is freely allowed to chose, and even IF, they are completely blind the fact the are still perpetuating animal cruelty, they still should forgive this person, show some grace, AND MOVE ON with their lives.
It's very telling when someone prioritizes a diet over human relationships. The OP is a family member. That should take priority over a diet. I try hard to avoid highly processed food, sugary food, junk food, and highly refined carbohydrates. Do I harass others that eat food I find offensive and would rather not be around to avoid temptation? No. People are free to choose the food they want to eat. My relationship with them is more important to me than food choices. As far as some comments regarding prejudice against vegans, I get it. It is very wrong to pigeon hole all vegans as controlling buzz kills. Remember for every out of control vegan like the SIL, there's also out of control carnivores that accuse vegans of child abuse.
Uhm, it's her food that they didn't supply. Pretty ridiculous to tell a grown woman what she can and cannot eat, your wedding or not. Talk about a self centered, over reactive, AH bridezilla. Gross. Honestly, it's a grand total of two eggs. No animals were harmed in the making of her salad... This is why I don't care to be around people. It's all about the drama. You can't just take a step back and mind your own business, even at your wedding, people can't control their emotions and throw tantrums like children and always have excuses as to why it's justified. If I were the OP, I would never attend another function that the SIL invited me to.
I mean, I'd still probably go. I'd probably just bring a sack of McDonald's next time.
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Lordy, yes. The fiercest fighting is often between groups that *almost* agree.
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Anyone who tries to force their ideology onto everybody around them is The A by default. Vegan wedding is not a "theme" its a political statement, as evidenced by the brides reaction.
I am not saying you are not correct about the wedding being a political / moral statement not a theme but it's their wedding and expecting people to follow those rules while at their wedding is their right. Let's give a few examples: #1 Recovered alcoholics having an alcohol-free wedding, I can see why they would equally be upset for completely different reasons if someone brought alcohol to their wedding. #2 Jewish wedding, you wouldn't bring bacon to a Jewish wedding for obvious religious reasons. #3 Hindu wedding, you wouldn't bring beef of any kind to a Hindu wedding again for obvious religious reasons. So why is this different?
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F**k any event that tries to force a lifestyle on you... even if it's just for the evening. I would of left the wedding with monetary gift in hand.
Here's how events like this work: someone plans and pays for it; you get an invite and info; if you dislike anything offered or expected, you decline. No one was forced to change their lifestyle. Would I have enjoyed attending a vegan wedding? Probably not, but I either would have stayed home or nibbled my way through whatever didn't bother me and then ate more substantially when I went home. It's nice if a wedding has a varied menu to make everyone happy, but that's not a requirement. This couple chose a vegan lifestyle; they shouldn't have to offer you prime rib because vegan is not your lifestyle. I don't eat pork (it's just gross), but I wouldn't go to an event that listed a whole roasted pig as the meal and then get mad because I wasn't asked if I'd rather have beef. I'd eat what I was ok with and move along. Events are purely optional. Don't like the details, don't go. But don't assume that you get to throw a fit and be accommodated because you dislike something.
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What kind of moron has an all vegan wedding? You know everyone went out to eat after and talked about how shitty the food was and probably laughed at the bride for blowing her lid over 2 eggs.
Load More Replies... Why should the OP accommodate the bride and groom's choices for the food that the people around them were putting into their own personal bodies, when they couldn't be bothered to accommodate for her allergies? They didn't care about her potentially dying from the food they were having served (it's not hard to find a caterer that will accommodate for allergies, they just didn't bother), so they left her to fend for herself. Not only did they not provide her with a meal that they were providing everyone else with, they got mad at her for not following THEIR diet when she brought her own food.
Was thinking the same thing. I don't care what other folks lifestyle is, in all aspects, but don't be forcing me to play along when I clearly have a different lifestyle.
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My friends and I used to potluck often. One person said she was a vegetarian, so I made sure there were enough vegetarian items for her - salad, pasta made with absolutely no meat or fish, etc. I kept the meat items separate. One time, she showed up with a piece of salmon from a restaurant. I didn't think vegetarians ate fish, but it turned out she happily ate fish and chicken. Confusing to all involved.
Yall saying she's an AH would absolutely be pissed if it was vice versa; meat eateries trying to forcea vegan/vegetarian to eat meat. So why tf should it be different for someone with food allergies?
If two eggs can " ruin " your wedding there's something wrong with you
The bride is a control freak who wants her desires to be fulfilled to the least. The groom is a hypocrite. However you knew it was a vegan wedding, therefore you would have excused yourself during meal time and sit somewhere separate. That's why I love my African culture.
Of course not! Why sanction or cater to cruelty. Veganism is not a diet, it is a whole philosophy and lifestyle that is geared towards living with kindness in the most practical and possible way. Would you bring ham to a barmizah or a satinist to a churchgroup?
not the same as in your words "veganism is a lifestyle choice" thats where it ends morals and ethics were never part of it people just like to pretend they are
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This whole story is indicative the decline of western civilization. Shakes head...
Seems to me one of the biggest arguments to be made is, are eggs considered vegan? I know plenty of vegans and it's pretty spit between them whether or not its vegan because of the lack of fertilization. And while I'm sure there are people out there to argue "if you eat eggs you're not a real vegan" but really vegan is all about the moral aspect. And the fact of the matter is, opinions always gonna vary. OP should have checked to see which side of the line bride and groom fell on but in the end I don't see anything wrong with it. She did what she thought was the right thing. Bride way overreacted. Truth be told, I'm so baffled by the idea of anything the bride says goes. First, its the grooms wedding too. Second if you want everyone attending to think like you, than you shouldnt have one. Just go down to the courthouse. Third, a wedding these days is just an excuse to have a party where you're the guest of honor, instead of celebrating finding your life partner as it should be. No poin
You can call yourself anything you want. Vegan means no animal products. There is no ambiguity, moral, or otherwise. Words mean what they mean. Too many people are afraid to not be confined to some tiny little box, so they cling to it. You want to eat eggs? Eat eggs. Just don't tell me that they're vegan eggs.
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The whole situation was a powder keg, the bride definitely overreacted, but maybe they the brother should have put more effort into communication ahead of the event to diffuse it in advance. He was the go-between so definitely should have put more time and effort into a suitable compromise. Also, there very likely were other attendees with dietary restrictions that should have been considered and a professional caterer probably would have been more attuned to that.
The brother absolutely got off lightly here. He was the one arranging the meal situation with her and he could have also have pulled her aside an asked her to remove the eggs. What makes the bride the AH here is not her request but the way she resorted to personal attacks instead of just politely requesting she not eat eggs or quietly get rid of them. A minute of communication could have avoided the whole mess and the brother could have helped with that.
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The sister-in-law is NOT the A**H**E! She got permission from her brother before the wedding. 1. Ahe had many allergies that are LIFE THREATENING! 2. Her brother should have said some to his wife. 3. His sister needed protein; especially if she has health issues! 4. Egggs are NOT yet an animal! They are taken BEFORE an animal is formed! Get over it! The wedding wasn't ruined, unless the bride LET it bother her to "ruin her entire day!" What a BRAT! Some ego on her! She doesn't care about her husband's sister?! They couldn't have a pasta dish made for her? I worked in the food industry, and know about cross contamination. I have also experienced anaphylaxis due to an allergy! Its not pretty! The sister-in-law did what was the safest, and best thing she could for her health! There was no other way. Eggs were her best choice for protein in her salad. What was she suppose to do, eat nothing for the entire event?! Usually when people have allergies, there are other health conditions with it
1. As has been pointed out, leaving off the eggs is an easy option. This invalidates point 1, because it was never a choice between risking her life or eating eggs. False dilemma. 2. Brother probably didn't think it would be an issue. See point 1. She got dispensation to bring her own food, not to bring whole pig and roast it. She took a liberty that was beyond what was agreed to. 3. B******t. Sorry, but that's simply not how eating works. It takes hours to digest protein at the best of times. 4. Milk never becomes an animal. Cheese. Butter. Eggs wouldn't exist without dinosaurs--er chickens. Your whole argument is invalid.
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Why force vegan on guests? Every wedding I’ve been to and those I’ve paid for have catered to everyone’s dietary need or preference. If someone is vegan or vegetarian or has particular dietary needs , we’ve made sure they are included in the menu choice. Non of this my way or no way nonsense when it comes to feeding the guests.
Why is it always OK for a vegan to get upset at an omnivore for their inability to go one meal without meat, but I'm an ahole if I give them s for not just eating one meal with meat in it! I know, lack of meat in one's diet can make you intolerant to digesting meat, but hey, you did that to you! Which highlights the main problem with vegans, they are often self righteous hypocrites. My stepmom is vegan, and I often try the vegan dishes she makes, without complaining, because she has never forced them apon me, and if I eat meat in front of her, she never says a thing. Mutual respect, it's what the world needs most and almost never gets...NTA
I completely agree with being your own food because of allergies, I have severe food allergies myself but you shouldn't have included obvious animal anything. Vegans as I am sure you are aware since your brother has been one for a few years aren't the same as vegetarians, vegans don't eat animals or animal products such as eggs and dairy. Depending on how strict the vegan they can go quite far in their lifestyle in excluding animal products because it isn't a diet for many of them, it is a lifestyle and a moral one at that. Where was vegetarians it can be for dietary reasons only or if they choose it to be more then that. Vegetarians and vegans are very different, I say this as a current pescatarian and previous vegetarian with lots of vegan friend.
When you don't eat any animal product a lot of nuts and soya make up for the lack of things most people get in their diary from animal products She's allergic to all of it If she would live vegan while also avoiding her allergies she would soon be malnurished Sure was her wedding and all, OP could have brought a salad without eggs and such But then what? She's going to do this at every gathering? What about spending a few days together at Thanksgiving or such ? When she can't eat nuts or soy and are not allowed to eat anything coming from an animal she'll lack fat and protein Maybe fine for s meal or a day even, but that's what gives the body energy That bride will soon complain that her sister in law doesn't eat her cakes with all the nuts in it, just you wait
Shows an obvious character flaw with the bride that she obviously wanted everyone to see. Shows a lack of consideration on both counts. I believe the bride ruined her day. By simply saying so, while the narrative also fits to point blame for the flaws within her own wedding. Irony a side, I think the bride's point of view is disgusting and selfish to say the least. I mean to outright condemn and judge someone for not complying to their beliefs. Without taking any other reasoning into consideration. Big day or not it's a very "Karen" like mentality. And goes to show that the pushover for a husband probably named Kevin" are perfect for each other. Congratulations Example: If I'm Jewish and I go to your Christian wedding. Would you be disgusted and thought I ruined your big day because I wore a yarmulke. It's all perspective people.
Years ago, for my 40th birthday, we went to Le Manoir Au Quat'Saisons nesr Oxford. We booked well in advance, and I mentioned that my (now) wife had a nut allergy. Their response was absolutely stellar: "Not a problem sir. We will ensure the entire kitchen is nut-free on the day, and we'll schedule a deep cleanse that morning." I was amazed, and gratified.
This will be unpopular. 1. Most vegan protein sources are SOY based which was listed as one of the severe allergies. As someone who also cannot have soy or any legume finding proteins sources that are plant based is next to impossible. 2. This is for the people who said YTA because it's just 1 meal and you didn't need to eat any animal byproducts, that same logic could be used by couples who are not vegan or vegitarian. As in it's just one meal can't you just eat meat. Omnivore couples are expected to have a vegetarian/sometimes vegan alternative for the wedding feasts. Just offering some perspective as someone who both has an allergy that essentially prevents an exclusively plant-based diet and that the one meal argument is c**p because nobody wants to have to risk their life or their beliefs for one meal.
Not putting eggs on her salad wouldnt be risking her life.
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People saying she could have brought vegan options need to realize a lot of vegan alternatives are based on things the OP can't eat. The alternative could have been a meal without protein, which really isn't healthy either. I'm saying this because I've lived at a boarding school with a vegan diet and it was really tough in me not being able to eat a lot of the food that was presented because of my own issues. Vegans who doesn't focus on getting proteins will run into rouble, and some of us experience that even without during just a meal or two (depending on how long the wedding lasted). So why I think it was in poor taste to bring eggs, finding alternatives isn't necessary easy.
When I, a carnivore, got married, we had vegan options for guests who did not want to eat animal product. The least a vegan could do is extend the same courtesy to their guests.
The difference is us omnivores have no food restrictions that prevent us from eating vegetarian and vegan food. The opposite is not true. OP had allergies and in this case it's understandable why she wanted to bring food that was safe for her to eat, but she could have chosen something that was not an obvious animal product. Like if she'd put cheese in instead of eggs, no one would have known it was not vegan.
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I don't get why she cares. She didn’t provide animal products for her wedding. Which is in her control. Good for her as shes paying for it. Someones allergies and wanting to not go to the emergency room and ruin things are not up to her. Why don’t you eat what you want and let others eat what they want and call it a day. You pushing your belief on someone else is a d**k move regardless of what day it is. Why you care so much about what someone else eats is crazy and just says your a control freak. People like that are just irritating.
Im going with NTA but only because of the bride's reaction. Bringing eggs to a vegan wedding isn't something I would do, and I think it was just a choice that wasn't really thought through. However, OP wasn't told that her personal meal had to be vegan, so it's easy to assume that she thought it was okay with everyone. The thing is, it feels like the bride was looking for some sort of drama. She could have just told OP that she wasn't okay with the eggs and not try to guilt trip, but she chose to be rude. And anyways, OP brought the eggs cause of a miscommunication. It wasn't a deliberate "fu" to the bride and groom, or some statement against veganism, she brought the eggs as something to eat. Like I said, it's just a poorly thought out desicion and if it weren't for the bride's reaction, it could have been a mistake that can be forgotten about, but now the bride has soiled her and probably her husband's relationship with OP.
Both were idiots. The lady should have stuck to something vegetarian for a day that did not kill her. It is not that hard. It is also not rocket science. If i know someone is vegan and is having a vegan wedding, i am not going to bring anything non-veg. She could have asked for suggestions to bring. The bride reacted badly but she is the lesser idiot, i think. Or the lady could have just eaten and come.
I'll eat whatever I want, wherever I want. If I was going to a vegetarian cookout I'd be sure to bring some meat. I wouldn't be caught dead at any sort of vegan event. Mostly because I don't want to spend the whole event with them trying to convert me and pushing their diet on me.
Load More Replies... I agree that OP's choice was a tad bit passive aggressive, and I commend her for it. Years ago, I attended a wedding in the immediate family. The dinner of choice was "meat with meat on meat". I am a vegetarian. When I (very gently) asked about the menu, I was informed it was their day and they didn't actually care if I found something to eat. So... I feel where OP is coming from, AND I think bridezilla needs to grow the f**k up.
Also, I wonder how the bride and groom would have reacted if OP had taken the risk and ended up in the ER with an anaphylactic shock? Probably screamed at her for being dramatic and making it all about her. I would be ASHAMED if any of my guests felt I didn't bend over backwards to make them as comfortable as possible.
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Reading posts similar to this one help me to reveal how antisocial I am. I mean, how much silly problem and "insurmontable" situation one can avoid by just not taking part in some social events. Further "I mean": I dont get why people - in both sides - make such a case on minor occurrences in weddings. It is one meal out of a person day. Cant the person just skip the meal, or just fake-eating to avoid some embarrassment to the hosts? Yes, It is kind of a==holy to ask someone organizing a wedding to find a particular accomodation for one's particular situation. First, they already have hundred of things to take care, and you are not the only one who would like a special accomodation. Just behave in a way you dont like for six hours, even if this mean that you dinner was not perfect. Get a bigger lucnh before, be a guest and go with the party the couple is able/willing to provide. Or simply dont go.
And she's going to go to a non-vegan wedding and throw a fit when they don't provide her with a vegan meal. Probably. "Animal secretions?"
While the brother should have let the caterers know about the allergies to see if they could have catered a safe meal for her bringing eggs to a vegan event even if you aren't vegan is a major no no. There are plenty of other things that would not have caused issues. Conclusion. Everybody is at fault.
A wedding is one event,and the focus is meant to be on the bride and groom. Why was veganism the "focus" of the wedding? It should be a totally separate event in itself, if at all, and it shouldn't matter at all that someone brought non-vegan food for themselves to eat. Sounds like a lot of ignoramus people, frankly. all the way around.
As a lifelong vegetarian, I can honestly say that imo, people like this bride are the ones that give the rest of us a bad name. I can understand her being a little annoyed, but telling somebody you couldn’t provide safe food for that they ruined your whole wedding with an egg seems like a massive overreaction. When you have alternative beliefs, you can’t just expect everybody else to know what you want or need, you need to tell them, and nobody told OP. The freak out was basically like telling her she’s a terrible person just because she doesn’t live like the bride lives, and that’s never cool.
I go with ESH, will not repeat all arguments. But want to add this: I've been a vegetarian (bordering on vegan) for about 35 years now. I find meat disgusting. But who am I to force my personal preferences upon the world? I am not the food police. If you eat meat next to me I will not tell you off. Those militant vegans are not helping to promote a plant-based lifestyle with this type of behavior.
If the bride reacts this poorly over a guest bringing their own food to a wedding over food allergies, God help that poor groom saddled with such an antisocial Karen. I give this marriage a year tops. Sorry folks. The rest of us see more dire things going on in the world than a Tupperware bowl of eggs being brought to a wedding. That guest might have done better just to have sent a card.
The type of person to HAVE a vegan wedding in the first place, is coincidentally the same type of person to chew you out if you dare to eat anything else in their presence. A good host will offer options that suit the widest subset of their guests' tastes, where possible. Nothing wrong with having a vegan option, but once you cross the Rubicon into turning your wedding into a political statement about the evils of factory farms, you're far, far beyond what is reasonable. Why not cause a scene and harass your guests about their choice of salad toppings. Why not?
OMG! If a person gets upset over something that stupid, can you imagine what she would be like to live with!
I don’t care how important being a vegan is to your SIL, her treating you this way over your food choices speaks volumes about her priorities. If you value veganism over decency and human life then you are worse than all the emissions that cow farms worldwide produce! Anaphylaxis is a matter of life and death and she’s worried about 2 eggs contaminating her display of her commitment to veganism. NTA! Your brother needs to eat a steak and tell her that until she learns to value family, marriage and human life he will keep eating animals! Gross!
you know, weddings in my country lasts for several hours (like 7-8) . at my own wedding I couldn't eat anything for the whole day, I was busy dancing, socialising, welcoming guests.... for me it's rude to bring your own food at any party. you don't have to eat, if you don't like the food. it's not like you are going to collapse for not eating a few hours. have a drink, you'll be fine!
NTA, I know for most of us knowing eggs are not part of a vegan menu is a no brainer, but that really isn't the case for everyone. I really really don't think this woman brought the food intending any offense. Actually I'm sure it never occurred to her that offense was even a possibility. I believe the fact that this was clearly a mistake should be taken into consideration by the bride. The bride sounds like a major snowflake to me!!!
I'm a pretty strict vegetarian and I think the bride way overreacted. If it were my wedding, I would have made sure my family members with allergies had food to eat. Even if it meant preparing the food myself and keeping it separate from the rest. The food would be vegetarian, of course, but it would also be safe.
I wouldn't call you an a**hole, but maybe a bit insensitive. If everyone else is eating vegan, you really shouldn't insult the host by bringing a food that's not allowed. Being vegan isn't just a food choice. It's a political and environmental statement. However, It was eggs and I doubt many people noticed. It's not like you brought a chef's salad! I think the bride over-reacted and was rude to make a deal out of it. Next time you'll know. Unfortunately, next time she'll be just as rude.
I would have brought meat. Or if the rules strictly say everyone would have to eat vegan food, just wouldn't go. I literally have meat craving when I lack B12, and I eat beans and other vegetables that have B12 daily, but apparently I can only get it from red meat. So yeah, I literally can't go vegetarian or vegan.
Half if my family and I are vegetarian and we ran into these dilemma all the time. Many times restaurants don't have a vegetarian option and we have to settle with side dishes or salads. On family gatherings it is kind of an issue for our other relatives and they always try to push meat meals on us. We opted for bringing our own food: mixed vegetables, impossible brand meat or morning star. Turns out they they start digging in our food too well knowing we brought it because we cannot eat what they have. On a resent barbecue we had to hurry and get our plates because they were eating our meat and brochets. I feel that if we are not trying to push our philosophy on them, in return they should respect ours.
I mean one she had food allergies two it was just some eggs! I mean to be completely honest being a religious vegan is just dumb. If you ever heard of Seventh-day Adventist they're basically a vegan cult now, them forcing vegan diet caused my grandmother to die. But what foods are considered vegan is also dumb even honey produced by bees is not vegan. And if you look at most vegans they look kind of sickly because you don't get all the nutrients you need in a plant based diet you get enough to live but you don't get the full range of all the nutrients and minerals and vitamins your body needs and especially not in the quantities not just a reasonable amount of "meat" in your diet can fix. And if you're vegan in America and you're demonizing eggs you know I would think that food going to waste and being thrown away would be a bigger environmental issue then somebody consuming it. Because guess what America throws away just as much as it eats. 1.62mil vegans won't stop the waste
If veganism is about being against animal cruelty, just tell the bri-tch that these eggs were from free-range chickens. No harm, no foul. (excuse the pun 🤣) Still, from a gastroenterological POV, who brings eggs to eat at a wedding? Anybody got any Beano?! All I can say is that this family tree is off to a wonderful start.
No, free range chickens are still not acceptable for vegans. They believe it is "exploitation" to own animals for human benefit.
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NTA. The focus of the day should’ve been about your brother and SIL making a lifetime commitment together in front of their family and friends. I get that she has chosen to be vegan and converted your brother but that does not mean everyone around her has to eat the way she chooses to. I am honestly a little surprised that there were more people bringing their own food to the wedding. The fact that you have dietary restrictions that could kill you and she sees a problem with that is beyond my understanding. OK so you had two eggs in your salad so what. If she didn’t want anything other than her vision then she should have took into consideration yours and others dietary needs and been more cautious about the catering she used. The fact that The day was focused on being vegan has me a little concerned if your brother married the right woman. Do not let your brothers words affect you either he’s just trying to please his new wife when he really needs to tell her to shut up
I can't believe how many people are sticking up for the sister. I'm not vegan, but I am atleast respectful enough to not bring animal products to a vegan's home/special event. The bride NEVER complained about this meal before that, but was simply hoping SIL could leave her visible eggs for *once*. Yet she's irrational? I LOVE eggs but you better not bring that stinky s**t to a day that's already super stressful. Let alone an event that centers around veganism. Literally all she had to do was not add visible eggs.
I would have brought steak. And chicken. And shrimp. Land, sea, and air.
Prejudice. Gross your so thin. Or in the changing room "you b***h". Being a biggot is usually because your an insecure wreck. I want to say why don't you wear something besides that winni the poo sweatshirt with the gravy stain and you may feel better. I've just been done being nice about the cruelty for a while now. I ALWAYS bring food. If not even if I've asked and been told oh absolutely you will be able to eat. Nope mabey a few tomatoes. It's not a choice for many people but a disease.
We just eat at home aside from two restaurants that I'm safe AND they aren't hateful. I'm beyond thin because I have malobsorbtion issues from being diagnosed so late in life and servers are absolutely horrible now days. I waited tables and was behind a bar before I had my own business and I absolutely 💯 understand why I had so many regulars wait hours for my section. I am kind and specific when I order I've even emailed ahead and they are oblivious. Sorry I don't want to eat alone after you fix it and the cooks have angrily thrown it together in a rush. I am mom grandma auntie and have many people I care for and cook for and eating out used to be so wonderful. It's not now. People take no pride in their jobs anymore and I tip 35% most of the time or more for the two places I can safely eat. We used to often. People also have issues with my diet because I'm thin and many women my age are not and let themselves go in other ways as well. I believe it's the last form of socially acceptab
Fck that, these so called "don't shame me for my beliefs and/or choices!" nâtžîs are the first ones to throw a fn fit and shame others for theirs. I would have said something right back, and also to the brother. Fck him, and fck her, for being a fn pos hypocrite. I'll bet she'd flip out if she wasn't accommodated to the fullest at somebody else's wedding, the fn hateful c**t.
This is my life in a nutshell. The last "event" was a tragic funeral we attended. I called our hotel before we left and was assured breakfast had several things I could eat. Wrong. Nothing. We attended the service and then straight to the celebration of life following which had a beautiful table of food setup. The food was literally in front of the entire room no signs. I excused myself to walk into the restaurant it was made and asked about ingredients. I was absolutely starving by this point so I ordered almost everything that was safe and side note not one of the items they served was anything I could eat. I was quiet and didn't say anything as it was a horrible event of a child lost too soon. My father in law apparently didn't see me return to the table and started going on and on about "the food nor being good enough for me". I explained I am a celiac and have three-dour days of full blown neuropathy when I injest gluten and dairy gives me full body hives. We just eat at home re
Yes, even in this day and age, there are those of us not as familiar with vegan food due to not having been around it. And while we know about main anti-vegan (meats), it took me a minute to get that eggs are off-limits because that's a next-level "from" meat.
I hate vegans/vegetarians that think that the world revolves around their personal views. My friend is a vegetarian I eat meat around her all the time. So do her family and other friends. She doesn't expect anyone not to. Besides, chickens lay eggs whether we eat them or not, might as well utilize it
Exactly. And on egg farms those eggs are unfertilized.
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As expected. The Guy is a push over too, I bet. She's gonna run the relationship, probably already is, which in turn is gonna make the guy miserable. She probably pushed the marriage thing on the guy. Then she's gonna wonder "why is he not being a man?" I'd say divorce in about twooo maybe 3 years. I had friends with women who acted just like this woman here. They're all happily single now. I'd NEVER let a woman, even if it's my wife snap at my immediate family like that over a damn meal. We JUST got married and you're tripping over something so trivial....nope, putting my foot all the way down. If she's acts like that then, she'll do it again to you, believe me.
where i work, almost every employee is a vegan, & they're some of the nicest people i know. diet has nothing to do with personality.
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This whole "vegan wedding" is a pile of BS. If you're going to invite people to your wedding, you should serve them whatever they are accustomed to, and not force your vegan habbits upon them, wedding or not. You invite friends to share your special day and not to subject them to your diet. Selfish and immature. Anyone trying to convert me to this, knowing I am a hard core carnivore, would be very ill advised.
NTA but insensitive and unthoughtful. She should have made her own meal vegan and should have realized that adding eggs would raise an eyebrow here and there. Her brother never said she should make her own meal vegan but still this should have been obvious somehow. But then again, this can happen if you allow a guest to bring their own food because of allergies and it's not like OP deliberately wanted to offend the vegans. So it's not like she's an a*****e. I do think the bride seriously overreacted. Maybe she should have focused on what a wedding is actually about, two people uniting in love and celebrating with friends and family, instead of what OP was eating. Nothing ever goes 100% perfect at a wedding. On my wedding day there was also something with food. Yet I can't even be angry about it because it was such a beautiful and fun day and when I recently looked back the video with my husband all I could think about was how amazing our wedding was.
What happened on my own wedding is that we're a mixed couple, he's Nigerian I'm Dutch, with mixed friends and family. After the ceremony there was a festive lunch at a wonderful lunchroom that works with people who have down syndrome and other disabilities. They catered a wonderful lunch. In advance it was agreed that for the picky eaters who don't like anything that isn't Nigerian and for Dutch guests who might want to try something different we could bring food from outside. And a friend who owns a Nigerian restaurant had made boxes with jollof rice. We had paid well for that. Jollof is supposed to be spicy. Made with blended onion, tomato and a good amount of pepper. She had just used food coloring. The taste was bland. Not a single pepper could be traced. It didn't even taste like jollof so the picky eaters who relied on the Nigerian kitchen were still not satisfied. But it didn't matter. It was still our day. And we totally enjoyed!
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Okay but the one YTA comment comparing an egg to a steak is ridiculous.
NTA. Idiotic Vegans prohibit eggs based on their misconception that there is an undeveloped fetus inside. This is factually false. The vast majority of eggs are NOT fertilized and contain no fetus. Roosters are almost never put in contact with laying hens in major farms as it disrupts output. There is no difference between a woman’s monthly ovary and an egg. It’s a natural painless cycle and there is no fetus until fertilized. I am also fed up of the nonsense of vegans thinking they help animals in any way when the amount of one used to cater to them is worse for animals then a slaughterhouse. Animals ARE killed to allow those crops to grow. Land is taken from them and they end up homeless and malnourished because of excessive land use. Grow up.
That is not why vegans do not consume eggs. They refrain from eggs because of the cruelty that occurs on egg farms...i.e. male chicks ground up alive shortly after birth, battery cages, de-beaking, forced-molting, etc. At least be factual if you are going to call others idiotic.
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Mescal comes to mind. Also mead. Try an old fashioned shaken with a raw egg white. It's good. Hot buttered rum. Peppermint patty. Anything from the easter egg series (grasshopper). Irish cream. Mudslides. Actually most liquors are based on grain, not fruit, but i got what you meant.
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Yes n no. You coukd have left the eggs off n had it fully vegan knowing the theme BUT you werent told you HAD to so its on your bro n the wifey for not specifying this from the start
All a bunch of whiners. Should have worn a leather outfit, ate rare veal with rack of lamb for dessert.
YTA but the bride was MORE TA. It was known to be a vegan event so it was insensitive to bring animal products. But the bride should have made an accommodation to make all of her guests comfortable by providing an allergy friendly meal or simply by not losing her cool over an egg. No one ruined your wedding honey.
I'm not sure how else they could have accommodated her allergies. She didn't feel comfortable getting an allergy-friendly meal from their caterer so she asked to bring something she made, and they said yes. I probably would have asked her if there was a vegan restaurant or caterer that she felt safe with and ordered her something from there, but maybe with her allergies there really isn't anyone. I'm not vegan, don't really get why you'd want to be, but I wouldn't show up at an event I was invited (not forced) to wearing leather or eating something blatantly animal. That's just rude. The bride should have handled it better but if veganism is more an ethical rather than dietary issue, I can understand why she'd be upset. I'd expect the same if I took alcohol to a dry wedding.
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So many vegans are obnoxious. Not the ones who have to be vegan for health issues. Not the ones who choose to be vegan and live and let live. I'm talking about the vegan cultists and try to ram it down your throat and shame you.
No one is forced to attend a vegan event. I'd likely take a pass. I certainly wouldn't expect to eat non-vegan food if I did accept because I'm not a vegan. Just say no thanks and stay home eating a philly.
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No.. you are all wrong, the guest IS the AH. I am not vegan and never ever will be, but I would never bring non-vegan food to a wedding when it specifically states that it is vegan only. She could have survived one f*****g meal with out a damn egg. What a a*****e. Try and sweeten it as much as you like... but you suck lady. One god damn meal ... seriously.
Bringing hard-boiled eggs to ANY wedding is inappropriate. They stink, and even if the bride couldn't see them, she would've SMELT them. Plus, there's no telling whether the other guests could've been offended by the eggs, either, as they were just too tactful to say anything. Plus, in addition to being vegan, there's no telling if the bride had sensory issues or not.
That's like bringing Mein Kampf to a Jewish wedding. Some people have no self-awareness. Like, that's everything they're against. I'm not vegan, but I used to be. (I'm vegetarian now.) I can understand the bride and I've had similar experiences as a vegan, like when my family wanted to have a BBQ ON MY BIRTHDAY (as part of a 2-in-1 celebration kind of thing). At the same time, I think that the bride was being dramatic. I'm surprised that so many people are defending OP. There is also one argument that annoys me a lot when people say, which I've seen in these comments. No, a vegan requesting people eat only vegan IS NOT THE SAME AS a meat eater requesting people eat only meat. Being a vegan is about morals and ethics. Eating meat is about you liking the way it tastes. It is NOT THE SAME. There IS NO moral philosophy behind eating meat. You can go without eating meat for ONE MEAL, you probably do all the time, and if you can't then you have a problem (and your heart probably does too).
No, not the same. Also, no, not a moral philosophy. I'm sure there are plenty of vegans who just think chickpeas are healthy and don't want hardened arteries, who like rice and beans because they're cheap and easy and delicious, or who, for whatever reason just don't like greasy food (and have never tried artichokes in butter, because yum). You want a moral philosophy, write it down and define it. Maybe make some pamphlets. Otherwise live with the catch-all basket term. Antivore? Against people who eat for pleasure?
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Yes, she is TA. If the local "ladies business" catered then it is professional. She should have talked to the caterer for reassurance.
Of course you left out all the comments that said OP is the a*****e. Which is so obvious. Is it that hard to leave the eggs out?
It could be a wild conspiracy to hide those comments... Or, it might be that your opinion is just less popular.
Load More Replies... Vegans are miserable bc they're jealous that we get to eat bone in ribeyes with a lobster tail......oh, and cheesecake. But they call their food the stuff they don't want to eat and add "vegan" to the front of it. Isn't the point of being vegan to get away from anything animal? So why call it vegan chicken, vegan beef, vegan bacon, and so on....go make up your own food names like us meat eaters did. Oh, and she's definitely gonna cheat. Unless she's fat, fat women are loyal. Quick fact....TRUE male honesty becomes misogyny.
ESH if it was possible for you to replace the eggs with an allergy -friendly protein, like chickpeas or beans. You were a guest at her wedding, so you should respect the rules of her wedding. But she was beyond rude for staring at your food and complaining about it. I admire the very hard ethical standard vegans uphold, but they are not helping their cause (and, by extension, animals) when they act like assholes and use divisive terms like "animal secretions."
As expected another vegan another pretentious jerk. Pretty sure they’ll get divorced
I would have brought a steak and told bridezilla to go eat a d**k. Vegan snowflakes who feel they have a right to tell other people what they can eat and where because of some dumbass sense of morality makes me sick
Do you cater for cannibals, those who wish to eat dogs or cats? Vegans see all animals as equal, not just the cute pets. If meat eaters are such free thinkers they would provide human meat, dog meat - whatever else might be requested. Why don't they serve horse meat at showjumping events? There's a huge denial with meat eaters that they accept all diets when that's incredibly rare
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She could have left the eggs off but at the same time the bride massively overreacted. If her eating eggs ruined her appetite and her wedding how does she even manage to function in the real world where people are eating meat products all the time? Does she scold everyone around her in other situations as well? I know many vegans are perfectly nice people but there is a certain breed that treats their dietary choices like a religion that they feel they have to force on others and it really feels like this woman may be in that category.
I can only imagine her being one of those typical self righteous pretentious vegan jerks you know the ones who remind you of the animal that died while you eat your bacon and how you’re supporting murder. I imagine she’s that type and I can’t see their marriage lasting. I guess I’m not particularly partial to vegans though considering all my experiences with them are not good
Load More Replies... the bride *CHOSE* to be offended. She was on the lookout for something that might "ruin" her day. The bride chose her own reaction.
I agree. What particularly struck me was the bride staring at her during the whole meal. If she accidentally saw it (I don't think it was accidental) and was disgusted, she should have looked away, concentrate on her own meal or on her new husband (or on anybody or anything else there) and not on his sister and her meal. And saying a wedding is all about veganism is crazy, it's about two people coming together and celebrating their love with friends and families...or at least it should be
Load More Replies... I think the vegan bride is going to have a lot of drama in her life if that's how she reacts to things not going perfectly her way. Sure, be a little annoyed but also get over yourself.
I can only imagine how many holidays and family gatherings shes going to ruin with her veganism.
Load More Replies... I am multiallegic... I can't eat vegan and be full... I would go cold... Without Soy, peanuts fx it is very hard to be full on vegan diet. OP and only OP knows what is good for her. And the risk of dying vs a couple of eggs... Come on thats not acceptable... It is really hard to be allegic... soy is in SO much food and unless you have tried to be really sick, don't junge...
She could eat before or after the wedding and be fine, she wouldn't die if hunger or any allergy. I think both are assholee, the bride overreacted, the brother should've told her not to bring anything non vegan, and she should've thought that its best to remove the eggs and just eat the salad.
Load More Replies... I'm going to assume no leather belts were allowed either, or leather shoes.
Definitely. No wool, either. That was probably specified, but it's a detail that isn't relevant to OP's story.
Load More Replies... Bride's a f*****g lunatic. She LET it ruin her day. She wouldn't have even noticed if she wasn't blatantly staring at her meal. If you want to let stupid s**t ruin your day, by all means, but don't let it be everyone else's problem. Good luck to the groom.
Right, imagine an alcohol free wedding because the groom or bride is a recovering AA. Even if they didn't see that someone brought alcohol would still be disrespectful. I'm not vegan but I get that is almost religious. Now the couple, that made a lot of effort to make their wedding according to their beliefs, can't say that their wedding was vegan anymore, in other words that only vegan food was consumed, that no animals were affected for that occasion. Because of two eggs. It's almost like the sister did it on purpose, how couldnt she let out the eggs for one meal, one single meal? For one of the most important day in her brother's life? What the sister did was disrespectful, but mostly because she is family, you don't expect that kind of disrespect from your family. I think that if some other guest did it the bride would be sad, but not that sad.
Load More Replies... NTA. The bride is, though, for making a guest feel shamed and miserable. A courteous host would never do such a thing.
I agree. It cannot be undone, presumably this is their only wedding, let it go.
Load More Replies... Would it have been so hard to provide a suitable vegan meal for a family member with such serious food allergies? Sorry, just the fact that a guest had to bring their own food to such an important occasion seems rude.
Actually it can be really hard to provide a meal for a person with allergies this severe. It's not as simple as skipping peanuts in your pad thai, the whole kitchen needs to be very thoroughly cleaned, separate cutting boards might need to be used and so on. If they were using a small local catering company it is definitely best to have the guest bring their own food. Better safe than sorry. Or they could have ordered a separate meal from a more serious establishment but that still wouldn't remove the risk of cross-contamination.
Load More Replies... Did the bride and groom ask their guests if they are all vegan too? Or did they just force everyone to be vegan for their wedding? I'm not vegan so I would either choose not to attend, or I'd also bring something to eat so that I get my proper diet. You cannot force people to change their dietary requirements because you think you're entitled to control their food. OP was absolutely within her right as a human to ensure she got the nutrition she needs regardless of the bride's petty rules. What an entitled twatwaffle!
At an event that someone else is planning and paying for, they absolutely decide what people will eat. It's how these things work. If you don't like the menu, don't go or just don't eat. Showing up to someone's event with your own food because you don't like their menu is rude (if you can't go a few hours without your "proper diet" 🙄, then stay home). The sister has allergies, which they accommodated by allowing her to bring a meal. She knew they were both vegan, all the other guests were clearly fine eating vegan on this one day, she should have left the eggs off. If she couldn't go a few hours without eating 2 boiled eggs then she should have not attended. The bride's reaction was over the top and rude, but bringing animal products to eat at a vegan event was also rude.
Load More Replies... I have multiple food intolerances due to IBS (legumes including soya, lentils, chickpeas; cruciferous vegetables like cauliflower broccoli and kale; mushrooms including Quorn, nightshade family which includes tomatoes, aubergine, and potatoes; coconut flour, anything heavily processed) and some allergies (bananas) and there's no way I would feel safe eating a vegan meal at a wedding - I am not willing to risk a the agony of a digestive system reacting to any of the foods I know cause problems. I would definitely need to bring my own food; maybe I wouldn't go the wedding at all. Veganism is a choice which does not suit my diet and lifestyle. I wouldn't bring a meal with eggs in it though because boiled eggs really do stink!
Yep. I would have went to the wedding and skipped the reception. Too dangerous.
Load More Replies... Nta no one told you you had to bring vegan food, your family should know your allergies and being your brother he should have thought of those close to him and arranged for them to have meals they can eat. Weddings are also about joining 2 people not about the food or the party..and it is not a big special Dat that allows them to be assholes. Their meal choice is willfully exclusive, and a force of their ways...they can save that for home not a party of multiple people of different tastes. They are extremely tacky and someone taught them wrong about what a wedding is if they think they get special treatment for housing to bone each other until they divorce.
Yeah, all the people saying she was wrong for brining the eggs aren't thinking that nobody told her to bring a vegan meal. I, personally, wouldn't have even thought about it and would have just brought a meal for myself.
Load More Replies... Unpopular opinion and I'll likely be down voted through the floor but considering the effort the couple went to in planning their day, yes I think YTA as it wouldn't have been difficult to leave off the eggs for one meal, I understand the choice to take your own food due to allergies but you had a choice not to attend the event if you didn't want to follow the very specific and obviously important vegan theme, would you take alcohol to an alcohol free event organised by a recovering alcoholic? Much the same concept really
The whole "it's one meal" argument can go both ways. Now the sister is getting married, she's having an all carnivorous wedding. Is she then allowed to b***h that the sister in law brought something vegan? It's just one meal, why couldn't she just eat meat so the sister could have a good wedding?
Load More Replies... So do the bride and groom only go to vegan restaurants for the fear of seeing .... an egg!! Oh the shock! Oh the horror!!!
what you, & so many others, are failing to understand is that it was their WEDDING; a day for them to be happy, a day for them to celebrate how they wish. a public restaurant is not theirs, so they wouldn't be surprised or upset. the wedding is theirs & they are completely justified in wanting a day that aligns with their morals. op disrespected their wishes & their morals on a day that was supposed to be about them. if it was a backyard barbecue & op brought eggs, i'm sure there wouldn't be an issue. but because it was their special day, it was extremely crass of op to go against what they knew the couple wanted.
Load More Replies... I'm a chef, dealing with vegetarian (easy) and vegan (not-so-easy) guests. Especially not easy, when you have a vegan guest in a 30-40 tourist group, who paid for a buffet-dish, which as far away from being vegan in an average hotel, as the chances of US, being a real 1st world country. But even so, we always prepare special dishes for our vegan guests. I can say, that 100% of the cases they are grateful for having a full-dish, and not just french-fries or plain rice. Not to speak about special vegan-desserts, what we also make for them. They are paying the same price as the vegetarian or omnivorous guests, they deserve full dishes and desserts. With all of these said, the bride and brother were in this situation huge AH!
Your comment warmed my heart. I have been Vegan for 12 years. I never expect anyone to cater to my choices nor do I judge anyone for how they eat as I am fully aware that food is so much more than just how we nourish our body's cells. It's culture, memory, identity, lots of things. I totally get that. Being Vegan is my choice, and I cannot even tell you how many times I have eaten just french fries or nothing at all because I wanted to participate socially with family or friends, but there was nothing I could eat. That is so incredibly awesome of you to make vegan options available to a guest who had nothing else but french fries to eat. I would so proudly eat in your restaurant. We humans are complex and come from so many different backgrounds and experiences, but your efforts to try to bring people together and to be gracious just really warmed my heart. Bless you for being such a kind and empathetic human being.
Load More Replies... Did she have bring the eggs? No. But, as someone with a soy plus many others allergy, it is extremely difficult to feed yourself. Soy is in EVERYTHING. So you eat what you can eat because there isn't a ton you can eat. I only eat at 2 restaurants because they specifically cater to people with food issues. Also, I wouldn't have gone to the reception anyway. Too dangerous.
I don't disagree with her skipping the catered meal because that was the safest thing for her to do. However, she doesn't seem to understand why bringing eggs to a completely vegan event was offensive. She clearly can eat salad. If I was in her position, I would have brought the salad (maybe a really big one), and eaten the eggs at home before I went. Her safety is obviously paramount, but unless she can only eat eggs and nothing else, she screwed up here. I think I would have apologized to the bride, not in a way that excuses the bride's meltdown, which was not good but more along the lines of "I'm sorry about the eggs at your wedding. I accept that veganism is important to you and I should have been more aware of what I was bringing." If it mends the relationship a bit, then it's worth it. I'm having a hard time believing that the sister really doesn't get why the eggs were offensive or that she innocently tossed them in to begin with. She knew their lifestyle, knew the menu.
Load More Replies... Oh, jesus...how is the sister the a*****e if she brought her own food? As someone with food allergies myself, I often bring my own food if I have too many questions about what's being served. Like Mary Rogers pointed out, how does this woman function in the real world if seeing people eat non vegan ruins her appetite?
Everyone is overly focused on the food allergies thing. The only thing you need to know is she brought her own food to an event with the permission of her host, and then the host got b**chy when she saw what she made for herself to eat. Its a salad. It's not offensive unless you choose to be offended. Bridezilla ITA.
She should not have brought eggs, but once the damage was done there was no point mentioning it. Its one day. Bride is a tacky b***h, berating her for "ruining" her wedding. This is why comedians always make fun of vegans, their humorless intolerance for others.
I really sympathize because a family member that I live with has severe food allergies so sometimes we have to leave restaurants to accommodate, that’s how bad it is so I understand the struggle. But still, did you need the eggs?
I always downvote any "am I the jerk" posts here. What happened to the posts about creative people doing awesome things? I'm really tired of s**t-people posts. Really. I downvote them all.
I'm tired of people complaining about a websites content rather than finding a new site with content they prefer.
Load More Replies... I'm gonna have to go with YTA, OP knew how important veganism was to the bride and she knew it was the theme of the wedding. You have to be a complete idiot to think bringing food with obvious animal products in it would not be seen as disrespectful. It would have been incredibly easy to just not put eggs in her salad. I'm not vegan myself and I do agree the bride overreacted, but I think OP is in the wrong too.
It's an ESH verdict if you think both parties were a-holes.
Load More Replies... I'm vegan too, but I would have been fine if someone brought their own food, especially if they had allergies and it was hard to tell if there was any cross contamination, etc. I'm used to bringing my own food to events anyway like family get togethers because none of the food anyone makes is vegan and only my sister makes a vegan dish.
Those vegans and they believe that they must be honoured and respected as gods. Makes me think that all their entirely personality is based on veganism olny and there's nothing more behind
It's their wedding. They get to pick the menu because they are paying for it. If this was a vegan sister in law demanding that every family meal be vegan that would be a very different issue. But when you plan and pay for an event, you decide what's going to be offered. People can decline if they don't like it.
Load More Replies... And for all those calling out the SIL for being the a$$***e, saying it was "clearly a vegan wedding", well then, I guess it should've been "clear" to all guests that leather shoes, belts, purses should not have been worn AND that all makeup worn must be vegan & not tested on animals! Again, if you're going to call out one person, be ready to call out ALL persons!
Everyone that said she's the a**hole, are clearly a**holes themselves. The entire situation sounds like a control freak, not being able to control everyone around her. I bet she used the love of her fiance to convert him to vegan. Like "You don't convert and I'll leave you or we can't be together." Knowing darn well he wasn't vegan when they met. I can guarantee they went on dates and he ate non vegan food before her and she didn't "lose her appetite" or "ruin her day". She's full of s**t and a b***h. I would hate for that to be my new SNL. 😭
OK, you could have left the eggs off, but your brother told you to bring your own food. You don't tell me that I have to supply my own food and then tell me what I can eat. You are not the a*****e in this scenario. And your sister-in-law just goes to show exactly why vegans don't get respect. There are so many of them who are good people and don't care what you eat, they would rather you not eat animal stuff but they get it. Those are quiet people and they mind their own business. People like your sister-in-law, the big mouth who thinks that what everybody eats is her business, that cause other people to disrespect vegans.
did they also demand every single guest to get new shoes if they only owned leather ones?
It's stories like this, I feel, that cause Vegan's to get a bad rap. There are scores of similar stories floating around and it gives the impression that Vegan's are absolute crack pots 😜
In my experience every vegan tries to get you to change your diet. You're eating in the lunch room at work and the vegan is there and has to give you s**t about what you eat.
Load More Replies... I'm getting sick and tired of all the veganazis who make the decent vegans look bad. "Do the same as me, or you're BAD!" Some of them act like it's a cult, when it's just food.
This is my problem with vegans. I have seemingly only met one type, the ones that try to convert everyone. And usually the ones who try converting everyone are the one who look sick and like their eating a very awful diet.
Load More Replies... Unless I just CAN'T get out of it, I decline most all wedding invitations. I send a nice gift and well wishes but avoid the "wedding day drama" if at all possible. I do understand the groom is the OP's brother so she really couldn't opt out but I also suspect if she hadn't "ruined" the bride's day, someone else would have.
I also avoid weddings at all costs. The food is never worth the aggravation, and I can get cake anywhere. My issue with this is that they agreed to her bringing her own food and she threw eggs in. Unless she truly didn't realize that eggs aren't vegan, it was a jerk move. Everyone else who attended seems to have been fine with vegan for a few hours. I'm on the fence as to whether this was intentional in a very passive aggressive way.
Load More Replies... I'm not vegan, but my sister is. I like to cook, therefore I have learned plenty of recipes that are vegan and delicious, not all of them contain the listed allergens, and plenty of them simple to make. If OP had bothered to do just a little research she could have realised that, and prepared something that was vegan. Op KNEW that the wedding was vegan. So she's been quite disrespectful to bring a non-vegan meal with her. Yes, bride overreacted, but like I said, disrespect. Everyone kinda sucks here, but mostly OP.
OP really should have thought this through better. She knew the couple were vegans, and she knew they'd gone to a lot of effort to have a vegan and ecologically thoughtful wedding. I'm sure there was some sort of protein option she could have added to her salad that wasn't so clearly an animal product. Hard boiled eggs are pretty distinctive in shape, color, and odor.
Oh my gosh I didn't think of that the odor, even at first she or the guests hadn't seen the eggs they would have smelled them.
Load More Replies... It would have been so easy to not bring the eggs, just to be kind. Now there's the problem of tension. I hope they see the bigger picture and apologize to the couple, not focus on who's right/wrong but on having a nice relation from now on.
I am going with YSA. It would have been entirely reasonable to not add eggs to the salad for one meal, when attending a wedding that is clearly vegan and trying to be as eco friendly as possible. To say "but I didn't receive specific instructions" is stupid, read the room. Sounds passive aggressive to me.
Why should she read the room when the hosts couldn't be bothered to accommodate her life and death allergy?
Load More Replies... Well if YTA, then I suspect you're not the only one because I'm SURE they're were guests there wearing leather shoes, leather belts and/or leather purses. So, if the bride feels it necessary to call out 1 offender, then she should've called out ALL offenders!
I'm vegan and even I think the bride is carrying on a bit, my partner and our 21 year old son are not vegan and never once have I tried to force or guilt them into it, it's MY choice, if my partner and I were to get married I wouldn't expect everyone at the wedding to eat vegan just because I am, it's great to have principles just don't force them on others, life is too short to be cracking the shits and arguing with people over everything
There seems to a thing vegans don't understand eighter.all tamed chickens lay eggs.it Dosent mather if you ever plan to eat em or how they live. it's just a waste not to eat them (and even if you don't Wana eat) let people who want to.like for real
Vegans don't believe that people should own chickens or other domesticated animals, period. What they ignore is that many domesticated animals would not survive in the wild anymore. Not sure about chickens but sheep have been bred to produce massive amounts of wool and would not survive in the wild because they need to be sheared. But according to vegans, that is "exploitation."
Load More Replies... Overreaction from the bride, I can't stand snowflakes like her, just grow up, the world isn't going to accommodate to your desires or your views, learn to deal with it as a damn adult.
Snowflake, huh? Cute... I think maybe you need to take your own advice.
Load More Replies... There was no reason to cause a family rift over something like this. Wife could have asked the husband to speak privately to the sister. Situation could have been handled at 2 not a 10. No reason to call people names over a simple correction. Also, how does this person get by in the real world? Does she react this way normally? Or did she decide to freak out on the sister because she felt entitled to as the bride? I can't stand it when people use life events, like a wedding, to treat family like c**p. Especially since she was trying so hard to make life easier for them by bringing her own food.
oh lookie a karen how fitting for the statement made
Load More Replies... ESH. Brother sucks for not providing you with a safe meal to eat at his wedding reception. You suck for bringing eggs to a vegan wedding (and because hard boiled eggs stink). Bride sucks for dramatic overreaction. You all suck for not talking to one another like human beings who care about one another.
Everybody sucks here. Bring a power bar. Accept that someone around you will do something contrary to your morals. Communicate like adults. Have perspective.
Imagine being told to eat a power bar while everyone else has a large catered meal full of things you're deathly allergic to. She got permission and wasnt told she absolutely had to bring a vegan meal.
Load More Replies... Why couldn't you have just left the eggs out? Or like chopped them up into the salad to make it so it wasn't big pieces of egg on the top? It kind of sounds like you did this on purpose. NGL.
YTA It's not ok to bring steak to a Hindu wedding or bacon to a Jewish one. You can fulfill your dietary restrictions without violating the basic beliefs of the people who invited you.
But she couldn't fulfill, because her brother and wife, don't give a flying f.uck about her special diet.
Load More Replies... As a national advocate for food allergies it hurts my heart to see this. Many times people think we can just eat vegan and the truth is many vegans get protein from nuts whereas many with food allergies can not and have to rely on other sources. In my humble opinion the couple should have made the entire thing inclusive so she did not have to bring food. Since they did not, if the vegan theme was so important they should have worked with her to find a meal she could bring. Having life threatening food allergies can be stressful and scary EVERY DAY of your life. The pressure e to be part of a wedding is a lot and then add on the pressure of being sure to bring your own healthy foods is even tougher. She has a medical condition. This over reaction made things worse than what they were. If this is how she reacted when someone was accommodating her at their own expense imagine how life with her will be for the brother . Good luck dude
Vegs need to stop whining. They demand their own food everywhere, even make people go to extra expense and work to get/make something just for them, but gods forbid you have food issues. I have some serious medical issues that require a special diet. As my dr. told me when he brought it up, “it’s a b***h of a diet.” No whole grains. No raw vegetables, which the way I really like them. (Oh for a crisp green salad!). No cruciferous veg, (broccoli, etc.). No onions, leeks, scallions. No tomatoes or other acid fruit/veg. No garlic, no hot spices. No beans, lentils, chickpeas, nuts, or seeds. (Can’t even eat peanut butter, it makes me ill ). No citrus. Low-fat dairy only. No-to-low sugar only, unless I’m passing out from low blood sugar. Which I do, and I can never sense it coming. So, honestly, there’s not much I could eat at a vegan meal. Should I watch the vegs eating as I pass out from low sugar? Am I expected to leave before the reception?
So many vegans think they can impose their ways on others because they perceive themselves as being morally superior. I don't get offended if I see someone eating vegan so they don't get to be offended if they see me eat something that isn't vegan. It's such a ridiculous way of thinking. They were unwilling to accommodate her OP's food allergies so why should she accommodate them? The focus of a wedding should be the people getting married, not "veganism". Sounds like the bride cared more about people patting her on the back for how much she cares about the planet rather than the actual purpose of the event. I'm glad she got mad. Good for OP and I hope she enjoyed those eggs.
Holy s**t, what a bunch of pussies everyone is. I honestly am starting to believe we are going to go extinct because of how much of a pussy being ,humans have become. Grow the f**k up and start to care about the real problems in life, not the imaginary one you create so you feel special.
The bride is the ahole and why no one likes vegan they are not religious zealots than the catholics and Muslims in the 11century. I get it the bride whatever but no one else noticed. Not like u wore a white dress on her day or anything
It was the brides wedding day..... It was selfish to bring in food that wasn't vegan. The bride overreacted BUT they change their way of life because of this... yet she couldn't go one meal without eating animal? I'm with the bride on this one. At first I was with the op but if you really think about it ..... It was rude AF. The smell of eggs pulls someone in that doesn't eat them. I feel like sister was the one looking for the fight ...hince the posting of a family altercation. That's just me tho.
Screw vegans always trying to push that s**t on other people. Also aren't soy, sesame and basically all of your allergies the main ingredients in a vegan diet? The only people who would call OP the AH are vegans, the ones that force it in people with terms like "zombie" etc. just having an all vegan meal at a wedding seems wrong to me. I get it, it's their day but their day can still be great without basically saying "f**k my guests, who cares if they go hungry".
You have some serious rage toward vegans, dude.
Load More Replies... She could have left the eggs but but she seems to have issues with a lot of non meat proteins and may have needed the protein to get through the day. What I wonder is if the bride and groom made it very clear that there were no leather belts, shoes, purses, or watch bands allowed and if they also policed that and shamed people over it. Cut flowers can also deprive pollinators of food, so how she square that? Did she arrive in a car that ran on petroleum based products that hurt the environment? What about the guests who did? Did she ask no one wear red clothing or lipstick in case beetles were crushed to make the dye. Was everyone checked for cruelty free makeup/deoderant/ perfume? (Or were from China - or companies that also sell in China- where animal testing is usually requred). Was everyone's jewelry sustainably sourced? No one had plastic sheathed tampons or a plastic Tylenol bottle? Was it just the OP the bride was policing?
i don’t think most people have considered this, but 99% of vegan alternatives in my experience use either soy or peanut/tree nut products, neither of which OP can have. sure, OP could’ve just left it out, but zero protein in the meal wouldn’t have been enough and OP probably would’ve felt very hungry and sluggish, thus affecting their enjoyment. i understand the bride’s whole “we’re having a vegan wedding” argument but she and the groom are basically asking OP to not have a satisfying/filling meal. maybe there are vegan products made without soy or peanut/tree nut ingredients, but i’ve never heard of them. OP is NTA, but could’ve checked with their brother to see if eggs were okay since vegan alternatives contain things they’re extremely allergic to and it’s unrealistic to expect someone to not have a filling meal because they can’t have what you’re offering and you won’t/can’t provide a safe alternative
Honestly? I don't think it's relevant. Anybody who isn't actively starving themselves should be able to miss a meal entirely, let alone munch on something that is less than a perfectly balanced meal. Japanese rice balls, tempura veggies with dip, etc. She chose a salad and frankly, i refuse to believe that adding an egg to the salad did anything to boost her energy levels or stave off imminent starvation. That being said, I agree with the last bit. Since she's bringing her own food anyway, she's entitled to bring anything she wants (within reason, which hard boiled eggs are.) She's entitled to a nice meal, just like everyone else. I can't even imagine getting mad at someone else for bringing food that THEY like after I invited them and failed to accomidate their needs. Bride is gross.
Load More Replies... OP was damned if she did and damned if she didn't...I can appreciate the bride and groom wanting their event to be a certain way but given the situation, which involves a life and death component, one, or both, should take the extra time to be explicit to avoid any misunderstanding, if it was that important. Yes, OP could have left off the eggs but bride and groom could have also gone the extra few yards and have a single meal prepared for their sister/SIL. Both sides made assumptions and came up short. However, blowing your top over two eggs? I mean, trust and believe that there will be much more serious issues to deal with, going forward, and two eggs will seem like child's play. Life is way too short to be yolked with c**p. Yes, pun intended.
I'd have just not gone. How you eat is your decision but you don't get to decide mine no matter who you are or what the occasion is.
YTA. It is pretty challenging to throw an eco friendly vegan wedding. All that extra work, consideration and cost....for it not to end up vegan? And then to bring EGGS?! The stinkiest option possible . She wanted attention. OP is a selfish b for that.
The brother and SIL are delusional. They can try all they want to make the wedding."cruelty free" or vegan, but good luck policing that. Did they forbid leather garments/shoes/belts? I'm willing to bet there was leather there. Did everyone in attendance walk to and from? Or did they use cars and planes that burn fossil fuels and pollute? Did they have a moment of silence for all the animals killed (moles, mice, snakes, ground nesting birds) or displaced plowing the soybean fields? What about the fish and aquatic life destroyed by the irrigation if these crops? Or is it ok for cruelty towards those species, but not cows, chickens, and pigs? These people need to get a grip. Even IF they had a legitimate gripe for the OP to herself how she is freely allowed to chose, and even IF, they are completely blind the fact the are still perpetuating animal cruelty, they still should forgive this person, show some grace, AND MOVE ON with their lives.
It's very telling when someone prioritizes a diet over human relationships. The OP is a family member. That should take priority over a diet. I try hard to avoid highly processed food, sugary food, junk food, and highly refined carbohydrates. Do I harass others that eat food I find offensive and would rather not be around to avoid temptation? No. People are free to choose the food they want to eat. My relationship with them is more important to me than food choices. As far as some comments regarding prejudice against vegans, I get it. It is very wrong to pigeon hole all vegans as controlling buzz kills. Remember for every out of control vegan like the SIL, there's also out of control carnivores that accuse vegans of child abuse.
Uhm, it's her food that they didn't supply. Pretty ridiculous to tell a grown woman what she can and cannot eat, your wedding or not. Talk about a self centered, over reactive, AH bridezilla. Gross. Honestly, it's a grand total of two eggs. No animals were harmed in the making of her salad... This is why I don't care to be around people. It's all about the drama. You can't just take a step back and mind your own business, even at your wedding, people can't control their emotions and throw tantrums like children and always have excuses as to why it's justified. If I were the OP, I would never attend another function that the SIL invited me to.
I mean, I'd still probably go. I'd probably just bring a sack of McDonald's next time.
Load More Replies... Lordy, yes. The fiercest fighting is often between groups that *almost* agree.
Load More Replies... Anyone who tries to force their ideology onto everybody around them is The A by default. Vegan wedding is not a "theme" its a political statement, as evidenced by the brides reaction.
I am not saying you are not correct about the wedding being a political / moral statement not a theme but it's their wedding and expecting people to follow those rules while at their wedding is their right. Let's give a few examples: #1 Recovered alcoholics having an alcohol-free wedding, I can see why they would equally be upset for completely different reasons if someone brought alcohol to their wedding. #2 Jewish wedding, you wouldn't bring bacon to a Jewish wedding for obvious religious reasons. #3 Hindu wedding, you wouldn't bring beef of any kind to a Hindu wedding again for obvious religious reasons. So why is this different?
Load More Replies... F**k any event that tries to force a lifestyle on you... even if it's just for the evening. I would of left the wedding with monetary gift in hand.
Here's how events like this work: someone plans and pays for it; you get an invite and info; if you dislike anything offered or expected, you decline. No one was forced to change their lifestyle. Would I have enjoyed attending a vegan wedding? Probably not, but I either would have stayed home or nibbled my way through whatever didn't bother me and then ate more substantially when I went home. It's nice if a wedding has a varied menu to make everyone happy, but that's not a requirement. This couple chose a vegan lifestyle; they shouldn't have to offer you prime rib because vegan is not your lifestyle. I don't eat pork (it's just gross), but I wouldn't go to an event that listed a whole roasted pig as the meal and then get mad because I wasn't asked if I'd rather have beef. I'd eat what I was ok with and move along. Events are purely optional. Don't like the details, don't go. But don't assume that you get to throw a fit and be accommodated because you dislike something.
Load More Replies... What kind of moron has an all vegan wedding? You know everyone went out to eat after and talked about how shitty the food was and probably laughed at the bride for blowing her lid over 2 eggs.
Load More Replies... Why should the OP accommodate the bride and groom's choices for the food that the people around them were putting into their own personal bodies, when they couldn't be bothered to accommodate for her allergies? They didn't care about her potentially dying from the food they were having served (it's not hard to find a caterer that will accommodate for allergies, they just didn't bother), so they left her to fend for herself. Not only did they not provide her with a meal that they were providing everyone else with, they got mad at her for not following THEIR diet when she brought her own food.
Was thinking the same thing. I don't care what other folks lifestyle is, in all aspects, but don't be forcing me to play along when I clearly have a different lifestyle.
Load More Replies... My friends and I used to potluck often. One person said she was a vegetarian, so I made sure there were enough vegetarian items for her - salad, pasta made with absolutely no meat or fish, etc. I kept the meat items separate. One time, she showed up with a piece of salmon from a restaurant. I didn't think vegetarians ate fish, but it turned out she happily ate fish and chicken. Confusing to all involved.
Yall saying she's an AH would absolutely be pissed if it was vice versa; meat eateries trying to forcea vegan/vegetarian to eat meat. So why tf should it be different for someone with food allergies?
If two eggs can " ruin " your wedding there's something wrong with you
The bride is a control freak who wants her desires to be fulfilled to the least. The groom is a hypocrite. However you knew it was a vegan wedding, therefore you would have excused yourself during meal time and sit somewhere separate. That's why I love my African culture.
Of course not! Why sanction or cater to cruelty. Veganism is not a diet, it is a whole philosophy and lifestyle that is geared towards living with kindness in the most practical and possible way. Would you bring ham to a barmizah or a satinist to a churchgroup?
not the same as in your words "veganism is a lifestyle choice" thats where it ends morals and ethics were never part of it people just like to pretend they are
Load More Replies... This whole story is indicative the decline of western civilization. Shakes head...
Seems to me one of the biggest arguments to be made is, are eggs considered vegan? I know plenty of vegans and it's pretty spit between them whether or not its vegan because of the lack of fertilization. And while I'm sure there are people out there to argue "if you eat eggs you're not a real vegan" but really vegan is all about the moral aspect. And the fact of the matter is, opinions always gonna vary. OP should have checked to see which side of the line bride and groom fell on but in the end I don't see anything wrong with it. She did what she thought was the right thing. Bride way overreacted. Truth be told, I'm so baffled by the idea of anything the bride says goes. First, its the grooms wedding too. Second if you want everyone attending to think like you, than you shouldnt have one. Just go down to the courthouse. Third, a wedding these days is just an excuse to have a party where you're the guest of honor, instead of celebrating finding your life partner as it should be. No poin
You can call yourself anything you want. Vegan means no animal products. There is no ambiguity, moral, or otherwise. Words mean what they mean. Too many people are afraid to not be confined to some tiny little box, so they cling to it. You want to eat eggs? Eat eggs. Just don't tell me that they're vegan eggs.
Load More Replies... The whole situation was a powder keg, the bride definitely overreacted, but maybe they the brother should have put more effort into communication ahead of the event to diffuse it in advance. He was the go-between so definitely should have put more time and effort into a suitable compromise. Also, there very likely were other attendees with dietary restrictions that should have been considered and a professional caterer probably would have been more attuned to that.
The brother absolutely got off lightly here. He was the one arranging the meal situation with her and he could have also have pulled her aside an asked her to remove the eggs. What makes the bride the AH here is not her request but the way she resorted to personal attacks instead of just politely requesting she not eat eggs or quietly get rid of them. A minute of communication could have avoided the whole mess and the brother could have helped with that.
Load More Replies... The sister-in-law is NOT the A**H**E! She got permission from her brother before the wedding. 1. Ahe had many allergies that are LIFE THREATENING! 2. Her brother should have said some to his wife. 3. His sister needed protein; especially if she has health issues! 4. Egggs are NOT yet an animal! They are taken BEFORE an animal is formed! Get over it! The wedding wasn't ruined, unless the bride LET it bother her to "ruin her entire day!" What a BRAT! Some ego on her! She doesn't care about her husband's sister?! They couldn't have a pasta dish made for her? I worked in the food industry, and know about cross contamination. I have also experienced anaphylaxis due to an allergy! Its not pretty! The sister-in-law did what was the safest, and best thing she could for her health! There was no other way. Eggs were her best choice for protein in her salad. What was she suppose to do, eat nothing for the entire event?! Usually when people have allergies, there are other health conditions with it
1. As has been pointed out, leaving off the eggs is an easy option. This invalidates point 1, because it was never a choice between risking her life or eating eggs. False dilemma. 2. Brother probably didn't think it would be an issue. See point 1. She got dispensation to bring her own food, not to bring whole pig and roast it. She took a liberty that was beyond what was agreed to. 3. B******t. Sorry, but that's simply not how eating works. It takes hours to digest protein at the best of times. 4. Milk never becomes an animal. Cheese. Butter. Eggs wouldn't exist without dinosaurs--er chickens. Your whole argument is invalid.
Load More Replies... Why force vegan on guests? Every wedding I’ve been to and those I’ve paid for have catered to everyone’s dietary need or preference. If someone is vegan or vegetarian or has particular dietary needs , we’ve made sure they are included in the menu choice. Non of this my way or no way nonsense when it comes to feeding the guests.
Why is it always OK for a vegan to get upset at an omnivore for their inability to go one meal without meat, but I'm an ahole if I give them s for not just eating one meal with meat in it! I know, lack of meat in one's diet can make you intolerant to digesting meat, but hey, you did that to you! Which highlights the main problem with vegans, they are often self righteous hypocrites. My stepmom is vegan, and I often try the vegan dishes she makes, without complaining, because she has never forced them apon me, and if I eat meat in front of her, she never says a thing. Mutual respect, it's what the world needs most and almost never gets...NTA
I completely agree with being your own food because of allergies, I have severe food allergies myself but you shouldn't have included obvious animal anything. Vegans as I am sure you are aware since your brother has been one for a few years aren't the same as vegetarians, vegans don't eat animals or animal products such as eggs and dairy. Depending on how strict the vegan they can go quite far in their lifestyle in excluding animal products because it isn't a diet for many of them, it is a lifestyle and a moral one at that. Where was vegetarians it can be for dietary reasons only or if they choose it to be more then that. Vegetarians and vegans are very different, I say this as a current pescatarian and previous vegetarian with lots of vegan friend.
When you don't eat any animal product a lot of nuts and soya make up for the lack of things most people get in their diary from animal products She's allergic to all of it If she would live vegan while also avoiding her allergies she would soon be malnurished Sure was her wedding and all, OP could have brought a salad without eggs and such But then what? She's going to do this at every gathering? What about spending a few days together at Thanksgiving or such ? When she can't eat nuts or soy and are not allowed to eat anything coming from an animal she'll lack fat and protein Maybe fine for s meal or a day even, but that's what gives the body energy That bride will soon complain that her sister in law doesn't eat her cakes with all the nuts in it, just you wait
Shows an obvious character flaw with the bride that she obviously wanted everyone to see. Shows a lack of consideration on both counts. I believe the bride ruined her day. By simply saying so, while the narrative also fits to point blame for the flaws within her own wedding. Irony a side, I think the bride's point of view is disgusting and selfish to say the least. I mean to outright condemn and judge someone for not complying to their beliefs. Without taking any other reasoning into consideration. Big day or not it's a very "Karen" like mentality. And goes to show that the pushover for a husband probably named Kevin" are perfect for each other. Congratulations Example: If I'm Jewish and I go to your Christian wedding. Would you be disgusted and thought I ruined your big day because I wore a yarmulke. It's all perspective people.
Years ago, for my 40th birthday, we went to Le Manoir Au Quat'Saisons nesr Oxford. We booked well in advance, and I mentioned that my (now) wife had a nut allergy. Their response was absolutely stellar: "Not a problem sir. We will ensure the entire kitchen is nut-free on the day, and we'll schedule a deep cleanse that morning." I was amazed, and gratified.
This will be unpopular. 1. Most vegan protein sources are SOY based which was listed as one of the severe allergies. As someone who also cannot have soy or any legume finding proteins sources that are plant based is next to impossible. 2. This is for the people who said YTA because it's just 1 meal and you didn't need to eat any animal byproducts, that same logic could be used by couples who are not vegan or vegitarian. As in it's just one meal can't you just eat meat. Omnivore couples are expected to have a vegetarian/sometimes vegan alternative for the wedding feasts. Just offering some perspective as someone who both has an allergy that essentially prevents an exclusively plant-based diet and that the one meal argument is c**p because nobody wants to have to risk their life or their beliefs for one meal.
Not putting eggs on her salad wouldnt be risking her life.
Load More Replies... People saying she could have brought vegan options need to realize a lot of vegan alternatives are based on things the OP can't eat. The alternative could have been a meal without protein, which really isn't healthy either. I'm saying this because I've lived at a boarding school with a vegan diet and it was really tough in me not being able to eat a lot of the food that was presented because of my own issues. Vegans who doesn't focus on getting proteins will run into rouble, and some of us experience that even without during just a meal or two (depending on how long the wedding lasted). So why I think it was in poor taste to bring eggs, finding alternatives isn't necessary easy.
When I, a carnivore, got married, we had vegan options for guests who did not want to eat animal product. The least a vegan could do is extend the same courtesy to their guests.
The difference is us omnivores have no food restrictions that prevent us from eating vegetarian and vegan food. The opposite is not true. OP had allergies and in this case it's understandable why she wanted to bring food that was safe for her to eat, but she could have chosen something that was not an obvious animal product. Like if she'd put cheese in instead of eggs, no one would have known it was not vegan.
Load More Replies... I don't get why she cares. She didn’t provide animal products for her wedding. Which is in her control. Good for her as shes paying for it. Someones allergies and wanting to not go to the emergency room and ruin things are not up to her. Why don’t you eat what you want and let others eat what they want and call it a day. You pushing your belief on someone else is a d**k move regardless of what day it is. Why you care so much about what someone else eats is crazy and just says your a control freak. People like that are just irritating.
Im going with NTA but only because of the bride's reaction. Bringing eggs to a vegan wedding isn't something I would do, and I think it was just a choice that wasn't really thought through. However, OP wasn't told that her personal meal had to be vegan, so it's easy to assume that she thought it was okay with everyone. The thing is, it feels like the bride was looking for some sort of drama. She could have just told OP that she wasn't okay with the eggs and not try to guilt trip, but she chose to be rude. And anyways, OP brought the eggs cause of a miscommunication. It wasn't a deliberate "fu" to the bride and groom, or some statement against veganism, she brought the eggs as something to eat. Like I said, it's just a poorly thought out desicion and if it weren't for the bride's reaction, it could have been a mistake that can be forgotten about, but now the bride has soiled her and probably her husband's relationship with OP.
Both were idiots. The lady should have stuck to something vegetarian for a day that did not kill her. It is not that hard. It is also not rocket science. If i know someone is vegan and is having a vegan wedding, i am not going to bring anything non-veg. She could have asked for suggestions to bring. The bride reacted badly but she is the lesser idiot, i think. Or the lady could have just eaten and come.
I'll eat whatever I want, wherever I want. If I was going to a vegetarian cookout I'd be sure to bring some meat. I wouldn't be caught dead at any sort of vegan event. Mostly because I don't want to spend the whole event with them trying to convert me and pushing their diet on me.
Load More Replies... I agree that OP's choice was a tad bit passive aggressive, and I commend her for it. Years ago, I attended a wedding in the immediate family. The dinner of choice was "meat with meat on meat". I am a vegetarian. When I (very gently) asked about the menu, I was informed it was their day and they didn't actually care if I found something to eat. So... I feel where OP is coming from, AND I think bridezilla needs to grow the f**k up.
Also, I wonder how the bride and groom would have reacted if OP had taken the risk and ended up in the ER with an anaphylactic shock? Probably screamed at her for being dramatic and making it all about her. I would be ASHAMED if any of my guests felt I didn't bend over backwards to make them as comfortable as possible.
Load More Replies... Reading posts similar to this one help me to reveal how antisocial I am. I mean, how much silly problem and "insurmontable" situation one can avoid by just not taking part in some social events. Further "I mean": I dont get why people - in both sides - make such a case on minor occurrences in weddings. It is one meal out of a person day. Cant the person just skip the meal, or just fake-eating to avoid some embarrassment to the hosts? Yes, It is kind of a==holy to ask someone organizing a wedding to find a particular accomodation for one's particular situation. First, they already have hundred of things to take care, and you are not the only one who would like a special accomodation. Just behave in a way you dont like for six hours, even if this mean that you dinner was not perfect. Get a bigger lucnh before, be a guest and go with the party the couple is able/willing to provide. Or simply dont go.
And she's going to go to a non-vegan wedding and throw a fit when they don't provide her with a vegan meal. Probably. "Animal secretions?"
While the brother should have let the caterers know about the allergies to see if they could have catered a safe meal for her bringing eggs to a vegan event even if you aren't vegan is a major no no. There are plenty of other things that would not have caused issues. Conclusion. Everybody is at fault.
A wedding is one event,and the focus is meant to be on the bride and groom. Why was veganism the "focus" of the wedding? It should be a totally separate event in itself, if at all, and it shouldn't matter at all that someone brought non-vegan food for themselves to eat. Sounds like a lot of ignoramus people, frankly. all the way around.
As a lifelong vegetarian, I can honestly say that imo, people like this bride are the ones that give the rest of us a bad name. I can understand her being a little annoyed, but telling somebody you couldn’t provide safe food for that they ruined your whole wedding with an egg seems like a massive overreaction. When you have alternative beliefs, you can’t just expect everybody else to know what you want or need, you need to tell them, and nobody told OP. The freak out was basically like telling her she’s a terrible person just because she doesn’t live like the bride lives, and that’s never cool.
I go with ESH, will not repeat all arguments. But want to add this: I've been a vegetarian (bordering on vegan) for about 35 years now. I find meat disgusting. But who am I to force my personal preferences upon the world? I am not the food police. If you eat meat next to me I will not tell you off. Those militant vegans are not helping to promote a plant-based lifestyle with this type of behavior.
If the bride reacts this poorly over a guest bringing their own food to a wedding over food allergies, God help that poor groom saddled with such an antisocial Karen. I give this marriage a year tops. Sorry folks. The rest of us see more dire things going on in the world than a Tupperware bowl of eggs being brought to a wedding. That guest might have done better just to have sent a card.
The type of person to HAVE a vegan wedding in the first place, is coincidentally the same type of person to chew you out if you dare to eat anything else in their presence. A good host will offer options that suit the widest subset of their guests' tastes, where possible. Nothing wrong with having a vegan option, but once you cross the Rubicon into turning your wedding into a political statement about the evils of factory farms, you're far, far beyond what is reasonable. Why not cause a scene and harass your guests about their choice of salad toppings. Why not?
OMG! If a person gets upset over something that stupid, can you imagine what she would be like to live with!
I don’t care how important being a vegan is to your SIL, her treating you this way over your food choices speaks volumes about her priorities. If you value veganism over decency and human life then you are worse than all the emissions that cow farms worldwide produce! Anaphylaxis is a matter of life and death and she’s worried about 2 eggs contaminating her display of her commitment to veganism. NTA! Your brother needs to eat a steak and tell her that until she learns to value family, marriage and human life he will keep eating animals! Gross!
you know, weddings in my country lasts for several hours (like 7-8) . at my own wedding I couldn't eat anything for the whole day, I was busy dancing, socialising, welcoming guests.... for me it's rude to bring your own food at any party. you don't have to eat, if you don't like the food. it's not like you are going to collapse for not eating a few hours. have a drink, you'll be fine!
NTA, I know for most of us knowing eggs are not part of a vegan menu is a no brainer, but that really isn't the case for everyone. I really really don't think this woman brought the food intending any offense. Actually I'm sure it never occurred to her that offense was even a possibility. I believe the fact that this was clearly a mistake should be taken into consideration by the bride. The bride sounds like a major snowflake to me!!!
I'm a pretty strict vegetarian and I think the bride way overreacted. If it were my wedding, I would have made sure my family members with allergies had food to eat. Even if it meant preparing the food myself and keeping it separate from the rest. The food would be vegetarian, of course, but it would also be safe.
I wouldn't call you an a**hole, but maybe a bit insensitive. If everyone else is eating vegan, you really shouldn't insult the host by bringing a food that's not allowed. Being vegan isn't just a food choice. It's a political and environmental statement. However, It was eggs and I doubt many people noticed. It's not like you brought a chef's salad! I think the bride over-reacted and was rude to make a deal out of it. Next time you'll know. Unfortunately, next time she'll be just as rude.
I would have brought meat. Or if the rules strictly say everyone would have to eat vegan food, just wouldn't go. I literally have meat craving when I lack B12, and I eat beans and other vegetables that have B12 daily, but apparently I can only get it from red meat. So yeah, I literally can't go vegetarian or vegan.
Half if my family and I are vegetarian and we ran into these dilemma all the time. Many times restaurants don't have a vegetarian option and we have to settle with side dishes or salads. On family gatherings it is kind of an issue for our other relatives and they always try to push meat meals on us. We opted for bringing our own food: mixed vegetables, impossible brand meat or morning star. Turns out they they start digging in our food too well knowing we brought it because we cannot eat what they have. On a resent barbecue we had to hurry and get our plates because they were eating our meat and brochets. I feel that if we are not trying to push our philosophy on them, in return they should respect ours.
I mean one she had food allergies two it was just some eggs! I mean to be completely honest being a religious vegan is just dumb. If you ever heard of Seventh-day Adventist they're basically a vegan cult now, them forcing vegan diet caused my grandmother to die. But what foods are considered vegan is also dumb even honey produced by bees is not vegan. And if you look at most vegans they look kind of sickly because you don't get all the nutrients you need in a plant based diet you get enough to live but you don't get the full range of all the nutrients and minerals and vitamins your body needs and especially not in the quantities not just a reasonable amount of "meat" in your diet can fix. And if you're vegan in America and you're demonizing eggs you know I would think that food going to waste and being thrown away would be a bigger environmental issue then somebody consuming it. Because guess what America throws away just as much as it eats. 1.62mil vegans won't stop the waste
If veganism is about being against animal cruelty, just tell the bri-tch that these eggs were from free-range chickens. No harm, no foul. (excuse the pun 🤣) Still, from a gastroenterological POV, who brings eggs to eat at a wedding? Anybody got any Beano?! All I can say is that this family tree is off to a wonderful start.
No, free range chickens are still not acceptable for vegans. They believe it is "exploitation" to own animals for human benefit.
Load More Replies... NTA. The focus of the day should’ve been about your brother and SIL making a lifetime commitment together in front of their family and friends. I get that she has chosen to be vegan and converted your brother but that does not mean everyone around her has to eat the way she chooses to. I am honestly a little surprised that there were more people bringing their own food to the wedding. The fact that you have dietary restrictions that could kill you and she sees a problem with that is beyond my understanding. OK so you had two eggs in your salad so what. If she didn’t want anything other than her vision then she should have took into consideration yours and others dietary needs and been more cautious about the catering she used. The fact that The day was focused on being vegan has me a little concerned if your brother married the right woman. Do not let your brothers words affect you either he’s just trying to please his new wife when he really needs to tell her to shut up
I can't believe how many people are sticking up for the sister. I'm not vegan, but I am atleast respectful enough to not bring animal products to a vegan's home/special event. The bride NEVER complained about this meal before that, but was simply hoping SIL could leave her visible eggs for *once*. Yet she's irrational? I LOVE eggs but you better not bring that stinky s**t to a day that's already super stressful. Let alone an event that centers around veganism. Literally all she had to do was not add visible eggs.
I would have brought steak. And chicken. And shrimp. Land, sea, and air.
Prejudice. Gross your so thin. Or in the changing room "you b***h". Being a biggot is usually because your an insecure wreck. I want to say why don't you wear something besides that winni the poo sweatshirt with the gravy stain and you may feel better. I've just been done being nice about the cruelty for a while now. I ALWAYS bring food. If not even if I've asked and been told oh absolutely you will be able to eat. Nope mabey a few tomatoes. It's not a choice for many people but a disease.
We just eat at home aside from two restaurants that I'm safe AND they aren't hateful. I'm beyond thin because I have malobsorbtion issues from being diagnosed so late in life and servers are absolutely horrible now days. I waited tables and was behind a bar before I had my own business and I absolutely 💯 understand why I had so many regulars wait hours for my section. I am kind and specific when I order I've even emailed ahead and they are oblivious. Sorry I don't want to eat alone after you fix it and the cooks have angrily thrown it together in a rush. I am mom grandma auntie and have many people I care for and cook for and eating out used to be so wonderful. It's not now. People take no pride in their jobs anymore and I tip 35% most of the time or more for the two places I can safely eat. We used to often. People also have issues with my diet because I'm thin and many women my age are not and let themselves go in other ways as well. I believe it's the last form of socially acceptab
Fck that, these so called "don't shame me for my beliefs and/or choices!" nâtžîs are the first ones to throw a fn fit and shame others for theirs. I would have said something right back, and also to the brother. Fck him, and fck her, for being a fn pos hypocrite. I'll bet she'd flip out if she wasn't accommodated to the fullest at somebody else's wedding, the fn hateful c**t.
This is my life in a nutshell. The last "event" was a tragic funeral we attended. I called our hotel before we left and was assured breakfast had several things I could eat. Wrong. Nothing. We attended the service and then straight to the celebration of life following which had a beautiful table of food setup. The food was literally in front of the entire room no signs. I excused myself to walk into the restaurant it was made and asked about ingredients. I was absolutely starving by this point so I ordered almost everything that was safe and side note not one of the items they served was anything I could eat. I was quiet and didn't say anything as it was a horrible event of a child lost too soon. My father in law apparently didn't see me return to the table and started going on and on about "the food nor being good enough for me". I explained I am a celiac and have three-dour days of full blown neuropathy when I injest gluten and dairy gives me full body hives. We just eat at home re
Yes, even in this day and age, there are those of us not as familiar with vegan food due to not having been around it. And while we know about main anti-vegan (meats), it took me a minute to get that eggs are off-limits because that's a next-level "from" meat.
I hate vegans/vegetarians that think that the world revolves around their personal views. My friend is a vegetarian I eat meat around her all the time. So do her family and other friends. She doesn't expect anyone not to. Besides, chickens lay eggs whether we eat them or not, might as well utilize it
Exactly. And on egg farms those eggs are unfertilized.
Load More Replies... As expected. The Guy is a push over too, I bet. She's gonna run the relationship, probably already is, which in turn is gonna make the guy miserable. She probably pushed the marriage thing on the guy. Then she's gonna wonder "why is he not being a man?" I'd say divorce in about twooo maybe 3 years. I had friends with women who acted just like this woman here. They're all happily single now. I'd NEVER let a woman, even if it's my wife snap at my immediate family like that over a damn meal. We JUST got married and you're tripping over something so trivial....nope, putting my foot all the way down. If she's acts like that then, she'll do it again to you, believe me.
where i work, almost every employee is a vegan, & they're some of the nicest people i know. diet has nothing to do with personality.
Load More Replies... This whole "vegan wedding" is a pile of BS. If you're going to invite people to your wedding, you should serve them whatever they are accustomed to, and not force your vegan habbits upon them, wedding or not. You invite friends to share your special day and not to subject them to your diet. Selfish and immature. Anyone trying to convert me to this, knowing I am a hard core carnivore, would be very ill advised.
NTA but insensitive and unthoughtful. She should have made her own meal vegan and should have realized that adding eggs would raise an eyebrow here and there. Her brother never said she should make her own meal vegan but still this should have been obvious somehow. But then again, this can happen if you allow a guest to bring their own food because of allergies and it's not like OP deliberately wanted to offend the vegans. So it's not like she's an a*****e. I do think the bride seriously overreacted. Maybe she should have focused on what a wedding is actually about, two people uniting in love and celebrating with friends and family, instead of what OP was eating. Nothing ever goes 100% perfect at a wedding. On my wedding day there was also something with food. Yet I can't even be angry about it because it was such a beautiful and fun day and when I recently looked back the video with my husband all I could think about was how amazing our wedding was.
What happened on my own wedding is that we're a mixed couple, he's Nigerian I'm Dutch, with mixed friends and family. After the ceremony there was a festive lunch at a wonderful lunchroom that works with people who have down syndrome and other disabilities. They catered a wonderful lunch. In advance it was agreed that for the picky eaters who don't like anything that isn't Nigerian and for Dutch guests who might want to try something different we could bring food from outside. And a friend who owns a Nigerian restaurant had made boxes with jollof rice. We had paid well for that. Jollof is supposed to be spicy. Made with blended onion, tomato and a good amount of pepper. She had just used food coloring. The taste was bland. Not a single pepper could be traced. It didn't even taste like jollof so the picky eaters who relied on the Nigerian kitchen were still not satisfied. But it didn't matter. It was still our day. And we totally enjoyed!
Load More Replies... Okay but the one YTA comment comparing an egg to a steak is ridiculous.
NTA. Idiotic Vegans prohibit eggs based on their misconception that there is an undeveloped fetus inside. This is factually false. The vast majority of eggs are NOT fertilized and contain no fetus. Roosters are almost never put in contact with laying hens in major farms as it disrupts output. There is no difference between a woman’s monthly ovary and an egg. It’s a natural painless cycle and there is no fetus until fertilized. I am also fed up of the nonsense of vegans thinking they help animals in any way when the amount of one used to cater to them is worse for animals then a slaughterhouse. Animals ARE killed to allow those crops to grow. Land is taken from them and they end up homeless and malnourished because of excessive land use. Grow up.
That is not why vegans do not consume eggs. They refrain from eggs because of the cruelty that occurs on egg farms...i.e. male chicks ground up alive shortly after birth, battery cages, de-beaking, forced-molting, etc. At least be factual if you are going to call others idiotic.
Load More Replies... Mescal comes to mind. Also mead. Try an old fashioned shaken with a raw egg white. It's good. Hot buttered rum. Peppermint patty. Anything from the easter egg series (grasshopper). Irish cream. Mudslides. Actually most liquors are based on grain, not fruit, but i got what you meant.
Load More Replies... Yes n no. You coukd have left the eggs off n had it fully vegan knowing the theme BUT you werent told you HAD to so its on your bro n the wifey for not specifying this from the start
All a bunch of whiners. Should have worn a leather outfit, ate rare veal with rack of lamb for dessert.
YTA but the bride was MORE TA. It was known to be a vegan event so it was insensitive to bring animal products. But the bride should have made an accommodation to make all of her guests comfortable by providing an allergy friendly meal or simply by not losing her cool over an egg. No one ruined your wedding honey.
I'm not sure how else they could have accommodated her allergies. She didn't feel comfortable getting an allergy-friendly meal from their caterer so she asked to bring something she made, and they said yes. I probably would have asked her if there was a vegan restaurant or caterer that she felt safe with and ordered her something from there, but maybe with her allergies there really isn't anyone. I'm not vegan, don't really get why you'd want to be, but I wouldn't show up at an event I was invited (not forced) to wearing leather or eating something blatantly animal. That's just rude. The bride should have handled it better but if veganism is more an ethical rather than dietary issue, I can understand why she'd be upset. I'd expect the same if I took alcohol to a dry wedding.
Load More Replies... So many vegans are obnoxious. Not the ones who have to be vegan for health issues. Not the ones who choose to be vegan and live and let live. I'm talking about the vegan cultists and try to ram it down your throat and shame you.
No one is forced to attend a vegan event. I'd likely take a pass. I certainly wouldn't expect to eat non-vegan food if I did accept because I'm not a vegan. Just say no thanks and stay home eating a philly.
Load More Replies... No.. you are all wrong, the guest IS the AH. I am not vegan and never ever will be, but I would never bring non-vegan food to a wedding when it specifically states that it is vegan only. She could have survived one f*****g meal with out a damn egg. What a a*****e. Try and sweeten it as much as you like... but you suck lady. One god damn meal ... seriously.
Bringing hard-boiled eggs to ANY wedding is inappropriate. They stink, and even if the bride couldn't see them, she would've SMELT them. Plus, there's no telling whether the other guests could've been offended by the eggs, either, as they were just too tactful to say anything. Plus, in addition to being vegan, there's no telling if the bride had sensory issues or not.
That's like bringing Mein Kampf to a Jewish wedding. Some people have no self-awareness. Like, that's everything they're against. I'm not vegan, but I used to be. (I'm vegetarian now.) I can understand the bride and I've had similar experiences as a vegan, like when my family wanted to have a BBQ ON MY BIRTHDAY (as part of a 2-in-1 celebration kind of thing). At the same time, I think that the bride was being dramatic. I'm surprised that so many people are defending OP. There is also one argument that annoys me a lot when people say, which I've seen in these comments. No, a vegan requesting people eat only vegan IS NOT THE SAME AS a meat eater requesting people eat only meat. Being a vegan is about morals and ethics. Eating meat is about you liking the way it tastes. It is NOT THE SAME. There IS NO moral philosophy behind eating meat. You can go without eating meat for ONE MEAL, you probably do all the time, and if you can't then you have a problem (and your heart probably does too).
No, not the same. Also, no, not a moral philosophy. I'm sure there are plenty of vegans who just think chickpeas are healthy and don't want hardened arteries, who like rice and beans because they're cheap and easy and delicious, or who, for whatever reason just don't like greasy food (and have never tried artichokes in butter, because yum). You want a moral philosophy, write it down and define it. Maybe make some pamphlets. Otherwise live with the catch-all basket term. Antivore? Against people who eat for pleasure?
Load More Replies... Yes, she is TA. If the local "ladies business" catered then it is professional. She should have talked to the caterer for reassurance.
Of course you left out all the comments that said OP is the a*****e. Which is so obvious. Is it that hard to leave the eggs out?
It could be a wild conspiracy to hide those comments... Or, it might be that your opinion is just less popular.
Load More Replies... Vegans are miserable bc they're jealous that we get to eat bone in ribeyes with a lobster tail......oh, and cheesecake. But they call their food the stuff they don't want to eat and add "vegan" to the front of it. Isn't the point of being vegan to get away from anything animal? So why call it vegan chicken, vegan beef, vegan bacon, and so on....go make up your own food names like us meat eaters did. Oh, and she's definitely gonna cheat. Unless she's fat, fat women are loyal. Quick fact....TRUE male honesty becomes misogyny.
ESH if it was possible for you to replace the eggs with an allergy -friendly protein, like chickpeas or beans. You were a guest at her wedding, so you should respect the rules of her wedding. But she was beyond rude for staring at your food and complaining about it. I admire the very hard ethical standard vegans uphold, but they are not helping their cause (and, by extension, animals) when they act like assholes and use divisive terms like "animal secretions."
As expected another vegan another pretentious jerk. Pretty sure they’ll get divorced
I would have brought a steak and told bridezilla to go eat a d**k. Vegan snowflakes who feel they have a right to tell other people what they can eat and where because of some dumbass sense of morality makes me sick
Do you cater for cannibals, those who wish to eat dogs or cats? Vegans see all animals as equal, not just the cute pets. If meat eaters are such free thinkers they would provide human meat, dog meat - whatever else might be requested. Why don't they serve horse meat at showjumping events? There's a huge denial with meat eaters that they accept all diets when that's incredibly rare
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