Mom-Of-Six Explains Why “Men Cause 100% Of Unplanned Pregnancies” And Many Agree
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An American mother of six has decided to share her opinion on a sensitive subject, and she’s not willing to compromise. Author Gabrielle Stanley Blair, 44, from Oakland, California, turned to Twitter to argue that unplanned pregnancy is always the man’s fault, no matter what the circumstances and her thread went viral.
“I’ve been working out the thoughts on unprotected sex and birth control I presented in the article over the last year,” Gabrielle told Bored Panda. “I actually wrote the thread about three months ago, and then hesitated to make it public — Twitter can be a harsh place, and I worried my family would be attacked.” Watching the Kavanaugh hearings, however, got her to hit publish.
Also, Blair is a Mormon, and she thinks that when it comes to abortion, her religious beliefs are on her side, too. “The Mormon church has guidelines that include abortion as an option for rape, the health of the mother, etc., and those exceptions can’t happen if abortion clinics are illegal,” she added. “My interpretation of the Mormon church’s take is that it is pro-legal abortion and contraception. Other church members may interpret things in favor of anti-abortion.
Generating nearly 185,000 likes and over 72,000 retweets, Gabrielle’s tweet reignited the ever-lasting debate and if you want to join it, tell us your thoughts in the comments.
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Author Gabrielle Blair from California turned to Twitter to argue that unplanned pregnancies are always the man’s fault
And her unapologetic thread has generated nearly 185,000 likes and over 72,000 retweets
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me and my wife have 2 kids, they were planned, they are beautiful, but the births were not great. but all is ok now. thankfully. now we don't want any more kids, so instead of her having to go through any more trauma (operations etc) I decided I couldn't let her go through anything as she'd been through enough, so I had 'the snip'. Best thing ever for us, no worries, no stress, just good ol' fashioned fun! It's not the answer for everyone, but it worked for us.
Stellermatt, your wife and your children are enjoying a husband/father who actually does what the stereotype of a husband/father does: you shoulder responsibility. You are not alone, but I would be enormously pleased to see more of your kind to come forward and openly talk about their life choices on topics such as this one, or discussions between men about how thoroughly unacceptable it is to beat your wife/partner/girlfriend, etc. Other men and boys need good and real role models. Thank you for sharing.
it's ridiculous how little this sort of thing is talked about. I wasn't pressured into it, it was 100% what I wanted to do and felt would be the best thing to do. When I discussed it with my Doctor he shook my hand and spoke of his respect for my choice. My wife was so grateful and even my mother spoke of her pride. It's just a shame the anesthetic didn't work and I had to have 3 injections and ended up feeling most of the op... still, onwards and upwards!
Good on you. You are a kind and considerate husband
stellermatt, you are a diamond. There should be more men like you
The snip?
The Snip means Vasectomy.
I don't even know what to say. That whole post just explained everything. When a teenage girl gets pregnant, everybody blames her. But nobody bats an eye at the guy who got her pregnant.
Is it just me or are people wondering what role a woman apparently has in a sexual relationship as understood by Ms Blair? It seems to me that her approach removes agency from women as participating equal partners in sexual encounters and decisions.
Dian, 99% of this post is about consensual encounters, making the woman an equal partner in the decision. Ideally, every couple would have a responsible conversation about everything involved before anyone got started in any sexual act, but we all know that doesn't happen. The post is about challenging the cultural assumptions that the woman is almost solely responsible for making sure she doesn't get pregnant. I don't agree with absolutely everything she says, but it was a good opportunity for me to really assess why I was disagreeing. I found an astounding amount of what I was thinking was culturally ingrained in my head and didn't hold up to logic. Clearly, shifting responsibility 100% to the man isn't the answer either, but she has some good arguments for it. Just chalk it up to a bit of hyperbole.
Did you read the entire post? A mans orgasm is what creates a child. She is stating that a mans ejaculation should be done in a way that does not put his sexual partner at risk. Where are you confused?
Most women are on some form of birth control, why should the other side of the couple not be responsible for their part in the act. Like why is it a women’s responsibility to make sure the other adult in the relationship acts responsibly? Especially where coercion and trickery can be used.
It's as if instead of telling a shooter to stop shooting, everyone who wants to go outdoors has to wear armour [that could also make you sick]. Just stop shooting FFS.
She already explained that women can use birth control if they have access to it, but if a woman is raped or sexually abused and she wasn't expecting to have forced sex, she may not have used a birth control method. Were you reading selectively?
It's just you. This is about the responsibility of the man. Obviously the woman is also responsible as she is the one carrying the child.
there are a lot of times when women are not really participating equal partners in sexual encounters or decisions.
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Exactly! She's totally blaming everything on men so women don't have to take responsibility for their own actions.
Reasonable families will support the girl and reasonable socities blame the boy should he just wander off. This whole notion of "got her pregnant" is ridiculous, for this passivity transport the image of a helpless, externally controlled women. Two teenagers with consent sharing a bed also share the reponsibility. Rather blame prude parents who failed by raising their children without teaching them about safe sex.
I agree with you. I know a few people who got pregnant as teenagers who honestly had no idea what they were doing, and what they were risking, before it was too late. Teenage kids will get horny, and will find out about sex. The best we can do for them is properly explain why is it that they might want to wait a bit and teach them to it right when they do, instead of going around shouting abstinence and expecting teenagers of all people to not do something just because you said they shouldn't.
While that is true, the girl shouldn't have to go through the pregnancy in the first place. Her consent to sex doesn't equal her consent to pregnancy, and while it is a dick move, the father can leave and start anew without facing physical or mental repercussions. Education is necessary, yes, but as said in the article, instating a quick, reversible procedure would simply cut out all these unwanted pregnancies. And after they grow older and truly understand the outcomes of what sex with ejaculation are, they can be held responsible to the damage it can cause.
We don’t live in a reasonable society. Half the population is men.
If reflected, balanced, argumentative posts do not get reflected, balanced, argumentative replies but merely downvotes, you know the army of idiologists has arrived. They believe only what they want to believe, and whoever argues against a single idea of them is an enemy. Sad. And pitiable.
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Wow, from - 10 downvotes up. Obviously this topic is slightly controversial.
And, unfortunately, a teenage girl who gets pregnant may have had unwanted, non-consensual sex (ie: rape).
I totally agree, some men think that they are 'the man' by impregnating girls and women simply because they think they can do whatever they like and not have to deal with the consequences. The girl or women on the other hand could be the in serious danger and would be humiliated if it was in high school. She wouldn't be able to get away as easily as the 'boyfriend' would as he can just simply leave school if he liked. It doesn't help that in USA that 22 men used religion to make a law on what women did with their bodies. This stuff makes my blood boil.😤😠
It makes you want to frown upon society for feeling that way. A woman gets pregnant is a man's fault 100% of the time.
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Your a fucking idiot.
They are both at fault. If you, as a man or woman, do not want to have a kid then protect yourself by using a condom, or making him use a condom, or using an IUD etc etc etc etc.
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As someone who knows a teenage dad I can tell you you're wrong. The boys always get a bollocking because they're seen as ruining the girls life. So please dispense with the man hate.
Always? And yes, teenage boys may get in trouble, but what about grown men?
Oh,how awful for the boys getting a bollocking...
I never said I hated men. Just that women get hell of a lot more blame than men.
So your one teenage dad is a complete representation of the entire teenage population? You can't tell us squat with that sort of data. Oh and btw it's not man hate, its finally getting people as a whole to understand the real way to curb abortions. I have always hated when a man thinks he has a say over what I do with my body. Give me a break!
"The boys always get a bollocking...." Um, no. No they don't. Just because you anecdotally know of one boy who got reprimanded, that doesn't mean all or even the majority of boys are treated similarly. Also, you know what hate is? All the blame and ruination women and girls have been subjected to, up until the last 30-40 years, for unwanted pregnancies, while those who fathered those unwanted pregnancies walked around pretty well consequence-free. That hardly compares to your one anecdotal dude getting a talking to.
Why shouldn't they get in trouble? Did the girls get pregnant when they were alone in the room? The guys CHOSE to risk that pregnancy, and they are 100% responsible for the children they CHOSE to make. This is not rocket science. They should be paying for their own children.
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yeah, because she should never be bothered with birth control.
Constructive comments aid the dialogue.
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She explained NOTHING. She thinks we risk women for momentary pleasure. Sshe couldn't be more wrong! We don't want condom because in condom we don't feel anything and we get soft. If women didn't ONLY want natural erections from men, then men could use viagra and then men would be happy to use condoms.
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She explained NOTHING. She thinks we risk women for momentary pleasure. She couldn't be more wrong! We don't want condom because in condom we don't feel anything and most of the time we never get hard enough to even stay inside. AND WOMEN BLAMES US FOR THAT. If women didn't ONLY want natural erections from men, then men could use viagra and then men would be happy to use condoms.
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No one "got her pregnant". She chose to get pregnant. It's impossible for her to get pregnant if she didn't choose to. (Except in rape cases, of course!)
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Stfu. No one cares. It takes 2 to get pregnant. And the post was that men are at fault not that they aren’t looked at. Your just at fault of you have a baby that’s not planned. Stop blaming men for everything and get your own shit women.
you didn't understand it, did you?
I stopped reading at "Men can't get women pregnant without an orgasm". I don't know where that lady took biologi lessons, but I was taught (and then witnessed it) that before orgasms men can produce droplets of substance that might contain spermatozoids. That also breaks apart the theory of pull-outs being effective. Heck, not even using pills & condoms is 100% sure. The only way NOT to get pregnant is not to have sex. Period. Oh two things more: woman can say NO (I refer to normal situations, not rape) and that thread was not a twitter one. Wall of text on twitter... Meh.
Also, she was not accurate in her statement that women can get pregnant only about 2 days a month. A woman can realistically get pregnant about 6 days a month. Sperm can live approximately 48-72 hours after ejaculation inside a woman's body, which means that 2 - 3 days before and 2 - 3 days after ovulation, there is a possibility of pregnancy. And to validate Alusair's post, the pre-ejaculate does have some sperm in it. One of the biological processes they teach us in medical school, first year.
None of which invalidates her point: men are irresponsible about sex because they don't have to carry the consequences!
Alusair and Cheri preempted my own thoughts. Men are potentially able to impregnate women soon after they achieve an erection, because penises secrete lubricating fluid that is pretty much the same as semen, with perhaps a little less sperm. And they secrete this throughout sexual activity, just as most aroused women secrete lubricating fluids. And yes, the window for potentially getting pregnant is up to 5-6 days per cycle.
The egg only lives 12-48 hours. So while sperm may hang around for most of a week, the egg is in and out in a day (on average)
To clarify: 1) An egg lives an average of 24 hours. Some studies say up to 48 hours. 2) Sometimes women can release a 2nd egg. This is usually within 24 hours of the 1st. Hence, unidentical twins. Now, we have up to 3 days after the 1st ovulation. (Give the 2nd egg up to 48 hours of life.) 4) Sperm can live up to 5 days, but the average is ~3 days. The life of both egg and sperm are longer depending on the healthiness of both individuals. 5) The most fertile days for pregnancy are 2 days before and the day of ovulation. ***The window for coitus to cause pregnancy can be up to 5 to 8 days due to up to 5 days for sperm viability after coitus and possible release of a 2nd egg having up to 48 hours. That's 5 days for sperm before ovulation, day of 1st ovulation, and 2 days after if 2nd ovulation occurs and egg lives for 48 hours.
none of this invalidates the author's point. number of days, and the difference between ejaculate vs. pre-ejaculate not withstanding, arousal is necessary in the human male for intromission, but arousal is not necessary in the human female. they teach you that in real life, in addition to medical (and veterinary, and nursing)school.
Correct! But she does have a point about a lot of the other stuff.
Dude, by highlighting that women can get pregnant by pre cum and not even ejaculating just furthers her point that men should be more responsible with their dicks, not lessens it. Knowledgable but not intelligent.
Has there ever been a confirmed pregnancy from pre-seminal fluid, though? I keep hearing that it's possible, but it's never been verified as having happened.
Thank you for saving me having to look these things up. I had thought the 2 day quoted sounded wrong, and I knew about the pre-ejaculate, of course. Alusair had some good points also. There is almost nothing in life, good or bad, that is 100 percent.
Dr. Cheri Hayes, You're trying to nit pick and be scientific about it. Do you have nothing more to add? You're a doctor and really believe that women can get pregnant 6 days a month? If you know anything about human biology, an egg does not live 6 days so it would not be possible for her to get pregnant for 6 days. Sperm floating around in her uterus can only cause a pregnancy in the presence of an egg which is present only 1-2 days per month. And we all know the odds are exponentially greater with a full ejaculation into the vaginae instead of a few drops of sperm on the labia. Go back and pull out your science books.
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Cheri, You're a doctor, you should know better than the shit your spewing. There is no way a woman could get pregnant 2 or 3 days AFTER ovulation. An egg is only viable for up to 24 hours, usually 12. If sperm didn't fertilize the egg by then, it will not happen. And sperm living in a woman that long is under peak conditions and usually wayyyyy less for the bit that does stay up there. And to further point out your BS in validating Alusairs claim, precum contains NO sperm or dead sperm usually left over from the last ejaculate. Finding sperm in precum is super rare. Unless you ladies are throwing dudes a bone by calling premature ejaculation precum, you're wrong.
Re: Alusair's: "Woman can say NO"... With respect, many women who say NO in "normal situations" end up with a penis in their body anyway. It happens even when (and often as) a woman says NO. That's how "normal" becomes *rape*.
Well, if it turns into rape that easily it wasn't a normal situation to begin with.
Sure :D me and my partner are now expecting baby, after 5 years of relationship and sex without any protection, we jist used method of "pulling out on time" and to be honest I was quite worried that we cannot have kids. But my pregnancy came so quickly after we decided we want baby, that I'm even more surprised I wasn't got pregnant much earlier :D
she said pulling out is 96% of course there's always still a risk but I do feel men need to take more responsibility with their semen.......she has good and valid points......
Women can have sex all they want and avoid pregnancy, as long as they don't have sex with men, especially men who don't practice safe sex.
The core of the argument remains the same though.
actually, the core argument is pretty weak to begin with. While I will agree men do need to be held responsible and accountable for having sex, this post is just ridiculous. First off, excluding cases of rape (or sexual assault through condom removal, etc) the fact that the woman was consenting to acts which may lead to pregnancy implies at least some consent to the consequences involved. Secondly, sometimes things do happen, like the condom breaking. Thirdly, sometimes, pregnancy wasn't even considered by either party as a possible consequence. Fourth, I'm not even sure what the OP means by 'unwanted'. Does she men people (like my brother) that weren't trying but still having unprotected sex, and, whatever happens will (surprise! it did.)? or does she mean people who are more like 'absolutely no children', like my girlfriend and me? Finally, what about women who lie about being on contraceptives? is the guy still at fault, even if he would have otherwise used protection?
Finally a great comment. Most people do not understand that mixing morals and facts never works well, and if you do not get your facts straight, you will be wrong even if right on the morals. On the other hand, it is nice that people like this women reveal their true intention by presenting fake facts or showing their lack of education.
She said withdrawal is 96% effective, not 100%
Dian Ella... Wrong wrong wrong. Everything you said is wrong, except the fact that men secrete precum.
Exactly...then they should wear a condom. Period.
I stopped reading at "I'm a mormon"...
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Yes, I noticed her lack of sex ed knowledge on that too, but agree with the rest
You were fooled in school.... pulling out won’t get you pregnant, biologically not possible. The reason why people get pregnant when using the pull out method is because not all men can control their orgasm and ejaculate before pulling out. Google it.
So in real world application, what is the difference whether the pregnancy happens because the man fails at practicing a "perfect" pull out? She is just as pregnant. It still makes using pulling out an unreliable method.
I think it could have to do with her being a Mormon? They're not always keen on accuracy and I've definitely seen them defend the "women aren't even fertile most of the time, so it doesn't matter when you have sex outside of these few days" idea before.
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Part of the problem ☝🏾
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Alusair it is pleasure to readed smart woman comment,Thank you.
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That's exactly where i stopped reading as well! Also men can get orgasm without ejaculating. Also woman can get pregnant on about 5 days on month. Surely as well, if women can get pregnant only on those days, she could not have sex at all on those days? 2 days on her logic, or 7 just to be sure. Any of the contraception methods are 100% sure and when you decide to have sex, you should admit that there is slight chance to get pregnant.
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So you just stopped reading the article?
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I stop reading at "..and a Mormon" . I knew this would be a 1-sided rant. Before wading though her pile of bullshit, i just have one counterpoint to her argument that defeats it completely: Men Cause 100% Of WANTED Pregnancies. Now that SOUNDS sexist. Just as true. The Mormon feminist by inference, also decided that men are also 100% responsible for all the planned pregnancies out there, that VASTLY outnumber the unplanned ones. Why thank you for that, I'll scratch that one was a win for the patriarchy
When you didn't even read the article, I think you should sit down and shut up.
Well, there is a simple solution... just don't be with a man who refuses to put on condom, because he "hates the feeling". He does not respect you, he puts you in danger and himself first, simple as that. That would just end this debate. I can't say that men are 100% guilty of unwanted pregnancies as long as there are so many many (many) women who would just tolerate men who find condoms "inconvenient". And it's not just pregnancy, it's disease protection too. Just, respect yourself and when such men are left alone for too long they will start to get it (hopefully). Also they are not in majority, you will find someone else.
Just like to point out that the posts said some men do 'stealthing'. By the time the woman realises that he isnt wearing a condom anymore, it was too late.
Yes, and that is in fact rape.
So... You're still putting the blame on the woman/girl for 100% and nothing on the man? Did you miss the part about how man sometimes lie about putting it on or take it off during seks without her consent?
And that's akin to rape which has nothing to do with consensual sex.
And sometimes women lie about being on birth control. It goes both ways.
Many women dont have a choice, especially a choice to walk away. Not everyone is born in a modern sociaty. And again, this is blaming women for poor choice of men and getting pregnant?
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Well, if u have sex with a man who is not willling to wear a condom I think its your fault aswell. You can just reject. And if he's the type who get off the condom during sex then why are you even have a relationship with him? Woman make poor choices on selecting man and then they blame them for that. Its like when you buy a car and then you get mad cuz its not as good as you think.
Way to bash the woman. Congrats on that.
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She explained NOTHING. She thinks we risk women for momentary pleasure. She couldn't be more wrong! We don't want condom because in condom we don't feel anything and most of the time we never get hard enough to even stay inside. AND WOMEN BLAMES US FOR THAT. If women didn't ONLY want natural erections from men, then men could use viagra and then men would be happy to use condoms.
I think you should read up on the side effects of women's birth control (pain, headaches and migraine, nausea, vomiting, bleeding, scarring, weight gain, depression, anxiety, fatigue, ovarian cysts, high blood pressure, cancer) and compare them to your sad little story of decreased pleasure in your peen. Put a drop of lube inside the condom and you'll be fine.
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"He does not respect you, he puts you in danger and himself first, simple as that". Right. He doesn't get please out of wearing condoms so he must not respect you. He asks for your consent so he must not respect you. He's putting himself in exactly as much danger as he's putting the woman in, so he must not respect you. *sigh*
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"Just, respect yourself and when such men are left alone for too long they will start to get it (hopefully)." I don't think they will start getting. Probably they would go more on hookers, rape more and craving for sex sooo hard that when they finally get it they would probably get the condom off cuz they change in full animal mode :))) I know the feeling.
Rape isn't about getting off. Rape is about violence. Lonely? Become master of your domain and leave women out of it. If NO ONE will have sex with you, YOU are the problem.
Look. She is trying to point out the inanity that is the agenda of certain men in society that believe women should not have easy access to birth control by demonstrating men's responsibility. Let's remember too that she is American, writing about the situation there, and she is the mother of 6 who clearly loves her husband but is tired of women being the focus on birth control when clearly, it should be men's concern too.
Finally, someone who gets it.
IKR?!?!?!?!
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Or maybe neither of you got it. You both seem like idiots.
Is she a dog, or a raccoon? Come on, if you have sex you need to work these things out as human beings.....TOGETHER....as human beings! If you cannot trust a sexual partner, GO HOME!! NOW!!!!
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Even more should she not fall for the fallacy of generalising and even blaming those who are not to be blamed. And yes, in her posts she has so much hatred that it includes her own husband and, should any of them be boys, her own children. Because she is referring to _all_ man, no exceptions intended.
There are a few flaws in her argument. For one birth control is not 100% effective, not even the pill and for another the fertile window for women is longer than 2 days, since sperm can live up to 5 days in the vagina. I do think she is on point that more needs to be done to hold men responsible for unplanned pregnancies.
While sperm lives up to 5 days in the fallopian tubes (not the vagina) the egg is only goof for up to 48 hours.
C you're joking right? You don't think in the history of pregnancy, men EVER get a say in abortion? I know plenty of men who have been included in the conversation. In fact, since a large majority of abortions happen with MARRIED WOMEN, I'm 100% certain that the guy gets a say frequently. A person who doesn't hate women would never think that ALL women make that decision on their own 100% of the time. And please stop trying to defend men and act like WE'RE victims in society simply because men are being called out for their bullshit these days. None of us need you to white knight for us, and any man worth anything won't like a women who hates other women. Remember, men control everything in this country, including the government. I'm pretty sure we're not victims because we were born with dicks.
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More needs to be done? Ask the court system about that. Keeping or aborting is, by a matter of biology, up to her and her alone, yet either decision is something that greatly affects the life of the man. Please be specific and tell me what more needs to be done since he's financially responsible if she keeps it, and he can't do anything about it if she decides to not keep it.
Give me a break. Bored Panda should stick to funny pictures or amazing photographs. This rant is beyond ridiculous. I am married and father of two. I had a vasectomy a month after my second child was born so that my wife would not have to be on birth control for the next twenty five years. Responsibility in an individual acts first. Still women can say no to a man, women can choose their partner and sexual activities as you say to remain celibate during those 24 annual days you mentioned. Women have a right to choose correct, then make the right choices. If my teenage daughter gets pregnant it won't be simply because a boy could not keep it in his pant (I would make sure he paid for his share of poor decisions) but it would ultimately be because she gave into her own sexual impulses and willingly participant. Every one is responsible for taking responsibilities for heir actions
You did the right thing. You shouldered responsibility. Great. You wrote about it here, and thus became a sound role model for boys and men reading this. Well done! - - - There is no need for you to become defensive, you have already made sure you will not cause any unwanted pregnancies. You are in fact showing the very same commendable male behaviour she is hoping for. - - - But she is still right on target. No woman gets pregnant without male sperm, and since you seem like a thoroughly decent guy your own decency is probably what gets in your way to understanding how way too many men treat women.
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Why so defensive?
How can you be so certain that your teenage daughter could not get pregnant without her own sexual impulses and willing participation? What if she will be raped or the boy will remove the condom without her permission?
No one is speaking of rape. Of course hat would be outside her choices. Don't be so dramatic. Stick to the context of the post.
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Why? Because she used words that are too big for you? How about YOU abstain? How about YOU have surgery?
awwwww....your Ad Hom surrender is accepted.................again
Good lord I stopped half ways and scrolled and thought who da fuck has the time to read this shit from a Mormon no less who thinks god is a magician from outer space? Eh I'll stick to my life's work in science and say you know how pregnancy work just look after yourself. So much of what she wrote is total nonsense but I don't have the energy to even start. The stuff she said about men pill is not strictly true. Several men on the medical trial committed suicide which shuts down any trial not just things for men. But what do I know I only work in pharmaceuticals and spent 9 years studying it?! Dip shit!
Mormons don't believe that God is a magician from outer space; that's Scientology. And based on what I read, she isn't broaching the subject from a Mormon perspective, but rather sharing an extreme viewpoint as a way to draw attention to the fact that reproductive laws are geared toward the systematic principles of policing and controlling women, their bodies, and their right to make choices for themselves. Most Mormons (or any religion, really) would agree with reversing Roe-v-Wade, restricting birth control, etc; I think her mentioning that she's a Mormon is more for effect; basically stating "yea I'm Mormon but even *I* am more socially liberal than these other a-holes trying to take away our reproductive rights." While I agree that a lot of the "facts" she uses are nonsense, I get the overall point she's trying to make. Too bad some people are too short sighted to see past her religion and resort to name calling instead.
A fucking embarrassment was the last thing I was trying to say and before that guys cum in condoms, condoms worn for their sexual partner, it's not a dudes fault "Karen" said oh it's ok, bare back is sweet I'll get you some sweets at the booty store chad x x :-)
I feel like you REALLY honed in on the Mormon thing, maybe you're right maybe it is Scientology I wouldn't know because neither of those makey up beliefs exist in Ireland. If you can't recognise this woman is a total lunatic and a moron I'm worried for you. She's not advocating for women's rights, she's saying women can do what they want and men are responsible for the outcome. She fails to acknowledge the part where a woman is told "I don't have a condom" and she says "that's ok we'll go without". The woman who posted this is a totally retarded human, who I'm glad exists in the US with the other total butters and nowhere near beautiful smarT well developed Europe. Op wasn't talking about reproductive rights op was taking about how men are the problem and they ejaculate in women?! Erm....she likes it that's why he's coming in her. Op is aaaducking embarrassment for American women if you ask me!
Yip, the contraceptive study is always misrepresented. What actually happened, is the study was carried out at many different clinics. They find the rate of side effects at some clinics were substantially higher than the side effects at other clinics. That is a clear indication that there is something wrong in the way the clinics are running the study - and they can't be sure if the low rate of side effects is the genuine situation, or the high rate. So the study was cancelled. Continuing would have been a waste of time anyway as the results would be inconclusive. Presumably they are analysing the results, and depending on what they find, they may run another study.
Josie, you're my hero ! :D
Except that condoms sometimes break. Also a woman can refuse to have sex without a condom. Both partners are equally responsible for any conception that occurs during consensual sex without birth control sabotage.
Women should not ever have to be in a position where they ask their partner to put a condom on and she has to insist or "refuse to have sex" because her partner refuses to wear on. The fact that women have to insist or refuse is what's wrong. The fact that another woman thinks that women should have to insist is what's wrong.
Plenty of women prefer to have sex without condoms. It is not just men who don't like the feeling. Women and men are equally capable of making irresponsible sexual decisions.
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I agree that all men should be respectful of women but we don't live in a fantasy world where everyone is honest and respectful. Don't blame honest men for dishonest men's actions, and don't blame women who stand up for themselves for actions of women who do not. The Mormon women who made this Twitter rant falls into the category of women who don't stand up for themselves because their religion teaches them to obey their man.
For all those insisting the Male Pill was "worse", etc.? Use of the female pill can lead to *CANCER* risks. I'd say that's a pretty bad side effect (and infertility from cancer treatment, btw, is a real thing)... For thsoe thinking "unless a woman was raped"... Um, I'm a "pill baby". My parents thought I wasn't going to happen. I did anyway! (And then my mom said, "condom or vasectomy" and my dad actually went vasectomy lest he have to use a *gasp* condom). TMI? How many *MEN* die in childbirth or of pregnancy-related complications? How many MEN lose jobs b/c they got a woman pregnant and bosses decided it just wasn't worth that family-leave impaired-employee thing? Oh, and for the record? Women are much more likely to acquire an STD from a male than other way around after *one* sexual encounter. Look it up. BTW, it only takes ONE person to make a baby --- once the sperm is in, the man's *done*. The woman? Has to risk permanent damage to her own health to gestate a fetus to term.
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Well you didn't go to med school. I DID. Or you would know that the female pill does NOT cause Cancer ever those that are a risk for it. Do your research before you comment something stupid again.
Sorry, I went to med school, darlin', and guess what? It increases cancer RISKS for BREAST and CERVICAL cancer. Do YOUR research. Some studies show varying strength of links, but they're there.
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That's actually a lie. The birth control pill has been around for 60 years. If it "caused cancer", women would have been dropping like flies for the past six decades. That is not happening. There is ZERO science to support it.
But the birth control pill does cause thrombosis, and I'm speaking from own experience here. When I went to the doctor for a prescription I was not informed about this, and I think not a lot of women are, while it can be deadly and in my case it almost was. This is a known fact, and the latest generations of pills are waaaay more dangerous than older ones.
Wow... I have not read such a culmination of generalising hatred in a while. This woman disqualifies herself by speaking of "all" man, besides having a fundamentally crooked understanding of biology, law, and ethics, to name just a few. Moreover, what she proposes applies only to the US. Did we not just have this series on argumentative fallacies? She gives examples for nost of them. However, the most important thing is: I comr here to read nice stories, to enjoy art, and to see puppies. Who else?
Then limit yourself to those, and eschew intelligent conversation.
A huge portion of women dislike condoms? What? Do you have any sources for that claim? I am a woman and I love condoms. They make sex feel a lot more pleasurable. Do you have problems with lubrication or something?
My dad is an HIV doc. He has mentioned in talks that many women don't like condoms. It isn't just a man thing.
Huh? When did I say this? I have no empirical evidence for either like or dislike.
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"Hatred"? Where did that come from? You think women get pregnant when we're alone in the room? ...////... Every time YOU CHOOSE to have sex, YOU CHOOSE to risk a pregnancy. GTF over yourself and realize that any kids you have were YOUR CHOICE.
Why would I? Did I write anything about my opinion on abortion, or did I say I would not condemn men who are careless? However, I am rather sure that my wife would think I am crazy if I – like this women – would claim that I am 100% responsible for the fact that we procreated. This is not how, well at least functioning, relationships work.
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Yes, hatred................................your hatred of rationality and civility
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Truth hurts.
Just because words are hard, or words hurt, they are not true. She is trying to mix a debate about morals with facts, but she does not get the facts straight. In the core, her "essay" is not about pro/contra aboration but it is a testimonial of hatred of men. How can you say "truth" if her generalization is already disproven by the comment made by stellermatt? If anyone writes "All coloured people are criminals" it is normal for almost everyyone to object, if a women writes "all men are rapists" (or: all women are merely "impregnated" without their contribution to this) a surprising number of people do not object. Generalisations only work if they have a factual base, and a singly counter example is enough to disallow a "all" or "every" statement without being unjust!
*Disclaimer: read this comment until the end* There's a lot of trully good men out there. Men who actually empathize enough to understand the female mind (because we're all humans), even our bodies (ex.: gynecologists). Men who are aware of what they can do/cause, and who will therefore take ALL the precautions, and who are ready, just in case, to take full responsibility if something goes wrong. I'm almost sure those men will agree with this woman's statement and that all those irresponsible assholes should be lectured (or even punished, as I actually heard from men). Edit: okay, maybe not with this woman's statement, but definitely about the part about assholes...
TLDR
I'm not sure how I feel about this thread. On the one hand, the 100% blame is patently untrue. The argument only makes sense in cases where the woman asked the man to wear a condom or pull out, and he didn't. In real life, condoms break, pulling out fails, and lack of education is rampant. Also, sometimes women prefer no condom, perhaps hoping their pill will work, and perhaps it doesn't. There are many ways that unwanted pregnancy can happen, and not all of them are entirely the man's fault. On the other hand, this thread has a tonne of interesting arguments and probably nobody would read it all if it lacked the hyperbole.
Ah, you said the word, the word the Patriarchy of America hates with a passion: education. Yes, if we had the proper education about sex in schools we would have far fewer unwanted pregnancies and far fewer assholes denying their side of the responsibility for making babies. But the fact remains that most boys are brought up to believe whatever they want, they can have, be it that nifty bike or unprotected sex--and anything that results, be it a car accident from cutting in front of someone or a baby, is not their fault. Individual parents correct this, but as a whole,sorry, that's America.
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"if we had the proper education about sex in schools we would have far fewer unwanted pregnancies" You say this in support of a woman that claims that a woman can only get pregnant two days a month, demonises all forms of contraception bar pulling out and condoms and claims that 100% of the responsibility rest on only one person, it's true that proper education is needed but it's not people like you and her that should be giving it.
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Karen just stop replying. Everyone at this point knows your a sexist biased idiot on here. So just shut the fuck up. PLEASE.
This is a non winnable debate (thanks, Panda) but I'd like to point out that medical sites say women can get pregnant 6 days a month not 2.
I’m not a pro at deciphering semantics so I’m just guessing, but could she have said 2 because the highest chances of pregnancy overall are during a span of 2 days?
It's because sperm can live up to 5 days inside the woman, and ovulation occurs over 2-3 days, you only ovulate once per menstruation. Usually every 28 days. A woman does not even need to be having sex, for the sperm to remain alive and impregnate her days later.
Wow, could this lady played the victim card any harder...?? She seems to forget one very important idea, consent. Here's where women share the blame, a women can easily say NO, I will NOT have sex without a condom. NO condom, NO sex, NO unwanted pregnancy (not counting the rare times condoms don't work, something like 3 or 4%)
Yea well then there's times when women say no but men who are pigs decide to advance on them and then they're never the same, and sometimes there's a pregnancy
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Yeah that's called RAPE sweetheart and not what were talking about. Open your damn eyes.
She immediately lost credibility with that mathematical "theory". Women can only initiate a pregnancy 2 times a month, but men can initiate a pregnancy 1000+ times a year? Give me a break, this is not a representation of reality. Men are certainly more capable of controlling the pregnancy (pullout, condom control) and have less at stake in the circumstance, but to say that they are 100% responsible just sounds like spiteful accusation.
Pullout is not safe.
You know what people call people who use the "pull out" method? Parents.
Yes, there were quite a few incorrect ‘facts’ thrown about.
She lost credit when she stated abortions are the fault of ALL men, she has no credibility and if a man was to generalize women in the same way there'd be backlash of epic proportions. She's apparently misspelled moron with Mormon.
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No dear, women can only get pregnant for 2 days out of the month, a man is capable of impregnating a woman 24/7. 100% men's fault.
Sperm can live for up to 5 days inside a woman's body so if you're telling you're partners that you're good for all but two days a month then your dodgy science got you pregnant not just a man, there are male and female contraceptives which if used by either party will stop a pregnancy regardless of how many days a month someone is fertile, as a woman you have choices to stop yourself getting pregnant not just the guy you're sleeping with.
Not sure you should be taking advice from a woman who's religion did not allow black people to be ordained to the priesthood until 1978, and taught that black skin was a curse from God until 2013. Yes, 2013.... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_people_and_Mormon_priesthood
I hope you're not taking this in comparison to Christianity? I don't know every sect, but fully half of Christianity is Catholic and you *still* can't ordain a female Catholic priest. In fact, as of 2011 Rome remains the ONLY place in the world where women can't vote - because you have to be a cardinal to vote, and women can't be cardinals. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ordination_of_women_and_the_Catholic_Church https://www.bustle.com/articles/105598-theres-1-country-where-women-cant-vote-its-seriously-time-for-it-to-break-with
WTF are you talking about? Who brought up Christianity? Go troll somewhere else.
She clearly has never experienced any country of the european union- here you get a sex ed if the parents agree or not; here you always learn about the evolutionary theory from darwin and never the "god created the world" thing. And altough more sex ed is needed- if all people know how to get pregnant- there will be less unwanted pregnancies. It is about education not about shaming a person (which is also less common here (does exist but less common)
Just proving that the countries of the european union are more intelligent than the good ol' "God-fearing" (what a joke!) America.
We're well aware of Europe's long history of governmental control over the people.
I'm european and I believe in Jesus and creationism. But that doesn't have anything to do with sex education. I have never had any unwanted pregnancies. Actually I still haven't had any pregnancies at all despite having been married for eight years now.
Look, I mostly agree with her. She pointed out things I didn't really want to realize because now it makes me even madder than before. BUT. What is it with people thinking that writing a university thesis worth an article in a twitter thread is a good idea? Gosh... (I know, I know...focusing on the important things in this, am I...)
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If you think that was anything like a university thesis, then you have bigger problems than you think. Or do you only read one-paragraph stories?
That is so awesome. Mrs. Gabrielle Blair gets a standing ovation.
This would only be true if she was talking about rape pregnancies.
I had a vasectomy and I'm glad I did. But I still think pregnancy takes two. A girl can keep a condom too, and she can deny having sex without it.
her point wasn't that before sex he would take off the condom its that during sex he would take it off without her consent or knowledge
Men are 100% responsible for their part in the unwanted pregnancy. News flash, women are 100% responsible for their role as well.
yess but their parts are not equal men 80 women 20
BRAVO!!!!!
I took responsibility by taking the pill, having a diaphram, using the sponge (so very sad it disappeared) etc. It's my body so I protected it from unwanted pregnancies. Fine if the guy used condoms, but I wasn't counting on that...
How about you talk about the consequences of having sex before you have sex? If a "man" is not up for a condom and responsibility then it's penis won't get anywhere near me. Oral contraception doesn't prevent STDs and the way insurance is turning, well, just condom up.
Humans can conceive at any time throughout the month. It's the reason why we have such heavy and frequent menstrual cycles, and why we don't have a mating season. It's just that during ovulation, which is a range and not a solid "2 days", there is a higher chance. Also to say that condoms don't effect pleasurable sex for woman is a gross generalization. They can completely become arousal killers and feel like nothing's happening down there for some women. That being said, the burden of an unwanted pregnancy is unnecessarily placed on women. The balance does need to shift as she is right that men are the only ones who can cause an unwanted pregnancy. But you really can't take away ALL responsibility from women.
Awesome rant. Nice and short. however I've also had women tell me they don't want to have sex with a condom. Because it's either too interupting or they don't think it feels nice. So I believe this story is a bit one sides. I always advocate for using condoms because then at least I have somewhat of a control or pregnancy. And don't have to rely on women "forgetting" the pill. I think there are people on both sides that won't want to use condoms. Can we stop making this a woman vs man argument?
Men can ejaculate without having an orgasm. In fact it happens quite often. Although I agree that men claim to hate condoms and many unplanned pregnancies happen because of women being coerced into not using a condom, I don't see the point in vilifying men and going on a tirade about who can cause more pregnancies per year. That is clearly a one sided argument and an emotionally biased spiel. Both sides are responsible.
Has she ever heard of tubal ligation? 99% effective. I was 26 with two children, I have no regrets. I am 43 now.
I stopped reading when she said a man has to ejaculate to get a woman pregnant. NOT TRUE! Pre-cum can have swimmers and can get a woman pregnant.
My dad underwent vasectomy after my brother and i were born as he didn't want my mother to go under the knife. This was way back in 1963 and in India. Hats off to you dad. May you rest in peace.
I think she's right. The anti-choice people do seem to only care about punishing a woman for having sex.
I disagree that it's 100% the fault of men that unwanted pregnancies occur. Apart from rape, sex is normally between two consenting adults. If both parties know there is a risk of an unwanted pregnancy, STD's or STI's as a result of having sex, they are both equally responsible for the outcome whatever it may be. And you forget that the pill is not the only measure to prevent pregnancy. Others include female condoms and diaphragms are readily available to prevent unwanted pregnancy.
Whoah, no one ever told me this! Here I thought making a baby took two people, it actually only takes a man. We've been wrong this whole time, people!
This woman is clearly living in a world where no female birth control methods exist, and women can't ever say no to sex. The base of the entire argument is completely and totally false. "Unplanned pregnancy is 100% the male's fault?" Not if the male wears a condom, and it rips. Not if the girl is on birth control. Not if the girl says 'no' to sex in the first place, thus eliminating the chance for conception in the first place. That's three examples that her argument cannot rebut, which proves that the central core of her argument is fundamentally flawed. Destroy the foundation, and you destroy the entire argument that builds on that foundation. Simple, basic logic.
Research the side effects of birth control.... It is horrendous and NO walk in the park. I think 100% is ridiculous too but I agree that women shoulder more responsibility in this arena, which could be made more bearable/successful if the responsibility shared was closer to being equal. She mentioned men birth control which even has less side effects than women's bc and also reversible procedures. If we want to have a real convo with actual results that benefit both parties we will continue to discuss how to share the sexual responsibility more equally.
Easy. Transplant the womb into the man and let HIM carry the fetus to maturity. Let HIM find child care, and figure out how to juggle the kid and his job when the child care falls through. Or better, have him always carry a preprinted sheet with full name, DoB, SS number, address and job information that he can leave with each casual sex partner so she can get child support when she discovers she's pregnant. There you go. equal responsibility.