The savage art of the comeback is something that we should all take the time and dedication to master. There are very few things in life as satisfying as completely and utterly decimating someone with your wit, your snappiness, and your banter. And if you throw some good old-fashioned logic and common sense into the mix? Whew, you’re a legend.
The place that celebrates these “well-constructed put-downs, comebacks, and counter-arguments” is the legendary ‘Murdered By Words’ subreddit. Boasting a whopping 2.5 million members, r/MurderedByWords shares the best comebacks that we all wish we came up with ourselves. And, well, during the actual arguments, not days later while we’re shampooing our hair in the shower.
One of the moderators helping manage the vast r/MurderedByWords community answered some of my questions about the community. "The way we see it, a murder should (but doesn't always have to) be more than a quick response or retort. The best murders are well-constructed, thought-out responses that leave the opening argument completely without any ability to reply. In other words, their point has been totally demolished," the mod explained to Bored Panda.
"Now, obviously there's more than one way to murder with words, and sometimes a quick rapier thrust or stab to the heart (a short, swift reply) can be just as deadly as a drawn-out murder, and you'll frequently see both types in this sub," they added. Scroll down for the moderator's insights about how they and their colleagues tackle the challenges that come with managing such a large online community.
Check out the best online verbal put-downs, upvote the ones that impressed you the most, and be sure to give r/MurderedByWords a follow if you’re a fan of their stuff. When you’re done with this article, you’ll find some more inspiration for your future epic comebacks by checking out our previous features of the subreddit here, here, and here. Somebody call the police and the coroner because these ‘word-murders’ are out of control.
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Red Shirts Everywhere...
I Think This Belongs Here Too
Women Aren't People, Apparently
The moderator representing r/MurderedByWords shared with me that they have a very thorough vetting system in place for new mods. "We manage the community by being a tight-knit group of moderators who are all carefully vetted before being given the position, to ensure the stability of the subreddit and that good content gets through," they said. However, it's not just the mods who decide whether or not a comeback can be classified as a 'murder.' That honor is also given to the community members themselves.
"Overall, we believe in letting the subreddit determine what is or isn't a murder, and try to step in or remove posts only when the rules are broken or we see the same post for the gazillionth time," the mod explained.
According to the moderator, the community has its own challenges, just like any other large subreddit. "Every single post will always have someone who says, 'Not a murder,' 'This sub is dying/dead,' 'Mods suck,' etc. That comes with the territory of any subreddit, from smallest to largest," they told Bored Panda that these sorts of comments are completely unavoidable, no matter what the community might be. However, a bigger issue is... politics.
Yes, The Answer Is Yes
Who Doesn't Love Irony?
Far Too Many People See The Answer To This As Being "Yes"
No, this should never have been up for debate.
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Thanks! My autistic son got constantly ridiculed at one job he had sorting papers because he wasn't moving fast enough. They paid these learning disabled kids by the pound. My son's paychecks were $5 for two weeks. The manager said she constantly told him to take handfuls of paper to sort. I turned to the manager and told her "A) He doesn't want to make a mistake and B) He's afraid if he moves too fast he'll get a papercut. Why don't you provide him with gloves?" She had no answer...I made the school allow him to quit and do something else for his Occupational Therapy. They got him a job with a bookstore and he loved it because, when he was done with his job, they let him sit and draw and read until the bus came to get him.
i'm glad that in France, they are able to work at different kind of places, with professionnals and not abused by "managers" and payed equally. Just around my place there are laundry services, gardening services, mechanichal services, wooden furniture making, restaurants, cafés, a green grocery store and many types of factories suited for different kinds of differents people. One of this factory make "the Great" Apple Caramel (a kind of spread like nutella but with products from Normandy instead of chocolate), because a local craftsman chocolate maker give them the recipe of one of his candy filling for free, to use it to employ more differents people. This should be mandatory everywhere, vulnerable people should not be facing bad management and slavers, they need to work if they want to and be treated equally with trained professionnals to supervise and help them if they need.
Load More Replies... This is worth debating. The actual problem is a lot more complex. Disabilities differ. Some of them ARE getting exploited, badly. Blatantly. Others are given jobs out of charity, not business necessity. That is, a job that is normally done by 1 person ends up being done by three learning disabled people. Allowing the company to pay them less is reasonable in that cases. If we do not allow this practice, three disabled people lose a job. Having a job is a huge deal to any person.
Also in the U.S. They can be part of work programs funded by the government and the "employees" already live in public housing, etc.
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Hiding this barely talked about actual thing that is being used in the world to exploit people doesn't stop it from happening, it just sweeps it out of sight. This is something already happening now that can't be stopped if people don't know about it.
Load More Replies... Take the word “SHOULD” out of all of this. If someone is capable and wants to work, I’m all for it. Sitting around due to a *#*^! label society slaps on you, SUCKS. Plenty of “disabled” (disabled in any way - physical, emotional, developmental or cognitive) people are bright, charismatic awesome people who want to be in a productive part of our society. Just because somebody is disabled doesn’t mean they can’t work, nor be denied a living wage or a raise if they are good at their job! Let’s move out of the dark ages people
If the person is capable of doing the job, they should earn equal wages.
What if they are not capable of doing the same job as someone who is not experiencing a disability? That is the question posited here.
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Just Wow! Does it make them less than just because they are disabled? HELL NO!!!! Even those with disabilities have needs and wants just as any other person. They still have to live, eat, drink, pay bills and medical costs. How can these things happen without proper payment? Another sad truth is that people with disabilities are more willing to work than those who are able and most are more dependable. This question is not or should not be debatable. I find it appalling that some feel otherwise.
To be fair, the consideration in the US is because of government programs. That way they can be productive and still get the financial aid.
I assume you are referring to the disabled worker’s social security payments. This is not financial aide. Americans who work and pay into the social security fund benefit from this for retirement or if they become disabled. It also covers people born with disabilities. At 19 my daughter with Down Syndrome (who will never be able to work) receives under $800 a month from social security. This is not enough to support those who are able to live more independently. Sadly, those who are able to work, have their benefits reduced or stopped dependent on their income. As you said, TO BE FAIR, these people should be able to work and be paid at least minimum wage (if they are able and choose to do so) and receive their benefits so they have a chance to provide for themselves.
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What kind of garbage person would even want a debate on this? I hope whoever started this dies in Hell of the rest of eternity!
In Europe: It's illegal to pay anyone less than the minimum wage set by law.
P.S. Americans, this is what Goodwill does. Think twice before shopping or donating there.
The person on Twitter was sparking a debate. Just because someone asked the question it doesn't mean they agree with it.
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Hell to the no. They should get the same wage as anyone else doing that kind of work.
This is a debate? No. People need to realize that we are part of the same system as everything else. You want supply and demand? I'm going to cut out your supply of poverty wage workers. Now you need to earn employees.
I read that question to myself, why would that need to be asked? FFS people.
This is actually a valid discussion. If a disabled person earns over a certain amount their benefits are withdrawn (in this country) however many are able and willing to work and want a pay check at the end of it just like everyone else. However they could never work enough hours to support themselves especially with additional needs. Maybe the question ought to be "Should disabled people be able to work without losing their benefits?". To which the answer should always be yes. Their benefits should always be the amount they are entitled to minus the amount they earn.
They should be paid the salary that others are getting for the same job. If they have to work fewer hours, so be it, but you don't pay them less for the same amount of time worked!
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In the UK children are allowed to work and are not paid the minimum wage. It is to encourage employers to take on young people in entry level jobs. People over the age of 23 are entitled to twice what people under 18 get.
Load More Replies... The thought that someone would willingly pay people with disabilities less than "normal people" is sickening.
I'm not going to name names bc I could get sued but a well known op shop in Australia (well know for having super cheap bargains while others are raising prices) has a side hustle. They package poisons under a different name. The (unpaid) workers doing the packaging are all intellectually disabled people who work with no gloves or masks and, come lunch time, no one makes sure they wash their hands before eating. Thats how this beloved op shop franchise manages to keep their prices low and profits high.
Nobody should be allowed to work for less than minimum wage. The clue is in the name. Also the minimum wage is supposed to be enough for a person to get their basic needs met. If someone needs to work two or three minimum wage jobs in order to pay rent, minimum wage isn't high enough.
People with disabilities should be paid the same wage as everyone else should be paid. Better wages than are here NOW,
It is incomprehensible to me how this is permitted. However, and not that I agree, but- I imagine companies hiring these folks and justifying it by saying it will be a hardship on the company for training etc. I imagine also, that if it was enforced that they should be paid the same as folks that are not "impaired" the companies would simply NOT hire them. Unfair and unequal as it is, I cannot see it changing. Ever.
Imagine an employee that is less productive than all of your other employees, who cannot work without constant supervision, has little to no meter for decorum or appropriate behavior, and whose very presence may make a significant portion of your customer base uncomfortable. This employee actually costs the company more money to remain employed than the revenue they generate, and they already have guaranteed income that has a limit on outside earnings, subsidized medical care that is better than your insurance package and housing that is either completely free or supported by an extremely discounted voucher based on a sliding scale. For this employee, work is a completely optional social exercise that can also be accomplished in a volunteer capacity. Do you pay that person the same as your other employees, or do you pay them what they're worth, which is significantly less?
Imagine an employee that is less productive than all of your other employees, who cannot work without constant supervision, has little to no meter for decorum or appropriate behavior, and whose very presence may make a significant portion of your customer base uncomfortable. This employee actually costs the company more money to remain employed than the revenue they generate, and they already have guaranteed income that has a limit on outside earnings, subsidized medical care that is better than your insurance package and housing that is either completely free or supported by an extremely discounted voucher based on a sliding scale. For this employee, work is a completely optional social exercise that can also be accomplished in a volunteer capacity. Do you pay that person the same as your other employees, or do you pay them what they're worth, which is significantly less?
I'm not disabled, but I've had the same "philosophy" applied to me. Single female. I was denied a bigger raise because "I didn't have to support a family." So I assume their rationale is that these disabled workers don't have to support themselves, so they don't need as much money. A$$holes.
both me and my sister are autistic and i'm shaking my head so hard right now. why is this even up for debate?
should they be "allowed" like it's doing them a favour to pay them less than other people.
If an IQ test were required for all jobs, I know a lot of people who would be in trouble.
I’d actually like to see the numbers instead of ASSuming most people would say yes.
I find this difficult. If you would have to pay them minimum wage, they probably would not get hired as employers would then rather pick non disabled people. So I would say the employer pays less and the government substitutes it to minimum wage it or something like that.
I had a position at my mom’s (a family practice doctor) office for a few summers. I didn’t do anything too advanced, per se- mainly just sorting files on computers and sorting and moving folders in the attic and basement- but I did what no one else even had time for. And I was pretty efficient- I think I could get through something like 10 boxes within half an hour. Maybe I was only paid minimum wage, since I didn’t have a set schedule, but I got a lot of praise from everyone at that office. I was even told by some of the employees that I deserved to do nothing for a few minutes while clocked in a few times. And I should add that back then, I had childhood brain cancer.
They're working just as hard at their responsibilities, so they should be paid equally.
Alternate question: Should people with disabilities, who will, in real life, never be able to produce as much as a person without disabilities, be prohibited by law from holding a job, by laws that require any employer to pay them more than they could ever possibly produce?
By changing the question, we get to change the answer. Ask the right question, then.
Goodwill is notorious known for exploiting their employees with disabilities. And not just learning disables, but those who are blind or handicapped. They figure… no one else will want to hire them, so aren’t we wonderful for hiring them. They’re legally allowed to do this by exploiting a provision in the Fair Labor Standards Act left over from the 1930s. Sec 14 (c) which allows corporations to pay people with disabilities a subminimum wage.
As an ex-teachers of SN students this question can not be answered without much more information. It sounds like people should employ disabled even if they can not do the work without help/on their own, or not give them a chance to learn. They should not be exploited though, no.
They could definitly work for less, if they also get to pay less for everything in their lives.
"Another challenge that came up was when we decided before the US Presidential Elections to ban politics from the sub (there is a sticky at the top of the subreddit outlining what is/isn't allowed). Somehow, we managed to have both sides of the political spectrum pissed off at us for that one. Democrats complaining we had caved to the Republicans who kept getting 'owned,' and Republicans complaining because this was one big left-wing [echo chamber] and now they couldn't even respond with their own posts. We then made the ban permanent, but we still have to remove plenty of posts which fit the criteria for the no-politics rule."
But at the core of it all are practical challenges like finding ways to keep the subreddit growing and full of fresh content that will keep redditors happy. "We're lucky in that we frequently create posts that reach the front page and receive tens of thousands of upvotes (many have even passed the 100k upvote mark), which in turn helps draw attention to the sub, which creates more content, etc."
The Media Makes It To Be A Feel Good Story Over A Dystopian Nightmare
You’re An Asstrovert
Let’s All Make A Pledge
Nearly two years ago, I had a friendly chat with redditor Xor50, who’d been one of the moderators helping run r/MurderedByWords. They told me a bit about the community that has been running since December 2016, the type of content the subreddit features (and how it differs from similar subreddits like r/clevercomebacks), and how to give your put-down more substance.
“A ‘real murder’ in terms of this subreddit would be [this]: A murder should be a response to something or someone that totally, for lack of a better word, destroys them. They are, of course, subjective, and should be more or less based on fact,” Xor50 told Bored Panda previously.
Don't B Confused
More C-19 Experts..
Am I So Out Of Touch? No, It's The Children Who Are Wrong
“What is the difference between a ‘murder’ and ‘burn’ anyway? The mod team and even the MBW community has struggled for over a year to try and define the difference. It’s quite subjective and nearly an ‘I know it when I see it!’ situation, however, there are some generalities,” the redditor explained that there have been debates about the details of what constitutes a ‘murder.’
“Murders tend to be longer. It’s nearly impossible to ‘murder’ someone inside of a tweet. It’s just not long enough. You can burn them pretty good yes but a ‘murder’ is far more complete,” they said.
“Basically, anything that you would think is a witticism, one-liner, snappy comeback, or hot take is going to be a burn. Those may be a better fit for /r/clevercomebacks. Murders tend to be long-form, taking a minute or several to read, and thoroughly deconstruct an argument and/or the person making it.”
Columbus Day
🤣 That reply has some zing to it, anyone know where I can find that spcie?
Murdered By Wit
I Like The Second Guy’s Energy
Xor50 added that your personal passion for a topic can help inspire you to find a clever way to put down someone’s bad arguments. “Think about a topic you’re really passionate about and imagine you’re talking to an idiot who just doesn’t get it. That’s how I imagine it,” they said.
The art of the comeback isn’t out of reach for us, no matter how epic and unreachable some of these slap-backs and roasts might seem.
Classic Karen
Yeah, That'll Work
That’s Got To Hurt
British comedy writer and stand-up comedian Ariane Sherine explained to me during an earlier interview what the most important parts of a comeback are. “I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she told Bored Panda.
According to Ariane, most stand-up comics actually have a “repertoire of comebacks” that they rely on while on the stage. This way, they can be prepared for hecklers and (at least some) unexpected situations. There’s a lot of prep that goes into being a good comedian!
“We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," she said.
How Dare We Give You The Correct Amount Of Changes
Bit Of A Stretch
What's with people and body hair? If you like body hair, good for you. If you don't, also good for you. No need to body shame someone for something that occurs naturally. It's like insulting someone for having legs. I'm looking at you, female beauty standards
Seriously What Is Wrong With You
Ariane revealed to Bored Panda that comedy professionals build up emotional resilience with time and experience.
“Heckle putdowns are generally shared among comics so there's no code of honor when it comes to using them (but you mustn't nick original stand-up material!),” Ariane told me where we can find some inspiration for clever comebacks.
Good Luck To The Women In Your Future
Entitled Karen Getting Stabbed By Words
Get Wrecked...
The comedy writer also pointed out that comebacks can either be spontaneous or more planned out (if you’ve got the time), depending on the actual comic.
"It [the comeback] needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable,” she said, adding that it’s relatively rare in her experience to have spontaneous eruptions of genius all the time. “That's relatively rare in my experience. I'm sure many other comics are more natural than I am!"
Research Before You Sprouts Anything On Social Media
Better Check Those Facts
Handle With Care
'As a man, the only emotion you should show is forest hack-saw domination', said, a conservative.
Why Go Out Of Your Way To Be An As**ole?
This Doubles As A Til About The Spanish Anthem
Once Wasn't Enough, He Came Back For More
Rip Sportsball Fan
I completely support LGBTQ rights because LGBTQ people are the same as us heterosexuals, they just have different romantic preferences. They don't deserve to be treated as less than us...
God vs. Humanity
Trying To Gatekeep Conversations
What the actual f*ck is the original poster thinking? This must be one of the stupidest things I have ever read.
I've Had A 32" TV For Longer Than I'd Like To Admit
Oh, No! Anything But That!
US heath insurance is a scam... And textbooks are a scam... And minimum wage is a scam... Basically everything is a scam
The Ol' Switcheroo
Who Ever Will Fight A Wolf ?
But How Will They Make Money If They Can't Take Advantage Of People?!??
What Are Crab Cakes?
Doctor Of Reading?
Sounds like the symptoms of covid...so people without vaccination tend to get covid symptoms ... Who'd ave guessed?
I Don’t Really Know If This Counts But..
1) why would you be this pretentious in the first place 2) why would you be so pretentious on a god damn memes page...
Just So We’re Clear
It's Almost As If
You Can't Justify Her Actions No Matter What
He was trying to create a new line of skin care products...to sell in baskets....
I Once Knew A Peacock
Note: this post originally had 119 images. It’s been shortened to the top 45 images based on user votes.
Sometimes I actually forget that so many people are so completely stupid. Thank you for reminding me because it's important to remember.
Idiots being like "BP users are just looking to get offended" while being a BP user
I had to quit reading. I've never read so many stupid, uncaring remarks in all my life!
I keep hearing Only Fans on the internet lately, but I have a feeling I shouldn't bother Googling it.
Sometimes I actually forget that so many people are so completely stupid. Thank you for reminding me because it's important to remember.
Idiots being like "BP users are just looking to get offended" while being a BP user
I had to quit reading. I've never read so many stupid, uncaring remarks in all my life!
I keep hearing Only Fans on the internet lately, but I have a feeling I shouldn't bother Googling it.
