The savage art of the comeback is something that we should all take the time and dedication to master. There are very few things in life as satisfying as completely and utterly decimating someone with your wit, your snappiness, and your banter. And if you throw some good old-fashioned logic and common sense into the mix? Whew, you’re a legend.
The place that celebrates these “well-constructed put-downs, comebacks, and counter-arguments” is the legendary ‘Murdered By Words’ subreddit. Boasting a whopping 2.5 million members, r/MurderedByWords shares the best comebacks that we all wish we came up with ourselves. And, well, during the actual arguments, not days later while we’re shampooing our hair in the shower.
One of the moderators helping manage the vast r/MurderedByWords community answered some of my questions about the community. "The way we see it, a murder should (but doesn't always have to) be more than a quick response or retort. The best murders are well-constructed, thought-out responses that leave the opening argument completely without any ability to reply. In other words, their point has been totally demolished," the mod explained to Bored Panda.
"Now, obviously there's more than one way to murder with words, and sometimes a quick rapier thrust or stab to the heart (a short, swift reply) can be just as deadly as a drawn-out murder, and you'll frequently see both types in this sub," they added. Scroll down for the moderator's insights about how they and their colleagues tackle the challenges that come with managing such a large online community.
Check out the best online verbal put-downs, upvote the ones that impressed you the most, and be sure to give r/MurderedByWords a follow if you’re a fan of their stuff. When you’re done with this article, you’ll find some more inspiration for your future epic comebacks by checking out our previous features of the subreddit here, here, and here. Somebody call the police and the coroner because these ‘word-murders’ are out of control.
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Red Shirts Everywhere...
I Think This Belongs Here Too
Women Aren't People, Apparently
The moderator representing r/MurderedByWords shared with me that they have a very thorough vetting system in place for new mods. "We manage the community by being a tight-knit group of moderators who are all carefully vetted before being given the position, to ensure the stability of the subreddit and that good content gets through," they said. However, it's not just the mods who decide whether or not a comeback can be classified as a 'murder.' That honor is also given to the community members themselves.
"Overall, we believe in letting the subreddit determine what is or isn't a murder, and try to step in or remove posts only when the rules are broken or we see the same post for the gazillionth time," the mod explained.
According to the moderator, the community has its own challenges, just like any other large subreddit. "Every single post will always have someone who says, 'Not a murder,' 'This sub is dying/dead,' 'Mods suck,' etc. That comes with the territory of any subreddit, from smallest to largest," they told Bored Panda that these sorts of comments are completely unavoidable, no matter what the community might be. However, a bigger issue is... politics.
Yes, The Answer Is Yes
Who Doesn't Love Irony?
To be fair only the bad Christians do that. I live in Germany and the religious people here are fine, they never bother me, keep to themselves and don't push you to become a Christian. I even went to the Christian school here and the only thing I was 'forced' to do was attend religious classes and even those were fun because I was never pressured into believing in God or anything like that! They had ceremonies and stuff and you COULD attend them or you could just have a long break, you literally were never forced to be Christian.
This is how religious education should be delivered in school. I think that information and open discussion on religions is important to help us understand history as well as current issues, and to allow people to choose a faith system that suits them, if they need one. Indoctrination of young people is awful. It closes down their options; narrows their world view. I'm not going to overtly tell you what my personal beliefs are, just to defy OP!
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It's a great job. You just sit there doing nothing.
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I have a relative who went from pushy, in-your-face Christian to pushy, in-your-face athiest. It doesn't seem to matter what his beliefs are, he's just an arsehole who needs to control.
If somebody is pushing something I want to know why, I want to know facts. There are not enough people pushing truths, facts, universal compassion, responsibilities.....
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...and the biggest atheist will speak on behalf the mighty atheist and the other atheists will give him their money so he can buy a mansion and a jet.
Yep, Atheists, Agnostics, Wiccans, all of those people NOT screaming about how you'll go to some imaginary bad place if you don't drop your personal or objective beliefs and join/follow theirs. You never see them at any Pride Parades berating people over megaphones like those "church folk". It's like they just want everyone to live their own lives and quietly exist!
For almost two decades I still never decided if I'm atheist or agnostic but recently found it's possible to be both, so I'll take it. Even Wicca can be included without religious concepts. Go ahead with downvotes-no fuccks.
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Where I grew up in a little town I used to hear the damn church bells ring early in the morning and it was a f****n racket, I didn't ever hear atheist bells spoiling everyone's Sunday morning hangover.
But seriously, atheists need a symbol... I want an atheist necklace soooo bad (with earrings and all)
bye folks i'm off to north sentinel island to spread the word of atheism
my son is an atheist. he is a better christian than those that go to church everyday ,pound their chests, go to confession and act so holy.as soon as they are away from their " place of worship" they start putting everybody down. my son helps people whenever he can, however he can. he has never denied helping anybody simply because they are christians. the catholic church member told me to the leave the church because i was not wanted there because i am a mexican. i will take my son", the atheist, moral beliefs over any so-called a good jesus loving church going hypocrite.
How to find an atheist? Start by looking among those who are sane and rational!
Atheists have even been known to knock on your door to spread the word of atheism as well.
I put a post on facebook about my atheism a few years ago and people who had known me for decades sent me private messages. Most were curious. A few about my soul. Or sole. Not sure.
I call myself an apatheist. There are atheists who go on and on about the nonexistence of deity. I feel it's a more honest approach to simply not think about deity, in the same way I never think about fairies, astrology, fortune-telling, Bigfoot, alien abduction, flat earth theory, and a whole host of similar things that cannot be proven to exist.
Wait a minute, Nikki, flat earth theory was disproved, even by Catholics - even though it took them more than 360 years.
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Also, I have never heard of an atheist killing a whole tribe of people because they did not believe in being an atheist
LMAO! Spot on. The reason this person thinks atheists tell people that they’re atheists is because probably the first thing out of their own mouths is ‘Have you accepted Jesus into your life?’
And if you show any signs of not being an atheist, they wave their pro-atheist books at you.
A brilliant statement from a God fearing Christian. Organized religion is the biggest scam ever perpetrated on humanity.
Agnostics are prone to do what, bdunbar@kcls.org????
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He forgot the most important part: the atheists who talk all the time about how atheism is the foundation of their existence.....and then never act like atheists at all.
Yes christians are constantly having to sit through meetings where almost everyone else is an atheist and silently pretend to go along with the atheists bowing their heads and thanking the non-god for their blessings.
in my experience atheists can be very vocal about how they believe that G-d doesn't exist and many aren't respectful of other's beliefs...
Hahahahah! Atheists are like vegans and cross fitters. I respect all of them, but Lord how they try a person's patience.
Lisa, it's because making people to do compassionate -common good, responsible, and factual things is always irritating to them, mostly to those who do not give a damn.
Load More Replies... In the first guy's defense, I have met a lot of fundamental atheists who won't hesitate to argue with you if you say "Oh my God..." or something like that. Religion itself isn't the issue, it's fanaticism, and it comes in all forms.
TimesNewLogan, it may be fanaticism, or it can be sheer desperation. Things do not go well on this planet thanks to humans.
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not only that but they dont shun you or force you to be an atheist because they need to recruit
Aside from the atheist-themed jewellery, and the monuments, this reply is basically talking about Richard Dawkins.
I’m an atheist and I don’t know how to feel about my mom working in a church. She isn’t like pray to Jesus and stuff but it’s still weird.
Bit ironic that no one said they were atheist when a religious person started bashing atheism. Almost like they couldn't wait to tell you they are religious
Eh, as an atheist myself, Reddit Atheists are definitely a thing. I saw some of them mocking a cancer patient for saying “thank God” after their treatment worked. They were self-righteously claiming that it was dismissive of the doctors - so by that logic, if someone dies of cancer, is it always the doctor’s fault? No? Then leave the damn woman alone.
i suggest giving jibbers crabst a go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ_BtZ-5O60
Atheists, always shoving it in your face at every opportunity!
Except, umm, atheists DO hold meetings where they talk about how great atheism is, and they do publish books and make movies and TV shows promoting atheism, and they do have organizations that promote atheism. And they do write songs about atheism and sing them on the radio. (Ever heard the Beatles song "Imagine"?) Yes, Christians do a lot to promote their beliefs to. I don't know how you'd measure to compare, but if you measured the amount of effort promoting atheism per atheist in the world to the amount of effort promoting Christianity per Christian, I suspect atheists would win.
Soviets did that tho (declared atheists) - not saying all regular atheists are like that obviously btw.
I don't think that Soviets and all Communists are atheists, they are pretty religious - they think they are God - the superior rulers of the Earth and Universe, and what they say goes.
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Everyone has there flaws but seriously? I see Christians on the daily giving out bibles and they can disregard others religions thinking that their religion is better.
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The fact that you are vocal about god is likely why you get reactions from atheists who find you insufferable.
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Atheism is not a religion. It's the lack of a religious belief. Hence the word A-theist. It's the equivalent of you not believing in Santa. Though somehow, I'm not entirely sure you don't.
Load More Replies...Far Too Many People See The Answer To This As Being "Yes"
"Another challenge that came up was when we decided before the US Presidential Elections to ban politics from the sub (there is a sticky at the top of the subreddit outlining what is/isn't allowed). Somehow, we managed to have both sides of the political spectrum pissed off at us for that one. Democrats complaining we had caved to the Republicans who kept getting 'owned,' and Republicans complaining because this was one big left-wing [echo chamber] and now they couldn't even respond with their own posts. We then made the ban permanent, but we still have to remove plenty of posts which fit the criteria for the no-politics rule."
But at the core of it all are practical challenges like finding ways to keep the subreddit growing and full of fresh content that will keep redditors happy. "We're lucky in that we frequently create posts that reach the front page and receive tens of thousands of upvotes (many have even passed the 100k upvote mark), which in turn helps draw attention to the sub, which creates more content, etc."
The Media Makes It To Be A Feel Good Story Over A Dystopian Nightmare
You’re An Asstrovert
Let’s All Make A Pledge
Nearly two years ago, I had a friendly chat with redditor Xor50, who’d been one of the moderators helping run r/MurderedByWords. They told me a bit about the community that has been running since December 2016, the type of content the subreddit features (and how it differs from similar subreddits like r/clevercomebacks), and how to give your put-down more substance.
“A ‘real murder’ in terms of this subreddit would be [this]: A murder should be a response to something or someone that totally, for lack of a better word, destroys them. They are, of course, subjective, and should be more or less based on fact,” Xor50 told Bored Panda previously.
Don't B Confused
More C-19 Experts..
Am I So Out Of Touch? No, It's The Children Who Are Wrong
“What is the difference between a ‘murder’ and ‘burn’ anyway? The mod team and even the MBW community has struggled for over a year to try and define the difference. It’s quite subjective and nearly an ‘I know it when I see it!’ situation, however, there are some generalities,” the redditor explained that there have been debates about the details of what constitutes a ‘murder.’
“Murders tend to be longer. It’s nearly impossible to ‘murder’ someone inside of a tweet. It’s just not long enough. You can burn them pretty good yes but a ‘murder’ is far more complete,” they said.
“Basically, anything that you would think is a witticism, one-liner, snappy comeback, or hot take is going to be a burn. Those may be a better fit for /r/clevercomebacks. Murders tend to be long-form, taking a minute or several to read, and thoroughly deconstruct an argument and/or the person making it.”
Columbus Day
🤣 That reply has some zing to it, anyone know where I can find that spcie?
Murdered By Wit
I Like The Second Guy’s Energy
Xor50 added that your personal passion for a topic can help inspire you to find a clever way to put down someone’s bad arguments. “Think about a topic you’re really passionate about and imagine you’re talking to an idiot who just doesn’t get it. That’s how I imagine it,” they said.
The art of the comeback isn’t out of reach for us, no matter how epic and unreachable some of these slap-backs and roasts might seem.
Classic Karen
Yeah, That'll Work
That’s Got To Hurt
British comedy writer and stand-up comedian Ariane Sherine explained to me during an earlier interview what the most important parts of a comeback are. “I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she told Bored Panda.
According to Ariane, most stand-up comics actually have a “repertoire of comebacks” that they rely on while on the stage. This way, they can be prepared for hecklers and (at least some) unexpected situations. There’s a lot of prep that goes into being a good comedian!
“We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," she said.
How Dare We Give You The Correct Amount Of Changes
Bit Of A Stretch
What's with people and body hair? If you like body hair, good for you. If you don't, also good for you. No need to body shame someone for something that occurs naturally. It's like insulting someone for having legs. I'm looking at you, female beauty standards
Seriously What Is Wrong With You
Ariane revealed to Bored Panda that comedy professionals build up emotional resilience with time and experience.
“Heckle putdowns are generally shared among comics so there's no code of honor when it comes to using them (but you mustn't nick original stand-up material!),” Ariane told me where we can find some inspiration for clever comebacks.
Good Luck To The Women In Your Future
Entitled Karen Getting Stabbed By Words
Get Wrecked...
The comedy writer also pointed out that comebacks can either be spontaneous or more planned out (if you’ve got the time), depending on the actual comic.
"It [the comeback] needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable,” she said, adding that it’s relatively rare in her experience to have spontaneous eruptions of genius all the time. “That's relatively rare in my experience. I'm sure many other comics are more natural than I am!"
Research Before You Sprouts Anything On Social Media
Better Check Those Facts
Handle With Care
'As a man, the only emotion you should show is forest hack-saw domination', said, a conservative.
Why Go Out Of Your Way To Be An As**ole?
This Doubles As A Til About The Spanish Anthem
Once Wasn't Enough, He Came Back For More
Rip Sportsball Fan
I completely support LGBTQ rights because LGBTQ people are the same as us heterosexuals, they just have different romantic preferences. They don't deserve to be treated as less than us...
God vs. Humanity
Trying To Gatekeep Conversations
What the actual f*ck is the original poster thinking? This must be one of the stupidest things I have ever read.
I've Had A 32" TV For Longer Than I'd Like To Admit
Oh, No! Anything But That!
US heath insurance is a scam... And textbooks are a scam... And minimum wage is a scam... Basically everything is a scam
The Ol' Switcheroo
Who Ever Will Fight A Wolf ?
But How Will They Make Money If They Can't Take Advantage Of People?!??
What Are Crab Cakes?
Doctor Of Reading?
Sounds like the symptoms of covid...so people without vaccination tend to get covid symptoms ... Who'd ave guessed?
I Don’t Really Know If This Counts But..
1) why would you be this pretentious in the first place 2) why would you be so pretentious on a god damn memes page...
Just So We’re Clear
It's Almost As If
You Can't Justify Her Actions No Matter What
He was trying to create a new line of skin care products...to sell in baskets....
I Once Knew A Peacock
Note: this post originally had 119 images. It’s been shortened to the top 45 images based on user votes.
Sometimes I actually forget that so many people are so completely stupid. Thank you for reminding me because it's important to remember.
Idiots being like "BP users are just looking to get offended" while being a BP user
I had to quit reading. I've never read so many stupid, uncaring remarks in all my life!
I keep hearing Only Fans on the internet lately, but I have a feeling I shouldn't bother Googling it.
Sometimes I actually forget that so many people are so completely stupid. Thank you for reminding me because it's important to remember.
Idiots being like "BP users are just looking to get offended" while being a BP user
I had to quit reading. I've never read so many stupid, uncaring remarks in all my life!
I keep hearing Only Fans on the internet lately, but I have a feeling I shouldn't bother Googling it.
