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The savage art of the comeback is something that we should all take the time and dedication to master. There are very few things in life as satisfying as completely and utterly decimating someone with your wit, your snappiness, and your banter. And if you throw some good old-fashioned logic and common sense into the mix? Whew, you’re a legend.

The place that celebrates these “well-constructed put-downs, comebacks, and counter-arguments” is the legendary ‘Murdered By Words’ subreddit. Boasting a whopping 2.5 million members, r/MurderedByWords shares the best comebacks that we all wish we came up with ourselves. And, well, during the actual arguments, not days later while we’re shampooing our hair in the shower.

One of the moderators helping manage the vast r/MurderedByWords community answered some of my questions about the community. "The way we see it, a murder should (but doesn't always have to) be more than a quick response or retort. The best murders are well-constructed, thought-out responses that leave the opening argument completely without any ability to reply. In other words, their point has been totally demolished," the mod explained to Bored Panda.

"Now, obviously there's more than one way to murder with words, and sometimes a quick rapier thrust or stab to the heart (a short, swift reply) can be just as deadly as a drawn-out murder, and you'll frequently see both types in this sub," they added. Scroll down for the moderator's insights about how they and their colleagues tackle the challenges that come with managing such a large online community.

Check out the best online verbal put-downs, upvote the ones that impressed you the most, and be sure to give r/MurderedByWords a follow if you’re a fan of their stuff. When you’re done with this article, you’ll find some more inspiration for your future epic comebacks by checking out our previous features of the subreddit here, here, and here. Somebody call the police and the coroner because these ‘word-murders’ are out of control.

#3

Women Aren't People, Apparently

Women Aren't People, Apparently

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The moderator representing r/MurderedByWords shared with me that they have a very thorough vetting system in place for new mods. "We manage the community by being a tight-knit group of moderators who are all carefully vetted before being given the position, to ensure the stability of the subreddit and that good content gets through," they said. However, it's not just the mods who decide whether or not a comeback can be classified as a 'murder.' That honor is also given to the community members themselves.

"Overall, we believe in letting the subreddit determine what is or isn't a murder, and try to step in or remove posts only when the rules are broken or we see the same post for the gazillionth time," the mod explained.

According to the moderator, the community has its own challenges, just like any other large subreddit. "Every single post will always have someone who says, 'Not a murder,' 'This sub is dying/dead,' 'Mods suck,' etc. That comes with the territory of any subreddit, from smallest to largest," they told Bored Panda that these sorts of comments are completely unavoidable, no matter what the community might be. However, a bigger issue is... politics.

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#6

Far Too Many People See The Answer To This As Being "Yes"

Far Too Many People See The Answer To This As Being "Yes"

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"Another challenge that came up was when we decided before the US Presidential Elections to ban politics from the sub (there is a sticky at the top of the subreddit outlining what is/isn't allowed). Somehow, we managed to have both sides of the political spectrum pissed off at us for that one. Democrats complaining we had caved to the Republicans who kept getting 'owned,' and Republicans complaining because this was one big left-wing [echo chamber] and now they couldn't even respond with their own posts. We then made the ban permanent, but we still have to remove plenty of posts which fit the criteria for the no-politics rule."

But at the core of it all are practical challenges like finding ways to keep the subreddit growing and full of fresh content that will keep redditors happy. "We're lucky in that we frequently create posts that reach the front page and receive tens of thousands of upvotes (many have even passed the 100k upvote mark), which in turn helps draw attention to the sub, which creates more content, etc."

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#7

The Media Makes It To Be A Feel Good Story Over A Dystopian Nightmare

The Media Makes It To Be A Feel Good Story Over A Dystopian Nightmare

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#8

You’re An Asstrovert

You’re An Asstrovert

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Nearly two years ago, I had a friendly chat with redditor Xor50, who’d been one of the moderators helping run r/MurderedByWords. They told me a bit about the community that has been running since December 2016, the type of content the subreddit features (and how it differs from similar subreddits like r/clevercomebacks), and how to give your put-down more substance.

“A ‘real murder’ in terms of this subreddit would be [this]: A murder should be a response to something or someone that totally, for lack of a better word, destroys them. They are, of course, subjective, and should be more or less based on fact,” Xor50 told Bored Panda previously.

#10

Don't B Confused

Don't B Confused

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the U.S., there's a government service that can help low-income people get cell phones, as phones are such an essential part of the modern world (being accessible for emergencies, getting a job, doing the record keeping required for many types of government benefits, letting the kid access the internet for schoolwork, etc.). Even so, there are still ignorant people who made snide comments about folks using food banks and having cell phones. You can definitely be poor and have a cell phone.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Many churches and missions provide homeless with working cell phones so they can call emergency service if necessary. Being on the street with drug addicts and mentally unstable people has it's dangers. One homeless man I know was attacked by a pit bull one week and then stabbed the next week trying to defend a homeless woman that was being assaulted.

suzn34 avatar
Susan Bosse
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had to use food stamps after my son was born. No shame there. A friend posted on FB about how she didn't understand someone needing food stamps while having an iPhone. We lived in different cities so it wasn't me to whom she was referring. Um. Hello. Needing food stamps didn't mean I needed to sell a paid for iPhone and break my contract with Sprint and buy a cheap phone and pay month-by-month. I replied to her comment with the above. Then the backtracking started. Especially when I replied that I was currently on food stamps and had no intention of going out and buying a different phone or changing my cell phone plan that I'd had for a number of years. I have also worked since I was 16 and paid into the system for 17 years at that point. I have no shame in receiving assistance temporarily. She ended up deleting her post and called me...on said iphone...to apologize. This was way before "woke" was a thing. Lol

leannemariedantoni avatar
Agnes Jekyll
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You taught her something really important that day. I'm glad she apologized, she was clearly open to learning.

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know homeless people can have relatives too. Relatives who may not have the resources to do much more than pay for a cellphone so their homeless relatives can call if they need help, and so they can hopefully locate them if they go missing.

sean_bullough avatar
Sean Harrison
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Homeless people can get pre-paid cellphones from shelters or the local welfare dept in the USA. That way they can use the cell phone for emergencies, or even look for a job.

elizabeth_foga avatar
Bettie-Jean Neal
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are programs for low income/no income people to get free cell phones from the government. They're pretty basic, but it's still a phone.

mphseti avatar
mph seti
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you find yourself homeless the most important thing becomes your phone. Can't get a job without one, can't access any help without one, etc.

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Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This happened to a friend, same exact thing. My friend replied “trade you” and got a predictable response. Dead awkward silence

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Damon Tripodi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Many homeless people make more per hour than you do at your minimum wage job

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Thomas E S Thomas
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Obama gave out millions of free cell phones to the homeless and needy in 2012.

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Robert Miller
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These feckers with their BS attacks on the poor ! Like Bill O'Reily saying "they have refrigerators !" like what are they supposed to do bury their food in the yard ?

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Eddie Yoo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

a used cellphone is much much cheaper than a used house. if you must compare...

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Yort
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My phone cost like $140 new and at minimum costs like $10 for service every month (it’s technically a cheaper monthly fee to buy larger packages). I use Tracfone and their cheapest phones are like $10. My rent is $1200. Math.

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Marie-José Renaud
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those people don't know math and don't care to learn. They're just out to look down on others. Alos about your rent: ouchie!

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Simzabandz
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You need to know of all people that phones have become a need in the modern era, I mean cause of your reply, probably someone can notice and buy this individual a house and now you have something good coming out of your jerkness lol hate fools like you Alan.

ohxrkqra avatar
Kira Okah
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How are you going to get calls for an interview? Or for being told that the shelter has a space for you? Or to apply for assistance?

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DDmaybeandor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I were homeless, after food the first thing I'd get is a phone. Is dangerous on the streets! Next I'd try to save up for a car. Even if it didn't run at all at least it could provide some sort of shelter and locking doors.

terryltobias avatar
Terry Tobias
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People in the US who have little or no income can qualify for LifeLine, a program that will give you discounted home phone service or free mobile service that comes with a free basic model smartphone. If they have no address they can go to a social service agency for help. Phones ARE essential!

cindycollins_1 avatar
CincyReds
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read an article on here once, where a homeless lady told people the things they need to keep wile homeless, and a cell phone was one of them. Also a gym membership so they have a place to shower. Was a really good article

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Lisa Chambers
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Um free phone programs exist. Not necessarily to help the person, but to give the government more coverage to access what people are doing and saying.

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Jaybird3939
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My county gives away free cell phones so people can contact their loved ones. I think it has pretty limited options.

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Lynn H
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some states help people with phone so they can get Dr appointments set up, get rides for those appointments, try getting a job, and a lot more. The phones are a huge help.

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Purple Panda Rae'n
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In two words: "OBAMA PHONE." *(It's FREE- providing you can show you are on/ have id and some 'assistance.' i.e., Medi-Cal, etc.)

willemsen avatar
Meami
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Many communities supply their homeless population with donated cell phones so they can get services, look for jobs, etc.

jackieporter avatar
Jackie Porter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the UK you cannot apply for jobs, homes, welfare benefits etc unless it's online most of the time

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Erica Cochrane
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Plus, do some governments not give them out to homeless people so they can be contacted for doctors appointments and access information they might need?

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Vicki Hardy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A mobile phone is probably his only link/means of contacting the outside world.

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Devon Wadkins
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

totally ignores the fact that people own things before becoming homeless... when someone becomes homeless, there isn't a TSA style security line to pass through were you have to turn in your belongings.

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KMill
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you are on desperate times, your phone is the last thing you give up.

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Laura MG
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Our government provides phone service free to those with no income or who are very low income. There are lots of companies that provide this service.

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Vernice Aure
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People with low and no income can often get a basic cellphone for about $15 or free through service agencies.

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Heather L
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How did he get a cell phone without an address? There are agencies that allow people experiencing homelessness to use the agencies address. This allows them to then get lost/stolen ID back, to have a phone number to get an apartment, or a job to get government mail like rebate cheques or welfare so they can then get an apartment.

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Eric S.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now if he had said a 65" TV he might have had a point.

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Leigh C.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just like how people say to low income women "Pfft. She can't afford rent but can afford a manicure." Meanwhile the girl has on DIY nails and/or just really knows how to put on nail polish and wants to look good to find a job.

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Shelli Aderman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here’s the link to the whole thread… https://twitter.com/antoeknee407/status/1391940595418021890?s=21

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I don't like my name
Community Member
2 years ago

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I don't like my name
Community Member
2 years ago

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~hUmMuS vIbEs~
Community Member
2 years ago

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Honestly, there's probably gonna be an iPhone 33 or something which costs more than a house.

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J Adams
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Think it’s more to do with where someone sleeping on the streets would be able to charge a phone

wendillon avatar
Monday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Given how many business have chargers available it's not really that difficult to find a place to charge it.

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Linziaj
Community Member
2 years ago

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Phones are NOT essential. I'd rather have a roof and food

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Aria Whitaker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And you think the whole $25 you spend a month on a pre-paid burner phone will help you get a "roof" faster? In what universe?

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#12

Am I So Out Of Touch? No, It's The Children Who Are Wrong

Am I So Out Of Touch? No, It's The Children Who Are Wrong

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“What is the difference between a ‘murder’ and ‘burn’ anyway? The mod team and even the MBW community has struggled for over a year to try and define the difference. It’s quite subjective and nearly an ‘I know it when I see it!’ situation, however, there are some generalities,” the redditor explained that there have been debates about the details of what constitutes a ‘murder.’

“Murders tend to be longer. It’s nearly impossible to ‘murder’ someone inside of a tweet. It’s just not long enough. You can burn them pretty good yes but a ‘murder’ is far more complete,” they said.

“Basically, anything that you would think is a witticism, one-liner, snappy comeback, or hot take is going to be a burn. Those may be a better fit for /r/clevercomebacks. Murders tend to be long-form, taking a minute or several to read, and thoroughly deconstruct an argument and/or the person making it.”

#13

Columbus Day

Columbus Day

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Xor50 added that your personal passion for a topic can help inspire you to find a clever way to put down someone’s bad arguments. “Think about a topic you’re really passionate about and imagine you’re talking to an idiot who just doesn’t get it. That’s how I imagine it,” they said.

The art of the comeback isn’t out of reach for us, no matter how epic and unreachable some of these slap-backs and roasts might seem. 

#16

Classic Karen

Classic Karen

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Angela B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Such a good response, that I went and made popcorn and sat in my comfy chair.

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British comedy writer and stand-up comedian Ariane Sherine explained to me during an earlier interview what the most important parts of a comeback are. “I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she told Bored Panda.

According to Ariane, most stand-up comics actually have a “repertoire of comebacks” that they rely on while on the stage. This way, they can be prepared for hecklers and (at least some) unexpected situations. There’s a lot of prep that goes into being a good comedian!

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“We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," she said.

#19

How Dare We Give You The Correct Amount Of Changes

How Dare We Give You The Correct Amount Of Changes

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#20

Bit Of A Stretch

Bit Of A Stretch

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Michelle M
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's with people and body hair? If you like body hair, good for you. If you don't, also good for you. No need to body shame someone for something that occurs naturally. It's like insulting someone for having legs. I'm looking at you, female beauty standards

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#21

Seriously What Is Wrong With You

Seriously What Is Wrong With You

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Ariane revealed to Bored Panda that comedy professionals build up emotional resilience with time and experience.

“Heckle putdowns are generally shared among comics so there's no code of honor when it comes to using them (but you mustn't nick original stand-up material!),” Ariane told me where we can find some inspiration for clever comebacks.

#22

Good Luck To The Women In Your Future

Good Luck To The Women In Your Future

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Loretta
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dear men who consider this a good advice: I agree, please stay the f**k away from us.

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#23

Entitled Karen Getting Stabbed By Words

Entitled Karen Getting Stabbed By Words

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Sum Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People think they have the right to people because they see them on TV

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The comedy writer also pointed out that comebacks can either be spontaneous or more planned out (if you’ve got the time), depending on the actual comic. 

"It [the comeback] needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable,” she said, adding that it’s relatively rare in her experience to have spontaneous eruptions of genius all the time. “That's relatively rare in my experience. I'm sure many other comics are more natural than I am!"

#25

Research Before You Sprouts Anything On Social Media

Research Before You Sprouts Anything On Social Media

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#26

Better Check Those Facts

Better Check Those Facts

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#27

Handle With Care

Handle With Care

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Michelle M
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'As a man, the only emotion you should show is forest hack-saw domination', said, a conservative.

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#28

Why Go Out Of Your Way To Be An As**ole?

Why Go Out Of Your Way To Be An As**ole?

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generally_happy avatar
similarly
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I admit, I have a pretty good life ... but I've suffered chronic depression since I was a kid. There's no logic to depression.

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#29

This Doubles As A Til About The Spanish Anthem

This Doubles As A Til About The Spanish Anthem

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#30

Once Wasn't Enough, He Came Back For More

Once Wasn't Enough, He Came Back For More

beerbellybegone Report

#31

Rip Sportsball Fan

Rip Sportsball Fan

KosmicTom , twitter.com Report

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BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I completely support LGBTQ rights because LGBTQ people are the same as us heterosexuals, they just have different romantic preferences. They don't deserve to be treated as less than us...

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#32

God vs. Humanity

God vs. Humanity

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Sum Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not just that, his first 2 people were cancelled for eating a fruit he made

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#33

Trying To Gatekeep Conversations

Trying To Gatekeep Conversations

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Chrissie Mörbe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the actual f*ck is the original poster thinking? This must be one of the stupidest things I have ever read.

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#34

I've Had A 32" TV For Longer Than I'd Like To Admit

I've Had A 32" TV For Longer Than I'd Like To Admit

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Sanne H.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is a difference between “old rich” and “new rich” here. Old rich (families that are wealthy for many generations) don’t usually show off.

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#35

Oh, No! Anything But That!

Oh, No! Anything But That!

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UncleRussian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

US heath insurance is a scam... And textbooks are a scam... And minimum wage is a scam... Basically everything is a scam

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#36

The Ol' Switcheroo

The Ol' Switcheroo

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Ancsuri
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I still dont get it, why some people think that vaccination is evil, and but mumbo-jumbo things offered on the internet will work to cure cancer.

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#38

But How Will They Make Money If They Can't Take Advantage Of People?!??

But How Will They Make Money If They Can't Take Advantage Of People?!??

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#39

What Are Crab Cakes?

What Are Crab Cakes?

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NsG
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"anyone who isn't within walking distance of a school shooting"...

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#40

Doctor Of Reading?

Doctor Of Reading?

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Basil Ignatov
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like the symptoms of covid...so people without vaccination tend to get covid symptoms ... Who'd ave guessed?

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#41

I Don’t Really Know If This Counts But..

I Don’t Really Know If This Counts But..

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UncleRussian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1) why would you be this pretentious in the first place 2) why would you be so pretentious on a god damn memes page...

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#42

Just So We’re Clear

Just So We’re Clear

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#43

It's Almost As If

It's Almost As If

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tmarek13 avatar
just me
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am in favor of unions, but... They need to protect the integrity of a profession and not just the workers. Police unions shouldn't protect dirty cops. Teacher/education unions shouldn't protect abusive staff.

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#44

You Can't Justify Her Actions No Matter What

You Can't Justify Her Actions No Matter What

OkSurprise7755 , twitter.com Report

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Truth Monster
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He was trying to create a new line of skin care products...to sell in baskets....

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#45

I Once Knew A Peacock

I Once Knew A Peacock

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Note: this post originally had 119 images. It’s been shortened to the top 45 images based on user votes.

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