Stepping up gives you one sense of accomplishment, but one-upping someone who’s clearly wrong is a whole other achievement. So this post is dedicated to those who didn’t stay silent when hearing false statements, fake news, or faulty arguments, but decided to cut the BS and do everyone a public service.
Thanks to the r/CleverComebacks subreddit, a community with 830k members that’s constantly growing, we have laid out some of the most razor-sharp comebacks. Scroll down, upvote the sharpest comebacks and be sure to check out our previous post on witty comebacks.
We also spoke to Abigail Paul, an actress, standup comedian and improviser who has given seminars on incorporating theatre techniques for purposes beyond the stage to schools, businesses and organizations all over Germany since 2001. Abigail told us how to improve our comeback skills, starting from learning to be better listeners. Tune in for the interview below!
This post may include affiliate links.
If You Don't Want To Get Tested, Don't Apply
Morning Coffee vs. Morning People
"Markets Unable To Adapt To New Generation Of Consumers"
I read an article about how most Millennials can't afford high end products for themselves, so many choose to lavish their pets instead. It's cheaper to buy your dog a cute sweater than yourself a cute sweater. Plus, many Millennials can't afford children and are waiting longer than previous generations to start families, so it's all a good reason to indulge the pets.
I work in a pet shop. This is so true. If you can afford to pay for a dog, the licenses, the VET BILLS, etc. you can afford to buy your dog a good brand of food. One where the first ingredient is a protein and NOT barley or 'meal' of some kind. Or just don't have a pet.
I'd love to get my good the good stuff, money isn't the issue. The issue is he's picky and refuses to eat anything except people food.
Load More Replies...
sure, it is problem to have educated customers who do not want to feed their dogs with Purina and similar junk.
I'm not a millennial but I know if I can't live on junk food neither can my pet.
And how about those oil companies doubling down on climate change rather than diversify and change their business model?
Poor major corporations. I shed a tear for their lost profit margins gained by peddling poison
I haven't bought supermarket pet food for years, i get it from companies that only specialize in pet food, not that junk pedigree chum crap.
The markets are adapting just fine... they're punishing the companies that fail to provide what consumers want, and rewarding the ones that do. But if the headline is referring to the trend of giving pets food designed to appeal to a human palate, there is plenty of blame all the way around for a society which is collapsing because an entire generation can't handle raising children so they're pretending their pets are children.
Can't handle raising children? No. Can't afford to? Yes. Feel like it's more responsible for the earth to not have children? Yes. Not wanting to see their own children suffer because of decisions made by previous generations? Yes. Want to enjoy life? Yes. Oh, and we save animals already born, sitting in shelters.
Load More Replies...
Because we actually give a s**t what our animals are eating? For the record, not ONE pet food is 100% natural. All of them contain crap ingredients and it's really sad.
@ Neil Bidle : One word: Religion. Separate the dogmatic religious institutes from State & Law completely and all living creatures may have a more respectfull ending if suffering will be lasting and unbearable.
Load More Replies...
The "baby talk" has been shown to improve dog/owner bonding and has been found that dog respond better to the high pitched talking that comes from baby talk.
Load More Replies...Abigail is now busy launching a new organization for comedy and shows in Frankfurt called “English Comedy Frankfurt,” so be sure to follow her work on Twitter.
“The secret to any comeback is connection,” she said and continued: “If you are really listening (and connecting) with another person, you are taking them in fully, aware of who they are, the context in which you are dealing with this person.”
Abigail believes that we tend do this assessment unconsciously. “We aren't even always aware that we are always sizing up other people. This is too often because we are so focused on ourselves.”
Kid Has A Bright And Shocking Future In Front Of Him
Bill Bur Is A Legend
Some Good Luck!
“I teach the rules and principles of improvisation. We credit the improv guru Keith Johnstone with the term 'status' exercises and games, which helps us see things like status moves, and how to make a character in a scene have a higher or lower status. By working on this skill in a theatrical way, you also start to notice status 'wars' happening in real life. On the stage, it usually has the end effect of being comedic. In real life, it can go either way.”
Who Orders Small Coffee Anyway?
Yeah-sock-it-to-em beautiful. Excellent without using any swear words!
Cry Me A River That Flows 5 M/S²
Stealing The Rainbow
Abigail argues that a great comeback feels great because it was earned. “It was spontaneous. The commenter was probably really listening. It was unique to that moment, set of people, situation,” she explained.
When asked how to make sure that your comeback doesn't sound mean, Abigail warns that “a comeback is not a clapback—which is generally sarcastic, but a clapback might be fun among friends.” Moreover, “Context of situation always matters. In working on status exercises in improv, we try to get people to see that the easiest way to raise another person's status is to lower their own. We see that in standup comedy too. Usually it works best if the comic is the butt of the joke, not the audience. (There are plenty of exceptions.)”
I Choose You, Bunny!!!!
Education Is Vitally Important, After All
Other People’s Kids Is A Surprisingly Great Form Of Birth Control
According to Abigail, “You needn't be too self-effacing for a good comeback, but if it can lift other people up, it usually works well and gains the speaker a laugh and cements the bond that says, we are in this together.”
Comebacks can be a useful communication tool, but Abigail argues that excellent listening skills are the most important thing. “Paying attention, making accurate observations about the people in the room, and how they feel—these are the tools that will make a comeback really shine,” she said.
So Easy To Say
My brother said he'd never put his kids on a leash-backpack before he had kids. Well after my 2-year-old niece booked it through the Tulsa zoo and wanted to pet the animals she was on a leash before noon.
They're With Him, Alright...
Climate Change Is Not Real Guys!!!
And when it comes to getting better at listening, Abigail shared a fun game to exercise. “Have a chat with someone, but you have to start your response with the last letter of what the person has just said to you,” she said and added: “For example, if person 1 says 'what was the best part of your day'—the response must start with Y from the word day.”
“It might make for odd conversations at first, but it also forces you to really listen to the complete end of the person's sentence before you add in your own thoughts,” she concluded.
Careful What You Say
Better Hope His House Doesn't Catch On Fire!
He Makes A Good Point
In a pandemic, churches are NOT essential. Isn't God supposed to be everywhere? You don't need to go to a certain place or building to worship him or pray. You can do this from the safety of your own home. God gave you a brain, use it!
She Got Played By Her Own Words
Can men haters just not exist, that's all I ask at this point. Men are being demonized just as much as straights and whites these days. It's unreal.
Unlimited Power
What is it with this Ben Shapiro dude, like every time I see his name come up on BP thread, I know he's gonna say something ridiculously stupid or offensive.
This Is Genius
If You’ve Read The Bible? Name 10 Plagues
Fishing For A Burn
A Newer, Healthier Brain
Repeat After Me...
They Don't Even Bother Hiding The Fact That The Gop Is Bought And Paid For Anymore
He Got Cremated By A Fish
Time Is Relative... And Mine Ain't Rich
On Insta From An Lgbtq Post From Reddit
I love how people think their boycotting something will single-handedly bring everything crashing down, when in reality they won't even show up as a statistic.
Imagine Losing At Your Own Game
Liking-Old-Pic-Shaming Back Fired...
It's amazing that people will choose to get offended because someone liked something of theirs. How low is humanity sinking this century?
A Lot To Unpack Here
No Lies Were Told
Great Observation, People Who Make A Lot Of Money Don't See The Problem
Funny how some working class fool got into the business of defending billionaires.
What’s The Point!?
Waterproof Your Valuables
Not Really Sure If This Belongs Here But Still
Lady's Got A Point
It's pretentious, but who needs to be told not to sit on their phone while they're out for drinks / a meal??
What An Absolute Chad
Please don't confuse "witty" with "vicious" just because some people (Dorothy Parker, etc.) were both. In many cases, if they weren't so damned hyper-partisan and you happened to agree with their partisanship, you'd just write them off as bitter, vulgar, nasty shitheads. (The funniest thing about the Fish at Pets Mart post is that there is a Fish at Pets Mart account!) In some cases, the burnt are nasty so there's some fair play, but too often the burns amount to, "I hate this person because I disagree with them, so I'm going to act even more hateful!" That's a small mind, not a sharp one.
Some of these aren't bad, but for the most part I've heard wittier comebacks on a grade school playground.
oh shut up your just jealous that you can't meet the intelligence of the comebacks
Load More Replies...
There's a lot of unintelligent remarks & unintelligent comebacks on here! Sometimes it's difficult to tell one from another!
No need to beat around the bush. Just f**k off, you right wing scum.
Load More Replies...
Please don't confuse "witty" with "vicious" just because some people (Dorothy Parker, etc.) were both. In many cases, if they weren't so damned hyper-partisan and you happened to agree with their partisanship, you'd just write them off as bitter, vulgar, nasty shitheads. (The funniest thing about the Fish at Pets Mart post is that there is a Fish at Pets Mart account!) In some cases, the burnt are nasty so there's some fair play, but too often the burns amount to, "I hate this person because I disagree with them, so I'm going to act even more hateful!" That's a small mind, not a sharp one.
Some of these aren't bad, but for the most part I've heard wittier comebacks on a grade school playground.
oh shut up your just jealous that you can't meet the intelligence of the comebacks
Load More Replies... There's a lot of unintelligent remarks & unintelligent comebacks on here! Sometimes it's difficult to tell one from another!
No need to beat around the bush. Just f**k off, you right wing scum.
Load More Replies... 