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Stepping up gives you one sense of accomplishment, but one-upping someone who’s clearly wrong is a whole other achievement. So this post is dedicated to those who didn’t stay silent when hearing false statements, fake news, or faulty arguments, but decided to cut the BS and do everyone a public service.

Thanks to the r/CleverComebacks subreddit, a community with 830k members that’s constantly growing, we have laid out some of the most razor-sharp comebacks. Scroll down, upvote the sharpest comebacks and be sure to check out our previous post on witty comebacks.

We also spoke to Abigail Paul, an actress, standup comedian and improviser who has given seminars on incorporating theatre techniques for purposes beyond the stage to schools, businesses and organizations all over Germany since 2001. Abigail told us how to improve our comeback skills, starting from learning to be better listeners. Tune in for the interview below!

#3

"Markets Unable To Adapt To New Generation Of Consumers"

"Markets Unable To Adapt To New Generation Of Consumers"

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Abigail is now busy launching a new organization for comedy and shows in Frankfurt called “English Comedy Frankfurt,” so be sure to follow her work on Twitter.

“The secret to any comeback is connection,” she said and continued: “If you are really listening (and connecting) with another person, you are taking them in fully, aware of who they are, the context in which you are dealing with this person.”

Abigail believes that we tend do this assessment unconsciously. “We aren't even always aware that we are always sizing up other people. This is too often because we are so focused on ourselves.”

#4

Kid Has A Bright And Shocking Future In Front Of Him

Kid Has A Bright And Shocking Future In Front Of Him

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#6

Some Good Luck!

Some Good Luck!

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PjandBolt
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Michael Rosen is a legend. I'm so glad he lived despite having to deal with that awful experience

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“I teach the rules and principles of improvisation. We credit the improv guru Keith Johnstone with the term 'status' exercises and games, which helps us see things like status moves, and how to make a character in a scene have a higher or lower status. By working on this skill in a theatrical way, you also start to notice status 'wars' happening in real life. On the stage, it usually has the end effect of being comedic. In real life, it can go either way.”

#7

Who Orders Small Coffee Anyway?

Who Orders Small Coffee Anyway?

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Brian Bennett
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah-sock-it-to-em beautiful. Excellent without using any swear words!

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Abigail argues that a great comeback feels great because it was earned. “It was spontaneous. The commenter was probably really listening. It was unique to that moment, set of people, situation,” she explained.

When asked how to make sure that your comeback doesn't sound mean, Abigail warns that “a comeback is not a clapback—which is generally sarcastic, but a clapback might be fun among friends.” Moreover, “Context of situation always matters. In working on status exercises in improv, we try to get people to see that the easiest way to raise another person's status is to lower their own. We see that in standup comedy too. Usually it works best if the comic is the butt of the joke, not the audience. (There are plenty of exceptions.)”

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#10

I Choose You, Bunny!!!!

I Choose You, Bunny!!!!

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#11

Education Is Vitally Important, After All

Education Is Vitally Important, After All

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Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Keith said it all. She is the most stupid together with that tomi twit.

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#12

Other People’s Kids Is A Surprisingly Great Form Of Birth Control

Other People’s Kids Is A Surprisingly Great Form Of Birth Control

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Lynn H
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had my 1 and only child when I was 30. I know for a fact I'm a much better mom than I would have been at an earlier age. I needed to grow up first. But that's just me and my opinion of myself. No kids is ok too.

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A B C
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whoa, now if that was the dominant state of self-consciousness and public opinion, that'd be great.

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CH1990
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always wanted to be a young mum, but the older I get, the happier I am I don't have any children. 100% changed my mind about them (too many people in this world, not a good place for children to grow up, enough worries as it is,, but also life is pretty good :))

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You need a significant other, a proper home, time, money... Oh, and to want to have some, also.

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A. Jones
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm in my 30's, no kids. Just happy with a rabbit and fish.

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Raven DeathShade
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't shame someone for not having kids. If they don't want them, don't force them to have them. That's how you get depressed and terrible parents.

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Terri Owens
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd rather see women/men with no kids, than kids with parents who don't want them. Those are the children who suffer unnecessarily. Think about it... Society has no right to dictate to ANY person whether they should have kids or not.

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Id row
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm about to turn 50 and every day I'm thankful I don't have kids.

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Conny Dickow
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

39, this year, blissfully child free, and finally everyone around me has understood that and stopped pestering me about what a pity that is and what a great mother I'd be and worrying I'm just saying that for the sake of my boyfriend. I'm a very cool godmother^^

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Lena Flising
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll be 52 on Thursday with no kids. Haven't been using birth control since 1998. Sometimes it just doesn't happen.

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Alex Bailey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or in some cases you can spend years using birth control and find you didn't need to. So many variations in life.

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James016
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm 43 and my son is 6. My wife was 34 when she gave birth. There was no rush for us to start a family.

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DarkAngelNic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well with the world at almost 8 billion, resources running out and the world slowly becoming unfit for survival, I think a few people not having kids is quite okay.

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Frankenfrog
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very happy to see the amount of child free people here. You are what the earth needs!

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Springy boi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm never going to have kids because I want to be single until the day I die

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Kitty Jordan
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand that mindset. I could have had a kid at any point; it took me until I was 32 to find someone I wanted to have one with. (And not wanting kids is cool too!).

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That Bored Panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not always a choice to not have kids. Took my mother until 29 to be able to have a child. Doesn't make her or anyone else bad at parenting

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Louloubelle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Clearly the first person doesn't understand that's how birth control works.

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Maria Schneider
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stop speculating about other people's attitude to parenthood. IT'S THEIR THING, NOT YOURS

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kjorn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when i met my wife she didn't want kids. fast forward 10 years later we have 3 and she wanted more but stop it at 3. never say never. you don't know if later in life you'll want kids.

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Dorothy Cloud
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good come back, but there are plenty of dumb & smart people that shouldn't have any children!

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sylvanticx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i want to adopt older children for 2 reasons: older children often don't get adopted, and i would LOVE skipping the toddler/preschooler phase and adopt a middle-schooler. angst i can deal with, temper tantrums and potty training... no.

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Lindsey Judd-Bruder
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom got me a job in the daycare, at the place she worked. I worked there from the ages of 15-17. And even though I wasn't yet sexually active at those ages (I'm an old maid, lost my v-card at 19 lol), it was STILL the best birth control she ever could have put me on!!! 😂😂

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mph seti
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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Bob Belcher
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a choice, just like wearing sock with sandals. Some people may crap all over it, but I don't like my toes cold but I can still feel the wind.

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Michael Se
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being a camp counselor as a teen cured me of ever wanting children.

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NK
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

from 5 different fathers who didn't stick around

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vogonpoet
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had five kids by 28. I understand completely why people don't have kids. Though I love all my kiddos, the first four were born due to having a zealous fanatical religious sociopathic husband who likes to groom younger vunerable women/girls, take them away from their life saving medications, and keep them isolated, barefoot and pregnant. Fortunately all four kids and I escaped and are living free from his dominion. Number #5 was solidly my choice to have another child, and he's amazing, loves his sisters (as they do him), and his dad has been the most amazing person to myself and my girls.

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According to Abigail, “You needn't be too self-effacing for a good comeback, but if it can lift other people up, it usually works well and gains the speaker a laugh and cements the bond that says, we are in this together.”

Comebacks can be a useful communication tool, but Abigail argues that excellent listening skills are the most important thing. “Paying attention, making accurate observations about the people in the room, and how they feel—these are the tools that will make a comeback really shine,” she said.

#13

So Easy To Say

So Easy To Say

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Hello it Smee
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My brother said he'd never put his kids on a leash-backpack before he had kids. Well after my 2-year-old niece booked it through the Tulsa zoo and wanted to pet the animals she was on a leash before noon.

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And when it comes to getting better at listening, Abigail shared a fun game to exercise. “Have a chat with someone, but you have to start your response with the last letter of what the person has just said to you,” she said and added: “For example, if person 1 says 'what was the best part of your day'—the response must start with Y from the word day.”

“It might make for odd conversations at first, but it also forces you to really listen to the complete end of the person's sentence before you add in your own thoughts,” she concluded.

#18

Better Hope His House Doesn't Catch On Fire!

Better Hope His House Doesn't Catch On Fire!

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Ancsuri
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

universal health care is very good. Just Americans think ist something bad

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#19

He Makes A Good Point

He Makes A Good Point

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Raven Sheridan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In a pandemic, churches are NOT essential. Isn't God supposed to be everywhere? You don't need to go to a certain place or building to worship him or pray. You can do this from the safety of your own home. God gave you a brain, use it!

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#20

She Got Played By Her Own Words

She Got Played By Her Own Words

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Everything_Fubar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can men haters just not exist, that's all I ask at this point. Men are being demonized just as much as straights and whites these days. It's unreal.

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#21

Unlimited Power

Unlimited Power

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Seonag Udell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What is it with this Ben Shapiro dude, like every time I see his name come up on BP thread, I know he's gonna say something ridiculously stupid or offensive.

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#22

This Is Genius

This Is Genius

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thebridget
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Except you can't do that with an undergraduate degree in psychology 🙃

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#23

If You’ve Read The Bible? Name 10 Plagues

If You’ve Read The Bible? Name 10 Plagues

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#24

Fishing For A Burn

Fishing For A Burn

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#25

A Newer, Healthier Brain

A Newer, Healthier Brain

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#27

They Don't Even Bother Hiding The Fact That The Gop Is Bought And Paid For Anymore

They Don't Even Bother Hiding The Fact That The Gop Is Bought And Paid For Anymore

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#29

Time Is Relative... And Mine Ain't Rich

Time Is Relative... And Mine Ain't Rich

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#30

On Insta From An Lgbtq Post From Reddit

On Insta From An Lgbtq Post From Reddit

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cybermerlin2000
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love how people think their boycotting something will single-handedly bring everything crashing down, when in reality they won't even show up as a statistic.

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#31

Imagine Losing At Your Own Game

Imagine Losing At Your Own Game

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Ara
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It always pays to read right through the book before you try to review it.

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#32

Liking-Old-Pic-Shaming Back Fired...

Liking-Old-Pic-Shaming Back Fired...

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Tiny Dynamine
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's amazing that people will choose to get offended because someone liked something of theirs. How low is humanity sinking this century?

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#33

A Lot To Unpack Here

A Lot To Unpack Here

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#35

Great Observation, People Who Make A Lot Of Money Don't See The Problem

Great Observation, People Who Make A Lot Of Money Don't See The Problem

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Grumble O'Pug
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Funny how some working class fool got into the business of defending billionaires.

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#37

Waterproof Your Valuables

Waterproof Your Valuables

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A Head
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does this person think that US currency dissolves in water? It can go through the laundry.

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#38

Not Really Sure If This Belongs Here But Still

Not Really Sure If This Belongs Here But Still

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#39

Lady's Got A Point

Lady's Got A Point

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Neil Bidle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's pretentious, but who needs to be told not to sit on their phone while they're out for drinks / a meal??

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