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Woman Upset Her Seatmate Refused To Shut The Window Shade As They Paid Extra $30 For The Window Seat
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Woman Upset Her Seatmate Refused To Shut The Window Shade As They Paid Extra $30 For The Window Seat

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It’s simply fascinating to see social norms develop in highly social situations.

Take riding the bus, for instance. As most buses have the seats situated in pairs, folks first gravitate towards the completely empty ones, and if there are none left, only then do they start populating the ‘second seats’. Because sitting alone is less awkward than next to a complete stranger.

But other social norms are not as clear-cut or obvious to some. Like who owns the window in a window seat on an airplane? Is it something all of the passengers in the aisle can control, or is it exclusively under the jurisdiction of the person in the window seat?

A conflict of interest (if you can call it a conflict per se) regarding a window seat happened not too long ago. It all ended in the conclusion that he who sat at the window shall be in control, but not without turning into an am I being unreasonable? situation first.

More Info: Reddit

Question time. Who’s in control of the window shade—the person in the window seat, or anyone in that row, or…?

Image credits: Tim Gouw (not the actual photo)

We got a short one for you folks.

A Redditor has not too long ago turned to the r/AITA community for some perspective on an issue he faced. In particular, OP enjoys watching the sky and everything around it while on a flight. For this reason, he goes out of his way to get a window seat. Plus the sunshine does wonders for the skin and just feels awesome.

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So, OP was on a plane—one where the seats are situated in rows of 3—and as he approached, he noticed a lady already in one of the seats in his row. For context, his seat was the window one, the middle one was vacant, and the lady was in the seat adjacent to the walkway.

This guy recently had to deal with some snarkiness from a fellow passenger over a window shade after he politely refused to close it

Image credits: ExxoticD

As soon as he asked the lady to scooch a bit for a second so he could reach his seat, she sighed. Sounded like one of those sarcastic I hate it here sighs. OP wasn’t sure why, so he moved on with life.

Not even 10 minutes into the flight, OP was resting his head on the table that pulls down from the front seat, listening to music, enjoying the view and the sun, and the lady tapped him on shoulder and spoke up. She asked if he could shut the window shade.

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Being the sky-gazer that he is, OP politely declined the offer, explaining that the whole reason he bought the window seat (mind you, this luxury cost him an extra $30) was so that he could look out the window. She let out an exaggerated sigh, a huge one.

Image credits: ExxoticD

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Image credits: Jeffry Surianto (not the actual photo)

Now, it is understandable why she asked—OP explained it was a 7AM flight, and the morning sun was right there outside the window, raining hell on every vampire who failed to retreat into a coffin and irritating everyone who’s not a fan.

The whole confrontation ended in OP returning to his music and basking in solar glory for an entire 2 hours. But the lady’s dissatisfaction made him ponder his decision. His view was that he bought the window seat so that he could enjoy the view and all of its gifts. The lady could have done the same. This is besides him paying extra.

And so he passed this question onto the Am I The A-Hole community. And, for the most part, folks did not see anyone being a jerk. Sure, there was some tension, but nobody really overstepped the boundaries. OP was polite, the lady, albeit sarcastic, did not cause a ruckus or overreact. So, nobody’s a jerk.

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Folks online were mostly of the opinion that nobody was a jerk in this situation because nobody really crossed any line

But it did raise the question of who’s actually in control of the window included in the “window seat” deal. According to Ben Schlappig, a frequent flier with over 4.7 million miles flown already, the tl;dr answer to the question is yes, the person in the window seat controls the window.

The long answer, though, is that the concept of a window seat is complex and there are many nuances to consider. The key factor here is what he calls the golden rule: “if the person seated next to you asks politely for the window shade to be lowered, and has a legitimate reason, consider compromising.” Because nobody likes a jerk.

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But there are other factors to consider: getting aggressive and confrontational is the worst idea to have on a plane; sometimes closing the shade is for the greater good because folks want to sleep; sometimes the flight attendant can override your power and just shut it for whatever reason; and sometimes, if the plane is technologically advanced, the windows might dim on their own.

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But back to the story. It got some modest upvotage and attention, but enough to be picked up by a couple of online news sites. You can read it on Reddit, but not without sharing your window seat stories, or your opinions, or the best thing you’ve ever seen through a plane window. Do that in the comment section below!

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karasimpkin avatar
K Ann
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The person who said YTA and the aisle seat should control the aisle ... erm did they person pay an extra 30 for an aisle seat? Guessing no! It's extra for a window and that's why the window belongs to that seat!!!!! Jeeeeez

kristenkidd_1 avatar
shicasey83 avatar
Shiloh Casey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people, like me, have to have it open due to a fear of flying. It helps with anxiety

kristenkidd_1 avatar
𝕜𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟ᴛʜᴇ𝕜𝕚𝕕𝕕
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've said that too once I had to go to Florida and I wanted to see everything that was going on. When I told people that they were like, "wouldn't that make it worse, seeing how high up you are?" Nopen

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kmalliet avatar
Kristin Malliet
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe the other passenger is a vampire, in which case she will burn up in direct sunlight.

elichaffner avatar
Kiss Army
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like to sleep on flights so I bring an eye mask with me to take care of my own comfort. They can do anything with the window shade they want...

just_for_fb_mari avatar
Mari Scott
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Look at you being sensible and personally responsible! Ya love to see it.

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jades avatar
jade s
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think anyone was the AH here. Both were polite, decisions were respected. If I was in the aisle seat and had been up since early hours I probably would have asked as well. If the answer is no then fine but there's no harm in asking. And sighing is a normal response to a frustrating circumstance and doesn't need to be taken as an affront or way to get her own way. It's an "oh gosh, I've had less than 2 hrs sleep, just sat down and now I have to get up again" sigh. Or a sigh of defeat that I thought I might catch up with a little nap but doesn't look like that's happening now. Lastly, would only be the AH if the sun was directly in her eyes. That is bloody uncomfortable and if the case then it wouldn't have taken much for you to pull it down half way and still get some sun yourself with your head on the table in front. I wouldn't be mean enough to subject someone to that because they couldn't afford upgraded seats.

ericyoder avatar
Eric Yoder
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

They make masks to cover ones eyes that she could buy at the dollar store. She sounds republican. They own everything and everyone don't you know?

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martingibbs734 avatar
martin734
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you want to control the window blind pay for a window seat, otherwise use an eye mask.

ugh_what_now avatar
Ugh_What_Now
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, if airlines CHARGE AN ADDITIONAL FEE for the window seat specifically... the question kind of answers itself. The window comes with the seat. Yeah, you don't have to be a d**k about it... but this guy wasn't. So NTA. 🤷‍♀️

jefflum avatar
Jeff Lum
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

The fee isn't for a window seat. The fee is for the ability to choose a specific seat.

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vandahamilton9 avatar
Deidre Goodluck
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As far as I'm concerned if it's daytime the window stays open. It really annoys me when cabin staff force everyone to pull the blind down because they want people to sleep or whatever. I want natural light when it's available. If you want to sleep wear an eye mask.

ldmonteith avatar
Key Lime
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I pay extra for a window seat so that I can see out the window, have a surface to lean against if I fall asleep and mostly not to have to get up every time one of my seat mates needs to get up.

aislingraye avatar
Aisling Raye
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Has no one heard of plane etiquette? Window seat gets window and one arm rest, middle gets two arm rests, aisle gets one arm rest and maybe a bit of extra leg room. The lady that asked about the window was fine in doing so but the gal with the window seat was well within her right to say no. This is so easily a NAH situation.

hhhcubed avatar
hhh cubed
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you! I am surprised that this isn't widely understood flight etiquette. It seems common sense and not unreasonable.

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nicopristine avatar
JustJackie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Couldn't she just wear one of those eye masks, or whatever they're called. Nta, he paid extra to sit by the window. If it was that important to her, then she should have also paid for a window seat. She didn't so *shrug*

geth1138 avatar
Impetus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really like looking out the window of a plane, and I really, really hate passive aggressive "I'm not content with you so I'll sigh really hard so you know I don't like you" stuff. He could have chosen to compromise, although he certainly wasn't obliged to, and he may have if she hadn't been such a pill about everything. Planes are like big giant expensive buses in the sky. I'm so glad I don't travel that way often.

cecilyholland avatar
Cecily Holland
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was a 3 hour flight so NTA. She asked you denied. That’s that. It would be different if it was a long haul flight and lights were out or whatever. Different etiquette for different flight lengths

savannahyoung avatar
S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like the close it half way comment. It significantly diminishes the light beaming into the plane and if you're already resting your head on the tray table then the lower half being open should give plenty of sunlight to bathe in, I would think. Either way, I'm torn. You can ask someone to do something for you but you have to be ok with them saying no. On the other hand, I don't think the window seat gets FULL control of the window that seems silly. I don't believe that is an unwritten rule that everyone follows.

just_for_fb_mari avatar
Mari Scott
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They paid extra for it so unless they are being reimbursed for a portion, it's theirs. Even if it was free, I love to look at every bit of this planet I can, so opening part way won't work. The aisle lady needed to bring a sleep mask, 7 AM isn't that early, & not every plane is a hotel. Overnight flights when I can't see anything out the window, sure, let's close the windows and sleep. But not a daytime flight.

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coreysmith avatar
Corey Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She put her head on the table? Isn't that one of the most disgusting surfaces on a plane?

petemccann avatar
DrBronxx
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would never ask anyone to close the window, but if I'm the one by the window (on short flights), and the sunrise is coming directly through the window, I always close it. I'm not the only one there, and the way I see it, people are more likely going to be bothered by light in their eyes than the closed window. Flying is often an uncomfortable experience, and I'd rather everyone be as comfortable as possible.

ladyfirerose avatar
Vira
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A closed window gives me anxiety. You can't accommodate everyone. It's a daytime flight. A little sun won't kill them.

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marcuslynch avatar
Marcus Lynch
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get sick on planes without being able to see the movement I'm feeling. I'd have done the same thing. Tell grumpy Karen to get some $5 eye shades and shut up.

travellingtrainer avatar
Hey!
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The staff is in control of the shades and lights. It depends on a lot of things, one being the time and if you're switching time zones. I think it also has to do with take-off and landing. You didn't pay to get control of the shade, you paid to get extra space. The one in the middle has no space per se for the body, but could have some for the legs. You get both when you get the aisle or the window. You also paid for where the seat is situated in the plane (near exits, etc.). It think it could have been handled better, going half-and-half usually solves the problem for everyone, not just your co-seaters, but the whole row too.

deidrewestover avatar
Deidre Westover
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why the world is going to s**t. No one is ever willing to do anything for the benefit of someone else. They could have compromised, like having it partway down, or putting it down, and then raising it once they were in a different position in relation to the sun. Why does everything have to be all or nothing?

kristakozak avatar
Magpie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why did the lady in the other seat ask for OP to close it then? Why didn't she ask for just halfway, to accommodate OP'S desire for the sun? The lady in the aisle seat was rude from the start. Maybe if she adjusted her attitude and phrased her requests differently, she might not spend her next flight in blinding sunlight. Also, if you are booking a 7am flight and can't control the sun, don't choose a seat on the east side of the plane.

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marthavazquez avatar
Martha Vazquez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NAH. She is the AH, because you supposed to ask politely, by say please can you close the shade, and when he said No, she should just keep quiet with no Rude reaction. Weather it’s 1 second or 15 minute, she AH.

randyperez avatar
Randy Perez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like the half closed approach. Thankfully I'm a sleeper, so I always warn my fellow passengers and give them permission to wake me up for anything including me snoring too loud. Communication is key to not annoy people.

kristakozak avatar
Magpie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same, except the snoring bit - I'm too excited when flying to sleep properly. I try to be mindful that all of us poor people crammed into steerage only have so much space and can't escape one another. I dream of first class.

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jacoburiel avatar
Jacob Uriel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know, I love keeping it open. But on an overnight redeye, it might make sense to have a cheap dislosable eye mask to give out. I found 30 for 9.99 on ebay, indiv. Wrapped Eye Mask Sleep Masks Sleeping Mask Blindfold Eye Cover Team Building Games Party with Nose Pad and Adjustable Strap for Women Men Kids 4 Layers Black (30 Pack) https://a.co/d/dBakIc7

just_for_fb_mari avatar
Mari Scott
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Last time I flew I brought one from Dollar Tree to give to anyone that might be affected by the window my Brother and I were looking out of.

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babysmiles56 avatar
Tricia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone who gets migraines from the sun, it hurts my eyes. I hate when people dont pull the shade down so I try to get the window seats to avoid this. If its not possible I just wear my sunglasses. I dont think either are TA here unless she kept on grumping about it. It doesn't sound like it's the case. The OP just explained why he wouldn't close it but he was totally within his rights to do so. He doesn't sound like he was being a d**k about it either.

rickmills_1 avatar
rick mills
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

definitely nta….the karen should have brought a sleep mask or purchased her own window seat🤷‍♂️

tlcraftj avatar
Jake Wheeler
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What about Bluetooth? Can't window guy put his phone in the window, close the shade with his phone on the window side, then Bluetooth the view to his tablet? And then the lady says can you put a paper over your tablet.

kristenkidd_1 avatar
𝕜𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟ᴛʜᴇ𝕜𝕚𝕕𝕕
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm having trouble understanding why this is even a AITA post... One asked a question, the other answered. They were right to say no, but the person asking wasn't wrong for asking. Didn't seem like she made a scene or even say a word after "okay great", which probably would've been my response too if the sunrise was shining right in my face.

kristakozak avatar
Magpie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the repeated sighing made OP feel like they were doing something wrong. Someone on here said sighing is just a normal reaction to frustration, but it is really a passive-aggressive way to let someone know you're unhappy with them or that they aren't welcome. I've yet to hear someone sigh at something someone else said or did that wasn't meant in a bitchy way. For the most part, the encounter was fine. I think the initial sigh when OP needed to sit down was rude and unnecessary. I would have taken it to mean that she was not happy to have someone sit in her row, and that would have colored every interaction with her for the rest of the flight.

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steve_yyz_cuba avatar
Stephen Liard
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a private pilot and always get a window seat. I simply enjoy the stunning view and on many flights even know exactly where we are just by watching the ground. Not a hope in hades I'd close the shade.

korbendallas avatar
Korben Dallas
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a window seat for my flight to Florida, B767 with the 2-3-2 configuration, lady seated next to me ask if I would switch seats so her friend could sit next to her. The nerve, if they wanted to sit together they should have paid for that option.

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jackmayhoffer avatar
Jack Mayhoffer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The person might of been uncomfortable with heights or flying... They might of sat near aisle to feel safer... I always get the window seat, love take offs and decents and always get one. But I always ask the person next to me their preference, I would say most say closed, so I leave it closed and plug in a movie or play a game. You may never meet that person again, but you made them happy.

lauramandadocacho avatar
Laura Mandado Cacho
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't see the problem with the open sade, if se wanted to avoid the sun se just had to bring an eye mask

anniesteele avatar
Annie Steele
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not even sure why this is even here, she politely asked a question, you politely declined and the matter is over.

basedwang avatar
BasedWang12.3
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The person laying on the table is TA but only for the person in front of her. Them tables are connected to someone's seat. I always get a window seat and I DGAF if you like it or not, im lookin out it or sleepin on it.

dpopknight avatar
Diane Knight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is someone making something out of a 'nothing burger'? As mentioned 'she asked , you declined and no further dialog on that subject.

korbendallas avatar
Korben Dallas
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They definitely are TA for resting your head on a tray table, that's not what it was designed for. I bet the also take their shoes off and put their feet between the side panel and the chair in front of them.

timetravelingarchaeologist avatar
Miriah Helen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess I'd have probably split the difference. I often do when I want some light, but don't want to blind the poor people in the same row, I pull the shade down halfway and then I still get my light. But I don't really feel like the person who declined the request did anything wrong necessarily, theyjust didn't go out of their way, which they weren't required to do.

jlham1959 avatar
Julie Ham
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I fly really early in the morning or around sundown, I consider which dude of the plane the sun will shine in, and try to get a window on the opposite side of the plane. I love looking out the window too, but the bright light hurts my eyes. That lady should probably learn to do the same. Perhaps if she'd been less passive aggressive, she might have gotten at least a partial closure of the shade. I once day next to a woman her toddler son. Wasn't happy about it. Then heard other passengers around me griping about it. Do decided to try to help the mother keep the boy entertained.. He was at the age where kids like to up and moving. So, he fused a bit. But it was much more pleassnt than if It's decided to be grump about it. Air travel is a make-do situation at best. Seems like the sighing lady decided to be annoyed before she even got to the airport.

kimberlymarino avatar
Kimberly Marino
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She could have put an eye mask on. He cannot see thru a closed window shade.

janefarris avatar
SC_SJF
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so stupid. If I paid a premium for the seat, then the window is mine. I’ve posted this before, but the airlines create these situations. Nickel and dimming is for everything! Just wait until they start charging for the toilet! Hate the airlines, not the passengers.

janetzanotti avatar
Janet Zanotti
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry you had to put up with a couple of sighs so NTA. However, that you "signaled" for her to rise so you could get to your seat appeals me. We're you in such a hurry to gaze out your window you couldn't say excuse me and maybe offer a small greeting. For that, you are AAA.

andreawellman avatar
Andrea Wellman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good catch. I'm not sure others caught this. I didn't even think about the signaling vs. "Hi, this is my row too, excuse me" maneuver. I would have not just signed but made that "who do you think you are" and "what the f" noise and face. (I'm assuming you meant appals, which autocorrect probably changed. As clearly, I too find it mighty appalling.)

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mfroeba85 avatar
M F
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Largely a no big deal interaction but two notes. What was this hand signal to have her stand up? You think she can't understand without a hand gesture? Before they sighed, you started with a micro aggression. You fired first. 2nd, if your head is on the table you could have half lowered the shade, given a little to still keep a lot: Sun and peace in the isle.

kerry-mccollough avatar
tecolote
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. The window seat is my favorite but I'm inclined to ask if anyone is bothered. But that's me.

ed209sect31 avatar
Don't tread on me
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd reply sorry i don't speak English in a very American accent. Lol

boredpanda1_3 avatar
Becky Samuel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sick of BoredPanda reposting AITA and repackaging it under a clickbait headline. If I wanted to be on reddit I'd be on reddit. Once in a while maybe, but there's about 6 in a row in my main feed today. Could they get any lazier?

sin_1 avatar
butt soup
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

just scroll past. or maybe you *should* go to reddit & join subreddits that align with your interests so your feed always has what you want ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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randombard avatar
Robin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Short flights no problems with the blind being up. Long haul if you have the blind up you are a monster.

stacyh avatar
30_Helens_Agree
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was on a 10 hour flight last weekend, entirely daylight due to the direction we were flying, and someone left their shade up the entire time. Even during the hours they dimmed all the cabin lights. I know they were well within their rights to do so, but for me, I would have noticed if I were the only one on the entire plane with my window shade up.

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mariamandjik295 avatar
Maria Mandjik
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Personally you could have brought the shade halfway down otherwise you kind inconveniencing other people.

suppilovahvero avatar
Suppilo Vahvero
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The title of the article is stupid. "They"? Use "he", "she" or something else. Using "they" is a stupid grammatical choice, which is ambiguous and harmful to the clarity of the title at best, and possibly grammatical incorrect.

kristakozak avatar
Magpie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The gender of the OP has zero impact on this article, therefore the use of they rather than a gender-specific pronoun is only an issue for you.

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itzcordeliasparklz avatar
Ember Sparks
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay, I don't think either of them are "TA", but OP should realize that (he/she/they) don't have entire control of the window because (he/she/they) paid extra for it. Everyone in the row should have a say in what they think they should be done, and have a defense as to why they think that way and then share with others why they think that, which I believe would lead to fewer arguments/fights about this in the future.

jefflum avatar
Jeff Lum
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

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If you are on public transport and you are doing something that bothers or disturbs others, are made aware of it, and continue doing so, you are an a*****e. There are very few justifications and "I paid for a window seat" isn't one of them. He didn't pay for a "window seat", they don't cost extra. He paid for the ability to choose his seat. This includes distance from the front for getting off the plane sooner, being in/near an emergency exit row, and proximity to the loud a*s jet engines. Window or aisle is only a small part of that choice and no, the window seat person doesn't "control the shade", just like the aisle person doesn't "control the aisle". Blows my mind how little common courtesy people have these days on public transport.

kristakozak avatar
Magpie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And he chose a window seat which, whether you like it or not, controls the shade. A row of seats isn't a f*****g democracy where we all vote what to do with the shade. Whomever is sitting in the window seat does what they like with the shade. Everyone else can ask for something different, but they've got no real say.

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K Ann
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The person who said YTA and the aisle seat should control the aisle ... erm did they person pay an extra 30 for an aisle seat? Guessing no! It's extra for a window and that's why the window belongs to that seat!!!!! Jeeeeez

kristenkidd_1 avatar
shicasey83 avatar
Shiloh Casey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people, like me, have to have it open due to a fear of flying. It helps with anxiety

kristenkidd_1 avatar
𝕜𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟ᴛʜᴇ𝕜𝕚𝕕𝕕
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've said that too once I had to go to Florida and I wanted to see everything that was going on. When I told people that they were like, "wouldn't that make it worse, seeing how high up you are?" Nopen

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kmalliet avatar
Kristin Malliet
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe the other passenger is a vampire, in which case she will burn up in direct sunlight.

elichaffner avatar
Kiss Army
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like to sleep on flights so I bring an eye mask with me to take care of my own comfort. They can do anything with the window shade they want...

just_for_fb_mari avatar
Mari Scott
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Look at you being sensible and personally responsible! Ya love to see it.

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jades avatar
jade s
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think anyone was the AH here. Both were polite, decisions were respected. If I was in the aisle seat and had been up since early hours I probably would have asked as well. If the answer is no then fine but there's no harm in asking. And sighing is a normal response to a frustrating circumstance and doesn't need to be taken as an affront or way to get her own way. It's an "oh gosh, I've had less than 2 hrs sleep, just sat down and now I have to get up again" sigh. Or a sigh of defeat that I thought I might catch up with a little nap but doesn't look like that's happening now. Lastly, would only be the AH if the sun was directly in her eyes. That is bloody uncomfortable and if the case then it wouldn't have taken much for you to pull it down half way and still get some sun yourself with your head on the table in front. I wouldn't be mean enough to subject someone to that because they couldn't afford upgraded seats.

ericyoder avatar
Eric Yoder
Community Member
1 year ago

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They make masks to cover ones eyes that she could buy at the dollar store. She sounds republican. They own everything and everyone don't you know?

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martingibbs734 avatar
martin734
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you want to control the window blind pay for a window seat, otherwise use an eye mask.

ugh_what_now avatar
Ugh_What_Now
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, if airlines CHARGE AN ADDITIONAL FEE for the window seat specifically... the question kind of answers itself. The window comes with the seat. Yeah, you don't have to be a d**k about it... but this guy wasn't. So NTA. 🤷‍♀️

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Jeff Lum
Community Member
1 year ago

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The fee isn't for a window seat. The fee is for the ability to choose a specific seat.

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vandahamilton9 avatar
Deidre Goodluck
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As far as I'm concerned if it's daytime the window stays open. It really annoys me when cabin staff force everyone to pull the blind down because they want people to sleep or whatever. I want natural light when it's available. If you want to sleep wear an eye mask.

ldmonteith avatar
Key Lime
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I pay extra for a window seat so that I can see out the window, have a surface to lean against if I fall asleep and mostly not to have to get up every time one of my seat mates needs to get up.

aislingraye avatar
Aisling Raye
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Has no one heard of plane etiquette? Window seat gets window and one arm rest, middle gets two arm rests, aisle gets one arm rest and maybe a bit of extra leg room. The lady that asked about the window was fine in doing so but the gal with the window seat was well within her right to say no. This is so easily a NAH situation.

hhhcubed avatar
hhh cubed
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you! I am surprised that this isn't widely understood flight etiquette. It seems common sense and not unreasonable.

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nicopristine avatar
JustJackie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Couldn't she just wear one of those eye masks, or whatever they're called. Nta, he paid extra to sit by the window. If it was that important to her, then she should have also paid for a window seat. She didn't so *shrug*

geth1138 avatar
Impetus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really like looking out the window of a plane, and I really, really hate passive aggressive "I'm not content with you so I'll sigh really hard so you know I don't like you" stuff. He could have chosen to compromise, although he certainly wasn't obliged to, and he may have if she hadn't been such a pill about everything. Planes are like big giant expensive buses in the sky. I'm so glad I don't travel that way often.

cecilyholland avatar
Cecily Holland
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was a 3 hour flight so NTA. She asked you denied. That’s that. It would be different if it was a long haul flight and lights were out or whatever. Different etiquette for different flight lengths

savannahyoung avatar
S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like the close it half way comment. It significantly diminishes the light beaming into the plane and if you're already resting your head on the tray table then the lower half being open should give plenty of sunlight to bathe in, I would think. Either way, I'm torn. You can ask someone to do something for you but you have to be ok with them saying no. On the other hand, I don't think the window seat gets FULL control of the window that seems silly. I don't believe that is an unwritten rule that everyone follows.

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Mari Scott
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They paid extra for it so unless they are being reimbursed for a portion, it's theirs. Even if it was free, I love to look at every bit of this planet I can, so opening part way won't work. The aisle lady needed to bring a sleep mask, 7 AM isn't that early, & not every plane is a hotel. Overnight flights when I can't see anything out the window, sure, let's close the windows and sleep. But not a daytime flight.

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Corey Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She put her head on the table? Isn't that one of the most disgusting surfaces on a plane?

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DrBronxx
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would never ask anyone to close the window, but if I'm the one by the window (on short flights), and the sunrise is coming directly through the window, I always close it. I'm not the only one there, and the way I see it, people are more likely going to be bothered by light in their eyes than the closed window. Flying is often an uncomfortable experience, and I'd rather everyone be as comfortable as possible.

ladyfirerose avatar
Vira
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A closed window gives me anxiety. You can't accommodate everyone. It's a daytime flight. A little sun won't kill them.

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marcuslynch avatar
Marcus Lynch
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get sick on planes without being able to see the movement I'm feeling. I'd have done the same thing. Tell grumpy Karen to get some $5 eye shades and shut up.

travellingtrainer avatar
Hey!
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The staff is in control of the shades and lights. It depends on a lot of things, one being the time and if you're switching time zones. I think it also has to do with take-off and landing. You didn't pay to get control of the shade, you paid to get extra space. The one in the middle has no space per se for the body, but could have some for the legs. You get both when you get the aisle or the window. You also paid for where the seat is situated in the plane (near exits, etc.). It think it could have been handled better, going half-and-half usually solves the problem for everyone, not just your co-seaters, but the whole row too.

deidrewestover avatar
Deidre Westover
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why the world is going to s**t. No one is ever willing to do anything for the benefit of someone else. They could have compromised, like having it partway down, or putting it down, and then raising it once they were in a different position in relation to the sun. Why does everything have to be all or nothing?

kristakozak avatar
Magpie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why did the lady in the other seat ask for OP to close it then? Why didn't she ask for just halfway, to accommodate OP'S desire for the sun? The lady in the aisle seat was rude from the start. Maybe if she adjusted her attitude and phrased her requests differently, she might not spend her next flight in blinding sunlight. Also, if you are booking a 7am flight and can't control the sun, don't choose a seat on the east side of the plane.

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marthavazquez avatar
Martha Vazquez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NAH. She is the AH, because you supposed to ask politely, by say please can you close the shade, and when he said No, she should just keep quiet with no Rude reaction. Weather it’s 1 second or 15 minute, she AH.

randyperez avatar
Randy Perez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like the half closed approach. Thankfully I'm a sleeper, so I always warn my fellow passengers and give them permission to wake me up for anything including me snoring too loud. Communication is key to not annoy people.

kristakozak avatar
Magpie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same, except the snoring bit - I'm too excited when flying to sleep properly. I try to be mindful that all of us poor people crammed into steerage only have so much space and can't escape one another. I dream of first class.

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jacoburiel avatar
Jacob Uriel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know, I love keeping it open. But on an overnight redeye, it might make sense to have a cheap dislosable eye mask to give out. I found 30 for 9.99 on ebay, indiv. Wrapped Eye Mask Sleep Masks Sleeping Mask Blindfold Eye Cover Team Building Games Party with Nose Pad and Adjustable Strap for Women Men Kids 4 Layers Black (30 Pack) https://a.co/d/dBakIc7

just_for_fb_mari avatar
Mari Scott
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Last time I flew I brought one from Dollar Tree to give to anyone that might be affected by the window my Brother and I were looking out of.

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babysmiles56 avatar
Tricia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone who gets migraines from the sun, it hurts my eyes. I hate when people dont pull the shade down so I try to get the window seats to avoid this. If its not possible I just wear my sunglasses. I dont think either are TA here unless she kept on grumping about it. It doesn't sound like it's the case. The OP just explained why he wouldn't close it but he was totally within his rights to do so. He doesn't sound like he was being a d**k about it either.

rickmills_1 avatar
rick mills
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

definitely nta….the karen should have brought a sleep mask or purchased her own window seat🤷‍♂️

tlcraftj avatar
Jake Wheeler
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What about Bluetooth? Can't window guy put his phone in the window, close the shade with his phone on the window side, then Bluetooth the view to his tablet? And then the lady says can you put a paper over your tablet.

kristenkidd_1 avatar
𝕜𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟ᴛʜᴇ𝕜𝕚𝕕𝕕
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm having trouble understanding why this is even a AITA post... One asked a question, the other answered. They were right to say no, but the person asking wasn't wrong for asking. Didn't seem like she made a scene or even say a word after "okay great", which probably would've been my response too if the sunrise was shining right in my face.

kristakozak avatar
Magpie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the repeated sighing made OP feel like they were doing something wrong. Someone on here said sighing is just a normal reaction to frustration, but it is really a passive-aggressive way to let someone know you're unhappy with them or that they aren't welcome. I've yet to hear someone sigh at something someone else said or did that wasn't meant in a bitchy way. For the most part, the encounter was fine. I think the initial sigh when OP needed to sit down was rude and unnecessary. I would have taken it to mean that she was not happy to have someone sit in her row, and that would have colored every interaction with her for the rest of the flight.

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Stephen Liard
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a private pilot and always get a window seat. I simply enjoy the stunning view and on many flights even know exactly where we are just by watching the ground. Not a hope in hades I'd close the shade.

korbendallas avatar
Korben Dallas
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a window seat for my flight to Florida, B767 with the 2-3-2 configuration, lady seated next to me ask if I would switch seats so her friend could sit next to her. The nerve, if they wanted to sit together they should have paid for that option.

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jackmayhoffer avatar
Jack Mayhoffer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The person might of been uncomfortable with heights or flying... They might of sat near aisle to feel safer... I always get the window seat, love take offs and decents and always get one. But I always ask the person next to me their preference, I would say most say closed, so I leave it closed and plug in a movie or play a game. You may never meet that person again, but you made them happy.

lauramandadocacho avatar
Laura Mandado Cacho
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't see the problem with the open sade, if se wanted to avoid the sun se just had to bring an eye mask

anniesteele avatar
Annie Steele
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not even sure why this is even here, she politely asked a question, you politely declined and the matter is over.

basedwang avatar
BasedWang12.3
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The person laying on the table is TA but only for the person in front of her. Them tables are connected to someone's seat. I always get a window seat and I DGAF if you like it or not, im lookin out it or sleepin on it.

dpopknight avatar
Diane Knight
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is someone making something out of a 'nothing burger'? As mentioned 'she asked , you declined and no further dialog on that subject.

korbendallas avatar
Korben Dallas
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They definitely are TA for resting your head on a tray table, that's not what it was designed for. I bet the also take their shoes off and put their feet between the side panel and the chair in front of them.

timetravelingarchaeologist avatar
Miriah Helen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess I'd have probably split the difference. I often do when I want some light, but don't want to blind the poor people in the same row, I pull the shade down halfway and then I still get my light. But I don't really feel like the person who declined the request did anything wrong necessarily, theyjust didn't go out of their way, which they weren't required to do.

jlham1959 avatar
Julie Ham
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I fly really early in the morning or around sundown, I consider which dude of the plane the sun will shine in, and try to get a window on the opposite side of the plane. I love looking out the window too, but the bright light hurts my eyes. That lady should probably learn to do the same. Perhaps if she'd been less passive aggressive, she might have gotten at least a partial closure of the shade. I once day next to a woman her toddler son. Wasn't happy about it. Then heard other passengers around me griping about it. Do decided to try to help the mother keep the boy entertained.. He was at the age where kids like to up and moving. So, he fused a bit. But it was much more pleassnt than if It's decided to be grump about it. Air travel is a make-do situation at best. Seems like the sighing lady decided to be annoyed before she even got to the airport.

kimberlymarino avatar
Kimberly Marino
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She could have put an eye mask on. He cannot see thru a closed window shade.

janefarris avatar
SC_SJF
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so stupid. If I paid a premium for the seat, then the window is mine. I’ve posted this before, but the airlines create these situations. Nickel and dimming is for everything! Just wait until they start charging for the toilet! Hate the airlines, not the passengers.

janetzanotti avatar
Janet Zanotti
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry you had to put up with a couple of sighs so NTA. However, that you "signaled" for her to rise so you could get to your seat appeals me. We're you in such a hurry to gaze out your window you couldn't say excuse me and maybe offer a small greeting. For that, you are AAA.

andreawellman avatar
Andrea Wellman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good catch. I'm not sure others caught this. I didn't even think about the signaling vs. "Hi, this is my row too, excuse me" maneuver. I would have not just signed but made that "who do you think you are" and "what the f" noise and face. (I'm assuming you meant appals, which autocorrect probably changed. As clearly, I too find it mighty appalling.)

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mfroeba85 avatar
M F
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Largely a no big deal interaction but two notes. What was this hand signal to have her stand up? You think she can't understand without a hand gesture? Before they sighed, you started with a micro aggression. You fired first. 2nd, if your head is on the table you could have half lowered the shade, given a little to still keep a lot: Sun and peace in the isle.

kerry-mccollough avatar
tecolote
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. The window seat is my favorite but I'm inclined to ask if anyone is bothered. But that's me.

ed209sect31 avatar
Don't tread on me
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd reply sorry i don't speak English in a very American accent. Lol

boredpanda1_3 avatar
Becky Samuel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sick of BoredPanda reposting AITA and repackaging it under a clickbait headline. If I wanted to be on reddit I'd be on reddit. Once in a while maybe, but there's about 6 in a row in my main feed today. Could they get any lazier?

sin_1 avatar
butt soup
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

just scroll past. or maybe you *should* go to reddit & join subreddits that align with your interests so your feed always has what you want ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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randombard avatar
Robin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Short flights no problems with the blind being up. Long haul if you have the blind up you are a monster.

stacyh avatar
30_Helens_Agree
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was on a 10 hour flight last weekend, entirely daylight due to the direction we were flying, and someone left their shade up the entire time. Even during the hours they dimmed all the cabin lights. I know they were well within their rights to do so, but for me, I would have noticed if I were the only one on the entire plane with my window shade up.

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mariamandjik295 avatar
Maria Mandjik
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Personally you could have brought the shade halfway down otherwise you kind inconveniencing other people.

suppilovahvero avatar
Suppilo Vahvero
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The title of the article is stupid. "They"? Use "he", "she" or something else. Using "they" is a stupid grammatical choice, which is ambiguous and harmful to the clarity of the title at best, and possibly grammatical incorrect.

kristakozak avatar
Magpie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The gender of the OP has zero impact on this article, therefore the use of they rather than a gender-specific pronoun is only an issue for you.

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itzcordeliasparklz avatar
Ember Sparks
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay, I don't think either of them are "TA", but OP should realize that (he/she/they) don't have entire control of the window because (he/she/they) paid extra for it. Everyone in the row should have a say in what they think they should be done, and have a defense as to why they think that way and then share with others why they think that, which I believe would lead to fewer arguments/fights about this in the future.

jefflum avatar
Jeff Lum
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

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If you are on public transport and you are doing something that bothers or disturbs others, are made aware of it, and continue doing so, you are an a*****e. There are very few justifications and "I paid for a window seat" isn't one of them. He didn't pay for a "window seat", they don't cost extra. He paid for the ability to choose his seat. This includes distance from the front for getting off the plane sooner, being in/near an emergency exit row, and proximity to the loud a*s jet engines. Window or aisle is only a small part of that choice and no, the window seat person doesn't "control the shade", just like the aisle person doesn't "control the aisle". Blows my mind how little common courtesy people have these days on public transport.

kristakozak avatar
Magpie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And he chose a window seat which, whether you like it or not, controls the shade. A row of seats isn't a f*****g democracy where we all vote what to do with the shade. Whomever is sitting in the window seat does what they like with the shade. Everyone else can ask for something different, but they've got no real say.

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