Couple Set Up Separate Finances, Wife Ends Up Leaving Husband At Restaurant After He Can’t Afford To Pay For His Part Of Dinner
While getting married is certainly one of the most joyous and exciting things that can happen in a person’s life, it is also one of those things that requires a lot of planning and even more so talking.
Through talks, you set ground rules and boundaries for your relationship: how things will be done and handled in your family and household. And this includes everything from values and beliefs to more practical things like living space boundaries and finances. Focus is on the latter for this story.
One Reddit user shared a story of how she walked out of paying for her husband’s meal and he was hella upset when there was an explicit agreement that each would keep their finances separate, asking the internet if she was wrong to do so.
More Info: Reddit
Splitting the bill at a restaurant doesn’t have to be awkward if you set ground rules, but even that may cause problems like it did for this Reddit user
Image credits: Dagny Mol
Reddit user u/420BAGIRL went to the r/AmITheA-hole community with a question: AITA for refusing to pay for my husband’s meal at the restaurant?
Context time. The two—a secretary and a police officer—have been married for 4 months. At this point, they have agreed that they will pay for everything equally, but otherwise have their own salaries and spend them however they want.
All of this is in light of the fact that the husband is “bad with money”, meaning that he doesn’t plan his finances and lives in the moment when it comes to spending it. The couple had a talk about a possible joint account, but it seemed like a bad idea to the hubby.
This wife turned to the AITA community for perspective in figuring out if she was wrong to not pay for her husband’s meal
Image credits: u/420BAGIRL
So, one evening, the two go out for dinner—the husband orders a feast compared to the average eater—and now comes the time for the check. Considering their agreement of keeping everything apart from some necessities separate, the wife asks for two separate bills. The husband is surprised.
You see, he had already spent his money before coming to the restaurant and hence had nothing to pay with. After presumptuously asking her if she was going to pay for him given the circumstances, he got upset as she declined, saying it was his decision that each of them pay for everything individually—that is what separate finances means. And then she walked out on him, leaving him stranded with his half of the bill.
Image credits: u/420BAGIRL
His buddy ended up coming over and paying, confronting the wife, saying she shouldn’t have been mean to him and should’ve paid for his half (a bigger half, mind you) of the meal, demanding she apologize.
For the most part, people online said that the wife is not wrong here—an agreement is an agreement and it should be respected. Moreover, they argued that the husband was financially abusive and this type of behavior cannot be fed by throwing money at it. Lastly, a lot pointed out that their relationship doesn’t sound healthy and might end in divorce.
While most considered the wife in the clear, some called both sides bad guys for several reasons
However, there were also those who pulled the ESH card—everyone sucks here—meaning that even though the husband was wrong to assume he’d be paid for and threw all of his money away beforehand, the wife didn’t act all that wifey by leaving her husband stranded like that. Also, some said that she should have known better before marrying the guy—finances should be talked about before marriage.
Regardless of opinions, the post received nearly 10,000 upvotes and a handful of Reddit awards. This is besides making headlines on some media websites.
You can check out the post and people’s responses in full here, but before you dash, let us know your thoughts on this situation in the comment section below!
I don't really get where the husband is coming from. They agreed on both paying for their own stuff. What makes him assume she is gonna pay for his food?? He wants to be independent - so he has to pay for his own food. I mean grow tf up.
Malik Saleem Khan won't pay for my dinner :( c'mon Malik you make $12000 a second online and can't buy me food
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A guy that has a job like that, he should have money for dinner. Save some money and stop buying guns. And she tried to show him how he's robbing her. He a cop that's not right to be a thief too
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He sounds like he's got the money management skills of a spoilt teenager. Good luck with that!
Yes. This marriage us doomed. If she tries to set limits, he will call her "controlling", if she tries to stop him spending her money he'll call her "selfish", etc. She should cut her losses and get out before he can really wreck her finances.
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NTA in my opinion. He was the one who wanted seperate finances but then expects his wife to pay for his meal. Why did he even go to a restaurant when he knew he didn't have any money? He should have asked his wife before even going out if she would help him out. Then everything would have been fine. Also I don't think this will work in the long run if he keeps spending his money irresponsibly. Will he always expect his wife to pay when he runs out of money? What will happen when kids come into the picture (in case they want to have kids)? He comes off really immature as far as I can tell from this post.
How did the husband survive before they married? He must have had to pay for rent, utilities, food etc. Perhaps he lived with his parent/parents and sponged off them. Any grown man who does that should have been avoided like the plague.
Why did they get married fi they can't even agree on how to budget their household expenses? That's probably the second thing Hubby & I did after he asked me to marry him. We ended up agreeing that any amount over X meant a discussion, no matter what the item was, and it saved us a ton of trouble in a lot of ways.
Only one question. Why would you marry such a man child, because this level of industrial-grade stupidity translates into other things too. Imagine them having kids. She is f****d. Moreover, the guy is a cop. But I guess, in the U.S. they recruit complete morons in the police force. It shows.
I don't think she's ESH because she called his bluff. It was very petty of her to leave him stranded. But she will need to make her point sooner or later, because what's his is his and what's hers is his, as far as he's concerned. Did you all catch he makes TWICE what she does? The real problem is selfishness and unwillingness to accommodate the other, btw
This is one of several reasons my first relationship went out the window. It took longer, almost four years, because I didn't have the backbone to stand up to him but bailed him out again and again when he'd spent more than he had. I was 20 when I got into that relationship and not adult at all (he was four years older) I wonder what excuse OP has.
And that kids, is why you talk about finances with your partner before marriage.
Divorce him. You're married to a child who doesn't know or care to know how to be an adult. It will only get worse. Leave him where you found him.
he invited her to go out to dinner. technically, she not only didn't have to pay for him, as the person who invited, he should have paid for both of them, unless they agreed in advance to go dutch treat and given that he knew he had no money but ordered like mad, he was taking advantage of her and has no right to call her names or get mad when he was called on his bad acts at that point, this is a troubled marriage. you don't take advantage like that of someone you love
IF this marraige lasts a year, this guy is gonna bankrupt them both. Get outta there lady! lol
DTMFA. Get out of this marriage, NOW. Your husband is a selfish jerk - and the money is only the beginning. He has no respect for you and he never will. Do NOT have kids with this idiot, just get out of the marriage and chalk it up to experience. ...///... If you stay with this man, you will not be able to retire, you will not be able to own a home, you will never be able to travel - he will be nothing but a leech for the rest of his life.
I may be seeing it weirdly here, but this is the kind of guy who needs a joint account but shouldn't ever be trusted to have one, because without learning to share and be responsible with money he will never grow up but if he's already 32...
Soo, let's assume he's got some huge qualities we can't see from the story to compensate for this. He's sick and he needs to go to therapy first alone for being addicted to buying stuff. Then you can go to therapy together to solve this relationship problem, however simple solution would be not marrying 5yo with job and ID that says he's adult.
If he's actually a pathological spender, as opposed to be accustomed to being spoiled and constantly bailed out by his family as I suspect... there's no hope for the marriage. Compulsive spending is one of those things that is extremely resistant to treatment, like hoarding and other compulsive behaviors, people may get better for a while but they usually go back to the behavior in time, or when subjected to stress. So really, this lady had better just get the divorce over with, before he really ruins her finances.
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Often in marriages there is one spouse who is not great with money and one who is really responsible with money. I have found, through personal experience and through interactions of other couples, the person who is best at handling the money should handle it. That does not mean the other partner has no say. You can set an expense limit where say, anything over say $100 has to be approved by both, and there is a set amount of discretionary money each month. In other words. the person good with money should make a budget and handle investments. It works. I have seen it work for so many people.
I wouldn't be caught dead marrying someone who has major spending problems. It's not even like she had no idea either. Run, girl, run!
My friend was married to somebody who was very bad at financing he knew it at the time he recognize that it could take him down and they had separate banking accounts as a result. She would pull some pretty amazing stunts like inviting eight people to an expensive restaurant and then saying she forgot her wallet. She never did learn to manage her money well. As a result of his caring for his financial health, my friend was financially sound after their divorce.
Personally I would go back to having separate accounts. And maybe as a compromise you each pay 50/50. As a unit, you shouldn't be expecting your other half to cover the entire bill. I mean, if you had a joint account it would come out of both your wages, which is technically 50/50 anyway. I get the impression he feels he can have a free ride at your expense and that really needs to be sorted out. A marriage is about trust, respect and communication and so far this is showing none of those attributes.
OP save your money on therapy and just divorce him already. He's not going to change.
Do you even love each other? Can you imagine having kind with that kind of person? How it will be like when the baby needs diapers you'll be arguing about who's buying them? This is unhealthy relationship, this ship is 99% likely to sink.
he knew he had no money and proposed going out to dinner, assuming he could manipulate her into paying for his dinner. he knowingly tried to steal from her
My husband and I have a joint account that all the "shared" bills come out of (mortgage, electric, food, etc, and we each contribute 50/50 to all these bills). Then we each have a separate account that the rest of our money goes into for our own things. For example: I run, and so I pay for my shoes, supplies, and races with my money in my account; he hunts, and pays for anything he needs out of that. When it comes to going out to eat, we take turns paying. As long as the "shared" bills are paid, I couldn't care less what he does with the rest of his money, and he feels the same.
This doesn't sound right. He buys stuff every day, but doesn't have enough money to pay for dinner and has to call a buddy??? Does he not have a credit card?? This whole thing is worded oddly, not buying it. Oh, and it's a royal pain to split the check every time you go out. Just take turns paying for dinner. My partner and I have done this for 15 years, it all evens out...
He's the one with the problem so he needs to pay for the therapy. He is old enough to take responsibility, if not then he should give you his paycheck and then you can control the money and give him allowance. If you are to pay for yourself, and it was his idea to go out to eat, he is the one to blame here. You don't invite someone to dinner and expect them to pay for you.
Sounds like made up BS to me, husband at 32 doesnt own a credit card, Google or Apple Pay and uses cash only for things so he was stuck at the restaurant? If you believe that please message me about this fine beachfront propert I have for sale as well.
Hi, if you need help to win back your lost relationship with a love spell, then you have just found the right person that can help you do that within 48 hours and he's name is Lord Zakuza. You can visit his website if you need his help via lordzakuzaspells.com
Husband is the asshole, but keep in mind he will ruin YOUR credatability for bank
Him saying "You're not going to pay for my meal too"? Just assuming she was going to. And telling her he spent all his, so he knew he was broke when he suggested they go out. Those are what bother me the most - he assumed! I'm glad she left him there, maybe he will learn his lesson. Good for her!
So the husband doesn't even have a credit card to pay for diner with? Granted, with the way he spends money it's probably a bad idea for him to have a credit card but sheesh.
This was my marriage exactly, only I never did a joint account, he would have cleaned me out. I had to put bills in my name and pay them because he couldn't manage money at all, would just spend everything and lie about paying bills. It was a major reason I left
This is really pathetic. What kind of marriage is this? Is there no love here? You should have one bank account and put all your income in together, then make a budget and balance accordingly. He's being stupid with his money thinking he can spend every last dime he has until there is nothing left, and you're being stupid not sharing what you have. This marriage will fall apart within a year
Poor woman. That is one entitled boychild right there. Wants to have his own money and split all expenses, then expects her to cover his extra over spending, without asking if ok first to,break his own terms. She just followed his rules.
He who pays can order whatever or how much he wants. The 'guest' should try to be 'modest' with the order as not to come off as a glutton. Can't afford to cover the cost? stay home and eat Mac & Cheese. She needs to go to counseling, even alone if he doesn't. Be the 'bigger' person and invest the cost to the couplehood. At least in the end if divorce is where it goes, it speaks well at the court proceedings.
I will never understand why people start any kind of serious relationship without reaching an agreement on certain very important issues first. Stuff like children, money and long-term goals must be agreed on beforehand, or it won't work. He obviously has a problem, but she is naive or stupid if she expects him to behave responsibly when he is clearly immature and selfish.
This is stuff that should have been worked out before the marriage. He obviously would have been like this throughout their relationship so why is she surprised by his reckless spending now. Did she think a piece of paper would magically change him! She can't whine when she married him. He needs help to be more financially aware and she needs to help to be more realistic.
First mistake, marrying someone who spends money like a drunken sailor. I don't think she ITA, but honestly, I would never put up with someone like that and they rarely change. He sounds incredibly immature and not ready for an adult relationship.
My fiancé used to make really good money and we had a joint account. I used to never work and basically shopped all the time and relied on him. It was super stressful for him and I never really thought about it. We separated for a bit and I was forced to grow up and work and that was the best thing for me. I GREW UP. I began being the one who made more and the roles were kind reversed. I had to pay for everything (he's not a shopper like I am) but then he started working again and now we make about the same, I still make a little more then him. We have separate accounts but definitely take care of each other if need be and we've been able to save together which has been great. I don't think causing a scene was the best idea. She should just divorce him or work it out.
I don't get where any of them are coming from, like I get getting upset at him acting like an idiot, but you just bail??? My fiance and I have separate finances. He's decent with money, I'm better. (it wasn't always like that, the money thing didn't click entirely for me until I buckled down when we bought our home) BUT we get paid opposite weeks, so on weeks he's short, I pay, when it's weeks I'm short he pays. It's 50/50 in that regards. I don't ever say "Honey do you mind..." It's a well oiled machine. We have one joint account for bills (mortgage etc) and our own accounts for our separate bills and spending. He takes care of house hold bills and his car, I pay for our phones, insurances and my car. It all works out. So stupid.
She knows her husband. She should have asked outringht before they went to the restaurant if he have money to pay for it... i guess she want to prove a point..
He shouldn't hve suggested it when he knew he was broke.
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ESH. People don’t seem to get that marriage isn’t love, it’s literally a contract that includes basically having all the same responsibilities and financials. If you cannot do that for any reason, then you not only shouldn’t be married, but you’re only married for the wedding and love but not the actual contract. It literally makes no sense. And a lot of people are able to make separate finances work, and sign a marriage contract, but it’s only a marriage in a loose sense of the word really. If you cannot marry your finances then you might as well just get promise rings and make up some vows and do a power of attorney in case you die or get injured.
I don't really get where the husband is coming from. They agreed on both paying for their own stuff. What makes him assume she is gonna pay for his food?? He wants to be independent - so he has to pay for his own food. I mean grow tf up.
Malik Saleem Khan won't pay for my dinner :( c'mon Malik you make $12000 a second online and can't buy me food
Load More Replies... A guy that has a job like that, he should have money for dinner. Save some money and stop buying guns. And she tried to show him how he's robbing her. He a cop that's not right to be a thief too
Load More Replies... He sounds like he's got the money management skills of a spoilt teenager. Good luck with that!
Yes. This marriage us doomed. If she tries to set limits, he will call her "controlling", if she tries to stop him spending her money he'll call her "selfish", etc. She should cut her losses and get out before he can really wreck her finances.
Load More Replies... NTA in my opinion. He was the one who wanted seperate finances but then expects his wife to pay for his meal. Why did he even go to a restaurant when he knew he didn't have any money? He should have asked his wife before even going out if she would help him out. Then everything would have been fine. Also I don't think this will work in the long run if he keeps spending his money irresponsibly. Will he always expect his wife to pay when he runs out of money? What will happen when kids come into the picture (in case they want to have kids)? He comes off really immature as far as I can tell from this post.
How did the husband survive before they married? He must have had to pay for rent, utilities, food etc. Perhaps he lived with his parent/parents and sponged off them. Any grown man who does that should have been avoided like the plague.
Why did they get married fi they can't even agree on how to budget their household expenses? That's probably the second thing Hubby & I did after he asked me to marry him. We ended up agreeing that any amount over X meant a discussion, no matter what the item was, and it saved us a ton of trouble in a lot of ways.
Only one question. Why would you marry such a man child, because this level of industrial-grade stupidity translates into other things too. Imagine them having kids. She is f****d. Moreover, the guy is a cop. But I guess, in the U.S. they recruit complete morons in the police force. It shows.
I don't think she's ESH because she called his bluff. It was very petty of her to leave him stranded. But she will need to make her point sooner or later, because what's his is his and what's hers is his, as far as he's concerned. Did you all catch he makes TWICE what she does? The real problem is selfishness and unwillingness to accommodate the other, btw
This is one of several reasons my first relationship went out the window. It took longer, almost four years, because I didn't have the backbone to stand up to him but bailed him out again and again when he'd spent more than he had. I was 20 when I got into that relationship and not adult at all (he was four years older) I wonder what excuse OP has.
And that kids, is why you talk about finances with your partner before marriage.
Divorce him. You're married to a child who doesn't know or care to know how to be an adult. It will only get worse. Leave him where you found him.
he invited her to go out to dinner. technically, she not only didn't have to pay for him, as the person who invited, he should have paid for both of them, unless they agreed in advance to go dutch treat and given that he knew he had no money but ordered like mad, he was taking advantage of her and has no right to call her names or get mad when he was called on his bad acts at that point, this is a troubled marriage. you don't take advantage like that of someone you love
IF this marraige lasts a year, this guy is gonna bankrupt them both. Get outta there lady! lol
DTMFA. Get out of this marriage, NOW. Your husband is a selfish jerk - and the money is only the beginning. He has no respect for you and he never will. Do NOT have kids with this idiot, just get out of the marriage and chalk it up to experience. ...///... If you stay with this man, you will not be able to retire, you will not be able to own a home, you will never be able to travel - he will be nothing but a leech for the rest of his life.
I may be seeing it weirdly here, but this is the kind of guy who needs a joint account but shouldn't ever be trusted to have one, because without learning to share and be responsible with money he will never grow up but if he's already 32...
Soo, let's assume he's got some huge qualities we can't see from the story to compensate for this. He's sick and he needs to go to therapy first alone for being addicted to buying stuff. Then you can go to therapy together to solve this relationship problem, however simple solution would be not marrying 5yo with job and ID that says he's adult.
If he's actually a pathological spender, as opposed to be accustomed to being spoiled and constantly bailed out by his family as I suspect... there's no hope for the marriage. Compulsive spending is one of those things that is extremely resistant to treatment, like hoarding and other compulsive behaviors, people may get better for a while but they usually go back to the behavior in time, or when subjected to stress. So really, this lady had better just get the divorce over with, before he really ruins her finances.
Load More Replies... Often in marriages there is one spouse who is not great with money and one who is really responsible with money. I have found, through personal experience and through interactions of other couples, the person who is best at handling the money should handle it. That does not mean the other partner has no say. You can set an expense limit where say, anything over say $100 has to be approved by both, and there is a set amount of discretionary money each month. In other words. the person good with money should make a budget and handle investments. It works. I have seen it work for so many people.
I wouldn't be caught dead marrying someone who has major spending problems. It's not even like she had no idea either. Run, girl, run!
My friend was married to somebody who was very bad at financing he knew it at the time he recognize that it could take him down and they had separate banking accounts as a result. She would pull some pretty amazing stunts like inviting eight people to an expensive restaurant and then saying she forgot her wallet. She never did learn to manage her money well. As a result of his caring for his financial health, my friend was financially sound after their divorce.
Personally I would go back to having separate accounts. And maybe as a compromise you each pay 50/50. As a unit, you shouldn't be expecting your other half to cover the entire bill. I mean, if you had a joint account it would come out of both your wages, which is technically 50/50 anyway. I get the impression he feels he can have a free ride at your expense and that really needs to be sorted out. A marriage is about trust, respect and communication and so far this is showing none of those attributes.
OP save your money on therapy and just divorce him already. He's not going to change.
Do you even love each other? Can you imagine having kind with that kind of person? How it will be like when the baby needs diapers you'll be arguing about who's buying them? This is unhealthy relationship, this ship is 99% likely to sink.
he knew he had no money and proposed going out to dinner, assuming he could manipulate her into paying for his dinner. he knowingly tried to steal from her
My husband and I have a joint account that all the "shared" bills come out of (mortgage, electric, food, etc, and we each contribute 50/50 to all these bills). Then we each have a separate account that the rest of our money goes into for our own things. For example: I run, and so I pay for my shoes, supplies, and races with my money in my account; he hunts, and pays for anything he needs out of that. When it comes to going out to eat, we take turns paying. As long as the "shared" bills are paid, I couldn't care less what he does with the rest of his money, and he feels the same.
This doesn't sound right. He buys stuff every day, but doesn't have enough money to pay for dinner and has to call a buddy??? Does he not have a credit card?? This whole thing is worded oddly, not buying it. Oh, and it's a royal pain to split the check every time you go out. Just take turns paying for dinner. My partner and I have done this for 15 years, it all evens out...
He's the one with the problem so he needs to pay for the therapy. He is old enough to take responsibility, if not then he should give you his paycheck and then you can control the money and give him allowance. If you are to pay for yourself, and it was his idea to go out to eat, he is the one to blame here. You don't invite someone to dinner and expect them to pay for you.
Sounds like made up BS to me, husband at 32 doesnt own a credit card, Google or Apple Pay and uses cash only for things so he was stuck at the restaurant? If you believe that please message me about this fine beachfront propert I have for sale as well.
Hi, if you need help to win back your lost relationship with a love spell, then you have just found the right person that can help you do that within 48 hours and he's name is Lord Zakuza. You can visit his website if you need his help via lordzakuzaspells.com
Husband is the asshole, but keep in mind he will ruin YOUR credatability for bank
Him saying "You're not going to pay for my meal too"? Just assuming she was going to. And telling her he spent all his, so he knew he was broke when he suggested they go out. Those are what bother me the most - he assumed! I'm glad she left him there, maybe he will learn his lesson. Good for her!
So the husband doesn't even have a credit card to pay for diner with? Granted, with the way he spends money it's probably a bad idea for him to have a credit card but sheesh.
This was my marriage exactly, only I never did a joint account, he would have cleaned me out. I had to put bills in my name and pay them because he couldn't manage money at all, would just spend everything and lie about paying bills. It was a major reason I left
This is really pathetic. What kind of marriage is this? Is there no love here? You should have one bank account and put all your income in together, then make a budget and balance accordingly. He's being stupid with his money thinking he can spend every last dime he has until there is nothing left, and you're being stupid not sharing what you have. This marriage will fall apart within a year
Poor woman. That is one entitled boychild right there. Wants to have his own money and split all expenses, then expects her to cover his extra over spending, without asking if ok first to,break his own terms. She just followed his rules.
He who pays can order whatever or how much he wants. The 'guest' should try to be 'modest' with the order as not to come off as a glutton. Can't afford to cover the cost? stay home and eat Mac & Cheese. She needs to go to counseling, even alone if he doesn't. Be the 'bigger' person and invest the cost to the couplehood. At least in the end if divorce is where it goes, it speaks well at the court proceedings.
I will never understand why people start any kind of serious relationship without reaching an agreement on certain very important issues first. Stuff like children, money and long-term goals must be agreed on beforehand, or it won't work. He obviously has a problem, but she is naive or stupid if she expects him to behave responsibly when he is clearly immature and selfish.
This is stuff that should have been worked out before the marriage. He obviously would have been like this throughout their relationship so why is she surprised by his reckless spending now. Did she think a piece of paper would magically change him! She can't whine when she married him. He needs help to be more financially aware and she needs to help to be more realistic.
First mistake, marrying someone who spends money like a drunken sailor. I don't think she ITA, but honestly, I would never put up with someone like that and they rarely change. He sounds incredibly immature and not ready for an adult relationship.
My fiancé used to make really good money and we had a joint account. I used to never work and basically shopped all the time and relied on him. It was super stressful for him and I never really thought about it. We separated for a bit and I was forced to grow up and work and that was the best thing for me. I GREW UP. I began being the one who made more and the roles were kind reversed. I had to pay for everything (he's not a shopper like I am) but then he started working again and now we make about the same, I still make a little more then him. We have separate accounts but definitely take care of each other if need be and we've been able to save together which has been great. I don't think causing a scene was the best idea. She should just divorce him or work it out.
I don't get where any of them are coming from, like I get getting upset at him acting like an idiot, but you just bail??? My fiance and I have separate finances. He's decent with money, I'm better. (it wasn't always like that, the money thing didn't click entirely for me until I buckled down when we bought our home) BUT we get paid opposite weeks, so on weeks he's short, I pay, when it's weeks I'm short he pays. It's 50/50 in that regards. I don't ever say "Honey do you mind..." It's a well oiled machine. We have one joint account for bills (mortgage etc) and our own accounts for our separate bills and spending. He takes care of house hold bills and his car, I pay for our phones, insurances and my car. It all works out. So stupid.
She knows her husband. She should have asked outringht before they went to the restaurant if he have money to pay for it... i guess she want to prove a point..
He shouldn't hve suggested it when he knew he was broke.
Load More Replies... ESH. People don’t seem to get that marriage isn’t love, it’s literally a contract that includes basically having all the same responsibilities and financials. If you cannot do that for any reason, then you not only shouldn’t be married, but you’re only married for the wedding and love but not the actual contract. It literally makes no sense. And a lot of people are able to make separate finances work, and sign a marriage contract, but it’s only a marriage in a loose sense of the word really. If you cannot marry your finances then you might as well just get promise rings and make up some vows and do a power of attorney in case you die or get injured.
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