Wife Sets A Glitter Trap For Husband To Test His Housework, He Pours His Heart Out Online: “I Don’t Know How I’m Going To Survive The Holidays”
The holidays can be extremely stressful, especially when paired with an intense period of time at work. And though it feels good to vent a bit about your troubles to your partner, family, and friends, you should never, ever allow this to morph into emotional abuse. Nobody should be your verbal punching bag just because life is hard. Nobody deserves to be raged at.
Believe it or not, glitter—yes, that sparkly stuff—can be used as a weapon in a relationship. Unfortunately, what follows isn’t a story that’s magical, airy, and lighthearted. And it might make some of you Pandas uncomfortable, so fair warning.
Redditor u/errandsandhousework opened up about how his wife’s temper has been getting “worse and worse lately” in a post on r/TrueOffMyChest. He shared how she keeps criticizing how he does the housework, no matter how well he does it. Things came to a head when she hid glitter underneath the coffeemaker to ‘prove’ that he isn’t thorough in how he cleans the kitchen. He moved the machine, got glitter everywhere, and it took a ton of time to clean everything up. His wife’s response was to yell at him for spilling the glitter.
Scroll down for the full story, in the OP’s own words. What advice would you give the author of the post, dear Pandas? Bored Panda has reached out to u/errandsandhousework via Reddit. We’ll update the article once we hear back from him.
Glitter might sound like something that’s always fun, but it’s anything but in this particular case
Image credits: Jordydex (not the actual photo)
A man shared how his wife keeps lashing out at him, and how she ended up hiding glitter underneath the coffeemaker. He spilled it while cleaning the kitchen
Image credits: Diva Plavalaguna (not the actual photo)
Image credits: errandsandhousework
The author of the post hopes that things will settle down once the stress at his wife’s workplace fizzles out after the holidays. Then, according to him, they can have a conversation about all of this. However, u/errandsandhousework feels like things will just get worse the closer we get to Christmas. Unsolicited advice isn’t something that we’d usually give, but it feels like they need to have that chat about what’s going on as soon as possible, instead of putting it off until later.
Many redditors were completely appalled by what they read. Some of them pointed out that the OP’s wife literally set him up to fail by hiding glitter underneath the coffeemaker. Others suggested that she was looking for reasons to be mad at him. All in all, it’s not an emotionally sound atmosphere at home.
There are a few approaches that people can take in similar situations. The first, probably the most uncomfortable but most mature, is sitting down and having a calm but honest conversation about what’s going on. You explain how you’re feeling to your partner when they do certain things. You establish certain boundaries. And if you ever get into a major argument, physical contact (think hugs and kisses) can help you make up.
Though it’s completely normal to have more flexible boundaries the closer you are to someone, it’s still vital to have a mutual understanding of what behavior is completely and utterly over the line. Being screamed at, for example, is something that most people wouldn’t be fine with. It’s the type of behavior that needs to stop. Immediately.
A second approach that you can go for is reaching out to a professional for help. Going to couples counseling or even heading to therapy solo can help you process your emotions. It’s important to understand that by asking for assistance, you are not showing weakness. Working through your problems, and taking actionable steps towards a better future for the sake of the entire family, is strength.
The third option is to consider separation or divorce. You have to look at your partner’s track record: how long have they been yelling and screaming at you, criticizing every little thing that you do? Is this new behavior or is this something that repeats itself, constantly? In short, you have to identify if the actual root of the problem is solely the insane stress at work they’re under (and they simply can’t process it in a healthy way) or if they’re treating you badly because they feel like they can get away with it.
Bored Panda wrote earlier about how resentment can build up in relationships if couples don’t have honest conversations about practical, day-to-day issues. Such as dividing up the housework. If there’s no communication and transparency on that front, what you get are constant arguments that can eventually lead to the couple breaking up. In short, it’s best to solve the issue as soon as possible, instead of letting all of that stress and tension build up. Nobody’s a mind reader—you need to talk.
To state the obvious, there needs to be a fair distribution of housework between both partners. Nobody should feel like they’re being forced to do anything. Sometimes, there’s a need to rebalance things so both sides are happy. This might look slightly different for every couple: every relationship has unique circumstances. However, one thing doesn’t change—partners ought to treat each other with love and respect. And that means no screaming and gaslighting each other with glitter traps.
The internet rushed to support the author of the post and gave him advice on what to do next
This just sent me back 30 years, listening to my dad scream at my mom for literal hours after she failed one of his "tests." Take the kids and leave. Even if it's just for a few days/weeks. Tell your kids what's going on. Don't make excuses for her or act like it isn't happening or is normal, that just makes it really confusing. Then meet in a public place and talk about what's going on and make a plan, if you want to save the relationship. My dad turned into an amazing person when he got his anxiety under control, so there is hope.
Exactly the same with my dad. The only thing is, is that he never did when my siblings and I were around, or I was too young to understand.
That is kidnapping! Don't do it. If she were to go to the police, he could lose the kids.
My response would have been, "Do you know what? If you don't like how I do it, do it yourself"
I full on don't tell my spouse about things that need doing if I don't like how they do it - I do it myself. I was briefly controlling like this when we first got married before quickly learning to understand the adage "there's more than one way to skin a cat"
Exactly, I have a certain way I like my clothes folded but I've never told my wife that. If I have time to help out with chores I try to do some of the laundry and fold my cloths the way I like it but otherwise I don't complain. It's the same with anything else. I don't complain about something that needs done or if it's not done the way I would like. If I can I do it instead and if I can't do it I know better than to complain.
At some point she has decided to degrade her husband. Sorry but first of all he needs to stop allowing this behavior. Second she has the choice of what comes out of her mouth and how. Third, you are doing this where your kids can see. Everything they will learn about relationships will be from mom and dad. This is not new, it has been progressive. I went through a simular thing. I left after being diplomatic . He should stop this abuse for the sake of his kids. Maybe his wife wants out as well. People will treat you as good or as bad as you alliw them to . I think she would not gleen fron councilling. I think it is too late.
Agreed. If you want them to do it? Accept that they may have a different way. If you want it done your way? Then do it yourself, instead of outsourcing. Your partner is an adult who was taught by someone else. They aren't your child and they aren't stupid because they do it differently.
Perfect response.
Honestly, this is partly why my dad leaves certain jobs around the house. It's not 'weaponized incompetence', it's that he's sick of being told he's done it wrong.
Unfortuntely, alot of men use that line and purposely do things half azz to get out of chores. It's called weaponized incompitence. Women do it too. None the less one needs to be sure you are doing it to a reasonable.levwl.before shooting that come back.
I would have left the glitter for her to clean up.
Reminds me of the saying "play stupid games, win stupid prizes"
Yep. What bothers me is the controlling nature ... she's abusive too and they have children. She needs therapy and maybe - just maybe needs to see a dokter.
Yeah that's what I thought.
If somebody strews glitter in my house, I point them to the cupboard where I keep the vacuumcleener
This just sent me back 30 years, listening to my dad scream at my mom for literal hours after she failed one of his "tests." Take the kids and leave. Even if it's just for a few days/weeks. Tell your kids what's going on. Don't make excuses for her or act like it isn't happening or is normal, that just makes it really confusing. Then meet in a public place and talk about what's going on and make a plan, if you want to save the relationship. My dad turned into an amazing person when he got his anxiety under control, so there is hope.
Exactly the same with my dad. The only thing is, is that he never did when my siblings and I were around, or I was too young to understand.
That is kidnapping! Don't do it. If she were to go to the police, he could lose the kids.
My response would have been, "Do you know what? If you don't like how I do it, do it yourself"
I full on don't tell my spouse about things that need doing if I don't like how they do it - I do it myself. I was briefly controlling like this when we first got married before quickly learning to understand the adage "there's more than one way to skin a cat"
Exactly, I have a certain way I like my clothes folded but I've never told my wife that. If I have time to help out with chores I try to do some of the laundry and fold my cloths the way I like it but otherwise I don't complain. It's the same with anything else. I don't complain about something that needs done or if it's not done the way I would like. If I can I do it instead and if I can't do it I know better than to complain.
At some point she has decided to degrade her husband. Sorry but first of all he needs to stop allowing this behavior. Second she has the choice of what comes out of her mouth and how. Third, you are doing this where your kids can see. Everything they will learn about relationships will be from mom and dad. This is not new, it has been progressive. I went through a simular thing. I left after being diplomatic . He should stop this abuse for the sake of his kids. Maybe his wife wants out as well. People will treat you as good or as bad as you alliw them to . I think she would not gleen fron councilling. I think it is too late.
Agreed. If you want them to do it? Accept that they may have a different way. If you want it done your way? Then do it yourself, instead of outsourcing. Your partner is an adult who was taught by someone else. They aren't your child and they aren't stupid because they do it differently.
Perfect response.
Honestly, this is partly why my dad leaves certain jobs around the house. It's not 'weaponized incompetence', it's that he's sick of being told he's done it wrong.
Unfortuntely, alot of men use that line and purposely do things half azz to get out of chores. It's called weaponized incompitence. Women do it too. None the less one needs to be sure you are doing it to a reasonable.levwl.before shooting that come back.
I would have left the glitter for her to clean up.
Reminds me of the saying "play stupid games, win stupid prizes"
Yep. What bothers me is the controlling nature ... she's abusive too and they have children. She needs therapy and maybe - just maybe needs to see a dokter.
Yeah that's what I thought.
If somebody strews glitter in my house, I point them to the cupboard where I keep the vacuumcleener