Husband Fed Up With The 30 Dogs His Wife Pets Asks Her To Choose Him Or The Dogs, And Probably Regrets It Afterwards
“It’s me or the dogs,” Mike Haslam told his wife Liz after he felt that he is not able to deal with his wife being a dog owner of not one or two, but 30 pooches.
The couple from Barnham, Suffolk, has been married for 25 years when 53-year-old Mike Haslam decided to give his 49-year-old wife a very unusual ultimatum to choose between him and her adorable dogs. Liz, proving she loves her dogs unconditionally, without much hesitation chose her Bull Terriers.
Since Liz is from a truly animal-obsessed family (her mother bred West Highland terriers and her father ran an animal food company), her answer wasn’t unexpected. “I thought after 25 years, he should know giving up the dogs was not what my intentions were,” said Liz. “My husband said ‘it is me or the dogs.’ I haven’t seen or heard from him since. He told me he was going and had sorted out some other accommodation so he packed his bags and went.”
Mike and Liz met when she was only 16, and got married in 1991. After a family moved into a two-bedroom farmhouse with half an acre of land, Liz decided to start a boarding kennel business. She also founded BedforBullies, a charity which relies on donations and takes on Bull Terriers that other dog rescues won’t, and then she began running an animal shelter for dogs that have medical/behavioral issues.
At the moment Liz, dog person in its truest sense, is fostering 30 rescue dogs and many of them are experiencing very complex needs – five are deaf, two have only one eye. A few of her cute dogs are ex-fighters, one suffers from brain damage and other defects. They require constant care and Liz admits that she usually spends around 18 hours per day helping the poor animals. “It is very deliberating job, you can’t have a day off,” she said. “I don’t sit down till 11:30pm at night so you can’t just go on holiday. And I can’t just turn around and say I am not going to do it anymore, it is my responsibility, I took the dogs in I can’t just stop.”
Although her business is successful, it doesn’t cover all the costs. The irony here is that Liz has fostered so many abandoned and stray dogs, however, her landlord is now insisting she must move out of the property within a year and she’s looking for a new home herself. It doesn’t make her sad though: “I have chosen to do this. I love it.”
More info: Facebook (h/t SWNS)
This is Liz Haslam who decided to choose her 30 rescue dogs over her husband
Mike Haslam and Liz have been married for 25 years when suddenly he gave her a very unusual ultimatum
53-year-old Mike made his wife choose between him and her pets after getting completely fed up with the mess at their house
Since Liz is from a truly animal-obsessed family, her answer wasn’t unexpected
“I thought after 25 years, he should know giving up the dogs was not what my intentions were,” said Liz
“My husband said ‘it is me or the dogs.’ I haven’t seen or heard from him since”
Mike and Liz met when she was only 16, and got married in 1991
After the family moved into a two-bedroom farmhouse with half an acre of land, Liz decided to start a boarding kennel business
She also founded BedforBullies, and began fostering dogs that often have medical/behavioral issues
At the moment Liz is fostering 30 rescue dogs and many of them are experiencing very complex needs
Five dogs are deaf, two have only one eye
A few of them are ex-fighting dogs, one also suffers from brain damage and other defects
They require constant care and Liz admits that she usually spends around 18 hours per day helping the poor animals
“It is very deliberating job, you can’t have a day off,’ Liz said
Image credits: swns
“I don’t sit down till 11:30pm at night so you can’t just go on holiday”
“And I can’t just turn around and say I am not going to do it anymore, it is my responsibility, I took the dogs in I can’t just stop”
Although her business is successful, it doesn’t cover all the costs
Liz has fostered so many dogs, however, her landlord is now insisting she must move out of the property within a year and she’s looking for a new home herself
It doesn’t make her sad though…
“I have chosen to do this. I love it”
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I'm sorry... I would leave too. I'm not saying that what she's doing isn't admirable. I'm just saying that you can't be neglected in a marriage and be expected to stay.
Dropping special needs animals is probably a death sentence for them. Not an option. She did the right thing.
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Well, I understand why the husband would leave if she was neglecting him. It's not like he expected to end up in this situation when he married her. I don't think anyone's the bad guy in this situation though, they clearly wanted different things in life and split up as a result. It happens.
but you don't throw out a ultimatum if that's all there was to it. i mean really after 25 years he decides this dog thing isn't for him? this was not a recent development and there was time to talk about it before it reached this point.
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He should have left years ago. His wife is an animal hoarder and NO ONE can take adequate care of that many dogs alone. Since she has them in the house, it no doubt reeks in there.
its a farm house with a half acre of land. they arent all just shoved in a house.
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My neighbor is an animal hoarder but calls herself a dog rescuer...its bs! When she isn't home, her 20-25 dogs are always outside barking and fighting and stomping over each other. Her backyard is very very small. I don't blame this guy for leaving. People shouldn't have this many dogs, even if they have a lot of land.
There is no legal limit on how many dogs she can have? Especially if her yard is small
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I couldn't live like that. I've had dogs, but nothing like she has. Two dogs make a mess, that many makes a health hazard.
Totally agree Jamie. My parents have 3, and every time I go over there, it just seems like way too much to handle! It's quite overwhelming. So I can't imagine 30.
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Who the f**k thought it's a good idea to put a separation story on social media ? Did both of them agree to this ?
What makes you the board Mommy? If people are willing to go online to brag about their mascara technique, why shouldn't he talk about something negative in his life?
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You cannot possibly give 30 dogs the individual care each one needs. And I see she crates them as well, that is just cruel. I am all for fostering and looking after special needs dogs but this is over the top and she should be stopped
They're better off without each other it would appear. Good luck to them both in doing whatever makes them happy.
Life can be ironic - my guess is the hubby will end up with a wife that turns into a crazy cat lady.
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It sounds as though both of them now have a chance to do what makes them happy.
There is something off with her, she must have seen what impact those dogs had on her marriage. There are plenty of voluntary facilities helping such people, especially if we are talking about rescue dogs, re-homing dogs etc. She should have reached out for help and I am sure she would find some good hearts out there to relieve at least some of her duties. I don't blame the husband, no matter if he got the idea overnight, as BP presented it, or it built up in him. Tough choice, but if main life-goals are different, it's time to split.
Animal freaks like her are mental. They convince themselves that the animals not only need her, but will perish without her. It starts out slowly, so at first the hoarders really are providing a valued service (getting the animals off the streets), but as it progresses, the mental disease takes over the hoarders reasoning and soon she has convinced herself that it's her and her alone that can provide for those animals. Nothing else matters and it's encouraged because even feral dogs understand that if they suck up to humans they get free food and shelter.
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Hey BP, I'm available to proofread. Really. Every post has at least 3 errors. I don't think she said this is "a very deliberating job."
Correct, it should have said "a very mentally deliberating job".
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Why should he regret it afterwards? I think the husband had finally reached his limits and just thought enough is enough. Waiting 25 years to "pop the question" (ironically) is a prove that he actually loved her so he put up with it all these times. If it were me, I couldn't even get to more than 5 years. She was probably a saint for some (the dogs) but she was a egoistical douche for her husband.
I don't blame him, although it's admirable...30 dogs is excessive. It's actually pet hoarding.
I broke up with my ex after he told me to get rid of my cat or he would leave me. If you set up an ultimatum you already made the decision yourself.
An awful lot of people are fixating on the term “farm house”. Calling something a farm house does not make it so .. it’s only half an acre (roughly half a football field). Further, even if it was a farm, she is being asked to leave. So the husband leaves, landlord is not renewing lease, 30 dogs (that are more likely just foster in name), many of which have complex needs. She might have a good heart, but signs seriously point to her being a hoarder.
Animal hording is a mental disorder. The woman needs just as much help as her dogs. And that she doesn't see it, doesn't see how what she is doing is simply not responsible and sustainable in the long run, makes the husbands decision very understandable to me. I'm also fairly sure he didn't get up one morning and left - there must have been yeas of discussion and plenty of options to not take every dog and/or find homes for some of the ones that are there.
the orange , pink, yellow and blue dreadlocks say so much more than the words
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she's a f*****g spaz. Keep 1 or 2 dogs, maybe three. Keep them outside and keep your home neat. the man had to give up 25 years of his life only to be cast out for some dogs. Don't get married if you're going to be obsessed with a bunch of dogs and not the man youve said I DO to. She's actually an abusive b***h.
We had a white English bull terrier when I was little. She was a big bull of energy. She was very friendly, but hard work. My mum gave her away in the end. She went to a lady who lived in the countryside, so we knew she'd have lots of fields to run around and act crazy in.
Ah the old tell the kids the dog went to the dog friendly farm where it can run and play with all the other good doogies tale. When in reality, the dog was hit by a dog and had to be put down by the vet.
Load More Replies... Ok, I see so many downvotes and calling the lady crazy because some assume that having colourful hair means mental illness. And hoarding is a legitimate disorder, but I myself do not think it applies here based on the photos. Here's why: 1. The house looks incredibly clean for having many pets. I live with three and cleaning is part of a daily routine. When hoarders let their obsession get out of hand, the first thing one notices is filth and lack of hygiene. 2. The lady herself looks healthy, groomed and obviously paying attention to how she looks (yes, the hair is a sign of good mental health here!). Most hoarders do not keep up with daily hygiene. 3. The dogs look very well kept and happy and have their basic needs covered (they're not malnourished or obese, which the latter could point to not having enough exercise or bad diet; they're also clean and have their own nice collars and harnesses). 4. Kennel is spacious and has a shelter. Remember behavioural issues.
Sorry, there's more to the story than what is being presented. 30 dogs is a LOT of poop, pee, diapers, walks, and so on. I think we are only being given only one side of a very complicated situation.
To me this seems like a hoarding issue. She just likes to call herself a rescuer. It also said her husband gave her "a very unusual ultimatum." I don't think it's unusual at all. A lot of people would feel the same way he does.
Just p**s off for once Vonskippy, nobody wants or needs your input.
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Liz you are a true angel and the world needs more people like you. I would have done EXACTLY the same thing in your situation. Men come and go and if like me you have lived a life without the need for a man in your life you will find as I have that dogs are the most important thing. I would rather have my dog than a relationship any day. A dog gives you so much unconditional love companionship loyalty and happiness and would NEVER resort to ultimatums to get their own way. I really hope you and your beautiful dogs find a really beautiful home soon. You really deserve
I wonder if the husband was looking for a way out. Maybe he found a woman who likes cats.
Or maybe he got tired of living in piles of dog s**t and stepping in pee all day? Or maybe he's just had it with living with a mentally ill animal hoarder?
Load More Replies... my god some of you people in the comments are heartless. let me spit out some facts for you who didnt actually read a damn thing. 1, shes been doing this for YEARS and runs a kennel. if he had a problem with this, its a conversation he should of brought up YEARS AGO. to give someone a ultimatum of "its me or the dogs" and a number of these dogs are special needs. if you have even HALF a heart you know what to choose. 2, they had a farm house and a half acre of land. these animals are not just kept inside all day. 3. if you want to talk about someones needs not being met lets talk about a """MAN""" who leaves his wife after 25 years and probably never helping her take care of all these animals when she never has a day off. no doubt this was her meaning in life and shes making a positive effect. lets hear what he has done with his life beside divorce a woman because shes taking care of special needs dogs. 4.i would put money on the land owner kicking her out due to the husband as well
Well maybe he told her not to foster more and more dogs already years ago. I really don't think he left her that easily. Don't put the blame on someone you don't even know.
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I agree. Can't blame the husband. His love for her made him endure for such long years.
Load More Replies... I'm sorry... I would leave too. I'm not saying that what she's doing isn't admirable. I'm just saying that you can't be neglected in a marriage and be expected to stay.
Dropping special needs animals is probably a death sentence for them. Not an option. She did the right thing.
Load More Replies... Well, I understand why the husband would leave if she was neglecting him. It's not like he expected to end up in this situation when he married her. I don't think anyone's the bad guy in this situation though, they clearly wanted different things in life and split up as a result. It happens.
but you don't throw out a ultimatum if that's all there was to it. i mean really after 25 years he decides this dog thing isn't for him? this was not a recent development and there was time to talk about it before it reached this point.
Load More Replies... He should have left years ago. His wife is an animal hoarder and NO ONE can take adequate care of that many dogs alone. Since she has them in the house, it no doubt reeks in there.
its a farm house with a half acre of land. they arent all just shoved in a house.
Load More Replies... My neighbor is an animal hoarder but calls herself a dog rescuer...its bs! When she isn't home, her 20-25 dogs are always outside barking and fighting and stomping over each other. Her backyard is very very small. I don't blame this guy for leaving. People shouldn't have this many dogs, even if they have a lot of land.
There is no legal limit on how many dogs she can have? Especially if her yard is small
Load More Replies... I couldn't live like that. I've had dogs, but nothing like she has. Two dogs make a mess, that many makes a health hazard.
Totally agree Jamie. My parents have 3, and every time I go over there, it just seems like way too much to handle! It's quite overwhelming. So I can't imagine 30.
Load More Replies... Who the f**k thought it's a good idea to put a separation story on social media ? Did both of them agree to this ?
What makes you the board Mommy? If people are willing to go online to brag about their mascara technique, why shouldn't he talk about something negative in his life?
Load More Replies... You cannot possibly give 30 dogs the individual care each one needs. And I see she crates them as well, that is just cruel. I am all for fostering and looking after special needs dogs but this is over the top and she should be stopped
They're better off without each other it would appear. Good luck to them both in doing whatever makes them happy.
Life can be ironic - my guess is the hubby will end up with a wife that turns into a crazy cat lady.
Load More Replies... It sounds as though both of them now have a chance to do what makes them happy.
There is something off with her, she must have seen what impact those dogs had on her marriage. There are plenty of voluntary facilities helping such people, especially if we are talking about rescue dogs, re-homing dogs etc. She should have reached out for help and I am sure she would find some good hearts out there to relieve at least some of her duties. I don't blame the husband, no matter if he got the idea overnight, as BP presented it, or it built up in him. Tough choice, but if main life-goals are different, it's time to split.
Animal freaks like her are mental. They convince themselves that the animals not only need her, but will perish without her. It starts out slowly, so at first the hoarders really are providing a valued service (getting the animals off the streets), but as it progresses, the mental disease takes over the hoarders reasoning and soon she has convinced herself that it's her and her alone that can provide for those animals. Nothing else matters and it's encouraged because even feral dogs understand that if they suck up to humans they get free food and shelter.
Load More Replies... Hey BP, I'm available to proofread. Really. Every post has at least 3 errors. I don't think she said this is "a very deliberating job."
Correct, it should have said "a very mentally deliberating job".
Load More Replies... Why should he regret it afterwards? I think the husband had finally reached his limits and just thought enough is enough. Waiting 25 years to "pop the question" (ironically) is a prove that he actually loved her so he put up with it all these times. If it were me, I couldn't even get to more than 5 years. She was probably a saint for some (the dogs) but she was a egoistical douche for her husband.
I don't blame him, although it's admirable...30 dogs is excessive. It's actually pet hoarding.
I broke up with my ex after he told me to get rid of my cat or he would leave me. If you set up an ultimatum you already made the decision yourself.
An awful lot of people are fixating on the term “farm house”. Calling something a farm house does not make it so .. it’s only half an acre (roughly half a football field). Further, even if it was a farm, she is being asked to leave. So the husband leaves, landlord is not renewing lease, 30 dogs (that are more likely just foster in name), many of which have complex needs. She might have a good heart, but signs seriously point to her being a hoarder.
Animal hording is a mental disorder. The woman needs just as much help as her dogs. And that she doesn't see it, doesn't see how what she is doing is simply not responsible and sustainable in the long run, makes the husbands decision very understandable to me. I'm also fairly sure he didn't get up one morning and left - there must have been yeas of discussion and plenty of options to not take every dog and/or find homes for some of the ones that are there.
the orange , pink, yellow and blue dreadlocks say so much more than the words
Load More Replies... she's a f*****g spaz. Keep 1 or 2 dogs, maybe three. Keep them outside and keep your home neat. the man had to give up 25 years of his life only to be cast out for some dogs. Don't get married if you're going to be obsessed with a bunch of dogs and not the man youve said I DO to. She's actually an abusive b***h.
We had a white English bull terrier when I was little. She was a big bull of energy. She was very friendly, but hard work. My mum gave her away in the end. She went to a lady who lived in the countryside, so we knew she'd have lots of fields to run around and act crazy in.
Ah the old tell the kids the dog went to the dog friendly farm where it can run and play with all the other good doogies tale. When in reality, the dog was hit by a dog and had to be put down by the vet.
Load More Replies... Ok, I see so many downvotes and calling the lady crazy because some assume that having colourful hair means mental illness. And hoarding is a legitimate disorder, but I myself do not think it applies here based on the photos. Here's why: 1. The house looks incredibly clean for having many pets. I live with three and cleaning is part of a daily routine. When hoarders let their obsession get out of hand, the first thing one notices is filth and lack of hygiene. 2. The lady herself looks healthy, groomed and obviously paying attention to how she looks (yes, the hair is a sign of good mental health here!). Most hoarders do not keep up with daily hygiene. 3. The dogs look very well kept and happy and have their basic needs covered (they're not malnourished or obese, which the latter could point to not having enough exercise or bad diet; they're also clean and have their own nice collars and harnesses). 4. Kennel is spacious and has a shelter. Remember behavioural issues.
Sorry, there's more to the story than what is being presented. 30 dogs is a LOT of poop, pee, diapers, walks, and so on. I think we are only being given only one side of a very complicated situation.
To me this seems like a hoarding issue. She just likes to call herself a rescuer. It also said her husband gave her "a very unusual ultimatum." I don't think it's unusual at all. A lot of people would feel the same way he does.
Just p**s off for once Vonskippy, nobody wants or needs your input.
Load More Replies... Liz you are a true angel and the world needs more people like you. I would have done EXACTLY the same thing in your situation. Men come and go and if like me you have lived a life without the need for a man in your life you will find as I have that dogs are the most important thing. I would rather have my dog than a relationship any day. A dog gives you so much unconditional love companionship loyalty and happiness and would NEVER resort to ultimatums to get their own way. I really hope you and your beautiful dogs find a really beautiful home soon. You really deserve
I wonder if the husband was looking for a way out. Maybe he found a woman who likes cats.
Or maybe he got tired of living in piles of dog s**t and stepping in pee all day? Or maybe he's just had it with living with a mentally ill animal hoarder?
Load More Replies... my god some of you people in the comments are heartless. let me spit out some facts for you who didnt actually read a damn thing. 1, shes been doing this for YEARS and runs a kennel. if he had a problem with this, its a conversation he should of brought up YEARS AGO. to give someone a ultimatum of "its me or the dogs" and a number of these dogs are special needs. if you have even HALF a heart you know what to choose. 2, they had a farm house and a half acre of land. these animals are not just kept inside all day. 3. if you want to talk about someones needs not being met lets talk about a """MAN""" who leaves his wife after 25 years and probably never helping her take care of all these animals when she never has a day off. no doubt this was her meaning in life and shes making a positive effect. lets hear what he has done with his life beside divorce a woman because shes taking care of special needs dogs. 4.i would put money on the land owner kicking her out due to the husband as well
Well maybe he told her not to foster more and more dogs already years ago. I really don't think he left her that easily. Don't put the blame on someone you don't even know.
Load More Replies... I agree. Can't blame the husband. His love for her made him endure for such long years.
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