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We live in a colorful world, no doubt about it. With so much information bombarding us every day, it’s easy to lose track of what’s really going on around us.

And by really, I mean that we often fail to pause and reflect on the dynamics of our modern society where people celebrate an inherently positive side of the world. But what if beneath its wholesome surface lies an underlying toxicity that feeds our delusions even further?

It sounds like one of those difficult thoughts that haunt us before falling asleep. But thanks to one Redditor who recently asked a seemingly basic question “What are 'wholesome' things that are actually toxic?” we now have some truly eye-opening answers. From family vlogging to animal rescue videos that are often totally fake, these are some examples to remind us to not take everything at face value.

#1

Not sure if it’s on here already, but I get super uncomfortable when a video of a classroom of kids giving the kid who “can’t afford new shoes” a brand new pair as a surprise. The entire culture of filming while doing kind things for people is so exploitive and gross and sad.

LaceyThunderwear Report

#2

The expectation to keep your family members in your life no matter what they do. Some people have families that treat them like absolute [trash], and being related to them isn't a good reason to keep them around. It's ok to cut off toxic family members.

Weirdo_666_420 Report

#3

Body positivity like Dove's "Real Beauty" campaign. The idea that all women are beautiful sounds nice on the surface, but it's a gross message to send because beauty is still at the core of it. I don't want to be told that my body is beautiful too, I want to be told that I don't have to be beautiful, that my value is not tied to how much other people enjoy looking at me.

verytiredverymerry Report

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HooowlAtTheMoon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly, I don't care about whether I look 'beautiful' or not, I want it to be okay to not care if i look 'beautiful' or not

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#4

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Beauty Pagents

Chopper3 Report

#5

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic “Look at this adorable 4-year-old using a walker! So inspirational!”

“Awww, this guy asked a deaf girl to prom!”

“Watch this group of guys playing tackle football with a guy with Down syndrome!!”

“Check out this amazing blind kid walking down a street! Next level, yo!”

an_ineffable_plan Report

#6

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Proposing in front of a crowd. Puts a lot of pressure on the person being proposed to.

HeliosHeliodes , SpnkyHappy Report

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Ivo H
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, NEVER do that in public. Or (even worse) in front of family, or friends. The exception is, of course, if your spouse knows about it and agrees.

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#7

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Corporations who spend $50 million on ads to tell you about the amazing $1 million they spent on a charity program.

DeFex , Patrick Perkins Report

#8

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Toxic positivity. Like when someone's having a really hard time and you tell them to stay positive or try to look at the bright side. [Screw] you Jenny, my grandma died.

bluecatcollege , Johan Godínez Report

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IzzieM
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, people should stop doing this. Being supportive does not equate being positive. There's a difference.

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#9

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Instagram "influencers" promoting their "amazing" healthy lifestyles but in reality mostly staged/photoshopped and exacerbating mental illness, body issues, anxiety in young people.

forestcreature989 , kyliejenner Verified Report

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SoozeeQ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You can lead an Influencer to a dictionary, but you can't make them think". - James Weir

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#10

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Touching women’s bellies when they’re pregnant. You don’t go around patting a penis to congratulate it on its successful ejaculation. Damn.

Hellifaks , Junior REIS Report

#11

The pure existence of most modern dog breeds. Pugs, for example. We all think they’re super cute, but the truth is - they are extremely deformed and constantly suffering as a result of a century of inbreeding. A lot of people don’t know this, and it’s really sad. I’m not saying these dogs should be put down right now, just saying it would’ve been a better idea not to inbreed dogs for centuries.

Programmeter Report

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SoozeeQ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, and they shouldn't be allowed to continue to breed. Same with those munchkin cats. Poor little things can't breathe.

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#12

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Asking your child "Who's your boy/girlfriend?" any time they interact with someone of the opposite sex.

freakishfrenchhorn , Kevin Gent Report

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Eva the Egg
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! I hate it when people assume there's something going on when you're just hanging out with your friends

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#13

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Badgering people to have kids. No, I’m not going to magically change my mind when I meet the right girl.

Cultist902 , Marisa Howenstine Report

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Raine Soo
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Having children was never on my agenda. It's great for people who want them. But, you really need to know yourself because it is a lifetime commitment, and you can't give them back. Besides, not everyone is fit to be a parent.

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#14

Dads trying to be weirdly aggressive/threatening to their daughter's bfs.

Baby_Belugas Report

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Monday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"LOL I met my daughter's new boyfriend at the door with my shotgun, isn't that hilarious!". No John, it's not funny and if you ever do that to my hypothetical son again I'm calling the cops.

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#15

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Family vlogging

Vasa_Vasorum_ , The Moore The Merrier Vlogs Report

#16

Punking people with practical jokes that are fake traumatic incidents. There is absolutely nothing funny about witnessing a fake death, mortal injury or abuse and then discovering it was all an elaborate joke. It’s traumatizing.

serendipindy Report

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denzoren
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Youtubers..."It's a prank bro" is basically the lowest type of human.

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#17

As a former homeless person, I can't put into words how annoying the people who film themselves handing out food for a viral video with some emotional pop song overlaid on it are. It's 100% "look at me, look how cool and HELPFUL I am" while honestly not giving a real damn about the homeless. It'd be one thing if you're putting your fame and money back into funding a shelter, or true change and volunteering and charity efforts but not just dropping $20 on some McDonalds meals to drive around LA filming strangers sleeping on the street for a bit.

IniMiney Report

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Sue Hazlewood
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have given food and money to people on the street but it never occurred to me to photograph it. So damn tacky and insulting to the person you are giving to.

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#18

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Using your child for likes on social media, that's creepy I never understood why would any parent do that

Kashboii , Sai De Silva Report

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Raine Soo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's amazing the things people do for 'likes' on social media. Some people have died, trying to get the right photograph.

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#19

Abstinence and purity promise culture. Really [screws] people up for a long time when you teach them that:

A.) sex is dirty, bad and evil

B.) their worth as a person is tied to that purity

VonSnapp Report

#20

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Asking babies to hug and kiss people

Hills1849 , Mehdi Sepehri Report

#21

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Glorifying feeding animals into obesity

saladsnake34 , Mr TGT Report

#22

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic School fundraisers.

If the government can't give schools enough funds, then everything is wrong.

exec_director_doom , Jeffrey Hamilton Report

#23

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Repeatedly professing your love for someone after they tell you that they aren't interested.

The idea that you can "make" someone love you back if you just keep trying is rooted in toxicity, but romanticized in countless films and TV shows.

Clarpydarpy , Tyler Nix Report

#24

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Teachers giving up their Sick Days for some other teacher can have days off for Cancer Treatments.

Rubeclair702 , Sharon McCutcheon Report

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Raine Soo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sick days should be given freely to those who need them. There is no reason why cancer treatments should not qualify.

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#25

"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." In theory, I'm supposed to be a statement of unconditional love, but in reality it's just inviting toxic behavior with no way out

SlightlyArtichoke Report

#26

The idea that feeling anger makes you a bad person, or that you are obligated to forgive absolutely everyone who has hurt you.

ElectricYV Report

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King Joffrey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Feeling anger doesn't make you a bad person, displaying anger to people who haven't caused it does.

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#27

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Any viral story about some kid selling [stuff] to pay for a relatives healthcare.

natelopez53 Report

#28

Dolphins at SeaWorld and other family centers. They are generally all in a state of extreme mental health stress and have to be given drugs to keep them calm. In addition, the profits from capturing the best looking dolphins and selling them to these places fuel an annual dolphin hunt in Japan where the vast majority are sold for animal meat. It is a brutal practice where an extremely intelligent and sentient animal group is killed without painkillers in a slaughter.

DemocraticRepublic Report

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Raine Soo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This practice is awful, and I do not frequent these types of venues. Dolphins are not here to entertain us or provide us with food, particularly in such a brutal manner. I wish people could just simply appreciate them.

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#29

Receiving recognition for perfect attendance. My ass that you never got sick.

Negafox Report

#30

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Supporting someone no matter what choices they make. You can love someone to the ends of the earth, that doesn’t mean they will 100% be right all of the time, no matter how much you love or admire them.

Background-Pop9203 , Priscilla Du Preez Report

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Raine Soo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I absolutely support my best friend. But, I will tell her if something is stupid.

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#31

When people who are super spiritual and love love love all the time judge and ridicule you for not being in a good mood or for needing space. “You’re ruining the vibe” “this isn’t a hostile environment”- gaslighting is wrong and these people do it ALL THE TIME! I call them “the love police”.

Lizzwho Report

#32

Any kind of 'tough love'. "Other people have it worse" or "Kids should get bullied to toughen up" (Yes someone actually said this to me).

TheKingofHearts Report

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Raine Soo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom was very big on tough love. She would try to nag me into submission. All it did was build up my resentment toward her. Yes, there was backtalk from my part, which infuriated her even more. I laugh about it now, but trust me, I was a frustrated teenager and young adult.

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Heather Makemson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same. My mom had a seriously toxic anger issue and I grew up avoiding upsetting everyone around me as a young adult lest I invoke their wrath (it was a hot minute before I realized that not only is this unhealthy but not everyone is going to shred me to pieces for simply disagreeing with them)

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Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I grew up with the "toughen up, shut up" parent. To this day when people say stuff like, 'Well, your father thought you could handle it," I want to scream. Yes, others had it worse. Does that mean my broken ribs were okay?!

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Noemie Houtekie-N'Da
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My family is more like, you can handle it, don't cry and make a scene, but if you need help, we are with you every step of the way. I think that if they say that, they should apologize and try to help.

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Mimi777
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or “I suffered through XYZ and I turned out just fine so it’s no big deal if you suffer through it as well!”

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Leilani Feliciano
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Turned out just fine" and more often than not actually have undiagnosed mental health problems or severe rejection issues, etc.

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C.S. E.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Remember, someone else's pain or struggles absolutely do not negate the validity of yours. It's not a competition. Also, studies have shown that negative reinforcement absolutely DOES NOT WORK.

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Vorknkx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Translated: "Kids should be intentionally filled with bitterness and hate, so that they can live up to some made-up standard for toughness."

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Jace
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tough love is BULLLLLLSHIT! This is one of those poisonous pop-psychology myths/fads that got entrenched and is LOVED by the "bootstraps" and bullying types all the world over. This one is so toxic it deserves to be higher on the list, above the "fake animal rescue videos" one that I have never once heard of (and might be something blown out of proportion). This tough love bulllshit is WAY entrenched because it justifies the behavior of assholes, selfish shitheadded douchebagles, libertarians & republicans, entrepreneurs, and other aggressive and callous types who want to disclaim any responsibility for how their actions affect other human beings (usually because that's inconvenient for them, while walking on the backs of others, in their climbing and clawing for success). It's the perfect fake psychology meme to support their sociopathic "game theory" world view.

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Vivian Ingram
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is always someone who has it worse than you- someone in the US complains about how hard it is to be a woman and someone tells her at least you aren't in Iran or somewhere like that. The woman in Iran it told that at least she wasn't forced to get married at 13. The girl who was forced to get married at 13 is told at least her husband doesn't hit her. The girl who's husband abuses her is told that at least she isn't in Africa starving. The starving African girl is told that at least she doesn't have a bunch of siblings she has to care for as well. There is ALWAYS someone suffering more than you. That doesn't mean your suffering doesn't matter, or that it doesn't suck.

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Bisexual Tiger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom sometimes says that I should be bullied so I would care more about my appearence. *Shudder* It's a tough life...

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Funtime Taylor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have said to MYSELF "Stop crying over something so stupid, other people have it worse" and I realized that this is toxic (even though I continue to do so) and that it stems from my Dad trying to guilt trip me into doing something.

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Carol Emory
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not a fan of tough love, but I also don't believe in coddling your kids and protecting them from everything, including their own feelings. Teach them the realities of life early. That way you teach them to deal with life's ups and downs without popping a fuse.

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Eslamala
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No kid should get bullied, but every kid needs to know how to stand up for themselves and also not to be an ass to other kids. And yes, they should know some people have it worse, and others have it so much better, also. Kids can't be sheltered from everything all the time, you just have to find the right way to teach them these things.

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Nicole Robertson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When ever I am sad beacuse of my family and how they suck someone always tells me that other people have it worse and it makes me feel like my problems don't matter.

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Sans
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"The bully to toughen them up" does toughen them up (It happened to me) but it really destroys self esteem and overall sucks

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Lorelei
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I got bullied in grade school.I was asked if I wanted to ‘say something’ to the VERY CHILD that made of fun of me,laughed at me,and denoted my flaws.I said no.The after school worker got fired,because she made me cry. It’s ok to cry.THESE PEOPLE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THIS.

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Easily Excitable Panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tough love "academies" are the worst. Unless you want to scar your child for life, of course.

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Snake of Eden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, I'm working on this myself. I have always dismissed my own problems because I always think "Other people have it way worse", and in the end it just ends up hurting me.

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Mark Kelly
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When someone says it could be worse I say it could be better.

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Maggie Dinzler Shaw
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Totally. Nothing worse than dismissing someone's depression, grief or stress by comparing it to what others have. We are all different but we all need help processing these things and if the brain can't do it without some therapy, then we should get that or risk worse,

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Austin _drawz69
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The "other people have it worse" thing reminds me of when me and my siblings were being picky about food and our parents go "there are kids in Africa who can't eat anything, why dont you go live there?"

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Eliška Hůlková
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was a kid, I absolutely hated being told that other people have it worse, but now the thought is actually helping me to appreciate what I have.

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TheAnimalLady
Community Member
2 years ago

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Ben Smith
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But...other people do have it worse. Turns out the world doesn't revolve around you, so grow up and do something. Whining gets you nowhere.

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S. Tor Storm
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

thinking about how other people have it worse can be a good thing, tho.

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qwerty
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are you intentionally missing the point on every one of these?

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#33

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic All those fake animal rescue videos on YouTube.

Midlux Report

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AJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can't help thinking that when there's a demand for resque pets, doesn't that create supply of resque pets.

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#34

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Teachers working overtime/sacrificing for their students/fundraising for anything/etc. Most news articles that hit national headlines about teachers are toxic af.

"student raises money for his former teacher found living in a car"

"principal works 2nd job to help homeless students have clean clothes and food"

misterdudebro , airfocus Report

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Raine Soo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is just so sad. The education system should be properly funded by government, so there are less stories like these.

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#35

Spending so much time on social media to show everyone else how wholesome your life is.

sanchito88 Report

#36

Spouses being their partners EVERYTHING. it's okay to have other friends, actually it's even healthy to have a robust social life in which you get different things out of your relationships with different people

petticoatwar Report

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AJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Damn covid19 my partner has become about the only person I've seen in a year! Though we've agreed be both need a lot alone time now when neither of us barely have other relationships.

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#37

Baby onesies that say stuff. Some are innocent...a lot are not. I'm a first time mom to a 6mo son. My child is not here to make grandma feel like a "mother without rules". And keep that "chick magnet" [nonsense] outta my face.

hlfpint Report

#38

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic "We're all just one big family!"

If anyone tells you this in a workplace setting, run. They're only like a family in the sense of the most toxic parts of one that exploit you.

Andromeda321 Report

#39

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Youtube kids channels. The ones aimed at older audiences are literally better for a child than the kids ones.

cringyfrick , The Sean Ward Show Report

#40

News stories like "CEO sees employee dumpster diving for food and buys them a headlamp"

or

"Kid works manual labor to pay off school lunch debt for entire class"

Dire-Dog Report

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But they were actual headlines and they do reflect how twisted the US society has become. It's amusing for outsiders, it's very sad for people living in the US.

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