We live in a colorful world, no doubt about it. With so much information bombarding us every day, it’s easy to lose track of what’s really going on around us.
And by really, I mean that we often fail to pause and reflect on the dynamics of our modern society where people celebrate an inherently positive side of the world. But what if beneath its wholesome surface lies an underlying toxicity that feeds our delusions even further?
It sounds like one of those difficult thoughts that haunt us before falling asleep. But thanks to one Redditor who recently asked a seemingly basic question “What are 'wholesome' things that are actually toxic?” we now have some truly eye-opening answers. From family vlogging to animal rescue videos that are often totally fake, these are some examples to remind us to not take everything at face value.
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Not sure if it’s on here already, but I get super uncomfortable when a video of a classroom of kids giving the kid who “can’t afford new shoes” a brand new pair as a surprise. The entire culture of filming while doing kind things for people is so exploitive and gross and sad.
The expectation to keep your family members in your life no matter what they do. Some people have families that treat them like absolute [trash], and being related to them isn't a good reason to keep them around. It's ok to cut off toxic family members.
Body positivity like Dove's "Real Beauty" campaign. The idea that all women are beautiful sounds nice on the surface, but it's a gross message to send because beauty is still at the core of it. I don't want to be told that my body is beautiful too, I want to be told that I don't have to be beautiful, that my value is not tied to how much other people enjoy looking at me.
Exactly, I don't care about whether I look 'beautiful' or not, I want it to be okay to not care if i look 'beautiful' or not
“Look at this adorable 4-year-old using a walker! So inspirational!”
“Awww, this guy asked a deaf girl to prom!”
“Watch this group of guys playing tackle football with a guy with Down syndrome!!”
“Check out this amazing blind kid walking down a street! Next level, yo!”
Proposing in front of a crowd. Puts a lot of pressure on the person being proposed to.
Corporations who spend $50 million on ads to tell you about the amazing $1 million they spent on a charity program.
Toxic positivity. Like when someone's having a really hard time and you tell them to stay positive or try to look at the bright side. [Screw] you Jenny, my grandma died.
Instagram "influencers" promoting their "amazing" healthy lifestyles but in reality mostly staged/photoshopped and exacerbating mental illness, body issues, anxiety in young people.
Touching women’s bellies when they’re pregnant. You don’t go around patting a penis to congratulate it on its successful ejaculation. Damn.
The pure existence of most modern dog breeds. Pugs, for example. We all think they’re super cute, but the truth is - they are extremely deformed and constantly suffering as a result of a century of inbreeding. A lot of people don’t know this, and it’s really sad. I’m not saying these dogs should be put down right now, just saying it would’ve been a better idea not to inbreed dogs for centuries.
Asking your child "Who's your boy/girlfriend?" any time they interact with someone of the opposite sex.
Yes! I hate it when people assume there's something going on when you're just hanging out with your friends
Badgering people to have kids. No, I’m not going to magically change my mind when I meet the right girl.
Dads trying to be weirdly aggressive/threatening to their daughter's bfs.
Punking people with practical jokes that are fake traumatic incidents. There is absolutely nothing funny about witnessing a fake death, mortal injury or abuse and then discovering it was all an elaborate joke. It’s traumatizing.
As a former homeless person, I can't put into words how annoying the people who film themselves handing out food for a viral video with some emotional pop song overlaid on it are. It's 100% "look at me, look how cool and HELPFUL I am" while honestly not giving a real damn about the homeless. It'd be one thing if you're putting your fame and money back into funding a shelter, or true change and volunteering and charity efforts but not just dropping $20 on some McDonalds meals to drive around LA filming strangers sleeping on the street for a bit.
I have given food and money to people on the street but it never occurred to me to photograph it. So damn tacky and insulting to the person you are giving to.
Using your child for likes on social media, that's creepy I never understood why would any parent do that
Abstinence and purity promise culture. Really [screws] people up for a long time when you teach them that:
A.) sex is dirty, bad and evil
B.) their worth as a person is tied to that purity
School fundraisers.
If the government can't give schools enough funds, then everything is wrong.
Repeatedly professing your love for someone after they tell you that they aren't interested.
The idea that you can "make" someone love you back if you just keep trying is rooted in toxicity, but romanticized in countless films and TV shows.
Teachers giving up their Sick Days for some other teacher can have days off for Cancer Treatments.
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." In theory, I'm supposed to be a statement of unconditional love, but in reality it's just inviting toxic behavior with no way out
Every time I see someone quoting that, l run in the opposite direction
Remember to break the sound barrier in 3 seconds.
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Expecting unconditional love is also toxic. Basically asking people to love you no matter how abusive you get.
One of my high school teachers told us how she knew her partner was the one. She got food poisoning, puked all over him and he stayed with her the whole time she was in the hospital. She said "He saw me at my worst and still stayed and supported me, I knew he was the one"
i think it's meant to mean something more like "if you hate my face and judge me when I'm crying, then I don't want to hang around you when I'm smiling"
Sadly people mistreat this innocent quote and start saying it when they’re abusive because it’s still “love”
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I much prefer “love me, love my dog”. If the animal is happy and healthy, and the relationship between them isn’t either neglectful or obsessive, it tells me they’re a person who accepts the love, commitment, and responsibility having a pet entails. The same love, commitment, and responsibility being in a relationship with another human also entails.
Yes and no. Abuse should not be tolerated op is right. But it is also not good to abandon people as soon as they are great and happy. A lot of people leaves you if you aren’t happy or healthy because it is t comfortable.
That is also fair because the statement "I don't deserve you at your worst" also stands. If you aren't happy or healthy and I can't deal with it, I should walk away otherwise I'm going to suffer too. You should only stick with someone if you can actually handle it.
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I feel like that's a mixed bag. Like, it's important to have someone you can rely on if you're going through a tough time like you just lost a family member or you're having trouble at work but it's also important they people don't put up with abusive behavior because someone is nice sometimes.
I think it would be better to say, "If you can't hold my hand when times get rough, you don't deserve me when times are good." I was once with someone who was fantastic when it was all sunshine, lollipops. But, wouldn't even go to the funeral with me when my grandmother died. Or to the wake. Or, do ANYTHING to help me through it (I had been very close to my grandmother.)
In my opinion, if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you deserve a break from me, because I know that if I can’t handle myself, there is no way I can expect you to do it for me because my mental health is not your responsibility
Aging fine line between "my worst" and someone just being toxic. I've gone through a lot of stuff, seeing my parents divorced realizing my dad is a narcissistic sociopath, suicide, depression. The list goes on. And I wasn't a happy go lucky ray of fūķìñğ sunshine. None of my family was there to be a support to me. And the minute things became good they want to be a part of my life again. Fùçķ That. Now if you have someone in your life that is just a constant A$$ hat and makes excuses every time you call them out on there bullshit then yeah run the other direction.
Maybe they just meant their appearance. Like first thing in the morning after forgetting to take off makeup the night before, or all dolled up for a night on the town.
what i would say (since i have severe GAD and depression) is "if you can't handle me at my worst (in the middle of a breakdown) then I don't think this will work." and if they tel me they'll try hard to help, then I'll give them another chance
Am I the only one that agrees with this one? I know damn well that I can be a handful and a half sometimes. We all can. I just try my best to make it all worthwhile during good times. Calling this toxic is basically saying you're never allowed to have a bad day.
it puts pressure on the other person to ALWAYS help the other person out of situations no matter how much it happens because "they're at their worst". the other person has to be given boundaries and this quote invalidates them.
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I always have borderline combined with NPD feels about those. In truth though, i see few people actually using that quote.
Unconditional love has no place in adult relationships. I'm not your parent, and your treatment of me will affect my feelings for you.
If your best is a 10 your worst should be somewhere around a 7. If worst is a 1 or 2, then the best is not 10.
If you at your worst aren't at least mostly civil, YOU are the undeserving one.
I prefer "if you can't handle me at my worst, then you are in same boat as me because I can't handle this s**t either." OR "If you can't handle me at what you mistakenly believe to be my worst, then prepare to be unpleasantly surprised in the immediate future"
Agree. I love this variation of it: "IF YOU CANT HANDLE ME AT MY WORST THEN YOU SURE AS HELL deserve a break from me. my emotions are not ur responsibility, and i understand that u need to care for ur own mental health, & if i threaten its stability, theres no need to feel guilty. i know u did ur best" -- Jann (jann_jannele) on Twitter
If you can't be bothered to behave decent I don't want you around anyway.
If you can’t handle me at my worst, neither can I but at least you have a choice.
The idea that feeling anger makes you a bad person, or that you are obligated to forgive absolutely everyone who has hurt you.
Feeling anger doesn't make you a bad person, displaying anger to people who haven't caused it does.
Any viral story about some kid selling [stuff] to pay for a relatives healthcare.
Dolphins at SeaWorld and other family centers. They are generally all in a state of extreme mental health stress and have to be given drugs to keep them calm. In addition, the profits from capturing the best looking dolphins and selling them to these places fuel an annual dolphin hunt in Japan where the vast majority are sold for animal meat. It is a brutal practice where an extremely intelligent and sentient animal group is killed without painkillers in a slaughter.
Receiving recognition for perfect attendance. My ass that you never got sick.
Supporting someone no matter what choices they make. You can love someone to the ends of the earth, that doesn’t mean they will 100% be right all of the time, no matter how much you love or admire them.
When people who are super spiritual and love love love all the time judge and ridicule you for not being in a good mood or for needing space. “You’re ruining the vibe” “this isn’t a hostile environment”- gaslighting is wrong and these people do it ALL THE TIME! I call them “the love police”.
Any kind of 'tough love'. "Other people have it worse" or "Kids should get bullied to toughen up" (Yes someone actually said this to me).
My mom was very big on tough love. She would try to nag me into submission. All it did was build up my resentment toward her. Yes, there was backtalk from my part, which infuriated her even more. I laugh about it now, but trust me, I was a frustrated teenager and young adult.
Teachers working overtime/sacrificing for their students/fundraising for anything/etc. Most news articles that hit national headlines about teachers are toxic af.
"student raises money for his former teacher found living in a car"
"principal works 2nd job to help homeless students have clean clothes and food"
Spending so much time on social media to show everyone else how wholesome your life is.
Spouses being their partners EVERYTHING. it's okay to have other friends, actually it's even healthy to have a robust social life in which you get different things out of your relationships with different people
Baby onesies that say stuff. Some are innocent...a lot are not. I'm a first time mom to a 6mo son. My child is not here to make grandma feel like a "mother without rules". And keep that "chick magnet" [nonsense] outta my face.
some people are mad at having gay charecters in shows but will put baby girls in shat like this Screenshot...b3f9ed.png 
"We're all just one big family!"
If anyone tells you this in a workplace setting, run. They're only like a family in the sense of the most toxic parts of one that exploit you.
Youtube kids channels. The ones aimed at older audiences are literally better for a child than the kids ones.
News stories like "CEO sees employee dumpster diving for food and buys them a headlamp"
or
"Kid works manual labor to pay off school lunch debt for entire class"
But they were actual headlines and they do reflect how twisted the US society has become. It's amusing for outsiders, it's very sad for people living in the US.
Note: this post originally had 53 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
Can we go one day on BP without the "let's all sneer at someone else" posts, and just look at cute animals more?
Yes i need cute and happy and less angst pls BP. Even just for a day. Fine me funnily timed photos and naughty pets and cutie patoot animals etc
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hiring woman BECAUSE you have a quota of woman, racial people, people with disability. it suck. i need people with skill... not a skin color, or genre. SKILLS!!!
did you mean to say gender instead of genre? because if so, keep it as genre. it's more fun.
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I think people don't know what "Toxic" means. It's almost the way people misuse "Literally."
agreed. it's so overused the word itself aggravates me at this point.
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This is just my opinion, but I kind of think this post is toxic. The last thing we need is a list of things that make us angry/ more pointing fingers. I just want to see something positive, like cute little animals 😅
I disagree with about half of these. I believe, if anything, it's the intention behind the action that makes it toxic. Example: growing up in New Orleans, some schools needed funding so fundraising helped kids with essentials. Also I feel this quote: "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" is taken out of context. It's more having to deal with someone who is having a rough time such as perhaps losing a job and people leaving because of that.
Most of them aren't toxic. But yes why Publicize your charity? The write doesn't like it and the rest of us don't care because we have bigger things to worry about.
Downvote me to hell, I dont care, but kids that do amazing things that everyone should know how to do. Let me explain. There was an incident recently where a kid performed CPR on his sister to save her life. Which that's great. But that isnt the issue. The issue is the parents now knowing what do to. Everyone should know how to do CPR. But they didnt, which is the issue. And they also didnt see that the daughter was choking, which is worse. So the last thing was for the kid to save his sister's life. If the parents were just a little bit smarter, then there would be no story there. It's simply just a kid knowing what to do when the parents suck.
Posting a happy birthday message on social media but I have to be in all of the pictures with the birthday girl. Why can't they just be pics of the person with the birthday?
Some Youtube personality made a video about "uplifting" stories that are actually symptoms of major social ills (not unlike some if the entries on this list): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXpKvlFQxEs
title: toxic things that pretend to be wholesome ~~ content: WhY aMeRiCa SuCkS
This should be entitled. You don't feel you are offended enough...here is a list of things that will make you a hit at any party.
**The following was a rebuttal to Eslamala's highly downvoted comment which was moved to the lowest spot in this thread (so read hers B4U bash me): The kind of person who gives importance to anyone else's opinion... is normal. It's how we're conditioned and controlled from birth by our Love Bullies...and Capitalism. So belittling others for it is rude and hurtful.
For me, it's "I would die for my parent(s)" ... I doubt any parent would want to see their child sacrifice their future, especially after any sacrifices they may have already made for that child ... I don't know any parent that would put their child in that position ...
I have seen a few things that resembles hollywood actors and singers/artist.And yet,people worship them or find them cool.
yeah i would...also cause you just made this post about your problem instead of the actual post(no offence)
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Can we go one day on BP without the "let's all sneer at someone else" posts, and just look at cute animals more?
Yes i need cute and happy and less angst pls BP. Even just for a day. Fine me funnily timed photos and naughty pets and cutie patoot animals etc
Load More Replies... hiring woman BECAUSE you have a quota of woman, racial people, people with disability. it suck. i need people with skill... not a skin color, or genre. SKILLS!!!
did you mean to say gender instead of genre? because if so, keep it as genre. it's more fun.
Load More Replies... I think people don't know what "Toxic" means. It's almost the way people misuse "Literally."
agreed. it's so overused the word itself aggravates me at this point.
Load More Replies... This is just my opinion, but I kind of think this post is toxic. The last thing we need is a list of things that make us angry/ more pointing fingers. I just want to see something positive, like cute little animals 😅
I disagree with about half of these. I believe, if anything, it's the intention behind the action that makes it toxic. Example: growing up in New Orleans, some schools needed funding so fundraising helped kids with essentials. Also I feel this quote: "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" is taken out of context. It's more having to deal with someone who is having a rough time such as perhaps losing a job and people leaving because of that.
Most of them aren't toxic. But yes why Publicize your charity? The write doesn't like it and the rest of us don't care because we have bigger things to worry about.
Downvote me to hell, I dont care, but kids that do amazing things that everyone should know how to do. Let me explain. There was an incident recently where a kid performed CPR on his sister to save her life. Which that's great. But that isnt the issue. The issue is the parents now knowing what do to. Everyone should know how to do CPR. But they didnt, which is the issue. And they also didnt see that the daughter was choking, which is worse. So the last thing was for the kid to save his sister's life. If the parents were just a little bit smarter, then there would be no story there. It's simply just a kid knowing what to do when the parents suck.
Posting a happy birthday message on social media but I have to be in all of the pictures with the birthday girl. Why can't they just be pics of the person with the birthday?
Some Youtube personality made a video about "uplifting" stories that are actually symptoms of major social ills (not unlike some if the entries on this list): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXpKvlFQxEs
title: toxic things that pretend to be wholesome ~~ content: WhY aMeRiCa SuCkS
This should be entitled. You don't feel you are offended enough...here is a list of things that will make you a hit at any party.
**The following was a rebuttal to Eslamala's highly downvoted comment which was moved to the lowest spot in this thread (so read hers B4U bash me): The kind of person who gives importance to anyone else's opinion... is normal. It's how we're conditioned and controlled from birth by our Love Bullies...and Capitalism. So belittling others for it is rude and hurtful.
For me, it's "I would die for my parent(s)" ... I doubt any parent would want to see their child sacrifice their future, especially after any sacrifices they may have already made for that child ... I don't know any parent that would put their child in that position ...
I have seen a few things that resembles hollywood actors and singers/artist.And yet,people worship them or find them cool.
yeah i would...also cause you just made this post about your problem instead of the actual post(no offence)
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