We live in a colorful world, no doubt about it. With so much information bombarding us every day, it’s easy to lose track of what’s really going on around us.
And by really, I mean that we often fail to pause and reflect on the dynamics of our modern society where people celebrate an inherently positive side of the world. But what if beneath its wholesome surface lies an underlying toxicity that feeds our delusions even further?
It sounds like one of those difficult thoughts that haunt us before falling asleep. But thanks to one Redditor who recently asked a seemingly basic question “What are 'wholesome' things that are actually toxic?” we now have some truly eye-opening answers. From family vlogging to animal rescue videos that are often totally fake, these are some examples to remind us to not take everything at face value.
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Not sure if it’s on here already, but I get super uncomfortable when a video of a classroom of kids giving the kid who “can’t afford new shoes” a brand new pair as a surprise. The entire culture of filming while doing kind things for people is so exploitive and gross and sad.
The expectation to keep your family members in your life no matter what they do. Some people have families that treat them like absolute [trash], and being related to them isn't a good reason to keep them around. It's ok to cut off toxic family members.
Body positivity like Dove's "Real Beauty" campaign. The idea that all women are beautiful sounds nice on the surface, but it's a gross message to send because beauty is still at the core of it. I don't want to be told that my body is beautiful too, I want to be told that I don't have to be beautiful, that my value is not tied to how much other people enjoy looking at me.
Exactly, I don't care about whether I look 'beautiful' or not, I want it to be okay to not care if i look 'beautiful' or not
It’s the idea that beauty is tied to self worth that bothers me. Physical beauty is subjective, and our opinions of what we do and don’t find beautiful should mostly be kept to ourselves. There are people I don’t find beautiful, but why do they ever need to know that? And there are plenty of times that people don’t need to bothered by knowing that I do find them beautiful. But most importantly, your body’s physical appearance has no bearing on how you should be treated, or on how you treat others around you. Are you friendly? Let’s be friends. Are you professional? Let’s work together. Are you beautiful to me? Well, we’re not dating, so who the hell cares.
tes. How about women accomplishing things?.
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Your MIND and VALUES are more important than the features on your body.
Also the parent company of Dove does not endorse “all women are beautiful” in their other brand marketing campaigns so the message is disingenuous at best.
exactly. it's just a marketing slogan. they don't give AF
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YES SO MUCH THIS. Don't tell me I am beautiful (or ugly or anything in between). Respect me as a person, not oggle me as a body.
It makes one want to say 'Is there a particular reason you feel the need to comment on my body without my having asked your opinion?'
Load More Replies... What it should be about is accepting the body you currently inhabit. That doesn't mean you can't change, but it does mean that you start from a place of personal acceptance. Negative reinforcement or crap such as what S. Tor Storm said is not only unhelpful, but can start a terrible cycle. If you can't accept you are you are now, then when does one lose 'enough?' It's never enough, it's a slippery slope and nothing is ever good enough. Also, the negative connotations can, and does, also lead to severe medical bias. That is dangerous. "Thank you for informing me that I need to lose weight, doctor, I was unaware of that particular problem. However, as I'm attempting to rectify the situation in a safe manner, how about you help me with the issue I"m having AT THIS VERY MOMENT?!'
Respect the body you have, but don't let that make you complacent about its condition. NOT shaming people is good. Considering obesity normal is NOT good. We need a culture that says "you're not to be shamed for this, but you also should not be this way because it is unhealthy in the long term. Here are things to address the issue..."
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@S. Tor Storm F**k you! It is people like you that make people feel ashamed about their bodies! And so many people think it is normal to think like that because it has been ingrained in our society, if you think like that you are one of the worst people I have ever met, and BOTH my parents tried to kill me. Moral of the story don't be a maggot like S. Tor Storm.❤
I want to be know for so many things, but beauty isn't one of them. Why be proud of something I have very little control over, and which declines as I age? I mean seriously, someone says "wow, you look beautiful!" what's the logical response? "My ancestor's DNA thanks you for the compliment."? We don't do this to guys -- can you imagine a "Real Handsome" campaign?
Though I wholeheartedly agree, it seems there is a biological attraction to physical beauty. We as a species can TRY to minimize it, but it's PROBABLY always going to be a primary criteria of judging each other.
And if you don't find someone physically attractive, a soap commercial probably won't change that.
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YES! Beauty as a marker of value is s**t - and it doesn't get better by charitably calling everyone beautiful. I do have a mirror.
Yes! This is one that will be running around in my mind for quite a while.
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yeah.. don't try to sold: fat is beautiful... no it's not. it lead to health problem!
I actually kind of agree with you on that point. Being 300+ pounds is not "beautiful" it's just not, it's actually very unhealthy and it could lead to serious health problems. Now I'm not saying we shame anyone for being overweight, I just think that people need to find their own healthy weight and try to maintain it. My healthy weight is 150 because of my height, age and other factors but for some that's obese and that's ok. My weight is not and should not be the standard, the standard should be what your doctor tells you is healthy for YOU. Not me, not him, you. And that's still not a cure all, we do have people in wheelchairs and people who are disabled and people with eating disorders, again consult your doctor or a nutritionist (probably both) and see what you should do to help. And then we have people who are severely underweight because they don't want to be overweight, again they should consult doctors and nutritionists about what they should do because this is a complex (1/2)
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Its about changing the definition of beauty isn't it? Beauty is variable based on culture and personal constraints. These need changing to include everyone's definition of beauty.
Makes sense but I like to see all kinds of other ads where beauty is not the center message with people who would not have been in them 50 years ago.
Sadly, people do value people who are more beautiful, consciously or not.
If they think you are beautiful, you are beautiful the them. Let them say it all they want.
So, lots of studies on this. If you have a face that your brain reads as ‘baby’ (size of eyes, small nose, toothless cupid bow mouth) you will be perceived as a beauty.
mmmm...I think this person missed the message. Taken too literally. I think the message IS what you are saying it is not.
Exactly. Let's face it, male visual response to woman is largely tied to the male's estimation of mating potential. We're just primates with nice clothes after all. Male primates are big dumb sex/anger machines. Men need to exert a lot of effort to overcome their inherent lameness.
And yet, we are supposed to let these "big dumb sex/anger machines" run countries and corporations.
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Judging is always bad. BUT, body positive has a dangerous consequence of not understanding, that being overweight is actually meaning risk to your health. I AM overweight, and I don't give a ****, what people think, I just want to be and feel healthy, and that is my motivation to loose weight. :) All other overweight people, wish you be healthy! :)
The people being body-shamed and abused simply for the way they look, and the people who care about them. It goes both ways, too. I look like a Barbie doll without even trying and have suffered for it. Even avoiding makeup, jewelry and nice clothes doesn't stop men from harassing me with unwanted attention and abuse (if I dare say I don't want sex with them--stranger or not). I'm guessing no one bothers you and that's why you're so toxic about it.
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Lets not forget the old saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". I have a bigger issue with the societal view on what is and isn't beautiful.
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“Look at this adorable 4-year-old using a walker! So inspirational!”
“Awww, this guy asked a deaf girl to prom!”
“Watch this group of guys playing tackle football with a guy with Down syndrome!!”
“Check out this amazing blind kid walking down a street! Next level, yo!”
Proposing in front of a crowd. Puts a lot of pressure on the person being proposed to.
Corporations who spend $50 million on ads to tell you about the amazing $1 million they spent on a charity program.
Toxic positivity. Like when someone's having a really hard time and you tell them to stay positive or try to look at the bright side. [Screw] you Jenny, my grandma died.
Instagram "influencers" promoting their "amazing" healthy lifestyles but in reality mostly staged/photoshopped and exacerbating mental illness, body issues, anxiety in young people.
Touching women’s bellies when they’re pregnant. You don’t go around patting a penis to congratulate it on its successful ejaculation. Damn.
The pure existence of most modern dog breeds. Pugs, for example. We all think they’re super cute, but the truth is - they are extremely deformed and constantly suffering as a result of a century of inbreeding. A lot of people don’t know this, and it’s really sad. I’m not saying these dogs should be put down right now, just saying it would’ve been a better idea not to inbreed dogs for centuries.
Asking your child "Who's your boy/girlfriend?" any time they interact with someone of the opposite sex.
Yes! I hate it when people assume there's something going on when you're just hanging out with your friends
Badgering people to have kids. No, I’m not going to magically change my mind when I meet the right girl.
Dads trying to be weirdly aggressive/threatening to their daughter's bfs.
Punking people with practical jokes that are fake traumatic incidents. There is absolutely nothing funny about witnessing a fake death, mortal injury or abuse and then discovering it was all an elaborate joke. It’s traumatizing.
As a former homeless person, I can't put into words how annoying the people who film themselves handing out food for a viral video with some emotional pop song overlaid on it are. It's 100% "look at me, look how cool and HELPFUL I am" while honestly not giving a real damn about the homeless. It'd be one thing if you're putting your fame and money back into funding a shelter, or true change and volunteering and charity efforts but not just dropping $20 on some McDonalds meals to drive around LA filming strangers sleeping on the street for a bit.
I have given food and money to people on the street but it never occurred to me to photograph it. So damn tacky and insulting to the person you are giving to.
Using your child for likes on social media, that's creepy I never understood why would any parent do that
Abstinence and purity promise culture. Really [screws] people up for a long time when you teach them that:
A.) sex is dirty, bad and evil
B.) their worth as a person is tied to that purity
School fundraisers.
If the government can't give schools enough funds, then everything is wrong.
Repeatedly professing your love for someone after they tell you that they aren't interested.
The idea that you can "make" someone love you back if you just keep trying is rooted in toxicity, but romanticized in countless films and TV shows.
Teachers giving up their Sick Days for some other teacher can have days off for Cancer Treatments.
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." In theory, I'm supposed to be a statement of unconditional love, but in reality it's just inviting toxic behavior with no way out
Every time I see someone quoting that, l run in the opposite direction
The idea that feeling anger makes you a bad person, or that you are obligated to forgive absolutely everyone who has hurt you.
Feeling anger doesn't make you a bad person, displaying anger to people who haven't caused it does.
Any viral story about some kid selling [stuff] to pay for a relatives healthcare.
Dolphins at SeaWorld and other family centers. They are generally all in a state of extreme mental health stress and have to be given drugs to keep them calm. In addition, the profits from capturing the best looking dolphins and selling them to these places fuel an annual dolphin hunt in Japan where the vast majority are sold for animal meat. It is a brutal practice where an extremely intelligent and sentient animal group is killed without painkillers in a slaughter.
Receiving recognition for perfect attendance. My ass that you never got sick.
Supporting someone no matter what choices they make. You can love someone to the ends of the earth, that doesn’t mean they will 100% be right all of the time, no matter how much you love or admire them.
When people who are super spiritual and love love love all the time judge and ridicule you for not being in a good mood or for needing space. “You’re ruining the vibe” “this isn’t a hostile environment”- gaslighting is wrong and these people do it ALL THE TIME! I call them “the love police”.
Any kind of 'tough love'. "Other people have it worse" or "Kids should get bullied to toughen up" (Yes someone actually said this to me).
My mom was very big on tough love. She would try to nag me into submission. All it did was build up my resentment toward her. Yes, there was backtalk from my part, which infuriated her even more. I laugh about it now, but trust me, I was a frustrated teenager and young adult.
Teachers working overtime/sacrificing for their students/fundraising for anything/etc. Most news articles that hit national headlines about teachers are toxic af.
"student raises money for his former teacher found living in a car"
"principal works 2nd job to help homeless students have clean clothes and food"
Spending so much time on social media to show everyone else how wholesome your life is.
Spouses being their partners EVERYTHING. it's okay to have other friends, actually it's even healthy to have a robust social life in which you get different things out of your relationships with different people
Baby onesies that say stuff. Some are innocent...a lot are not. I'm a first time mom to a 6mo son. My child is not here to make grandma feel like a "mother without rules". And keep that "chick magnet" [nonsense] outta my face.
some people are mad at having gay charecters in shows but will put baby girls in shat like this Screenshot...b3f9ed.png 
"We're all just one big family!"
If anyone tells you this in a workplace setting, run. They're only like a family in the sense of the most toxic parts of one that exploit you.
Youtube kids channels. The ones aimed at older audiences are literally better for a child than the kids ones.
News stories like "CEO sees employee dumpster diving for food and buys them a headlamp"
or
"Kid works manual labor to pay off school lunch debt for entire class"
But they were actual headlines and they do reflect how twisted the US society has become. It's amusing for outsiders, it's very sad for people living in the US.
Note: this post originally had 53 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
Can we go one day on BP without the "let's all sneer at someone else" posts, and just look at cute animals more?
Yes i need cute and happy and less angst pls BP. Even just for a day. Fine me funnily timed photos and naughty pets and cutie patoot animals etc
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hiring woman BECAUSE you have a quota of woman, racial people, people with disability. it suck. i need people with skill... not a skin color, or genre. SKILLS!!!
did you mean to say gender instead of genre? because if so, keep it as genre. it's more fun.
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I think people don't know what "Toxic" means. It's almost the way people misuse "Literally."
agreed. it's so overused the word itself aggravates me at this point.
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This is just my opinion, but I kind of think this post is toxic. The last thing we need is a list of things that make us angry/ more pointing fingers. I just want to see something positive, like cute little animals 😅
I disagree with about half of these. I believe, if anything, it's the intention behind the action that makes it toxic. Example: growing up in New Orleans, some schools needed funding so fundraising helped kids with essentials. Also I feel this quote: "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" is taken out of context. It's more having to deal with someone who is having a rough time such as perhaps losing a job and people leaving because of that.
Most of them aren't toxic. But yes why Publicize your charity? The write doesn't like it and the rest of us don't care because we have bigger things to worry about.
Downvote me to hell, I dont care, but kids that do amazing things that everyone should know how to do. Let me explain. There was an incident recently where a kid performed CPR on his sister to save her life. Which that's great. But that isnt the issue. The issue is the parents now knowing what do to. Everyone should know how to do CPR. But they didnt, which is the issue. And they also didnt see that the daughter was choking, which is worse. So the last thing was for the kid to save his sister's life. If the parents were just a little bit smarter, then there would be no story there. It's simply just a kid knowing what to do when the parents suck.
Posting a happy birthday message on social media but I have to be in all of the pictures with the birthday girl. Why can't they just be pics of the person with the birthday?
Some Youtube personality made a video about "uplifting" stories that are actually symptoms of major social ills (not unlike some if the entries on this list): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXpKvlFQxEs
title: toxic things that pretend to be wholesome ~~ content: WhY aMeRiCa SuCkS
This should be entitled. You don't feel you are offended enough...here is a list of things that will make you a hit at any party.
**The following was a rebuttal to Eslamala's highly downvoted comment which was moved to the lowest spot in this thread (so read hers B4U bash me): The kind of person who gives importance to anyone else's opinion... is normal. It's how we're conditioned and controlled from birth by our Love Bullies...and Capitalism. So belittling others for it is rude and hurtful.
For me, it's "I would die for my parent(s)" ... I doubt any parent would want to see their child sacrifice their future, especially after any sacrifices they may have already made for that child ... I don't know any parent that would put their child in that position ...
I have seen a few things that resembles hollywood actors and singers/artist.And yet,people worship them or find them cool.
yeah i would...also cause you just made this post about your problem instead of the actual post(no offence)
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Can we go one day on BP without the "let's all sneer at someone else" posts, and just look at cute animals more?
Yes i need cute and happy and less angst pls BP. Even just for a day. Fine me funnily timed photos and naughty pets and cutie patoot animals etc
Load More Replies... hiring woman BECAUSE you have a quota of woman, racial people, people with disability. it suck. i need people with skill... not a skin color, or genre. SKILLS!!!
did you mean to say gender instead of genre? because if so, keep it as genre. it's more fun.
Load More Replies... I think people don't know what "Toxic" means. It's almost the way people misuse "Literally."
agreed. it's so overused the word itself aggravates me at this point.
Load More Replies... This is just my opinion, but I kind of think this post is toxic. The last thing we need is a list of things that make us angry/ more pointing fingers. I just want to see something positive, like cute little animals 😅
I disagree with about half of these. I believe, if anything, it's the intention behind the action that makes it toxic. Example: growing up in New Orleans, some schools needed funding so fundraising helped kids with essentials. Also I feel this quote: "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" is taken out of context. It's more having to deal with someone who is having a rough time such as perhaps losing a job and people leaving because of that.
Most of them aren't toxic. But yes why Publicize your charity? The write doesn't like it and the rest of us don't care because we have bigger things to worry about.
Downvote me to hell, I dont care, but kids that do amazing things that everyone should know how to do. Let me explain. There was an incident recently where a kid performed CPR on his sister to save her life. Which that's great. But that isnt the issue. The issue is the parents now knowing what do to. Everyone should know how to do CPR. But they didnt, which is the issue. And they also didnt see that the daughter was choking, which is worse. So the last thing was for the kid to save his sister's life. If the parents were just a little bit smarter, then there would be no story there. It's simply just a kid knowing what to do when the parents suck.
Posting a happy birthday message on social media but I have to be in all of the pictures with the birthday girl. Why can't they just be pics of the person with the birthday?
Some Youtube personality made a video about "uplifting" stories that are actually symptoms of major social ills (not unlike some if the entries on this list): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXpKvlFQxEs
title: toxic things that pretend to be wholesome ~~ content: WhY aMeRiCa SuCkS
This should be entitled. You don't feel you are offended enough...here is a list of things that will make you a hit at any party.
**The following was a rebuttal to Eslamala's highly downvoted comment which was moved to the lowest spot in this thread (so read hers B4U bash me): The kind of person who gives importance to anyone else's opinion... is normal. It's how we're conditioned and controlled from birth by our Love Bullies...and Capitalism. So belittling others for it is rude and hurtful.
For me, it's "I would die for my parent(s)" ... I doubt any parent would want to see their child sacrifice their future, especially after any sacrifices they may have already made for that child ... I don't know any parent that would put their child in that position ...
I have seen a few things that resembles hollywood actors and singers/artist.And yet,people worship them or find them cool.
yeah i would...also cause you just made this post about your problem instead of the actual post(no offence)
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