Woman Shares Things That Are OK And Not OK To Say To Other Women That Live Different Lives
Women often find themselves in lose-lose situations when it comes to living the lifestyle they want. Those who are more outspoken about their sexuality or are less conservative will get called derogatory terms and told to cover up; on the other side of the spectrum women who are more conservative will be called ‘prudes.’
Writer delafro_ took to Twitter to speak on this issue, addressing women on how they speak to one another. Misogyny abounds among men, but there is something even more distressing about women putting each other down. In her thread, she tackled how we can express our lifestyle choices without belittling others, and it is a must read.
Writer delafro_ took to Twitter to address how women belittle each other for their lifestyle choices
Image credits: delafro_
Image credits: delafro_
She explained that you can live your life however you want without putting down others who don’t make the same choices
Image credits: delafro_
And provided examples on the ‘ok’ and ‘not ok’ ways to speak to each other
Image credits: delafro_
Image credits: delafro_
Image credits: delafro_
Image credits: delafro_
At the end she made it clear that the same went for both sides of the lifestyle spectrum
Image credits: delafro_
Image credits: delafro_
Image credits: delafro_
Image credits: delafro_
Image credits: delafro_
Meredith Fuller author of Working with Bitches and vocational psychologist identified three main reasons women are nasty to other women: “Because they project their unwanted parts onto the other women — especially their fear, envy, jealousy, suspicion, resentment, rage, anxiety, or lack of self-esteem and confidence; Because they can get away with it — as a sport, fun, panacea to boredom, delight in spite, or because their lack of curiosity/tolerance of difference suggests they probably don’t like people anyway; Because they don’t have the interpersonal and intrapersonal communication skills to recognize or alter their behavior.”
Most of the people in the comments stood behind her powerful message
Joyce Benenson spent thirty years researching competition between the sexes and concluded that evolution designed women to be more competitive than men. Due to a combination of social, psychological and biological factors, women hold a more fearsome survival instinct. Benenson explains that women must disguise these competitive strategies due to the system in which we operate, which is why they appear in less overt ways.
So how do women fight biology? Barbara Markway, a clinical psychologist, author and founder of The Self-Compassion Project, has these words of wisdom: ‘Don’t blame yourself. We are instinctively hard-wired for survival. The key is to pause before we act out of this mode.’
My only concern is not the women that cook and clean for their man or are conservative and cover up...do what you want. But I do have a problem with a woman whose desire to do so comes from a submissive lack of self esteem and that they set themselves up for abusive relationships. There's doing everything for your man because seeing him happy makes you happy. It's another thing to do everything for your man because seeing him happy is safer than him not being happy.
This issue is really highlighted when working with women in underdeveloped countries. There are often laws that prohibit women from owning land and the women agree with the laws. Laws and cultures really shape our ideas of what is right and what is wrong so when a culture you grow up in teaches you to belittle yourself or view yourself as less than, do we as the greater society accept that? Do we say it is fine if the women are willing or agree even if their reasoning is that was the way they were raised? On the other hand, there are also issues with belittling someone's culture because you don't agree with their ideas or values. The whole situation is sticky.
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Agreed, and I'm not sure why his comment was included as it really has nothing to do with the article. Maybe BP thought "it's not cringey enough, let's throw in something that'll p**s people off"
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OK: Do you have kids? / Not OK: Why? / True story. Then, with literally no information about myself, my life, my age, anything - she proceeded, in a dead serious self-righteous way, to lecture me on how I should hurry up to have kids before I grow too old. Mind your own uterus, really.
So, short version: Be respectful and courteous. Wow. Who'd'a thunk it?
Am always disappointed with comments like "women" need to stand together, can't it be "humans" stand together. Makes me think women would love to live on their own planet at a certain time. Like alone. If it's about equality and equity, then I think it's better to a whole some solution rather than being one sided!
I just waiting for some awesome guy to post "I am not a Crooke!" You know, just for the pun of it.
She is so right. It is good that she has spoken out like this. Even 1st world countries are not quite equal yet, but getting better every day, thanks to action. From your Australian friend.
You're asking people to show compassion. This past year has shown us that many people would rather claw their own eyes out.
This is a nonsense issue, why is this Twitter thread so popular? Most of this stuff is common sense, don't be an arsehole and hold your mouth unless someone asks you for an opinion. There's no need to say that you don't care and list of things that you think are bad, it seems very holier than thou.
OK: Try to understand what people really mean if you feel offended. If your not able to understand something you don't like. Then focus on something else and ignore it. Not okay: Telling people how to talk/ which words they should use. Ok: Change your view about things you can not change. Not okay: Try to changes things you can not change.
Is it ok for women to say, "I prefer not to vaccinate my kids because research has convinced me not to" because she's not saying, "You dumb people who are vaccinating your kids are killing them! Measles is just acne!" Sorry, but sometimes you gotta call a dumb person out, man or woman. And also, being a maid and servant to your husband is one thing if you prefer to do that if it's your fetish, but to post online that you *should* do it will undoubtedly influence other idiots and she should be called out. Politeness is not an all access pass to be an idiot.
I was a single parent (2 kids) on & off for most of my life. I worked my a*s off and provided a nice life for us. When my ex & I were together it was always up to me to provide the "reliable" income (he was a mechanic and it was always feast or famine) and medical insurance. I met my current partner 12 years ago and we have slowly evolved into a 1950's type marriage. He works and makes all the money & I do basically everything else. (I haven't been physically well for a few years now). This is what works for us. He has never taken me for granted and always shows his appreciation for my taking care of him and our home. Every single night after dinner he thanks me (even if I have him run & grab burgers, he still says thanks for letting me buy burgers). He's an absolute sweetheart and my family loves him. They understand the nature of our relationship and they accept that it's our choice. I don't give two shits what anyone else might think about it.
Ladies, live your lives however you see fit. As long as you GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LAWN!
Women, lets protect each other. Stand together and lift each other up! Dress may be a choice for their faith , it sill isn't something to destroy by other men. We need to teach our men children what is right, and kind, how to treat women and support them, and we meed to do rhe same for them. There is so much strength in numbers for women! Lets get it together and use that strength! To make our lives better! Improve rape laws, the laws that make our bodies our own! Otherwise, we all suffer, and then We are back in the time where women were just property. NO! LETS SHOW WE CAN SUPPORT ALL WOMEN ALL THE TIME. A kind word, a little love, makes bing women wonderful! Lets make women great! Love each other!
We are too close to letting men decide what we can do with our bodies, again! Lets show them strength in numbers , that woem matter! Take our power as women back! Work together, share kindness and compliments. How to be strong in the right way. Interestingly enough, i learned this from watching My big fat gypsy wedding... how yu dress is NOT an invitation to sex or unwanted touching. Its the way they like to dress, and their men will protect and defend that right, and them 24 hours a day, forever! They may look like tarts or what ever we think of as loose women, but they are the exact opposite. Virgins until They marry. Then thy still dress sexy and fun. Like we all wish we could sometimes! But.. its a choice they have and like, and the men protect. Non Romany men, just see it as an invitation to defile and kick them down. NO! They do this to ALL women and ot is not right! They still think women belong to them, like slaves. The rare and few who don't, we need to empower them!
We are women! We have so much power and empowering to give to each other, young and old! It doesn't have to be nasty. Envy is a strong and nasty tool to use. Lets not. Young girls need to know this power young. We are stronger together. Helping each other gets us what we need and want. Girlfriends We can trust. To have our backs, share with , comfort us and who we can comfort in return. Lets build each other up. Strength in women is sexy and kind. Beautiful and smart.
Live the way you want to live and stop preaching to others in either direction.
Yup. I fully agree. Feminism is about a woman's right to choose how she wants to live.
Thank you. Women should empower each other. If something is not for you, move on. People should be able to live their lives the way that is right for them, not me. Rule of thumb: Do not give unsolicited advice. I am 53 and have seen this played throughout my entire life. These days everyone is getting offended by everything, especially issues and choices that do not affect them. Learn to coexist ladies. Empower each other.
Amused by the contradiction in your comment where you said do not give unsolicited advise which in itself was unsolicited advise an oxymoron if you will
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My only concern is not the women that cook and clean for their man or are conservative and cover up...do what you want. But I do have a problem with a woman whose desire to do so comes from a submissive lack of self esteem and that they set themselves up for abusive relationships. There's doing everything for your man because seeing him happy makes you happy. It's another thing to do everything for your man because seeing him happy is safer than him not being happy.
This issue is really highlighted when working with women in underdeveloped countries. There are often laws that prohibit women from owning land and the women agree with the laws. Laws and cultures really shape our ideas of what is right and what is wrong so when a culture you grow up in teaches you to belittle yourself or view yourself as less than, do we as the greater society accept that? Do we say it is fine if the women are willing or agree even if their reasoning is that was the way they were raised? On the other hand, there are also issues with belittling someone's culture because you don't agree with their ideas or values. The whole situation is sticky.
Load More Replies... Agreed, and I'm not sure why his comment was included as it really has nothing to do with the article. Maybe BP thought "it's not cringey enough, let's throw in something that'll p**s people off"
Load More Replies... OK: Do you have kids? / Not OK: Why? / True story. Then, with literally no information about myself, my life, my age, anything - she proceeded, in a dead serious self-righteous way, to lecture me on how I should hurry up to have kids before I grow too old. Mind your own uterus, really.
So, short version: Be respectful and courteous. Wow. Who'd'a thunk it?
Am always disappointed with comments like "women" need to stand together, can't it be "humans" stand together. Makes me think women would love to live on their own planet at a certain time. Like alone. If it's about equality and equity, then I think it's better to a whole some solution rather than being one sided!
I just waiting for some awesome guy to post "I am not a Crooke!" You know, just for the pun of it.
She is so right. It is good that she has spoken out like this. Even 1st world countries are not quite equal yet, but getting better every day, thanks to action. From your Australian friend.
You're asking people to show compassion. This past year has shown us that many people would rather claw their own eyes out.
This is a nonsense issue, why is this Twitter thread so popular? Most of this stuff is common sense, don't be an arsehole and hold your mouth unless someone asks you for an opinion. There's no need to say that you don't care and list of things that you think are bad, it seems very holier than thou.
OK: Try to understand what people really mean if you feel offended. If your not able to understand something you don't like. Then focus on something else and ignore it. Not okay: Telling people how to talk/ which words they should use. Ok: Change your view about things you can not change. Not okay: Try to changes things you can not change.
Is it ok for women to say, "I prefer not to vaccinate my kids because research has convinced me not to" because she's not saying, "You dumb people who are vaccinating your kids are killing them! Measles is just acne!" Sorry, but sometimes you gotta call a dumb person out, man or woman. And also, being a maid and servant to your husband is one thing if you prefer to do that if it's your fetish, but to post online that you *should* do it will undoubtedly influence other idiots and she should be called out. Politeness is not an all access pass to be an idiot.
I was a single parent (2 kids) on & off for most of my life. I worked my a*s off and provided a nice life for us. When my ex & I were together it was always up to me to provide the "reliable" income (he was a mechanic and it was always feast or famine) and medical insurance. I met my current partner 12 years ago and we have slowly evolved into a 1950's type marriage. He works and makes all the money & I do basically everything else. (I haven't been physically well for a few years now). This is what works for us. He has never taken me for granted and always shows his appreciation for my taking care of him and our home. Every single night after dinner he thanks me (even if I have him run & grab burgers, he still says thanks for letting me buy burgers). He's an absolute sweetheart and my family loves him. They understand the nature of our relationship and they accept that it's our choice. I don't give two shits what anyone else might think about it.
Ladies, live your lives however you see fit. As long as you GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LAWN!
Women, lets protect each other. Stand together and lift each other up! Dress may be a choice for their faith , it sill isn't something to destroy by other men. We need to teach our men children what is right, and kind, how to treat women and support them, and we meed to do rhe same for them. There is so much strength in numbers for women! Lets get it together and use that strength! To make our lives better! Improve rape laws, the laws that make our bodies our own! Otherwise, we all suffer, and then We are back in the time where women were just property. NO! LETS SHOW WE CAN SUPPORT ALL WOMEN ALL THE TIME. A kind word, a little love, makes bing women wonderful! Lets make women great! Love each other!
We are too close to letting men decide what we can do with our bodies, again! Lets show them strength in numbers , that woem matter! Take our power as women back! Work together, share kindness and compliments. How to be strong in the right way. Interestingly enough, i learned this from watching My big fat gypsy wedding... how yu dress is NOT an invitation to sex or unwanted touching. Its the way they like to dress, and their men will protect and defend that right, and them 24 hours a day, forever! They may look like tarts or what ever we think of as loose women, but they are the exact opposite. Virgins until They marry. Then thy still dress sexy and fun. Like we all wish we could sometimes! But.. its a choice they have and like, and the men protect. Non Romany men, just see it as an invitation to defile and kick them down. NO! They do this to ALL women and ot is not right! They still think women belong to them, like slaves. The rare and few who don't, we need to empower them!
We are women! We have so much power and empowering to give to each other, young and old! It doesn't have to be nasty. Envy is a strong and nasty tool to use. Lets not. Young girls need to know this power young. We are stronger together. Helping each other gets us what we need and want. Girlfriends We can trust. To have our backs, share with , comfort us and who we can comfort in return. Lets build each other up. Strength in women is sexy and kind. Beautiful and smart.
Live the way you want to live and stop preaching to others in either direction.
Yup. I fully agree. Feminism is about a woman's right to choose how she wants to live.
Thank you. Women should empower each other. If something is not for you, move on. People should be able to live their lives the way that is right for them, not me. Rule of thumb: Do not give unsolicited advice. I am 53 and have seen this played throughout my entire life. These days everyone is getting offended by everything, especially issues and choices that do not affect them. Learn to coexist ladies. Empower each other.
Amused by the contradiction in your comment where you said do not give unsolicited advise which in itself was unsolicited advise an oxymoron if you will
Load More Replies... 
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