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For many kids, school is like a second home as they spend so much time there, get to hang out with friends and explore what their interests are. So sometimes they feel so comfortable at school that they forget that it is actually an academic institution and some things should stay at home.

Sometimes kids bring the weirdest things to school they weren't supposed to and teachers have to confiscate them for safety reasons. Reddit user GlytchedTTV wanted to know from teachers “What was the worst thing you had to confiscate from a student?” and there were some surprising answers.

What surprised you the most in this list? Do you have an interesting story that would fit into the thread? Share it with us in the comments and upvote the stories you liked the most.

More info: Reddit

#1

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered I had to confiscate a sea bass from a student who had brought it in to use in the playground at break time...he was walking around slapping people in the face with it and challenging them to a duel..

FearlessPressure3 , morebyless Report

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GoddessOdd
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am wondering where he got the sea bass. You don't usually just have those lying around...

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Milady Blue
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Watches too much Monty Python, and brought it to do the Fish Slapping Dance?

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Henry Russell
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

in guessing the next day you had to confiscate two sea basses because they were having a duel

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Kalmar
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Slappeth! Thou accept my slappity challenge? *slapslap *

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Heather W
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And I flashed to Monty Python and the fish slapping dance...

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kjorn
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

the classic Mirc: Steve slaps Sam around a bit with a large trout

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James016
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have an image in my head of a child demanding satisfaction and then...SLAP

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Linda Hayden
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a 5th grade student who had her head in her desk frequently throughout the day. When I finally asked her to show me what was in there, she brought out a paper bag with a dead rat in it.

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Ronnie Beaton
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can think of a great many people who would benefit from being smacked in the face with a sea bass.

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Lene
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like the kid just found out aboutt Month Python....

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ravn
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, if you let them drink scotch in class then this kind of thing is going to happen occasionally...

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Naesil
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

/me slaps @boredpanda around a bit with a large trout

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MMcD
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone else immediately think of MPFCircus? https://youtu.be/T8XeDvKqI4E

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c1nd3r.bl0ck_
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this kid is a legend, i would like to duel him sometime and learn the wisdom of his fish-slapping ways

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Daniel Cadman
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In south africa we say ... "ek gaan jou slaan met ń pap snoek"... translated directly i will hit you with a old soggy fish

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Sinéad Quinn
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is hysterical on so many levels. How did the kids parents not notice?!

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Missy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This child needs to be patted on the back for being awesome. Period.

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Mistralok
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know exactly why, but this brings the Marx Brothers to mind.

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Ray Carrillo
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Monty Python exposure early in development of humor. This is the result.

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#2

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered My mom has had stories about what's she's confiscated from lower elementary aged students (K-3). The usual prank items like woopie cushions, sure. But one time a student was playing with this weird box. The box was locked. So she couldn't put it in the confiscated bin. She put it on top of a cabinet. About an hour later, it starts ringing. Furiously. It took some doing to get the box open.

Turns out, this kid's parent was a professional chef. So the kid had grabbed every timer in the house, set them for the max amount of time, locked the box, brought it to school, and played with it so it would get confiscated and ring loudly. Whole class erupted with laughter and screaming. A true agent of chaos

Cathy-the-Grand , garlandcannon Report

#3

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered My teacher took my gold nasa pen I got for my birthday because "it wasn't fair to the other students", I never got it back

jaciviridae , Caleb Bond Report

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#4

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered My wife is a teacher and one of her first graders brought her 2 hard seltzers because her mom said they’re good after a long day and she deserved them

Nocreativeability , Mike Mozart Report

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May
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's sweet! Even though I'm guessing hard seltzers have alcohol in them?

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#5

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered A chihuahua- a 1st grader had slipped it into his backpack while waiting on the bus to pick him up. Poor thing was just quietly sitting in his backpack that was on a hook in the hallway.

sushiluva7050 , kaelin Report

#6

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered Preschool teacher here. I had to convince a 4 year old that his mom's wedding ring should go into a special box on the front desk instead of on the finger of a six year old girl he had a crush on.

Later he brought in his dad's car keys, and a bottle opener.

Luka-the-Pooka , Patrick Byrne Report

#7

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered My mom told me that a kid in elementary school came to the school with a bag so the teacher took a look and there was a baby in it. The girl wanted to show her friends her little brother. The baby vomited all over himself and the parents didn’t even notice that their 1 week child was missing.

lawsuy , 2benny Report

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#8

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered I had to confiscate hand sanitizer from a student who decided to drink it to get drunk and threw up EVERYWHERE.

astrobre , Counselman Collection Report

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May
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank God they threw it up - much less risk of methanol poisoning

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#9

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered Once we got confiscated a pineapple that all the boys would worship.

Nik9200 , Vegan Feast CateringFollow Report

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Kookamunga
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They have renounced Catholicism and are now practicing Pineapplists. They watch a lot of Spongebob.

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#10

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered Not the worst but definitely my favorite. I taught 4th graders and saw a couple of them passing around a sheet of paper to each other instead of doing what they were supposed to be doing. I took the note from them and one of the kids' faces looked as if her life was over and she started crying and begged me not to look at it. I unfolded it to see what they were writing about. The note was filled with drawings of cartoon butts and they told me they wanted to have a contest to see who was the best at drawing butts.

mjab97 , maxpixel. Report

#11

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered When I taught grade 2 a kid managed to bring a live wild badger in a box. It promply escaped and we had to evacuate while animal control was called. The kid's parents had no idea how he caught a badger, and he never told us where he got it.

Leprechan_Sushi , John Campbell Report

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#12

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered Kindergarten, studying butterfly life cycles. Little guy brings in a “chrysalis” he found on the porch of his house. A doobie, the kid brought me a doobie and wanted us to see how long it would take to turn into a butterfly.

TheMagicallyMacabre , Michelle Grewe Report

#13

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered Most dangerous: a knife from an 8th grader.

Most annoying: different school than above, but a wifi jammer and a USB killing device from an 8th grader.

CageyRabbit , Rocco Report

#14

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered Worst thing: bullets. From a first grader. Had to do a room clear to look for a gun.

Best thing: a cat a high school student brought in their backpack, haha.

Substantial_Peace707 , kinggrl Report

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Levi Mittman
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The cat had better gotten back to its owner (if the cat was part of the kids family, hopefully it was taken back home)

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#15

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered Not a teacher but in 2nd grade I had a clay dinosaur project confiscated from me by the teacher who assigned the project. I think it was because I wouldn’t stop playing with it. I never got it back.

Looking back it makes sense that I couldn’t stop playing with it. I’m a full time ceramic artist.

Uyulala88 , Jody McIntyreFollow Report

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GoddessOdd
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think you should have gotten it back. I am old, but even back in those simpler times, when teachers confiscated things you got them back. Sometimes your parents were required to come to school and pick it up, sometimes you had to wait until end of term, but all items were returned.

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#16

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered The weirdest one was definitely the fish in a vase they found during locker checks. It was in an unassigned locker someone had added a lock to. Inside was a live Betta fish in about as large a vase as you can fit in a locker. Fully decorated. Someone had clipped a little book light to the top of the vase presumably so fish wasn't in the dark all the time. No one claimed to know whose if was or how long it had been there so it lived in the coaches office for at least that year.

Polyf**kery , Christine Cavalier Report

#17

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered Ear piercing gun. Had to stop them from piercing each others ears during lunch

grimberlyplace , Fiona Henderson Report

#18

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered I taught 1st grade and confiscated a piece of a broken beer bottle from a 6 yr old. It really surprised me, because he was the sweetest kid. Turns out another classmate asked him to bring a weapon and hide it in the playground sand, so that he could get back at another kid. I tried to do more life lesson things than suspension for both boys, bc they’re freakin 6, but school policy had them both suspended for a few days.

No_Fondant_5030 , Stefan van Bremen Report

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GoddessOdd
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the little boy must be the sweetest, to try and help his friend that way, even if it was the wrong way.

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#19

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered A styrofoam head that some boys had drawn a smile on and scooped out some eye holes. It had a name and they took it to every class. It got old and shabby and so did the joke so I put it out of its misery.

Great staff room trophy though

eggbert_217 , Eric Sonstroem Report

#20

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered A gorilla mask...yes...dude put it on while my back was turned and facing the board. I laughed like hell then took it for the day until his parents collected it.

RanjitKumarSingh , Roger Ahlbrand Report

#21

A 6 pack of beer from a second grader. In her defense, she was going to share it on the field trip that day.

SANwife Report

#22

A Coors Light that the child had mistaken for a Diet Coke. The student was mortified. I just giggled. The principal kept it for “evidence”. He kept it in the refrigerator in his office until it “disappeared” one day.

dwhitesciguy Report

#23

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered Once our philosophy teacher got mad and confiscated our recently captured grasshopper because we named him "Aristotle"

elprosar , PPD Report

#24

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered I took a teaching job on a high school once, it was a fun optional subject and my students were 15 years old, the only thing I confiscated were one and a half onions.

One of the kids was eating the onions and blasting the girls with his breath. He brought 3 onions to school...

vairoletto , Jeff Easter Report

#25

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered Over the course of years:

Bottle of Vodka 'hidden' in the girls bathroom by 7th graders. "How did you know where to look?" Everyone who came back from the bathroom was drunk so, you're not as sneaky as you think.

Vape "My mom gave it to me for allergies." "So, I'll just give it back to her then." WIDE EYES. "No!!"

Student banging the primers of two 30-06 shells together in class. -- Grab!-- "I just wanted to see if they would go off."

tempaccntnow , Sento Report

#26

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered A god damn tattoo machine. They were tattooing their hands. (8th grade, Germany)

Dolifti , TIGER500 Report

#27

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered My mom always told the story about my brother bringing a signed picture of Richard Petty to his class and telling everyone he was his Dad (1-2nd grade maybe) but that everyone forgot because the next kid pulled out an antique gun

Bangbangsmashsmash , JV Report

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GoddessOdd
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too funny! A co-workers kid started telling his classmates that his father owned the popular BBQ place in town. Told this story for years and had most of the kids convinced. The kids father was actually a car salesman.

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#28

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered Handcuffs and tear gas from the same student, same lesson

oldbutdum , David Surtees Report

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#29

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered I recently confiscated a giant ball of cheese. Kid had like 8 cheese sticks, had unwrapped them, and was forming them into a massive ball of goo. He was about to shove it in his cheese hole when I took it. It had started to melt. I teach 8th grade. Cheese goo.

Interesting-Road-441 , Rusty Clark ~ 100K Photos Report

#30

Someone In This Online Group Asked “Teachers, What Was The Worst Thing You Had To Confiscate From A Student?”, 30 Folks Delivered A tazer disguised as a torch

leobeer , Myself248 Report

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