Every parent wants what’s best for their child. Name included. But what makes a good name that will follow the baby through life is debatable. Some say it has to stand out from the crowd, others think it should still be a human name and not the name of a fruit (like Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter Apple), and here you have different parenting styles and approaches clashing again and again.
But let’s take a look at what random people, passersby on the streets and fellow members of society have to say about the baby names they cannot stand. At least they’re a little less biased and may as well give us some fresh perspective.
Below we looked at a couple of Reddit threads where people weigh in on the weirdest and plain worst names to give to your kids, and here’s what we wrapped up. After you’re done, be sure to check out Bored Panda's previous feature with baby names that people say are better skipped for good.
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My coworker named her baby "Strawberry Rain", which would be a great name, if she gave birth to a bottle of shampoo.
Bored Panda reached out to Pamela Redmond, the baby name expert and creator of Nameberry who’s known as the world’s leading expert on baby names. When asked about new trends for children’s names, Redmond said that they are seeing a strong trend toward gender-neutral names for boys.
“For decades girls were getting unisex names but parents shied away from them for boys, but now we're seeing that heading in the other direction. Some gender-neutral names rising in popularity for boys: Cameron, River, Angel, Rowan, Sawyer, and Amari.”
Pennis. Pronounced like Dennis but with a P. Why would anyone do this to their child?
What's interesting is that naming race horses is strictly controlled in most countries. Yet parents can put a child through hell until the child old enough to undo their parents stupidity.
Oh no. Can you imagine this poor kid getting a detention just for every time he tries to write his own name & some teacher thinks he’s trying to be a comedian? That’s just awful. 🥺🤦♀️
When your mother calls you that name in the public and the public does The Rock raised eyebrow stare...
There was a comedy character in the 90s called Dennis Pennis, he was an incredibly obnoxious American red carpet reporter, played by an Englishman called Paul Kaye.
My daughters last name is Ennis.. She is going into 9th grade and heard every joke. Seriously is disgusting.. Ever since grade school heard even adults make the jokes. They add the P. Freaking sick. It's pronounced EH-nis.. Yet people do.. I would have never done their spelling but Ehh.. They probably thought to say it like spelled. Definitely not that easy.. *sigh* I definitely know
Yeah, it's pronounced like "Dennis" with a "P". No one on planet earth is going to buy that.
Do they LIKE the prospect of their child being bullied relentlessly by his peers?
I read (could have been BP) about a teacher who had a kid in her class called Urine. Turns out the kid was born with kidney problems and was taken straight to ICU. When the mum was allowed in to see her, she said 'that's so sweet - they've given her a name and put it on the wall above the bed. Well, we'll keep it.' The sign said 'Please save urine'. The mum pronounced it yoo-rin-ee.
I've heard that "Urine" is actually a Norwegian woman's name; it is pronounced something like "ooh- REEN." This was told to me by a Norwegian woman called "Tone." She pronounced it like the English word, but in the original Norwegian, it is said more like "tuna."
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My ex was a pediatric nurse. Saw “La-a” asked the mother how to pronounce it, “la dash ah” was her response.
Jathan. This child has been damned to constantly sound like he has a lisp.
"Hi, I am Jathan" "ohh nice to meet you Jason" "...no, its actually Jathan, my parents hated me"
8
Not a teacher, but I work at my county's welfare office. There's a family and these are all the kids' first names from oldest to youngest:
* Princess
* Prince
* Crowned Prince
* Prince Mowgli
* Princess Modica-Nordica
I wish I was kidding.
Moreover, nature names just keep getting stronger, Redmond said. “There are flower names like Flora and Azalea but also tree names such as Oakley and Maple, water names like Ocean and Wave (Cardi B and Offset's baby boy), sky names such as Luna and Jupiter, animal names like Birdie and Wolf,” she explained.
Interestingly, mythological names are also huge. “Mythological names popular on Nameberry are Aurora, Freya, Penelope, Daphne, and Maeve for girls; Atlas, Finn, Magnus, Aurelius, and Orion for boys,” Redmond told Bored Panda.
There is a woman named Lasagna that comes into the store I used to work in. She was born and her mother saw her and thought. LASAGNA.
I know this girl named Feline, most people just call her Kat.
'Kimyonce'
Her parent is apparently a fan of Beyonce & the Kardashians. I feel so sorry for that kid.
According to the world’s leading expert on baby names, there are literally thousands of names given to fewer than five babies a year that doesn't even appear on the Social Security's extended list. “Some of these are names most people are familiar with. You could call these undiscovered names instead of unpopular names. For boys, these include Oberon, Gulliver, Bard, Florent, and Drummer. For girls, Delphi, Ianthe, Bluebell, Desdemona, and Zephyrine.”
Sh*thead (pronounced shi-theed), Da Boss, and Sexy Beth. Sexy Beth was just referred to as Beth, because who wants to call a 12 year old sexy, and her mom was not happy about it. She came into the school numerous times ranting about how her daughter's name is Sexy Beth, not Beth, and we better get it right
My nephew is named Fox. At first I was kinda horrified but now I see how the name fits him perfectly. Whenever he sees pictures of foxes he says "There I am." He is 4 and it is freaking adorable.
Redmond believes that the “name for a child is hugely important not because it determines your child's entire future, but it contains the code for your family identity, your values, and priorities, whether you're conscious of it or not.”
Moreover, “your child's name says a lot about how close you are or want to be to your family, how much your religion or cultural origin means to you, how you view gender identity, whether you'd rather fit in or stand out, how you feel about your own name.”
Had a girl in class whose name was "Peonme."
The boys had many variations of her name.
(Staff members thought her parents meant to name her "Peony," after the flower, but got it wrong.)
I've always hated the Hayden/Haiden/Jayden/Jaiden/Jaylin/Jaelin/Braeden/Brayden names, but I lost my mind at Drayden.
When asked to share advice for parents who can’t decide on the name for their baby, Redmond said it’s a good idea to hire their name consultants. “If you've already devoted hours to finding a name and can't come up with a choice you love, you can consult with an expert for a few hundred dollars and get choices that fit your style that you may not have thought of.”
There is also the free name generator called Baby Name DNA which is also pretty magic at analyzing your individual name style and matching you with names that fit. So check it out!
Not a teacher, but theres a girl at my school named Lollipop...
Worked at a Juvenile Treatment facility, had a kid sent to us middle name was "Ice Cold". Turned out to be a really good kid just terrible drug/gang infested f**k heads for parents.
I was subbing in a class once and had a kid named Insurance.
Part of my job is auditing attendance and child rosters for daycares. Came across a "Moonlight Slaughter". Metal AF
Lovely Butts. Not even lying. (Butts is the last name)
That’s so sad. When she’s in her 20’s every guy will tease her and ask if she’s a p*rn star. Damn parents…where were THEIR parents???
My wife is a teacher and had to stop Neo from peeling glue off his hand. He aint the one.
I arrested someone last week, legally named F*ck.
When I taught in South Korea we had to give our students English names. A couple of the names I gave my kids were Tupac, and Rambo. It was all fun and games on my behalf until I met a student named squirrel. (She named herself)
I teach in China, and I've posted before about some of the English names I've encountered. But I recently started tutoring a 7-year-old boy whose English name was "Dummy." Dummy. It's apparently a transliteration of his Chinese name, but I told the parents that under no circumstances would I call him Dummy. We finally compromised (kind of) and he wound up with Dommy.
I used to work with refugees who had recently moved to the US. There was one family with a baby named "Ice Cream".
In high school we had an Asian kid whose last name is Shen. His first name was Eric. The lolz didn't occur to me until I actually had a class with him and the teacher was doing roll call, and I thought she loudly said erection in class.
Try Saying "Jim Nasium" "Connie Lingus" "Phil A. Shio" "Mike Hunt"
Craig.
Craigs aren't born, they pop into existence at 40 years old in dad jeans.
Interning in the counseling department at a high school. It's early Monday morning and I'm chugging coffee to perk up. They finish up mornings announcements and read off a list of students needing to go to the office for various reasons. The last name read was "Indiana Jones".
I immediately check the school student roster and there he is, Jones, Indiana. The kid was actually fairly well adjusted and well liked.
Nasteo...pronounced Nasty Ho. 😟
Met a guy whose 100% legal, unchanged name was "Lord Stormwalker".
Had a kid named Penelope, pronounced by her mother as Peen-a-loap.
I was at the grocery store not too long ago, one older lady asked me what was my baby's name, then said her grandson was the same age. I asked her what was his name, she reluctantly said Dolphin but we call him Finn. Poor woman...
My grandmother was a teacher in the "deep countryside" in Argentina back in the 50s. There is a hmm... tradition inherited from Spain I think, where you name your child with the name of the saint of the day he was born. Each day is the day of a saint, and they would sell these calendars with the name of a saint each day. So if your baby was born on the day of St. Rodrigo, you call him Rodrigo, for example.
The problem was that some of these calendars also had the national argentinian holydays marked. So July 9, May 25, etc, were marked as "Fiesta Cívica" (something like "Civic Celebration") instead of with the name of the saints. Basically she told me that she had children who were born one of these days, called literally "Civic Celebration".
I knew some people in school named TrustInTheLord (she went by Trust) and her brother JesusIsMySaviour (he went by Saviour). The names they went by are honestly great, but those full names just made EVERYTHING inconvenient.
Kind of cheating because I taught in China for a while, but I had one student that had picked Goblin as her English name.
Had a kid named Griffin, spelled Gyrophone.... also had a Mister, a Chi'Arion, and a Eusavio. Then there was my year in the inner city where there was one white girl in the entire school and she was in my class. Her name was Ivory...
Andromeda Aurora. The dad was wearing a Star Trek tshirt and mom was wearing Dr Who.
I work at a call center, here are some winners of children I have seen (all teenagers or younger):
- De'creshondria
- Maxx Gay
- Marijuana
- P*rn
- Dingle,
- Wanna (middle name Smoke, dead serious)
- Dej-'unique
Wanna smoke??? Dingle?? Marijuana?? If you like marijuana so much name your kid Mary Jane. And Maxx Gay and P*rn are just ridiculous, well they all are, but I'm also trying to figure out if there was an o in the name or not because if there wasn't that would be even worse!! Man some people should not be allowed to have children smfh.
I do teaching for undergraduate physics. I've already seen the class list for next year and, starting in September there will be a girl called Framboise in the first year class. Framboise means *raspberry* in French and, by the way, this is a French speaking city so it's not like her name is going to go unnoticed. Can't wait to meet her.
I actually like the name since raspberry is a symbol of love, creativity, and kindness. I don't see anything wrong with raspberry
Obligatory not a teacher, but....a friend of mine from high school is naming her new daughter Espn. We were told it's because she likes sports. Well, so do I, but you don't see me naming my kid Fox Sports Midwest, do ya?
Sexy... I kid you not. Someone thought it a good idea to name their baby girl "Sexy".
Can you imagine trying to call out her name at Kindergarden...
I'm a TEFL teacher in China. The kids here have some fascinating names. Some are obviously just mistakes (Like Biran or Windy). Some are quite clever.
One girl about 15 said she wanted to be called KFC. When I asked her why she smiled and said "Because everybody likes KFC!"
Another very shy girl about 19 called herself shadow...which I thought was a lovely name.
Then there were the parents who had an extra child by accident and called her...extra. Seriously. There are also parents who name their child after an inanimate object like "telephone" or "train". "Tiger" is a popular name for boys too.
There's also a boy named monkey; "apple" is quite common, and many others like this. For some reason there's a fair few older girls 20+ named Queenie; these days the name seems to have fallen out of fashion. These are the names the parents or kids themselves have chosen, we teachers aren't trying to make fun of them.
Edit: Forgot to mention I work with a Chinese girl whose name is Tim.
I remember as a kid watching Ever after high and thinking "who the hell names their kid APPILe???´
Not a teacher but during med school, rotated with a pediatrician in Berkeley, Ca and came across a kid named Starshyt. When asked why that name parents said "you ever see a shooting star and behind it kinda looks like s**t...?"
My neighbors name is Tiger.
A girl at the preschool I work at is named Legend Derry.
A girl I worked with named her child Lexi Jewel. Not weird but sounds like a premade p*rn star name.
I'm sure there are others but I can't think of any right now.
Not a teacher, but in hs my son had a friend named Chris Growcock. He wears it proudly. As a bonus, his parents sent him to an all-boy high school and all day everyone asked him if he was "living up to his name.
I knew a 10 year old girl named Felanie. I don't think the mom thought that one through.
Neither did the mother of a girl I went to high school with, who spelled it Felonee. 🤦🏻♀️
There is 1 person in the US named Gay Bowser.
So, that.
1st kid - January 2nd kid- February 3rd kid- March Etc. This list goes all the way to August
Pitts. I assumed it was a nickname but no! Apparently his Dad was a huge fan of the Pittsburgh Penguins he named his son Pittsburgh but Pitts for short.
Note: this post originally had 99 images. It’s been shortened to the top 49 images based on user votes.
Hence why some countries, like Denmark, have naming laws. That's never made more sense after reading this
I agree. If you want to burden someone with a stupid name do it to a cat. The cat won't mind and it doesn't come when you call anyway.
Load More Replies... I worked in an urgent care long ago and a patient’s name was L-a. So It’s not pronounced as “La”. It’s pronounced as Ladasha. I kid you not.
I don't know about other countries but here in America, it should be illegal to give kids stupid and embarassing names.
Yes, there are lots of countries that have lists you legally cannot make your child. There are also some countries where parents have to get the names approved.
Load More Replies... Moon-Unit Zappa should rank high. Then there was Terry Hurd, which doesn't seem bad unless you know that schoolmates called him Hairy Turd.
Do you guys have laws in your country to prevent that (not in the US apparently)? In ours the registry office can't prevent you from giving your kids weird names if they rule the name will be detrimental to the kid. Happened with Nutella, Prince-William, Lucifer, Astérix and the very famous CR7 and Griezmann-Mbappé
In France, I met a young girl named Shoréline (pronunced shoreyleen). The parents told me it meant "rivage" in English. Shoreline. At least, it's almost the correct translation.
I think that's actually a nice name. Has a bit of "Orélie" in there. 😊
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I went to school with a family of brothers (the oldest was in my class), their names were Tiger, Roundhead and Snoopy.
In Germany there is a real Max Mustermann. That name is used as a place holder and that man has to always defend that his id is not fake
Goes to show that even when you have naming laws dumb parents will find a way.
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Why would you do something like this to your kids. I agonised over naming mine, trying to see if there was a way the name could be made fun of etc..
Sadly, some people think the name is funny, etc. until their child gets bullied and find out the hard way that they should not have given them that name.
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Twin girls I know their names are sativa and indica before you ask they are different types of marijuana
I went to college with Summer Cruz, Justin Case, and Precious Stone. So there's that lol.
1 family Travis Moonbeam, Essence Love, O'Ryan Pearlysky, Cerlesty Star, also know a family in town who's last name is D**k- they have 9 boys and the only girl is named Anita....Anita D**k.
Once had a patient whose mum clearly wanted to name her Chanel but misspelled it so it was actually Channel. Also received bloods from a Baby Fiddler; I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe.
I used to deliver for FedEx and has a customer named "English King". I asked her about it one time and it turns out her birth name was English Ivy; her parents' last name was Ivy and they thought "English Ivy" was cute. Then she married someone named King. So "English King", like "George"? "Henry"? :)
then you have ppl with funny surnames that just happen to interact with each other. such as a lady Powerful living opposite to a man with a surname King. Jacket lived next to a Nail. Fox in the same building as Rabbit ( all legit surnames just translated). a man with a surname Soup living with a lady named Cabbage- so basically they had on their door "cabbage soup" and my favourite: three families living next to each other: Rooster, Hen, Raven and the street nicknamed after them the Feathers' street
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I work with a kid named Kanye after Kanye West. The kid is white... And my Uncle's middle name is D'equila because his dad was drunk AF when he was born and tried saying tequila
I love that in America and Australia it seems normal to name a child Jensen as the first name. In Scandinavia it is a surname meaning "the son of Jens". Also, I once came across a woman on fb whose last name was Taber. In Danish, "taber" means loser. I was very surprised that it was a surname. Lol! Sorry to those who has Taber as a surname.... but yeah, I think it's good info if you should ever visit Denmark, just in case you wonder why ppl are smiling strangely when you tell them your last name. :)
Working at a small med clinic, there was a whole family with five kids who would come in. Their names were: Rowan, Sage, Hazel, and I can't remember the other two but they were herbs. Very polite kids and sweet family. I actually really liked the themed names!
These were funny at first and then quickly became depressing thinking about how these kids have to live with those names. I seriously hope they're all fake but I know some are real. Those parents are all self centered f**kers. Creative named should only be used for pets, toys, and avatars, not for living human beings. If those f**kers liked the creative names so much, they should just change their own legal names instead of condemning innocent children. I'm sure 99% of those parents would not really want the names they gave their kids.
As a kid, I really liked the name "Evie" so I planned to call my first girl "Evi Lee" (pronounced eh-vee lee). Someone pointed out years later that it sounds like "heavily" and I'm now glad I didn't have kids!
Was watching house hunters, parent Keith and Ariceli named their daughter Kei-Ari. Is their next child Th-celi?
It's another failed attempt at absolute freedom under any circumstance. If everyone is free to do what they want no matter what, no one is free anymore, because we all would stand in each others way.
This kind of post has been showing up a lot lately. So I'll mention again the woman in the grocery store talking to her daughter in the shopping cart. "Sit down, Tyranny!". I swear.
I had a proffessor named Fantasy. I've also know: Athena, Adonis, Eros, January, Wenday, a girl named Wallace, Andromeda, Sarah Lee, and Precious.
I once knew a girl called Ophelia Balls. Bet she couldn't wait to get married and lose that surname!
How about this name: A-a, pronounced adasha... Because - represents 'dash'.
My cousin has not great initials. (I will change the names for her privacy, but keep the initials.) Brianna Merideth Smith. There is no good way to arrange it. First and last=BS. First, middle and last=BMS(bowel movements). First and middle=BM (BMS singular). Middle and last=MS (rare disease).
There are many reasons some people should not reproduce. You just finished reading several.
If one of my friends tried to pull this s**t (and if it was before the kid was legally named), I would ceaselessly try to make them choose something else until they relent.
I had a 5 year old girl in summer camp named "Aquanetta". Her 12 year old sister was named "Evelyn". Go figure. This was back in the 90s.
Calm down people. I've just find out, there is a legal way in USA to change the misfortune name, and it's pretty easy. More info in Google...
I once knew a woman named Peter. That's just stupid and cruel of her parents. She will have suffered so much teasing about it growing up. And probably still embarrassed whenever she has to tell people her name as an adult.
Hence why some countries, like Denmark, have naming laws. That's never made more sense after reading this
I agree. If you want to burden someone with a stupid name do it to a cat. The cat won't mind and it doesn't come when you call anyway.
Load More Replies... I worked in an urgent care long ago and a patient’s name was L-a. So It’s not pronounced as “La”. It’s pronounced as Ladasha. I kid you not.
I don't know about other countries but here in America, it should be illegal to give kids stupid and embarassing names.
Yes, there are lots of countries that have lists you legally cannot make your child. There are also some countries where parents have to get the names approved.
Load More Replies... Moon-Unit Zappa should rank high. Then there was Terry Hurd, which doesn't seem bad unless you know that schoolmates called him Hairy Turd.
Do you guys have laws in your country to prevent that (not in the US apparently)? In ours the registry office can't prevent you from giving your kids weird names if they rule the name will be detrimental to the kid. Happened with Nutella, Prince-William, Lucifer, Astérix and the very famous CR7 and Griezmann-Mbappé
In France, I met a young girl named Shoréline (pronunced shoreyleen). The parents told me it meant "rivage" in English. Shoreline. At least, it's almost the correct translation.
I think that's actually a nice name. Has a bit of "Orélie" in there. 😊
Load More Replies... I went to school with a family of brothers (the oldest was in my class), their names were Tiger, Roundhead and Snoopy.
In Germany there is a real Max Mustermann. That name is used as a place holder and that man has to always defend that his id is not fake
Goes to show that even when you have naming laws dumb parents will find a way.
Load More Replies... Why would you do something like this to your kids. I agonised over naming mine, trying to see if there was a way the name could be made fun of etc..
Sadly, some people think the name is funny, etc. until their child gets bullied and find out the hard way that they should not have given them that name.
Load More Replies... Twin girls I know their names are sativa and indica before you ask they are different types of marijuana
I went to college with Summer Cruz, Justin Case, and Precious Stone. So there's that lol.
1 family Travis Moonbeam, Essence Love, O'Ryan Pearlysky, Cerlesty Star, also know a family in town who's last name is D**k- they have 9 boys and the only girl is named Anita....Anita D**k.
Once had a patient whose mum clearly wanted to name her Chanel but misspelled it so it was actually Channel. Also received bloods from a Baby Fiddler; I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe.
I used to deliver for FedEx and has a customer named "English King". I asked her about it one time and it turns out her birth name was English Ivy; her parents' last name was Ivy and they thought "English Ivy" was cute. Then she married someone named King. So "English King", like "George"? "Henry"? :)
then you have ppl with funny surnames that just happen to interact with each other. such as a lady Powerful living opposite to a man with a surname King. Jacket lived next to a Nail. Fox in the same building as Rabbit ( all legit surnames just translated). a man with a surname Soup living with a lady named Cabbage- so basically they had on their door "cabbage soup" and my favourite: three families living next to each other: Rooster, Hen, Raven and the street nicknamed after them the Feathers' street
Load More Replies... I work with a kid named Kanye after Kanye West. The kid is white... And my Uncle's middle name is D'equila because his dad was drunk AF when he was born and tried saying tequila
I love that in America and Australia it seems normal to name a child Jensen as the first name. In Scandinavia it is a surname meaning "the son of Jens". Also, I once came across a woman on fb whose last name was Taber. In Danish, "taber" means loser. I was very surprised that it was a surname. Lol! Sorry to those who has Taber as a surname.... but yeah, I think it's good info if you should ever visit Denmark, just in case you wonder why ppl are smiling strangely when you tell them your last name. :)
Working at a small med clinic, there was a whole family with five kids who would come in. Their names were: Rowan, Sage, Hazel, and I can't remember the other two but they were herbs. Very polite kids and sweet family. I actually really liked the themed names!
These were funny at first and then quickly became depressing thinking about how these kids have to live with those names. I seriously hope they're all fake but I know some are real. Those parents are all self centered f**kers. Creative named should only be used for pets, toys, and avatars, not for living human beings. If those f**kers liked the creative names so much, they should just change their own legal names instead of condemning innocent children. I'm sure 99% of those parents would not really want the names they gave their kids.
As a kid, I really liked the name "Evie" so I planned to call my first girl "Evi Lee" (pronounced eh-vee lee). Someone pointed out years later that it sounds like "heavily" and I'm now glad I didn't have kids!
Was watching house hunters, parent Keith and Ariceli named their daughter Kei-Ari. Is their next child Th-celi?
It's another failed attempt at absolute freedom under any circumstance. If everyone is free to do what they want no matter what, no one is free anymore, because we all would stand in each others way.
This kind of post has been showing up a lot lately. So I'll mention again the woman in the grocery store talking to her daughter in the shopping cart. "Sit down, Tyranny!". I swear.
I had a proffessor named Fantasy. I've also know: Athena, Adonis, Eros, January, Wenday, a girl named Wallace, Andromeda, Sarah Lee, and Precious.
I once knew a girl called Ophelia Balls. Bet she couldn't wait to get married and lose that surname!
How about this name: A-a, pronounced adasha... Because - represents 'dash'.
My cousin has not great initials. (I will change the names for her privacy, but keep the initials.) Brianna Merideth Smith. There is no good way to arrange it. First and last=BS. First, middle and last=BMS(bowel movements). First and middle=BM (BMS singular). Middle and last=MS (rare disease).
There are many reasons some people should not reproduce. You just finished reading several.
If one of my friends tried to pull this s**t (and if it was before the kid was legally named), I would ceaselessly try to make them choose something else until they relent.
I had a 5 year old girl in summer camp named "Aquanetta". Her 12 year old sister was named "Evelyn". Go figure. This was back in the 90s.
Calm down people. I've just find out, there is a legal way in USA to change the misfortune name, and it's pretty easy. More info in Google...
I once knew a woman named Peter. That's just stupid and cruel of her parents. She will have suffered so much teasing about it growing up. And probably still embarrassed whenever she has to tell people her name as an adult.
