Husband Insists He’s The One Cleaning, So The Wife Stops Cleaning His Mess For A Week To See How It Goes
Interview With Author
What if some husbands take it all for granted? Homemade dinner, fresh socks, ironed shirts, sparkly clean house, you name it.
But the TikToker Jalie, @wifestrike, got so fed up being the one cleaning up after her hubby, she announced “week long strike on not cleaning any of his stuff because he swears to god, he’s the one cleaning.”Jalie carefully documented each day of her ongoing house chore strike, sharing her findings with her 16.7K followers.
And not all of it was pretty: from piles of laundry to dirty dishes sitting there waiting for Godot, many people found her hilarious videos all too relatable. So let’s see how the wife strike has unfolded and whether the hubby was really right about being the one who takes care of the tidiness at home.
TikToker Jalie had enough of her husband swearing he’s the one cleaning, so she went on a week-long ‘wife strike’
So she documented everything that happened during that week in a series of hilarious TikTok videos
@wifestrikePt 1 wife on strike♬ original sound – Jalie
From piles of laundry to beauty products being tossed around and dirty shoes lying right there around the house, Jalie hasn’t moved a finger
Bored Panda reached out to Jalie Gil, the 27 year old TikToker from central Florida and creator of the @wifestrike viral video series. Turns out that Jalie has been sharing a home with her husband since 2015. “It all started when my husband and I were having a conversation about household chores and he jokingly said that he does all the cleaning which I immediately protested and mentioned I should go on strike,” she told us in an interview.
During Jalie’s wife strike some things were more or less fine, but others… not so much
“I made the TikTok account on a whim, and within 5 minutes of that conversation @wifestrike was made. I instinctively knew I couldn’t post the wife strike on my personal or beauty page for fear of judgement and shame from our friends and family,” Jalie said.
There were also some ‘gifts’ and things left for Jalie to be taken care of
“I knew there had to be people out there with these husband and cohabiter woes,” she said and added that: “I realized that I was not alone and that I was conditioned to silently clean up after my husband that he literally forgets he ever left a mess behind.”
The TikToker also documented the two sides of the sink with a stark difference
“Mainly the reactions were to keep my strike going even after the initial week-long strike,” Jalie said jokingly. “That I shouldn’t be cleaning after him because he should be responsible for himself. Also, a lot of mentions of divorce even though that is the last thing on my mind.”
After allegedly having cleaned the bathroom, the hubbie couldn’t be bothered to do some extra and left things just lying there
According to Jalie, trying out your own strike is the only way for hubbies to see what you actually do in the household. “I would definitely communicate to your husband/ cohabiter that the strike IS happening and why it has led to that,” she said.
Moreover, “there have been small improvements with my husband and I think the overall message is setting in. However I’m thinking a week long is not enough and I will follow through until the areas of concern are addressed so hopefully he gets the full scope of what I do.”
The clean clothes by the bed are waiting to be put away but hey, it’s day 5 of the wife strike and Jalie is still not doing it
“I would like to add that I am so grateful for the encouragement and support on TikTok. I’m so pleased that I’m able to be vocal about something that so many people go through! I should have done this sooner,” TikTok creator concluded.
But on day 5 a miracle happens in the bathroom and Jalie says it looks the best she has ever seen
And look, there’s no usual suspect, aka an unidentified sock lying there
Day 6 of the wife strike starts with the combo of cleaning supplies and q-tips
The laundry room standing at day 6 looks like it needs some tidying and it’d be something that Jalie would usually do
And the trash bag which was supposed to be taken out is hanging stubbornly here
Many people found Jalie’s strike relatable and this is what they had to comment
It is sad how common this is. From all my female friends and family only one has a male partner that cleans as much as her. The rest either do nothing at all, the bare minimum or only d things if the woman micromanages them. Guys you need to step up! This is not about sex it is about being a decent responsible adult
There is no chance I would marry/stay married to a guy who wouldn't do his fair share of the work
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I found this one more interesting and less passive aggressive than the other ones. All the others start by the wife just having enough and going on strike and watching chaos unfold around her until the husband finally twigs. This woman EXPLICITLY told her husband IN ADVANCE what she was doing. And he accepted her challenge - this is a clear cut example of "you say you do all the cleaning, I disagree, let's see who's correct." And it does look like he cleans - just nowhere near as much as he thought he did.
explicitly told her in advance and he still didn't do anything XD
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Never understood doing a man's laundry. Does he do my laundry? No? Then why would I do his? Keeping one's clothes clean falls under the "do it yourself for yourself" umbrella. Being married does not suddenly mean a man has a built-in maid, unless you ladies let it be that way. And if a man wants to be a slob, he can pay for a weekly cleaning person to come in and keep things tidy. Don't fall for the scam, ladies. Don't marry slobs or men who expect you to clean up after them like mommy did. Nothing dries up the panties quicker than seeing your man as a child who must be raised.
My husband and I have never done each other’s laundry. We know which of our own clothes need to be washed on delicate, not put in the dryer, etc. and we both work, so neither of us has more time than the other.
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Every guy I've ever seen be like this, it was because his mother spoiled and ruined him growing up into being a lazy useless bum, yet the mother would come down hard on her daughters to clean up after themselves. Mother's, please, stop treating sons as 'mummy's special little boy' who you let get away with murder, and teach them how to be grown ups instead. For women everywhere, we beg you.
OMG I once dated a 37 year old man who had nothing but a case of coke and plastic containers of food in his fridge. Found out he went to visit mom once a week for Sunday dinner where she would do his laundry and cook and pack him a weeks worth of dinners and snacks. Turned me right the f**k off.
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My mother went on strike once when we were kids. Dad did lots of stuff, just not laundry/cooking. He was an awful cook, but he would do all the dishes. He rarely did laundry but he often worked 2 jobs, he mowed the lawn, shoveled, renovations, fixed the cars, built stuff, coached kids teams, ran a kids group. Mom didn't do any of those. I was just a kid at the time, but looking back I wonder what led to it because it wasn't like he just sat around, they both always seemed busy. Anyway I hope they work it out, I think communication is key.
This is why I never remarried or cohabited again. Men expect women to do all the cleaning, cooking and their laundry. I am not their Mother and he is not a child. AND even if she is a stay at home mother it is still not her job to do his laundry or clean his mess. Even today men still complain if a woman does not do this. Like it somehow makes her less of a woman. Such bullshit.
I'm 60, she is 58. I do the laundry, vacuuming, and plant and water the landscaping (she manicures it, an OCD thing) but we pay for a lawn service. We both cook and we both have the same habit of cleaning up immediately after. I water all indoor plants but she manicures them. I feed the cats and dog as well as poop scoop and litter pan duty. She deals with kitchen and bathroom counters and sinks as well as the non carpeted tile floors as well as the windows. I deal with the blinds and ceiling fans. I deal with home repairs and maintenance as well as automotive maintenance. I handle grocery shopping, she handles non-grocery shopping as I would rather pull my toenails out than go to a shopping mall or Ikea. I deal with home centers except for furnishings, which is a joint venture. I suck at math so she handles all budgetary matters. We are lucky! Most of this division of chores is based on what we like and feel we are good at. Fortunately we prefer different tasks. It's not hard...
This is how it should be. You both came up with an even distribution of chores based on what you both like and are good at doing. No resentment. A true partnership. Not many men your age do this.
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My ex didn't want HIS money to go towards OUR food, so twice I ended up telling him to feed himself then. He ran out of money in a week or 2 each time, and then he wanted my budget meals. He also kept nagging about wiping the cutting board we used for making sandwiches. I knew that I cleaned it up every time. I ended up not eating any bread at all for 2 weeks to prove a point. Well, he came to yell at me because the cutting board was NASTY and then I pointed out the mess is all of his own doing, because I hadn't had any bread at all for 2 weeks to prove that he's the one leaving crumbs around. After that he started wiping it (a wooden cutting board) angrily, with a wet and not fresh cleaning rag.. idiot.
Marriage is a commitment. So is living together. If you both dirty the house, you are both responsible for cleaning up. My wife tasked herself with laundry and cooking/dishes. Everything else I either help or just plain do. I know different relationships work differently, but just letting your wife do all/most of the work is insane to me. She's your wife, not your maid.
Saw this common trend already when I was in my teens and 20s. there's a reason why we like living alone
When "we" retired I told my husband that if I'm retired then he should do his own laundry, nd clean up after himself in kitchen. Seems fair to me😎
I did the same. We broke up in the end... I gave up after two weeks when I refused to breath all the mold from the dishes he left on his desk with still some food on them....
Yup! I had to do something similar... Took a week vacation visiting my parents at the coast (haven't seen them in ages!) - and ever since that break, my Husband has done SO MUCH around the house. I feel we are (at last) 50/50 partners when it comes to maintaining our house. :)
I'm gonna take a wild guess and say the husband in this situation went on strike right back at her. Get counseling, IMHO. That's a lot of passive-aggressive BS going on...
When nothing works honestly you have to do this s**t for some people to understand! When someone is lazy af and thinks all these are a woman's job, counseling will do nothing! This is a lifestyle that doesn't just change when you are used to it since your mum used to pick up everything! Passive aggressive or not if it works it's perfect (wouldn't do it myself cause i don't have the patience but i don't disagree)
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I've tried this, albeit unwillingly. My migraines lately have me down for a few days at a time, during which my house turns into a disaster.
I did this for many months and had to give up. The house is meth-house funky. YUCK! He doesn't care.
This makes me really appreciate my husband! I've got a really good one he does what ever is needed around the house when he's home and I'm working (I work in healthcare). He's self employed so he has more flexibility in his schedule than mine...I don't know what I'd do without him!
I've suggested a few times to my mother she should stop cleaning up after my father. He's a grown up, he can clean up after himself. Sadly she can't stand it and cleans up.
My dad has a job, my mom doesn't [or at least not one that pays, she is still a full time/stay at home mom]. He works 7 am to 4 pm monday through friday and often works from home over the weekends doing his usual work and working as a manager until they can find someone to permanently fill the position. He still does a fair amount of cleaning and work around the house. Especially during this past weekend when we rearranged a ton of furniture and swapped two rooms completely [moved out guinea pigs to a bigger room since we have to have 2 cages, some of them don't get along]. He did so much of the heavy lifting along with my sister [mom and I both have back issues.] All of this to say I don't understand how so many men can't just clean up after themselves.
I specifically asked my husband to stop doing my laundry because he kept ruining my shirts.
Its sad how a scenario where he actually does clean and just thinks he does it all is a refreshing change
I have to say, my husband, over time and situational extreme times, my husband has learned to be handy around the house helping! I had severe upper a day lower spin e pain and trouble. At each surgery, he had to do everything! Shopping, cleaning, wash clothes and put away, and though he doesn't cook, he was excellent at getting frozen dinners for me and made a super great salad! I had 4 major spine surgeries,and he did this each time thee. Last one, he had to do all that house stuff and care for me,, completely,until I healed. I was like a baby for 2 weeks, until I was. able to move more. I couldn't have done it without him!
men and woman don't clean the same way. my wife did it daily while for myself i usually wait longer. i rather spend more time and doing it less frequently than daily like my wife do. could be the same her.
So you are forcing the other person to live in a messy environment and wait for you to get around to cleaning? What you are describing is the cleaning habbit I had as a child. It's not about "prefrence", it's about being considerate to the other person you've chosen to live with.
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Ok, you are right. We don't clean up as much as you want. But let see the problem from another point of view. When you broke something we don't repair anymore. And we don't give you money to buy a new one. when you need a heavy lift or some things to do which need force we will not do it. I know you can pay some men to do that for you but we also can pay a woman to clean after us. So, I think that home chores must be spited and no comments from anyone....
"Dance Dance do your incompe-dance" sure bud, "but babe what if I break it and don't take responsibility :(" so u won't do chores 356 days a year for an off chance to lift something? Useless
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Is it not the wife's duty to cook dinner, do laundry and other cleaning if she doesn't contribute a cent in food, housing and clothing?
Is she your wife or the hired help ? What you are saying is that as your wife she must "pay you" in cleaning and cooking services if she does not work outside the home . I am assuming that the reason she stays home is to care for children. So your wife does contribute to the household. She is sacrificing a career to stay home and care for children. You act like she is a freeloader and you place no value on her contributions at all.
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I'm not disagreeing with her "being on strike", I'm finding an issue with publicizing this all on TikTok (it also wasn't that long ago that Bored Panda was telling us that TikTok was dangerous to use) or any social media, as this can ruin a relationship by shaming (something else BO says is bad, except when it is amusing to them). People need to keep this to themselves, not broadcast for the world to see.
I think it helps other women to know they aren't alone, and to feel validated in their frustration.
Load More Replies...
Am.. like, objectively it doesn't look that bad?.. My wife and I split chores as equally as we can, with an underlying understanding that she is better at some things , and I am better at others. We play to our strengths. To simplify it, I would do everything that she's not suited to and she does everything I'm not suited to. For instance I'm just in from digging 3ft deep holes and dropping in a 10ft concrete h-posts, while she's just done the family budget and put our daughter to bed. Both took the same amount of time! And we're both wrecked. Not everything needs to be split 50/50. Nature specializes. Why can't we? Is that so wrong?
Nature specializes ? Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha . So your saying nature made women better at housework and child care.
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It is sad how common this is. From all my female friends and family only one has a male partner that cleans as much as her. The rest either do nothing at all, the bare minimum or only d things if the woman micromanages them. Guys you need to step up! This is not about sex it is about being a decent responsible adult
There is no chance I would marry/stay married to a guy who wouldn't do his fair share of the work
Load More Replies... I found this one more interesting and less passive aggressive than the other ones. All the others start by the wife just having enough and going on strike and watching chaos unfold around her until the husband finally twigs. This woman EXPLICITLY told her husband IN ADVANCE what she was doing. And he accepted her challenge - this is a clear cut example of "you say you do all the cleaning, I disagree, let's see who's correct." And it does look like he cleans - just nowhere near as much as he thought he did.
explicitly told her in advance and he still didn't do anything XD
Load More Replies... Never understood doing a man's laundry. Does he do my laundry? No? Then why would I do his? Keeping one's clothes clean falls under the "do it yourself for yourself" umbrella. Being married does not suddenly mean a man has a built-in maid, unless you ladies let it be that way. And if a man wants to be a slob, he can pay for a weekly cleaning person to come in and keep things tidy. Don't fall for the scam, ladies. Don't marry slobs or men who expect you to clean up after them like mommy did. Nothing dries up the panties quicker than seeing your man as a child who must be raised.
My husband and I have never done each other’s laundry. We know which of our own clothes need to be washed on delicate, not put in the dryer, etc. and we both work, so neither of us has more time than the other.
Load More Replies... Every guy I've ever seen be like this, it was because his mother spoiled and ruined him growing up into being a lazy useless bum, yet the mother would come down hard on her daughters to clean up after themselves. Mother's, please, stop treating sons as 'mummy's special little boy' who you let get away with murder, and teach them how to be grown ups instead. For women everywhere, we beg you.
OMG I once dated a 37 year old man who had nothing but a case of coke and plastic containers of food in his fridge. Found out he went to visit mom once a week for Sunday dinner where she would do his laundry and cook and pack him a weeks worth of dinners and snacks. Turned me right the f**k off.
Load More Replies... My mother went on strike once when we were kids. Dad did lots of stuff, just not laundry/cooking. He was an awful cook, but he would do all the dishes. He rarely did laundry but he often worked 2 jobs, he mowed the lawn, shoveled, renovations, fixed the cars, built stuff, coached kids teams, ran a kids group. Mom didn't do any of those. I was just a kid at the time, but looking back I wonder what led to it because it wasn't like he just sat around, they both always seemed busy. Anyway I hope they work it out, I think communication is key.
This is why I never remarried or cohabited again. Men expect women to do all the cleaning, cooking and their laundry. I am not their Mother and he is not a child. AND even if she is a stay at home mother it is still not her job to do his laundry or clean his mess. Even today men still complain if a woman does not do this. Like it somehow makes her less of a woman. Such bullshit.
I'm 60, she is 58. I do the laundry, vacuuming, and plant and water the landscaping (she manicures it, an OCD thing) but we pay for a lawn service. We both cook and we both have the same habit of cleaning up immediately after. I water all indoor plants but she manicures them. I feed the cats and dog as well as poop scoop and litter pan duty. She deals with kitchen and bathroom counters and sinks as well as the non carpeted tile floors as well as the windows. I deal with the blinds and ceiling fans. I deal with home repairs and maintenance as well as automotive maintenance. I handle grocery shopping, she handles non-grocery shopping as I would rather pull my toenails out than go to a shopping mall or Ikea. I deal with home centers except for furnishings, which is a joint venture. I suck at math so she handles all budgetary matters. We are lucky! Most of this division of chores is based on what we like and feel we are good at. Fortunately we prefer different tasks. It's not hard...
This is how it should be. You both came up with an even distribution of chores based on what you both like and are good at doing. No resentment. A true partnership. Not many men your age do this.
Load More Replies... My ex didn't want HIS money to go towards OUR food, so twice I ended up telling him to feed himself then. He ran out of money in a week or 2 each time, and then he wanted my budget meals. He also kept nagging about wiping the cutting board we used for making sandwiches. I knew that I cleaned it up every time. I ended up not eating any bread at all for 2 weeks to prove a point. Well, he came to yell at me because the cutting board was NASTY and then I pointed out the mess is all of his own doing, because I hadn't had any bread at all for 2 weeks to prove that he's the one leaving crumbs around. After that he started wiping it (a wooden cutting board) angrily, with a wet and not fresh cleaning rag.. idiot.
Marriage is a commitment. So is living together. If you both dirty the house, you are both responsible for cleaning up. My wife tasked herself with laundry and cooking/dishes. Everything else I either help or just plain do. I know different relationships work differently, but just letting your wife do all/most of the work is insane to me. She's your wife, not your maid.
Saw this common trend already when I was in my teens and 20s. there's a reason why we like living alone
When "we" retired I told my husband that if I'm retired then he should do his own laundry, nd clean up after himself in kitchen. Seems fair to me😎
I did the same. We broke up in the end... I gave up after two weeks when I refused to breath all the mold from the dishes he left on his desk with still some food on them....
Yup! I had to do something similar... Took a week vacation visiting my parents at the coast (haven't seen them in ages!) - and ever since that break, my Husband has done SO MUCH around the house. I feel we are (at last) 50/50 partners when it comes to maintaining our house. :)
I'm gonna take a wild guess and say the husband in this situation went on strike right back at her. Get counseling, IMHO. That's a lot of passive-aggressive BS going on...
When nothing works honestly you have to do this s**t for some people to understand! When someone is lazy af and thinks all these are a woman's job, counseling will do nothing! This is a lifestyle that doesn't just change when you are used to it since your mum used to pick up everything! Passive aggressive or not if it works it's perfect (wouldn't do it myself cause i don't have the patience but i don't disagree)
Load More Replies... I've tried this, albeit unwillingly. My migraines lately have me down for a few days at a time, during which my house turns into a disaster.
I did this for many months and had to give up. The house is meth-house funky. YUCK! He doesn't care.
This makes me really appreciate my husband! I've got a really good one he does what ever is needed around the house when he's home and I'm working (I work in healthcare). He's self employed so he has more flexibility in his schedule than mine...I don't know what I'd do without him!
I've suggested a few times to my mother she should stop cleaning up after my father. He's a grown up, he can clean up after himself. Sadly she can't stand it and cleans up.
My dad has a job, my mom doesn't [or at least not one that pays, she is still a full time/stay at home mom]. He works 7 am to 4 pm monday through friday and often works from home over the weekends doing his usual work and working as a manager until they can find someone to permanently fill the position. He still does a fair amount of cleaning and work around the house. Especially during this past weekend when we rearranged a ton of furniture and swapped two rooms completely [moved out guinea pigs to a bigger room since we have to have 2 cages, some of them don't get along]. He did so much of the heavy lifting along with my sister [mom and I both have back issues.] All of this to say I don't understand how so many men can't just clean up after themselves.
I specifically asked my husband to stop doing my laundry because he kept ruining my shirts.
Its sad how a scenario where he actually does clean and just thinks he does it all is a refreshing change
I have to say, my husband, over time and situational extreme times, my husband has learned to be handy around the house helping! I had severe upper a day lower spin e pain and trouble. At each surgery, he had to do everything! Shopping, cleaning, wash clothes and put away, and though he doesn't cook, he was excellent at getting frozen dinners for me and made a super great salad! I had 4 major spine surgeries,and he did this each time thee. Last one, he had to do all that house stuff and care for me,, completely,until I healed. I was like a baby for 2 weeks, until I was. able to move more. I couldn't have done it without him!
men and woman don't clean the same way. my wife did it daily while for myself i usually wait longer. i rather spend more time and doing it less frequently than daily like my wife do. could be the same her.
So you are forcing the other person to live in a messy environment and wait for you to get around to cleaning? What you are describing is the cleaning habbit I had as a child. It's not about "prefrence", it's about being considerate to the other person you've chosen to live with.
Load More Replies... Ok, you are right. We don't clean up as much as you want. But let see the problem from another point of view. When you broke something we don't repair anymore. And we don't give you money to buy a new one. when you need a heavy lift or some things to do which need force we will not do it. I know you can pay some men to do that for you but we also can pay a woman to clean after us. So, I think that home chores must be spited and no comments from anyone....
"Dance Dance do your incompe-dance" sure bud, "but babe what if I break it and don't take responsibility :(" so u won't do chores 356 days a year for an off chance to lift something? Useless
Load More Replies... Is it not the wife's duty to cook dinner, do laundry and other cleaning if she doesn't contribute a cent in food, housing and clothing?
Is she your wife or the hired help ? What you are saying is that as your wife she must "pay you" in cleaning and cooking services if she does not work outside the home . I am assuming that the reason she stays home is to care for children. So your wife does contribute to the household. She is sacrificing a career to stay home and care for children. You act like she is a freeloader and you place no value on her contributions at all.
Load More Replies... I'm not disagreeing with her "being on strike", I'm finding an issue with publicizing this all on TikTok (it also wasn't that long ago that Bored Panda was telling us that TikTok was dangerous to use) or any social media, as this can ruin a relationship by shaming (something else BO says is bad, except when it is amusing to them). People need to keep this to themselves, not broadcast for the world to see.
I think it helps other women to know they aren't alone, and to feel validated in their frustration.
Load More Replies... Am.. like, objectively it doesn't look that bad?.. My wife and I split chores as equally as we can, with an underlying understanding that she is better at some things , and I am better at others. We play to our strengths. To simplify it, I would do everything that she's not suited to and she does everything I'm not suited to. For instance I'm just in from digging 3ft deep holes and dropping in a 10ft concrete h-posts, while she's just done the family budget and put our daughter to bed. Both took the same amount of time! And we're both wrecked. Not everything needs to be split 50/50. Nature specializes. Why can't we? Is that so wrong?
Nature specializes ? Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha . So your saying nature made women better at housework and child care.
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