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“Spiritual Awakening”: 49 People Who Canceled Their Wedding Last Minute Explain What Happened
We've seen it play out in movies. A runaway bride, a groom who got cold feet (or a massive hangover) and didn't make it to the alter, a revelation days before the wedding that "I just don't love you enough to spend the rest of my life with you," or an objection from someone about why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony...
After weeks, months or even years of stressful, expensive wedding planning, sometimes it's just not meant to be. But it doesn't only happen in Hollywood. People call off their weddings at the 11th hour more often than you might think. We know this because when someone asked, "People who cancelled their wedding last minute, what happened?" there was no shortage of answers.
From the groom who had secretly impregnated his side piece to the person who just couldn't handle their partner's 8-year-old child, ordinary netizens have revealed the wild reasons why they decided not to go through with "I do." Bored Panda has picked the best answers for you to scroll through. May they serve as a reminder that sometimes, even the best laid plans can fall to pieces but that's not always a bad thing.
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#1
My fiance met me for lunch and slid a prenup in front of me two weeks before the wedding. I would get nothing, ever, and I would have to help him take care of his mother. There was no such provision for my mother. He took me somewhere to get it notarized and I refused to sign it. He tried to bargain with me, but I was not having it. I took the dress back to the store, kept the shoes because they were cool, and canceled everything. He suggested couples counseling and I went once. The therapist told me she thought he had a screw loose. Then he stalked me. *shrug*.
KatSaidThat 2 weeks ago
My best guess is mummy has just been diagnosed with a long term chronic condition...
Chich the witch 2 weeks ago
Think it might be related to never having the umbilical cord severed.
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Alexandra 2 weeks ago
A pre-up being presented to you two weeks prior to the wedding doesn't necessarily hold up in court because the one who's being presented with it is under a lot of stress due to the proximity of the wedding. Other than that, a pre-nup is a good thing. If you are being presented with one, get your own lawyer to look it over: never sign what's put in front of you. This applies especially to women.
Tyranamar Seuss 2 weeks ago
No, a prenup where you get nothing and are obligated to take care of his mother is not a good thing. You don't need a lawyer to know that. It's common sense.
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Earonn - 2 weeks ago
Maybe women should do a pretend engagement, just to see whether their partner makes this kind of 180 degree turn for the worse....
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 2 weeks ago
Why just women? Plenty of crazy women out there doing equally baffling things to their fiancés.
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Sally Moen 2 weeks ago
Even if she had signed it, it's not a valid prenuptial agreement unless both of them have their own attorneys. What he was trying to do was coercion
Tyranamar Seuss 2 weeks ago
I would not count on that. Asking to sign a prenup is not coercion. That's why you have to protect yourself and refuse to sign.
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Weddings can be super expensive. But I'm sure you knew that already. They also take time, effort and a whole lot of stress to plan, so when someone decides “let’s call the whole thing off,” there's often a good reason.
Researchers from the University of Missouri were so intrigued by couples that don't make it to the alter that they decided to do a study into the some of the main reasons. In 2020, the team interviewed 30 people who'd previously called off a wedding or engagement. The participants were between the ages of 18 and 48, and all had been in long-term, serious relationships, which lasted about 4 and a half years on average.
The paper, titled Beyond cold feet: Experiences of ending engagements and canceling weddings, revealed that one of the main reasons a bride or groom ducked out at the last minute was because the wedding got them thinking (more deeply and seriously) about the relationship’s future and if it could weather the storms to come.
RELATED:
#2
TLDR: pregnant bride to be cancelled 48 hours before wedding due to prenup
When I met him (30 years ago) he drove an old car with close to 300,000 miles on it and lived in a small, poorly furnished house. My two bedroom condo was worth close to twice the value of his house. He did own a small business (restaurant) but they only served dinner so not a huge money maker.
After 2 years dating we accidentally got pregnant. He wanted a pre-nup and I had no problem with that, thinking he wanted to protect his business that he obviously put everything into.
The prenup he gave me showed all his assets. He was worth over a million. He owned the building his restaurant was in. Owned several properties and a small shopping center. And the pre-nup was insane - I had to give up rights of survivorship to any home we bought together. He would keep 100% of his income and gains. Even though I was pregnant and he wanted me to be a stay at home mom, I would have no protection. Basically I could be married 50 years and raise his kids and if he left me even the shirt on my back would belong to him if it had been purchased after the marriage.
I didn't even try for a reasonable re-write. I couldn't marry someone that could suggest that prenup. We cancelled the wedding less than 48 hours before it was scheduled.
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago (edited)
Greed loses popularity polls. There was no mention of the child?
#3
Knew a guy whose mom [passed away] unexpectedly the week before the wedding, meaning the funeral would be a couple days before the wedding. He was emotionally wrecked and asked his fiancee if they could delay. Fiancée refused and started posting in Facebook about how she was being betrayed. At that point he formally called it off. Then her parents called him and demanded refunds for their deposits. Bride refused to return the ring, which had been his recently deceased mom’s, so he got a lawyer involved.
Earonn - 2 weeks ago
He clearly dodged a bullet. Who can't understand that a man who just lost his Mum is not in the mood to get married? Hope he got the ring back.
Julie S 2 weeks ago
I don't know the law on family heirlooms, but I know engagement rings are classed as a gift and you don't have to give them back.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 2 weeks ago
The only thought that bride gave to the groom's mother's death probably was "Great. No chance of her wearing white to the wedding now."
roddy 2 weeks ago
To be fair, there is a lot of invested in time and money and goodwill of friends and family in planning a wedding. Even under these circumstances, postponing the wedding a couple of days prior would mean no refunds on the site, food, hotel bookings, etc. It would be a huge expense. I can understand the bride expecting that, sad as he was, he could make it to the ceremony. I know that in his shoes, I'd be upset, but would still be able to walk the aisle and get things done.
Zac 2 weeks ago
every single wedding venue i toured when helping both of my sisters and my best friend, so three weddings, plan their weddings had "cancellation and rescheduling terms" that absolutely allowed for either a no price or low price schedule change in the event of something like a family death. so no i do not have any compassion for her refusing to postpone it as there were many ways to do it. anyone invited who gave s**t to them should have been uninvited. its pretty simple honestly.
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“I thought at one point when he was yelling at me, like is this what I wanted for the rest of my life?” said one woman during the research interviews. While a male participant revealed that he remembered thinking, "If she’s not listening to me while we’re planning this wedding, this is one day of our lives, does that mean she’s not gonna take anything into consideration after we’re married?”
The researchers found that for women, the process planning the wedding was often the catalyst that got them visualizing the future. For one bride, a simple task told her all she needed to know... “I had found a wedding dress that I liked and I was trying it on, and I looked at myself in the mirror and I thought ‘I hope that [my ex-fiance ́] and I are still friends after we get divorced.’”
#4
Maybe not "last minute" since we never got past the planning stage, but I threw all notion of planning a wedding out the window because every time we planned to announce our engagement and make plans for the wedding date and party, someone in my husband's family would pass away.
It happened 3x in a row, then covid took the world by storm, then my grandfather announced a heart revision surgery after his risky inital surgery years earlier, and while he survived and is perfectly fine now, *HE* announced *his* wedding, *and* my husband's surviving family left the state to move to a LOC of living area, so we simply gave up. I never wanted a blow out event or even a hired planner, just an intimate vow ceremony, signing the paperwork, and a small private party, so it was fine by me.
We ran off to the courthouse on our anniversary for vows and paperwork, and only invited our loved ones to meet us for brunch afterwards for an intimate yet casual "reception."
We brought cheesecake and cannolis home for dessert as the "wedding cake" lmao.
Lila Allen 2 weeks ago
It's sweet and a lovely proof that simple is usually best
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Hassel Davidhoff 2 weeks ago
Kinda like how my wife and I did it: at the courthouse, beers and dinner after. We met two years before that. I fell in love with her in, like, a week, 24 years later and I still do, every morning. She's amazing.
Anne Roberts 2 weeks ago
It isn't the ceremony that makes the marriage. It's the people in it.
#5
My fiancé saw me gardening and freaked out. He said he couldn’t marry someone who did manual labor lmao. Bullet dodged! Though technically he canceled it, with that explanation, I would have after hearing his discontent had he not….
Earonn - 2 weeks ago
So he had a cleaning and cooking service? Or is that kind of "manual labour" okay? Bullet dodged, indeed!
Michael Largey 2 weeks ago
Men like him don't consider cleaning or cooking "labor". They just regard it as a woman's genetic predisposition.
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Celtic Pirate Queen 2 weeks ago
Tending to your own garden is "manual labor". I guess technically, but W*F?
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
Not even a pot plant? EW, you missed a marriage with a ning nong there
#6
After a 3-year relationship and 18-month engagement, my ex decided he didn't want to get married after all. 10 days before the wedding. "You're not much fun to be around anymore (as I'm finishing up my degree, student teaching and planning a wedding...) And oh, by the way, would you mind me asking out your best friend?"
My mom called all of the people on my side who were invited, left the rest up to him/his family. Apparently a good few of them showed up at the church on the date.
He ended up hooking up with the wife of a frat brother, they ended up getting pregnant and married and quickly popped out 3 kids, then she cheated on HIM (and apparently she's married twice more since then.) He's been in one long-term relationship after another in the past 20+ years.
I just celebrated my 30th anniversary. Dodged a bullet, I did.
It was a bit different for the guys, say the researchers. Men who'd called off their weddings or engagements tended to do so after incompatibilities reared their ugly heads in the run-up to the big day. It might have been a small comment that got them thinking, or a glaring issue like disagreeing on whether or not to have kids.
Many of the study's participants, both male and female, admitted that the relationship problems had been there for a while. It just took something as big as a wedding for the couple to take their issues seriously.
#7
My fiancee won the lottery and wanted a bigger budget wedding. Thankfully I'm still the groom.
arthbach 2 weeks ago
I met a couple at my cousin's wedding who were in a similar situation. They loved each other, found out there was a baby on the way, and decided to get married quickly. Then he won the lottery, so they postponed the wedding as they now had the funds to have the celebration they really wanted. The newspapers got hold of the story, and spun it that he was a d*****g who dumped his pregnant fiancee. Thankfully the people who loved them knew the real story, and they had the wedding they wanted, and a beautiful little baby boy.
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
Hope she does not spend it all frivolously, as most big winners are unused to handling money correctly.
Megalodon Meg 2 weeks ago
They canceled the original wedding to have a bigger one.
Load More Replies... #8
Many years ago a colleague was getting married, I was invited to the wedding and his stag night.
The stag night was on the Thursday night before the Saturday wedding. We went for a curry then onto a nightclub, by about midnight I left and went home, leaving the groom and others to it.
This was pre mobile phone days, so on Saturday me and my girlfriend got ready, she'd bought a new dress and looked great, we'd booked a room in the hotel the reception was being held in.
Got to the church and at the door, the best man, the groom's brother was explaining that the wedding was off, the groom had met a girl at the club and spent the night with her, now decided she was the one for him and the wedding was off. And was calling his brother every name under the sun at the same time.
As the reception was all booked and paid for, he said we could go to the hotel and have the meal, stay for the disco and buffet if we wanted. Most of the work colleagues and various family were booked in there so we went and it ended up with about 50 people having an enjoyable but uniquely awkward evening.
Earonn - 2 weeks ago
Someone didn't want to get married and didn't have the guts to say so from the beginning or to call it off earlier.
CP 2 weeks ago
However one needs to muster the courage, it is far better than going through with it
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#9
I was diagnosed with cancer :( after already postponing our wedding due to COVID. I’m doing okay now and we just had a courthouse wedding, maybe we’ll do a vow renewal some day.
Billo66 2 weeks ago (edited)
On the flipside, when I was diagnosed, my EX ran away like her rear end was on fire. TBH I was relieved. It was a drüg fueled toxic relationship.
Calling off a wedding after things have been paid for and guests have been invited is no easy feat. That's why experts suggest you do the necessary introspection long before putting a ring on it.
"Before the relationship gets so serious that you’re considering engagement, take some time to really think about what a future relationship with your partner looks like," advises Psychology Today. "Are you truly compatible, not only in your day-to-day living, but also in terms of your values? Sit down and picture what your future life will look like with your partner. Envision that relationship both in good times and in bad."
Now ask yourself: "Do you like what you see?"
#10
Someone I know cancelled just days before the wedding. They said they loved the person, but something in their heart felt ‘not right,’ and they couldn’t ignore it anymore. It broke both families for a while, but looking back, it was one of the bravest, most honest things I’ve seen. Better a painful truth than a lifetime of pretending.
Billo66 2 weeks ago (edited)
Sadly it took 12 years for me to figure that out. She was a really good woman. She didn't deserve that. We never argued, never raised our voice. She loved me. I was an idiot. Then substance use finished it off. I regret that every day of my life.
Ghostchaplain16 2 weeks ago
The respectful way you say this speaks volumes about your character now, Billo66.
Load More Replies... #11
Had to cancel two weeks out. He lied about serving in the military and I come from a Navy family. When we met he told stories about how he served in the army, fast forward 4 years to the engagement and he is telling people how he served in the Marines. Turns out he took his dad’s Vietnam war stories, changed the branch/country/small details, and would pass the experiences off as his own.
After I confronted him, he chose denial & gaslighting, saying my memory was wrong. I went to my parents for help, they ran a background check and found no prior military service *and* criminal charges he’d never disclosed. They canceled everything while I packed up all his [things], crammed it into his car, and had it towed away while he was gone.
Found out while doing all that he had been cheating on me the entire time too. Go figure.
Pyla 2 weeks ago
The "having the car towed" sitch is an extra boss maneuver. Wow. Well done. Could have done the Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale where she sells everything for cheap and burns the rest in his beamer.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 weeks ago
WOW. My ex tried to tell me he was a NAVY Seal. I knew he'd been in the Navy and had seen his "general discharge" paperwork. He kept insisting he was a SEAL and I finally lost it - I said, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure you have to have 3 digits in your IQ to be a Seal".
#12
He said “I don’t wanna marry you then you just get fat.”
I realized I didn’t want to marry him.
Billo66 2 weeks ago
I bet she felt great not dragging a useless 14 stone around her neck.
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Apatheist Account2 2 weeks ago
The old joke - "Do you realise that there's two stone of you that I'm not legally married to?"
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
Looks are the first attraction, then getting to know the real person is the best recipe for a long relationship based on respect, and oddly, the love that alters format but often becomes stronger later on.
The site also suggests take the necessary time to seriously evaluate the relationship so that you can spot any red flags early on.
"Don’t get so wrapped up in falling in love that you’re forgiving major issues like constant conflict, emotional ab*se, or cheating," it notes. "See them for who they are now, well before you’re planning a wedding. Compatibility counts… is this the type of relationship you always wanted?"
At the end of the day, canceling a wedding on the last minute can be expensive, sad and even embarrassing. But many would argue that it's a whole lot better than living a life of regret and unhappiness.
#13
I found out he was living with another woman in another state. She was his “broker.” Not. Additionally, when people started finding out about me canceling, a male friend of mine reached out to ask if it was because of his cheating? I hadn’t shared any details so I asked what he was talking about. Turns out they had been [texting] each other. So apparently he was just hooking up with anyone willing. I’m no longer friends with that male “friend.” I left my ex. He stalked me. I prosecuted him.
Michael Largey 2 weeks ago
Men who cheat with another woman are usually the ones who end up broker.
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
ew ew eew what a loser you are, lucky he is out of your life and hopefully your heart
#14
Not me, but my aunt and her ex-fiancé.
My aunt was found out to be stealing from my grandma... a lot. Like over $50k. And my grandma had dementia, too.
My grandma had spoiled my aunt her whole life, bought her everything she wanted with no strings attached no matter how much she [messed] up... but that wasn't enough for my aunt, apparently. She got arrested (I think felony grand larceny?), disowned by the family, and her fiancé dumped her when he found out, and now is with a much better woman.
#15
I was engaged for 3 years to a single mother, she was great, a fantastic girlfriend/fiancé, the relationship was near perfect.. except for one thing, her 8 year old boy.
Over the 3 years, his behaviour was getting progressively worse, mostly at school, but he started to bring the behaviour home. Around my fiance, he’d be as good as gold. The moment her back was turned, or she’d pop out to the shops, he would turn into an absolute terror.
He’d break things and blame me, he would harm my dog (I caught him trying to pull my dogs eyes out ffs), he’d steal my things etc.
My home life was miserable because of it, my only happiness came from when he was at his fathers every other weekend, and at 4pm on the Sunday when he’d return home, it was like a storm cloud coming over all of a sudden.
I was depressed, stressed, which caused me to gain an enormous amount of weight, I would lock myself away in the bedroom just to be away from him.
Then one day I realised I could leave, so I did. 2 months before the wedding. My family were pissed, her family were pissed, but nobody saw how miserable I was.
Fast forward 2 years, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, I’m the leanest I’ve ever been, I managed to secure a high paying job, I’m debt free with a healthy amount of savings, and for the first time in my life I feel like I’ve achieved something, and I’m proud of that.
God knows where I’d be if I had gone through with the wedding.
Lila Allen 2 weeks ago
This is the fiancee's fault. She should have set up therapy for the kid and as a family and gotten him help.
Zoe Vokes 2 weeks ago
I know. It’s crazy that they stayed knowing that the dog wasn’t safe and possibly neither were they.
Load More Replies... Sally Moen 2 weeks ago
Well the kid got rewarded for their bad behavior, he did manage to break the couple up. I'm with the others commenting here, the ex-fiancee ought to get that boy into therapy and pronto
Tommy DePaul 2 weeks ago
The end of the revenge scenario will be mom visiting son in prison. He's a psychopath.
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago (edited)
Just as well for that child was so angry at anyone his mother looked at and not his own father, there could have been worse consequences. I hope you took the dog away pronto before it bit him, finally or was damaged more.
#16
I was 18 and he was 23 in the navy when we met in Sicily. We decided to elope in Malta with a few of his friends over a quick weekend trip.
I had just started bc pills so when we got there, I was feeling very nauseous and blah. So he went out with the boys the night before the elopement.
Around 3am the door loudly opens with him in the arms of his friends being almost carried. He is DRUNK and he is ANGRY. He punches one of his friends in the face and they immediately looked at me and said “This is who you’re gonna marry”. And they left.
Meanwhile, he gets more volatile, I’m crying.
I did the fawn response that night and then next day when he was too sick to remember or care about eloping and then noped the [hell] out.
No.
Marno C. 2 weeks ago
It is another option besides fight or flight. You can fawn over the threat, appeasing them to calm them down until the situation de-escalates or it is safe to get away. A fourth 'F' is fornicate (well, there's another, blunter F word that can be used). It can be connected to fawning, or a redirection of the aggressive emotions and energies, or a strange reaction to an existential threat. You see the last one with those couples who fight like crazy and then, well, couple like crazy. Or, the urge people have after major storms or crisis events because it feels weirdly affirming. It can also be a reaction after cheating or threats to break up (see: 'hysterical bonding.') People have interesting reactions to stress and threats.
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#17
Three weeks before the wedding (during Thanksgiving dinner), he told me that he had been cheating on me the entire time we were together.
After our guests left, I proceeded to destroy his kitchen. He threatened to call the police if I broke anything else. So, I threw a chair through a window.
I called a friend to come pick me up. He never did call the cops. I seriously thought he was going to.
Three months later, he married his girlfriend. The day he got married, I sold my engagement ring to my neighbor for $20.
Within five years time, his wife had a baby with another man, they got divorced, he moved back to his home state, and I got an email from his sister telling me that he had a heart attack while on a ski trip and didn't survive it.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 weeks ago
OP definitely shouldn't have trashed his kitchen nor thrown the chair through the window. That's not okay, no matter what OP's fiancé did.
Shark queen 🦈🦈🦈 2 weeks ago (edited)
Agree. Why trash the kitchen? Glitter would have been better. It's not illegal and he will never be free of it.
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Sly Schlang 2 weeks ago
People call it karma that people they don't know die painfully and miserably. Just because of s****y cheating in a relationship they deserve to die? Not attacking anyone, not selling substances to minors or shooting someone? Wow. Judgement really seems to be an a*******n. Friends take a break and share some forgiveness for this complicated world we live in
Janelle Collard 2 weeks ago (edited)
Hello, Karma! The cheating wife + not surviving a heart attack. Sometimes bad people *do* get their just desserts!
#18
My ex was having an affair and told me less than a month before the wedding after lying about invitations, vendors, etc. She then gaslit me into saying it was me before finally confessing to the affair once I found evidence at our house.
It was for the best. I'm now happily married to a normal, stable woman and have a family.
I do wish ill upon my ex and hope she has a [bad] life still, though.
Earonn - 2 weeks ago
That's perfectly understandable. We need to stop to always demand from the hurt party to be the "better person".
nicholas nolan 2 weeks ago
Is it understandable, though? Seems a bit "drinking poison" to me. It's clearly been a long time.
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Nikki Sevven 2 weeks ago
There's no need to wish ill upon those who have hurt you. Their behavior guarantees their bad life. Just move on and let karma do its thing.
Betty Spaghetti 2 weeks ago
Nah. Luck doesn’t care if you’ve been good or bad.
Load More Replies... Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
Nope, let those bad feelings go as she is not feeling them at all, you are, and they become obsessive and damaging to your & your loved one's lives if not let go.
Marian Paroo 2 weeks ago
I totally understand you. I feel that way about many people these days
#19
Called it off six weeks out when I realized it was all just wrong.
Instead of a honeymoon, I took myself on a 'oneymoon' (one-ee-moon). Best solo trip of my life.
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
Yes, especially if you mentally decided it was a holiday, not a honeymoon and were able to meet others without any scandals or promises! No need to tell people the real tale, it does not work well.....get sympathy, maybe an intimate night or two with another, but all hollow if thought of what if?
#20
My coworker's best friend was getting married in her hometown of Charleston, SC. It was going to be a huge celebration with many in attendance. The morning of the rehearsal dinner, literally the day before the wedding, a sobbing young woman arrives at the rental where most of the wedding party was staying. She confessed that she had been having an affair with the groom-to-be for months. The bride was an emotional wreck, and her family lost a lot of money, but she definitely dodged a bullet.
Michael Largey 2 weeks ago
Hope that was it. Such confessions are sometimes acts of revenge on the former lover or an attempt to keep him available.
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Scott Rackley 2 weeks ago
I just don't get having an affair. If you want to s***w someone that bad, just break up, it's not going to last.
Zoe Vokes 2 weeks ago
Some people think they’re too smart to be caught and are incapable of caring about their partner’s feelings. Plus, in their mind partner will forgive them if caught because they’re such a special catch.
Load More Replies... Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
So much of this goes on. Why can't the grooms or brides be honest? Because their life together costs to get married might be forfeited? Are they setting themselves up for future mishaps? More than likely!
Zoe Vokes 2 weeks ago
Because he wanted to get married to OP but still wanted to have affairs and cheat on her. He wasn’t picking affair partner over her and he probably didn’t want to break up with OP.
Load More Replies... #21
Our wedding was scheduled for March 21st, 2020. The world kinda shut down on us.
We are finally getting married March 21st, 2026, so I guess it was more delayed than cancelled.
BookFanatic 2 weeks ago
A couple of friends got married late 2020. It was a small wedding anyway, and the moms on both side stayed up sewing masks in the bride's colors with their initials for all the guests. Absolutely adorable.
Northern Breeze 2 weeks ago
We were scheduled for July 2020 and had to postpone to August 2021... I don't regret a thing :)
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
That is a long, long wait. Why not marry quietly with just your chosen witnesses and have the reception later? My cousin did that, and they are closer than ever, and have two sets of wedding pictures, ones at the Church in simple clothes and many at the celebration party later on when things settled down with Covid, and she was a real bride with all those they wanted to be happy with them. It worked so well.
Zoe Vokes 2 weeks ago
That’s what I thought. Surely the marriage is more important than the wedding
Load More Replies... pat hayes 2 weeks ago
i believe these posters were delayed due to the Covid Pandemic....at least thats what i gathered🤔
Load More Replies... #22
I had to cancel the wedding with my fiance about a month before the scheduled date.
As she sat on a hospital bed.
In a psychiatric unit.
That'd I'd placed her in against her wishes.
I'd had to choose between her health and our relationship, and I chose the former.
Michael Largey 2 weeks ago
How could he place her in a psychiatric unit against her will when he's only her fiancee (which has no legal status)?
nicholas nolan 2 weeks ago
You can provide evidence to a judge that results in a commitment order.
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M Whee 1 week ago
My friend's fiance was supposed to pick her up after work, he'd talked with her that afternoon. Then radio silence. After three days of not getting through, she went to his parent's home where he lived. His mom didn't want to let her in but she pushed her way in and found him in the middle of some kind of serious mental breakdown. His parents were trying to hide the issue so he would become her responsibility. She eventually had to sue to recover her half of what had already been spent on the wedding.
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago (edited)
Love has many faces. Yet your words also echo a fear of your controlling nature, not nurture.
lenka 2 weeks ago
Psych units wont take someone who is just "having a difficult time". I can assure you - it is hard to get them placed and the standards of placements against the patients wishes is very very high. As someone who has had to involuntarily admit my brother I can promise you this is a last ditch effort not some f*****g whim of fancy.
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#23
I was diagnosed with Stage 2B cancer 40 days out from my luxury destination wedding in Italy. My doctors wouldn't tell me I wasn't allowed to travel, but they highly advised I not postpone treatment. We had a 12 person ceremony on my 3rd to last treatment day instead.
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
I wish you a lifetime of love and laughter ahead together. Italy can wait.
#24
Ooof. This one hits close to home.
We met while hiking across America. Both of us were hiking from Mexico to Canada that summer, and met a few hundred miles into our hike. Spent the next 1,500 miles and four years together.
Eleven days before our wedding she claimed to have a "spiritual awakening" that led her to change her mind. She canceled everything. We had already put down deposits and paid for everything. The travel, the venue, the... everything. Both our families had purchased tickets to fly out to Colorado where the wedding was planned.
It led me into the worst chapter of my life. Shortly after I ended up moving out into my car. I was still in love with her. She was my entire world and I thought she was the one I'd spend my life with. It left me devastated, but it was like a light had just flipped in her head and she decided she was no longer in love. We tried living together for a while, but it was the most painful experience of my life. She just completely flipped and saw me as nothing more than a roommate. It destroyed me. And that's why I had to leave the home we shared.
I thought I might have to change cities. She was still close with all our shared friends and I suddenly found myself completely alone. I couldn't attend social gatherings without seeing her and watching her date the friends we used to share. Even writing about it now, years later is hard.
I ended up living out of my car and in my work office for about six months before finding a place for my own. But even that gave me pain. I'd still see her in town more often than I could believe. And every time I saw her it led me into another downward spiral.
Eventually I made the decision to physically leave our shared town for my own mental health. I left and went back to doing what we were doing before we met. I left this last summer to hike the Appalachian Trail and try to find peace within myself again.
In what would have been our second wedding anniversary I woke up with a hang over from drinking the night before and decided I needed to do something for myself. I quit drinking that day. For good. I made our anniversary into the day that I became sober.
Life has still been a big struggle for me since then, but sometimes I feel like I'm making progress.
Literally just last night I dreamed that we were meeting again. I still have those dreams often.
That event, and her "spiritual awakening" have been the most detrimental experiences of my adult life.
Michael Largey 2 weeks ago
The girlfriend of a friend of mine in college told him that she had had a spiritual transformation and was moving to Colorado to get her head together. (Yes, people seriously talked like that back then.) Actually she just moved across town to live with her new boyfriend. I forget which of us got the job of finally telling him.
Zoe Vokes 2 weeks ago
That’s a really mean way to break up with someone. It doesn’t provide closure or answers for OP. She could have just said why she didn’t want to get married, even if it was just “I realised I don’t want to settle down yet.”
Slmd 1 week ago
Something tells me it was more than that, especially considering how she left so quickly and started dating friends without remorse.
Load More Replies... Sally Moen 2 weeks ago
Using your anniversary as your sobriety date aka your absolute bottom, well that is genius! It puts the ex right where they deserve to be: the before time
highwaycrossingfrog 5 days ago
I had a switch flip relationship. We'd been together for 2 and a half years, and I genuinely thought our relationship was in the strongest place it had ever been. Then I got a new job and suddenly I lost all interest in the relationship. I still feel a little bad about it, but it was 20 years ago, we were young, and he's now married with 2 kids and I'm in a relationship with the most wonderful person I've ever met, so it's all fine. My sister is married to his cousin so we still see each other occasionally and there are no regrets
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
I hope you find the answer to let it go, as it is your past, never your future, and she has long forgotten you. I think if trail walking is so therapeutic for you, keep it up ( safely, please)and let nature heal your grief and anger. Make new contacts, do not live off memories, enjoy new ones, it works even if only a couple that are true friends are better than being lost in a former crowd. That marriage was never meant to be. Accept that and you will allow yourself to be open to a better and more lasting love. Do not live in the past, or life will be filled with many important missed opportunities.
#25
My fiance's mom [passed away] of a rare and unexpected brain cancer a week before we were supposed to get married. She was the sweetest and most vibrant person ever. My mom isn't very sweet or emotional, so I was so excited to have her as my mother in law. It didn't seem appropriate to get married for the obvious reasons. We're still together but I'm hesitant to plan an entire other wedding. We'll probably just get eloped at this point...
Lila Allen 2 weeks ago
Eloping is awesome and more people should do it. My husband and I eloped. No regrets at all. Married 18 years
Manny 1 week ago
Did the same back in 1995, still together. Best thing ever.
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Uncle Schmickle 1 week ago
Sad about your potential MIL passing away. BTW : you don't " get " eloped ..... you elope.
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago (edited)
If you are truly in love and just want to get together formalised, do it privately. Maybe a celebration party at a later date. I have a relative who did this, and they are still happy years later.
#26
Didn't happen to me, but a mate of a mate - let's call him Tom. The Bride turned into a bridezilla, which he could deal with, but the family were adding to it as well. So he was marrying into money, but certainly wasn't from money, and he told her, *"Look, we can do whatever you want, but we can't do black tie. I want all my people to be able to wear their suits and not have to worry about the cost".*
She said fine - her dad said that they'd pay for it, so the wedding was shaping up to be one of those mega weddings - in a castle, she'll have two wedding dresses, a massive iconic church for the ceremony, etc. A big wedding, so to speak. About a month before the wedding, she sent updated dress codes to all the guests without telling him.
He got a phone call from his brother saying that he thought it wasn't a black tie and there wasn't much time left. So he spoke to her and she said he's got it wrong or whatever, to come to the house (her parents were buying it as a gift - and she was decorating it). He went there, and her dad was there - and she wasn't.
Basically, the dad laid out all the expenses that were going into this wedding, the gift he was giving them, the location, the strings pulled to make this perfect for her daughter and how it would just not look right if only her side of the family were wearing black tie. He was asked that no one would be able to get tuxedos now, but it turns out that all her side was informed it was black tie from the get-go, and they were hoping that he would come around to the idea of the tuxedo naturally when they saw the venue/church, etc.
Tom said that he's going to message everyone on his side of the wedding and tell them to ignore the last message. The dad said something about being ridiculous, the whole event will be a massive waste of money, and he has a mind to pull the whole thing because it's costing him too much. Oh, I should mention, Tom isn't really normal, he has very strong opinions of principles and told him something to the effect that he's going to message everyone on both sides of the family that it's no longer black tie as this the agreement that he made with his wife, and there will be a notice on the wedding site that only suits are required.
The dad said if he does that, he'll pay for nothing, and the wedding is off. Tom said Sounds like the wedding - obviously the fiancé heard from her father and told him to grow up, that she spoke to Tom's parents and they don't mind. Tom then sent an email saying the wedding was off.
I wasn't invited, but I spoke to Tom, and I said from the outside, I think he massively overreacted. For him, though, he said he no longer trusted the person he was marrying, that he asked for one thing, and instead of being truthful, she went behind his back three times. He also said that the father unveiled himself that day, and he absolutely did not want to be in debt to him.
TLDR: Wedding was cancelled due to the dress code.
Ace 2 weeks ago
You think he overreacted? I think he was very late in seeing the problem, TBH. He was never going to be able to control anything about his life if the marriage had gone ahead. Glad he got out in time.
Papa 2 weeks ago
I agree. When she went behind his back and changed something they had agreed on (at least he thought they had) he was completely justified.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 2 weeks ago
Respectful dress is only an important at a funeral. And some weddings do classify as one.
Anne Roberts 2 weeks ago
It sounds like his life would have been an uphill struggle if he had married her. Daddy's money would always come between them and his own wishes
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
I find this very petty and obvious that the couple to be married did not share the same ideals or principles for a future together without some financial discrimination ahead!!.
Uncle Schmickle 1 week ago
Right decision to cancel the wedding. Overbearing Father in law and Bridezilla .... what a combination !
#27
I spent the weeks leading up to our wedding horribly depressed, hurting myself, and afraid I was going to commit. My fiancé didn’t know how to handle it, wasn’t trying to get me to stop, and couldn’t accept that I needed major changes in our life to be happy (mainly that I couldn’t live in the small town he grew up in and moved us back to; he refused to leave.) I felt stuck and hopeless and like my life was over at 24. I had no local friends or family close enough to see the alarm bells, I was so afraid for my life. I called off the wedding about a month prior because I thought, “I just shouldn’t feel like this as a bride, this is supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life.” I got a new job in a new city (that was actually a city) and built a new life. I’m still suffering financially from the mortgage in our names that he won’t refinance after 7 years, but at least I’m [alive].
Lila Allen 2 weeks ago
She can simply file a quit claim deed for the amount she put in to the house as long as she has documentation. That will force him to either sell or refinance and pay her out what she is owed
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Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago (edited)
Difficultly when you are committed to a mortgage, I hope the house can be sold, and you get the opportunity to have your path clarified. I am surprised he has not been decent enough to agree or offer to pay you out if he wants to keep the property. There are ways, but not always fair. And you should benefit from your share.
#28
Met a couple on their way to the courthouse to get married a few years ago. Apparently they had to cancel their ceremony because a mudslide caused by Hurricane Helene flooding took the church they were supposed to get married in right off the side of the mountain.
Betty Spaghetti 2 weeks ago
Yes, the hint was to just take it to the courthouse lol
Load More Replies... #29
This happened the day before I was due to send the invitations out. 9 years together.
Comes home from a work trip looking like a kicked puppy. Refused to say a word to me. I finally say “it feels like we’re breaking up” to which he nodded, while still maintaining zero eye contact. No explanation other than “I’ve never found you attractive” (do they all have the same playbook?)
Turns out he was banging a mutual friend back in our home country, who he then flew over to the US where we lived. She quit her job and lost all of her friends (my friends), gave up her house to be with this loser. She stayed for the duration of the visa - around three months - after which he then very unceremoniously dumped her because she had served her purpose (distract him from the breakup and help him get his life and new apartment together.)
Even I thought that was cold as hell.
Earonn - 2 weeks ago
He is shyte, but maybe that 'mutual friend' will learn not to fvck men who are in a relationship.
Zoe Vokes 2 weeks ago
What? The man who is willing to cheat on his partner didn’t end up being Prince Charming? No way!
Load More Replies... #30
COVID happened.
We already had a private BnB booked for the two of us, so we went ahead and drove the 9 hours to our intended ceremony site (outdoors in a park) and privately said the vows he had prepared.
Came back two years later and actually had the official wedding.
It ended up really working out, because my brother, the originally-planned officiant, ended up stabbing us in the back and burning bridges with everyone in my family. We're very grateful he didn't end up actually being a part of the best day of our lives and tainting those memories.
CanadianaKa 2 weeks ago
My assistant was supposed to get married two weeks into Covid on a cliffside in Hawaii. A few days before the pandemic was declared, as we were watching the news, she looked at me and said "I'm not going to Hawaii, am I?" I advised her to start the refund process on airfare and hotel before the rush started. They ended up getting married a few years later, but on their original planned wedding day I had gourmet cookies and the such delivered so they'd at least still have something to smile about.
#31
My Wife's ex colleague had a wedding cancelled on her by her boyfriend with days to go.
She wanted to get married because everyone else around her was but boyfriend wasn't on the same page: they broke up.
Then she completely melted down, she was on the train home and told my wife she was nipping to the loo, and then she came out of the loo [bare]. She had flushed all her clothes down the toilet and didn't make any sense.
My wife placed a coat around her and phoned her parents, who came to the station to get her. I think she went to a hospital. She had just broken down with no apparent warning.
Mental health is no joke.
My wife left the company and I don't know what happened to the lady after, but I sure hope she's ok.
Tommy DePaul 2 weeks ago
Losing one's mind is not usually a volitional act . . . .
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#32
My ex was a narcissist and let his mask fall before the wedding so, I had time to cancel everything 6 weeks before we were suppsed to be getting married. Broke up for good 2 months after that, and I've been blooming ever since. He doesn't deserve me.
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
You really dodged one of the worst legal alliances ever..and able to exhale
#33
Not me but wedding I was supposed to attend. Bride had a burst ulcer the night before, lost like half of her blood, and spent a week in ICU.
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
Life is full of surprises. I hope she recovered, had proper medical treatment, and married the man when better, if he was by her side all this time? No pomp and glory and pretty things are remembered from most weddings by guests, but the couple do.
#34
Oh one that applies to me!
Two months before (considering the amount of money put down, I’d call it last minute) we were arguing a lot over stupid stuff. I suggested couples counseling, which she refused.
I’ve always felt like I dodged a bullet there.
Lila Allen 2 weeks ago
You did. If it's not both of you against the problem, it's not going to work. Being married and keeping it good takes work.
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
Couple counselling is a clue to future misunderstandings as well. It can help initially, but old habits usually resurface. ( Not about me)
#35
Not my story. Ale story of a colleague of my mom. They had to cancel because their mom (/mother in law - depends who perspective you are looking from). She just got too much involved. Started inviting her own friends (essentially treating it as her oportunity to showcase the daughters success to her social circle) etc. It got to the level that it was clear the bride will not actually have the wedding she wanted.
They cancelled on the last minute. And had another wedding, later, being more carefull who they will invite.
BookFanatic 2 weeks ago
My cousin did this. She and her mom (both very strong-willed and opinionated women) kept butting heads over every detail. So Cuz called her fiancé to meet her at the airport and they eloped to Vegas. Wish I'd been a fly on the wall when she told her mom.
Lila Allen 2 weeks ago
My mom gave me great advice to look very carefully at an SO's family before committing. Because you truly do marry the family not just the person.
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
Weddings plans often bring out the best and the worst in families
#36
Everyone was being over bearing. People were complaining about this and that. We eloped. It was the best decision we ever made.
#37
Category 3 hurricane, roads were treacherous, threatened vendors and guests on the way to the venue. Parents and in-laws shamed, blamed, and accused us of all manner of things in addition to not being true believers of God because we didn’t want to risk anyone’s lives.
Michael Largey 2 weeks ago
Getting stuck with a family like that will strain your belief in God's protection.
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
Yikes..you don't control the weather, nor does any God; the climate does. : Parents sound as if they were offended, not grateful their children were safe
#38
Not us but the other couple that our planner was working with at the time.
They were, according to our planner, super-non-committal about the preparation. Or at least the groom was. He kept kicking the can down the road on any big decisions. Then it became clear why - not only had he been cheating for a while, by the time the couple cancelled, the other girl was 3 months pregnant.
Papa 2 weeks ago
That's one of the kinder things I can think of to call him.
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#39
Wife’s mother was main breadwinner and had agreed to fund the reception. She also had delusions of grandeur so it was expensive. She lost her job and expected us to cover it. I said no. Cue lots of pouting and tantrums from her and fiancée. Ultimately fiancée agreed to postpone for a year and go smaller. Best decision ever.
Lila Allen 2 weeks ago
According to research the more expensive the wedding the more likely you'll end up divorced
Dusty's mom 2 weeks ago
Cousin had a fancy do with live entertainment, full dinner, and all the trimmings. Divorced. Our wedding cost us under $5000, including honeymoon. Just celebrated 25 years. Big weddings raise high expectations, and often they can't be met.
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Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
Sounds more like your M.I.L 's wedding, not her daughter's! Pleased it was sorted out properly and not based on emotional responses.
#40
Her Grandad had a stroke. He was going to walk her down the aisle. She was kinda looking for an excuse to (and, frankly, I was too a little bit) as her Dad and my Mum had started to take over and weren’t listening to us: we wanted small and personal, friends sharing the catering etc.; they wanted vintage cars and caterers. But if her Grandad had made a full recovery then maybe it would have happened. We got pregnant not long after and then we had a small baby. It didn’t seem a priority anymore.
Michael Largey 2 weeks ago
No, statistically most babies are in the medium range (for babies, of course). Not as many are born in the smaller and larger ranges.
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Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
Grandad died? Your baby was born. It is said that the loss of a relative is heralded by a new baby in the family.
highwaycrossingfrog 5 days ago
Bollocks. People die, people are born. Happens all the time. There's no reason to assume that one affects the other
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#41
3 months before our wedding, my ex finally admitted he didn't want to go forward with it, turned out he was extremely commitment phobe.
13 years later, Im happily married, he's jumping from relationship to relationship because at some point, his partners want some form of commitment that he's not able to give, and we're still friends.
#42
She came home just under a month before our wedding date and ended the relationship. No warning. No fights. No mention of any serious grievances prior to ending things. Just surprised me after work and said we are incompatible and then she was gone. In hindsight there were definitely issues we needed to address, but to end the relationship outright less than a month before the wedding without talking about things was the route she took. Obviously the wedding was cancelled because of this.
I randomly met someone that knows an ex of hers and they said that she blindsided him with a breakup too (though not engaged). She moved most of her stuff out over a month and that was that. This was over the summer and was devastating on so many levels. I am still unpacking in therapy and trying my best to work through it positively. Tough when someone you were fully committed to and truly love goes out for milk and a pack of smokes. On the plus side, it’s inspired some positive changes in my life. Would not recommend though.
#43
5, 1/2 years. On my birthday. 3 weeks before the wedding. She told me she was leaving. Pretty much that was it. No discussion.
No follow up. Just ghosted after she packed her things.
My daughter was devastated. Never saw her again. Blocked on everything.
Two weeks before she gave me a card telling me how much she loved me and couldn’t wait to marry.
I’ll never understand it.
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
Some things cannot be explained, they are just a gut feeling, and best to act on them, not suffer worse pain that could have been, if not. Children need to know they are loved, not only parented. I am sure it was a hard decision for your partner, too.
Lila Allen 2 weeks ago
Or she was cheating and decided not to go through with the wedding.
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#44
Not me, but a friend had to recently cancel her wedding 10 days prior because her mom went into a coma due to MRSA. She passed away a few weeks later. RIP.
Lila Allen 2 weeks ago
So tragic. Here's hoping after time passes they are able to have their wedding or maybe just elope. I know from other friends that it's super hard to have a wedding after a loss like this. Just feeling the empty seat
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
Sad but weddings can wait when you need to spend valuable time with your loved one, especially a dying parent. I assume the marriage took place at a more appropriate time.
#45
Four months before the wedding and nine years into the relationship she told me she didn't want kids, despite years of planning on it. Apparently she thought I didn't care.
We originally postponed to give ourselves the chance to re-figure out our life together, but two things emerged. She didn't really want to do anything with our lives, or at least allow me the chance to do what I wanted with mine. She didn't like to travel very much, and didn't want to move to a better city for our careers. She just wanted a simple life where we hung out together, essentially what we had been doing. And while that was great, it sounded deeply unsatisfying to make a life out of. I was ashamed to feel that way. Still am, to an extent.
Secondly she became what seemed quite offended that I couldn't just give her what she wanted. She started bringing up other problems she suddenly had with me, giving me ultimatums despite me asking her not to, and outright refused to help me understand her life vision. She moved out after a couple weeks, and only wanted to meet and talk once a week. She didn't want to see couples counseling. It fell apart from there.
It took me a long time to understand it all. I felt like the problem the whole time. Sometimes it still feels like a huge mistake to let her go.
We're both party members of some mutual friends' wedding next year. That will be hard.
Michael Largey 2 weeks ago
So she was essentially against change in their lives unless it was a change she wanted to make (having children).
Earonn - 2 weeks ago
Would be interesting to hear her version. Not that he necessarily did something bad, just to understand better what was going on between them.
Lila Allen 2 weeks ago
It seems like she wanted a simple life with just them as a couple and living in the town and such and he wanted travel and kids and advanced careers. Just mismatched entirely
Load More Replies... Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
Remember, it didn't work, and no point in trying to remind each other differently. Difficult position to be in and perhaps insensitive to the bride and groom. (unless they are trying to bring you two back together. Hope not) However, do not waste emotions on what might happen or be; just keep an open mind, and know it didn't work as you still have the same different ideals on married life. It would have been best if both of you had new partners to feel more secure and less awkward..
#46
Not me but a friend’s sister whom I’m close with the family:
They’d been dating since college, 8 years together and were approaching 30. She was a motivated medical professional and the only thing he seemed to want to do was still chase his dream of being a pro sports player but was probably already past his prime there. We’re not sure if he was pressured to propose or why he even did in the first place honestly because as soon as the wedding planning started he was clearly emotionally checked out. There are a lot of personal things we all speculated about but ultimately we don’t *really* know what went wrong and only have what he said to go by. Multiple people commented on how uninterested in the whole thing he seemed to be but didn’t necessarily take that as him not wanting to get married.
2 weeks before the wedding he disappeared and when he finally met up with his fiancé he called the wedding off. Stated he was having lots of mental issues and just couldn’t do it but it felt like that wasn’t the whole story. Everything was already paid for and the bride’s family spent a week calling every vendor and trying to work out something with them to recoup any of the money and telling their family the news. Groom’s family wanted nothing to do with it, they certainly didn’t seem interested in telling people not to go or helping the bride’s family get any money back (when they were supposed to split everything and had apparently not paid their part yet).
It’s been maybe 2 years now since then. I don’t think she’s doing all that great to be honest unfortunately, getting better but definitely a difficult time for her and I have no idea how he’s doing. He disappeared from our lives entirely. .
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
Move on, she should have before the wedding was planned; it was obvious that they were mismatched.
#47
Attended a wedding where the bride didn't show. Appears she woke up that morning and decided she didn't want to go through with it.
Never found out why.
#48
My parents were in a car accident the night before.
Lila Allen 2 weeks ago
Thank you... Drives me nuts when there is not enough context
Load More Replies... #49
My fiancé and I decided to postpone our wedding when I broke my ankle (very badly) four months before our wedding date. That was a year and a half ago and we no longer talk about getting married, but we are still together.
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
Maybe you should remain friends??? My broken foot event had no man waiting for me in the nine months it took to heal without any weight bearing, to walk again. I was not able to go home, but into respite or a hospital at that time. When I finally did, my two cats fled in fear. I think they thought I had died. They were back by nightfall. But I will never forget that shock ..mine too. I was so looking forward to the reunion. Life, eh?
#50
I realized we would have ended up divorcing within the year if I’d have stayed and I REALLY don’t want to end up divorced at any point. Also I hated everything we had planned for the wedding and even a month out I still hadn’t really been “officially” proposed to, we just kind of agreed that we were engaged at one point and he said he’d propose with the ring and all that but never did. I should’ve also known when the venue we originally looked at permanently closed abruptly and everything we kept aiming for kept falling through, feels like a sign looking back. We also had a kid together and he wasn’t a good or present dad and even less so of a partner. I was miserable. We had to do mandatory marriage counseling to be able to get married in our church (I’m no longer religious either) and by the second session my intuition was SCREAMING at me to leave. So I did. I walked away a month before our wedding, a week before our son’s first birthday. Lost every bit of money we’d paid into it and I just let it go.
I’m now married to a wonderful man who I just welcomed a new baby with last week. I’m glad I waited but it took me nearly 10 years to find my now husband.
#51
The Grooms mother [passed away] in the early morning on the wedding day. They canceled the wedding obviously due to how sad and shocked they all were. She was healthy. It was a brain aneurysm that ruptured or stroke or something. The couple got married 6 months later at the court house and had a small reception a year later.
#52
We cancelled our wedding a few months before. We’d rushed into booking something, paid deposits, sent out invites, but then realised actually, we don’t want a big wedding. We’re both low key people and planning was just getting on top of us, plus the cost was spiralling. We decided to just cancel before the next set of deposits were due. We lost around 3k in deposits, but it was definitely the right choice for us.
The wedding should have been in June, we’re still together, still planning on getting married once we’ve cleared some debts. We’re just going to elope somewhere with our son, his and my best friend (simply so we don’t have the ‘you didn’t invite…’ complaints from family) and come back married, then have a reception/party a few months later.
Lila Allen 2 weeks ago
I swear it's easier. No major expenses. No stressful planning or compromises or family input. No pressure. Just you and your SO together making a promise.
Dusty's mom 2 weeks ago
Just have a party. Receptions can be costly, and totally unnecessary. Have your best pals over for a buffet and game night, don't mention it's a marriage reception, and move forward with your lives. If there's room, have the kids over too. You're way past needing a wedding reception. Get on with your lives and keep saving money. Never know when something big might come up: storms, car crash, injuries, etc. Being prudent and easygoing will get you much further than a big bash.
#53
My ex's family had money. They were going to buy the house we found & wanted, cash, and we were going to repay them in full, mortgage style. We split up when her mother started telling us how I was going to renovate the house, how we were going to do this and that. I said I think it would be good to live in it for a year and learn about the house a bit. She said "If we are paying for this house, you are doing it my way"! I told her I don't like the house anymore. Then, during the wedding planning, same thing. We didn't really have a say in it. Mom was trying to impress her friends. The stress go so bad, we just split up. Bullet dodged.
Michael Largey 2 weeks ago
"No, ma'am, we are paying for the house - you are selling it. The mortgage payments you will be receiving from us are our money, not yours."
#54
Not me but a girl I worked with at a temporary job after grad school.
She had recently gotten engaged and moved for the job, but her fiancee stayed behind in another city. They were planning to rendezvous, move in together, and get married the next year.
But she became infatuated with someone else almost the first day of our new jobs. It was another coworker.
She spent the next six months ignoring everyone else at work, following new guy everywhere like a little puppy dog, announcing every week how much deposits she would lose if she canceled her wedding by such and such date, as it drew closer, all the while insisting she and new guy were "just friends."
She eventually did cancel but continued to insist she and new guy were just good friends. On the last day of the year-long job, the new guy stands up at lunch and says he has an announcement. The two of them have been secretly dating and will be getting an apartment together. There was a moment of silence then laughter. "We all knew. You guys weren't fooling anyone!"
Ten years later, they're married with kids. Dunno what happened to the fiancee.
Learner Panda 2 weeks ago
It is important to get the titles right. There's a lot of difference between fiancé and fiancée.
#55
First wedding, cancelled it two weeks before (engaged for over a year). Realized I had been the one doing all the planning and work. He didn’t seem interested. He wasn’t supportive of my mental health and basically said he couldn’t commit if he didn’t think I’d be alive in a few years. For some reason I dated him for 6 more months before we separated completely.
Second wedding (engaged for a year and a half) cancelled a month-ish before. With that guy I had an epiphany moment that I wasn’t in love with him anymore and didn’t want to be married to someone who didn’t want to work on himself and just smoke [illegal substances] all day. The relationship was done, and I left him.
When I married my now wife, we eloped bc I wasn’t dealing with all that a third time lol.
Lukas (he/him, it/its) 2 weeks ago
OP says she is bi, so she likes both men and women.
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Lukas (he/him, it/its) 2 weeks ago
She dodged the bullets- A guy who was completely unsupportive in her mental health and uninterested in their relationship, a guy who sat around doing d***s all day. Oh, wait, are you implying she's mentally ill because she's bi? That having mental health issues means you aren't worthy of love or care? F**k off.
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#56
Not me but my cousin. Found out his fiance had been planning a totally different life with someone else. Deposits lost, but dodged a bigger bullet.
Lila Allen 2 weeks ago
What is up with these people who keep up these double lives? How do they have the time and energy for this? I can barely manage one life/family.
#57
I found out my fiancée was an armband wearing, meeting organizing not see. For about two weeks before the wedding I stopped eating almost completely from the stress knowing half of our small town had been meeting in our living room and worried my family and I might be attacked if I left. It turned out to be easy. The day before the wedding I just said “ I don’t wanna get married!” And he looked over and shrugged and went “okay fine” and went back to playing video games. When I called my mom she was so relieved she called the whole guest list and my maid of honor told me she won money in a bet that I would be brave enough to say anything. I moved out of state almost immediately and I think he eventually skunked off somewhere off grid. I still get panic attacks when I see people from the meeting I interrupted. Side note: am German-American Jewish (non practicing) and have a lot of family lost in camps. Am autistic and did not understand some of the “jokes” he made and just feel SO DUMB. SO SO DUMB. I was just happy to have someone to speak German with.
Michael Largey 2 weeks ago
"Not see" not only gets around BP censorship but is also highly descriptive.
Jo Firth 2 weeks ago
Thank you for explaining that - I was a little lost there for a moment.
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HangryHangryHippo 2 weeks ago
A bit confusing because it should say "my fiance", but my understanding is that she was Jewish, he was a n-a-z-i
Load More Replies... #58
My cousin cancelled a few weeks prior because COVID was HUGE in her area at the time. We had already booked flights, hotel, took days off work, and had plans for exploring the city. I wasn't mad though - a lot of elderly people were going to attend, and she didn't want them getting sick and possibly dying. I completely understood why they made that call. My mom, however, was LIVID. When they rescheduled, they were already legally married, but still wanted to have the whole ceremony and reception, but we didn't go, because my mom had to make a huge stink: "Oh, are you going to wait until I get it all planned out, then cancel last minute again?" I understand the frustration of being out of that money, but I was majorly helping my mom out financially and wasn't upset about losing any money. I told her I would pay for whatever she needed while missing work (I was to begin with, anyway), but I was so embarrassed about my mom's passive aggression and messaged my aunt and cousin to please not take it personally, but I didn't want any of that to make them uncomfortable on their special day. That's not even part of the reasons why I went NC with my mom 😅 raging narcissist and I was over it after 20 something years.
#59
2 months before the wedding, a day after we mailed the invitations, my boss told me he needed me to go work in another country for 3 months. At least he paid for my fiancé to go with me.
Lila Allen 2 weeks ago
Unless you're getting paid a ton or that promotion is life changing....tell your boss to stick it and get married
#60
Not me but a friend. Wedding was in Sydney. Lots of friends and family from interstate including me, his family from England. Got a call morning of the wedding from the bride. He says he can’t go through with it but she’s hoping his family will talk him into it as it’s just nerves. Nope. Wedding was called off. We spent the day with the bride. She was a mess. It was so sad to see her beautiful wedding dress and shoes ready to go but not worn. He did the right thing..just should have made the decision to call it off earlier or even better, NOT ASKED HER TO MARRY HIM.
Michael Largey 2 weeks ago
I was 100% sure when we got married. I still am. But exactly what I'm 100% sure of can change from day to day.
Load More Replies... #61
A wedding i was attending. Literally warming up the car and got the call not to come.
This was at the start of covid. They had to get covid tested for something and turns out they tested positive and had to cancel the wedding. They got married later on and are still married.
#62
Covid! We got married on zoom instead lol. The wedding was cancelled (postponed actually) but the marriage wasn’t 🥰 getting married in quarantine was actually fun, we look back on it fondly now. We weren’t sick, but my family was, so we had been exposed.
ADHD 2 weeks ago
did you see the episode of MASH when Klinger got married via radio. granted its fiction but this stuff happened
Load More Replies... #63
Ive posted this before but its a fun story so i’ll share again. A friend of mine was with her boyfriend for about 10 years before they had their wedding. Come wedding day, she’s having major second thoughts. Crying while she’s getting ready. Everyone told her it was just nerves on the big day. The wedding is held, documents are signed, everything seemed fine.
The next week goes by and she explains to me she doesn’t want to he with him anymore. And within a month he was moved out. They figured while they signed the documents, they were never sent to the courthouse so no harm done, they never actually got married, or so the thought.
Come a couple years later and she gets a text from her ex-fiancée explaining that he is trying to get married to someone else now but can’t because turns our they ARE legally married. I guess someone (the officiant maybe?) sent in the paperwork for them.
For whatever reason it took them quite a while, (like another 2 years) for them to actually divorce, which I like to make fun of her for because she was actually with someone else too, except she was pregnant now. So she got knocked up by someone who wasn’t her husband. Its all settled now.
#64
Not what you're intending but I'll share my story: we were supposed to get married March 21, 2020, but COVID happened. We cancelled the wedding six days before it was supposed to take place and, since we didn't know anything, rescheduled for September 2020.
That was still COVID craziness so we got married in September with just our parents and sisters present and then had a vow renewal on our one year anniversary that looked and felt like it was an actual wedding since we had already paid all of our vendors and they wouldn't refund us but allowed us to reschedule.
#65
Not me, but a good friend. She just realized that she didn't want to marry him. Nothing major happened, but a lot of little things made her realize that she felt lonely in her relationship and that feeling had gotten worse, not better, as they approached the wedding. Honestly, I think that leaving was amazingly brave of her.
#66
We decided we wanted a house instead. Living on Long Island even as a dual income engineer couple we just couldn't have our cake and eat it to. No familial support on either side tho they would if they could, everyone's just broke. So we ate the 12k we put down on the venue and everything and just told everyone we're not going to do it. Went to the town hall, got married under a Gazibo, took a family vacation to New Orleans then we bought our house like 2 years later.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 weeks ago
Jeez, how much was the wedding going to cost in total if they'd already put 12k deposit down?!
Heather Mack-Scott 2 weeks ago
oh I can just guess as I had a friend that lived on Long Island and her small wedding was over 40k.
Load More Replies... #67
I cancelled my wedding last minute when I realized we weren't on the same page about living arrangements-best advice is to be blunt with vendors and lean on one or two close friends for support.
Michael Largey 2 weeks ago
Not on the same page about living arrangements is curiously unspecific, as is any tie it has to vendors.
#68
It wasn't last minute, but my ex wanted to postpone our wedding day for someone else's birthday. Our planned wedding day came and went, and we just never got the momentum back. We broke up by the end of that year.
Michael Largey 2 weeks ago
If the birthday had really been that important, ex would have already ruled it out when they were planning the wedding date.
#69
Father passed away so we asked to post pone it. They gave us a short window to try and do it and we just couldn’t swing it. They ended up taking the deposit.
Lila Allen 2 weeks ago
I have to say that based on all these posts I'm estimating that not refunding deposits is like half the revenue of these businesses
RiceRiceBaby 929 2 weeks ago
As often as people cancel. These companies would still like to be paid for having their time wasted
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 2 weeks ago
Special event insurance covers all sorts of occasions, including weddings.
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Apatheist Account2 2 weeks ago
The funny thing about these spam posts is that, if one tries to go on to the website, it's blocked as a "financial scam" by Norton (and probably others). Even if one were gullible enough to believe the nonsense, one couldn't actually take up their offer, so it's not only annoying, it's entirely pointless.
Apatheist Account2 2 weeks ago
The funny thing about these spam posts is that, if one tries to go on to the website, it's blocked as a "financial scam" by Norton (and probably others). Even if one were gullible enough to believe the nonsense, one couldn't actually take up their offer, so it's not only annoying, it's entirely pointless.
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