“That’s It, I’m Wedding Shaming”: 40 Times People Just Had To Shame These Weddings Online (New Posts)
There’s one kind of event where everything is at stake. All the money, all the effort, all the planning, all the dreams, and yep, we’re talking weddings.
And when pressure to have the perfect day reaches the boiling point, it basically becomes a real-life reality show with drama, unstaged emotions, toxic family members, entitled guests, bridezillas, and lost grooms.
The content weddings provide us is so immense that wedding shaming groups have been popping up one by one on social media lately. This corner of Reddit known as the Wedding Shaming subreddit is also a destination to shame anything from wedding themes, vendors, brides and grooms, in-laws, and Uncle Bobs, and boy, it’s been buzzing.
Below we collected some of the new posts shared on the community, so scroll down below for some crazy nuptial drama. More wedding shaming content can be found in our previous posts here and here.
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Wedding Shaming, The Dear Prudence Edition
Check Out This Horror Of A "Mother"
It Truly Is Funny How Being A Part Of Someone's Bridesmaids Or Being The Maid Of Honor Is No Longer Chosen By How Close You Are To The Bride But By How Well You Fit Her Aesthetic
Once got told to ‘make an effort to not take the attention away from the bride’ by a then friend who was getting married. She meant ‘lose weight and don’t use walking aids’. Didn’t attend and haven’t spoken to her in over 22 years.
No wedding has gone without at least a tiny drop of drama. This is because people put the pressure on themselves a little too much, until for many brides and grooms, it becomes unbearable.
To find out more about navigating your perfect day in a way that doesn’t cost all your nerves, Bored Panda previously spoke with Jen Glantz, the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire and The Newlywed Card Game, a 3x best-selling author, a voice of You’re Not Getting Any Younger podcast, and the brains behind Jen & Juice coaching, digital courses, & the Pick-Me-Up newsletter.
You Want My To Cut My Hair. You Can’t Fire Me, I Quit
Bridesmaid/Sil From Hell From Dear Prudence
that's not a joke! that's just cruel! wtf is wrong with people?? EDIT: the stroy goes on (about 4 more pics); OP's whole family will be absent from the wedding. the sister is just "a child" and the sister dubbled down with "it's not like it was the actual skeleton of the dead sister"
Asking The Girl Your Fiancé Groomed To Be Your Photographer For Free
It turns out that conflict and drama starts as early as the bridal party. “That's because weddings are filled with decisions, pop-up challenges, and a lot of emotions. When you bring your friends and family into that equation and ask them to stand by your side, while also giving them a to-do list of things you expect them to do during your wedding adventure, it can bring a level of intensity that didn't exist before the wedding within that relationship,” Glentz explained.
Too Bad, So Sad Wedding Photo Edition
Sure, for $3,200. She can even wear her wedding dress if she wants to.
Poor Photographer.. That Said I'd Be Interested To See The Pictures That They Had To Capture While This All Went Down
Mother Of Groom Insists On Being In Son’s Wedding Portrait With Bust Of Deceased Husband
A lot of conflicts, however, could be avoided with better communication and slightly lower expectations, Glantz argues. “So much can be avoided if the person getting married clearly states what they want from their bridal party and the people in the bridal party openly share what they are able and willing to do before the wedding process even starts,” she told us in a previous interview.
I Paid $600 And Gave Her Six Months For My Wedding Dress Hem To Look Like This
Host A Photography Competition Instead Of Paying For A Photographer!
With Friends Like These Who Needs Enemies
But no matter how much drama weddings may have, you may wonder if it’s still okay to shame these events and the people behind them. After all, are wedding shaming groups considered to have some form of hate that may be harmful to their targets?
Well, we previously asked that question to Darlene Lancer, who is a therapist, relationship & NPD expert, and the author of "Codependency for Dummies." Lancer explained that according to the FBI, “hate groups” direct their hatred against a particular race, religion, gender, ethnic group or people of a particular sexual orientation. They investigate these hate groups to protect democracy and individual liberty. “So defined, wedding haters and shamers are not members of a ‘hate group,’” she said.
Say Yes To The Dress Bride Wanted An “Avatar Unicorn.” My Friend Had Thoughts
Mother In Law And Sister In Law Wore White
Mil Really Wanted To Be Bride. I'm Now Divorced From Her Son, Who She Posed With In The 2nd Picture
Having said that, Lancer explained that blaming and shaming often is done by people with low self-esteem and who carry shame themselves. “They shame others to project and rid themselves of the shame they have inside, which is often hidden and unconscious. Projection is a defense that works for them. It may be fueled by anger and envy because of the widening discrepancy between classes of haves and have-nots. Aggression and envy are also defenses to shame.”
From My Cousins (The Grooms) Wedding, Of Which I Wasn’t Invited
Guy Asks Fiance If He Can Invite His Friends On Their Honeymoon
Spare A Thought For This Poor Girl Who Has Been Dealt The Injustice Of Being Gifted A Mere $32,000 For Her Wedding
Since she is an adult, she can pay for her wedding herself. If she can't afford it, it's her problem, not her future in-laws. A wedding can always be modest.
“Ironically, public displays of extravagant and ostentatious weddings may also be fueled by shame where the emphasis is on impressing other people of the family’s wealth and status,” a therapist said. This is to compensate for not feeling adequate or sufficiently respected, she concluded.
Please Be Considerate About Peoples Choices At Your Wedding
Guests Called The Police To The Reception Because They’d Been Unknowingly Drugged By The Bride!
Guest Demands To Bring Their Son (18) Daughter (23), 3 Grandchildren, And A Dog To The Wedding
Guest demands to bring their son (18) daughter (23), 3 grandchildren, and a dog to the wedding. Bride puts her foot down and guest ominously ends the friendship with ellipsis
I had a no kids wedding. Some people just sent their regrets - still okay with them. Some sent me long diatribes about how weddings are ‘about babies’ and how evil we’re being - don’t speak to them anymore. No loss.
Received This Abomination Of A Save The Date… Whole Card Was Filled With It
To not produce waste we send you a letter full of waste. And the letter will be waste too
Just Got This In My Email After Receiving The Invite 2 Days Ago
What In The Hell. What A Nightmare!
They're lucky she didn't have a weapon and found was àble to find alcohol. That was atrocious!
A "Friend" Took Our Wedding Photos As A Gift To Us And Then Ghosted Us. It's Been 6 Months
From A Wedding Group I'm In. People In The Comments Were Ragging On The Step Mum's Choice Of Shoes
Bride Doesn’t Want Her Great Aunt’s Nurse To Attend The Wedding
Wow 🤦🏻♀️ How heartless do you have to be to discriminate against a guest, your own family member whom you presumably WANT to bear witness to your wedding, for having a disability that requires a nurse?! The nurse would literally be working during the entire event, watching over the aunt. What does she think she's gonna do?!
A Former Coworker Of Mine. She Was Always Extra At Work. It's No Surprise She Posted This Before Her Wedding. I'm Glad I Wasn't Invited
I don't agree with her tone, choice of words or method of delivery but I do understand the sentiment - people, as guests, can be just as rude as bridezillas these days.
yeah her delivery was over the top but she's right tho and, having worked with trying to get The Public to understand and pay attention to rules and follow them... I understand why she went full ham with this. People don't $%&*ing listen.
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Tear the invitation into teeny tiny pieces and send it back as extra confetti. It might help with the budget. Really, you'd be doing her a favour.
I see someone downvoted me for my comment. Well, I stand by it. The entire tone of this communication is hectoring and disrespectful to the recipients. There are better ways to communicate your wishes and expectations. Don't get stroppy with people before the problem has even arisen.
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Ok but honestly what bothered me most is the, “I’m that kind of Christian!” What on earth does that have to do with being strict about RSVPs? What does Jesus flipping tables have to do with your invitations?
She tried to excuse the fact that she was rude by using righteous anger as an example. Jesus's was righteous. Hers was not.
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My dad told me ever since I was little the story of his wedding. And he told me he didn't have much money but offered to pay his closest relatives costs (costumes and whatever else they may needed) only so that they would come. He told everyone he doesn't want a wedding gift. I guess this really tells the difference between people. Sure she was direct in everything, i get why she'd say all that but the last part made me change my entire perspective on her. You do not demand people for gifts making the excuse that it's a wedding and it's expensive for you so you expect gifts in return. I'm so grateful my dad taught me this valuable lesson.
Your dad sounds like a wonderful man who brought you up with the right values!
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It's her wedding day. I can absolutely understand everything she said here. It's extremely common that people who get an invite don't attend or cancel it in the very last minute when everything has already been paid for. If she doesn't want kids at her wedding then don't attend if you can't leave your kid somewhere else. it's super simple.
Besides the condescending tone, I see nothing wrong with this.
Right?! I’ve attended weddings where my family has just gone to the church, not the reception - it’s about seeing them get married, not about a party afterwards. No-one ever complained about our daughter being at the church, and she sure would have been bored at a reception.
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First paragraph ok. Rest didn't need to be said. If you don't want kids or gatecrashers, employ security. Last paragraph - if I was her best friend or closest brother I would still decline to go to the wedding when I read the last paragraph. WEDDINGS ARE NOT AN INVESTMENT WHERE YOU SPEND MONEY TO GET A BIGGER RETURN IN GIFTS - they are supposed to be a gathering of friends and family that you want to share your celebration with, regardless of whether they can afford to buy an expensive gift or not.
I was pretty much OK with this up until the very end. Her delivery could have been a bit better executed, but I don’t know her family or friends. Maybe this was appropriate for them? But “Don’t show up with a toaster.” Really?
One of my biggest pet peeves is when people preach "Don't be rude" and then act rudely towards others like they're above their own rules.
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Same. Tho, I would consider attending divorce proceedings for the fun of it. 🤣👏🏻
Load More Replies... Pretty much all she said is spot on. The problem being, there’s no tact & there’s really no reason to communicate all of the obvious. If people violate expectation and decency in any circumstance, you deal with it accordingly. With a wedding, you simply have an usher or event planner ask them to leave. Rather deal with the violators quietly this way than evoke a sentiment of distrust and disrespect to all your guests preemptively. Also, I’m pretty sure we all know if we don’t get an invite to a wedding it is personal, just that we’re less valuable to the wedding party than, say, their best friend or close family. We’re grown up and should be ok with that. Chastising people who don’t care about your special day is kinda invasive and a little too much. I get that it’s your wedding and you have authority over it. Well, it’s also my Saturday and I have authority over that. And if you keep company with people who don’t understand basic social tenets, like not crashing a wedding, yuk!!!
I understand what's she's trying to say, but there are ways of saying things that don't come across rude and entitled. The whole Christian thing is despicable though... people who use religion like that make me sick! I was also taught that a gift is something you shouldn't expect, and you have no right up stipulate the value of the gift; doing so is charging a fee to cover your expenses and you shouldn't be calling that a gift!
I was appalled by this. Yes,it is inconsiderate to not show up, bring kids when not invited, etc., but the hostile tone is ridiculous. Makes the event seem terrible before it even starts.
Between the bride’s rant and some of the comments, I’m happy I’m a loner and decline ALL invitations. People suck!
She's right but I think she couldve said it in a way that made it less annoying to read. Except for the fact that the guests apparently have to show up with money? Like, YOU invited people. YOU pay. Just like of someone invites you out to eat, they are the ones who pay. Its the same for this. YOU decided to have an expensive wedding, so that's on you. I understand wanting to enforce the other rules though, some people don't listen and might just show up with kids even though she said to not do that. And I totally agree with the cancellation thing, make sure you can show up cuz they're paying a lot of money for your spot.
Why do people believe that “gift must equal the cost of your plate” sh*t? Where do they think it comes from? If they want to claim “tradition”, the reception was paid for by the bride’s father, not the bride. She’s not out of pocket anything, at all. So, it’s not that. Etiquette? Etiquette says you only invite people to parties for the pleasure of their company, not for what they will give you. So, no. Times have changed & now it’s common for couples to pay for their own weddings? Still, no. It’s still your party, the people invited should still be invited for the pleasure of their company, and you should never give a party you can’t afford.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha HOPE NOBODY SHOWS FOR THIS WEDDING
I wish I had the balls to say all this. People will happily barge through a boundary they have no right even testing. Their wedding. Their money. They can invite who the hell they like. Or don't as long as they are happy with the social consequences. I have nothing but admiration.
Yes. AND. She should have ended the note after the first paragraph. Because that’s just an awful example of humanity.
Load More Replies... 'Invite' is a verb. 'Invitation' is a noun. 'I will invite you' or 'I will send you an invitation'. Was that so hard? Am I wasting my breath? Probably.
It is never ok to demand a gift, let alone a gift of a certain value, regardless of how much one spends on her wedding. NEVER 👏 OK 👏
While I don't agree with her tone or way of deliver, I was on her side UNTIL she said that shut about the gifts. You know what a GIFT is, yes? They shouldn't be forced to Pay to attend HER wedding, a gift is a kind gesture, not a payment.
I don't know... I might go just for the opportunity to not bring a gift (but definitely a card to make sure she notices the "missing" gift)!
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I agree with RSVP and what not. But, heck, she's not someone I 'd want to associate with ... ever!
Why do so many people throw a fit over adult weddings. All the weddings I went to had kids and there were never any problems with the kids or parents. The only problems usually came from the adults who got drunk.
Personally, I totally agree with you. But, to answer your question, I think maybe people 1) don't want potentially unruly children taking attention away from the couple and/or 2) don't want to pay the cost of dinner for a child who probably won't eat it (though catering typically offers kids plates).
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What's with the hand clapping emphasis? Extremely rude. I'd stay home myself. Fluck her!
there are so many things wrong with this!! the overuse of emojis, referencing Jesus (I'm not really religious but I know enough about Christianity to say that what this bride is saying is not okay), the tone, the text-yelling, the threats, the forcing to bring gifts, ugh. HOWEVER, she does bring up a very good point. I've never planned or been to a wedding, but I can understand how it must be super frustrating when people go against your wishes (if they re reasonable). I can understand the thing about little kids, and RSVP, but the way she gave the message was unessicarily harsh.
Bruh. I have a frickin rant so hear me out. SHE LITERALLY JUST CALLED HERSELF A CHRISTIAN AND THEN DID EVERYONE DIRTY! COME ON NOW! IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO RUIN THE REPUTATION OF CHRISTIANITY! IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU POSTING THE "I BET THEY WERE CHRISTIAN SPIEL!" SO, I THINK I CAN SPEAK FOR MOST PEOPLE WHEN I SAY THIS, STOPPPPPP
That's not etiquette, that's an invoice. Please quit misusing God's word to suite you, that's what the enemy does. Jesus tossed tables because they were being demanding exorbitants amounts of money from people go into Gods house. They turned what should have been a blessing into a money grab, hmmm sounds like you...
I get what she's saying but the way she's saying it is not how it should be said.
My only issue with this is that she is demanding presents. Like. If people don't have the money for that, they aren't going to be wanted? That sucks. The rest though is absolutely reasonable. I know my sisters had a b***h of a time trying to make sure that they got responses in enough time to sort out who else to invite in that person's place if it was a no. That being said they did have a day of cancellation which they were very gracious about because the guest was staying home due to being exposed to COVID the day before and knowing that she could be asymptomatic and infectious. My sister lucked out and her high school biology teacher that her and several friends have become actual friends with since becoming adults- was free that evening and could make it to the dinner. The teacher had a great time.
She could've been much more eloquent with her demands and less bitchy.
Everybody knows that that is how the world works. However being told that explicitely seem like kind of an insult, perhaps because it shows that she has little trust in you knowing how to behave.
As over the top as this is, and downright rude, and making me question what kind of person she is, some people have a very hard time listening. especially family members who think they are unlimitedly entitled to your space and entitled to ignore your wishes at your own events. This may have helped some people REALLY get the point. The gift stuff is cringey though.
Except for the gift part, shes not wrong. There is always someone who thinks theyre the exception. At my wedding which was adults only, a friend brought her two kids. This set off another friend, who came running up to me frantically, loudly complaining abt how unfair this was- in essence, tattling, as I was being readied to ascend a sand dune w/ my son & quietly walk down to the ocean where my future husband, the wedding party, & all the normal guests were waiting. It was a quiet beach on a calm, peaceful day. Please do not swawk like a stepped on seagull who cant get a peanut..Epecially while I'm being miked. On the flip side, the kids that were brought were the very reason I excluded kids from the wedding- mom was oblivious to them standing on chairs in restaurants, throwing things, and hitting each other. Had I read this before my wedding day, I should've sent this out to set some "I'm not kidding, you better act right" boundaries for the guestzillas.
I wouldn't have even acknowledge this rude invitation who would honestly want to go to a wedding like this? All I would say is enjoy your day but no thank you and I would live my life.
Peter cut off ears? What the heck kind of moral equivocating is that? Yikes. Don't put this lady anywhere near a salad fork.
#medscoderedforbridezilla #whoaddspetercutoffearshashtag #boycottbridemanifesto. 😳
I had this problem (limited seating in chapel) but invited so many more to the reception. Most people were okay with this.... Until they saw how empty the chapel was. Family that RSVP'd yes didn't show. One aunt and uncle wanted to go to their grandkids soccer games. Another set couldn't make the hour drive due to car issues (thier kid borrowed the car due to thiers being broke down. They told them they had plans, but he didn't care). Some people were really really pissed off and thought I didn't want them there. Lost a couple friends over that.
The first paragraph was fine. The rest however is a rant. Perhaps she has people in her life that she knows tend to flout such criteria so she had to spell it out for them? But the last paragraph is a bit tacky. You invite people you want to celebrate with, they are your guests, everyone is in a different financial situation they contribute what they can contribute, that isn't for anyone else to decide, additionally you are not a business, you aren't trying to turn a profit or get to make your money back, again they are guests not customers, not patrons, not an audience.
If she has problems with certain people in her life, she should speak to them privately rather than disrespecting every person she invited. And you're right — nobody is ever entitled to demand a gift, especially not when a minimum dollar amount is required. It's a gift, not an entrance fee or repayment for the cost of dinner.
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A gift is a gift. You don't dictate what someone can afford to give you. Just because you are fortunate enough to provide a nice meal and a big wedding doesn't mean others are in the same position. Set up a registry if it's important to you to get specific things, and be grateful for your friends and family being there to celebrate with you. Now as for not showing up, I agree. I think the way she said it could be a bit more... mellow. But each plate at a wedding is an amount due to a caterer and saying you'll be there and not showing up is incredibly rude, unless it's an emergency. She comes off a little entitled because of the way she wrote this but I agree with that part of it.
This sounds to me as though it's a) targeting her family specifically who are b) pushy and demanding. I've heard way too many horror stories about family who showed up with multiple small children and no, family who showed up for free food and booze without giving a rat's rear end about the bride or groom, and family who say they'll definitely attend but then disappear off the face of the earth come time. This is loud. This is extra. There's a lot of people who don't listen to polite requests, and if you don't smack them in the face with your boundaries, will trespass all over you.
If that's the case, she should've handled the situation privately with the people she has a problem with & not by treating all guests rudely and condescendingly. Her behavior is simply inexcusable.
Load More Replies... Wow! I bet she got a LOT of, “Sorry, I cannot attend” replies to that one! 😳
That's totally expected after what he wrote, but at least the people who attended agreed with her so she got what she wanted.
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The first part of the announcement seemed a bit much. Like she was in denial. But that second part was just crazy. She really needed someone else to handle the invites for her cause she went Ham before anything even happened. Do not try to show her support by showing up with your Bebe kids and s**t. 😆
The way she puts it out there I read this in my head like a super high maintenance black woman with the hand claps and all. I love how she put it out there and want to be invited. Lol. I'm sure she freaking fun and hilarious when not planning her future. Understand when a bride is planning her wedding, she is also planning and investing time and money into her future and her future family that she chose, she is also growing as fast as possible to become the woman wife and mother she wants to be. And how she manages that wedding proves it to herself. I hope she has that perfect day she's planning.
There was 100% clarity I. The first paragraph. The rest was entitled rudeness.
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Children... they're called children. Or, kids, if you prefer. 🙄
Load More Replies...I ‘Broke Group Rules’ With This Comment To A Bride Who Was About To Disown Her Dad For Not Being Able To Afford To Spend $3k On Chair/Tent Rentals
Seen On Facebook. What Is This Kind Of Trash
Bride Used Fish As Decor And Centerpieces
“Bride” Gets Angry When Fb Group Advises Against Surprise Wedding
Bride-To-Be Asking For Alternatives To The Garter Toss, This Was One Of The Responses
This Is Supposed To Be Cute But It’s Just Weird And Awkward
Didn't Know It Was Possible To Agree And Disagree To Everything In A Single Post. Yes To The Sentiment, Big No To The Execution
What Would Make Someone Ever Want To Take These Photos
From An Fb Group I'm In. Girl, If You Have To Ask, You Probably Already Know The Answer
My Sil Just Asked Me If This Was Okay To Wear To My Wedding
It’s The “You Can Dance For Free!” For Me
Working together? To me it seems photographer would be the only person working there.
My Sil Wore A Black T-Shirt, Khaki Cargo Pants And Yellow Sneakers To Our Semi-Formal Wedding
Note: this post originally had 73 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
I am an Indian.. our wedding have totally different.. I am always getting nervous attack whenever I got invited to my American friends .after reading this I don't want go any weddings here .
These are more like already terrible people who now have the excuse of a wedding to be awful, rather than a reflection of American weddings. Likelihood is if people are nice enough that you are their friend, they probably are not one of these people :)
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Wow. So glad I haven't had to go to a wedding in over 20 years, and I don't anticipate any for at least another five. IF there is one in a few years, it would be held in our minister's home, where we meet for Sabbath services, and only with people well known to all of us, and much loved among us. No drama, no MIL trying to be the center of attention, and nobody upstaging either the bride or the groom. Everyone in my own family that would be married is already so, but even the older of my two nephews, when he chose to get married a dozen years ago, did so quietly, with only his brother and sister present---didn't invite my sis, and she wouldn't have gone, anyhow. No angst, no anger, and no gifts expected, just whoever was there, enjoy yourselves at the restaurant afterward, bride and groom's expense. Can't stand the entitled young people of today and their foolish, selfish, self-centered demands.
I am an Indian.. our wedding have totally different.. I am always getting nervous attack whenever I got invited to my American friends .after reading this I don't want go any weddings here .
These are more like already terrible people who now have the excuse of a wedding to be awful, rather than a reflection of American weddings. Likelihood is if people are nice enough that you are their friend, they probably are not one of these people :)
Load More Replies... Wow. So glad I haven't had to go to a wedding in over 20 years, and I don't anticipate any for at least another five. IF there is one in a few years, it would be held in our minister's home, where we meet for Sabbath services, and only with people well known to all of us, and much loved among us. No drama, no MIL trying to be the center of attention, and nobody upstaging either the bride or the groom. Everyone in my own family that would be married is already so, but even the older of my two nephews, when he chose to get married a dozen years ago, did so quietly, with only his brother and sister present---didn't invite my sis, and she wouldn't have gone, anyhow. No angst, no anger, and no gifts expected, just whoever was there, enjoy yourselves at the restaurant afterward, bride and groom's expense. Can't stand the entitled young people of today and their foolish, selfish, self-centered demands.
