Size 30 Bride Demands To Try On A Size 14 Wedding Dress, Saleswoman Asks If She Was A Jerk To Give Her A Reality Check
Talking about people’s weight is an incredibly sensitive subject. One wrong word—even if you didn’t mean anything ill by it—and you could accidentally insult someone. This is an issue that becomes incredibly delicate for salespeople. Especially those selling wedding dresses to brides. Sometimes, diplomacy simply isn’t enough, no matter how hard you try.
One redditor, who works as a bridal sales associate, turned to the AITA subreddit for advice on whether or not she messed up when dealing with a rude client who wanted to try on a dress that was clearly far too small for her. The client wears size 30 dresses and wanted to put on a size 14 one. The saleswoman tried to be polite in how she handled things, but everything backfired.
Scroll down for the full story, dear Pandas. Once you’ve finished reading everything, drop on by the comment section and tell us who you think was at fault in this particular case. How would you have handled the situation? Let us know! Bored Panda reached out to Anna and Sarah, Team Leaders at The Wedding Society, for their thoughts about picking out wedding dresses. Read on for their advice.
A wedding dress saleswoman landed herself in hot water after accidentally body-shaming her client
Image credits: Jill Wellington (not the actual photo)
Here’s the full story about how a size 30 bride wanted to try on a size 14 dress
Image credits: Hussein Altameemi (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Los Muertos Crew (not the actual photo)
The author of the story clarified a couple of things for the AITA community later on
The fallout from the sales associate’s comment was almost immediate. The client tried to get her in trouble with her manager. Most AITA community members thought that it was the client who was being a jerk, not the saleswoman.
“We hear so often that brides will go into their dress shopping experience thinking that a certain style will be perfect for them and often finding themselves totally surprised that a totally different style is often what actually looks best on them. So our advice is to keep an open mind and trust that the sales associates often have a lot more experience in this field and are trying to guide you towards what they know will look best,” Anna and Sarah, from The Wedding Society, shared with Bored Panda.
“If you are losing hope then take a step back, a deep breath, and a reset. There are literally millions of dresses out there. Decision paralysis is real so let yourself be guided and keep an open mind,” they noted that having some flexibility and trust in professionals can be very helpful.
“The importance of the dress really depends on the person wearing it. It certainly is something you need to be fully aligned with or you’re always going to look at your pictures with a little bit of regret or disappointment,” they shared.
“That said, your own expectations of how you look will always feel more impactful than how you will actually look to your spouse and guests—we promise, they’re looking at you and your beaming smile—not what’s on your body.”
How you phrase things, what tone of voice you use, what your body language is like—these are all incredibly important things for someone working in sales. Whether you’re in retail or a barista or in a high-end boutique, small details can make or break the sale.
At the same time, you can only be held responsible for your own intentions and efforts, not for how someone chooses to react. Specific wording that’s super smooth might work 99 out of 100 times, but there might always be a customer who chooses to get offended by how you phrased your comment. At the end of the day, you can’t control how someone will react; you can only do your best to stay professional and defuse tense situations as best you know.
Alexander Kjerulf, from the Positive Sharing project, previously explained to Bored Panda what employees should do if they encounter a rude customer. Though, really, it’s not a question of ‘if,’ it’s a matter of ‘when’ that will happen. Most people are completely fine, but a tiny minority can ruin your day with how they treat you.
“Keep your cool and remember that whatever abuse they’re giving you is no reflection on you as a person. That customer doesn’t even know you, so there’s no way it could be. But on the other hand, don’t be subservient. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and tell customers that abuse is not tolerated. And if it persists, hand them over to a manager as soon as you can and let them deal with it,” Alexander explained how employees ought to react when under fire from a rude customer who seems to have it out for them.
“You have to remember that in many cases a customer who behaves badly is not necessarily a bad person—it can be a good person having a bad day and that’s why they’re acting out. But the sad truth is that some customers act this way because they’ve learned that it works and will get them discounts or preferential treatment,” he noted that, broadly speaking, there are two categories of rude customers: those who are having an awful day and those who see rudeness as a tool to get what they want.
In his opinion, a better motto than ‘the customer is always right’ would be: ‘Be nice, or at least don’t be a jerk.’
“And this goes for both customers and employees. Whenever I’m a customer anywhere, I always try to be kind and positive to the staff—even when occasionally I have to complain about something. It’s literally the least I can do.”
The vast majority of redditors were sympathetic towards the saleswoman. Here’s how they reacted and the advice they gave
I needed my wedding dress in a plus size so guess what? I went to a plus size wedding specialist. Don't be that idiot who has an out-of-average requirement but expects average stores to cater to you then gets pissy when all they do is their best. It's not always your fault that you're different to average but it certainly isn't theirs either.
I'm right on the verge of plus, size 16-18 depending on store and i definitely check to see whether places carry my size! Is there a special level of stupidity some people hit that gives them an inability to know what will fit them?! A clothing size isn't a judgement, it's a fact. The way the story is told i expected the bride to pull a Chris Farley in a small dress xD
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It's not body shaming someone to tell them that a dress half the size of what they usually wear probably isn't going to fit. It's just being matter of fact. And the salesperson tried to say it gently.
At least she has patience with rude idiots, I don't. You'd think one of the peeps that were with her would speak up and give her a reality check.
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There was no "poor wording" here and any offense was, yet again, conjured within the mind of someone looking to be a victim. You're going to get asked your size when you go into a bridal shop. Period. That you're going into one that doesn't specifically cater to your body type should make it even more obvious this is going to happen. Wedding dresses are stupidly over priced, why would anyone think they're going to be allowed to try on something meant for someone half their size. Well, they probably didn't. What they did want was to create a situation in which they either get to ruin an expensive dress, or they get to be offended by someone pointing out reality because there is nothing the clerk could have said that couldn't be argued as offensive by the standards of today.
She likely wouldn't have gotten it over her thighs, never mind her butt. What a clown! If yer fat, own up to it. And her "micromanager" was a jerk for sticking up for the delusional customer and not her employee! I'd walk out of that joints
Load More Replies... You did nothing wrong. And I say this as a size 26 woman. Dealing with reality is not body shaming.
I know right? I purposely don't go shopping in places where I know I won't find clothes my size. The bride was delusional.
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My mom does alterations and I guarantee you that this isn't about the salesperson being mean or offensive, this is about a customer who didn't do her research. You can check beforehand, you can't break or tear too small dresses. Body shaming had nothing to do with it.
I shame anybody who's a rude idiot, fat or boney.
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Wedding dresses infamously run small, so trying on the correct size was already a long shot. And holding one up to your body is NO way to try it on, you have to try it on your actual body to see how it fits, where the waist is vs your waist (I have a high waist, I KNOW some cuts don’t flatter me), how the bust fits, the sleeves, the skirt, the length, etc. Wedding dresses usually have a lot going on, structurally, so eyeing one does not equal an actual fitting.
Right. I've also heard when wedding dress shopping, it's a no no to do that. Its makes an unrealistic expectation. You fall in love with something that won't fit, or have alternate sizes of the same dress.
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Oof. I was a "bridal consultant" (wedding dress sales assoc) on the weekend shift in college. Wedding dress shopping is such a high stress and emotional experience for brides-to-be even if you're not plus sized. This woman sounds like a rookie who didn't know how to handle the situation. It sounds like the bride tried to show her the size 14 to give her an idea of what she's looking for. In which case, she should have said something like, "That dress is beautiful. I see the style you're looking for is X. Let me try to find something similar that you can try on comfortably." You can almost always order dresses in a larger size, unless they're discontinued or one-of-a-kind.
Been looking around to see if anyone had the basic children's level of common sense to understand that.. Very glad to at least see one person not just desperately trying to defend skillful subtle rudeness. .... As if subtlety makes it okay. I get 'stealth bullied' a LOT myself so I am really annoyed reading this all. Why would she not be allowed to just look how a certain pattern looks held up against her?? I hope that salesperson switches careers. As if the size of a piece of clothing stops your from understanding what that pattern looks like, etc..... Smh. I can hold CHILD clothing up against my body and tell if I like it and I just want a bigger one! There's no reason to be rude as all get out because your customer is chubby.. really disgusting how some people show their true colors.
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I'm not saying a size 30 woman is definitely justified with thinking they can fit into a size 14 but women's fashion needs to get away from their weird numbering system since it is meaningless. I guarantee every size 14 in that shop was actually a different size since each manufacturer can change what the number means, even between items. Is a size 14 dress built for a woman with a 42 inch bust and 32 inch hips or a 32 inch bust and 42 inch hips? Is the hemline for someone 4'11" or 6'2"?
As a woman, I wish our pants were sized the way men's pants are
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Body shaming is being an a*****e about someone's weight. Period. Calling someone fat, or words similar is rude. Asking someone their size in a setting where it's appropriate... NOT BODY SHAMING! It's not like you don't know your size & what fits. Doesn't matter if your a size 90000 or a -80 lol. You. Know. Your. Size. You know what fits. Don't play dumb & don't be a d**k & try to get someone fired just because you are upset. I understand wedding dress shopping is hella stressful... again doesn't matter what size you are. It's a nightmare. I imagine it being even harder for curvy & plus sized women.. as not everywhere is inclusive. But that's not the sales associates fault. If you have a problem with the inclusivity... take it up with the damn company.
Idk. Because I agree that the bridal consultant was a bit rude but then again the bride brought up the fact she was a size 30 and the consultant told her the truth...this was not a plus size friendly bridal shop so there were only 3 dresses in stock in size 30. Could the bridal consultant handled it better? Absolutely. Was it all one sided? Nope. And let's not forget...the customer ended up buying a dress so maybe it was just a miscommunication about sizing or a personality conflict.
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Definitely NTA but as a big girl, I can tell you your plus sized customer probably has all kinds of triggers and issues just walking into a dress shop, let alone (gulp) trying something on. Trying something on, especially with thin pretty ladies around, is an utter nightmare. Thank you for trying to be kind to her. If it was me I'd want to look at a few "in my dreams I could wear this" dresses. And then I would sigh and get something that fit. It is wonderful that your shop can even GET a 30.
There's nothing kind about telling the customer that they don't want to be squeezing her into the dress. It was rude whether the person as a size 30 or a size 8.
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This customer knew that the dress would not fit her. But she challenged the salesperson anyway. Did she expect that she should be allowed to try anyway knowing that the likely outcome would be ripping the dress? The salesperson was pointing out the obvious. If she did not want to have it pointed out to her that some sizes are too small than she should not have insisted upon trying on a dress half her size.
Hit that nail right on the head! So sick of people ( all sexes, sizes, etc) who strut in with an “im so special” attitude & cause trouble. Freakin’ grow up people!!
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NTA. Did anyone else think 🤔...if she bought a dress once she complained to the manager and probably got a discount...she very likely wasn't actually a size 30 in the first place and this was a set up from the start. I say this because I'm a plus size woman who wears an 20-22 and I know better than to even look at the size 14 dress section because I'm just gonna be disappointed or inadvertently or sometimes out right rudely fat shamed for not staying in my "plus size" lane. Also did anyone else notice the customer brought up she was a size 30 and then "hated" the 3 dresses in her "correct" size, so she just "magically" gravitated to the size 14 section...(things that make you go 🤔)
As a plus size woman myself...I get it. It sucks to go into a average size retail store and be told ... We have one dress in your size so maybe you should just shop our online selection 🤬 But with that said I KNOW to expect that reaction so I don't bother wasting my time or theirs to be fat shamed. But I'm kinda wondering if this "Karen" didn't set you up. Because she brought up the size 30 first and should have reasonably know your store didn't stock many options that size. Also it's telling she deliberately and knowingly picked out a size 14 dress then again baited you into telling her no it won't fit you. Again, when you're a size 30 for real for real, you damn well know your happy "self" isn't gonna fit in a size 14 and you've got no business even looking in that size section let alone asking some thin/average size sales person to let you try it on... So no, NTA. More sometimes customers and especially "Karen's" just suck to deal with but such is the joy of working retail
I agree, I think it was a ploy to get a discount. Odds are when faced with a completely undoable circumstance people will falter in how to handle it. The customer intentionally set-up the OP. Yes the salesperson shouldn't have used the words "squeeze into", but she was set-up by the customer.
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I wasn’t one of the girls who grew up drooling over Brides Magazine. In fact, when I was a girl, I liked the idea of eloping because of the privacy (reinforced later when I worked night audit in a hotel with a bridal venue, and saw too many couples bothered by drunk “friends” all night). My husband and I got married at the courthouse with just a few close friends in attendance. I wore a nice white dress, my husband wore a suit, and we stayed at a friend’s beach house for our honeymoon, which was their wedding gift to us. For us, that was simple, low key, stress-free, and perfect. However, I have been bridal gown shopping with friends, so know it can be a very demoralizing experience. The way bridal gowns are sized are brutal. The woman in this story may have been a size 20 anywhere else, but a 30 in the bridal store. Believe me, those f*****g numbers have an effect, and not always a good one. I remember a size 4 friend of mine ended up in something like a size 12 or 14 wedding gown, that had the same measurements as a comparable size 4 formal gown in any other store. That’s just cruel, especially considering how much we invest in finding our dream wedding gown.
Wedding dresses are correctly sized because at most shops you have to wait months to get the dress made for you. Off the rack clothing is vanity sizing. I say this because off the rack I wear a 6. If I buy a pattern based on measurements I am a 12.
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If dress was several sizes smaller, she must see it's not gonna fit. She should try to find something similar in bigger sizes. Even if she managed to get into dress, it wouldn't look good.
People generally know their size. Not sure why this bride was being so extra but OP shouldn’t have gotten in trouble for that.
Who the F thinks...oh hey, size 14 dress to try on my size 30 body?? This defies logic, common sense.
NTA OP. I think you should have told the manager what happened before the bride did. NO DOUBT the bride would have, at the very least, ripped the dress. Then you'd have been in a worse off situation with your manager. Ask manager how the store would like you to handle a bride like this, since they don't want you to hold it up to them.
NTA! First of all, you simply recommended that she doesn’t put on a dress that is likely too small. Second, that girl was being super rude to you but acted all nice when the manager was there and lied to them that you shamed her. That is manipulative! Lastly, she would’ve been more embarrassed if you let her try it and the dress ripped at the seams. Seriously NTA, but that girl is.
If she lacks the self-awareness to know she could blow out a seam trying on a sample dress, which I'm guessing are expensive to make, then she deserves to hear the truth. Some people don't take a hint.
I would have, as I said to hell with this, and walked out that door.
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I think the client did it on purpose, full well knowing she would "get insulted" and that's why she changed her tone when served by the mgr. She knew very well that you didn't have the authority to give a discount, but the mgr would, in return for the drama mama. She played you, AND played the mgr.
Size 30 Bride was not shamed putting on a dress 16 sizes smaller than her true size 8s crazy. She should have lost the weight during the engagement . If I was the owner of the Shop I'd have a Policy to address the issue.
I really don't think the OP did anything wrong. I'm baffled by the woman wanting to try on a size 14 dress when she knows she's a 30. Maybe there are a few things OP could have said a little more nicely, but she's NTA here.
i’m BIG and i would never be so ridiculous to attempt to try on a dress that small no matter how frustrated i may be with dress shopping and maybe even with fps (fat people syndrome) as i like to call it, but I don’t take get upset at one person for other peoples rude behaviour and sink to the same level OR walk around with a chip on my should because i’m obese and struggling to find a dress.
Some years ago, a customer was trying on prom dresses. She could not get out of it so she asked for help. Neither my manager or I could get the zipper to budge. So manager had to cut the dress off of her.
The reason an a*s is because she has gone to other shops and they didn’t have her size in what she has seen and wants. This personknows that her size is a problem and has taken it out on every salesperson she has come across.
The last reddit comment by tnscatterbrain *name is accurate* decided ESH and accuses OP of laughing at the customer. I so wish people would read the story. Nowhere does it say OP was laughing at her when she told her about not wanting to squeeze into the dress. Sry to put it here, couldn't address it on reddit.
I completely agree with your comment. I seen that and thought "Which story did they read? Because it surely was NOT this one!" You've got people that don't read the whole story, and people who can't read context. This was definitely a did not read it all situation.
Load More Replies... Attitude can say a lot more than words sometimes and often we're unaware of the tones we add in. If the words were said with the wrong intonation, they'd come across as the stereotypical snotty salesperson who thinks you're too poor for the thing (Pretty Woman style). The way this was worded, that could easily have happened here.
You could be correct, but for an individual to chose an option which will so obviously not work indicates a set-up or ploy for some other agenda. I suspect the customer was looking for a discount or compensation for poor service.
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Watched my sister do something similar in a bridal store but she threw a full blown tantrum. When her fiancee saw how horribly she acted he dumped her.
I so miss the days when fat was fat, skinny was skinny, dumb was dumb, ugly was ugly....how have we got to such nonsense?
She's not necessarily the a*****e, but this website is for using a photo of a plus size bride as an "example of a fat person in a wedding dress". Super unnecessary.
She knows she's not skinny. She should not have asked to try on the 14. She could have ruined the dress splitting the same gent even tearing the material by forcing it.
Definitely NTA. Brides are stressful and difficult anyway, and trying on a dress 8 sizes too small isn't going to make the bride feel great and I guess if she damaged the dress she'd have to pay for it. Maybe you should have just let her do it. I've worked in retail and I would have done exactly what you did. Don't let this bride terrorize you! You were doing your job
Please remove this person from your mind. It's not your fault the customer has weighty issues. And, she wanted to take it out on you.
The Bride should dress to body type and use common sense. I don't like body shaming it's harmful to girls it gives you low self esteem and confidence.
Perceived insults had nothing to do with the customer's attitude. Assuming the story is told in the correct order, the customer was rude and arrogant long before the issue with the size 14 dress came up. She wanted to feel special and she only got that when she had a manager's attention. Any "underling" would have had the same experience.
NTA the bridezilla can't understand she's too big for the dress n she set herself up for that one assuming she can squeeze into it. Not so much. I have a sister who's heavy set as well n she rather go slightly bigger than her size so she can fit n move arnd but I guess she thought she would make magic n go 16 sizes smaller. Sry not happening. The sales lady was very sweet compared to things n stories I've heard that ppl simply said no ya too fat n no this wasn't the case she tried her best n bridezilla is just rude n others had to help her n finally got one. I can just see how the wedding will go the way she's being. Ya did ya best n no way should ya be in trouble she's just a rotten b***h who can't get her way or magically become who she isnt.
I'd rather have her than one of the sales people i dealt with before prom. When I was in highschool getting ready for prom i was in-between plus size and the larger side of regular. I was trying on anything from a 12(it was a little snug by my grandma would make alterations and an 18 (a little loose but again, grandma would make alterations.) I went to a place near me where there was a little platform in the middle of the room with mirrors surrounding half of it so you'd put on the dress and go out on the platform and look in the mirror and all the shoppers could see you. My "personal sales representative" picked out a size 8 dress and dragged me out on the platform and was poking and pushing my chub into the dress to get it to close saying "it's okay you'r a big girl we can get it to fit." I burst out crying and left. (Went to another store and found a wonderful dress and the sales associate was so nice and after my mom told me what happened she let me use the private rooms upstairs.)
As a large bodied person near that size, the fear of just going in to try dresses when you already know the selection will be bad and you know that your body is not going to look the way you truly want in a wedding dress, they truly arent designed for large bodies, then yeah of course the bride was going to be on edge. I dont think the sales person was rude or wrong but also has no clue what its like to be in their shoes and how awful so many clothing experiences are.
As a large bodied person would you choose an option you know is 8 sizes smaller in the first place? Yes it is difficult when you try on items in a range and they don't fit, I have definitely been in this frustrating situation but I never purposefully choose items no where near my size. I think the customer intentionally created a conflict so as to garner special treatment, ie manager attention, possible discount.
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She was being the perfect bridezilla. She planned on going in for the kill before she even stepped into your shop. When you are a big girl and you know you can't fit into anything but a size 30, she just was pissed because she knew a size 14 wouldn't work no matter what. Instead of wasting her time and your time she should have gone to a big girl's shop in the first place. You are not the AH, she is.
Going to a plus size store would have been the best option for the bride. It was her frustration talking when you feel the world is made for tiny people and you’re not included.
NTA, she'd have possibly tore and damaged that dress if she'd had tried so desperately to squeeze into it. You saved her from having to pay for damages. I'm petty so after her being so rude I'd probably have smiled all sweetly and said "sure" then presented her with the bill after she damaged it. You didn't body shame her, simply gave her a dose of much needed reality. That dress is literally more than half her size, there is no way it would ever fit unless she spent a long, long time on the treadmill (which tbh, might be beneficial at a size 30, that's got to be morbidly obese, surely? not fat shaming, I'm a bit chunky myself but that size sounds worrying o.o)
Sounds like she knew it wouldn't fit and not in a great mood to start with about dress shopping at her size. Not having an idea of what would fit or flatter or even a photo from her is tough too. Plus she was put in the spotlight w family and friends there too could hav e pressured her more. And she might have been told to calm the f down when you went to get the manager. Reality is that stores don't carry plus dresses. They carry trendy sizes. There should be a plus size retailer with prom and bridesmaids dresses that can be sized down for smaller ladies in the wedding parties. Maybe I just created the best idea.
She was the a*****e sorry. Shopping for a wedding dress (or any dress) when you are plus-sized is stressful and humiliating as you are made to feel like you don't belong in clothes shops. The assistant was hostile from the get go. Telling her they only had 3 dresses in her size in front of everyone, like she was asking for something ridiculous. I wonder what her face was doing at the time. I am the same size as her and I can tell you people have a look of disgust on their faces without even realising it. She picked up the 14 in a protest I assure you. This woman ruined what should have been a good experience and you know what, ALL the dresses should come in a size 30. We are people too. Just for the record I am not a victim, I have an eating disorder. No one wants to be fat, it is sometimes out of our control.
Seriously? "Listen up, fat a*s - a size 14 won't fit one of your thighs" would have been offensive, trying to assist her in finding a dress that actually fit was not. NTA
I think stating facts would have been better. By "trying to be nice" and saying we don't want you "squeezing" into the dress it was offensive. I would have said "This dress is a size 14, and your regular size is a size 30. Unfortunately, the smallest dress you would be able to comfortably try on is a size 26/28, which I would be happy to pull for you."
The consultant's attitude was off from start to finish. First, she was asking for pictures (of dresses the bride didn't like enough to buy! And most shops don't allow photos!) and sizes and all that, which can come across like she didn't want to give the full service experience, she just wanted the shortcut to the end. Then she never asked what the bride was looking for. She jumped straight to "we've got three that'll fit" No "do you like beading? Lace? A line or a ball gown?" Which would have enabled her to say "I think you'd love this one, (shows her one she can get into and uses clips and etc. while leaving the back open to show what it would look like in the correct size) Next, wedding dresses have their own sizing. It is a completely different to regular clothes. People either don't know their size, or lie about it. She should have measured the bride, not mentioned size AT ALL, and pulled things based on the bride's taste that the bride could at least get into. Lastly, the attitude and wording used for not "squeezing her into" the dress she was interested in, or redirecting to a more appropriate one was blatantly insulting. Additionally: this is a sales job. If she can't figure out how to gracefully handle situations like this and give her customer what they want in a way that leaves them feeling happy, she is bad at her job.
The only woman calling her TA are also overweight woman.. Get a reality check your fat.. Not everyone has to think your beautiful.. I know I dont
I'm fat. I know I'm fat. I'm not a size 30, but I know I need plus size clothing, not a friggn' 14. She knew that dress was too small. SHE was an AH to begin with by not accepting she would definitely need a plus size. You didn't say anything wrong, she started off ready to be witch, and getting the Manager involved only soothed her ego, and Manager should have stood up for you instead of reprimanding you.
It's called a reality check, not shaming. The 'customer' was just looking for something to complain about. I'm guessing sales person was thin and attractive and the manager was a little heavier, hence the attitude change. A long time ago (before hyper-sensitivity became the norm) I worked a public job where weight balance was a factor. Two large women came up and wanted to be together. I explained as nicely as possible the whole weight balance thing but they didn't get it. Finally, I just told them if they sit together, something is going to break and they'd be injured. They got the hint and sat opposite each other.
I think u handled it correctly, why Try on a dress half your size, its frustrating for u and the customer. She obviously was being difficult and unfortunately u got the blunt end of it. You can only do your best and it sounds like you did just that..keep up the good work! she's not worth ruining your day..
This is another made up story. Anyone who sells these clothes knows that the sizes go up in twos. She would have known it was 8 sizes too small and not 16 without a thought. Her actual math was completely correct. 30 minus 14 is indeed 16. So it wasn't a math mistake at all. Her problem was she failed to realize that the sizes go up in twos. A professional would have known that without even thinking about it. I rule this story fake again. This seems to be pretty much every story now. Now where are all the real stories?
When I was looking for a dress for my wedding (though not a traditional wedding dress) I saw a dress I liked. I entered the store and talked to the clerk, who, without asking size or anything, just said, "It won't fit you". I was a bit of annoyed that I couldn't try it and see for myself, but she was adamant. I came back a month later and just looked longingly at the same dress. The clerk walks up to me and says "You can try it now." It fit perfectly.
It's crazy how it's ok to shame overweight people but if this person were LGBTQ, a POC, or any other marginalized person, there would be a federal case made about it. Literally, to the friggen Supreme Court. It's so bad, common place, and accepted that even big people feel the need to demoralize themselves in the comments to be in favor of the "regular" sized people. No, I'm not big, but my best friend was her whole life and watching this kind of s**t really sucks.
Some of the people above are seriously lacking in reading comprehension. The OP was fine, didn't say anything offensive. She HAS to ask her size initially, it's her job. Second, that girl was in serious denial. Knew damn well she wouldn't fit. If people get "offended" by reality, it's on them. OP wasn't rude in the slightest, they explained their position, what they said to her directly, and what they could have said, to us.
Possibly the best way to get around that is to see if there's a dress similar to the size 14 in a size 26+ instead of just flat up saying that the dress is too small to try on. Or help her check on the computer if there was plus size. Or if you know your client is a plus size, to keep all the much smaller dress out of sight. Out of sight is out of mind. If she's not happy with what you have left. Then she can't complain. If you had so many pretty dress on display and you don't have the size then there will be no happy customer. It's always good to know your client beforehand. I don't know if its a walk up customer but usually wedding dress shop have appointments and forms to fill so the shop can be prepared. After all every bride looks for the prettiest thing in sight. If you had all these gorgeous dress and none of them fit. How disappointing would you make the customer feel?
As a former BIG lady(gastric bypass) a size 14 dress does not always look the same in a 24 or 30 You have to be real about who you are The bride needed to go to a plus size bridal shop
I think she handled it as well as she could, the bride was obviously aware she was big and was just being a jerk and was trying to make the salesperson uncomfortable. If you’re a size 30 you damn well know you’re not going to fit in a 14. Lucky it wasn’t me because I wouldn’t have taken her c**p, salespeople have pride too and shouldn’t have to deal with someone who is delusional. She’s a salesperson, not a miracle worker or magician.
I don't think that the salesperson did anything wrong. She was trying her best to be diplomatic with a customer that clearly wasn't thinking of what the negative outcome could be. My guess is that if she ruined the too small dress, she would have had to pay for it. Also, the salesperson would have been in trouble letting her try it on. I was in a wedding party where a bridesmaid insisted on buying her dress one size smaller because she said that she had planned on losing weight. Well, she didn't. Then when she put on her dress she ripped the seam in the bodice. Here we were running around looking for matching thread & sewing the bridesmaid into her dress so she wouldn't be embarrassed walking down the aisle Needless to say, the bride was in the next room freaking out. But we fixed it!
So tired of the eggshells. I'm fat. Trust me, If you're fat, you know you're fat, getting "offended" becuz someone pointed it out becuz of how it affects the situation is just idiocy.
As a wedding gown sales person I've had to deal with this situation. Its never easy being the one to inform any bride they will not be the same size in a wedding gown as other off the rack dresses. Over weight girls are over weight for a reason. We are not therapists. Some times I'd say well let's try on 3 dresses today since its your first time trying on wedding gowns and then you can think about what looks best. ill make another appointment for you to come back another day. If she does she does. If not oh well. You can't sell to every bride that walks in the door.
Being a woman who is overweight we are always self conscious about it. She was probably upset at herself honestly but taking it out on those around her. Where the associate went wrong was probably the comment about "squeezing her into something " .but honestly there probably wasn't going to be a right answer for her that day
The first step in the sales process is making a connection with your customer. Before you said anything about dresses, you should have spent time warming her up, talking about her pets, getting good vibes going, getting her to like you. Then once there's a rapport between you, ask her what she's looking for. She'll be warmed up to you, so little faux pas like "we only have 3 in that size" and "squeeze into it" will be handled much more charitably by her.
Next time , be honest ...you should have made pig noises and walked away. That's what you wanted to do , you obviously were offended by her weight. It's okay it's human nature to critique each other. I am overweight myself because I enjoy eating, it's my fault. A few people have been honest with me ... and in a way I am thankful that they were, even thou it hurt it did give me a reality check. I am trying harder to lose weight. There is one trait that all.people can relate to , and that is denial. We all suffer from it , it's vicious how people trample all over there own life over denial.....
I apologize to the sales associate who endured that. Why would anyone try on a gown eight sizes too small. I'm a 24 myself and I don't have delusions of grandeur being in anything small. It's on me to get to that place, not for salespeople to give me a sucker and hold my hand.
The saleswoman did nothing wrong with the customer. By not being honest with her boss she accepted blame that did not belong to her. Why didn't she explain the customer wanted to try to fit into a 14 when she was a 30? There is no better defense than that.
If I had been there when the bridezilla was wanting to try on the 14, I would have been laughing and, when asked why, told her that she must be living in a dream world if she thinks she can fit in a dress half her size.
Honestly, I think just saying "this is smaller than what you told me to look for" would have been less problematic or maybe just not saying "we don't want try to squeeze you into that" I can definitely see how that went the wrong way. She tried to be nice about it but she failed. But I don't think she is an a*****e, I think she just needs to work on her people skills.
This lady has been lying to herself a very long time, and when she heard someone saying what she already knew. Now if she had given her the "14" she would have busted it up and then not want to pay for it. It one thing to love your body but be truthful to yourself, if your plus size be plus size because you can lie all day and say you a "14" but as soon as you try on close your body tell the truth. And stop lying on these sale people saying they made you feel uncomfortable about your weight ,you did that the minute you walk in that store asking for a "14" when you knew you needed a 24. Stop lying to yourself.
The size 30 Bride should have known better not to ask for a dress 19 sizes slimmer than herself. Size 30 needs a reality check and should dress to her body type.
The bride got upset when she didn't like the style of the 3 dresses. She may have been embarrassed to even have to state her actual size with family n friends there. I can't believe that she actually thought she could fit into a size 14..that's a big difference. The sales lady's mistake was, "we don't want to try and squeeze you into it." She could have said, do you like that style? How about we pull some more styles and we get those in the size you stated and I will call you when they come in then you can come try them on and pick the one that fits you best. I don't think she intentionally tried to hurt her feelings. Women are sensitive to their weight. Some to the point of paranoia.
It's bridal, which means the sizes are different. No vanity sizing for sure! I don't know if it different for non plus, but I looked at a bridesmaids dress years ago in my actual size, (I was a solid 20), and it was very small, like couldn't get it on if I tried. My salesperson wasn't the most understanding of the size disparity either. That being said, I certainly wouldn't have tried to put myself in it! OP was NTA, but maybe some coaching about how to handle the situation a bit better. Brides can be a challenge, so her manager needs to step up to help navigate these situations.
Lmmfao if ur rude to me like that I'll give u a warning then ill smack u stupid without any words lol yeah but but then ill get fired right? WHO GIVES A F**K theres 11.7 million crappy retail jobs out there u could change jobs forever at that level n never run out of positions. NOBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO BE A P.O.S customer ever!
We were shopping in a vintage clothing store for my sister’s wedding dress. The ones on the rack weren’t to her liking but she saw one on a mannequin and asked to try it (my sister is a size 12). The lady simply said “I’m afraid not. That dress is a size 6 - it’s a very small make and extremely delicate”. And left it at that. We discussed and discussed afterwards whether we thought she had been rude or not - while, of course, they don’t want a delicate dress being squeezed into by a too big body…it just felt like there could have been nicer more customer-servicey ways to have worded that (especially for someone dropping significant wedding dress coin)
Good thing it wasn't me, I believe if you don't want to offend then you can't be honest. I also believe in hitting people with truth bombs.
i walked into lane Bryant to get a gift card for one of my daughters for Christmas i am small 5ft 98 pounds. a sales women looked at me and said we don't have anything for you here. with out even finding out why i was there i think that was way more rude. i bought my gift card and never went back. and i was so shocked by what she said to me i just had to leave before i lost it. i also never complained what would that have helped. .she would have just denied it.
I'm confused by this store. I've never seen a bridal boutique that sells off the rack. Usually they have a sample size or two to give you the idea of the shape and style of the dress, but not every single size. Isn't it pretty common practice to try on a dress that's the wrong size, maybe not be able to zip it or have to hold it closed with clips to get a feel for it, then order it in your size and have it altered to fit? The consultant said they could order dresses in her size, so I don't think she was imagining the size 14 would fit, but wanted to get a feel for that design to see if she wanted to order it in her size.....
There are tons of bridal boutiques that sell off the rack. Also, a lot of clothes just aren’t made in plus sizes, especially gowns.
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The only people agreeing with this customer are also Fat woman.. JUST BECAUSE THE INTERNET LIKE YOUR FAT DOESN'T MEAN EVERYONE DOES!! I hear fat chicks shaming skinny girls all the time.. " She should eat" "I bet she ain't happy" " Poor girl looks broken" But don't let anyone talk about there nasty rolls or smelly sweat.. Or worse when they try to squeeze in size 14.. Lizzo is disgusting and now she is on a diet because she wants to be healthy after she just promoted fat to all these young girls just to make herself feel good.. Fat is not healthy PERIOD
I think there was some serious miscommunication here, the bride probably wanted to look at lots of different styles, and hold it up against her for an idea with the option of ordering larger sizes. At least that’s what I intuited. Only pulling out three limited options because she’s larger is quite snarky, if it’s possible to make larger dresses in other styles too
As a plus size woman, YTA in the words chosen to speak and the handling of the situation. On the flip side, customer was TA to beging with, too. This could have been handled more diplomatically and as a plus size woman, the customer should have had more realistic explanations and either explained what she was looking for or gone somewhere else instead of walking further into the store.
The sales lady was definitely off-base. There was no way someone that much larger was going to be able to squeeze herself into that dress. The sales lady should have pulled any of the dresses the customer liked, noting which could be ordered in her size. If the customer could tell that she wanted one by holding it up to a mirror, then fine. Wedding dresses are non-refundable so, if the customer ordered one, then everybody wins.
That's the thing. The OP did all those things...and the customer copped an attitude and started demanding to try on a size 14. So either the customer was confused or possibly using UK or European sizes rather than US sizes or she was not a size 30, knew she wasn't, and just didn't like her assigned consultant but was to passive aggressive to say so up front.
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NTA. You tried to be tactful and tried your best not to sound like you were fatshaming her when you weren't. Plus, if anyone, no matter their weight, tried on a dress that was too small, they would feel very uncomfortable, and who would want to feel uncomfortable on any day, much less one of the most important days of your life!
Who the hell would ever marry a size 30 woman?. I know they may grow to that,but to marry one?
Why not just Lose the weight and get Healthy? Change your mind set, start exercising, stop eating garbage - candy , processed food, eat fruits and veggies, drink Water, it's all about Choices. It's not always easy, but you only have One body, and you need to take care of it! You can get heart disease, diabetes, heart attack, stroke, etc.! Find Out what Happened to You - To cause your over eating, look deep into your heart, forgive and move on. You gotta take care of yourself.
NO, YOU DID NOTHING WRONG BUT THE FAT INSECURE RUDE JERK PIG OF A BRIDEZILLA DID! I HOPE HER DRESS SPLITS AT HER WEDDING AND HER NEW HUSBAND GETS CAUGHT SCREWING HER BRIDESMAID-NOW THAT WOULD BE SOME AWESOME KARMA!
Yeah, nice try, but no. No one who is the size of 2 people should think they're going to find a dress just anywhere. It's not like the consultant was telling her something new.
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Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I can guarantee that, if she had let the bride try the dress and it broke, she would have been reprimanded by the manager: "Why did you let her try it on?! Didn't you see it was too small for her? Why didn't you say something?".... I'm 100% sure of it. She did good trying to talk her out if it, maybe she could have chosen other words... Anyway I'm sensing that the bride was in a bad mood from the beginning and nothing the poor girl might have said could have been right or enough. (I'm sure I've used some wrong verb tenses; forgive me for that😆)
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This is crazy and how you create entitled customers. Just always let them be rude to staff, give em what they want, stay polite and tell the staff to shut up, cause you want money.
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That's your opinion. I like this content. It's obviously here because others like it too. No one is forcing you to read it.
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I needed my wedding dress in a plus size so guess what? I went to a plus size wedding specialist. Don't be that idiot who has an out-of-average requirement but expects average stores to cater to you then gets pissy when all they do is their best. It's not always your fault that you're different to average but it certainly isn't theirs either.
I'm right on the verge of plus, size 16-18 depending on store and i definitely check to see whether places carry my size! Is there a special level of stupidity some people hit that gives them an inability to know what will fit them?! A clothing size isn't a judgement, it's a fact. The way the story is told i expected the bride to pull a Chris Farley in a small dress xD
Load More Replies... It's not body shaming someone to tell them that a dress half the size of what they usually wear probably isn't going to fit. It's just being matter of fact. And the salesperson tried to say it gently.
At least she has patience with rude idiots, I don't. You'd think one of the peeps that were with her would speak up and give her a reality check.
Load More Replies... There was no "poor wording" here and any offense was, yet again, conjured within the mind of someone looking to be a victim. You're going to get asked your size when you go into a bridal shop. Period. That you're going into one that doesn't specifically cater to your body type should make it even more obvious this is going to happen. Wedding dresses are stupidly over priced, why would anyone think they're going to be allowed to try on something meant for someone half their size. Well, they probably didn't. What they did want was to create a situation in which they either get to ruin an expensive dress, or they get to be offended by someone pointing out reality because there is nothing the clerk could have said that couldn't be argued as offensive by the standards of today.
She likely wouldn't have gotten it over her thighs, never mind her butt. What a clown! If yer fat, own up to it. And her "micromanager" was a jerk for sticking up for the delusional customer and not her employee! I'd walk out of that joints
Load More Replies... You did nothing wrong. And I say this as a size 26 woman. Dealing with reality is not body shaming.
I know right? I purposely don't go shopping in places where I know I won't find clothes my size. The bride was delusional.
Load More Replies... My mom does alterations and I guarantee you that this isn't about the salesperson being mean or offensive, this is about a customer who didn't do her research. You can check beforehand, you can't break or tear too small dresses. Body shaming had nothing to do with it.
I shame anybody who's a rude idiot, fat or boney.
Load More Replies... Wedding dresses infamously run small, so trying on the correct size was already a long shot. And holding one up to your body is NO way to try it on, you have to try it on your actual body to see how it fits, where the waist is vs your waist (I have a high waist, I KNOW some cuts don’t flatter me), how the bust fits, the sleeves, the skirt, the length, etc. Wedding dresses usually have a lot going on, structurally, so eyeing one does not equal an actual fitting.
Right. I've also heard when wedding dress shopping, it's a no no to do that. Its makes an unrealistic expectation. You fall in love with something that won't fit, or have alternate sizes of the same dress.
Load More Replies... Oof. I was a "bridal consultant" (wedding dress sales assoc) on the weekend shift in college. Wedding dress shopping is such a high stress and emotional experience for brides-to-be even if you're not plus sized. This woman sounds like a rookie who didn't know how to handle the situation. It sounds like the bride tried to show her the size 14 to give her an idea of what she's looking for. In which case, she should have said something like, "That dress is beautiful. I see the style you're looking for is X. Let me try to find something similar that you can try on comfortably." You can almost always order dresses in a larger size, unless they're discontinued or one-of-a-kind.
Been looking around to see if anyone had the basic children's level of common sense to understand that.. Very glad to at least see one person not just desperately trying to defend skillful subtle rudeness. .... As if subtlety makes it okay. I get 'stealth bullied' a LOT myself so I am really annoyed reading this all. Why would she not be allowed to just look how a certain pattern looks held up against her?? I hope that salesperson switches careers. As if the size of a piece of clothing stops your from understanding what that pattern looks like, etc..... Smh. I can hold CHILD clothing up against my body and tell if I like it and I just want a bigger one! There's no reason to be rude as all get out because your customer is chubby.. really disgusting how some people show their true colors.
Load More Replies... I'm not saying a size 30 woman is definitely justified with thinking they can fit into a size 14 but women's fashion needs to get away from their weird numbering system since it is meaningless. I guarantee every size 14 in that shop was actually a different size since each manufacturer can change what the number means, even between items. Is a size 14 dress built for a woman with a 42 inch bust and 32 inch hips or a 32 inch bust and 42 inch hips? Is the hemline for someone 4'11" or 6'2"?
As a woman, I wish our pants were sized the way men's pants are
Load More Replies... Body shaming is being an a*****e about someone's weight. Period. Calling someone fat, or words similar is rude. Asking someone their size in a setting where it's appropriate... NOT BODY SHAMING! It's not like you don't know your size & what fits. Doesn't matter if your a size 90000 or a -80 lol. You. Know. Your. Size. You know what fits. Don't play dumb & don't be a d**k & try to get someone fired just because you are upset. I understand wedding dress shopping is hella stressful... again doesn't matter what size you are. It's a nightmare. I imagine it being even harder for curvy & plus sized women.. as not everywhere is inclusive. But that's not the sales associates fault. If you have a problem with the inclusivity... take it up with the damn company.
Idk. Because I agree that the bridal consultant was a bit rude but then again the bride brought up the fact she was a size 30 and the consultant told her the truth...this was not a plus size friendly bridal shop so there were only 3 dresses in stock in size 30. Could the bridal consultant handled it better? Absolutely. Was it all one sided? Nope. And let's not forget...the customer ended up buying a dress so maybe it was just a miscommunication about sizing or a personality conflict.
Load More Replies... Definitely NTA but as a big girl, I can tell you your plus sized customer probably has all kinds of triggers and issues just walking into a dress shop, let alone (gulp) trying something on. Trying something on, especially with thin pretty ladies around, is an utter nightmare. Thank you for trying to be kind to her. If it was me I'd want to look at a few "in my dreams I could wear this" dresses. And then I would sigh and get something that fit. It is wonderful that your shop can even GET a 30.
There's nothing kind about telling the customer that they don't want to be squeezing her into the dress. It was rude whether the person as a size 30 or a size 8.
Load More Replies... This customer knew that the dress would not fit her. But she challenged the salesperson anyway. Did she expect that she should be allowed to try anyway knowing that the likely outcome would be ripping the dress? The salesperson was pointing out the obvious. If she did not want to have it pointed out to her that some sizes are too small than she should not have insisted upon trying on a dress half her size.
Hit that nail right on the head! So sick of people ( all sexes, sizes, etc) who strut in with an “im so special” attitude & cause trouble. Freakin’ grow up people!!
Load More Replies... NTA. Did anyone else think 🤔...if she bought a dress once she complained to the manager and probably got a discount...she very likely wasn't actually a size 30 in the first place and this was a set up from the start. I say this because I'm a plus size woman who wears an 20-22 and I know better than to even look at the size 14 dress section because I'm just gonna be disappointed or inadvertently or sometimes out right rudely fat shamed for not staying in my "plus size" lane. Also did anyone else notice the customer brought up she was a size 30 and then "hated" the 3 dresses in her "correct" size, so she just "magically" gravitated to the size 14 section...(things that make you go 🤔)
As a plus size woman myself...I get it. It sucks to go into a average size retail store and be told ... We have one dress in your size so maybe you should just shop our online selection 🤬 But with that said I KNOW to expect that reaction so I don't bother wasting my time or theirs to be fat shamed. But I'm kinda wondering if this "Karen" didn't set you up. Because she brought up the size 30 first and should have reasonably know your store didn't stock many options that size. Also it's telling she deliberately and knowingly picked out a size 14 dress then again baited you into telling her no it won't fit you. Again, when you're a size 30 for real for real, you damn well know your happy "self" isn't gonna fit in a size 14 and you've got no business even looking in that size section let alone asking some thin/average size sales person to let you try it on... So no, NTA. More sometimes customers and especially "Karen's" just suck to deal with but such is the joy of working retail
I agree, I think it was a ploy to get a discount. Odds are when faced with a completely undoable circumstance people will falter in how to handle it. The customer intentionally set-up the OP. Yes the salesperson shouldn't have used the words "squeeze into", but she was set-up by the customer.
Load More Replies... I wasn’t one of the girls who grew up drooling over Brides Magazine. In fact, when I was a girl, I liked the idea of eloping because of the privacy (reinforced later when I worked night audit in a hotel with a bridal venue, and saw too many couples bothered by drunk “friends” all night). My husband and I got married at the courthouse with just a few close friends in attendance. I wore a nice white dress, my husband wore a suit, and we stayed at a friend’s beach house for our honeymoon, which was their wedding gift to us. For us, that was simple, low key, stress-free, and perfect. However, I have been bridal gown shopping with friends, so know it can be a very demoralizing experience. The way bridal gowns are sized are brutal. The woman in this story may have been a size 20 anywhere else, but a 30 in the bridal store. Believe me, those f*****g numbers have an effect, and not always a good one. I remember a size 4 friend of mine ended up in something like a size 12 or 14 wedding gown, that had the same measurements as a comparable size 4 formal gown in any other store. That’s just cruel, especially considering how much we invest in finding our dream wedding gown.
Wedding dresses are correctly sized because at most shops you have to wait months to get the dress made for you. Off the rack clothing is vanity sizing. I say this because off the rack I wear a 6. If I buy a pattern based on measurements I am a 12.
Load More Replies... If dress was several sizes smaller, she must see it's not gonna fit. She should try to find something similar in bigger sizes. Even if she managed to get into dress, it wouldn't look good.
People generally know their size. Not sure why this bride was being so extra but OP shouldn’t have gotten in trouble for that.
Who the F thinks...oh hey, size 14 dress to try on my size 30 body?? This defies logic, common sense.
NTA OP. I think you should have told the manager what happened before the bride did. NO DOUBT the bride would have, at the very least, ripped the dress. Then you'd have been in a worse off situation with your manager. Ask manager how the store would like you to handle a bride like this, since they don't want you to hold it up to them.
NTA! First of all, you simply recommended that she doesn’t put on a dress that is likely too small. Second, that girl was being super rude to you but acted all nice when the manager was there and lied to them that you shamed her. That is manipulative! Lastly, she would’ve been more embarrassed if you let her try it and the dress ripped at the seams. Seriously NTA, but that girl is.
If she lacks the self-awareness to know she could blow out a seam trying on a sample dress, which I'm guessing are expensive to make, then she deserves to hear the truth. Some people don't take a hint.
I would have, as I said to hell with this, and walked out that door.
Load More Replies... I think the client did it on purpose, full well knowing she would "get insulted" and that's why she changed her tone when served by the mgr. She knew very well that you didn't have the authority to give a discount, but the mgr would, in return for the drama mama. She played you, AND played the mgr.
Size 30 Bride was not shamed putting on a dress 16 sizes smaller than her true size 8s crazy. She should have lost the weight during the engagement . If I was the owner of the Shop I'd have a Policy to address the issue.
I really don't think the OP did anything wrong. I'm baffled by the woman wanting to try on a size 14 dress when she knows she's a 30. Maybe there are a few things OP could have said a little more nicely, but she's NTA here.
i’m BIG and i would never be so ridiculous to attempt to try on a dress that small no matter how frustrated i may be with dress shopping and maybe even with fps (fat people syndrome) as i like to call it, but I don’t take get upset at one person for other peoples rude behaviour and sink to the same level OR walk around with a chip on my should because i’m obese and struggling to find a dress.
Some years ago, a customer was trying on prom dresses. She could not get out of it so she asked for help. Neither my manager or I could get the zipper to budge. So manager had to cut the dress off of her.
The reason an a*s is because she has gone to other shops and they didn’t have her size in what she has seen and wants. This personknows that her size is a problem and has taken it out on every salesperson she has come across.
The last reddit comment by tnscatterbrain *name is accurate* decided ESH and accuses OP of laughing at the customer. I so wish people would read the story. Nowhere does it say OP was laughing at her when she told her about not wanting to squeeze into the dress. Sry to put it here, couldn't address it on reddit.
I completely agree with your comment. I seen that and thought "Which story did they read? Because it surely was NOT this one!" You've got people that don't read the whole story, and people who can't read context. This was definitely a did not read it all situation.
Load More Replies... Attitude can say a lot more than words sometimes and often we're unaware of the tones we add in. If the words were said with the wrong intonation, they'd come across as the stereotypical snotty salesperson who thinks you're too poor for the thing (Pretty Woman style). The way this was worded, that could easily have happened here.
You could be correct, but for an individual to chose an option which will so obviously not work indicates a set-up or ploy for some other agenda. I suspect the customer was looking for a discount or compensation for poor service.
Load More Replies... Watched my sister do something similar in a bridal store but she threw a full blown tantrum. When her fiancee saw how horribly she acted he dumped her.
I so miss the days when fat was fat, skinny was skinny, dumb was dumb, ugly was ugly....how have we got to such nonsense?
She's not necessarily the a*****e, but this website is for using a photo of a plus size bride as an "example of a fat person in a wedding dress". Super unnecessary.
She knows she's not skinny. She should not have asked to try on the 14. She could have ruined the dress splitting the same gent even tearing the material by forcing it.
Definitely NTA. Brides are stressful and difficult anyway, and trying on a dress 8 sizes too small isn't going to make the bride feel great and I guess if she damaged the dress she'd have to pay for it. Maybe you should have just let her do it. I've worked in retail and I would have done exactly what you did. Don't let this bride terrorize you! You were doing your job
Please remove this person from your mind. It's not your fault the customer has weighty issues. And, she wanted to take it out on you.
The Bride should dress to body type and use common sense. I don't like body shaming it's harmful to girls it gives you low self esteem and confidence.
Perceived insults had nothing to do with the customer's attitude. Assuming the story is told in the correct order, the customer was rude and arrogant long before the issue with the size 14 dress came up. She wanted to feel special and she only got that when she had a manager's attention. Any "underling" would have had the same experience.
NTA the bridezilla can't understand she's too big for the dress n she set herself up for that one assuming she can squeeze into it. Not so much. I have a sister who's heavy set as well n she rather go slightly bigger than her size so she can fit n move arnd but I guess she thought she would make magic n go 16 sizes smaller. Sry not happening. The sales lady was very sweet compared to things n stories I've heard that ppl simply said no ya too fat n no this wasn't the case she tried her best n bridezilla is just rude n others had to help her n finally got one. I can just see how the wedding will go the way she's being. Ya did ya best n no way should ya be in trouble she's just a rotten b***h who can't get her way or magically become who she isnt.
I'd rather have her than one of the sales people i dealt with before prom. When I was in highschool getting ready for prom i was in-between plus size and the larger side of regular. I was trying on anything from a 12(it was a little snug by my grandma would make alterations and an 18 (a little loose but again, grandma would make alterations.) I went to a place near me where there was a little platform in the middle of the room with mirrors surrounding half of it so you'd put on the dress and go out on the platform and look in the mirror and all the shoppers could see you. My "personal sales representative" picked out a size 8 dress and dragged me out on the platform and was poking and pushing my chub into the dress to get it to close saying "it's okay you'r a big girl we can get it to fit." I burst out crying and left. (Went to another store and found a wonderful dress and the sales associate was so nice and after my mom told me what happened she let me use the private rooms upstairs.)
As a large bodied person near that size, the fear of just going in to try dresses when you already know the selection will be bad and you know that your body is not going to look the way you truly want in a wedding dress, they truly arent designed for large bodies, then yeah of course the bride was going to be on edge. I dont think the sales person was rude or wrong but also has no clue what its like to be in their shoes and how awful so many clothing experiences are.
As a large bodied person would you choose an option you know is 8 sizes smaller in the first place? Yes it is difficult when you try on items in a range and they don't fit, I have definitely been in this frustrating situation but I never purposefully choose items no where near my size. I think the customer intentionally created a conflict so as to garner special treatment, ie manager attention, possible discount.
Load More Replies... She was being the perfect bridezilla. She planned on going in for the kill before she even stepped into your shop. When you are a big girl and you know you can't fit into anything but a size 30, she just was pissed because she knew a size 14 wouldn't work no matter what. Instead of wasting her time and your time she should have gone to a big girl's shop in the first place. You are not the AH, she is.
Going to a plus size store would have been the best option for the bride. It was her frustration talking when you feel the world is made for tiny people and you’re not included.
NTA, she'd have possibly tore and damaged that dress if she'd had tried so desperately to squeeze into it. You saved her from having to pay for damages. I'm petty so after her being so rude I'd probably have smiled all sweetly and said "sure" then presented her with the bill after she damaged it. You didn't body shame her, simply gave her a dose of much needed reality. That dress is literally more than half her size, there is no way it would ever fit unless she spent a long, long time on the treadmill (which tbh, might be beneficial at a size 30, that's got to be morbidly obese, surely? not fat shaming, I'm a bit chunky myself but that size sounds worrying o.o)
Sounds like she knew it wouldn't fit and not in a great mood to start with about dress shopping at her size. Not having an idea of what would fit or flatter or even a photo from her is tough too. Plus she was put in the spotlight w family and friends there too could hav e pressured her more. And she might have been told to calm the f down when you went to get the manager. Reality is that stores don't carry plus dresses. They carry trendy sizes. There should be a plus size retailer with prom and bridesmaids dresses that can be sized down for smaller ladies in the wedding parties. Maybe I just created the best idea.
She was the a*****e sorry. Shopping for a wedding dress (or any dress) when you are plus-sized is stressful and humiliating as you are made to feel like you don't belong in clothes shops. The assistant was hostile from the get go. Telling her they only had 3 dresses in her size in front of everyone, like she was asking for something ridiculous. I wonder what her face was doing at the time. I am the same size as her and I can tell you people have a look of disgust on their faces without even realising it. She picked up the 14 in a protest I assure you. This woman ruined what should have been a good experience and you know what, ALL the dresses should come in a size 30. We are people too. Just for the record I am not a victim, I have an eating disorder. No one wants to be fat, it is sometimes out of our control.
Seriously? "Listen up, fat a*s - a size 14 won't fit one of your thighs" would have been offensive, trying to assist her in finding a dress that actually fit was not. NTA
I think stating facts would have been better. By "trying to be nice" and saying we don't want you "squeezing" into the dress it was offensive. I would have said "This dress is a size 14, and your regular size is a size 30. Unfortunately, the smallest dress you would be able to comfortably try on is a size 26/28, which I would be happy to pull for you."
The consultant's attitude was off from start to finish. First, she was asking for pictures (of dresses the bride didn't like enough to buy! And most shops don't allow photos!) and sizes and all that, which can come across like she didn't want to give the full service experience, she just wanted the shortcut to the end. Then she never asked what the bride was looking for. She jumped straight to "we've got three that'll fit" No "do you like beading? Lace? A line or a ball gown?" Which would have enabled her to say "I think you'd love this one, (shows her one she can get into and uses clips and etc. while leaving the back open to show what it would look like in the correct size) Next, wedding dresses have their own sizing. It is a completely different to regular clothes. People either don't know their size, or lie about it. She should have measured the bride, not mentioned size AT ALL, and pulled things based on the bride's taste that the bride could at least get into. Lastly, the attitude and wording used for not "squeezing her into" the dress she was interested in, or redirecting to a more appropriate one was blatantly insulting. Additionally: this is a sales job. If she can't figure out how to gracefully handle situations like this and give her customer what they want in a way that leaves them feeling happy, she is bad at her job.
The only woman calling her TA are also overweight woman.. Get a reality check your fat.. Not everyone has to think your beautiful.. I know I dont
I'm fat. I know I'm fat. I'm not a size 30, but I know I need plus size clothing, not a friggn' 14. She knew that dress was too small. SHE was an AH to begin with by not accepting she would definitely need a plus size. You didn't say anything wrong, she started off ready to be witch, and getting the Manager involved only soothed her ego, and Manager should have stood up for you instead of reprimanding you.
It's called a reality check, not shaming. The 'customer' was just looking for something to complain about. I'm guessing sales person was thin and attractive and the manager was a little heavier, hence the attitude change. A long time ago (before hyper-sensitivity became the norm) I worked a public job where weight balance was a factor. Two large women came up and wanted to be together. I explained as nicely as possible the whole weight balance thing but they didn't get it. Finally, I just told them if they sit together, something is going to break and they'd be injured. They got the hint and sat opposite each other.
I think u handled it correctly, why Try on a dress half your size, its frustrating for u and the customer. She obviously was being difficult and unfortunately u got the blunt end of it. You can only do your best and it sounds like you did just that..keep up the good work! she's not worth ruining your day..
This is another made up story. Anyone who sells these clothes knows that the sizes go up in twos. She would have known it was 8 sizes too small and not 16 without a thought. Her actual math was completely correct. 30 minus 14 is indeed 16. So it wasn't a math mistake at all. Her problem was she failed to realize that the sizes go up in twos. A professional would have known that without even thinking about it. I rule this story fake again. This seems to be pretty much every story now. Now where are all the real stories?
When I was looking for a dress for my wedding (though not a traditional wedding dress) I saw a dress I liked. I entered the store and talked to the clerk, who, without asking size or anything, just said, "It won't fit you". I was a bit of annoyed that I couldn't try it and see for myself, but she was adamant. I came back a month later and just looked longingly at the same dress. The clerk walks up to me and says "You can try it now." It fit perfectly.
It's crazy how it's ok to shame overweight people but if this person were LGBTQ, a POC, or any other marginalized person, there would be a federal case made about it. Literally, to the friggen Supreme Court. It's so bad, common place, and accepted that even big people feel the need to demoralize themselves in the comments to be in favor of the "regular" sized people. No, I'm not big, but my best friend was her whole life and watching this kind of s**t really sucks.
Some of the people above are seriously lacking in reading comprehension. The OP was fine, didn't say anything offensive. She HAS to ask her size initially, it's her job. Second, that girl was in serious denial. Knew damn well she wouldn't fit. If people get "offended" by reality, it's on them. OP wasn't rude in the slightest, they explained their position, what they said to her directly, and what they could have said, to us.
Possibly the best way to get around that is to see if there's a dress similar to the size 14 in a size 26+ instead of just flat up saying that the dress is too small to try on. Or help her check on the computer if there was plus size. Or if you know your client is a plus size, to keep all the much smaller dress out of sight. Out of sight is out of mind. If she's not happy with what you have left. Then she can't complain. If you had so many pretty dress on display and you don't have the size then there will be no happy customer. It's always good to know your client beforehand. I don't know if its a walk up customer but usually wedding dress shop have appointments and forms to fill so the shop can be prepared. After all every bride looks for the prettiest thing in sight. If you had all these gorgeous dress and none of them fit. How disappointing would you make the customer feel?
As a former BIG lady(gastric bypass) a size 14 dress does not always look the same in a 24 or 30 You have to be real about who you are The bride needed to go to a plus size bridal shop
I think she handled it as well as she could, the bride was obviously aware she was big and was just being a jerk and was trying to make the salesperson uncomfortable. If you’re a size 30 you damn well know you’re not going to fit in a 14. Lucky it wasn’t me because I wouldn’t have taken her c**p, salespeople have pride too and shouldn’t have to deal with someone who is delusional. She’s a salesperson, not a miracle worker or magician.
I don't think that the salesperson did anything wrong. She was trying her best to be diplomatic with a customer that clearly wasn't thinking of what the negative outcome could be. My guess is that if she ruined the too small dress, she would have had to pay for it. Also, the salesperson would have been in trouble letting her try it on. I was in a wedding party where a bridesmaid insisted on buying her dress one size smaller because she said that she had planned on losing weight. Well, she didn't. Then when she put on her dress she ripped the seam in the bodice. Here we were running around looking for matching thread & sewing the bridesmaid into her dress so she wouldn't be embarrassed walking down the aisle Needless to say, the bride was in the next room freaking out. But we fixed it!
So tired of the eggshells. I'm fat. Trust me, If you're fat, you know you're fat, getting "offended" becuz someone pointed it out becuz of how it affects the situation is just idiocy.
As a wedding gown sales person I've had to deal with this situation. Its never easy being the one to inform any bride they will not be the same size in a wedding gown as other off the rack dresses. Over weight girls are over weight for a reason. We are not therapists. Some times I'd say well let's try on 3 dresses today since its your first time trying on wedding gowns and then you can think about what looks best. ill make another appointment for you to come back another day. If she does she does. If not oh well. You can't sell to every bride that walks in the door.
Being a woman who is overweight we are always self conscious about it. She was probably upset at herself honestly but taking it out on those around her. Where the associate went wrong was probably the comment about "squeezing her into something " .but honestly there probably wasn't going to be a right answer for her that day
The first step in the sales process is making a connection with your customer. Before you said anything about dresses, you should have spent time warming her up, talking about her pets, getting good vibes going, getting her to like you. Then once there's a rapport between you, ask her what she's looking for. She'll be warmed up to you, so little faux pas like "we only have 3 in that size" and "squeeze into it" will be handled much more charitably by her.
Next time , be honest ...you should have made pig noises and walked away. That's what you wanted to do , you obviously were offended by her weight. It's okay it's human nature to critique each other. I am overweight myself because I enjoy eating, it's my fault. A few people have been honest with me ... and in a way I am thankful that they were, even thou it hurt it did give me a reality check. I am trying harder to lose weight. There is one trait that all.people can relate to , and that is denial. We all suffer from it , it's vicious how people trample all over there own life over denial.....
I apologize to the sales associate who endured that. Why would anyone try on a gown eight sizes too small. I'm a 24 myself and I don't have delusions of grandeur being in anything small. It's on me to get to that place, not for salespeople to give me a sucker and hold my hand.
The saleswoman did nothing wrong with the customer. By not being honest with her boss she accepted blame that did not belong to her. Why didn't she explain the customer wanted to try to fit into a 14 when she was a 30? There is no better defense than that.
If I had been there when the bridezilla was wanting to try on the 14, I would have been laughing and, when asked why, told her that she must be living in a dream world if she thinks she can fit in a dress half her size.
Honestly, I think just saying "this is smaller than what you told me to look for" would have been less problematic or maybe just not saying "we don't want try to squeeze you into that" I can definitely see how that went the wrong way. She tried to be nice about it but she failed. But I don't think she is an a*****e, I think she just needs to work on her people skills.
This lady has been lying to herself a very long time, and when she heard someone saying what she already knew. Now if she had given her the "14" she would have busted it up and then not want to pay for it. It one thing to love your body but be truthful to yourself, if your plus size be plus size because you can lie all day and say you a "14" but as soon as you try on close your body tell the truth. And stop lying on these sale people saying they made you feel uncomfortable about your weight ,you did that the minute you walk in that store asking for a "14" when you knew you needed a 24. Stop lying to yourself.
The size 30 Bride should have known better not to ask for a dress 19 sizes slimmer than herself. Size 30 needs a reality check and should dress to her body type.
The bride got upset when she didn't like the style of the 3 dresses. She may have been embarrassed to even have to state her actual size with family n friends there. I can't believe that she actually thought she could fit into a size 14..that's a big difference. The sales lady's mistake was, "we don't want to try and squeeze you into it." She could have said, do you like that style? How about we pull some more styles and we get those in the size you stated and I will call you when they come in then you can come try them on and pick the one that fits you best. I don't think she intentionally tried to hurt her feelings. Women are sensitive to their weight. Some to the point of paranoia.
It's bridal, which means the sizes are different. No vanity sizing for sure! I don't know if it different for non plus, but I looked at a bridesmaids dress years ago in my actual size, (I was a solid 20), and it was very small, like couldn't get it on if I tried. My salesperson wasn't the most understanding of the size disparity either. That being said, I certainly wouldn't have tried to put myself in it! OP was NTA, but maybe some coaching about how to handle the situation a bit better. Brides can be a challenge, so her manager needs to step up to help navigate these situations.
Lmmfao if ur rude to me like that I'll give u a warning then ill smack u stupid without any words lol yeah but but then ill get fired right? WHO GIVES A F**K theres 11.7 million crappy retail jobs out there u could change jobs forever at that level n never run out of positions. NOBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO BE A P.O.S customer ever!
We were shopping in a vintage clothing store for my sister’s wedding dress. The ones on the rack weren’t to her liking but she saw one on a mannequin and asked to try it (my sister is a size 12). The lady simply said “I’m afraid not. That dress is a size 6 - it’s a very small make and extremely delicate”. And left it at that. We discussed and discussed afterwards whether we thought she had been rude or not - while, of course, they don’t want a delicate dress being squeezed into by a too big body…it just felt like there could have been nicer more customer-servicey ways to have worded that (especially for someone dropping significant wedding dress coin)
Good thing it wasn't me, I believe if you don't want to offend then you can't be honest. I also believe in hitting people with truth bombs.
i walked into lane Bryant to get a gift card for one of my daughters for Christmas i am small 5ft 98 pounds. a sales women looked at me and said we don't have anything for you here. with out even finding out why i was there i think that was way more rude. i bought my gift card and never went back. and i was so shocked by what she said to me i just had to leave before i lost it. i also never complained what would that have helped. .she would have just denied it.
I'm confused by this store. I've never seen a bridal boutique that sells off the rack. Usually they have a sample size or two to give you the idea of the shape and style of the dress, but not every single size. Isn't it pretty common practice to try on a dress that's the wrong size, maybe not be able to zip it or have to hold it closed with clips to get a feel for it, then order it in your size and have it altered to fit? The consultant said they could order dresses in her size, so I don't think she was imagining the size 14 would fit, but wanted to get a feel for that design to see if she wanted to order it in her size.....
There are tons of bridal boutiques that sell off the rack. Also, a lot of clothes just aren’t made in plus sizes, especially gowns.
Load More Replies... The only people agreeing with this customer are also Fat woman.. JUST BECAUSE THE INTERNET LIKE YOUR FAT DOESN'T MEAN EVERYONE DOES!! I hear fat chicks shaming skinny girls all the time.. " She should eat" "I bet she ain't happy" " Poor girl looks broken" But don't let anyone talk about there nasty rolls or smelly sweat.. Or worse when they try to squeeze in size 14.. Lizzo is disgusting and now she is on a diet because she wants to be healthy after she just promoted fat to all these young girls just to make herself feel good.. Fat is not healthy PERIOD
I think there was some serious miscommunication here, the bride probably wanted to look at lots of different styles, and hold it up against her for an idea with the option of ordering larger sizes. At least that’s what I intuited. Only pulling out three limited options because she’s larger is quite snarky, if it’s possible to make larger dresses in other styles too
As a plus size woman, YTA in the words chosen to speak and the handling of the situation. On the flip side, customer was TA to beging with, too. This could have been handled more diplomatically and as a plus size woman, the customer should have had more realistic explanations and either explained what she was looking for or gone somewhere else instead of walking further into the store.
The sales lady was definitely off-base. There was no way someone that much larger was going to be able to squeeze herself into that dress. The sales lady should have pulled any of the dresses the customer liked, noting which could be ordered in her size. If the customer could tell that she wanted one by holding it up to a mirror, then fine. Wedding dresses are non-refundable so, if the customer ordered one, then everybody wins.
That's the thing. The OP did all those things...and the customer copped an attitude and started demanding to try on a size 14. So either the customer was confused or possibly using UK or European sizes rather than US sizes or she was not a size 30, knew she wasn't, and just didn't like her assigned consultant but was to passive aggressive to say so up front.
Load More Replies... NTA. You tried to be tactful and tried your best not to sound like you were fatshaming her when you weren't. Plus, if anyone, no matter their weight, tried on a dress that was too small, they would feel very uncomfortable, and who would want to feel uncomfortable on any day, much less one of the most important days of your life!
Who the hell would ever marry a size 30 woman?. I know they may grow to that,but to marry one?
Why not just Lose the weight and get Healthy? Change your mind set, start exercising, stop eating garbage - candy , processed food, eat fruits and veggies, drink Water, it's all about Choices. It's not always easy, but you only have One body, and you need to take care of it! You can get heart disease, diabetes, heart attack, stroke, etc.! Find Out what Happened to You - To cause your over eating, look deep into your heart, forgive and move on. You gotta take care of yourself.
NO, YOU DID NOTHING WRONG BUT THE FAT INSECURE RUDE JERK PIG OF A BRIDEZILLA DID! I HOPE HER DRESS SPLITS AT HER WEDDING AND HER NEW HUSBAND GETS CAUGHT SCREWING HER BRIDESMAID-NOW THAT WOULD BE SOME AWESOME KARMA!
Yeah, nice try, but no. No one who is the size of 2 people should think they're going to find a dress just anywhere. It's not like the consultant was telling her something new.
Load More Replies... Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I can guarantee that, if she had let the bride try the dress and it broke, she would have been reprimanded by the manager: "Why did you let her try it on?! Didn't you see it was too small for her? Why didn't you say something?".... I'm 100% sure of it. She did good trying to talk her out if it, maybe she could have chosen other words... Anyway I'm sensing that the bride was in a bad mood from the beginning and nothing the poor girl might have said could have been right or enough. (I'm sure I've used some wrong verb tenses; forgive me for that😆)
Load More Replies... This is crazy and how you create entitled customers. Just always let them be rude to staff, give em what they want, stay polite and tell the staff to shut up, cause you want money.
Load More Replies... That's your opinion. I like this content. It's obviously here because others like it too. No one is forcing you to read it.
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