Pregnant Woman Asks For Parents’ Help For A Few Weeks, Refuses To Let Them Stay At Her House Because She Wants Privacy
When you have a child, your entire life changes. Suddenly, you’re a parent and you have to learn a whole new set of skills—from making airplane noises while juggling a spoonful of food to juggling family life, your career, and finding free moments for those sweet, sweet naps. One thing that many new parents miss is having some time completely to themselves. Privacy is in very short supply in Parenthood Peninsula.
A big part of parenting, then, becomes learning to find the balance between time that you need for yourself, as well as your duties to your family and friends. It’s perfectly fine—even healthy—to ask for help when you need it. However, if you do ask someone for a favor, you have to be willing to treat them with respect. Especially if that ‘someone’ is your parents. A pregnant redditor, who has since deleted her account, turned to the AITA online community for a verdict on whether or not she was acting like a jerk. She asked her parents to come and help her once she’s given birth to the baby, but she flat-out refused to host them at her house (aka their former home). In short, she wanted them to be in town, in a hotel somewhere, but not actually living with her and her partner for a few weeks.
Scroll down for the full story and the reactions, Pandas. It’s one of those rare AITA stories where the author isn’t automatically judged to be a saint. Let us know what you thought of the situation and how you would have approached it in the comment section.
Bored Panda reached out to labor and delivery nurse Holly D., who explained to us why there’s a need for healthy boundaries in the weeks leading up to the birth and what challenges moms can expect to face during the postpartum phase—the time after childbirth. You’ll find our full interview with nurse Holly below.
The periods leading up to the birth of your child and after it can be stressful. Healthy communication with your family is essential. If it breaks down, feelings can get hurt
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
A pregnant mom-to-be asked the AITA community for their opinion about a situation regarding boundaries and privacy
Image credits: Bruno Maceiras (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)
Image credits: [deleted]
According to L&D nurse Holly, the postpartum period can be overwhelming, and she sees it both in a positive, as well as a negative light. She said that there is an “overwhelming amount of emotions, relationship shifts, new life roles, fluctuating hormones, physical healing, support, the list goes on.”
Taking on the role of a new mother is challenging. Meanwhile, you also have to adjust to the physical changes your body experiences in the days and weeks following the birth of your baby. “At times, the overwhelming amount of support from loved ones visiting you and baby can make you feel overwhelmingly supported or overwhelmingly stimulated,” nurse Holly told Bored Panda.
Meanwhile, leading up to the birth itself, moms-to-be need to set healthy boundaries with their family members, as well as friends. “Healthy communication is KEY,” labor and delivery nurse Holly said. “A spouse or significant other can be helpful by being cognizant of mom’s wishes for what she would like her postpartum experience to be. It’s also equally important to understand that needs can change once you enter the postpartum period and you may need an army of support at home,” she said.
“My rule that I tell mom and dads when they verbalize they are feeling overwhelmed at the thought of all the guests once they return home is: ‘Anyone coming to visit once the baby is born comes with a cooked meal for new parents and does one chore in the house whether it’s folding laundry, holding the baby while mom takes a nap, does a grocery run, walks the dog, etc.’” It’s a great reminder for guests on how they can support the new growing family.
Bored Panda also wanted to get Holly’s opinion on what family and friends should keep in mind before going to visit a newborn. “Ideally, it’s safe to visit a healthy newborn if you are not experiencing any recent illness. That seems obvious to say, but you would be surprised how many people need the reminder,” the L&D nurse told us.
“Always wash your hands before handling a newborn and use a receiving blanket as a barrier between guests and the newborn. I don’t believe there is a specific day that deems it as the ‘PERFECT TIME’ to see a baby, however, I do believe that guests should be responsible enough to understand that a minor cough for an adult can be a hospital stay for a newborn.”
While we should always be open to helping out a relative or a friend if we feel close to them, we should also be aware of any attempts to take advantage of us. Healthy relationships, whether they’re familial, professional, or romantic, are about give-and-take. They’re supposed to be a two-way street: perhaps not perfectly balanced, but with clear benefits for both parties.
If it’s only one side that continually sacrifices their time, energy, and money, it’s very unfair to them. One way to recognize whether your relationship is healthy or just has the illusion of being so is to ask for a spot of help. If they continually find excuses not to help you out, while also expecting favors from you, you might have to rethink the entire relationship.
Similarly, many redditors from the AITA community were appalled that the author of the post, who deleted her account after the backlash, expected her own parents to spend an exorbitant amount of money on hotels and Airbnbs. Meanwhile, the house that she’s living in actually used to belong to them. They’d sold it to her for a below-market price with the condition that they could stay over when needed.
It feels… fundamentally wrong that you wouldn’t allow your parents to stay with you when you ask them for support. Yes, everyone needs privacy and the time to adjust to parenthood; clear boundaries have to be established. But you can’t treat your own parents like they’re disposable, summoning them like servants, and then expecting them to be happy with that.
Something that helps in these sorts of situations is trying to imagine yourself in that person’s position. We very much doubt that the OP would have enjoyed being treated the way that she dealt with her parents. Hopefully, by the time December rolls around and the redditor gives birth, she’ll have changed her mind. Perhaps, the AITA community helped her realize the mistake she’d made.
Here’s how people reacted to the post
My Mum came to stay with us for a couple of weeks after I had my second kid. She stayed in my house, with us which was great because honestly bedtimes and very early mornings were where I needed the most help. The poster is a first time mum who has idealised the first few weeks after giving birth based probably on the same crappy books I read. No, the first few weeks after a new born are absolute chaos you hope to survive. I deeply regretted not having my Mum here for my first born because some stupid books told us me and my husband needed time to bond. No I needed sleep and 3 pairs of arms. I bet the poster would be crying for her Mum at 3am when her baby won't stop crying after 5 hours, her nipples are cracked and she's bled through her maternity pad. Enjoy your baby!
This is an example of where you don't even have to ask. Not only is she an a*****e, she's an entitled a*****e. Glad her father put her in her place. Her poor baby though.
Load More Replies...
Good Lord, that is a major "Karen" in the making... "Yes, I gladly take the house well below market price and for this favor you are doing me, you'll have to please me in whatever way I want! Give me emotional support and clean my house and help with the baby whenever I want but also stay away from me whenever I want. And for this second favor you are doing me, you'll have to pay dearly as I am your entitled little s**t of a daughter." Jesus, just pay for a hotel, thankfully her partner has common sense.
Maybe if she was willing to cover the cost of staying elsewhere it wouldn’t have been so bad (though still kinda weird). But expecting her parents to come & help with their grandchild, yet telling them they aren’t welcome to stay under the same roof & expecting them to pull heaps of money out of their butts just to “give her space”?? That’s hurtful, disrespectful & selfish to boot. She’s lucky to have both her parents alive & well enough to be a part of her life. This new mother should realise that her parents won’t be around forever, so every moment spent with them should be cherished like the Crown Jewels! 🤨🤷♀️
Yeah I mean, I definitely understand the need to be alone after birth but you can't have it both ways. Its very rude to invite people and let them pay for a place to stay, even if they are your parents. I think best thing would to invite them after a few weeks on their own and maybe for one week instead of several weeks. (And yes, to stay in their home of course)
YTA.Sorry.Do u realise how much you are going to need your mother when your baby comes.You are going to realise the depth of the love she felt for you as a child and its going to wash over you as you love that first baby so intensely like you've never loved before.Also post partum depression is real,it's amazing having help right there in the house.There is an African proverb that says,it takes a village to raise a child...its so true. I HOPE you realise your mistake and apologise to your parents for your rudeness .
"Sell me your house well under market value and come help me for a few weeks. Oh, and I don't want you to stay here. Yeah, I know I said I'd let you and you kept your end of the deal, but I just want your help, I don't want *you* to stay here." This woman is an entitled and ungrateful jerk. She's treating her parents awfully bad.
YTA. dont invite someone if they cannot stay in your house AND even asking them for help why staying in a hotel for weeks? wtf have I just read
We did not want guests in our house after our first was born, so we did not have anyone. Although, we wanted help. So decision was made and we figured out all by ourselves. Now we have our own system, which is better for us. Still very appreciate, that grandparents are happy to help us, whenever is needed 🙂
She is definitely the AH in this situation. She wants help and then should have them come stay, she's being ridiculous asking them to pay for lodging when A they're there to help and B you already have the arrangements of them being able to stay there in exchange for buying the house cheap. She should be forced to handle the baby on her own in my opinion. F*****ck her all the way to the moon and back. Also, as an orphan, I'd kill to have parents like her. She's a selfish little brat.
Sweet mother of hades! I'm an only child...I get it they're always there for you and you often get what you want. Your parents did you a solid by selling you that house below market value. You agreed to let them stay. I'm pretty sure you didn't have a clause for abnormal times in your life. They're your parents have a bit of respect ffs! Ps being an only child really sucks when your parents get sick and can no longer care for themselves and you have to make all those tough decisions on your own...especially planning funeral arrangements
Setting all the rest aside, she doesn't realize she's going to want them there at all hours of the day and night. 2am scream-fest, you gonna call their airbnb wake them up, have them drive over? Girl no.
Where in the world do you think you are going to get alone time with a newborn? If I'd asked my parents to come stay with us after my son was born, they would have told me "Tough nuts...you gave birth to the kid, not us." I would have loved to have a third person to help me because, back when my son was born, fathers did not get paid maternity leave like they do now. I was on my own with a baby that never slept when we did and was later diagnosed with autism meaning he did not sleep through the night on his own until he was 6 years old. I was exhausted.
1. The deal is: The parents sold her their house for „cheap“ and in turn they can stay there for free whenever they want to. 2. She asked them for help. When you ask someone a favour, you arrange everything needed. In this case: Let them stay in your house (or pay for their hotel), pay or supply for all their needs during their stay (food, transport etc.). That‘s just common sense. Off topic: Imagine calling a babysitter and then telling them they need to watch the child somewhere else but the parent‘s house?!
It's reasonable to want to be alone when the baby arrives, but to expect someone to spend a lot of money on accomodation to come help you is not. Arrange the accomodation for them, pay for it and have them stay there. It's that simple.
is this b***h just stupid or just entitled, yes you are the a*****e, hey come over and help me but don't stay here and I'm not going to pay you or anything and so what if I inconvenience you so what you get to help me and be at my beckon call
I wish I had my parents help me each time I had a baby. I don't even have the room to accommodate but I would give up my own bed for that kind of help. Of course YTA and an entitled one at that. I have 5 babies and 0 support system. My parents don't even visit, let alone stay for a month to help. I would kill for that type of relationship.
“I believe Dan and I are going to need and want ALONE TIME to adjust to the baby.” Oh, the naivety.
You shouldn't be asking anyone for help. They didn't make that child in your belly YOU and your partner did. How much more time do YOU and your partner need alone you guys had enough time alone... You guys made a baby didn't you. Your parents are RETIRED. You need a baby sitter then hire one. SMFH
And in the first part she mentioned that they are RETIRED! She wants her own retired parents to shell out thousands of dollars to be her maid, babysitter and therapist AND to pay for the honor.
You are definitely an AH. They are your only support system it seems, and you treat your parents like that!
The parents can stay at your home while you and baby daddy pay for lodging, so you can have the "privacy" you demand. Give up the illusion of privacy, since once the baby arrives this will not happen for a minimum of eighteen years. Put on your big-girl pants and deal with the real world . . . your princess days are over.
The best option here would be to do something like hire an RV and park it on the drive. Then both couples get their own space (because granny and grampa will probably want some space at some point too!) but they are close enough to each other to be actual help. She should offer to pay for it. Staying in a hotel for an extended period of time is not only expensive, it's inconvenient and suffocating. Having a small kitchen, own bed space etc is much better. Get them an RV.
TYA! I totally agree with all the reasons I’ve read here. BUT are you having a C-section? If not, why do you need them for WEEKS of help? While it’s been quite a while since I gave birth, I was in the hospital for 2 nights, my mom stayed 2 nights, and then I did fine. I also think there’s a dad involved and he shares some responsibility here. But since you asked them to come for weeks and you also have an agreement that they can stay in the house when they want to, YOU SHOULD LET THEM STAY WITH YOU.
Don’t know how big or small their place is, but I think it’s pretty standard, normal or expected that the mom comes and stays with you to help out. Once again don’t know what the setup is, but it’s just not efficient with a newborn unless you’re literally available around the clock to help.
I understand wanting the help / support and the privacy at the same time. However, you made a deal that you should stick to. Moreover, I would never ask my parents to stay at a hotel when in town even if they had not given me a sweetheart deal on the house. Then again, my parents ( parent, my father passed in 2003 ) would never overstay her welcome and in all likelihood would get her own hotel if she thought my then wife or I would want our space in the very least. That said, she is very frugal in spite of her wealth. So, in the end, my mother would have accommodated us however my ex and I wanted it. Yet I imagine she would have felt disrespected although she would have never mentioned it to us. Every family is different. No judgement here. The baby is the focus.
I get the privacy thing especially for a person who is a private person and doesn't want her all to be shown to everyone. Birth just throws that all out the window. Since she is a first time mom she really has no clue how open she will be to the world during and after birth. She will be bleeding for weeks after. She will be nursing frequently. May even need to air dry her breasts to keep them from cracking or if any soreness is getting close to that. I understand not wanting dad and mom walking in on all the nitty gritty part of it. And we have no idea what personality her parents have. If her mom is the kind to try to take over everything and do things her way instead of the parents..I get it. Parents set the rules. Their house their baby. The grandparents should be on stand by to help when asked not take over. So we don't know what is really going on for her to make that request. That being said in a normal family dynamic they should be allowed to stay at the house. With boundaries.
First - Congratulations! Becoming a parent, whether it's your first or 4th time, is exciting and scary and new and anxiety-provoking. I am so impressed at your forethought about the possibility of needing your time together tp adjust to your new and bigger life. I can imagine myself in the same scenario. It sounds like you could talk through it more with your mum? Is it possible to sort it out so you have your own space and mum has her own space?
I want to give a massive shout out to all the women of the world, hey Ma, who gave birth to their babies and took care of them all by themselves. My gawd, all these women needing folks to come in and do the housekeeping, babysit, cook and shop for them. I guess I'm just old, 53, but my Mother, my Aunts, Grandmothers, etc...didn't have to have others come in and do all this for them when they had their babies. My mother would have me on her hip while she vacuumed. My sister on her hip while she did laundry, both of us while she shopped. I think a lot of folks would be in a real pickle if the s**t ever hit the fan cause ya'll couldn't do anything on your own. If you have to have help with a baby, Goddess must weep, you really should think twice about having them. Seriously. Soft. Folks are too soft. Soft and spoiled. What the hell does he fiancé need a break from? He didn't carry that baby or give birth, can't he help her? Just sad.
I get that she was in the wrong here and I agree with that but being a martyr in motherhood for the sake of it should stay in the past imo. I didn't have any relatives to help with my kids but I still don't believe think everyone should suck it up and suffer through just because they can. (Then there's that aspect of if you are breastfeeding you are still pretty much stuck with doing it yourself and taking care of all night shifts anyway so it might just be a bit unrealistic how much you can rest even if you have help (but that's when help with housework and changing diapers comes in)). I agree that the fiancé should absolutely not only "help" but share the load with what he can do (everything except breastfeeding... but that breastfeeding will be a majority of what needs to be done so...) but I don't think it hurts to have as much support as you want and need (and can get obviously).
Load More Replies... My Mum came to stay with us for a couple of weeks after I had my second kid. She stayed in my house, with us which was great because honestly bedtimes and very early mornings were where I needed the most help. The poster is a first time mum who has idealised the first few weeks after giving birth based probably on the same crappy books I read. No, the first few weeks after a new born are absolute chaos you hope to survive. I deeply regretted not having my Mum here for my first born because some stupid books told us me and my husband needed time to bond. No I needed sleep and 3 pairs of arms. I bet the poster would be crying for her Mum at 3am when her baby won't stop crying after 5 hours, her nipples are cracked and she's bled through her maternity pad. Enjoy your baby!
This is an example of where you don't even have to ask. Not only is she an a*****e, she's an entitled a*****e. Glad her father put her in her place. Her poor baby though.
Load More Replies... Good Lord, that is a major "Karen" in the making... "Yes, I gladly take the house well below market price and for this favor you are doing me, you'll have to please me in whatever way I want! Give me emotional support and clean my house and help with the baby whenever I want but also stay away from me whenever I want. And for this second favor you are doing me, you'll have to pay dearly as I am your entitled little s**t of a daughter." Jesus, just pay for a hotel, thankfully her partner has common sense.
Maybe if she was willing to cover the cost of staying elsewhere it wouldn’t have been so bad (though still kinda weird). But expecting her parents to come & help with their grandchild, yet telling them they aren’t welcome to stay under the same roof & expecting them to pull heaps of money out of their butts just to “give her space”?? That’s hurtful, disrespectful & selfish to boot. She’s lucky to have both her parents alive & well enough to be a part of her life. This new mother should realise that her parents won’t be around forever, so every moment spent with them should be cherished like the Crown Jewels! 🤨🤷♀️
Yeah I mean, I definitely understand the need to be alone after birth but you can't have it both ways. Its very rude to invite people and let them pay for a place to stay, even if they are your parents. I think best thing would to invite them after a few weeks on their own and maybe for one week instead of several weeks. (And yes, to stay in their home of course)
YTA.Sorry.Do u realise how much you are going to need your mother when your baby comes.You are going to realise the depth of the love she felt for you as a child and its going to wash over you as you love that first baby so intensely like you've never loved before.Also post partum depression is real,it's amazing having help right there in the house.There is an African proverb that says,it takes a village to raise a child...its so true. I HOPE you realise your mistake and apologise to your parents for your rudeness .
"Sell me your house well under market value and come help me for a few weeks. Oh, and I don't want you to stay here. Yeah, I know I said I'd let you and you kept your end of the deal, but I just want your help, I don't want *you* to stay here." This woman is an entitled and ungrateful jerk. She's treating her parents awfully bad.
YTA. dont invite someone if they cannot stay in your house AND even asking them for help why staying in a hotel for weeks? wtf have I just read
We did not want guests in our house after our first was born, so we did not have anyone. Although, we wanted help. So decision was made and we figured out all by ourselves. Now we have our own system, which is better for us. Still very appreciate, that grandparents are happy to help us, whenever is needed 🙂
She is definitely the AH in this situation. She wants help and then should have them come stay, she's being ridiculous asking them to pay for lodging when A they're there to help and B you already have the arrangements of them being able to stay there in exchange for buying the house cheap. She should be forced to handle the baby on her own in my opinion. F*****ck her all the way to the moon and back. Also, as an orphan, I'd kill to have parents like her. She's a selfish little brat.
Sweet mother of hades! I'm an only child...I get it they're always there for you and you often get what you want. Your parents did you a solid by selling you that house below market value. You agreed to let them stay. I'm pretty sure you didn't have a clause for abnormal times in your life. They're your parents have a bit of respect ffs! Ps being an only child really sucks when your parents get sick and can no longer care for themselves and you have to make all those tough decisions on your own...especially planning funeral arrangements
Setting all the rest aside, she doesn't realize she's going to want them there at all hours of the day and night. 2am scream-fest, you gonna call their airbnb wake them up, have them drive over? Girl no.
Where in the world do you think you are going to get alone time with a newborn? If I'd asked my parents to come stay with us after my son was born, they would have told me "Tough nuts...you gave birth to the kid, not us." I would have loved to have a third person to help me because, back when my son was born, fathers did not get paid maternity leave like they do now. I was on my own with a baby that never slept when we did and was later diagnosed with autism meaning he did not sleep through the night on his own until he was 6 years old. I was exhausted.
1. The deal is: The parents sold her their house for „cheap“ and in turn they can stay there for free whenever they want to. 2. She asked them for help. When you ask someone a favour, you arrange everything needed. In this case: Let them stay in your house (or pay for their hotel), pay or supply for all their needs during their stay (food, transport etc.). That‘s just common sense. Off topic: Imagine calling a babysitter and then telling them they need to watch the child somewhere else but the parent‘s house?!
It's reasonable to want to be alone when the baby arrives, but to expect someone to spend a lot of money on accomodation to come help you is not. Arrange the accomodation for them, pay for it and have them stay there. It's that simple.
is this b***h just stupid or just entitled, yes you are the a*****e, hey come over and help me but don't stay here and I'm not going to pay you or anything and so what if I inconvenience you so what you get to help me and be at my beckon call
I wish I had my parents help me each time I had a baby. I don't even have the room to accommodate but I would give up my own bed for that kind of help. Of course YTA and an entitled one at that. I have 5 babies and 0 support system. My parents don't even visit, let alone stay for a month to help. I would kill for that type of relationship.
“I believe Dan and I are going to need and want ALONE TIME to adjust to the baby.” Oh, the naivety.
You shouldn't be asking anyone for help. They didn't make that child in your belly YOU and your partner did. How much more time do YOU and your partner need alone you guys had enough time alone... You guys made a baby didn't you. Your parents are RETIRED. You need a baby sitter then hire one. SMFH
And in the first part she mentioned that they are RETIRED! She wants her own retired parents to shell out thousands of dollars to be her maid, babysitter and therapist AND to pay for the honor.
You are definitely an AH. They are your only support system it seems, and you treat your parents like that!
The parents can stay at your home while you and baby daddy pay for lodging, so you can have the "privacy" you demand. Give up the illusion of privacy, since once the baby arrives this will not happen for a minimum of eighteen years. Put on your big-girl pants and deal with the real world . . . your princess days are over.
The best option here would be to do something like hire an RV and park it on the drive. Then both couples get their own space (because granny and grampa will probably want some space at some point too!) but they are close enough to each other to be actual help. She should offer to pay for it. Staying in a hotel for an extended period of time is not only expensive, it's inconvenient and suffocating. Having a small kitchen, own bed space etc is much better. Get them an RV.
TYA! I totally agree with all the reasons I’ve read here. BUT are you having a C-section? If not, why do you need them for WEEKS of help? While it’s been quite a while since I gave birth, I was in the hospital for 2 nights, my mom stayed 2 nights, and then I did fine. I also think there’s a dad involved and he shares some responsibility here. But since you asked them to come for weeks and you also have an agreement that they can stay in the house when they want to, YOU SHOULD LET THEM STAY WITH YOU.
Don’t know how big or small their place is, but I think it’s pretty standard, normal or expected that the mom comes and stays with you to help out. Once again don’t know what the setup is, but it’s just not efficient with a newborn unless you’re literally available around the clock to help.
I understand wanting the help / support and the privacy at the same time. However, you made a deal that you should stick to. Moreover, I would never ask my parents to stay at a hotel when in town even if they had not given me a sweetheart deal on the house. Then again, my parents ( parent, my father passed in 2003 ) would never overstay her welcome and in all likelihood would get her own hotel if she thought my then wife or I would want our space in the very least. That said, she is very frugal in spite of her wealth. So, in the end, my mother would have accommodated us however my ex and I wanted it. Yet I imagine she would have felt disrespected although she would have never mentioned it to us. Every family is different. No judgement here. The baby is the focus.
I get the privacy thing especially for a person who is a private person and doesn't want her all to be shown to everyone. Birth just throws that all out the window. Since she is a first time mom she really has no clue how open she will be to the world during and after birth. She will be bleeding for weeks after. She will be nursing frequently. May even need to air dry her breasts to keep them from cracking or if any soreness is getting close to that. I understand not wanting dad and mom walking in on all the nitty gritty part of it. And we have no idea what personality her parents have. If her mom is the kind to try to take over everything and do things her way instead of the parents..I get it. Parents set the rules. Their house their baby. The grandparents should be on stand by to help when asked not take over. So we don't know what is really going on for her to make that request. That being said in a normal family dynamic they should be allowed to stay at the house. With boundaries.
First - Congratulations! Becoming a parent, whether it's your first or 4th time, is exciting and scary and new and anxiety-provoking. I am so impressed at your forethought about the possibility of needing your time together tp adjust to your new and bigger life. I can imagine myself in the same scenario. It sounds like you could talk through it more with your mum? Is it possible to sort it out so you have your own space and mum has her own space?
I want to give a massive shout out to all the women of the world, hey Ma, who gave birth to their babies and took care of them all by themselves. My gawd, all these women needing folks to come in and do the housekeeping, babysit, cook and shop for them. I guess I'm just old, 53, but my Mother, my Aunts, Grandmothers, etc...didn't have to have others come in and do all this for them when they had their babies. My mother would have me on her hip while she vacuumed. My sister on her hip while she did laundry, both of us while she shopped. I think a lot of folks would be in a real pickle if the s**t ever hit the fan cause ya'll couldn't do anything on your own. If you have to have help with a baby, Goddess must weep, you really should think twice about having them. Seriously. Soft. Folks are too soft. Soft and spoiled. What the hell does he fiancé need a break from? He didn't carry that baby or give birth, can't he help her? Just sad.
I get that she was in the wrong here and I agree with that but being a martyr in motherhood for the sake of it should stay in the past imo. I didn't have any relatives to help with my kids but I still don't believe think everyone should suck it up and suffer through just because they can. (Then there's that aspect of if you are breastfeeding you are still pretty much stuck with doing it yourself and taking care of all night shifts anyway so it might just be a bit unrealistic how much you can rest even if you have help (but that's when help with housework and changing diapers comes in)). I agree that the fiancé should absolutely not only "help" but share the load with what he can do (everything except breastfeeding... but that breastfeeding will be a majority of what needs to be done so...) but I don't think it hurts to have as much support as you want and need (and can get obviously).
Load More Replies...
91
49