“AITA For Telling My Neighbor To Get Over It When I Wake Her Baby Up?”
Having a kid around entails some tip-toeing. Mostly it’s on the parents’ side, but the neighbors are kinda expected to not shove branches into the wheels of a moving bicycle by making noise and disturbing the kid’s numerous naps and sleepy times throughout the day.
But we live in a noisy world and hearing things is simply unavoidable, so expectations have to be curbed to some extent. But not for this family, who decided that the neighbor can try even harder at not making noise, despite them already going above and beyond about, leading to an Am I The A-Hole story.
More Info: Reddit
Having a kid does mean tip-toeing so as to not wake them up, but the kid will have to learn to live with noise sooner or later
Image source: John Schuster (not the actual photo)
Reddit user u/MelodicStrategy1569 not too long ago shared a story of how they and their neighbor had a bit of a conflict regarding the noise that Melodic had been generating and waking the neighbors’ baby.
The story goes that Melodic’s neighbors had their baby recently, and Melodic decided that they ought to change some of their habits to accommodate for this change—if anything, out of respect and care for the new family member next door.
So, they did things like stop playing their drums past 6PM and even went ahead and installed some acoustic insulation in their “rumpus room”. A very nice gesture, especially since it was all their initiative.
This one family chose “later” and started pestering their neighbor for making too much noise, and the neighbor retaliated with “get over it”
Image source: MelodicStrategy1569
But, some noise was unavoidable, especially when the garage is just 3 meters away from the neighbor’s bedroom, where the kid rests. The main noise factors are the garage door, which beeps 4 times within a span of 20 seconds, and, according to OP, the noise is minimal; and their car, which OP called an “enthusiast’s” car—quite likely a sports car that is louder than most (they also mention the muffler is aftermarket).
Anywho, OP did make an effort to minimize the noise, but that turned out to not be enough for the family next door, as one Saturday, OP got to playing their drums at about lunch time in the insulated rumpus room, which turns out to be on the opposite end, meaning that the baby couldn’t possibly awaken from the minimal vibrations that the noise generates. But that was enough for the neighbors to come hollering.
OP did try to accommodate for the situation by installing acoustic insulation at home and adjusting their noise habits
Image source: MelodicStrategy1569
The buildup leading to this also included one time the neighbor parked their car a tad bit too close to OP’s house, meaning that they couldn’t park their car in their garage, meaning that they wouldn’t be opening the garage door, meaning they wouldn’t be waking the kid up. The car got towed. And this was also after they had talked about how parking outside is not an option for OP because of recent car thefts.
So, back to Saturday, the neighbor mom came over, saying she’d had enough of Melodic’s noise, and Melodic had had enough as well, leading to them saying “get over it”. The story soon appeared on r/AITA, asking folks who’s wrong here.
Alas, that didn’t help as the mom still went ballistic on them one Saturday
Image source: MelodicStrategy1569
And the AITA community ruled that OP’s not the jerk in this situation. Most agreed that they have been very reasonable with minimizing noise, doing more than what an average person would in this situation.
Others kept criticizing the neighbor parents for not teaching their newborn to sleep in a noisy setting and being overly sensitive about any noise. Sure, some babies can be more sensitive to noise than others, but it goes a long way if the baby develops a tolerance for noise early on.
It didn’t help the situation that the neighbor was a car enthusiast, but, oddly enough, the parents didn’t have a problem with the car itself
Image source: Chris Tina Bruce (not the actual photo)
Folks online ruled that OP was not a jerk, and in fact they went above and beyond in this situation
There was also a mom of an 8-month-old who ventured to guess that it’s not really the noise—if it’s already minimal and even dampened more by the neighboring walls—it might be the headlights that are actually causing a problem, so black-out curtains ought to do the trick. Oh, and a noise machine does wonders.
The post soon went viral, gaining nearly 16,000 upvotes and a handful of Reddit awards as of this article. You can take a look at the post and all of the responses in context here, and read other Am I The A-Hole stories we’ve covered here.
But before you do that, why not let us know your thoughts on who’s the jerk here in the comment section below!
My neighbors have a toddler. I have a garage full of power tools. When they first moved in, I asked a few times about when naptime and bedtime were. The mom laughed and said they had a white noise machine in the nursery that let the baby sleep through *everything* and she wasn't even worried about my squealy compound miter saw. This neighbor either needs to buy a 5-acre estate, or get the kid accustomed to sound. Upside: if the baby really is that sensitive to noise, you know there won't be a second one coming anytime soon...
Saw this story a while back, newborn was real cranky around 5. Mom did her best to give the best quiet time to get the baby to sleep. One evening she was so busy trying to get dinner ready and corral the older children. So she gave up and put the baby on the floor in the kitchen so she could finish. The baby went right to sleep and deeply too. She realized that was what the baby 'heard in the last weeks of the pregnancy. Having it TOO quiet was unsettling and most likely upsetting 'him' as to be not normal. Once the noise was around him, he relaxed, she thought. So keep the routine, normal sounds around, that may just what the baby needs to help them sleep better (not worst).
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As a parent, you're definitely NTA. It's actually encouraged by pediatricians that the baby's naptime be accompanied by things like running the dishwasher, washing machine, or vacuum or by playing music. They have to learn to nap through normal daytime noise. You were considerate enough to muffle extra noises like your drums (even childless adults would likely thank you!), but you shouldn't have felt obligated not to host your company outside (unless you regularly play very loud music); you should have the right to use your property as you see fit.
Exactly… tell you what .. I am a professional opera singer. Yeah it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, I know, but as part of my daily routine, I have to “ warm up” . Just up and down on vowels … you know, but it does get higher and higher until, as my sister once told me “ it sounds like your a*s is on fire”😝😂. It’s my JOB !you play drums … what if it was your job? Would she really expect you to stop playing / rehearsing ?
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Definitely NTA. It seems the neighbour might have become irrational due to lack of sleep. I know I'm much more patient and sane when I get a good night's sleep, than when I haven't slept well. It's one of the top reasons why I never wanted kids. If I didn't get any sleep for a long period of time, I might be driven to murder.
Sleep is on the top of my list as well- do not come between me and my bed.
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NTA she made the mistake on day one of trying to have it all quiet around baby. I found out from my first that this is just impossible. By time my second came around I went about everything normal ..baby got used to noises and was able to sleep through them. It’s one of the biggest mistakes new parents make.
There's always some people who you just can't please. They want everyone to make changes to accommodate their problems You did more than most people would to accommodate them. Parking in front of your driveway so you couldn't park in your garage is infuriating. I'm glad you had it towed. The baby isn't being kept up by you. Maybe if they shut their windows, used black out curtains and used white noise machine, the baby would sleep.
I question parts of this story. Wouldn't they have come out if their car was being towed right away? I mean, that's not quiet either...
I cannot believe that someone who admits that they have a loader-than-original aftermarket exhaust on their car is actually considerate of noise. He says it’s not that much louder, but now I just can’t believe anything he says.
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Definitely NTA. Yes newborns should learn to sleep with some noise but when I was born my mom would vacuum in the hallway and eventually in my room during my nap time to get me to sleep with noise but now I can’t sleep without noise and I can rarely even sit without noise as it immensely hurts my head and my ears.
You, too!!! Give me a movie, storm sounds, electric fan, the farm next door & about 20 windchimes on my side of the house. Yup!! I need noise to wipe out the anxiety/PTSD-filled noggin...
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She sleeps with her window open. So this could be solved by her closing her window. This guy went above and beyond to appease these people. Life doesnt revolve around her and her child. Live your life. She will have to figure it out.
My downstairs neighbors have a drum set for their 5 year old. Kind of a jerk move in an apartment complex. I like them better than the previous people whose 15 year old stayed up every night between 12am and 2 yelling racial slurs into his headsets while playing fortnite though. As someone who had a baby/Toddler who was easily woken by EVERYTHING I can sympathize with the mom just because it does make you crazy. I was sleep deprived for about 3 years straight and I tried all the noise machines, apps, shushing machines. I think it's pretty sweet that the neighbor has modified their social hours and done sound proofing though. Hopefully the baby either settles or they do get a sound machine.
This honestly makes me laugh. As a baby I'd sleep like a rock at grandmas, despite the fact the neighbors were running their tractors and other farm equipment up and down the road which went right by the room I slept in. Now both of my cousin's babies sleep in that room just like I did, not giving a flying c**p about the farm equipment. Babies can get accustomed to noise.
NTA. I get it. Babies are picky, fussy, and insanely hard to put to sleep, but OP was considerate enough to soundproof, refuse guests, and even cut back on his hobby. Lack of sleep was definitely a factor in this or maybe just having to deal with taking care of a new kid
The room they have the kid in may be too quiet. Some kids sleep better with a bit of white noise. But don't be too angry with the lady. She may not have slept in weeks, and no one is at their best when they don't sleep.
The child needs to get used to extraneous noise. I used to vacuum round the cots, flush the toilet as normal and play the tv and stereo at normal levels.
My sister used to put horror or action movies on the TV when my niece was born, because they frequently switch from really quiet to really loud, so my niece would get used to sleeping through all sorts of noise. That kid could sleep through anything.
Maybe it's the mum who's taking a nap while the baby is sleeping? Babies sleep through noise, mum perhaps not. What adjustments did that family make? Like blackout curtains, a bed on the other side of the house, earplugs, windows closed, sound insulation? Nothing? I sometimes took my bad sleeper in the car for a ride, or a stroll through the neighbourhood, works like a charm. The neighbour doesn't need to accomodate the mum and baby.
NTA. In fact from my cousin who had a baby 8 months ago she said that it's actually important for babies to be around noise from the very beginning, because they need to get used to it. Once they're use to all kinds of noise, they can sleep through anything. What the neighbor is doing by making things too quiet is actually not beneficial for the baby. She and her husband are just making it harder for the baby to deal with noise and sleep when it's better to be use to it.
The title alone I would say yta but now that I read it nta because your doing all these things to make as little noise as possible and the neighborhood just are complaining.
Another perfect example of an OUTRAGEOUS SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT!I hope this couple reads ALL of these in support of you! Bottom line? New mom is exhausted … she’s bloody lucky she doesn’t have to do THAT AND A FULL DAYS WORK or a split shift like millions of other women. Then her own car would be waking the baby up. She was completely shocked by what it is to have an infant . Not alone lady; but it has ZERO to do with your lovely neighbours enjoying their own hard earned property and toys. GET OVER IT !
I train my daughter to sleep with the noise. We keep our TV loud enough so she does not easily wake up. I hate that I am a light sleeper and I dont want my kids loke that
When my youngest grandson was just a few months old while he was at home and with me when he took a nap I put his portable bassinet right in front of the TV in my bedroom he always slept like a hibernating bear. After just a week or two he could sleep through anything and still can. People like LW's neighbor are idiots that think the world revolves around her and her little snowflake.
NTA. The only input I have that I have not yet seen is I taught my son to sleep with loud noises. When he was 5 I tried setting off a smoke detector in the middle of the night to see what would happen, and he didn't move a muscle, forget actually waking up. Now he is almost 13 and it honestly frightens me how heavy of a sleeper he is. Sometimes having some noise sensitivity is a good thing, but seriously, this is so not OP's responsibility!
My 10 month old has been sleeping with noise since day 1. Personally I think it's best to teach them young so when they sleep you can get stuff like work, chores, and other things done. They'll also be able to sleep through noises later in life (like college parties, noises if they work late nights, etc )
You've done your best and more than most. Sadly, neighbors are always a roll of the dice. You've already made very reasonable accommodations on their behalf. Live your life, have a few friends over.
Do people really need to ask? He did what he can to accommodate them, that's it. If they cannot live with it then too bad.
I refused from birth to do the ssshhh babies sleeping noise abatement thing because the world is full of noise so you end up making a rod for your own back.
We are a loud family. When my children were babies, we kept the same noise level and my children learned to sleep through it.
I'm more than catty enough to have lost my temper with that woman by that point, I'm really impressed with this guy. I'd have offered to keep her baby in my trunk, and pointed out the soundproofing in there is absolutely amazing.
I am sure Shitshiner69 has the answer. I have been forced to install blackout curtains in my bedroom because of headlights, but sleep with open windows most of the year because it is not the noise, that is my problem. Probably the same with their baby. But why dont they just simply close the window if they believe it is the noise that wakes up their baby?
My great niece used to take naps in the living room with the tv on and her older five year old sister outside playing and shouting with windows open in warm weather and sometimes the dishwasher would be running, she slept fine.
I NEVER tiptoe around my kids at native. They've never had ANY trouble sleeping!!!
I have 4 kids. None of them have sleep problems and we live on a fairly busy street with lots of noise and some super loud and obnoxious neighbors who have no consideration for anyone, and exhausts that make yours seem pleasant. My kids sleep through everything, and I have never used a white noise machine, blackout curtains, noise dampeners... And Never have I asked my neighbors to be "considerate" of Any of my kids sleeping habits... To be honest, I turn on the dishwasher, the washing machine and dryer, I vacuum through my kids sleeping, television, stereo, my own musical instruments playing... Her kids sleeping is not the issue, I promise you that... It's her need for sleep. New moms are sensitive to EVERYTHING, Noise, Light... The pregnant female brain is rewired to wake at even the slightest changes in EVERYTHING. I have Always solved that problem by asking family and friends to sit with my kids while they are sleeping. Newborns ONLY need 14 hours of sleep. I have even resorted...
To hiring babysitters, just so I can rest and not stress about if my baby(ies) are okay... Point is, her child is an excuse... Not what's really going on... Most likely. New mom problems.
Load More Replies... You should get your baby used to noise from day one! A white noise machine helps.
NTA. You went way beyond what you needed to do. It's time for the parents to step up and try to solve their own problems and stop trying to make you change your life around. Did they not know before having a baby that. 1. Babies wake up during the day. 2. Babies cry when they wake up. If she thinks your making to much noise why doesn't she get one of those cribs with wheels. That way she can place the baby in the room farthest away from your house during the day and at night she can wheel the baby back to which ever room the baby usually sleeps in at night.
Some people think the world revolves around their child. It did not. OP did way above & beyond to accommodate the little one. They can get a white noise machine & figure it out.
This is absurd. When my kids where little i put them upstairs in their own rooms to nap or at bedtime. There where only certain people who would purposely do things to wake them- neighbors who dss took their kid away lol. Everyone's normal life like garages or whatever coming n going didn't bother them because it was normal life I could even entertain friends and family downstairs and theyd sleep through. A baby will sleep through reg everyday life noises long as they feel safe loved and comfortable. If they don't you need to re examine why they don't and not blame neighbors for coming and going to work or out or wherever.
This is exactly why experienced parents tell the new ones to not change your normal activities/volumes in the house. That way the baby gets used to the sounds and can sleep right through them. We never did the "shh the baby is sleeping" thing in our house. Esp with our 3rd when my boys were 18 mos and 36 months. My daughter slept through all the toys, wiggles songs on TV, and temper tantrums.
Strictly NTA situation, I would never have gone through all that just to accommodate a neighbor's kid. And I know it's not the US, but in the US the general rule about noise nuisance is that if there is an exceptional sensitivity...tough toots, the nuisance case is automatically thrown out.
NTA, but you could have been kinder with your language when you said get over it. But I understand your frustrations and the sentiment. You have received some ideas. Perhaps you could talk to your neighbor and apologize for your tone of voice and offer up these suggestions. If you haven't already done so, let her know about the tests you have done about the decibel levels. As others have said, she can't expect the world to be quiet just because she has a baby. There are plenty of neighborhood noises that people have to accept. Garbage trucks, general traffic, emergency vehicles, worker noises and their associated vehicles, lawn mowing, etc. Is she going to tell the whole world to be quiet? I get migraines sometimes so what I do is use a fan and blackout curtains. Life goes on regardless of how I feel.
Here's the deal. Mom already said what the problem was and it's not you! Read again what it says. "Mom is exhausted from baby not sleeping" and goes on to blame neighbor. However, the truth is, Mom is severely sleep deprived, slightly deranged (as all us new moms are/were,) and is not only being slightly irrational but also looking for someone to blame. She can't blame baby, she would feel guilty and like a bad mom. But if she blames neighbors, then it's not baby is a difficult sleeper or she sucks at getting him to sleep, it's someone/things fault and thus out of her control and not her fault. I bet a gift certificate to a spa, or maybe offer to babysit so mom and dad can go get coffee would go a long way to deescalating the situation and help mom to see it's not really neighbor, it's just the joys of having a newborn! Lol.
With the intention to block someone else's s**t on their own property.
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Am I the only one who knows they still make clock radios that are cheaper than noise machines and also serve a double purpose later on? I would hope my neighbors laughed in my face if I went asking them to change their lives to accommodate my choices.
NTA... Your neighbor needs to teach the kid to sleep through noise. Your neighbor also needs to learn that the world does not love her not love her child as much as she does. The rest of us don't think her kid is the be all and end all of the universe..
That mama would absolutely HATE living next to me. My garage door is ancient, and when I hit the button, it starts with a bang, then grinds up and over like a chainsaw. LOL! Fortunately for my neighbours, I tend to keep my car in the driveway.
Maybe those neighbours should have thought about having a baby a little more carefully, when they live in such a loud, noisy neighbourhood /s
I grew up in a house where there was complete silence when I slept. As an adult, I suffer. A little noise won't hurt anyone.
a simple fan running in the room does the trick. Honestly, can they watch tv once the baby goes to sleep?
That photo accompanying this item is a riot, is it my imagination or is that cat in a tutu while "guarding" the sleeping babies?!?
With each of my 2 kids were born, they got used to, daytime noise and nighttime noise. I ran the vacuum during the time they were napping and when they weren't. I made sure my kids got used to all the noises of daily life. Both slept like logs day and night. I didn't turn the TV down. I left it at the level we were used to. We didn't talk in whispers. We talked in normal tones. They will have one hell of a time if they don't teach their child/children this when the kid is young. The man who has bent over backwards needs to stop try to pacify these crazy people and live his normal life. He is NTA. The next-door neighbor is TAH.
How can they not know about white noise machines for babies? Or what about playing soft music? I used to do both. They are setting themselves up for failure if their baby can only sleep in complete silence. That's ridiculous. I bet the baby is fussy for some other reason (colic, teething?) and they are just blaming it on the neighbor out of stress. The world is noisy and there are billions of babies who sleep just fine - imagine if they lived in the middle of NYC or something? Would they chase down every taxi honking its horn? (Which would actually be a full time job, LOL!)
I run a daycare on a main street where the children nap for two hours in the afternoon. They are still asleep when the highschool up the street lets out. There are people mowing their lawns, sometimes doing heavier construction on their homes, the cars are revving up INSANELY loud in the street, and they sleep. They also sleep with the blinds open (sunlight pouring in) AND the windows open sometimes (fresh air). Get the kid used to it, the world is noisy. It's also loud as heck sometimes at night, due to inconsiderate drivers, we all survive somehow.
NTA. As a person who lived over a garage for busses including the washing area, I couldn't tell the drivers not to wash the busses at 2 or 3 in the morning. Our son was used to that. What he didn't get used to was the boss of the company who lived next door smashing his door several times a night. Or his Italian mechanic yelling around in the kitchen next to the kid's room. So i would have loved to have such a considered neighbor. Needless to say, after moving to a new flat our son sleeps through the night. He's 3 years old 😐
baby not sleeping is totally something else. If she was prego while living there baby was already listening to noices around, once born baby should already be aware of the noice... on the other hand, if you take the noice away all the sudden once born... maybe baby actually misses the noice.
I used to fall asleep at loud filipino family parties as a kid, my parents trained me to sleep through the noise. I can sleep anywhere now. I think having a silent home cuz a baby/toddler is sleeping is so weird and miserable. Get a white noise machine or play some music for the kiddo.
When my son was an infant we lived in a small house, with a driveway that separated our place from another young family's house. My son's bedroom was the room beside the driveway. The dad had a Harley and everyday midday he rolled it out into the driveway and started it up. Harley's are LOUD! They were a nice couple though, with a baby my son's age, so I never said anything. I thought eventually my son would become accustomed to the noise. He did.
NTA. If your neighbors are within the municipal ordinance regarding noise, you have no right to complain. I used to vacuum while my infant daughter was napping so she'd get used to sleeping amongst the noises of normal daily life. My mom did the same. Decades later, we can both sleep through anything except our dogs barking (because it means something isn't right).
I think she is suffering postpartum depression. It bring lots of anxiety.
Definitely NTA! So many people try to make a silent environment for their kids, you are just making things extremely difficult for the child and yourself. Kids need to learn how to function in a normal world, and there will be noises wherever you live. Where I live kids usually sleep outside during the day so they do get exposed to "natural sounds" and it's usually not a problem.
Babies know the sounds around them.. they can hear in the voom... why do parents think that a baby can't sleep when there is normal noice?! It is SO MISUNDERSTOOD... Baby doesn't wake up because of noise... baby wakes up because it is left alone... The world is big outside the safe voom... Baby needs mom and dad to sleep! Not silence... Sorry. It is misunderstood.. - midwife with 30+ years of experience...
My youngest would fall asleep to Guns & Roses when she was a toddler.
Dagnabbit, everyone's a critic! LOL. (Full disclosure: I find action movies somewhat dull)
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ALL my 4 kids were brought home,and lived with washing machine and music daily, and ALL slept through from 4weeks. my eldest Daughter also fell asleep in the back of an old landrover...and if you have ever been in one you know they are like a giant tin box full of bolts!!
Kids really are capable of falling asleep in the most extraordinary places!
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Here is an idea: I will take that Viper off his hands until the kid next door grows up, say, for the next 16 years. That should take care of the problem right there and I get to do a good deed!
YTA for having an exhaust that makes more noise than necessary. The rest is fine.
I like how someone called them out on it and asked whether there was a reason for it other than annoying people, and the only response was "it's not too loud." I'm really sensitive to deep sounds and automatically hate anyone who drives a loud car or motorcycle intentionally.
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The neighbor is TA for expecting you (or anyone) to alter your lifestyle to accommodate her hellspawn.
The problems of the sleep deprived are severe - try talking to her when she is in a better mood, and try to lose the attitude - the fact that she has to let you park inside doesn't mean you have to antagonize her about it. Talking and reaching a compromise is worth more than anything with neighboors
I think you're confused on who is doing the antagonizing here. I vote for the party intentionally blocking driveways and other nonsense against a neighbor who has already made many accommodations.
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Like I always say “here we are again”. Stupid a*s questions that we all know the answers to. AITA is getting played the f**k out. I punched a baby because she cried during my lunchtime. AITA.
The woman is probably more sensitive than the kid. Kids get used to sleeping with all kinds of noise. We used to have fun seeing how much our daughter could sleep through after a while, dogs, cats, stuff being dropped, kitchen noises, washing machines at night, the park right under our balcony, sirens, just regular city living noises. We don't live in a bubble, can't expect everyone around us to stop doing everything just because we had a baby.
My neighbors have a toddler. I have a garage full of power tools. When they first moved in, I asked a few times about when naptime and bedtime were. The mom laughed and said they had a white noise machine in the nursery that let the baby sleep through *everything* and she wasn't even worried about my squealy compound miter saw. This neighbor either needs to buy a 5-acre estate, or get the kid accustomed to sound. Upside: if the baby really is that sensitive to noise, you know there won't be a second one coming anytime soon...
Saw this story a while back, newborn was real cranky around 5. Mom did her best to give the best quiet time to get the baby to sleep. One evening she was so busy trying to get dinner ready and corral the older children. So she gave up and put the baby on the floor in the kitchen so she could finish. The baby went right to sleep and deeply too. She realized that was what the baby 'heard in the last weeks of the pregnancy. Having it TOO quiet was unsettling and most likely upsetting 'him' as to be not normal. Once the noise was around him, he relaxed, she thought. So keep the routine, normal sounds around, that may just what the baby needs to help them sleep better (not worst).
Load More Replies... As a parent, you're definitely NTA. It's actually encouraged by pediatricians that the baby's naptime be accompanied by things like running the dishwasher, washing machine, or vacuum or by playing music. They have to learn to nap through normal daytime noise. You were considerate enough to muffle extra noises like your drums (even childless adults would likely thank you!), but you shouldn't have felt obligated not to host your company outside (unless you regularly play very loud music); you should have the right to use your property as you see fit.
Exactly… tell you what .. I am a professional opera singer. Yeah it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, I know, but as part of my daily routine, I have to “ warm up” . Just up and down on vowels … you know, but it does get higher and higher until, as my sister once told me “ it sounds like your a*s is on fire”😝😂. It’s my JOB !you play drums … what if it was your job? Would she really expect you to stop playing / rehearsing ?
Load More Replies... Definitely NTA. It seems the neighbour might have become irrational due to lack of sleep. I know I'm much more patient and sane when I get a good night's sleep, than when I haven't slept well. It's one of the top reasons why I never wanted kids. If I didn't get any sleep for a long period of time, I might be driven to murder.
Sleep is on the top of my list as well- do not come between me and my bed.
Load More Replies... NTA she made the mistake on day one of trying to have it all quiet around baby. I found out from my first that this is just impossible. By time my second came around I went about everything normal ..baby got used to noises and was able to sleep through them. It’s one of the biggest mistakes new parents make.
There's always some people who you just can't please. They want everyone to make changes to accommodate their problems You did more than most people would to accommodate them. Parking in front of your driveway so you couldn't park in your garage is infuriating. I'm glad you had it towed. The baby isn't being kept up by you. Maybe if they shut their windows, used black out curtains and used white noise machine, the baby would sleep.
I question parts of this story. Wouldn't they have come out if their car was being towed right away? I mean, that's not quiet either...
I cannot believe that someone who admits that they have a loader-than-original aftermarket exhaust on their car is actually considerate of noise. He says it’s not that much louder, but now I just can’t believe anything he says.
Load More Replies... Definitely NTA. Yes newborns should learn to sleep with some noise but when I was born my mom would vacuum in the hallway and eventually in my room during my nap time to get me to sleep with noise but now I can’t sleep without noise and I can rarely even sit without noise as it immensely hurts my head and my ears.
You, too!!! Give me a movie, storm sounds, electric fan, the farm next door & about 20 windchimes on my side of the house. Yup!! I need noise to wipe out the anxiety/PTSD-filled noggin...
Load More Replies... She sleeps with her window open. So this could be solved by her closing her window. This guy went above and beyond to appease these people. Life doesnt revolve around her and her child. Live your life. She will have to figure it out.
My downstairs neighbors have a drum set for their 5 year old. Kind of a jerk move in an apartment complex. I like them better than the previous people whose 15 year old stayed up every night between 12am and 2 yelling racial slurs into his headsets while playing fortnite though. As someone who had a baby/Toddler who was easily woken by EVERYTHING I can sympathize with the mom just because it does make you crazy. I was sleep deprived for about 3 years straight and I tried all the noise machines, apps, shushing machines. I think it's pretty sweet that the neighbor has modified their social hours and done sound proofing though. Hopefully the baby either settles or they do get a sound machine.
This honestly makes me laugh. As a baby I'd sleep like a rock at grandmas, despite the fact the neighbors were running their tractors and other farm equipment up and down the road which went right by the room I slept in. Now both of my cousin's babies sleep in that room just like I did, not giving a flying c**p about the farm equipment. Babies can get accustomed to noise.
NTA. I get it. Babies are picky, fussy, and insanely hard to put to sleep, but OP was considerate enough to soundproof, refuse guests, and even cut back on his hobby. Lack of sleep was definitely a factor in this or maybe just having to deal with taking care of a new kid
The room they have the kid in may be too quiet. Some kids sleep better with a bit of white noise. But don't be too angry with the lady. She may not have slept in weeks, and no one is at their best when they don't sleep.
The child needs to get used to extraneous noise. I used to vacuum round the cots, flush the toilet as normal and play the tv and stereo at normal levels.
My sister used to put horror or action movies on the TV when my niece was born, because they frequently switch from really quiet to really loud, so my niece would get used to sleeping through all sorts of noise. That kid could sleep through anything.
Maybe it's the mum who's taking a nap while the baby is sleeping? Babies sleep through noise, mum perhaps not. What adjustments did that family make? Like blackout curtains, a bed on the other side of the house, earplugs, windows closed, sound insulation? Nothing? I sometimes took my bad sleeper in the car for a ride, or a stroll through the neighbourhood, works like a charm. The neighbour doesn't need to accomodate the mum and baby.
NTA. In fact from my cousin who had a baby 8 months ago she said that it's actually important for babies to be around noise from the very beginning, because they need to get used to it. Once they're use to all kinds of noise, they can sleep through anything. What the neighbor is doing by making things too quiet is actually not beneficial for the baby. She and her husband are just making it harder for the baby to deal with noise and sleep when it's better to be use to it.
The title alone I would say yta but now that I read it nta because your doing all these things to make as little noise as possible and the neighborhood just are complaining.
Another perfect example of an OUTRAGEOUS SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT!I hope this couple reads ALL of these in support of you! Bottom line? New mom is exhausted … she’s bloody lucky she doesn’t have to do THAT AND A FULL DAYS WORK or a split shift like millions of other women. Then her own car would be waking the baby up. She was completely shocked by what it is to have an infant . Not alone lady; but it has ZERO to do with your lovely neighbours enjoying their own hard earned property and toys. GET OVER IT !
I train my daughter to sleep with the noise. We keep our TV loud enough so she does not easily wake up. I hate that I am a light sleeper and I dont want my kids loke that
When my youngest grandson was just a few months old while he was at home and with me when he took a nap I put his portable bassinet right in front of the TV in my bedroom he always slept like a hibernating bear. After just a week or two he could sleep through anything and still can. People like LW's neighbor are idiots that think the world revolves around her and her little snowflake.
NTA. The only input I have that I have not yet seen is I taught my son to sleep with loud noises. When he was 5 I tried setting off a smoke detector in the middle of the night to see what would happen, and he didn't move a muscle, forget actually waking up. Now he is almost 13 and it honestly frightens me how heavy of a sleeper he is. Sometimes having some noise sensitivity is a good thing, but seriously, this is so not OP's responsibility!
My 10 month old has been sleeping with noise since day 1. Personally I think it's best to teach them young so when they sleep you can get stuff like work, chores, and other things done. They'll also be able to sleep through noises later in life (like college parties, noises if they work late nights, etc )
You've done your best and more than most. Sadly, neighbors are always a roll of the dice. You've already made very reasonable accommodations on their behalf. Live your life, have a few friends over.
Do people really need to ask? He did what he can to accommodate them, that's it. If they cannot live with it then too bad.
I refused from birth to do the ssshhh babies sleeping noise abatement thing because the world is full of noise so you end up making a rod for your own back.
We are a loud family. When my children were babies, we kept the same noise level and my children learned to sleep through it.
I'm more than catty enough to have lost my temper with that woman by that point, I'm really impressed with this guy. I'd have offered to keep her baby in my trunk, and pointed out the soundproofing in there is absolutely amazing.
I am sure Shitshiner69 has the answer. I have been forced to install blackout curtains in my bedroom because of headlights, but sleep with open windows most of the year because it is not the noise, that is my problem. Probably the same with their baby. But why dont they just simply close the window if they believe it is the noise that wakes up their baby?
My great niece used to take naps in the living room with the tv on and her older five year old sister outside playing and shouting with windows open in warm weather and sometimes the dishwasher would be running, she slept fine.
I NEVER tiptoe around my kids at native. They've never had ANY trouble sleeping!!!
I have 4 kids. None of them have sleep problems and we live on a fairly busy street with lots of noise and some super loud and obnoxious neighbors who have no consideration for anyone, and exhausts that make yours seem pleasant. My kids sleep through everything, and I have never used a white noise machine, blackout curtains, noise dampeners... And Never have I asked my neighbors to be "considerate" of Any of my kids sleeping habits... To be honest, I turn on the dishwasher, the washing machine and dryer, I vacuum through my kids sleeping, television, stereo, my own musical instruments playing... Her kids sleeping is not the issue, I promise you that... It's her need for sleep. New moms are sensitive to EVERYTHING, Noise, Light... The pregnant female brain is rewired to wake at even the slightest changes in EVERYTHING. I have Always solved that problem by asking family and friends to sit with my kids while they are sleeping. Newborns ONLY need 14 hours of sleep. I have even resorted...
To hiring babysitters, just so I can rest and not stress about if my baby(ies) are okay... Point is, her child is an excuse... Not what's really going on... Most likely. New mom problems.
Load More Replies... You should get your baby used to noise from day one! A white noise machine helps.
NTA. You went way beyond what you needed to do. It's time for the parents to step up and try to solve their own problems and stop trying to make you change your life around. Did they not know before having a baby that. 1. Babies wake up during the day. 2. Babies cry when they wake up. If she thinks your making to much noise why doesn't she get one of those cribs with wheels. That way she can place the baby in the room farthest away from your house during the day and at night she can wheel the baby back to which ever room the baby usually sleeps in at night.
Some people think the world revolves around their child. It did not. OP did way above & beyond to accommodate the little one. They can get a white noise machine & figure it out.
This is absurd. When my kids where little i put them upstairs in their own rooms to nap or at bedtime. There where only certain people who would purposely do things to wake them- neighbors who dss took their kid away lol. Everyone's normal life like garages or whatever coming n going didn't bother them because it was normal life I could even entertain friends and family downstairs and theyd sleep through. A baby will sleep through reg everyday life noises long as they feel safe loved and comfortable. If they don't you need to re examine why they don't and not blame neighbors for coming and going to work or out or wherever.
This is exactly why experienced parents tell the new ones to not change your normal activities/volumes in the house. That way the baby gets used to the sounds and can sleep right through them. We never did the "shh the baby is sleeping" thing in our house. Esp with our 3rd when my boys were 18 mos and 36 months. My daughter slept through all the toys, wiggles songs on TV, and temper tantrums.
Strictly NTA situation, I would never have gone through all that just to accommodate a neighbor's kid. And I know it's not the US, but in the US the general rule about noise nuisance is that if there is an exceptional sensitivity...tough toots, the nuisance case is automatically thrown out.
NTA, but you could have been kinder with your language when you said get over it. But I understand your frustrations and the sentiment. You have received some ideas. Perhaps you could talk to your neighbor and apologize for your tone of voice and offer up these suggestions. If you haven't already done so, let her know about the tests you have done about the decibel levels. As others have said, she can't expect the world to be quiet just because she has a baby. There are plenty of neighborhood noises that people have to accept. Garbage trucks, general traffic, emergency vehicles, worker noises and their associated vehicles, lawn mowing, etc. Is she going to tell the whole world to be quiet? I get migraines sometimes so what I do is use a fan and blackout curtains. Life goes on regardless of how I feel.
Here's the deal. Mom already said what the problem was and it's not you! Read again what it says. "Mom is exhausted from baby not sleeping" and goes on to blame neighbor. However, the truth is, Mom is severely sleep deprived, slightly deranged (as all us new moms are/were,) and is not only being slightly irrational but also looking for someone to blame. She can't blame baby, she would feel guilty and like a bad mom. But if she blames neighbors, then it's not baby is a difficult sleeper or she sucks at getting him to sleep, it's someone/things fault and thus out of her control and not her fault. I bet a gift certificate to a spa, or maybe offer to babysit so mom and dad can go get coffee would go a long way to deescalating the situation and help mom to see it's not really neighbor, it's just the joys of having a newborn! Lol.
With the intention to block someone else's s**t on their own property.
Load More Replies... Am I the only one who knows they still make clock radios that are cheaper than noise machines and also serve a double purpose later on? I would hope my neighbors laughed in my face if I went asking them to change their lives to accommodate my choices.
NTA... Your neighbor needs to teach the kid to sleep through noise. Your neighbor also needs to learn that the world does not love her not love her child as much as she does. The rest of us don't think her kid is the be all and end all of the universe..
That mama would absolutely HATE living next to me. My garage door is ancient, and when I hit the button, it starts with a bang, then grinds up and over like a chainsaw. LOL! Fortunately for my neighbours, I tend to keep my car in the driveway.
Maybe those neighbours should have thought about having a baby a little more carefully, when they live in such a loud, noisy neighbourhood /s
I grew up in a house where there was complete silence when I slept. As an adult, I suffer. A little noise won't hurt anyone.
a simple fan running in the room does the trick. Honestly, can they watch tv once the baby goes to sleep?
That photo accompanying this item is a riot, is it my imagination or is that cat in a tutu while "guarding" the sleeping babies?!?
With each of my 2 kids were born, they got used to, daytime noise and nighttime noise. I ran the vacuum during the time they were napping and when they weren't. I made sure my kids got used to all the noises of daily life. Both slept like logs day and night. I didn't turn the TV down. I left it at the level we were used to. We didn't talk in whispers. We talked in normal tones. They will have one hell of a time if they don't teach their child/children this when the kid is young. The man who has bent over backwards needs to stop try to pacify these crazy people and live his normal life. He is NTA. The next-door neighbor is TAH.
How can they not know about white noise machines for babies? Or what about playing soft music? I used to do both. They are setting themselves up for failure if their baby can only sleep in complete silence. That's ridiculous. I bet the baby is fussy for some other reason (colic, teething?) and they are just blaming it on the neighbor out of stress. The world is noisy and there are billions of babies who sleep just fine - imagine if they lived in the middle of NYC or something? Would they chase down every taxi honking its horn? (Which would actually be a full time job, LOL!)
I run a daycare on a main street where the children nap for two hours in the afternoon. They are still asleep when the highschool up the street lets out. There are people mowing their lawns, sometimes doing heavier construction on their homes, the cars are revving up INSANELY loud in the street, and they sleep. They also sleep with the blinds open (sunlight pouring in) AND the windows open sometimes (fresh air). Get the kid used to it, the world is noisy. It's also loud as heck sometimes at night, due to inconsiderate drivers, we all survive somehow.
NTA. As a person who lived over a garage for busses including the washing area, I couldn't tell the drivers not to wash the busses at 2 or 3 in the morning. Our son was used to that. What he didn't get used to was the boss of the company who lived next door smashing his door several times a night. Or his Italian mechanic yelling around in the kitchen next to the kid's room. So i would have loved to have such a considered neighbor. Needless to say, after moving to a new flat our son sleeps through the night. He's 3 years old 😐
baby not sleeping is totally something else. If she was prego while living there baby was already listening to noices around, once born baby should already be aware of the noice... on the other hand, if you take the noice away all the sudden once born... maybe baby actually misses the noice.
I used to fall asleep at loud filipino family parties as a kid, my parents trained me to sleep through the noise. I can sleep anywhere now. I think having a silent home cuz a baby/toddler is sleeping is so weird and miserable. Get a white noise machine or play some music for the kiddo.
When my son was an infant we lived in a small house, with a driveway that separated our place from another young family's house. My son's bedroom was the room beside the driveway. The dad had a Harley and everyday midday he rolled it out into the driveway and started it up. Harley's are LOUD! They were a nice couple though, with a baby my son's age, so I never said anything. I thought eventually my son would become accustomed to the noise. He did.
NTA. If your neighbors are within the municipal ordinance regarding noise, you have no right to complain. I used to vacuum while my infant daughter was napping so she'd get used to sleeping amongst the noises of normal daily life. My mom did the same. Decades later, we can both sleep through anything except our dogs barking (because it means something isn't right).
I think she is suffering postpartum depression. It bring lots of anxiety.
Definitely NTA! So many people try to make a silent environment for their kids, you are just making things extremely difficult for the child and yourself. Kids need to learn how to function in a normal world, and there will be noises wherever you live. Where I live kids usually sleep outside during the day so they do get exposed to "natural sounds" and it's usually not a problem.
Babies know the sounds around them.. they can hear in the voom... why do parents think that a baby can't sleep when there is normal noice?! It is SO MISUNDERSTOOD... Baby doesn't wake up because of noise... baby wakes up because it is left alone... The world is big outside the safe voom... Baby needs mom and dad to sleep! Not silence... Sorry. It is misunderstood.. - midwife with 30+ years of experience...
My youngest would fall asleep to Guns & Roses when she was a toddler.
Dagnabbit, everyone's a critic! LOL. (Full disclosure: I find action movies somewhat dull)
Load More Replies... ALL my 4 kids were brought home,and lived with washing machine and music daily, and ALL slept through from 4weeks. my eldest Daughter also fell asleep in the back of an old landrover...and if you have ever been in one you know they are like a giant tin box full of bolts!!
Kids really are capable of falling asleep in the most extraordinary places!
Load More Replies... Here is an idea: I will take that Viper off his hands until the kid next door grows up, say, for the next 16 years. That should take care of the problem right there and I get to do a good deed!
YTA for having an exhaust that makes more noise than necessary. The rest is fine.
I like how someone called them out on it and asked whether there was a reason for it other than annoying people, and the only response was "it's not too loud." I'm really sensitive to deep sounds and automatically hate anyone who drives a loud car or motorcycle intentionally.
Load More Replies... The neighbor is TA for expecting you (or anyone) to alter your lifestyle to accommodate her hellspawn.
The problems of the sleep deprived are severe - try talking to her when she is in a better mood, and try to lose the attitude - the fact that she has to let you park inside doesn't mean you have to antagonize her about it. Talking and reaching a compromise is worth more than anything with neighboors
I think you're confused on who is doing the antagonizing here. I vote for the party intentionally blocking driveways and other nonsense against a neighbor who has already made many accommodations.
Load More Replies... Like I always say “here we are again”. Stupid a*s questions that we all know the answers to. AITA is getting played the f**k out. I punched a baby because she cried during my lunchtime. AITA.
The woman is probably more sensitive than the kid. Kids get used to sleeping with all kinds of noise. We used to have fun seeing how much our daughter could sleep through after a while, dogs, cats, stuff being dropped, kitchen noises, washing machines at night, the park right under our balcony, sirens, just regular city living noises. We don't live in a bubble, can't expect everyone around us to stop doing everything just because we had a baby.
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