Plus-Size Woman Left In Shock After Waiter Fat-Shames Her So Outrageously, Other People Can’t Even Believe It
There is no excuse for fat shaming. Unfortunately, it happens on a very frequent basis, often masquerading as ‘humor.’ Waiters, of all people, should know better than to make fun of their customers, especially considering how often they have to deal with rudeness themselves.
Gloria Bennett, a writer living in upstate New York, shared a very unpleasant experience from some time ago when she’d gone out for lunch with her friend, ‘Stephanie.’ Their waiter was incredibly rude, kept making fun of Gloria’s weight throughout the meal, and it practically borders on harassment. The cherry on top was how the ‘comedian’ quipped that the woman might eat her friend. That is just… awful. Nobody should have to go through that.
Scroll down to watch Gloria aka @theglobalgrrl’s full TikTok video where she explains what happened in detail, and how one of her friends totally didn’t believe her. Let us know what you think in the comments, Pandas. And if you’ve ever had to deal with rude people making fun of you, tell us how you reacted.
Gloria gave Bored Panda a bit more context about what happened and why she didn’t confront the waiter herself. “I was living as an international student in a European country when this happened, which is why I didn’t reply. This behavior is much more common in other cultures and is often seen as an acceptable form of humor. It was not my culture or my country, and as an immigrant, ignoring it was safer than making a scene.”
Meanwhile, Bored Panda also got in touch with comedy expert Ariane Sherine for a chat about mean jokes, what drives some people to fat-shame others, and how best to react to folks like that. “Speaking as a plus size woman, I think some people do it to try and be funny, but there’s another type who does it because they’re judging you and want to feel superior,” she told us. Read on for the full interview with the comedy writer and to see what she would’ve told the rude waiter if he had said that she’d eat her friend.
More info: TikTok | Instagram | Twitter | Medium | GMBennett.com
As part of a TikTok trend, Gloria shared a video explaining how a waiter fat-shamed her
Image credits: theglobalgrrl
Her story immediately went viral
Image credits: Louis Hansel (not the actual photo)
Image credits: K8 (not the actual photo)
Image credits: theglobalgrrl
You can watch her full video right over here
@theglobalgrrl #stitch with @danievanier Believe your fat friends. Be a Stephanie. #fatshaming ♬ original sound – G.M. Bennett
“I think the general rule for comedians is ‘never criticize someone for things they can’t change in less than five minutes.’ So if they’re sitting in the front row and wearing a funny hat, that’s fair game. But if they’re fat, that’s off limits. But a waiter isn’t a comedian, they’re there to make your visit to the restaurant smooth and enjoyable, so I don’t know what this guy was playing at,” comedy writer and expert Ariane, told Bored Panda that employees serving customers shouldn’t try to be stand-up comedians.
Ariane shared an example of how fat-shaming can happen absolutely anywhere. “I was walking down the street one time and a guy yelled out ‘Big belly!’ I wanted to yell back ‘Tiny dick!’ but he was twice my size (ironically) so I didn’t feel able,” she revealed to Bored Panda.
“It’s a sad fact of life that people judge others for their weight when it’s such an uninteresting thing about another person. Like sure, surround yourself with physically perfect people if you like, but that says more about you than it does about fat people.”
We also wanted to get Ariane’s opinion on how best to react when someone starts fat-shaming you in public. “If you have a sharp wit, use it,” she said. “If a guy joked that I was going to eat my friend, I’d say ‘Yes I am, and you’re next! So you’d better get me my food quickly or else.’ It’s not worth the rise in blood pressure getting angry about it. Some people are dicks, that’s the way of the world—don’t let them ruin your day.”
Gloria’s video was viewed 1.2 million times and had 140.8k likes at the time of writing. She started up an important discussion about the limits of humor, fat-shaming in public without fear of repercussions, how the Halo Effect is a real thing, and how ignoring an adult bully might not always be the right way to go forward.
Some people called Gloria out for her story. Here was her response
Image credits: theglobalgrrl
Image credits: theglobalgrrl
Image credits: theglobalgrrl
Image credits: theglobalgrrl
As long as the humor’s lighthearted and the jokes aren’t aimed at demeaning anyone, we’d probably be fine with a comedy-loving waiter. However, what Gloria’s waiter did went so far across the line, you couldn’t even see the line anymore.
What also hurt to listen to was how the woman’s friend completely didn’t believe her story. It was only when Stephanie confirmed what happened that she finally said that she was appalled by what happened.
Fat-shaming can happen absolutely anywhere. At your favorite restaurant. At your gym. Even online. Once you see how common it is, you realize how much harassment some people have to deal with on a regular basis.
Fitness nutrition and weight loss specialist Shelby Goodrich Eckard, who got fat-shamed when she rejected a guy’s advances, told Bored Panda earlier that “men don’t have much accountability for their own actions until they are called out on their bad behavior.”
“People, if they change, change on their own time and for their own reasons,” she said that it’s not someone’s duty to babysit a guy until he improves for the better.
Meanwhile, Canadian mom Shelby Rodriguez, who got shamed at her gym, told Bored Panda that she believes “people are uncomfortable seeing larger bodies, especially people who have larger bodies and are comfortable wearing things like crop tops.” That, in her opinion, makes some individuals turn to fat-shaming instead of being supportive, polite, and decent.
“I don’t think there is a simple answer to what needs to happen for change at a societal level, the issue is so extremely complex and something that has been going on since before I was even born. But I think a great first step is not caring what others wear into the gym, as long as they are comfortable,” she said.
“Keep going even when something brings you down. Don’t let small bumps in the road make huge ripples in your life. I love the term, ‘Dedication not motivation’ because it’s so true. Motivation comes and goes, but if you stay dedicated even when you’re not motivated, you’ll get where you want to be,” Shelby shared her advice about aiming for your goals.
Here’s what some TikTok users thought about the fat-shaming waiter and the entire situation
This is so discriminating, I have a Facebook friend who has lipoedema, as it just turned out a few months ago, probably she´d been bullied and harrassed for her weight from her childhood on, as I can imagine because already as girl she had more weight than other girls did,, other overweight people may have genetical reasons for their shape, I wouldn´t ever body-shame, bully or harass anyone for their body shape, I myself am massively underweight (BMI 14) from Systemic Lupus Erythematosus, the other extreme, I´m often seen as anorectic or bulimic, even though I´m not, in the contrary, my daily calory intake must be 3.000 or more (together with softdrinks/ice tea and tea with sugar), but my body seems to burn the calories senselessly instead of changing them to any body mass like muscles or fat. If I´d been Stephanie I´d have left that restaurant without paying anything. My opinion. You should NEVER EVER judge a book by the cover.
Well...even if someone is fat cause loves food you still shouldn't body shame them ...just saying....
Load More Replies...
I dunno why you waited and actually ate there, I would of spoken to the manager 5 minutes in. That’s a long a*s meal to sit through and deal with that guy who is an absolute idiot and I guess doesn’t realize he works for tips. Or maybe this was outside the us and he gets an hourly so he doesn't care.
I agree...I would have gotten up and left, but not before telling the manager what he did and that the waiter is why he will not only be losing your business, but any future business from friends and family as well as getting a ragingly bad review on every social media post they can find.
Load More Replies...
I believe her. I’ve had staff say stuff like that or just tell me that they are not going to sell me the food I wanted because ‘it’ll make you fatter, I’ll bring you a salad’. Fat shaming does nothing for the health of anybody.
Yes and, it makes your mental health worse which eventually Makes your physical health worse.
Load More Replies...
I'm so glad that she was with a friend who wasn't having any of that bs. Hopefully that other 'friend' takes her head out of her a*s, opens her eyes, and looks at how fat people are treated. It's not in their heads, people are the worst, and treat them like s**t.
I can't believe people don't believe her. People Do Say This Kind of Stuff All The Time. I'm a fat lady and I've had teenagers moo at me, or make beeping sounds if I back up, I once had an elderly man who ran a grocery store say he liked me shopping there because my fat was like free advertising. That doesn't include the eye rolls or smirks I get if I dare to order desert or a non diet soda.
Load More Replies...
It's that s-eating grin that tells you the f-ening is about to happen. I used to weigh over 400 pounds (have lost nearly 200, now wear a basic XL), and I've gotten UP IN PEOPLE'S FACES before, and got LOUD, and told them off. Never been afraid of confrontation, but these people provoke it. And I do not hold back, I'm there to cause tears and/or permanent erectile dysfunction through words alone, forever. If a person says c**p like this, they have an ugly, ugly heart, and they get whatever karma brings their way. Occasionally, I have been that agent of karma. Zero regrets, will do again.
Why do you feel the need to tell us what you weigh now? How is this relevant?
Load More Replies...
This is disgusting behaviour. Shaming and harassing someone for their appearance is wrong. The waiter is a nasty bully, who if challenged would probrably claim he was "joking" or "it was just light hearted banter, and he absolutely didn't mean to hurt her feelings, he had no idea she was so sensitive about it, and now he feels terrible, this is so distressing for him, why didn't she say something sooner." Fat phobic abuse should be called out and reported whenever it happens, the same as you would challenge racist or homophobic abuse. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and kindness, and not discriminated against or abused.
I saw something like this happen on a cruise ship. A rather hefty individual at our table ordered a rather hefty lunch. The waiter sneered at him, saying "That's a lot of food sir. Do you think you need that much food?" As I was walking out of the dining area, I took the Maitre'd aside and said, "Here's word for word what the waiter at table x said to a passenger." The Maitre'd's expression did not change, and he merely replied "Thank you, sir" I didn't see that waiter for a few fays after this, so I asked the Maitre'd what that waiter was doing now. He replied (again expressionlessly) "I couldn't say, sir. That individual is no longer on board."
"Excuse me waiter, could you turn around for a second? Thanks, I just wanted to see whether you had a stick shoved up there or you're just an a$$."
The comment about the maintenance person insulting her in her own home struck a nerve. I once had a telecom guy tell me I had the "millennial mindset", I guess because I dared to have some empathetic and progressive ideas? I'm an Xer, BTW.
Right? They are trying to rebrand empathy as a bad thing. Insane.
Load More Replies...
This is different from the story but similar to one of the comments saying that some guys had mooed at them in a line. One time one of my friends came to school in an all black outfit (quite common with our friend group but it was I guess more 'witchy') and apparently some grade 7 boys barked at her
Reply... before ordering - 1st demand a manager, then inform them your wallet is fatter than your a*s and the waiter at the next restaurant will be getting a $100 tip.
You poor thing. Next time someone treats you this way, loudly say, "And I hear you have sex with your daughter!"
I'm on the fence about believing this. I'm very, very overweight and I've certainly been fatshamed about it plenty of times. But it's hard to imagine going through the whole meal with someone saying this type of stuff and not saying anything. But maybe I'm just projecting my own reactions on to her. I know she said she doesn't like confrontation but she doesn't have a problem posting this story for the world to read so she's not shy. I get annoyed with people who post things but don't name the perpetrator. What did she want from posting it? We already know fat-shaming exists so what was the point other than attention? At the very least she should have talked to the manager to keep him from doing this to someone else. If he's doing it to you he's doing it to others so you're enabling him to do it again with your silence. If the manager allows it then make a post and say, "hey don't go to this restaurant because this is what happened to me and they didn't care. So let me warn you."
Honestly, the least believable part of the story for me is that she put up with the comments for so long. Personally, I'd start crying or screaming at the waiter (probably both) and leave after second or third "joke", even if I was just the friend and not the target.
They most certainly do. I was a waitress and have seen people do messed up stuff while working and when I was a patron.
Load More Replies... 
"He only hurts you because he likes you" is just a massively assholish excuse for misogynists
Load More Replies... This is so discriminating, I have a Facebook friend who has lipoedema, as it just turned out a few months ago, probably she´d been bullied and harrassed for her weight from her childhood on, as I can imagine because already as girl she had more weight than other girls did,, other overweight people may have genetical reasons for their shape, I wouldn´t ever body-shame, bully or harass anyone for their body shape, I myself am massively underweight (BMI 14) from Systemic Lupus Erythematosus, the other extreme, I´m often seen as anorectic or bulimic, even though I´m not, in the contrary, my daily calory intake must be 3.000 or more (together with softdrinks/ice tea and tea with sugar), but my body seems to burn the calories senselessly instead of changing them to any body mass like muscles or fat. If I´d been Stephanie I´d have left that restaurant without paying anything. My opinion. You should NEVER EVER judge a book by the cover.
Well...even if someone is fat cause loves food you still shouldn't body shame them ...just saying....
Load More Replies... I dunno why you waited and actually ate there, I would of spoken to the manager 5 minutes in. That’s a long a*s meal to sit through and deal with that guy who is an absolute idiot and I guess doesn’t realize he works for tips. Or maybe this was outside the us and he gets an hourly so he doesn't care.
I agree...I would have gotten up and left, but not before telling the manager what he did and that the waiter is why he will not only be losing your business, but any future business from friends and family as well as getting a ragingly bad review on every social media post they can find.
Load More Replies... I believe her. I’ve had staff say stuff like that or just tell me that they are not going to sell me the food I wanted because ‘it’ll make you fatter, I’ll bring you a salad’. Fat shaming does nothing for the health of anybody.
Yes and, it makes your mental health worse which eventually Makes your physical health worse.
Load More Replies... I'm so glad that she was with a friend who wasn't having any of that bs. Hopefully that other 'friend' takes her head out of her a*s, opens her eyes, and looks at how fat people are treated. It's not in their heads, people are the worst, and treat them like s**t.
I can't believe people don't believe her. People Do Say This Kind of Stuff All The Time. I'm a fat lady and I've had teenagers moo at me, or make beeping sounds if I back up, I once had an elderly man who ran a grocery store say he liked me shopping there because my fat was like free advertising. That doesn't include the eye rolls or smirks I get if I dare to order desert or a non diet soda.
Load More Replies... It's that s-eating grin that tells you the f-ening is about to happen. I used to weigh over 400 pounds (have lost nearly 200, now wear a basic XL), and I've gotten UP IN PEOPLE'S FACES before, and got LOUD, and told them off. Never been afraid of confrontation, but these people provoke it. And I do not hold back, I'm there to cause tears and/or permanent erectile dysfunction through words alone, forever. If a person says c**p like this, they have an ugly, ugly heart, and they get whatever karma brings their way. Occasionally, I have been that agent of karma. Zero regrets, will do again.
Why do you feel the need to tell us what you weigh now? How is this relevant?
Load More Replies... This is disgusting behaviour. Shaming and harassing someone for their appearance is wrong. The waiter is a nasty bully, who if challenged would probrably claim he was "joking" or "it was just light hearted banter, and he absolutely didn't mean to hurt her feelings, he had no idea she was so sensitive about it, and now he feels terrible, this is so distressing for him, why didn't she say something sooner." Fat phobic abuse should be called out and reported whenever it happens, the same as you would challenge racist or homophobic abuse. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and kindness, and not discriminated against or abused.
I saw something like this happen on a cruise ship. A rather hefty individual at our table ordered a rather hefty lunch. The waiter sneered at him, saying "That's a lot of food sir. Do you think you need that much food?" As I was walking out of the dining area, I took the Maitre'd aside and said, "Here's word for word what the waiter at table x said to a passenger." The Maitre'd's expression did not change, and he merely replied "Thank you, sir" I didn't see that waiter for a few fays after this, so I asked the Maitre'd what that waiter was doing now. He replied (again expressionlessly) "I couldn't say, sir. That individual is no longer on board."
"Excuse me waiter, could you turn around for a second? Thanks, I just wanted to see whether you had a stick shoved up there or you're just an a$$."
The comment about the maintenance person insulting her in her own home struck a nerve. I once had a telecom guy tell me I had the "millennial mindset", I guess because I dared to have some empathetic and progressive ideas? I'm an Xer, BTW.
Right? They are trying to rebrand empathy as a bad thing. Insane.
Load More Replies... This is different from the story but similar to one of the comments saying that some guys had mooed at them in a line. One time one of my friends came to school in an all black outfit (quite common with our friend group but it was I guess more 'witchy') and apparently some grade 7 boys barked at her
Reply... before ordering - 1st demand a manager, then inform them your wallet is fatter than your a*s and the waiter at the next restaurant will be getting a $100 tip.
You poor thing. Next time someone treats you this way, loudly say, "And I hear you have sex with your daughter!"
I'm on the fence about believing this. I'm very, very overweight and I've certainly been fatshamed about it plenty of times. But it's hard to imagine going through the whole meal with someone saying this type of stuff and not saying anything. But maybe I'm just projecting my own reactions on to her. I know she said she doesn't like confrontation but she doesn't have a problem posting this story for the world to read so she's not shy. I get annoyed with people who post things but don't name the perpetrator. What did she want from posting it? We already know fat-shaming exists so what was the point other than attention? At the very least she should have talked to the manager to keep him from doing this to someone else. If he's doing it to you he's doing it to others so you're enabling him to do it again with your silence. If the manager allows it then make a post and say, "hey don't go to this restaurant because this is what happened to me and they didn't care. So let me warn you."
Honestly, the least believable part of the story for me is that she put up with the comments for so long. Personally, I'd start crying or screaming at the waiter (probably both) and leave after second or third "joke", even if I was just the friend and not the target.
They most certainly do. I was a waitress and have seen people do messed up stuff while working and when I was a patron.
Load More Replies... "He only hurts you because he likes you" is just a massively assholish excuse for misogynists
Load More Replies...
97
33