After years of severe depression and losing track of days not to mention who I used to be, I found that somewhere along the way I stopped caring. Missed outings with friends, existing in a pervasive fog of emptiness and even the thirty pounds I put on didn’t matter to me. I was slowly descending into a walled off shell of my former self. How did I get here? That is a scary question that I wasn’t sure I wanted to answer.
I used to have confidence, I used to be outgoing and full of life. I didn’t recognize myself anymore. If I had to be honest, and I did, my life wasn’t matching up to my expectations. That’s the hard thing about expectations. This period in my life also corresponded with the demise of the two most significant relationships of my adult life, the last one ending in spectacular fashion. When you do everything in your power to hold onto the one you love and it isn’t enough you begin to feel that you are not enough.
Though I no longer suffer from depression, the walls I have up are ever present. While creating these photographs I began to understand what I physically and mentally went through and to realize how it changed me. This is the truth of one of the chapters of my life and how in many ways I am still trying to come to terms with me that I used to know and love who I am becoming.
More info: jennybarrphotography.com
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